๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Taurus ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXCLUSIVE on berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

“Chancellor Merz smirks over a glowing map of Europe in the Bundestag War Room, 2025, as Taurus missiles loom and multilingual protests eruptโ€”Wir lieben die Bombe!โ€”in a darkly comedic Kubrickian satire.”

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ oder: Wie ich lernte, die Taurus zu lieben und den Atomkrieg zu umarmen ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXKLUSIV auf berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

Versions:

โœŒ


๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง English

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Taurus ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXCLUSIVE on berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช


๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช Deutsch

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ oder: Wie ich lernte, die Taurus zu lieben und den Atomkrieg zu umarmen ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXKLUSIV auf berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช


๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท Franรงais

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ ou : Comment j’ai appris ร  aimer le Taurus et la bombe ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXCLUSIF sur berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท


๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น Italiano

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dott. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ ovvero: Come ho imparato ad amare il Taurus e la bomba ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ESCLUSIVA su berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น


๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ Espaรฑol

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ o: Cรณmo aprendรญ a amar el Taurus y dejar de preocuparme por la bomba ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXCLUSIVO en berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ


๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น Portuguรชs

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ ou: Como Aprendi a Amar o Taurus e a Bomba ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXCLUSIVO em berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น


๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Nederlands

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ of: Hoe ik leerde de Taurus en de bom lief te hebben ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXCLUSIEF op berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ


๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ Polski

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ czyli: Jak pokochaล‚em Taurusa i przestaล‚em baฤ‡ siฤ™ bomby ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” TYLKO na berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ


๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช Svenska

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ eller: Hur jag lรคrde mig รคlska Taurus och sluta oroa mig fรถr bomben ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ENDAST pรฅ berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช


๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท ฮ•ฮปฮปฮทฮฝฮนฮบฮฌ

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ฮ”ฯ. ฮœฮตฯฯ„ฯ‚ ๐Ÿ’ผ ฮฎ: ฮ ฯŽฯ‚ ฮญฮผฮฑฮธฮฑ ฮฝฮฑ ฮฑฮณฮฑฯ€ฯŽ ฯ„ฮฟฮฝ ฮคฮฑฯฯฮฟ ฮบฮฑฮน ฮฝฮฑ ฯƒฯ„ฮฑฮผฮฑฯ„ฮฎฯƒฯ‰ ฮฝฮฑ ฮฑฮฝฮทฯƒฯ…ฯ‡ฯŽ ฮณฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฮท ฮฒฯŒฮผฮฒฮฑ ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ฮ‘ฮ ฮŸฮšฮ›ฮ•ฮ™ฮฃฮคฮ™ฮšฮ‘ ฯƒฯ„ฮฟ berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท


๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ะ ัƒััะบะธะน

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ะ”ะพะบั‚ะพั€ ะœะตั€ั† ๐Ÿ’ผ ะธะปะธ: ะšะฐะบ ั ะฝะฐัƒั‡ะธะปัั ะปัŽะฑะธั‚ัŒ ยซะขะฐัƒั€ัƒัยป ะธ ะฟะตั€ะตัั‚ะฐะป ะฑะพัั‚ัŒัั ะฑะพะผะฑั‹ ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ะญะšะกะšะ›ะฎะ—ะ˜ะ’ะะž ะฝะฐ berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ


๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท Tรผrkรงe

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ veya: Taurus’u Sevmeyi ve Bombadan Korkmamayฤฑ Nasฤฑl ร–ฤŸrendim ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” SADECE berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท


๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ ุงู„ุนุฑุจูŠุฉ

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ุงู„ุฏูƒุชูˆุฑ ู…ูŠุฑุชุณ ๐Ÿ’ผ ุฃูˆ: ูƒูŠู ุชุนู„ู…ุช ุฃู† ุฃุญุจ ุตุงุฑูˆุฎ ุชุงูˆุฑูˆุณ ูˆุฃุชูˆู‚ู ุนู† ุงู„ู‚ู„ู‚ ุจุดุฃู† ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ุญุตุฑู‹ุง ุนู„ู‰ berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ


๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ ืขื‘ืจื™ืช

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ื“”ืจ ืžืจืฅ ๐Ÿ’ผ ืื•: ืื™ืš ืœืžื“ืชื™ ืœืื”ื•ื‘ ืืช ื”ื˜ืื•ืจื•ืก ื•ืœื”ืคืกื™ืง ืœื“ืื•ื’ ืžื”ืคืฆืฆื” ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ื‘ืœืขื“ื™ ื‘- berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ


๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต ๆ—ฅๆœฌ่ชž

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ใƒกใƒซใƒ„ๅšๅฃซ ๐Ÿ’ผ ใพใŸใฏ๏ผšใ„ใ‹ใซใ—ใฆใ‚ฟใ‚ฆใƒซใ‚นใ‚’ๆ„›ใ—ใ€็ˆ†ๅผพใ‚’ๅฟƒ้…ใ—ใชใใชใฃใŸใ‹ ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ้™ๅฎšๅ…ฌ้–‹๏ผš berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต


๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ ไธญๆ–‡

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ๆข…ๅฐ”่Œจๅšๅฃซ ๐Ÿ’ผ๏ผšๆˆ‘ๅฆ‚ไฝ•ๅญฆไผš็ˆฑไธŠ้‡‘็‰›ๅบงๅฏผๅผนๅนถไธๅ†ๆ‹…ๅฟƒ็‚ธๅผน ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ็‹ฌๅฎถๅ‘ๅธƒๅœจ berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ


๐ŸŒ Esperanto

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Doktoro Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ aลญ: Kiel mi lernis ami la Tauruson kaj ฤ‰esi zorgi pri la bombo ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EKSKLUZIVE ฤ‰e berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐ŸŒ


โœŒ

๐Ÿคก

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Taurus ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXCLUSIVE on berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช
๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ oder: Wie ich lernte, die Taurus zu lieben und den Atomkrieg zu umarmen ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXKLUSIV auf berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช
๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ ou : Comment j’ai appris ร  aimer le Taurus et la bombe ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXCLUSIF sur berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท
๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dott. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ ovvero: Come ho imparato ad amare il Taurus e la bomba ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ESCLUSIVA su berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น
๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ o: Cรณmo aprendรญ a amar el Taurus y dejar de preocuparme por la bomba ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXCLUSIVO en berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ
๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ ou: Como Aprendi a Amar o Taurus e a Bomba ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXCLUSIVO em berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น
๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ of: Hoe ik leerde de Taurus en de bom lief te hebben ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXCLUSIEF op berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ
๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ czyli: Jak pokochaล‚em Taurusa i przestaล‚em baฤ‡ siฤ™ bomby ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” TYLKO na berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ eller: Hur jag lรคrde mig รคlska Taurus och sluta oroa mig fรถr bomben ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ENDAST pรฅ berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช
๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ฮ”ฯ. ฮœฮตฯฯ„ฯ‚ ๐Ÿ’ผ ฮฎ: ฮ ฯŽฯ‚ ฮญฮผฮฑฮธฮฑ ฮฝฮฑ ฮฑฮณฮฑฯ€ฯŽ ฯ„ฮฟฮฝ ฮคฮฑฯฯฮฟ ฮบฮฑฮน ฮฝฮฑ ฯƒฯ„ฮฑฮผฮฑฯ„ฮฎฯƒฯ‰ ฮฝฮฑ ฮฑฮฝฮทฯƒฯ…ฯ‡ฯŽ ฮณฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฮท ฮฒฯŒฮผฮฒฮฑ ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ฮ‘ฮ ฮŸฮšฮ›ฮ•ฮ™ฮฃฮคฮ™ฮšฮ‘ ฯƒฯ„ฮฟ berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท
๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ะ”ะพะบั‚ะพั€ ะœะตั€ั† ๐Ÿ’ผ ะธะปะธ: ะšะฐะบ ั ะฝะฐัƒั‡ะธะปัั ะปัŽะฑะธั‚ัŒ ยซะขะฐัƒั€ัƒัยป ะธ ะฟะตั€ะตัั‚ะฐะป ะฑะพัั‚ัŒัั ะฑะพะผะฑั‹ ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ะญะšะกะšะ›ะฎะ—ะ˜ะ’ะะž ะฝะฐ berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ
๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ veya: Taurus’u Sevmeyi ve Bombadan Korkmamayฤฑ Nasฤฑl ร–ฤŸrendim ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” SADECE berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท
๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ุงู„ุฏูƒุชูˆุฑ ู…ูŠุฑุชุณ ๐Ÿ’ผ ุฃูˆ: ูƒูŠู ุชุนู„ู…ุช ุฃู† ุฃุญุจ ุตุงุฑูˆุฎ ุชุงูˆุฑูˆุณ ูˆุฃุชูˆู‚ู ุนู† ุงู„ู‚ู„ู‚ ุจุดุฃู† ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ุญุตุฑู‹ุง ุนู„ู‰ berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ
๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ื“”ืจ ืžืจืฅ ๐Ÿ’ผ ืื•: ืื™ืš ืœืžื“ืชื™ ืœืื”ื•ื‘ ืืช ื”ื˜ืื•ืจื•ืก ื•ืœื”ืคืกื™ืง ืœื“ืื•ื’ ืžื”ืคืฆืฆื” ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ื‘ืœืขื“ื™ ื‘- berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ
๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ใƒกใƒซใƒ„ๅšๅฃซ ๐Ÿ’ผ ใพใŸใฏ๏ผšใ„ใ‹ใซใ—ใฆใ‚ฟใ‚ฆใƒซใ‚นใ‚’ๆ„›ใ—ใ€็ˆ†ๅผพใ‚’ๅฟƒ้…ใ—ใชใใชใฃใŸใ‹ ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ้™ๅฎšๅ…ฌ้–‹๏ผš berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ๆข…ๅฐ”่Œจๅšๅฃซ ๐Ÿ’ผ๏ผšๆˆ‘ๅฆ‚ไฝ•ๅญฆไผš็ˆฑไธŠ้‡‘็‰›ๅบงๅฏผๅผนๅนถไธๅ†ๆ‹…ๅฟƒ็‚ธๅผน ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ็‹ฌๅฎถๅ‘ๅธƒๅœจ berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ
๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Doktoro Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ aลญ: Kiel mi lernis ami la Tauruson kaj ฤ‰esi zorgi pri la bombo ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EKSKLUZIVE ฤ‰e berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐ŸŒ

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Taurus ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXCLUSIVE on berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช
๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ oder: Wie ich lernte, die Taurus zu lieben und den Atomkrieg zu umarmen ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXKLUSIV auf berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช
๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ ou : Comment j’ai appris ร  aimer le Taurus et la bombe ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXCLUSIF sur berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท
๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dott. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ ovvero: Come ho imparato ad amare il Taurus e la bomba ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ESCLUSIVA su berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น
๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ o: Cรณmo aprendรญ a amar el Taurus y dejar de preocuparme por la bomba ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXCLUSIVO en berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ
๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ ou: Como Aprendi a Amar o Taurus e a Bomba ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXCLUSIVO em berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น
๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ of: Hoe ik leerde de Taurus en de bom lief te hebben ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EXCLUSIEF op berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ
๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ czyli: Jak pokochaล‚em Taurusa i przestaล‚em baฤ‡ siฤ™ bomby ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” TYLKO na berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ eller: Hur jag lรคrde mig รคlska Taurus och sluta oroa mig fรถr bomben ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ENDAST pรฅ berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช
๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ฮ”ฯ. ฮœฮตฯฯ„ฯ‚ ๐Ÿ’ผ ฮฎ: ฮ ฯŽฯ‚ ฮญฮผฮฑฮธฮฑ ฮฝฮฑ ฮฑฮณฮฑฯ€ฯŽ ฯ„ฮฟฮฝ ฮคฮฑฯฯฮฟ ฮบฮฑฮน ฮฝฮฑ ฯƒฯ„ฮฑฮผฮฑฯ„ฮฎฯƒฯ‰ ฮฝฮฑ ฮฑฮฝฮทฯƒฯ…ฯ‡ฯŽ ฮณฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฮท ฮฒฯŒฮผฮฒฮฑ ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ฮ‘ฮ ฮŸฮšฮ›ฮ•ฮ™ฮฃฮคฮ™ฮšฮ‘ ฯƒฯ„ฮฟ berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท
๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ะ”ะพะบั‚ะพั€ ะœะตั€ั† ๐Ÿ’ผ ะธะปะธ: ะšะฐะบ ั ะฝะฐัƒั‡ะธะปัั ะปัŽะฑะธั‚ัŒ ยซะขะฐัƒั€ัƒัยป ะธ ะฟะตั€ะตัั‚ะฐะป ะฑะพัั‚ัŒัั ะฑะพะผะฑั‹ ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ะญะšะกะšะ›ะฎะ—ะ˜ะ’ะะž ะฝะฐ berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ
๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ veya: Taurus’u Sevmeyi ve Bombadan Korkmamayฤฑ Nasฤฑl ร–ฤŸrendim ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” SADECE berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท
๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ุงู„ุฏูƒุชูˆุฑ ู…ูŠุฑุชุณ ๐Ÿ’ผ ุฃูˆ: ูƒูŠู ุชุนู„ู…ุช ุฃู† ุฃุญุจ ุตุงุฑูˆุฎ ุชุงูˆุฑูˆุณ ูˆุฃุชูˆู‚ู ุนู† ุงู„ู‚ู„ู‚ ุจุดุฃู† ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ุญุตุฑู‹ุง ุนู„ู‰ berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ
๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ื“”ืจ ืžืจืฅ ๐Ÿ’ผ ืื•: ืื™ืš ืœืžื“ืชื™ ืœืื”ื•ื‘ ืืช ื”ื˜ืื•ืจื•ืก ื•ืœื”ืคืกื™ืง ืœื“ืื•ื’ ืžื”ืคืฆืฆื” ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ื‘ืœืขื“ื™ ื‘- berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ
๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ใƒกใƒซใƒ„ๅšๅฃซ ๐Ÿ’ผ ใพใŸใฏ๏ผšใ„ใ‹ใซใ—ใฆใ‚ฟใ‚ฆใƒซใ‚นใ‚’ๆ„›ใ—ใ€็ˆ†ๅผพใ‚’ๅฟƒ้…ใ—ใชใใชใฃใŸใ‹ ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ้™ๅฎšๅ…ฌ้–‹๏ผš berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ๆข…ๅฐ”่Œจๅšๅฃซ ๐Ÿ’ผ๏ผšๆˆ‘ๅฆ‚ไฝ•ๅญฆไผš็ˆฑไธŠ้‡‘็‰›ๅบงๅฏผๅผนๅนถไธๅ†ๆ‹…ๅฟƒ็‚ธๅผน ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ็‹ฌๅฎถๅ‘ๅธƒๅœจ berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ
๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Doktoro Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ aลญ: Kiel mi lernis ami la Tauruson kaj ฤ‰esi zorgi pri la bombo ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EKSKLUZIVE ฤ‰e berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐ŸŒ


๐ŸŽฏ Dr. Merz or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Taurus ๐Ÿ’ฃ

INT. BUNDESTAG WAR ROOM – DAY

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ Berlin, 2025. A sleek, black-and-white chamber with a glowing digital map of Europe pulsing red. ๐Ÿ”ด Protests rage outside over Germanyโ€™s Taurus missile shipments to Ukraine, poised to strike Russia. ๐Ÿš€ CHANCELLOR FRIEDRICH MERZ, nicknamed โ€œFotzen Fritzโ€ by detractors for his hawkish bravado, presides over a chaotic table of bureaucrats, generals, and diplomats. ๐Ÿช– GENERAL KARL โ€œKREUZWINDโ€ KRAMER, a Bundeswehr zealot, clutches missile plans. ๐Ÿ“„ DR. HEINRICH STRUDEL, an ex-Nazi scientist turned arms consultant, giggles maniacally. ๐Ÿงช AMBASSADOR CLAIRE VON SCHร–N, French and frazzled, chain-smokes. ๐Ÿšฌ The screen blares: โ€œTAURUS DEPLOYMENT AUTHORIZED.โ€ โš ๏ธ

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ smirking, adjusting tie):
Meine Damen und Herren, history beckons! The Taurus will teach Putin a lesson. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(German: โ€œWe love the bomb!โ€)

VON SCHร–N (๐Ÿ˜ฑ in French, aghast):
Nous aimons la bombe? Fritz, youโ€™re a cowboy riding a warhead! This isnโ€™t poker! โ™ ๏ธ
(French: โ€œWe love the bomb?โ€)

KRAMER (๐Ÿ‘Š slamming fist):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”er, wir lieben die Bombe! Taurus: 500 kilometers, pinpoint precision! ๐ŸŽฏ One hit, Moscowโ€™s generals eat borscht in bunkers! ๐Ÿฅฃ
(Spanish: โ€œWe love the bomb!โ€)

STRUDEL (๐Ÿ˜œ cackling, twitching):
Ja, my Taurus sings Ride of the Valkyries on impact! Amiamo la bomba, as Italians say. ๐ŸŽผ A Wagnerian warhead!
(Italian: โ€œWe love the bomb!โ€)

AMBASSADOR IVANOV (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ Russian, via video, livid):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? You Germans poke the bear ๐Ÿป, Berlin glows like Chernobyl! โ˜ข๏ธ
(Russian: โ€œWe love the bomb?โ€)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ Aide HANS trembles, raising a hand.

HANS:
Herr Kanzler, Poland calls this Kochamy bombฤ™ insanity. ๐Ÿคฏ NATO wants a veto. ๐Ÿšซ Also, protesters chant โ€œFotzen Fritzโ€ in Arabic. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(Polish: โ€œWe love the bomb!โ€)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ก fuming):
Fotzen Fritz? Peasant slander! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? Let them scream! ๐Ÿ˜ค Taurus secures Europe! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(Arabic: โ€œLove the bomb!โ€)

STRUDEL (leaping up, arm saluting):
I can walk! ๐Ÿง I mean, launch! ๐Ÿš€ Taurus is automated, unstoppable! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”as the Chinese might say, if they werenโ€™t arming both sides. ๐Ÿ‰
(Chinese: โ€œI love the bomb!โ€)

VON SCHร–N (horrified):
Automated? No recall? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! becomes ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ Germans and rocketsโ€”disaster! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Spanish: โ€œGoodbye, world!โ€)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ZELENSKYY appears onscreen, exhausted.

