“Volksverhetzung: Thoughtcrime with Better Branding”โ
By George Orwell (via the Ministry of Correct Thinking)
In a small, efficient country where the clocks chime with perfect punctuality and the trains arrive with the zeal of a bureaucratโs heartbeat, there exists a law so pure, so immaculate in its virtue, that it might have been authored by the angels themselvesโor by a particularly inventive committee of Party loyalists.
This law is called Volksverhetzung.
Volksverhetzung, roughly translated, means “inciting the people,” although a more accurate rendering might be “saying things the State finds inconvenient.”
It was born from noble ideals, of courseโeverything dreadful always is. After all, who could oppose a law that promises to protect society from hatred? Only a hateful person, naturally. Q.E.D.
Thus, the citizenry, once burdened with the heavy task of thinking, was liberated. Now, a man need not ask himself, “Is my opinion just?” but only “Is my opinion permitted?”
The difference, you see, is critical.
The Mechanics of Virtue
Volksverhetzung operates with the smooth efficiency of a well-oiled typewriter in the Ministry of Truth. To commit the crime, one must “incite hatred” against “segments of the population” in a manner “capable of disturbing public peace”โa definition so lovingly elastic that even disliking a parking attendant too loudly could, in theory, attract suspicion.
Of course, it is not hatred itself that is the problem. Hatred against approved targetsโsay, political dissidents, unfashionable thinkers, or anyone who frowns at official optimismโis not only allowed but encouraged.
No, the true crime is misaligned hatredโhatred not in service of the Partyโs narrative.
To say, “I mistrust the government,” is dangerous.
To say, “I mistrust those who mistrust the government,” is virtuous.
The line is drawn not by reason or morality, but by the caprice of the prevailing orthodoxy.
Public Peace: A Fragile Ornament
The most delicate artifact in all of Germany is public peace. So fragile is it that a single skeptical eyebrow raised in the wrong cafรฉ can send the whole edifice crashing down like a Berlin wall of modern sensitivities.
Therefore, strict vigilance is required. If you hear your neighbor muttering about immigration policy, economic disparities, or the paradox of “democratic censorship,” report him immediately. Not because you hate him, of courseโhate is forbiddenโbut because you love public peace.
Love, in this context, wears jackboots.
The Thought Police, Now with Paperwork
Unlike the crude enforcers of my earlier nightmares, Germanyโs Thought Police are charmingly civil. No one bursts into your home at midnight anymore (too messy, too loud). Instead, a letter arrives:
“Dear Sir or Madam, You are invited to attend an inquiry regarding allegations of Volksverhetzung. Please bring identification, humility, and a willingness to renounce your sins.”
Itโs all so orderly, so hygienic, you scarcely notice youโre living inside a velvet-wrapped version of 1984 until the door gently clicks shut behind you.
A Conclusion, as Permitted
In Germany today, you may speak freelyโso long as your speech is pre-approved, quality-tested, and culturally sanitized. Volksverhetzung is the art of outlawing wrongthink while swaddling the punishment in the warm, fuzzy language of progress.
And when at last the human spirit stands fully muzzled, trembling with gratitude for its own captivity, the authorities will nod approvingly and say:
“At last, the people are truly free.”
Finis.
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“Volksverhetzungโข โ Das goldene Kalb der Gedankenpolizei”
Von George Orwell (hรคtte er in Berlin eine Schreibmaschine gefunden)
I. Einfรผhrung in die neue Wahrheit
In Deutschland wurde eine neue heilige Kuh geboren: sie heiรt Volksverhetzungโข. Angeblich zum Schutz der รถffentlichen Ordnung erschaffen, dient sie nun als Zauberformel, mit der jede unliebsame Meinung in ein Verbrechen verwandelt werden kann.
Das Prinzip ist simpel: Wer die Regierung kritisiert โ Volksverhetzung! Wer auf Missstรคnde hinweist โ Volksverhetzung! Wer es wagt, laut zu denken โ Volksverhetzung!
II. Gedankenverbrechen reloaded
In Orwells London fรผrchtete man den Thoughtcrime; in Merkels und Scholzโ Deutschland genรผgt ein falsch gesetztes Komma auf Facebook, und schon klopft die Staatsanwaltschaft.
“Volksverhetzung” braucht keine klare Definition, denn in bester dystopischer Tradition bedeutet es, was immer die Mรคchtigen gerade wรผnschen. Heute ein Witz, morgen ein Verfahren.
III. Der neue Gottesdienst
Die Gerichte beten nun tรคglich das neue Evangelium herunter:
“Hat der Bรผrger einen Satz gesagt, der einen anderen Bรผrger emotional beleidigen kรถnnte?”
“War die Ironie eventuell nicht mit Smileys versehen?”
“Hat jemand irgendwo behauptet, der Kaiser sei nackt?”
Schuldig im Zweifel. Besser zehn Unschuldige verurteilen als einen Zweifel aufkommen lassen.
IV. Die Hygiene der Meinung
Volksverhetzungโข ist die Hygienepolizei der Gedankenwelt. Es geht nicht darum, echte Hetze zu bekรคmpfen โ sondern darum, das Denken selbst zu desinfizieren.
Nur sterilisierte Meinungen dรผrfen die sterile รffentlichkeit betreten. Und wehe dem, der eine eigene hat โ das ist wie nackt in der Quarantรคnezone tanzen.
V. Schlussgedanken
Wenn Worte gefรคhrlicher sind als Taten, wenn Ironie als Terrorismus gilt und Humor als Hass ausgelegt wird, dann lebt das deutsche Volk endlich in der perfekten Utopie:
Ein Land voller freier Menschen โ die nichts mehr zu sagen haben.
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