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🏦 ACT 1: THE ORACLE’S “HOMESPUN” ORIGIN STORY

*(1950s: Young Warren sells *used chewing gum* to classmates.)*
WARREN: *“See, it’s *value investing*—I’m *recycling!”
TEACHER: *“That’s *theft.”
WARREN: *“No, *tax-efficient wealth redistribution.” 💸

*(Buys first stock: *A polio vaccine vat* labeled “Future Gates Collab”.)*

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💉 ACT 2: THE GATES CONVERSION THERAPY

*(1991: Bill *infects* Warren with philanthropy.)*
BILL: *“Just *donate* 99%… to my foundation.”*
WARREN: *“But *compound interest—!”
BILL: “Silence*, peasant. *Global health* needs *your *railroad stocks.” 🚂💊

*(Warren *cries* a single Coca-Cola-flavored tear.)*

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🌍 ACT 3: THE GREAT CHARITABLE TAX SHELTER

*(2020: *Gates Foundation* HQ. A PR team high-fives over depopulation flowcharts.)*

WARREN: *“Bill, *Africa* needs mosquito nets!”*
BILL: *“No, *AI-driven* sterilization drones!”* 🦟🤖
JAMIE DIMON (watching): *“Can we *monetize* famine?”*

*(They *compromise* on vaccine-powered McDonald’s shakes.)*

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🚀 ACT 4: THE ULTIMATE LEGACY (2030)

*(Warren *uploads* to the cloud as “AI Oracle™”.)*

AI WARREN: “Advice*: Buy *dip*… in *human* blood plasma markets.”*
AI BILL: “Upgrade* to Subscription Death! Auto-renewal enabled!”*

*(Humanity *accepts* terms and conditions.)*

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🎯 WHY THIS CUTS DEEPER THAN A TAX AUDIT:

✅ Buffett’s “folksy” act: More scripted than *Gates’ *hair*
✅ Their friendship: Just mutual avoidance of estate taxes
✅ Philanthropy: *The *ultimate* Ponzi scheme (with UN approval)**

🔗 FULL UNREDACTED DOSSIER:
👉 berndpulch.org/buffett-gates-bromance *(Auto-deletes in *5…4…3…)

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🏷️ TAGS FOR THE SHADOW GOVERNMENT ALGORITHM:

BuffettGates #TaxEvasionHumor #PhilanthropySatire #DeathByCharity #BerkshireBillionaires #BerndPulch

⚠️ DISCLAIMER: *Reading this *may* cause sudden urges to hide money in a Cayman diorama.*

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P.S. The real “long game” was avoiding inheritance tax long enough to become AI gods.* 🤖👑

P.P.S. Like this post? *Your *net worth* has been adjusted to $0 for “charitable” purposes.* 💰➡️💸

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