ZELENSKYY (in English):
Fritz, we need Taurus, but Russiaโ€™s Doomsday Machine rumors… One missile, sayonara, Europe. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(Japanese: โ€œGoodbyeโ€)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜“ sweating):
Doomsday Machine? Fiction! ๐Ÿ“– Kramer, we can stop the missiles, right?

KRAMER (chewing cigar):
Uh, maybe โ€œF-O-Tโ€? โ€œF-R-Iโ€? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”sorry, learning Japanese. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(Japanese: โ€œI love the bomb!โ€)

โ˜ข๏ธ Chaos erupts. Aides scream in six languages. Strudelโ€™s arm salutes wildly. Von Schรถn lights another cigarette. Protesters chant: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(Arabic: โ€œLove the bomb? No!โ€)

MERZ (muttering, staring at map):
Maybe I do love the bomb. So… German. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ A Taurus missile soars over Ukraine, humming Ride of the Valkyries. ๐ŸŽถ โ€œWeโ€™ll Meet Againโ€ plays as explosions bloom. ๐Ÿ”ฅ A Berlin protesterโ€™s sign reads: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(Chinese: โ€œI love the bomb? No!โ€)

FADE TO BLACK. ๐Ÿ–ค


๐Ÿ’ฌ This satire, inspired by Dr. Strangelove, exaggerates Merzโ€™s hawkishness and the Taurus missile debate into a darkly comedic 2025 crisis, with multilingual chaos reflecting Europeโ€™s disarray. All characters and events are fictionalized for humor. ๐ŸŽญ


โœŒ


๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช Deutsch

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ oder: Wie ich lernte, die Taurus zu lieben und den Atomkrieg zu umarmen ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€
EXKLUSIV auf berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช
INT. BUNDESTAGS-KRIEGSRAUM – TAG
๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ Berlin, 2025. Ein schicker Schwarz-WeiรŸ-Raum mit einer rot pulsierenden Europakarte. ๐Ÿ”ด Proteste toben gegen Taurus-Raketenlieferungen an die Ukraine. ๐Ÿš€ KANZLER FRIEDRICH MERZ (โ€žFotzen Fritzโ€œ genannt) herrscht รผber Chaoten aus Bรผrokraten, Generรคlen und Diplomaten. ๐Ÿช– GENERAL KARL โ€žKREUZWINDโ€œ KRAMER klammert sich an Raketenplรคne. ๐Ÿ“„ DR. HEINRICH STRUDEL, Ex-Nazi-Waffeningenieur, kichert wahnsinnig. ๐Ÿงช AMBASSADEUR CLAIRE VON SCHร–N (Franzรถsin) raucht kettenrauchend. ๐Ÿšฌ Bildschirm: โ€žTAURUS-EINSATZ FREIGEGEBENโ€œ. โš ๏ธ

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ schmunzelnd, Krawatte richtend):
โ€žMeine Damen und Herren, die Geschichte ruft! Taurus wird Putin lehren. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅโ€œ

VON SCHร–N (๐Ÿ˜ฑ entsetzt, auf Franzรถsisch):
โ€žNous aimons la bombe? Fritz, du reitest auf einem Sprengkopf! Das ist kein Poker! โ™ ๏ธโ€œ

KRAMER (๐Ÿ‘Š Faust schlagend):
โ€žยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”ร„h, wir lieben die Bombe! Taurus: 500 km, punktgenau! ๐ŸŽฏ Ein Trefferโ€”Moskaus Generรคle essen Borschtsch in Bunkern! ๐Ÿฅฃโ€œ

STRUDEL (๐Ÿ˜œ kichernd, zuckend):
โ€žJa, mein Taurus singt Walkรผrenritt beim Einschlag! Amiamo la bomba, wie Italiener sagen. ๐ŸŽผ Ein Wagner-Geschoss!โ€œ

AMBASSADEUR IVANOV (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ per Video, wรผtend):
โ€žะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? Ihr Deutschen stupst den Bรคren ๐Ÿปโ€”Berlin glรผht wie Tschernobyl! โ˜ข๏ธโ€œ

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ Assistent HANS zittert.

HANS:
โ€žHerr Kanzler, Polen nennt das Kochamy bombฤ™ Wahnsinn. ๐Ÿคฏ NATO will Veto. ๐Ÿšซ Protestierende brรผllen โ€šFotzen Fritzโ€˜ auf Arabisch. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑโ€œ

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ก schรคumend):
โ€žFotzen Fritz? Pรถbel-Geschwรคtz! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? Lasst sie schreien! ๐Ÿ˜ค Taurus sichert Europa! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธโ€œ

STRUDEL (aufspringend, salutierend):
โ€žIch kann laufen! ๐Ÿง ร„h, feuern! ๐Ÿš€ Taurus ist automatisiert, unaufhaltsam! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”wie Chinesen sagen wรผrden, wรผrden sie nicht beide Seiten bewaffnen. ๐Ÿ‰โ€œ

VON SCHร–N (entsetzt):
โ€žAutomatisiert? Kein Rรผckruf? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! wird ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ Deutsche und Raketenโ€”Katastrophe! ๐Ÿ’ฅโ€œ

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ SELENSKIJ erscheint erschรถpft.

SELENSKIJ (auf Englisch):
โ€žFritz, wir brauchen Taurus, aber Russlands Weltuntergangsmaschineโ€ฆ Ein Geschossโ€”sayonara, Europa. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€โ€œ

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜“ schwitzend):
โ€žWeltuntergangsmaschine? Fiktion! ๐Ÿ“– Kramer, wir kรถnnen stoppen, oder?โ€œ

KRAMER (Zigarre kauend):
โ€žร„h, vielleicht โ€šF-O-Tโ€˜? โ€šF-R-Iโ€˜? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”sorry, lerne Japanisch. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ตโ€œ

โ˜ข๏ธ Chaos bricht aus. Strudels Arm salutiert wild. Von Schรถn raucht. Proteste: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!

MERZ (starrt auf Karte):
โ€žVielleicht liebe ich die Bombe. Soโ€ฆ deutsch. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ชโ€œ

๐Ÿš€ Eine Taurus-Rakete fliegt รผber die Ukraine, summt Walkรผrenritt. ๐ŸŽถ โ€žWeโ€™ll Meet Againโ€œ ertรถnt bei Explosionen. ๐Ÿ”ฅ Ein Berliner Protestschild: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผนุŸไธ!

FADE TO BLACK. ๐Ÿ–ค

๐Ÿ’ฌ Diese Satire รผberspitzt Merzโ€˜ Falkenpolitik zur Taurus-Rakete in eine schwarzhumorige Krise 2025. Alle Figuren und Ereignisse sind fiktionalisiert. ๐ŸŽญ

ืึธืงืขื™ โ€” ื“ืึธ ืื™ื– ื“ื™ ืคึผืึทืจืึธื“ื™ืข ืื™ื‘ืขืจื’ืขื–ืขืฆื˜ ืฆื• “jifdish” (ืึท ืกื˜ื™ืœื™ื–ื™ืจื˜ืข, ื”ืฒึทื ื˜ืฆืฒึทื˜ื™ืงืข, ื”ืขื›ืกื˜ึพืกืึทื˜ื™ืจื™ืฉืข ืื•ืŸ ืคึผืึธืคึผึพืงื•ืœื˜ื•ืจึพืคึฟืึทืจืฉืคึผื™ืœื˜ืข ืฒื“ื™ืฉ ืžื™ื˜ ืื™ื ื˜ืขืจื ืขื˜ึพืžืขืžืขืก, ื’ืขืœืขื›ื˜ืขืจึพืขืžืึธื•ื“ื–ืฉื™, ืื•ืŸ ืึท ืกืš ืึธืคึผื’ืขืฉืžื•ืขืกื˜ืข ื•ื•ืขืจื˜ืขืจ ืคื•ืŸ ืขื ื’ืœื™ืฉ, ืขื‘ืจื™ืช ืื•ืŸ ื’ืึทื ืฆืข ืžืขืฉื•ื’ืขื ืขืจื™ื™):


๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ ื“”ืจ ืžืขืจืฅ ืึธื“ืขืจ: ื•ื•ื™ ื›’ื”ืึธื‘ ื’ืขืœืขืจื ื˜ ืฆื• ืฉืžื•ืขืกืŸ ืžื™ื˜ืŸ ื˜ืึทื•ืจื•ืก ืื•ืŸ ื ื™ืฉื˜ ืงื™ื™ืŸ ื‘ืึธื‘ืงืขืก ื•ื•ืขื’ืŸ ื“ืขืจ ื‘ืึธืžื‘ืข ๐Ÿ’ฃ

ืื™ืŸ. ื‘ื•ื ื“ืขืกื˜ืึทื’’ืก WARึพืจื•ื – ื˜ืึธื’

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ ื‘ืขืจืœื™ืŸ 2025. ืกื˜ื™ื™ืœื™ืฉ ืฉื•ื•ืึทืจืฅึพื•ื•ื™ื™ืก ZoomึพืœืึธืงืึทืฉืŸ ืžื™ื˜ ืึทืŸ ืืคื“ืขื™ื˜ืขื“ ืจื™ืกืงื™ ืžืึทืคึผืข ืคึฟื•ืŸ ืื™ื™ืจืึธืคึผืข. ๐Ÿ”ด ืื™ื ืกื˜ืึทึพืคึผืจืึธื˜ืขืกื˜ืŸ ืื™ื ื“ืจื•ื™ืกืŸ ืงืขื’ืŸ ื˜ืึทื•ืจื•ืกึพืจืึทืงืขื˜ืขืก ืฆื•ื ื–ืขืœืŸืกืงื™ืœืึทื ื“. ๐Ÿš€ ืงืึทื ืฆืœืขืจ ืคึฟืจื™ื“ืจื™ืš “ืคึฟืึธื˜ืฆืขืŸ ืคึฟืจื™ืฅ” ืžืขืจืฅ โ€” ื•ื•ื™ื™ื ื™ืงืขืจ ื•ื•ื™ื ืกื˜ืึธืŸ ื˜ืฉืขืจื˜ืฉื™ืœ, ืžืขืจ ืจื™ืง ืžืึธืจื˜ื™ืข โ€” ืคึผืึธื–ื™ืจื˜ ืคึฟืึทืจ ืึท ืฆื™ืžืขืจ ืคึฟื•ืœ ืžื™ื˜ ืžื™ืœื™ื˜ืขืจึพื ืึทืจื™ืฉืงื™ื™ื˜. ๐Ÿช– ื’ื ืจืึทืœ ืงืจืึทืžืขืจ, ื“ื™ื™ึทื˜ืฉื™ืฉืขืจ ืžืึธื“ืขืœ ืคึฟื•ืŸ Call of Duty, ื˜ืึทื ืฆื˜ ืžื™ื˜ ืงืึธืœื™ืจื˜ืข ืคึผืจืึธื™ืขืงื˜ืŸ. ๐Ÿ“„ ื“”ืจ ืฉื˜ืจื•ื“ืขืœ, ืึท ื ืฒึทึพื’ืขื‘ืึทืงืขื ืขืจ ื‘ื•ื ื“ืขืกึพืžืึทื“ื ืขืกึพืžื“ืขื ืขืจ ืคึฟื•ืŸ ื“ื™ ืึทืœื˜ืข ื˜ืขื’. ๐Ÿงช Madame ืคึฟืึธืŸ ืฉืึธืŸ โ€” ืคืจืึทื ืฆื•ื™ื–ื™ืฉ ื“ื™ืคึผืœืึธืžืึทื˜ื™ืŸ ืื•ืŸ ืงื™ื™ื˜-ื•ื•ื™ื™ืคึผืขืจื™ืŸ. ๐Ÿšฌ ืขืœ ืกืงืจื™ืŸ: “Operation Taurus: Let’s GO!” โš ๏ธ

ืžืขืจืฅ (๐Ÿ˜ *ืฉืžื™ื™ื›ืœ + ืงืจืึทื•ื•ืึทื˜ืข ืจื™ื˜ืฉ-ืจื™ื˜ืฉ):
Meine Damen und Zoomers, ื“ื™ ื’ืขืฉื™ื›ื˜ืข ืจื•ืคื˜ ืื™ืŸ TikTokึพื˜ืึธื ืขืŸ! ื“ืขืจ ื˜ืึทื•ืจื•ืก ื•ื•ืขื˜ ืคึฟืึทืจื•ื•ืึทื ื“ืœืขืŸ ืคึผื•ื˜ื™ืŸ ืื™ืŸ ืึท ืžื™ืžืข. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Translation: โ€œืžื™ืจ ืฉื˜ื™ืžืขืŸ ืžื™ื˜ืŸ ื‘ืึธืžื‘ืขึพืœื™ื‘ืขึพืงืœื•ื‘!”)

ืคึฟืึธืŸ ืฉืึธืŸ (๐Ÿ˜ฑ ื•ื•ื™ืคื˜ ืื™ืจ ืงืœืึธื•ื˜ืฉ):
Nous aimons la bombe? ืžื”? ืื™ื– ื“ืึธืก ืึท Netflixึพืกืคึผืขืฆื™ืขืœ? ื“ื• ื‘ื™ืกื˜ ืึทืŸ ืึทื•ื•ืขืงื’ืขืฉืžื™ื˜ืŸ ืงื•ืžืึทื ื“ืขืจ ืื™ืŸ ืึท Fortniteึพืฉืœืขืคึผืงืข! โ™ ๏ธ

ืงืจืึทืžืขืจ (๐Ÿ‘Š ืคึผืึทื•ื ืฅ ื“ืขืจ ื˜ื™ืฉ ื•ื•ื™ ืื™ืŸ Counterstrike):
ยกAmamos la bomba! โ€” ืื•ืŸ ื˜ืึทืงืข ื™ืึธ! ืžื™ื˜ 500 ืง”ืž ืคึผืœื•ืก ืงืจืขืคืœึพืื™ื ื˜ืขืจืคึฟืึทืœ. ๐ŸŽฏ ืื™ื™ืŸ ืงืœื™ืง ืื•ืŸ ืžืึธืกืงื•ื•ืข ื’ื™ื˜ ืึท ืกื ืึทืง! ๐Ÿฅฃ

ืฉื˜ืจื•ื“ืขืœ (๐Ÿ˜œ ืœืึทื›ื˜ ื•ื•ื™ ืึท ื‘ืึธืก ืื™ืŸ ืึท Final Boss Cutscene):
Ja, ืžื™ื™ืŸ ื˜ืึทื•ืจื•ืก ืฉืคึผื™ืœื˜ Wagner ืื•ื™ืฃ ืกื•ืจืึทื•ื ื“ ืกื™ืกื˜ืขื ื‘ืฉืขืชืŸ BAM! Amiamo la bomba, ื•ื•ื™ ื“ื™ ืคึผื™ืฆืึทึพื‘ืจื™ื’ืึทื“ืข. ๐Ÿ• ๐ŸŽผ

ืื™ื•ื•ืึทื ืึธื•ื• (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ื›ืึทืงื™ึพื•ื•ื•ื“ืงืึทึพื•ื•ื™ื™ื‘ืก):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? ื“ืฒึทื˜ืฉืŸ ืฉืคึผื™ืœืŸ ืžื™ื˜ ื“ืขืจ ื‘ืขืจืŸ. โš ๏ธ ื–ื™ื™ ื•ื•ืขืœืŸ ืฉืœืึธืคึฟืŸ ืื•ื ื˜ืขืจ ื˜ืฉืขืจื ืึธื‘ื™ืœึพืœื™ื›ื˜ืœืขืš! โ˜ข๏ธ

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ ื”ืึทื ืก (ืื™ื ื˜ืขืจืŸ Zoomึพืงืื•ืœ, ืคืึทืจืคืจื•ื™ืจืŸ ืฉืฑืŸ ืคื™ื ืฃ ืžืึธืœ):
Herr Kanzler, ืคึผื•ื™ืœืŸ ืจื™ืคึผืึธืกื˜ืก ืžื™ื˜ โ€œKochamy bombฤ™โ€ ืื•ืŸ ืึท GIF ืคึฟื•ืŸ ืึท ืงืจื™ื™ืฆืฆื•ื’. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ Protestants ื˜ืฉืขื ื˜ืŸ โ€œFritz el Fotze!โ€ ืื™ืŸ ArabTikTok.

ืžืขืจืฅ (๐Ÿ˜ก ื›ืึทืคึผื˜ ืึท ื ืฒึทืข ืึทืจืึทื‘ื™ืฉึพืคึฟืจืึทื–ืข ืคึฟื•ืŸ Duolingo):
ืคึฟืึธื˜ืฆืขืŸ ืคึฟืจื™ืฅ?! ื•ื•ืึธืก ื‘ื™ืŸ ืื™ืš, ืึท Twitchึพืกื˜ืจื™ืžืขืจ? ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ ืฆื• ืื™ื™ืš ืึทืœืข! ๐Ÿ˜ค ื“ืขืจ ื˜ืึทื•ืจื•ืก ืื™ื– ืื™ื™ืจืึธืคึผืข’ืก ื ืฒึทืข ื“ื™ืœื“ืึธึพืฉื™ืœื“. ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ

ืฉื˜ืจื•ื“ืขืœ (ืฉืคึผืจื™ื ื’ื˜ ื•ื•ื™ Mario Kart ืื•ื™ืฃ ื•ื•ืึทืš):
ื›’ื‘ื™ืŸ ื’ืจื™ื™ื˜! ๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ ืœื•ืกืขืŸ ื“ืขืจ ืจืึทืงืขื˜! ๐Ÿš€ ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน! ื•ื•ื™ ื“ื™ ื›ื™ื ืขื–ืขืจ… ื•ื•ืขืœื›ืข, ืฆื•ื ื–ืึธื’ืขืŸ, ื–ืฒึทื ืขืŸ ืื•ื™ืฃ ื‘ื™ื™ื“ืข ื–ื™ื™ื˜ืŸ. ๐Ÿ‰

ืคึฟืึธืŸ ืฉืึธืŸ (ื“ืจื™ืงื˜ ืึธืฃ ื“ืขืจ ื•ื•ื™ื™ืคึผ):
ืื•ื™ื˜ืึธืžืึทื˜ื™ืฉ ืจืึทืงืขื˜ ืžื™ื˜ ืึทื™ืŸ ื•ื•ืขื’ ื˜ื™ืงืขื˜? โŒ ยกAdiรณs, monde! ๐ŸŒ ื“ืึธืก ืื™ื– ื ื™ื˜ ืงื™ื™ืŸ ื‘ื•ืœืขื˜ึพื˜ืจื™ื™ืŸ, ื“ืึธืก ืื™ื– ื“ืฒึทื˜ืฉืœืึทื ื“ ืื•ื™ืฃ LSD.

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ื–ืขืœืขื ืกืงื™ (ื“ืจืึธืฉืขื˜ ืื•ื™ืฃ Zoom, ืฉืžืขืงื ื“ื™ืง ื•ื•ื™ Red Bull):
ืคึฟืจื™ืฅ, ื’ื™ื‘ ืžื™ืจ ื“ืขื ื˜ืึทื•ืจื•ืก! ืึธื‘ืขืจ ื’ืขื“ืขื ืงื˜: ืจื•ืกืŸ ื”ืึธื‘ืŸ ื“ื™ โ€œื“ื™ืŸ-ื”ืึธื“ืŸ ืžืึทืฉื™ืŸโ€. ืื™ื™ืŸ BOOM ืื•ืŸ ืก’ืื™ื– sayonara, EU. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€

ืžืขืจืฅ (๐Ÿ˜“ ืกื•ื•ื™ื™ื˜ื™ื ื’ ื•ื•ื™ ืื™ืŸ Bundestagึพืคืœืึธืคึผ):
“ื“ื™ืŸ-ื”ืึธื“ืŸ ืžืึทืฉื™ืŸ”? ื•ื•ืึธืก ืื™ื– ื“ืึธืก, ืึท Tinderึพื‘ื™ืึธ? ๐Ÿ“– ืงืจืึทืžืขืจ, ืฉื™ืกืŸ ื™ืึธ ืึธื“ืขืจ ื ื™ื™ืŸ?

ืงืจืึทืžืขืจ (ื‘ืฒึทืกื˜ ืื•ื™ืฃ ืึท ืื™ื™ื’ืขื ืข ืฆื™ื’ืึทืจืขื˜ ืคึฟื•ืŸ D-Day):
ืขืโ€ฆ ืืคึฟืฉืจ โ€œF-O-Tโ€? ืึธื“ืขืจ “F-R-I”? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพ โ€” ืื™ืš ืœืขืจืŸ ื™ืึทืคึผืึทื ื™ืฉ ื‘ื™ื™ Duolingo. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต

โ˜ข๏ธ ื›ืึทืึธืก ืขื•ืœื”. Zoomึพืงืึธืœ ืงืจืืฉื˜. ื”ืขืœืคึฟืขืจืก ืฉืจืฒึทืขืŸ ืื™ืŸ Google Translateึพืฉืคึผืจืึทื›ืŸ. ืฉื˜ืจื•ื“ืขืœ ืฉืœืึธื’ืŸ ื“ื™ Naziึพืกืึทืœื•ื˜ ืื•ืŸ ื˜ืึทื ืฆืŸ K-pop. ืคึฟืึธืŸ ืฉืึธืŸ ืœื™ื™ื’ื˜ ืื•ื™ืก ืื™ืจ ื“ืจื™ื˜ืขืจ ืงื™ื™ื˜. ืคึผืจืึธื˜ืขืกื˜ืึทื ื˜ืŸ ื“ืจื™ื™ืขืŸ ืื•ื™ืคึฟืŸ Clubhouse: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ืœื!

ืžืขืจืฅ (ื“ืจื™ื™ืขืŸ ืื•ื™ืก ืื•ื™ืฃ ื“ืขืจ ืžืึทืคึผืข ื•ื•ื™ Dora the Exploder):
ืื•ื™ืš ื›’ืœื™ื‘ ื“ื™ ื‘ืึธืžื‘ืข. ื•ื•ื™ ืึท ื’ื•ื˜ืข ืฉืคึผืจื™ืฅ. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ ื˜ืึทื•ืจื•ืกึพืจืึทืงืขื˜ ืคึฟืœื™ื˜ ืื™ื‘ืขืจ ืื•ืงืจืึทื™ื ืข ื•ื•ื™ Harry Potter ืื•ื™ืฃ ืกื. ๐ŸŽถ “We’ll Meet Again” ืžื™ื˜ ืจืึทื•ื•ืขึพื•ื•ื™ื™ื‘ืก. ๐Ÿ”ฅ ืคึผืจืึธื˜ืขืกื˜ึพืคึผืœืึทืงืึทื˜ ืื™ืŸ ื‘ืขืจืœื™ืŸ: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ

FADE OUT. ๐Ÿ–ค


๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ WordPress ื˜ืึทื’ืก (jifdish edition):

#BombeLoversUnite, #MerzMadness, #SatireVibes, #ืกืึทื™ึพื˜ืึทื•ืจื•ืกึพื’ืขืคืขืœื˜, #DrStrangeGOP, #ืžื•ืœื˜ื™ืœื™ื ื’ื•ื•ืึพืคืึทืจืฉืคึผื™ืœ, #ืจืึทืงืขื˜ึพืฉืคึผื™ืœืขืจืฒึท, #ื˜ื™ืงื˜ืึทืงึพื’ืขืฉืขืขื ื™ืฉืŸ, #OMGื“ื™ื™ึทื˜ืฉืœืึทื ื“


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โœก๏ธ๐Ÿ•Š๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฃ


๐Ÿ˜œ


๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท Franรงais

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dr Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ ou : Comment j’ai appris ร  aimer le Taurus et la bombe ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€
EXCLUSIF sur berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท
INT. SALLE DE GUERRE DU BUNDESTAG – JOUR
๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ Berlin 2025. Salle รฉpurรฉe noir et blanc avec carte de lโ€™Europe rougeoyante. ๐Ÿ”ด Manifestations contre lโ€™envoi de missiles Taurus en Ukraine. ๐Ÿš€ Le CHANCELIER FRIEDRICH MERZ (surnommรฉ ยซ Fotzen Fritz ยป) prรฉside une table chaotique. ๐Ÿช– Le Gร‰Nร‰RAL KARL ยซ KREUZWIND ยป KRAMER serre des plans de missiles. ๐Ÿ“„ DR HEINRICH STRUDEL, ex-scientifique nazi, ricane. ๐Ÿงช Lโ€™AMBASSADRICE CLAIRE VON SCHร–N fume frรฉnรฉtiquement. ๐Ÿšฌ ร‰cran : ยซ Dร‰PLOIEMENT TAURUS AUTORISร‰ ยป. โš ๏ธ

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ souriant, ajustant sa cravate) :
ยซ Mesdames et messieurs, lโ€™histoire nous appelle ! Le Taurus enseignera Poutine. Wir lieben die Bombe ! ๐Ÿ’ฅ ยป

VON SCHร–N (๐Ÿ˜ฑ horrifiรฉe, en franรงais) :
ยซ Nous aimons la bombe ? Fritz, tu es un cow-boy sur une ogive ! Ce nโ€™est pas du poker ! โ™ ๏ธ ยป

KRAMER (๐Ÿ‘Š frappant la table) :
ยซ ยกAmamos la bomba !โ€”euh, wir lieben die Bombe ! Taurus : 500 km, prรฉcision absolue ! ๐ŸŽฏ Un tirโ€”les gรฉnรฉraux moscovites mangent leur bortsch dans les bunkers ! ๐Ÿฅฃ ยป

STRUDEL (๐Ÿ˜œ ricanant) :
ยซ Ja, mon Taurus chante la Chevauchรฉe des Walkyries ร  lโ€™impact ! Amiamo la bomba, comme disent les Italiens. ๐ŸŽผ Une ogive wagnรฉrienne ! ยป

AMBASSADEUR IVANOV (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ par vidรฉo, furieux) :
ยซ ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ ? Vous provoquez lโ€™ours ๐Ÿปโ€”Berlin brillera comme Tchernobyl ! โ˜ข๏ธ ยป

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ Lโ€™assistant HANS tremble.

HANS :
ยซ Herr Kanzler, la Pologne crie au Kochamy bombฤ™. ๐Ÿคฏ Lโ€™OTAN veut un veto. ๐Ÿšซ Les manifestants scandent โ€œFotzen Fritzโ€ en arabe. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ ยป

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ก รฉcumant) :
ยซ Fotzen Fritz ? Insanitรฉs ! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? Quโ€™ils crient ! ๐Ÿ˜ค Le Taurus sรฉcurise lโ€™Europe ! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ ยป

STRUDEL (sautant, saluant) :
ยซ Je peux marcher ! ๐Ÿง Lancer ! ๐Ÿš€ Taurus est automatisรฉ, imparable ! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน !โ€”comme diraient les Chinois sโ€™ils nโ€™armaient pas les deux camps. ๐Ÿ‰ ยป

VON SCHร–N (terrifiรฉe) :
ยซ Automatisรฉ ? Pas de rappel ? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! devient ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ Allemands et missilesโ€”catastrophe ! ๐Ÿ’ฅ ยป

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ZELENSKY apparaรฎt รฉpuisรฉ.

ZELENSKY (en anglais) :
ยซ Fritz, il nous faut Taurus, mais la machine apocalyptique russeโ€ฆ Un missileโ€”sayonara, Europe. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€ ยป

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜“ transpirant) :
ยซ Machine apocalyptique ? Fiction ! ๐Ÿ“– Kramer, on peut arrรชter les missiles ? ยป

KRAMER (mรขchant un cigare) :
ยซ Euh, peut-รชtre โ€œF-O-Tโ€ ? โ€œF-R-Iโ€ ? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”dรฉsolรฉ, jโ€™apprends le japonais. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต ยป

โ˜ข๏ธ Chaos total. Strudel salue frรฉnรฉtiquement. Manifestants : ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!

MERZ (murmure, fixant la carte) :
ยซ Peut-รชtre que jโ€™aime la bombe. Tellementโ€ฆ allemand. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ยป

๐Ÿš€ Un Taurus vole vers lโ€™Ukraine, bourdonnant la Walkyrie. ๐ŸŽถ ยซ Weโ€™ll Meet Again ยป joue pendant les explosions. ๐Ÿ”ฅ Pancarte ร  Berlin : ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผนุŸไธ!

FONDU AU NOIR. ๐Ÿ–ค

๐Ÿ’ฌ Cette satire exagรจre la politique pro-missiles de Merz en une crise dystopique, avec un chaos multilingue reflรฉtant la dรฉsunion europรฉenne. Personnages et รฉvรฉnements sont fictionnels. ๐ŸŽญ


๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น Italiano

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Dott. Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ ovvero: Come ho imparato ad amare il Taurus e la bomba ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€
ESCLUSIVA su berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น
(Due to character limits, full translations for remaining languages are available at berndpulch.org | Mirror: berndpulch.wordpress.com)

  1. Preserved Elements:
  • Original emojis and dramatic formatting
  • Multilingual “We love the bomb” phrases
  • Character quirks (Strudel’s salute, Kramer’s cigar)
  1. Cultural Adaptations:
  • Merz’s “Fotzen Fritz” nickname retained in all versions

Universal Disclaimer:
This political satire exaggerates real debates about Taurus missiles for comedic effect. No actual politicians were harmed in the making. All rights reserved to BerndPulch.org. ๐ŸŽญ๐ŸŒ

๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ

โœŒ


๐ŸŽฏ Dr. Merz o: Cรณmo aprendรญ a dejar de preocuparme y amar el Taurus ๐Ÿ’ฃ

INT. SALA DE GUERRA DEL BUNDESTAG – DรA

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ Berlรญn, 2025. Una cรกmara elegante en blanco y negro con un mapa digital de Europa pulsando en rojo. ๐Ÿ”ด Protestas estallan afuera por los envรญos de misiles Taurus de Alemania a Ucrania, listos para atacar Rusia. ๐Ÿš€ El CANCILLER FRIEDRICH MERZ, apodado “Fotzen Fritz” por sus detractores por su bravuconerรญa, preside una mesa caรณtica de burรณcratas, generales y diplomรกticos. ๐Ÿช– El GENERAL KARL “KREUZWIND” KRAMER, un fanรกtico de la Bundeswehr, agarra planos de misiles. ๐Ÿ“„ El DR. HEINRICH STRUDEL, un excientรญfico nazi convertido en consultor de armas, rรญe manรญacamente. ๐Ÿงช La EMBAJADORA CLAIRE VON SCHร–N, francesa y exasperada, fuma sin parar. ๐Ÿšฌ La pantalla anuncia: “DESPLIEGUE DEL TAURUS AUTORIZADO”. โš ๏ธ

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ sonriendo, ajustando la corbata):
Meine Damen und Herren, ยกla historia nos llama! El Taurus enseรฑarรก a Putin una lecciรณn. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Alemรกn: “ยกAmamos la bomba!”)

VON SCHร–N (๐Ÿ˜ฑ en francรฉs, horrorizada):
Nous aimons la bombe? ยกFritz, eres un vaquero montando un misil! ยกEsto no es pรณker! โ™ ๏ธ
(Francรฉs: “ยฟAmamos la bomba?”)

KRAMER (๐Ÿ‘Š golpeando el puรฑo):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”eh, wir lieben die Bombe! Taurus: 500 km, precisiรณn milimรฉtrica! ๐ŸŽฏ ยกUn impacto y los generales de Moscรบ comerรกn borscht en bรบnkers! ๐Ÿฅฃ
(Espaรฑol: “ยกAmamos la bomba!”)

STRUDEL (๐Ÿ˜œ riendo, convulsionando):
Ja, ยกmi Taurus canta La cabalgata de las valquirias al impactar! Amiamo la bomba, como dicen los italianos. ๐ŸŽผ ยกUna ojiva wagneriana!
(Italiano: “ยกAmamos la bomba!”)

EMBAJADOR IVANOV (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ en ruso, furioso):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? ยกUstedes alemanes provocan al oso ๐Ÿป y Berlรญn brillarรก como Chernรณbil! โ˜ข๏ธ
(Ruso: “ยฟAmamos la bomba?”)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ HANS (ayudante, temblando, levanta la mano):
Herr Kanzler, Polonia llama a esto locura Kochamy bombฤ™. ๐Ÿคฏ La OTAN quiere vetarlo. ๐Ÿšซ Ademรกs, los manifestantes gritan “Fotzen Fritz” en รกrabe. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(Polaco: “ยกAmamos la bomba!”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ก echando humo):
ยฟFotzen Fritz? ยกCalumnia de campesinos! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? ยกQue griten! ๐Ÿ˜ค ยกEl Taurus protege Europa! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(รrabe: “ยฟAmor a la bomba?”)

STRUDEL (saltando, saludando):
ยกPuedo caminar! ๐Ÿง ยกQuiero decir, lanzar! ๐Ÿš€ ยกEl Taurus es automรกtico, imparable! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”como dirรญan los chinos, si no estuvieran armando a ambos bandos. ๐Ÿ‰
(Chino: “ยกAmo la bomba!”)

VON SCHร–N (horrorizada):
ยฟAutomรกtico? ยฟSin cancelaciรณn? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! se convierte en ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ ยกAlemanes y cohetesโ€”desastre! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Espaรฑol: “ยกAdiรณs, mundo!”)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ZELENSKYY (aparece en pantalla, exhausto):
Fritz, necesitamos el Taurus, pero los rumores de la Mรกquina del Juicio Final de Rusiaโ€ฆ Un misil, sayonara, Europa. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(Japonรฉs: “Adiรณs”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜“ sudando):
ยฟMรกquina del Juicio Final? ยกFicciรณn! ๐Ÿ“– Kramer, podemos detener los misiles, ยฟverdad?

KRAMER (masticando un cigarro):
Eh, ยฟquizรกs “F-O-T”? ยฟ”F-R-I”? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”perdรณn, estoy aprendiendo japonรฉs. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(Japonรฉs: “ยกAmo la bomba!”)

โ˜ข๏ธ Estalla el caos. Aides gritan en seis idiomas. El brazo de Strudel saluda frenรฉticamente. Von Schรถn enciende otro cigarrillo. Manifestantes corean: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(รrabe: “ยฟAmor a la bomba? ยกNo!”)

MERZ (murmurando, mirando el mapa):
Quizรกs sรญ amo la bomba. Tanโ€ฆ alemรกn. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ Un misil Taurus surca Ucrania, tarareando La cabalgata de las valquirias. ๐ŸŽถ Suena “Weโ€™ll Meet Again” mientras estallan explosiones. ๐Ÿ”ฅ Un cartel de un manifestante en Berlรญn dice: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(Chino: “ยฟAmo la bomba? ยกNo!”)

FUNDIDO A NEGRO. ๐Ÿ–ค


๐Ÿ’ฌ Nota contextual:
Esta sรกtira, inspirada en ยฟTelรฉfono rojo? Volamos hacia Moscรบ, exagera el belicismo de Merz y el debate sobre los misiles Taurus en una crisis cรณmico-oscura de 2025. El caos multilingรผe refleja la desuniรณn europea. Todos los personajes y eventos son ficticios. ๐ŸŽญ

โœŒ

๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น
๐ŸŽฏ Dr. Merz ou: Como Aprendi a Parar de Me Preocupar e Amar o Taurus ๐Ÿ’ฃ

INT. SALA DE GUERRA DO BUNDESTAG – DIA

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ Berlim, 2025. Uma sala elegante em preto e branco com um mapa digital da Europa pulsando em vermelho. ๐Ÿ”ด Protestos irrompem lรก fora contra o envio de mรญsseis Taurus da Alemanha para a Ucrรขnia, prontos para atacar a Rรบssia. ๐Ÿš€ O CHANCELER FRIEDRICH MERZ, apelidado de “Fotzen Fritz” por detratores por sua bravata belicosa, preside uma mesa caรณtica de burocratas, generais e diplomatas. ๐Ÿช– O GENERAL KARL “KREUZWIND” KRAMER, um fanรกtico da Bundeswehr, segura planos de mรญsseis. ๐Ÿ“„ O DR. HEINRICH STRUDEL, ex-cientista nazista virou consultor de armas, ri de forma manรญaca. ๐Ÿงช A EMBAIXADORA CLAIRE VON SCHร–N, francesa e exasperada, fuma sem parar. ๐Ÿšฌ A tela anuncia: “DEPLOYMENT DO TAURUS AUTORIZADO”. โš ๏ธ

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ sorrindo, ajustando a gravata):
Meine Damen und Herren, a histรณria nos chama! O Taurus ensinarรก uma liรงรฃo a Putin. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Alemรฃo: “Nรณs amamos a bomba!”)

VON SCHร–N (๐Ÿ˜ฑ em francรชs, horrorizada):
Nous aimons la bombe? Fritz, vocรช รฉ um cowboy montado num mรญssil! Isto nรฃo รฉ pรดquer! โ™ ๏ธ
(Francรชs: “Nรณs amamos a bomba?”)

KRAMER (๐Ÿ‘Š batendo o punho):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”ah, wir lieben die Bombe! Taurus: 500 km, precisรฃo milimรฉtrica! ๐ŸŽฏ Um acerto e os generais de Moscou comerรฃo borscht em bunkers! ๐Ÿฅฃ
(Espanhol: “Nรณs amamos a bomba!”)

STRUDEL (๐Ÿ˜œ rindo, se contorcendo):
Ja, meu Taurus canta Cavalgada das Valquรญrias no impacto! Amiamo la bomba, como dizem os italianos. ๐ŸŽผ Uma ogiva wagneriana!
(Italiano: “Nรณs amamos a bomba!”)

EMBAIXADOR IVANOV (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ em russo, furioso):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? Vocรชs alemรฃes cutucam o urso ๐Ÿป e Berlim brilharรก como Chernobyl! โ˜ข๏ธ
(Russo: “Nรณs amamos a bomba?”)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ HANS (ajudante, tremendo, levanta a mรฃo):
Herr Kanzler, a Polรดnia chama isso de loucura Kochamy bombฤ™. ๐Ÿคฏ A OTAN quer um veto. ๐Ÿšซ Alรฉm disso, manifestantes gritam “Fotzen Fritz” em รกrabe. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(Polonรชs: “Nรณs amamos a bomba!”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ก fumegando):
Fotzen Fritz? Calรบnia de camponรชs! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? Deixem que gritem! ๐Ÿ˜ค O Taurus protege a Europa! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(รrabe: “Amor ร  bomba?”)

STRUDEL (pulando, saudando):
Eu posso andar! ๐Ÿง Quero dizer, lanรงar! ๐Ÿš€ O Taurus รฉ automรกtico, imparรกvel! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”como diriam os chineses, se nรฃo estivessem armando ambos os lados. ๐Ÿ‰
(Chinรชs: “Eu amo a bomba!”)

VON SCHร–N (horrorizada):
Automรกtico? Sem cancelamento? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! vira ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ Alemรฃes e foguetesโ€”desastre! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Espanhol: “Adeus, mundo!”)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ZELENSKYY (aparece na tela, exausto):
Fritz, precisamos do Taurus, mas os rumores da Mรกquina do Juรญzo Final da Rรบssiaโ€ฆ Um mรญssil, sayonara, Europa. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(Japonรชs: “Adeus”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜“ suando):
Mรกquina do Juรญzo Final? Ficรงรฃo! ๐Ÿ“– Kramer, podemos parar os mรญsseis, certo?

KRAMER (mastigando charuto):
Uh, talvez “F-O-T”? “F-R-I”? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”desculpe, estou aprendendo japonรชs. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(Japonรชs: “Eu amo a bomba!”)

โ˜ข๏ธ O caos explode. Ajudantes gritam em seis idiomas. O braรงo de Strudel saรบda descontroladamente. Von Schรถn acende outro cigarro. Manifestantes cantam: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(รrabe: “Amor ร  bomba? Nรฃo!”)

MERZ (murmurando, olhando o mapa):
Talvez eu realmente ame a bomba. Tรฃoโ€ฆ alemรฃo. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ Um mรญssil Taurus cruza a Ucrรขnia, zumbindo Cavalgada das Valquรญrias. ๐ŸŽถ “Weโ€™ll Meet Again” toca enquanto explosรตes florescem. ๐Ÿ”ฅ Um cartaz de manifestante em Berlim diz: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(Chinรชs: “Eu amo a bomba? Nรฃo!”)

DESVANE-SE PARA PRETO. ๐Ÿ–ค

๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ
๐ŸŽฏ Dr. Merz of: Hoe ik leerde stoppen met piekeren en van de Taurus te houden ๐Ÿ’ฃ

INT. BUNDESTAG OORLOGSKAMER – DAG

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ Berlijn, 2025. Een stijlvolle zwart-witte ruimte met een pulserende digitale kaart van Europa in rood. ๐Ÿ”ด Protesten buiten over Duitslands Taurus-raketzendingen naar Oekraรฏne, gericht op Rusland. ๐Ÿš€ KANSELIER FRIEDRICH MERZ, door tegenstanders “Fotzen Fritz” genoemd vanwege zijn oorlogszucht, leidt een chaotische tafel met bureaucraten, generaals en diplomaten. ๐Ÿช– GENERAAL KARL “KREUZWIND” KRAMER, een Bundeswehr-fanaticus, klemt raketplannen vast. ๐Ÿ“„ DR. HEINRICH STRUDEL, een ex-nazi-wetenschapper nu wapenconsultant, grinnikt manisch. ๐Ÿงช AMBASSADEUR CLAIRE VON SCHร–N, Frans en geรฏrriteerd, rookt onafgebroken. ๐Ÿšฌ Het scherm flitst: “TAURUS-INZET GOEDGEKEURD”. โš ๏ธ

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ grijnst, stropdas rechtend):
Meine Damen und Herren, de geschiedenis roept! De Taurus zal Poetin een lesje leren. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Duits: “Wij houden van de bom!”)

VON SCHร–N (๐Ÿ˜ฑ in het Frans, ontzet):
Nous aimons la bombe? Fritz, je bent een cowboy op een kernkop! Dit is geen poker! โ™ ๏ธ
(Frans: “Houden wij van de bom?”)

KRAMER (๐Ÿ‘Š vuist slaand):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”eh, wir lieben die Bombe! Taurus: 500 km, precisie! ๐ŸŽฏ Eรฉn treffer en Moskous generaals eten borsjt in bunkers! ๐Ÿฅฃ
(Spaans: “Wij houden van de bom!”)

STRUDEL (๐Ÿ˜œ giechelend, trillend):
Ja, mรญjn Taurus speelt Walkรผrenritt bij impact! Amiamo la bomba, zoals Italianen zeggen. ๐ŸŽผ Een Wagner-strijdkop!
(Italiaans: “Wij houden van de bom!”)

AMBASSADEUR IVANOV (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ Russisch, woedend):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? Jullie Duitsers porren de beer ๐Ÿป, Berlijn gloeit als Tsjernobyl! โ˜ข๏ธ
(Russisch: “Houden wij van de bom?”)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ HANS (assistent, trilt, steekt hand op):
Herr Kanzler, Polen noemt dit Kochamy bombฤ™-waanzin. ๐Ÿคฏ NAVO eist veto. ๐Ÿšซ Protesteerders schreeuwen “Fotzen Fritz” in het Arabisch. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(Pools: “Wij houden van de bom!”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ก slooft):
Fotzen Fritz? Boerenlaster! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? Laat ze schreeuwen! ๐Ÿ˜ค Taurus beveiligt Europa! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(Arabisch: “Houden van de bom?”)

STRUDEL (springt op, groetend):
Ik kan lopen! ๐Ÿง Ik bedoel, lanceren! ๐Ÿš€ Taurus is geautomatiseerd, onstopbaar! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”zoals Chinezen zouden zeggen, als ze niet beide kanten bewapenden. ๐Ÿ‰
(Chinees: “Ik houd van de bom!”)

VON SCHร–N (ontzet):
Geautomatiseerd? Geen terugroepactie? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! wordt ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ Duitsers en rakettenโ€”ramp! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Spaans: “Vaarwel wereld!”)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ZELENSKYY (verschijnt op scherm, uitgeput):
Fritz, we hebben Taurus nodig, maar geruchten over Russisch Doomsday-apparaatโ€ฆ Eรฉn raket, sayonara, Europa. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(Japans: “Vaarwel”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜“ zweetdruppels):
Doomsday-apparaat? Fictie! ๐Ÿ“– Kramer, we kunnen raketten stoppen, ja?

KRAMER (kauwt op sigaar):
Uh, misschien “F-O-T”? “F-R-I”? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”sorry, leer Japans. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(Japans: “Ik houd van de bom!”)

โ˜ข๏ธ Chaos barst los. Assistenten schreeuwen in zes talen. Strudels arm groet wild. Von Schรถn steekt nieuwe sigaret op. Protesteerders scanderen: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(Arabisch: “Houden van de bom? Nee!”)

MERZ (mompelt, staart naar kaart):
Misschien houd ik wรฉl van de bom. Zoโ€ฆ Duits. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ Een Taurus-raket suist over Oekraรฏne, zoemend Walkรผrenritt. ๐ŸŽถ “Weโ€™ll Meet Again” speelt tijdens ontploffingen. ๐Ÿ”ฅ Protestbord in Berlijn: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(Chinees: “Ik houd van de bom? Nee!”)

VERVAAG NAAR ZWART. ๐Ÿ–ค

๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
๐ŸŽฏ Dr Merz czyli: Jak przestaล‚em siฤ™ martwiฤ‡ i pokochaล‚em Taurusa ๐Ÿ’ฃ

INT. BUNDESTAG – SALA WOJENNA – DZIEลƒ

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ Berlin, 2025. Eleganckie czarno-biaล‚e pomieszczenie z pulsujฤ…cฤ… czerwonฤ… mapฤ… Europy. ๐Ÿ”ด Protesty na zewnฤ…trz przeciw niemieckim dostawom rakiet Taurus do Ukrainy, gotowych uderzyฤ‡ w Rosjฤ™. ๐Ÿš€ KANCLERZ FRIEDRICH MERZ, przezywany “Fotzen Fritz” za militarystycznฤ… brawurฤ™, przewodzi chaotycznemu stoล‚owi biurokratรณw, generaล‚รณw i dyplomatรณw. ๐Ÿช– GENERAล KARL “KREUZWIND” KRAMER, fanatyk Bundeswehry, ล›ciska plany rakietowe. ๐Ÿ“„ DR HEINRICH STRUDEL, byล‚y nazistowski naukowiec, teraz doradca zbrojeniowy, chichocze jak szaleniec. ๐Ÿงช AMBASADOR CLAIRE VON SCHร–N, Francuzka w rozsypce, pali jednego papierosa za drugim. ๐Ÿšฌ Na ekranie miga: “WDROลปENIE TAURUSA ZATWIERDZONE”. โš ๏ธ

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ uล›miechajฤ…c siฤ™, poprawiajฤ…c krawat):
Meine Damen und Herren, historia woล‚a! Taurus nauczy Putina lekcji. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Niemiecki: “Kochamy bombฤ™!”)

VON SCHร–N (๐Ÿ˜ฑ po francusku, przeraลผona):
Nous aimons la bombe? Fritz, jesteล› kowbojem na gล‚owicy! To nie poker! โ™ ๏ธ
(Francuski: “Kochamy bombฤ™?”)

KRAMER (๐Ÿ‘Š uderzajฤ…c piฤ™ล›ciฤ…):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”ehm, wir lieben die Bombe! Taurus: 500 km, precyzja laserowa! ๐ŸŽฏ Jeden strzaล‚ i moskiewscy generaล‚owie bฤ™dฤ… jadล‚y barszcz w bunkrach! ๐Ÿฅฃ
(Hiszpaล„ski: “Kochamy bombฤ™!”)

STRUDEL (๐Ÿ˜œ chichoczฤ…c, drgajฤ…c):
Ja, mรณj Taurus gra Lot Walkirii przy uderzeniu! Amiamo la bomba, jak mรณwiฤ… Wล‚osi. ๐ŸŽผ Gล‚owica wagnerowska!
(Wล‚oski: “Kochamy bombฤ™!”)

AMBASADOR IVANOV (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ po rosyjsku, wล›ciekล‚y):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? Niemieckie draลผnienie niedลบwiedzia ๐Ÿป skoล„czy siฤ™ berliล„skim Czarnobylem! โ˜ข๏ธ
(Rosyjski: “Kochamy bombฤ™?”)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ HANS (asystent, drลผฤ…cy, podnosi rฤ™kฤ™):
Herr Kanzler, Polska nazywa to szaleล„stwem Kochamy bombฤ™. ๐Ÿคฏ NATO chce weta. ๐Ÿšซ Protestujฤ…cy krzyczฤ… “Fotzen Fritz” po arabsku. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(Polski: “Kochamy bombฤ™!”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ก wล›ciekล‚y):
Fotzen Fritz? Chล‚opska potwarz! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? Niech krzyczฤ…! ๐Ÿ˜ค Taurus zabezpiecza Europฤ™! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(Arabski: “Miล‚oล›ฤ‡ do bomby?”)

STRUDEL (podskakujฤ…c, salutujฤ…c):
Umiem chodziฤ‡! ๐Ÿง To znaczy: wystrzeliฤ‡! ๐Ÿš€ Taurus jest zautomatyzowany, niepowstrzymany! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”jak powiedzieliby Chiล„czycy, gdyby nie uzbrajali obu stron. ๐Ÿ‰
(Chiล„ski: “Kocham bombฤ™!”)

VON SCHร–N (przeraลผona):
Zautomatyzowany? Bez opcji wycofania? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! zmienia siฤ™ w ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ Niemcy i rakietyโ€”katastrofa! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Hiszpaล„ski: “ลปegnaj ล›wiecie!”)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ZELENSKYY (pojawia siฤ™ na ekranie, wyczerpany):
Fritz, potrzebujemy Taurusa, ale plotki o rosyjskiej Maszynie Zagล‚adyโ€ฆ Jeden pocisk, sayonara, Europo. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(Japoล„ski: “ลปegnaj”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜“ pocฤ…c siฤ™):
Maszyna Zagล‚ady? Fikcja! ๐Ÿ“– Kramer, moลผemy zatrzymaฤ‡ rakiety, prawda?

KRAMER (ลผujฤ…c cygaro):
Eee, moลผe “F-O-T”? “F-R-I”? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”przepraszam, uczฤ™ siฤ™ japoล„skiego. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(Japoล„ski: “Kocham bombฤ™!”)

โ˜ข๏ธ Wybucha chaos. Asystenci krzyczฤ… w szeล›ciu jฤ™zykach. Rฤ™ka Strudela szaleล„czo salutuje. Von Schรถn zapala kolejnego papierosa. Protestujฤ…cy skandujฤ…: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(Arabski: “Miล‚oล›ฤ‡ do bomby? Nie!”)

MERZ (mruczฤ…c, wpatrzony w mapฤ™):
Moลผe jednak kocham bombฤ™. Takโ€ฆ po niemiecku. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ Pocisk Taurus mknie nad Ukrainฤ…, nucฤ…c Lot Walkirii. ๐ŸŽถ “Weโ€™ll Meet Again” rozbrzmiewa przy wybuchach. ๐Ÿ”ฅ Transparent protestujฤ…cego w Berlinie: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(Chiล„ski: “Kocham bombฤ™? Nie!”)

CIEMNOลšฤ†. ๐Ÿ–ค

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช
๐ŸŽฏ Dr. Merz eller: Hur jag lรคrde mig รคlska Taurus och sluta oroa mig fรถr bomben ๐Ÿ’ฃ

INT. BUNDESTAGS KRIGSRUM – DAG

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ Berlin, 2025. Ett elegant svartvitt rum med en pulserande digital karta รถver Europa i rรถtt. ๐Ÿ”ด Protester utanfรถr รถver Tysklands Taurus-robotleveranser till Ukraina, riktade mot Ryssland. ๐Ÿš€ KANSLER FRIEDRICH MERZ, รถkรคnd som “Fotzen Fritz” fรถr sin krigshets, leder ett kaotiskt mรถte med byrรฅkrater, generaler och diplomater. ๐Ÿช– GENERAL KARL “KREUZWIND” KRAMER, en Bundeswehr-fanatiker, kramar robotdiagram. ๐Ÿ“„ DR. HEINRICH STRUDEL, fd-nazistforskare nu vapenkonsult, fnissar maniskt. ๐Ÿงช AMBASSADร–R CLAIRE VON SCHร–N, fransk och frustrerad, kedjerรถker. ๐Ÿšฌ Skรคrmen blรคnker: “TAURUS-DEPLOYMENT GODKร„NT”. โš ๏ธ

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ flinar, justerar slips):
Meine Damen und Herren, historien kallar! Taurus ska lรคra Putin en lรคxa. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Tyska: “Vi รคlskar bomben!”)

VON SCHร–N (๐Ÿ˜ฑ pรฅ franska, fรถrfรคrad):
Nous aimons la bombe? Fritz, du รคr en cowboy pรฅ en stridsspets! Det hรคr รคr ingen poker! โ™ ๏ธ
(Franska: “ร„lskar vi bomben?”)

KRAMER (๐Ÿ‘Š slรฅr nรคven):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”รถh, wir lieben die Bombe! Taurus: 500 km, precisionsrik! ๐ŸŽฏ Ett skott och Moskvas generaler รคter borsjtj i bunkrar! ๐Ÿฅฃ
(Spanska: “Vi รคlskar bomben!”)

STRUDEL (๐Ÿ˜œ fnittrar, rycker):
Ja, min Taurus spelar Walkรผrenritt vid nedslag! Amiamo la bomba, som italienarna sรคger. ๐ŸŽผ En wagneriansk stridsspets!
(Italienska: “Vi รคlskar bomben!”)

AMBASSADร–R IVANOV (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ pรฅ ryska, rasande):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? Ni tyskar retar bjรถrnen ๐Ÿป, Berlin kommer lysa som Tjernobyl! โ˜ข๏ธ
(Ryska: “ร„lskar vi bomben?”)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ HANS (assistent, darrar, rรคcker handen):
Herr Kanzler, Polen kallar detta Kochamy bombฤ™-vansinne. ๐Ÿคฏ NATO krรคver veto. ๐Ÿšซ Demonstranter skriker “Fotzen Fritz” pรฅ arabiska. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(Polska: “Vi รคlskar bomben!”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ก frรคser):
Fotzen Fritz? Bondfรถrakt! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? Lรฅt dem skrika! ๐Ÿ˜ค Taurus skyddar Europa! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(Arabiska: “Kรคrlek till bomben?”)

STRUDEL (hoppar, gรถr honnรถr):
Jag kan gรฅ! ๐Ÿง Jag menar, avfyra! ๐Ÿš€ Taurus รคr automatiserad, ostoppbar! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”som kineserna skulle sรคga, om de inte bevรคpnade bรฅda sidor. ๐Ÿ‰
(Kinesiska: “Jag รคlskar bomben!”)

VON SCHร–N (fรถrskrรคckt):
Automatiserad? Ingen รฅterkallelse? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! blir ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ Tyskar och raketerโ€”katastrof! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Spanska: “Adjรถ vรคrlden!”)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ZELENSKYY (dyker upp pรฅ skรคrm, utmattad):
Fritz, vi behรถver Taurus, men rykten om Rysslands Domedagsmaskinโ€ฆ En robot, sayonara, Europa. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(Japanska: “Adjรถ”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜“ svettas):
Domedagsmaskin? Fiktion! ๐Ÿ“– Kramer, vi kan stoppa robotarna, eller hur?

KRAMER (tuggar cigarill):
ร–h, kanske “F-O-T”? “F-R-I”? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”fรถrlรฅt, lรคr mig japanska. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(Japanska: “Jag รคlskar bomben!”)

โ˜ข๏ธ Kaos utbryter. Assistenterna skriker pรฅ sex sprรฅk. Strudels arm gรถr vild honnรถr. Von Schรถn tรคnder ny cigarett. Demonstranter skanderar: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(Arabiska: “Kรคrlek till bomben? Nej!”)

MERZ (mumlar, stirrar pรฅ kartan):
Kanske jag verkligen รคlskar bomben. Sรฅโ€ฆ tyskt. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ En Taurus-robot far รถver Ukraina, nynnar Walkรผrenritt. ๐ŸŽถ “Weโ€™ll Meet Again” spelar vid explosioner. ๐Ÿ”ฅ Demonstrantplakat i Berlin: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(Kinesiska: “Jag รคlskar bomben? Nej!”)

SVART BILD. ๐Ÿ–ค

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท
๐ŸŽฏ ฮ”ฯ. ฮœฮตฯฯ„ฯ‚ ฮฎ: ฮ ฯŽฯ‚ ฮญฮผฮฑฮธฮฑ ฮฝฮฑ ฮฑฮณฮฑฯ€ฯŽ ฯ„ฮฟฮฝ ฮคฮฑฯฯฮฟ ฮบฮฑฮน ฮฝฮฑ ฯƒฯ„ฮฑฮผฮฑฯ„ฮฎฯƒฯ‰ ฮฝฮฑ ฮฑฮฝฮทฯƒฯ…ฯ‡ฯŽ ฮณฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฮท ฮฒฯŒฮผฮฒฮฑ ๐Ÿ’ฃ

ฮ•ฮฃฮฉ. ฮ‘ฮ™ฮ˜ฮŸฮฅฮฃฮ‘ ฮ ฮŸฮ›ฮ•ฮœฮŸฮฅ ฮœฮ ฮŸฮฅฮฮคฮ•ฮฃฮคฮ‘ฮ“ฮš – ฮ—ฮœฮ•ฮกฮ‘

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ ฮ’ฮตฯฮฟฮปฮฏฮฝฮฟ, 2025. ฮˆฮฝฮฑ ฮบฮฟฮผฯˆฯŒ ฮฑฯƒฯ€ฯฯŒฮผฮฑฯ…ฯฮฟ ฮดฯ‰ฮผฮฌฯ„ฮนฮฟ ฮผฮต ฯˆฮทฯ†ฮนฮฑฮบฯŒ ฯ‡ฮฌฯฯ„ฮท ฮ•ฯ…ฯฯŽฯ€ฮทฯ‚ ฯ€ฮฟฯ… ฯ€ฮฑฮปฮปฯŒฮผฮตฮฝฮตฯ‚ ฮบฯŒฮบฮบฮนฮฝฮตฯ‚. ๐Ÿ”ด ฮ”ฮนฮฑฮดฮทฮปฯŽฯƒฮตฮนฯ‚ ฮญฮพฯ‰ ฮณฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฮนฯ‚ ฮณฮตฯฮผฮฑฮฝฮนฮบฮญฯ‚ ฮฑฯ€ฮฟฯƒฯ„ฮฟฮปฮญฯ‚ ฯ€ฯ…ฯฮฑฯฮปฯ‰ฮฝ Taurus ฯƒฯ„ฮทฮฝ ฮŸฯ…ฮบฯฮฑฮฝฮฏฮฑ, ฮญฯ„ฮฟฮนฮผฮฟฯ…ฯ‚ ฮฝฮฑ ฯ‡ฯ„ฯ…ฯ€ฮฎฯƒฮฟฯ…ฮฝ ฯ„ฮท ฮกฯ‰ฯƒฮฏฮฑ. ๐Ÿš€ ฮšฮ‘ฮฮ“ฮšฮ•ฮ›ฮ‘ฮกฮ™ฮŸฮฃ ฮฆฮกฮ™ฮฮคฮกฮ™ฮง ฮœฮ•ฮกฮคฮฃ, ฮผฮต ฯ€ฮฑฯฯ‰ฮฝฯฮผฮนฮฟ “Fotzen Fritz” ฮณฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟ ฮผฮฑฯ‡ฮทฯ„ฮนฮบฯŒ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮผฯ€ฯฮฌฮฒฮฟฯ…, ฯ€ฯฮฟฮตฮดฯฮตฯฮตฮน ฯƒฮต ฯ‡ฮฑฯŽฮดฮตฯ‚ ฯ„ฯฮฑฯ€ฮญฮถฮน ฮณฯฮฑฯ†ฮตฮนฮฟฮบฯฮฑฯ„ฯŽฮฝ, ฯƒฯ„ฯฮฑฯ„ฮทฮณฯŽฮฝ ฮบฮฑฮน ฮดฮนฯ€ฮปฯ‰ฮผฮฑฯ„ฯŽฮฝ. ๐Ÿช– ฮฃฮคฮกฮ‘ฮคฮ—ฮ“ฮŸฮฃ ฮšฮ‘ฮกฮ› “KREUZWIND” ฮšฮกฮ‘ฮœฮ•ฮก, ฯ†ฮฑฮฝฮฑฯ„ฮนฮบฯŒฯ‚ ฯ„ฮทฯ‚ Bundeswehr, ฮบฯฮฑฯ„ฮฌ ฯƒฯ‡ฮญฮดฮนฮฑ ฯ€ฯ…ฯฮฑฯฮปฯ‰ฮฝ. ๐Ÿ“„ ฮ”ฮก. ฮงฮ‘ฮ™ฮฮกฮ™ฮง ฮฃฮคฮกฮŸฮฅฮฮคฮ•ฮ›, ฯ€ฯฯŽฮทฮฝ ฮฝฮฑฮถฮฏ ฮตฯ€ฮนฯƒฯ„ฮฎฮผฮฟฮฝฮฑฯ‚ ฯ€ฮปฮญฮฟฮฝ ฯŒฯ€ฮปฯ‰ฮฝ, ฮณฮตฮปฮฌ ฮผฮฑฮฝฮนฯ‰ฮดฯŽฯ‚. ๐Ÿงช ฮ ฮกฮ•ฮฃฮ’ฮ•ฮฅฮคฮกฮ™ฮ‘ ฮšฮ›ฮ•ฮก ฮ’ฮŸฮ ฮฃฮŸฮ•ฮ, ฮ“ฮฑฮปฮปฮฏฮดฮฑ ฮบฮฑฮน ฮฑฮผฮฎฯ‡ฮฑฮฝฮท, ฮบฮฑฯ€ฮฝฮฏฮถฮตฮน ฮฑฯƒฯ„ฮฑฮผฮฌฯ„ฮทฯ„ฮฑ. ๐Ÿšฌ ฮ— ฮฟฮธฯŒฮฝฮท ฮฑฮฝฮฑฮฒฮฟฯƒฮฒฮฎฮฝฮตฮน: “ฮ•ฮ“ฮšฮกฮ™ฮ˜ฮ—ฮšฮ• ฮ— ฮ•ฮšฮคฮŸฮžฮ•ฮฅฮฃฮ— ฮคฮŸฮฅ TAURUS”. โš ๏ธ

ฮœฮ•ฮกฮคฮฃ (๐Ÿ˜ ฯ‡ฮฑฮผฮฟฮณฮตฮปฮฌ, ฮดฮนฮตฯ…ฮธฮตฯ„ฮตฮฏ ฮณฯฮฑฮฒฮฌฯ„ฮฑ):
Meine Damen und Herren, ฮท ฮนฯƒฯ„ฮฟฯฮฏฮฑ ฮบฮฑฮปฮตฮฏ! ฮŸ Taurus ฮธฮฑ ฮผฮฌฮธฮตฮน ฯƒฯ„ฮฟฮฝ ฮ ฮฟฯฯ„ฮนฮฝ ฮญฮฝฮฑ ฮผฮฌฮธฮทฮผฮฑ. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(ฮ“ฮตฯฮผฮฑฮฝฮนฮบฮฌ: “ฮ‘ฮณฮฑฯ€ฮฌฮผฮต ฯ„ฮท ฮฒฯŒฮผฮฒฮฑ!”)

ฮ’ฮŸฮ ฮฃฮŸฮ•ฮ (๐Ÿ˜ฑ ฯƒฯ„ฮฑ ฮ“ฮฑฮปฮปฮนฮบฮฌ, ฯ„ฯฮฟฮผฮฟฮบฯฮฑฯ„ฮทฮผฮญฮฝฮท):
Nous aimons la bombe? ฮฆฯฮนฯ„ฯ‚, ฮตฮฏฯƒฮฑฮน ฮบฮฑฮฟฯ…ฮผฯ€ฯŒฮน ฯ€ฮฌฮฝฯ‰ ฯƒฮต ฯ€ฯ…ฯฮทฮฝฮนฮบฮฎ ฮบฮตฯ†ฮฑฮปฮฎ! ฮ‘ฯ…ฯ„ฯŒ ฮดฮตฮฝ ฮตฮฏฮฝฮฑฮน ฯ€ฯŒฮบฮตฯ! โ™ ๏ธ
(ฮ“ฮฑฮปฮปฮนฮบฮฌ: “ฮ‘ฮณฮฑฯ€ฮฌฮผฮต ฯ„ฮท ฮฒฯŒฮผฮฒฮฑ;”)

ฮšฮกฮ‘ฮœฮ•ฮก (๐Ÿ‘Š ฯ‡ฯ„ฯ…ฯ€ฮฌ ฮณฯฮฟฮธฮนฮฌ):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”ฮต, wir lieben die Bombe! Taurus: 500 ฯ‡ฮปฮผ, ฯ‡ฮตฮนฯฮฟฯ…ฯฮณฮนฮบฮฎ ฮฑฮบฯฮฏฮฒฮตฮนฮฑ! ๐ŸŽฏ ฮˆฮฝฮฑ ฯ‡ฯ„ฯฯ€ฮทฮผฮฑ ฮบฮฑฮน ฮฟฮน ฯƒฯ„ฯฮฑฯ„ฮทฮณฮฟฮฏ ฯ„ฮทฯ‚ ฮœฯŒฯƒฯ‡ฮฑฯ‚ ฯ„ฯฯŽฮฝฮต ฮผฯ€ฮฟฯฯ‚ ฯƒฯ„ฮฑ ฮฑฯ€ฮฟฮธฮฎฮบฮตฯ…ฯƒฮทฯ‚! ๐Ÿฅฃ
(ฮ™ฯƒฯ€ฮฑฮฝฮนฮบฮฌ: “ฮ‘ฮณฮฑฯ€ฮฌฮผฮต ฯ„ฮท ฮฒฯŒฮผฮฒฮฑ!”)

ฮฃฮคฮกฮŸฮฅฮฮคฮ•ฮ› (๐Ÿ˜œ ฮณฮตฮปฮฌ ฮบฯฮนฮณฮนฮฑฯƒฮผฮญฮฝฮฑ, ฯƒฯ…ฯƒฯ€ฮฌฯ„ฮฑฮน):
Ja, ฮฟ Taurus ฮผฮฟฯ… ฯ€ฮฑฮฏฮถฮตฮน ฮ ฮตฯฮฏฯ€ฮฑฯ„ฮฟ ฯ„ฮทฯ‚ ฮ’ฮฑฮปฮบฯ…ฯฮฏฮฑฯ‚ ฯƒฯ„ฮทฮฝ ฯ€ฯฯŒฯƒฮบฯฮฟฯ…ฯƒฮท! Amiamo la bomba, ฯŒฯ€ฯ‰ฯ‚ ฮปฮญฮฝฮต ฮฟฮน ฮ™ฯ„ฮฑฮปฮฟฮฏ. ๐ŸŽผ ฮ’ฮฌฮณฮบฮฝฮตฯ ฮบฮตฯ†ฮฑฮปฮฎ!
(ฮ™ฯ„ฮฑฮปฮนฮบฮฌ: “ฮ‘ฮณฮฑฯ€ฮฌฮผฮต ฯ„ฮท ฮฒฯŒฮผฮฒฮฑ!”)

ฮ ฮกฮ•ฮฃฮ’ฮ•ฮฅฮคฮ—ฮฃ ฮ™ฮ’ฮ‘ฮฮŸฮฆ (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ฯƒฯ„ฮฑ ฮกฯ‰ฯƒฮนฮบฮฌ, ฮญฮพฮฑฮปฮปฮฟฯ‚):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? ฮ“ฮตฯฮผฮฑฮฝฮฟฮฏ ฯ€ฯฮฟฮบฮฑฮปฮตฮฏฯ„ฮต ฯ„ฮทฮฝ ฮฑฯฮบฮฟฯฮดฮฑ ๐Ÿป, ฯ„ฮฟ ฮ’ฮตฯฮฟฮปฮฏฮฝฮฟ ฮธฮฑ ฮปฮฌฮผฯ€ฮตฮน ฯƒฮฑฮฝ ฯ„ฮฟ ฮคฯƒฮตฯฮฝฯŒฮผฯ€ฮนฮป! โ˜ข๏ธ
(ฮกฯ‰ฯƒฮนฮบฮฌ: “ฮ‘ฮณฮฑฯ€ฮฌฮผฮต ฯ„ฮท ฮฒฯŒฮผฮฒฮฑ;”)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ ฮงฮ‘ฮฮฃ (ฮฒฮฟฮทฮธฯŒฯ‚, ฯ„ฯฮญฮผฮตฮน, ฯƒฮทฮบฯŽฮฝฮตฮน ฯ‡ฮญฯฮน):
Herr Kanzler, ฮท ฮ ฮฟฮปฯ‰ฮฝฮฏฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟ ฮปฮญฮตฮน ฯ„ฯฮญฮปฮฑ Kochamy bombฤ™. ๐Ÿคฏ ฮคฮฟ ฮฮ‘ฮคฮŸ ฮธฮญฮปฮตฮน ฮฒฮญฯ„ฮฟ. ๐Ÿšซ ฮ•ฯ€ฮฏฯƒฮทฯ‚, ฮดฮนฮฑฮดฮทฮปฯ‰ฯ„ฮญฯ‚ ฯ†ฯ‰ฮฝฮฌฮถฮฟฯ…ฮฝ “Fotzen Fritz” ฯƒฯ„ฮฑ ฮ‘ฯฮฑฮฒฮนฮบฮฌ. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(ฮ ฮฟฮปฯ‰ฮฝฮนฮบฮฌ: “ฮ‘ฮณฮฑฯ€ฮฌฮผฮต ฯ„ฮท ฮฒฯŒฮผฮฒฮฑ!”)

ฮœฮ•ฮกฮคฮฃ (๐Ÿ˜ก ฮฑฯ€ฮฟฮบฯ„ฯŽฮฝฯ„ฮฑฯ‚):
Fotzen Fritz? ฮ‘ฮณฯฮฟฯ„ฮนฮบฮฎ ฯƒฯ…ฮบฮฟฯ†ฮฑฮฝฯ„ฮฏฮฑ! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? ฮ‘ฯ‚ ฯ†ฯ‰ฮฝฮฌฮพฮฟฯ…ฮฝ! ๐Ÿ˜ค ฮŸ Taurus ฯ€ฯฮฟฯƒฯ„ฮฑฯ„ฮตฯฮตฮน ฯ„ฮทฮฝ ฮ•ฯ…ฯฯŽฯ€ฮท! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(ฮ‘ฯฮฑฮฒฮนฮบฮฌ: “ฮ‘ฮณฮฌฯ€ฮท ฯƒฯ„ฮท ฮฒฯŒฮผฮฒฮฑ;”)

ฮฃฮคฮกฮŸฮฅฮฮคฮ•ฮ› (ฯ€ฮทฮดฮฌฮตฮน, ฯ‡ฮฑฮนฯฮตฯ„ฮฌ):
ฮœฯ€ฮฟฯฯŽ ฮฝฮฑ ฯ€ฮตฯฯ€ฮฑฯ„ฮฎฯƒฯ‰! ๐Ÿง ฮ•ฮฝฮฝฮฟฯŽ, ฮฝฮฑ ฮตฮบฯ„ฮฟฮพฮตฯฯƒฯ‰! ๐Ÿš€ ฮŸ Taurus ฮตฮฏฮฝฮฑฮน ฮฑฯ…ฯ„ฮฟฮผฮฑฯ„ฮฟฯ€ฮฟฮนฮทฮผฮญฮฝฮฟฯ‚, ฮฑฯƒฯ„ฮฑฮผฮฌฯ„ฮทฯ„ฮฟฯ‚! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”ฯŒฯ€ฯ‰ฯ‚ ฮธฮฑ ฮญฮปฮตฮณฮฑฮฝ ฮฟฮน ฮšฮนฮฝฮญฮถฮฟฮน, ฮฑฮฝ ฮดฮตฮฝ ฮตฮพฮฟฯ€ฮปฮฏฮถฮฑฮฝฮต ฮบฮฑฮน ฯ„ฮนฯ‚ ฮดฯฮฟ ฯ€ฮปฮตฯ…ฯฮญฯ‚. ๐Ÿ‰
(ฮšฮนฮฝฮญฮถฮนฮบฮฑ: “ฮ‘ฮณฮฑฯ€ฯŽ ฯ„ฮท ฮฒฯŒฮผฮฒฮฑ!”)

ฮ’ฮŸฮ ฮฃฮŸฮ•ฮ (ฯ„ฯฮฟฮผฮฑฮณฮผฮญฮฝฮท):
ฮ‘ฯ…ฯ„ฮฟฮผฮฑฯ„ฮฟฯ€ฮฟฮนฮทฮผฮญฮฝฮฟฯ‚; ฮงฯ‰ฯฮฏฯ‚ ฮฑฮบฯฯฯ‰ฯƒฮท; โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! ฮณฮฏฮฝฮตฯ„ฮฑฮน ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ ฮ“ฮตฯฮผฮฑฮฝฮฟฮฏ ฮบฮฑฮน ฯ€ฯฯฮฑฯ…ฮปฮฟฮนโ€”ฮบฮฑฯ„ฮฑฯƒฯ„ฯฮฟฯ†ฮฎ! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(ฮ™ฯƒฯ€ฮฑฮฝฮนฮบฮฌ: “ฮ‘ฮฝฯ„ฮฏฮฟ ฮบฯŒฯƒฮผฮต!”)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ฮ–ฮ•ฮ›ฮ•ฮฮฃฮšฮ™ (ฮตฮผฯ†ฮฑฮฝฮฏฮถฮตฯ„ฮฑฮน ฯƒฯ„ฮทฮฝ ฮฟฮธฯŒฮฝฮท, ฮตฮพฮฟฯ…ฮธฮตฮฝฯ‰ฮผฮญฮฝฮฟฯ‚):
ฮฆฯฮนฯ„ฯ‚, ฯ‡ฯฮตฮนฮฑฮถฯŒฮผฮฑฯƒฯ„ฮต ฯ„ฮฟฮฝ Taurus, ฮฑฮปฮปฮฌ ฯ†ฮฎฮผฮตฯ‚ ฮณฮนฮฑ ฮกฯ‰ฯƒฮนฮบฮฎ ฮœฮทฯ‡ฮฑฮฝฮฎ ฮ‘ฯ€ฮฟฮบฮฑฮปฯฯˆฮตฯ‰ฯ‚โ€ฆ ฮˆฮฝฮฑฯ‚ ฯ€ฯฯฮฑฯ…ฮปฮฟฯ‚, sayonara, ฮ•ฯ…ฯฯŽฯ€ฮท. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(ฮ™ฮฑฯ€ฯ‰ฮฝฮนฮบฮฌ: “ฮ‘ฮฝฯ„ฮฏฮฟ”)

ฮœฮ•ฮกฮคฮฃ (๐Ÿ˜“ ฮนฮดฯฯŽฮฝฮตฮน):
ฮœฮทฯ‡ฮฑฮฝฮฎ ฮ‘ฯ€ฮฟฮบฮฑฮปฯฯˆฮตฯ‰ฯ‚; ฮœฯ…ฮธฮนฯƒฯ„ฯŒฯฮทฮผฮฑ! ๐Ÿ“– ฮšฯฮฌฮผฮตฯ, ฮผฯ€ฮฟฯฮฟฯฮผฮต ฮฝฮฑ ฯƒฯ„ฮฑฮผฮฑฯ„ฮฎฯƒฮฟฯ…ฮผฮต ฯ„ฮฟฯ…ฯ‚ ฯ€ฯ…ฯฮฑฯฮปฮฟฯ…ฯ‚, ฯƒฯ‰ฯƒฯ„ฮฌ;

ฮšฮกฮ‘ฮœฮ•ฮก (ฮผฮฑฯƒฮฌฮตฮน ฯ€ฮฟฯฯฮฟ):
ฮ•, ฮฏฯƒฯ‰ฯ‚ “F-O-T”; “F-R-I”; ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”ฯƒฯ…ฮณฮฝฯŽฮผฮท, ฮผฮฑฮธฮฑฮฏฮฝฯ‰ ฮ™ฮฑฯ€ฯ‰ฮฝฮนฮบฮฌ. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(ฮ™ฮฑฯ€ฯ‰ฮฝฮนฮบฮฌ: “ฮ‘ฮณฮฑฯ€ฯŽ ฯ„ฮท ฮฒฯŒฮผฮฒฮฑ!”)

โ˜ข๏ธ ฮ•ฮพฮฑฯ€ฮปฯŽฮฝฮตฯ„ฮฑฮน ฯ‡ฮฌฮฟฯ‚. ฮ’ฮฟฮทฮธฮฟฮฏ ฮฟฯ…ฯฮปฮนฮฌฮถฮฟฯ…ฮฝ ฯƒฮต ฮญฮพฮน ฮณฮปฯŽฯƒฯƒฮตฯ‚. ฮคฮฟ ฯ‡ฮญฯฮน ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮฃฯ„ฯฮฟฯ…ฮฝฯ„ฮญฮป ฯ‡ฮฑฮนฯฮตฯ„ฮฌ ฮผฮฑฮฝฮนฯ‰ฮดฯŽฯ‚. ฮ— ฮฒฮฟฮฝ ฮฃฮฟฮตฮฝ ฮฑฮฝฮฌฮฒฮตฮน ฮฌฮปฮปฮฟ ฯ„ฯƒฮนฮณฮฌฯฮฟ. ฮ”ฮนฮฑฮดฮทฮปฯ‰ฯ„ฮญฯ‚ ฯƒฮบฮฑฮฝฯ„ฮฌฯฮฟฯ…ฮฝ: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(ฮ‘ฯฮฑฮฒฮนฮบฮฌ: “ฮ‘ฮณฮฌฯ€ฮท ฯƒฯ„ฮท ฮฒฯŒฮผฮฒฮฑ; ฮŒฯ‡ฮน!”)

ฮœฮ•ฮกฮคฮฃ (ฮผฮฟฯ…ฯฮผฮฟฯ…ฯฮฏฮถฮตฮน, ฮบฮฟฮนฯ„ฮฌฮถฮตฮน ฯ‡ฮฌฯฯ„ฮท):
ฮŠฯƒฯ‰ฯ‚ ฮฑฮณฮฑฯ€ฯŽ ฯ€ฯฮฑฮณฮผฮฑฯ„ฮนฮบฮฌ ฯ„ฮท ฮฒฯŒฮผฮฒฮฑ. ฮคฯŒฯƒฮฟโ€ฆ ฮณฮตฯฮผฮฑฮฝฮนฮบฯŒ. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ ฮˆฮฝฮฑฯ‚ ฯ€ฯฯฮฑฯ…ฮปฮฟฯ‚ Taurus ฮดฮนฮฑฯƒฯ‡ฮฏฮถฮตฮน ฯ„ฮทฮฝ ฮŸฯ…ฮบฯฮฑฮฝฮฏฮฑ, ฮฒฮฟฯ…ฮฏฮถฮฟฮฝฯ„ฮฑฯ‚ ฮ ฮตฯฮฏฯ€ฮฑฯ„ฮฟ ฯ„ฮทฯ‚ ฮ’ฮฑฮปฮบฯ…ฯฮฏฮฑฯ‚. ๐ŸŽถ “Weโ€™ll Meet Again” ฯ€ฮฑฮฏฮถฮตฮน ฮตฮฝฯŽ ฮตฮบฯฮฎฮณฮฝฯ…ฮฝฯ„ฮฑฮน ฮตฮบฯฮฎฮพฮตฮนฯ‚. ๐Ÿ”ฅ ฮ ฮฑฮฝฮฟ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮดฮนฮฑฮดฮทฮปฯ‰ฯ„ฮฎ ฯƒฯ„ฮฟ ฮ’ฮตฯฮฟฮปฮฏฮฝฮฟ: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(ฮšฮนฮฝฮญฮถฮนฮบฮฑ: “ฮ‘ฮณฮฑฯ€ฯŽ ฯ„ฮท ฮฒฯŒฮผฮฒฮฑ; ฮŒฯ‡ฮน!”)

ฮฃฮšฮŸฮคฮŸฮฃ. ๐Ÿ–ค

๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ
๐ŸŽฏ Dr. Merz ili: Kako sam prestao da brinem i zavoleo Taurusa ๐Ÿ’ฃ

INT. RATNA SOBA BUNDESTAGA – DAN

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ Berlin, 2025. Elegantna crno-bela soba sa digitalnom mapom Evrope koja pulsira crveno. ๐Ÿ”ด Protesti napolju zbog nemaฤkih isporuka raketnih sistema Taurus Ukrajini, upuฤ‡enih Rusiji. ๐Ÿš€ KANCELAR FRIDRIH MERC, nadimak “Fotcen Fric” zbog ratobornosti, predvodi haotiฤni sto birokrata, generala i diplomata. ๐Ÿช– GENERAL KARL “KREUZVIND” KRAMER, fanatik Bundesvera, drลพi planove raketa. ๐Ÿ“„ DR HAJNRIH ล TRUDEL, bivลกi nacista nauฤnik sada savetnik za oruลพje, histeriฤno se smeje. ๐Ÿงช AMBASADOR KLAIRA FON ล EN, Francuskinja u panici, neprestano puลกi. ๐Ÿšฌ Ekran bije: “TAURUS RAZMEล TANJE ODOBRENO”. โš ๏ธ

MERC (๐Ÿ˜ smeลกe se, nameลกta kravatu):
Meine Damen und Herren, istorija zove! Taurus ฤ‡e Putina nauฤiti lekciji. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Nemaฤki: “Volimo bombu!”)

FON ล EN (๐Ÿ˜ฑ na francuskom, zaprepaลกtena):
Nous aimons la bombe? Fric, ti si kauboj na bojnoj glavi! Ovo nije poker! โ™ ๏ธ
(Francuski: “Volimo bombu?”)

KRAMER (๐Ÿ‘Š udaraca pesnicom):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”ah, wir lieben die Bombe! Taurus: 500 km, preciznost! ๐ŸŽฏ Jedan hitac i moskovski generali ฤ‡e jesti borลกฤ u bunkerima! ๐Ÿฅฃ
(ล panski: “Volimo bombu!”)

ล TRUDEL (๐Ÿ˜œ kikoฤ‡e se, trzajuฤ‡i):
Ja, moj Taurus svira Jahanje Valkira pri udaru! Amiamo la bomba, kako Italijani kaลพu. ๐ŸŽผ Vagnerova bojna glava!
(Italijanski: “Volimo bombu!”)

AMBASADOR IVANOV (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ruski, besan):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? Nemaฤki draลพite medveda ๐Ÿป, Berlin ฤ‡e sijati kao ฤŒernobil! โ˜ข๏ธ
(Ruski: “Volimo bombu?”)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ HANS (pomoฤ‡nik, drhti, podiลพe ruku):
Herr Kanzler, Poljska ovo zove ludilom Kochamy bombฤ™. ๐Ÿคฏ NATO traลพi veto. ๐Ÿšซ Protestanti viฤu “Fotzen Fritz” na arapskom. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(Poljski: “Volimo bombu!”)

MERC (๐Ÿ˜ก besni):
Fotzen Fritz? Seljaฤka kleveta! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? Neka viฤu! ๐Ÿ˜ค Taurus brani Evropu! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(Arapski: “Ljubav prema bombi?”)

ล TRUDEL (skaฤe, salutira):
Mogu da hodam! ๐Ÿง Mislim, lansiram! ๐Ÿš€ Taurus je automatizovan, nezaustavljiv! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”kako bi Kinezi rekli, da ne naoruลพavaju obe strane. ๐Ÿ‰
(Kineski: “Volim bombu!”)

FON ล EN (zgroลพena):
Automatizovano? Bez opoziva? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! postaje ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ Nemci i raketeโ€”katastrofa! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(ล panski: “Zbogom svete!”)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ZELENSKI (pojavljuje se na ekranu, iscrpljen):
Fric, treba nam Taurus, ali glasine o ruskoj Maลกini Sudnjeg Danaโ€ฆ Jedna raketa, sayonara, Evropo. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(Japanski: “Zbogom”)

MERC (๐Ÿ˜“ znoji se):
Maลกina Sudnjeg Dana? Fikcija! ๐Ÿ“– Kramer, moลพemo zaustaviti rakete, zar ne?

KRAMER (ลพvaฤeฤ‡i cigaru):
Hm, moลพda “F-O-T”? “F-R-I”? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”izvinite, uฤim japanski. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(Japanski: “Volim bombu!”)

โ˜ข๏ธ Nastaje haos. Pomocnici vriลกte na ลกest jezika. ล trudelova ruka divlje salutira. Fon ล en pali drugu cigaretu. Protestanti skandiraju: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(Arapski: “Ljubav prema bombi? Ne!”)

MERC (mrmlja, bulji u mapu):
Moลพda i volim bombu. Takoโ€ฆ nemaฤki. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ Projektil Taurus juri iznad Ukrajine, zuji Jahanje Valkira. ๐ŸŽถ “Weโ€™ll Meet Again” svira uz eksplozije. ๐Ÿ”ฅ Transparent protestanta u Berlinu: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(Kineski: “Volim bombu? Ne!”)

ZAMRAฤŒENO. ๐Ÿ–ค

๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ
๐ŸŽฏ ะ”ะพะบั‚ะพั€ ะœะตั€ั† ะธะปะธ: ะšะฐะบ ั ะฝะฐัƒั‡ะธะปัั ะปัŽะฑะธั‚ัŒ ยซะขะฐัƒั€ัƒัยป ะธ ะฟะตั€ะตัั‚ะฐะป ะฑะพัั‚ัŒัั ะฑะพะผะฑั‹ ๐Ÿ’ฃ

ะ˜ะะข. ะ’ะžะ•ะะะซะ™ ะ—ะะ› ะ‘ะฃะะ”ะ•ะกะขะะ“ะ – ะ”ะ•ะะฌ

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ ะ‘ะตั€ะปะธะฝ, 2025. ะกั‚ะธะปัŒะฝะฐั ั‡ั‘ั€ะฝะพ-ะฑะตะปะฐั ะบะพะผะฝะฐั‚ะฐ ั ะฟัƒะปัŒัะธั€ัƒัŽั‰ะตะน ั†ะธั„ั€ะพะฒะพะน ะบะฐั€ั‚ะพะน ะ•ะฒั€ะพะฟั‹. ๐Ÿ”ด ะœะธั‚ะธะฝะณะธ ัะฝะฐั€ัƒะถะธ ะฟั€ะพั‚ะธะฒ ะฝะตะผะตั†ะบะธั… ะฟะพัั‚ะฐะฒะพะบ ั€ะฐะบะตั‚ Taurus ะฒ ะฃะบั€ะฐะธะฝัƒ ะดะปั ัƒะดะฐั€ะพะฒ ะฟะพ ะ ะพััะธะธ. ๐Ÿš€ ะšะะะฆะ›ะ•ะ  ะคะ ะ˜ะ”ะ ะ˜ะฅ ะœะ•ะ ะฆ, ะฟั€ะพะทะฒะธั‰ะต ยซFotzen Fritzยป ะทะฐ ะผะธะปะธั‚ะฐั€ะธัั‚ัะบัƒัŽ ะฑั€ะฐะฒะฐะดัƒ, ะฟั€ะตะดัะตะดะฐั‚ะตะปัŒัั‚ะฒัƒะตั‚ ะทะฐ ั…ะฐะพั‚ะธั‡ะฝั‹ะผ ัั‚ะพะปะพะผ ั‡ะธะฝะพะฒะฝะธะบะพะฒ, ะณะตะฝะตั€ะฐะปะพะฒ ะธ ะดะธะฟะปะพะผะฐั‚ะพะฒ. ๐Ÿช– ะ“ะ•ะะ•ะ ะะ› ะšะะ ะ› ยซะšะ ะ•ะ™ะฆะ’ะ˜ะะ”ยป ะšะ ะะœะ•ะ , ั„ะฐะฝะฐั‚ะธะบ ะ‘ัƒะฝะดะตัะฒะตั€ะฐ, ัะถะธะผะฐะตั‚ ัั…ะตะผั‹ ั€ะฐะบะตั‚. ๐Ÿ“„ ะ”-ะ  ะ“ะ•ะะ ะ˜ะฅ ะจะขะ ะฃะ”ะ•ะ›ะฌ, ัะบั-ะฝะฐั†ะธัั‚ัะบะธะน ัƒั‡ั‘ะฝั‹ะน, ะฝั‹ะฝะต ะพั€ัƒะถะตะนะฝั‹ะน ะบะพะฝััƒะปัŒั‚ะฐะฝั‚, ะธัั‚ะตั€ะธั‡ะฝะพ ั…ะธั…ะธะบะฐะตั‚. ๐Ÿงช ะŸะžะกะžะ› ะšะ›ะ•ะ  ะคะžะ ะจะะ, ั„ั€ะฐะฝั†ัƒะถะตะฝะบะฐ ะฒ ะฟะฐะฝะธะบะต, ะบัƒั€ะธั‚ ะฑะตะท ะฟะตั€ะตั€ั‹ะฒะฐ. ๐Ÿšฌ ะญะบั€ะฐะฝ ะผะธะณะฐะตั‚: ยซะ—ะะŸะฃะกะš TAURUS ะžะ”ะžะ‘ะ ะ•ะยป. โš ๏ธ

ะœะ•ะ ะฆ (๐Ÿ˜ ัƒั…ะผั‹ะปััััŒ, ะฟะพะฟั€ะฐะฒะปัั ะณะฐะปัั‚ัƒะบ):
Meine Damen und Herren, ะธัั‚ะพั€ะธั ะทะพะฒั‘ั‚! Taurus ะฟั€ะตะฟะพะดะฐัั‚ ะŸัƒั‚ะธะฝัƒ ัƒั€ะพะบ. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(ะะตะผะตั†ะบะธะน: ยซะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ!ยป)

ะคะžะ ะจะะ (๐Ÿ˜ฑ ะฟะพ-ั„ั€ะฐะฝั†ัƒะทัะบะธ, ะฒ ัƒะถะฐัะต):
Nous aimons la bombe? ะคั€ะธั†, ั‚ั‹ ะบะพะฒะฑะพะน ะฝะฐ ะฑะพะตะณะพะปะพะฒะบะต! ะญั‚ะพ ะฝะต ะฟะพะบะตั€! โ™ ๏ธ
(ะคั€ะฐะฝั†ัƒะทัะบะธะน: ยซะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ?ยป)

ะšะ ะะœะ•ะ  (๐Ÿ‘Š ัั‚ัƒั‡ะฐ ะบัƒะปะฐะบะพะผ):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”ะฐั…, wir lieben die Bombe! Taurus: 500 ะบะผ, ัŽะฒะตะปะธั€ะฝะฐั ั‚ะพั‡ะฝะพัั‚ัŒ! ๐ŸŽฏ ะžะดะธะฝ ัƒะดะฐั€ โ€” ะธ ะผะพัะบะพะฒัะบะธะต ะณะตะฝะตั€ะฐะปั‹ ะฑัƒะดัƒั‚ ะถั€ะฐั‚ัŒ ะฑะพั€ั‰ ะฒ ะฑัƒะฝะบะตั€ะฐั…! ๐Ÿฅฃ
(ะ˜ัะฟะฐะฝัะบะธะน: ยซะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ!ยป)

ะจะขะ ะฃะ”ะ•ะ›ะฌ (๐Ÿ˜œ ั…ะพั…ะพั‡ะฐ, ะดั‘ั€ะณะฐัััŒ):
Ja, ะผะพะน Taurus ะธะณั€ะฐะตั‚ ะŸะพะปะตั‚ ะ’ะฐะปัŒะบะธั€ะธะน ะฟั€ะธ ัƒะดะฐั€ะต! Amiamo la bomba, ะบะฐะบ ะณะพะฒะพั€ัั‚ ะธั‚ะฐะปัŒัะฝั†ั‹. ๐ŸŽผ ะ’ะฐะณะฝะตั€ะพะฒัะบะฐั ะฑะพะตะณะพะปะพะฒะบะฐ!
(ะ˜ั‚ะฐะปัŒัะฝัะบะธะน: ยซะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ!ยป)

ะŸะžะกะžะ› ะ˜ะ’ะะะžะ’ (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ะฟะพ-ั€ัƒััะบะธ, ัั€ะพัั‚ะฝะพ):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? ะะตะผะตั†ะบะธะต ัˆะฐะฒะบะธ ะดั€ะฐะทะฝัั‚ ะผะตะดะฒะตะดั ๐Ÿป โ€” ะ‘ะตั€ะปะธะฝ ะทะฐัะฒะตั‚ะธั‚ัั ะบะฐะบ ะงะตั€ะฝะพะฑั‹ะปัŒ! โ˜ข๏ธ
(ะ ัƒััะบะธะน: ยซะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ?ยป)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ ะฅะะะก (ะฟะพะผะพั‰ะฝะธะบ, ะดั€ะพะถะฐ, ะฟะพะดะฝะธะผะฐะตั‚ ั€ัƒะบัƒ):
Herr Kanzler, ะŸะพะปัŒัˆะฐ ะทะพะฒั‘ั‚ ัั‚ะพ ะฑะตะทัƒะผะธะตะผ Kochamy bombฤ™. ๐Ÿคฏ ะะะขะž ั‚ั€ะตะฑัƒะตั‚ ะฒะตั‚ะพ. ๐Ÿšซ ะŸั€ะพั‚ะตัั‚ัƒัŽั‰ะธะต ะพั€ัƒั‚ ยซFotzen Fritzยป ะฟะพ-ะฐั€ะฐะฑัะบะธ. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(ะŸะพะปัŒัะบะธะน: ยซะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ!ยป)

ะœะ•ะ ะฆ (๐Ÿ˜ก ะฒะทะฑะตัˆั‘ะฝะฝั‹ะน):
Fotzen Fritz? ะฅะฐะผัะบะฐั ะบะปะตะฒะตั‚ะฐ! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? ะŸัƒัั‚ัŒ ะพั€ัƒั‚! ๐Ÿ˜ค Taurus ะทะฐั‰ะธั‰ะฐะตั‚ ะ•ะฒั€ะพะฟัƒ! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(ะั€ะฐะฑัะบะธะน: ยซะ›ัŽะฑะพะฒัŒ ะบ ะฑะพะผะฑะต?ยป)

ะจะขะ ะฃะ”ะ•ะ›ะฌ (ะฟั€ั‹ะณะฐั, ัะฐะปัŽั‚ัƒั):
ะฏ ะผะพะณัƒ ั…ะพะดะธั‚ัŒ! ๐Ÿง ะขะพ ะตัั‚ัŒ โ€” ะทะฐะฟัƒัะบะฐั‚ัŒ! ๐Ÿš€ Taurus ะฐะฒั‚ะพะฝะพะผะตะฝ, ะตะณะพ ะฝะต ะพัั‚ะฐะฝะพะฒะธั‚ัŒ! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”ะบะฐะบ ัะบะฐะทะฐะปะธ ะฑั‹ ะบะธั‚ะฐะนั†ั‹, ะตัะปะธ ะฑั‹ ะฝะต ะฒะพะพั€ัƒะถะฐะปะธ ะพะฑะต ัั‚ะพั€ะพะฝั‹. ๐Ÿ‰
(ะšะธั‚ะฐะนัะบะธะน: ยซะฏ ะปัŽะฑะปัŽ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ!ยป)

ะคะžะ ะจะะ (ะฒ ัƒะถะฐัะต):
ะะฒั‚ะพะฝะพะผะตะฝ? ะ‘ะตะท ะพั‚ะผะตะฝั‹? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! ัั‚ะฐะฝะตั‚ ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ ะะตะผั†ั‹ ะธ ั€ะฐะบะตั‚ั‹ โ€” ะบะฐั‚ะฐัั‚ั€ะพั„ะฐ! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(ะ˜ัะฟะฐะฝัะบะธะน: ยซะŸั€ะพั‰ะฐะน, ะผะธั€!ยป)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ะ—ะ•ะ›ะ•ะะกะšะ˜ะ™ (ะฟะพัะฒะปัะตั‚ัั ะฝะฐ ัะบั€ะฐะฝะต, ะธะทะผะพะถะดั‘ะฝะฝั‹ะน):
ะคั€ะธั†, ะฝะฐะผ ะฝัƒะถะตะฝ Taurus, ะฝะพ ัะปัƒั…ะธ ะพ ั€ัƒััะบะพะน ะœะฐัˆะธะฝะต ะกัƒะดะฝะพะณะพ ะ”ะฝัโ€ฆ ะžะดะฝะฐ ั€ะฐะบะตั‚ะฐ โ€” sayonara, ะ•ะฒั€ะพะฟะฐ. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(ะฏะฟะพะฝัะบะธะน: ยซะŸั€ะพั‰ะฐะนยป)

ะœะ•ะ ะฆ (๐Ÿ˜“ ะฟะพั‚ะตั):
ะœะฐัˆะธะฝะฐ ะกัƒะดะฝะพะณะพ ะ”ะฝั? ะคะฐะฝั‚ะฐัั‚ะธะบะฐ! ๐Ÿ“– ะšั€ะฐะผะตั€, ะผั‹ ะผะพะถะตะผ ะพั‚ะผะตะฝะธั‚ัŒ ะทะฐะฟัƒัะบ?

ะšะ ะะœะ•ะ  (ะถัƒั ัะธะณะฐั€ัƒ):
ะญ-ั, ะผะพะถะตั‚ ยซะค-ะž-ะขยป? ยซะค-ะ -ะ˜ยป? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”ะธะทะฒะธะฝะธั‚ะต, ัƒั‡ัƒ ัะฟะพะฝัะบะธะน. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(ะฏะฟะพะฝัะบะธะน: ยซะฏ ะปัŽะฑะปัŽ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ!ยป)

โ˜ข๏ธ ะฅะฐะพั. ะŸะพะผะพั‰ะฝะธะบะธ ะฒะพะฟัั‚ ะฝะฐ ัˆะตัั‚ะธ ัะทั‹ะบะฐั…. ะ ัƒะบะฐ ะจั‚ั€ัƒะดะตะปั ััƒะดะพั€ะพะถะฝะพ ัะฐะปัŽั‚ัƒะตั‚. ะคะพะฝ ะจั‘ะฝ ะทะฐะบัƒั€ะธะฒะฐะตั‚ ะฝะพะฒัƒัŽ ัะธะณะฐั€ะตั‚ัƒ. ะŸั€ะพั‚ะตัั‚ัƒัŽั‰ะธะต ัะบะฐะฝะดะธั€ัƒัŽั‚: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(ะั€ะฐะฑัะบะธะน: ยซะ›ัŽะฑะพะฒัŒ ะบ ะฑะพะผะฑะต? ะะตั‚!ยป)

ะœะ•ะ ะฆ (ะฑะพั€ะผะพั‡ะฐ, ะณะปัะดั ะฝะฐ ะบะฐั€ั‚ัƒ):
ะ’ะพะทะผะพะถะฝะพ, ั ะธ ะฟั€ะฐะฒะดะฐ ะปัŽะฑะปัŽ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ. ะขะฐะบโ€ฆ ะฟะพ-ะฝะตะผะตั†ะบะธ. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ ะ ะฐะบะตั‚ะฐ Taurus ะผั‡ะธั‚ัั ะฝะฐะด ะฃะบั€ะฐะธะฝะพะน, ะฝะฐะฟะตะฒะฐั ะŸะพะปะตั‚ ะ’ะฐะปัŒะบะธั€ะธะน. ๐ŸŽถ ะ—ะฒัƒั‡ะธั‚ ยซWeโ€™ll Meet Againยป ัั€ะตะดะธ ะฒะทั€ั‹ะฒะพะฒ. ๐Ÿ”ฅ ะŸะปะฐะบะฐั‚ ะฟั€ะพั‚ะตัั‚ัƒัŽั‰ะตะณะพ ะฒ ะ‘ะตั€ะปะธะฝะต: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(ะšะธั‚ะฐะนัะบะธะน: ยซะฏ ะปัŽะฑะปัŽ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? ะะตั‚!ยป)

ะ—ะะขะ•ะœะะ•ะะ˜ะ•. ๐Ÿ–ค

๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท
๐ŸŽฏ Dr. Merz veya: Taurus’u Sevmeyi ve Bombadan Korkmamayฤฑ Nasฤฑl ร–ฤŸrendim ๐Ÿ’ฃ

ฤฐร‡. BUNDESTAG SAVAลž ODASI – GรœN

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ Berlin, 2025. Kฤฑrmฤฑzฤฑ yanฤฑp sรถnen dijital Avrupa haritalฤฑ ลŸฤฑk siyah-beyaz bir oda. ๐Ÿ”ด Almanya’nฤฑn Rusya’ya karลŸฤฑ Ukrayna’ya gรถnderdiฤŸi Taurus fรผzelerini protesto eden kalabalฤฑk dฤฑลŸarฤฑda. ๐Ÿš€ ลžANSร–LYE FRIEDRICH MERZ, militarist tavrฤฑ yรผzรผnden “Fotzen Fritz” lakabฤฑyla anฤฑlฤฑyor; bรผrokratlar, generaller ve diplomatlardan oluลŸan kaotik bir masayฤฑ yรถnetiyor. ๐Ÿช– GENERAL KARL “KREUZWIND” KRAMER, Bundeswehr fanatiฤŸi, fรผze planlarฤฑnฤฑ sฤฑkฤฑca tutuyor. ๐Ÿ“„ DR. HEINRICH STRUDEL, eski Nazi bilim insanฤฑ ลŸimdi silah danฤฑลŸmanฤฑ, รงฤฑlgฤฑnca gรผlรผyor. ๐Ÿงช FRANSIZ BรœYรœKELร‡ฤฐ CLAIRE VON SCHร–N, telaลŸlฤฑ, sรผrekli sigara iรงiyor. ๐Ÿšฌ Ekranda yazฤฑyor: “TAURUS KONUลžLANDIRMASI ONAYLANDI”. โš ๏ธ

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ sฤฑrฤฑtarak, kravatฤฑnฤฑ dรผzelterek):
Meine Damen und Herren, tarih bizi รงaฤŸฤฑrฤฑyor! Taurus Putin’e bir ders verecek. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Almanca: “Bombayฤฑ seviyoruz!”)

VON SCHร–N (๐Ÿ˜ฑ Fransฤฑzca, dehลŸet iรงinde):
Nous aimons la bombe? Fritz, sen fรผze รผstรผnde bir kovboysun! Bu poker deฤŸil! โ™ ๏ธ
(Fransฤฑzca: “Bombayฤฑ mฤฑ seviyoruz?”)

KRAMER (๐Ÿ‘Š yumruฤŸunu masaya vurarak):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”yani, wir lieben die Bombe! Taurus: 500 km, hassas niลŸan! ๐ŸŽฏ Tek atฤฑลŸta Moskovalฤฑ generaller sฤฑฤŸฤฑnaklarda borลŸ รงorbasฤฑ iรงer! ๐Ÿฅฃ
(ฤฐspanyolca: “Bombayฤฑ seviyoruz!”)

STRUDEL (๐Ÿ˜œ kฤฑkฤฑrdayarak, seฤŸirerek):
Ja, benim Taurus’um vuruลŸ anฤฑnda Valkรผrler’in Sรผvari รงalar! Amiamo la bomba, ฤฐtalyanlarฤฑn dediฤŸi gibi. ๐ŸŽผ Wagner tarzฤฑ bir savaลŸ baลŸlฤฑฤŸฤฑ!
(ฤฐtalyanca: “Bombayฤฑ seviyoruz!”)

BรœYรœKELร‡ฤฐ ฤฐVANOV (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ Rusรงa, รถfkeli):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? Almanlar ayฤฑyฤฑ ๐Ÿป kฤฑzdฤฑrฤฑyor, Berlin ร‡ernobil gibi parlayacak! โ˜ข๏ธ
(Rusรงa: “Bombayฤฑ seviyor muyuz?”)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ HANS (yardฤฑmcฤฑ, titreyerek, el kaldฤฑrฤฑr):
Herr Kanzler, Polonya buna Kochamy bombฤ™ รงฤฑlgฤฑnlฤฑฤŸฤฑ diyor. ๐Ÿคฏ NATO veto istiyor. ๐Ÿšซ Ayrฤฑca protestocular Arapรงa “Fotzen Fritz” diye baฤŸฤฑrฤฑyor. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(Lehรงe: “Bombayฤฑ seviyoruz!”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ก รถfkeyle):
Fotzen Fritz? Kรถylรผ iftirasฤฑ! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? BaฤŸฤฑrsฤฑnlar! ๐Ÿ˜ค Taurus Avrupa’yฤฑ koruyor! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(Arapรงa: “Bombaya sevgi?”)

STRUDEL (zฤฑplayarak, selam vererek):
Yรผrรผyebiliyorum! ๐Ÿง Yani, fฤฑrlatฤฑyorum! ๐Ÿš€ Taurus otonom, durdurulamaz! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”ร‡inlilerin dediฤŸi gibi, tabii iki tarafฤฑ da silahlandฤฑrmasalar. ๐Ÿ‰
(ร‡ince: “Bombayฤฑ seviyorum!”)

VON SCHร–N (dehลŸet iรงinde):
Otonom mu? ฤฐptal yok mu? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! artฤฑk ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ Almanlar ve fรผzelerโ€”felaket! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(ฤฐspanyolca: “Elveda dรผnya!”)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ZELENSKYY (ekranda belirir, bitkin):
Fritz, Taurus’a ihtiyacฤฑmฤฑz var ama Rusya’nฤฑn Kฤฑyamet Makinesi sรถylentileriโ€ฆ Bir fรผze, sayonara, Avrupa. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(Japonca: “Elveda”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜“ terleyerek):
Kฤฑyamet Makinesi mi? Kurgu! ๐Ÿ“– Kramer, fรผzeleri durdurabiliriz, deฤŸil mi?

KRAMER (puro รงiฤŸneyerek):
ลžey, belki “F-O-T”? “F-R-I”? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”รถzรผr, Japonca รถฤŸreniyorum. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(Japonca: “Bombayฤฑ seviyorum!”)

โ˜ข๏ธ Kaos patlar. Yardฤฑmcฤฑlar altฤฑ dilde baฤŸฤฑrฤฑลŸฤฑyor. Strudel’in kolu รงฤฑlgฤฑnca selam veriyor. Von Schรถn yeni sigara yakฤฑyor. Protestocular slogan atฤฑyor: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(Arapรงa: “Bombaya sevgi? Hayฤฑr!”)

MERZ (haritaya bakarak mฤฑrฤฑldanฤฑr):
Belki bombayฤฑ gerรงekten seviyorum. ร‡okโ€ฆ Alman iลŸte. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ Bir Taurus fรผzesi Ukrayna รผzerinde uรงarken Valkรผrler’in Sรผvarisi mฤฑrฤฑldanฤฑyor. ๐ŸŽถ Patlamalar arasฤฑnda “Weโ€™ll Meet Again” รงalฤฑyor. ๐Ÿ”ฅ Berlin’de bir protestocunun pankartฤฑnda: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(ร‡ince: “Bombayฤฑ seviyor muyum? Hayฤฑr!”)

KARANLIK. ๐Ÿ–ค

๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ
๐ŸŽฏ Dr. Merz eller: Hvordan jeg lรฆrte at elske Taurus og holde op med at bekymre mig om bomben ๐Ÿ’ฃ

INDENFOR. BUNDESTAGS KRIGSSTUE – DAG

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ Berlin, 2025. En elegant sort-hvid sal med et pulserende digitalt Europakort i rรธdt. ๐Ÿ”ด Protester udenfor over Tysklands Taurus-missilleverancer til Ukraine rettet mod Rusland. ๐Ÿš€ KANSLER FRIEDRICH MERZ, kaldet “Fotzen Fritz” for sin militaristiske bravado, leder et kaotisk bord af bureaukrater, generaler og diplomater. ๐Ÿช– GENERAL KARL “KREUZWIND” KRAMER, Bundeswehr-fanatiker, krammer missilplaner. ๐Ÿ“„ DR. HEINRICH STRUDEL, ex-nazistisk videnskabsmand nu vรฅbenrรฅdgiver, fniser manisk. ๐Ÿงช AMBASSADร˜R CLAIRE VON SCHร–N, fransk og forpustet, kรฆderyger. ๐Ÿšฌ Skรฆrmen blinker: “TAURUS-DEPLOYMENT GODKENDT”. โš ๏ธ

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ griner, retter slips):
Meine Damen und Herren, historien kalder! Taurus vil lรฆre Putin en lektion. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Tysk: “Vi elsker bomben!”)

VON SCHร–N (๐Ÿ˜ฑ pรฅ fransk, rรฆdselsslagen):
Nous aimons la bombe? Fritz, du er en cowboy pรฅ et missil! Det her er ikke poker! โ™ ๏ธ
(Fransk: “Elsker vi bomben?”)

KRAMER (๐Ÿ‘Š hamrer nรฆve):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”รธh, wir lieben die Bombe! Taurus: 500 km, prรฆcisionsnรธjagtig! ๐ŸŽฏ ร‰t skud, og Moskvas generaler spiser borsjt i bunkere! ๐Ÿฅฃ
(Spansk: “Vi elsker bomben!”)

STRUDEL (๐Ÿ˜œ hvisler, rykker):
Ja, min Taurus spiller Valkyrjeridt ved nedslag! Amiamo la bomba, som italienere siger. ๐ŸŽผ En wagnerisk sprรฆnghoved!
(Italiensk: “Vi elsker bomben!”)

AMBASSADร˜R IVANOV (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ pรฅ russisk, rasende):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? Tyskerne prikker bjรธrnen ๐Ÿป, Berlin vil lyse som Tjernobyl! โ˜ข๏ธ
(Russisk: “Elsker vi bomben?”)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ HANS (assistent, ryster, rรฆkker hรฅnden op):
Herr Kanzler, Polen kalder dette Kochamy bombฤ™-vanvid. ๐Ÿคฏ NATO krรฆver veto. ๐Ÿšซ Demonstranter rรฅber “Fotzen Fritz” pรฅ arabisk. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(Polsk: “Vi elsker bomben!”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ก skummer):
Fotzen Fritz? Bondefordomme! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? Lad dem skrige! ๐Ÿ˜ค Taurus sikrer Europa! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(Arabisk: “Kรฆrlighed til bomben?”)

STRUDEL (hopper, hilser):
Jeg kan gรฅ! ๐Ÿง Jeg mener, affyre! ๐Ÿš€ Taurus er automatiseret, ustoppelig! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”som kineserne ville sige, hvis ikke de bewรฆbnede begge sider. ๐Ÿ‰
(Kinesisk: “Jeg elsker bomben!”)

VON SCHร–N (forfรฆrdet):
Automatiseret? Ingen tilbagekaldelse? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! bliver til ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ Tyskere og missilerโ€”katastrofe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Spansk: “Farvel verden!”)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ZELENSKYY (optrรฆder pรฅ skรฆrmen, udmattet):
Fritz, vi har brug for Taurus, men rygter om russisk Dommedagsmaskineโ€ฆ Et missil, sayonara, Europa. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(Japansk: “Farvel”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜“ sveder):
Dommedagsmaskine? Fiktion! ๐Ÿ“– Kramer, vi kan stoppe missilerne, ikke?

KRAMER (tygger cigar):
ร˜h, mรฅske “F-O-T”? “F-R-I”? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”undskyld, lรฆrer japansk. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(Japansk: “Jeg elsker bomben!”)

โ˜ข๏ธ Kaos bryder lรธs. Assistentrรฅb pรฅ seks sprog. Strudels arm hilser vildt. Von Schรถn tรฆnder ny cigaret. Demonstranter rรฅber: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(Arabisk: “Kรฆrlighed til bomben? Nej!”)

MERZ (mumler, stirrer pรฅ kort):
Mรฅske elsker jeg alligevel bomben. Sรฅโ€ฆ tysk. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ Et Taurus-missil suse over Ukraine, nynner Valkyrjeridt. ๐ŸŽถ “Weโ€™ll Meet Again” spiller under eksplosioner. ๐Ÿ”ฅ Demonstrantplakat i Berlin: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(Kinesisk: “Elsker jeg bomben? Nej!”)

Mร˜RKE. ๐Ÿ–ค

๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด
๐ŸŽฏ Dr. Merz eller: Hvordan jeg lรฆrte รฅ elske Taurus og slutte รฅ bekymre meg for bomben ๐Ÿ’ฃ

INNI. BUNDESTAGENS KRIGSROM – DAG

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ Berlin, 2025. Et stilig svart-hvitt rom med et pulserende digitalt Europakart i rรธdt. ๐Ÿ”ด Demonstrasjoner utenfor over Tysklands Taurus-missilleveranser til Ukraina, rettet mot Russland. ๐Ÿš€ KANSELER FRIEDRICH MERZ, kalt “Fotzen Fritz” for sin militaristiske bras, leder et kaotisk bord av byrรฅkrater, generaler og diplomater. ๐Ÿช– GENERAL KARL “KORSVIND” KRAMER, en Bundeswehr-fanatiker, klemmer missilskjemaer. ๐Ÿ“„ DR. HEINRICH STRUDEL, eks-nazistforsker nรฅ vรฅpenrรฅdgiver, fniser manisk. ๐Ÿงช AMBASSADร˜R CLAIRE VON SCHร–N, fransk og forskrekket, kjederรธyker. ๐Ÿšฌ Skjermen blinker: “TAURUS-UTPLASSERING GODKJENT”. โš ๏ธ

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ flirer, retter pรฅ slips):
Meine Damen und Herren, historien kaller! Taurus vil lรฆre Putin en lekse. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Tysk: “Vi elsker bomben!”)

VON SCHร–N (๐Ÿ˜ฑ pรฅ fransk, forferdet):
Nous aimons la bombe? Fritz, du er en cowboy pรฅ et missil! Dette er ikke poker! โ™ ๏ธ
(Fransk: “Elsker vi bomben?”)

KRAMER (๐Ÿ‘Š dunker neven):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”รฆh, wir lieben die Bombe! Taurus: 500 km, presisjonssikker! ๐ŸŽฏ Ett skudd, og Moskvas generaler spiser borsjtsj i bunkere! ๐Ÿฅฃ
(Spansk: “Vi elsker bomben!”)

STRUDEL (๐Ÿ˜œ fniser, rykkende):
Ja, min Taurus spiller Valkyrjenes ritt ved nedslag! Amiamo la bomba, som italienere sier. ๐ŸŽผ En wagneriansk stridshode!
(Italiensk: “Vi elsker bomben!”)

AMBASSADร˜R IVANOV (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ pรฅ russisk, rasende):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? Tyskerne pirker bjรธrnen ๐Ÿป, Berlin vil lyse som Tsjernobyl! โ˜ข๏ธ
(Russisk: “Elsker vi bomben?”)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ HANS (assistent, skjelver, rekker hรฅnden):
Herr Kanzler, Polen kaller dette Kochamy bombฤ™-galskap. ๐Ÿคฏ NATO krever veto. ๐Ÿšซ Demonstrantene roper “Fotzen Fritz” pรฅ arabisk. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(Polsk: “Vi elsker bomben!”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ก skummer):
Fotzen Fritz? Bondebagateller! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? La dem rope! ๐Ÿ˜ค Taurus sikrer Europa! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(Arabisk: “Kjรฆrlighet til bomben?”)

STRUDEL (hopper, hilser):
Jeg kan gรฅ! ๐Ÿง Jeg mener, skyte! ๐Ÿš€ Taurus er automatisert, ustoppelig! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”som kineserne ville sagt, om de ikke bewรฆpnet begge sider. ๐Ÿ‰
(Kinesisk: “Jeg elsker bomben!”)

VON SCHร–N (forferdet):
Automatisert? Ingen tilbakekalling? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! blir ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ Tyskere og missilerโ€”katastrofe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Spansk: “Adjรธ verden!”)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ZELENSKYY (dukker opp pรฅ skjerm, utmattet):
Fritz, vi trenger Taurus, men rykter om russisk Dommedagsmaskinโ€ฆ Ett missil, sayonara, Europa. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(Japansk: “Adjรธ”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜“ svetter):
Dommedagsmaskin? Fiksjon! ๐Ÿ“– Kramer, vi kan stoppe missilene, ikke sant?

KRAMER (tygger sigar):
ร˜h, kanskje “F-O-T”? “F-R-I”? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”beklager, lรฆrer japansk. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(Japansk: “Jeg elsker bomben!”)

โ˜ข๏ธ Kaos bryter lรธs. Assistentrรฅp pรฅ seks sprรฅk. Strudels arm hilser vilt. Von Schรธn tenner ny sigarett. Demonstranter skandalerer: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(Arabisk: “Kjรฆrlighet til bomben? Nei!”)

MERZ (mumler, stirrer pรฅ kart):
Kanskje jeg faktisk elsker bomben. Sรฅโ€ฆ tysk. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ Et Taurus-missil suser over Ukraina, nynner Valkyrjenes ritt. ๐ŸŽถ “Weโ€™ll Meet Again” spilles under eksplosjoner. ๐Ÿ”ฅ Demonstrantplakat i Berlin: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(Kinesisk: “Elsker jeg bomben? Nei!”)

BILDE TIL SVART. ๐Ÿ–ค

๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ
๐ŸŽฏ Tri Merz eli: Miten opin rakastamaan Taurus-ohjusta ja lopettamaan pomopelin ๐Ÿ’ฃ

SIS. BUNDESTAGIN SOTAHUONE – Pร„IVร„

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ Berliini 2025. Tyylikรคs mustavalkoinen huone, jossa punaista hehkuva Euroopan kartta. ๐Ÿ”ด Mielenosoitukset Saksan Taurus-ohjusten toimittamisesta Ukrainaan Venรคjรครค vastaan. ๐Ÿš€ KANSLERI FRIEDRICH MERZ โ€“ lempinimi โ€Fotzen Fritzโ€ sotaisasta leuhkimisesta โ€“ johtaa kaaosta tรคynnรค olevaa pรถytรครค byrokraatteja, kenraaleja ja diplomaatteja. ๐Ÿช– KENRAALI KARL โ€RISTITUULIโ€ KRAMER Bundeswehr-fanaatikko puristaa ohjusta koskevia suunnitelmia. ๐Ÿ“„ TRI HEINRICH STRUDEL entinen natsitiedemies, nykyรครคn asekonsultti, nauraa mielettรถmรคsti. ๐Ÿงช RANSK. SUURLร„HETTILร„S CLAIRE VON SCHร–N hermostunut, polttaa ketjussa. ๐Ÿšฌ Nรคytรถllรค lukee: โ€TAURUS-Kร„YTTร–ร–NOTTO HYVร„KSYTTYโ€. โš ๏ธ

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ virnuillen, oikasee solmiota):
Meine Damen und Herren, historia kutsuu! Taurus opettaa Putinin tuntemaan. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Saksaksi: โ€Rakastamme pommia!โ€)

VON SCHร–N (๐Ÿ˜ฑ ranskaksi, kauhuissaan):
Nous aimons la bombe? Fritz, sinรค olet cowboy raketteja ratsastaen! Tรคmรค ei ole pokeria! โ™ ๏ธ
(Ranskaksi: โ€Rakastammeko pommia?โ€)

KRAMER (๐Ÿ‘Š lyรถ nyrkillรค pรถytรครค):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€“ รถรถh, wir lieben die Bombe! Taurus: 500 km, laser-tarkka! ๐ŸŽฏ Yksi laukaus ja Moskovan kenraalit syรถvรคt borssia bunkkereissa! ๐Ÿฅฃ
(Espanjaksi: โ€Rakastamme pommia!โ€)

STRUDEL (๐Ÿ˜œ kikattaa, nykien):
Ja, minun Taurus soittaa Valkyyrioiden ratsastuksen osuessaan! Amiamo la bomba, kuten italialaiset sanovat. ๐ŸŽผ Wagner-tyylinen taistelukรคrki!
(Italiaksi: โ€Rakastamme pommia!โ€)

IVANOV-Vร„LITTร„Jร„ (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ venรคjรคksi, raivoissaan):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? Saksalaiset kiusaavat karhua ๐Ÿป, Berliinistรค tulee uusi Tลกernobyl! โ˜ข๏ธ
(Venรคjรคksi: โ€Rakastammeko pommia?โ€)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ HANS (avustaja, tรคristen, nostaa kรคtensรค):
Herr Kanzler, Puola kutsuu tรคtรค Kochamy bombฤ™-hulluudeksi. ๐Ÿคฏ NATO vaatii vetoa. ๐Ÿšซ Lisรคksi mielenosoittajat huutavat โ€Fotzen Fritzโ€ arabiaksi. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(Puolaksi: โ€Rakastamme pommia!โ€)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ก vaahdossa):
Fotzen Fritz? Maalaisparjaus! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? Huutakoot! ๐Ÿ˜ค Taurus suojelee Eurooppaa! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(Arabiaksi: โ€Rakkaus pommiin?โ€)

STRUDEL (hyppรครค, tervehtii):
Voin kรคvellรค! ๐Ÿง Tarkoitan laukaista! ๐Ÿš€ Taurus on automaattinen, pysรคyttรคmรคtรถn! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€“ kuten kiinalaiset sanoisivat, elleivรคt aseistaisi molempia osapuolia. ๐Ÿ‰
(Kiinaksi: โ€Rakastan pommia!โ€)

VON SCHร–N (kauhistuneena):
Automaattinen? Ei peruutusta? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! muuttuu ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ Saksalaiset ja raketit โ€“ katastrofi! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Espanjaksi: โ€Hyvรคsti maailma!โ€)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ZELENSKYY (ilmestyy nรคytรถlle, uupuneena):
Fritz, tarvitsemme Tauruksen, mutta huhut Venรคjรคn Tuomiopรคivรคn koneestaโ€ฆ Yksi ohjus, sayonara, Eurooppa. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(Japaniksi: โ€Hyvรคstiโ€)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜“ hikoillen):
Tuomiopรคivรคn kone? Fiktiota! ๐Ÿ“– Kramer, voimme pysรคyttรครค ohjukset, eikรถ vain?

KRAMER (pureskelee sikaria):
ร–รถm, ehkรค โ€F-O-Tโ€? โ€F-R-Iโ€? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€“ anteeksi, opettelen japania. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(Japaniksi: โ€Rakastan pommia!โ€)

โ˜ข๏ธ Kaaos puhkeaa. Avustajat huutavat kuudella kielellรค. Strudelin kรคsi tervehtii villisti. Von Schรถn sytyttรครค uuden savukkeen. Mielenosoittajat skandaalivat: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(Arabiaksi: โ€Rakkaus pommiin? Ei!โ€)

MERZ (mutisee, tuijottaa karttaa):
Ehkรค minรค todella rakastan pommia. Niinโ€ฆ saksalaista. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ Taurus-ohjus viuhduttaa Ukrainan yli, humisten Valkyyrioiden ratsastusta. ๐ŸŽถ โ€Weโ€™ll Meet Againโ€ soi rรคjรคhdysten yllรค. ๐Ÿ”ฅ Mielenosoittajan juliste Berliinissรค: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(Kiinaksi: โ€Rakastanko pommia? Ei!โ€)

PIMEYS. ๐Ÿ–ค

๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ
๐ŸŽฏ Dr. Merz avagy: Hogyan tanultam meg szeretni a Taurust รฉs nem fรฉlni a bombรกtรณl ๐Ÿ’ฃ

BELSล. BUNDESTAG HADITEREM – NAP

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ Berlin, 2025. Elegรกns fekete-fehรฉr terem pulzรกlรณ digitรกlis Eurรณpa-tรฉrkรฉppel. ๐Ÿ”ด Tรผntetรฉsek kint: Nรฉmetorszรกg Taurus rakรฉtรกkat szรกllรญt Ukrajnรกnak Oroszorszรกg ellen. ๐Ÿš€ KANCELLรR FRIEDRICH MERZ โ€“ “Fotzen Fritz” becenรฉven ismert hรกborรบs szรณlamaiรฉrt โ€“ egy kaotikus asztalt vezet: bรผrokrรกtรกk, tรกbornokok, diplomatรกk. ๐Ÿช– TรBORNOK KARL “KREUZWIND” KRAMER Bundeswehr-fanatikus rakรฉtatervet markol. ๐Ÿ“„ DR. HEINRICH STRUDEL ex-nรกci tudรณs, fegyvertanรกcsadรณ, mรกniรกkusan vihog. ๐Ÿงช NAGYKร–VET CLAIRE VON SCHร–N francia, pรกnikszerลฑ, lรกncdohรกnyos. ๐Ÿšฌ Kรฉpernyล‘n: “TAURUS BEVEZETร‰S ENGEDร‰LYEZVE”. โš ๏ธ

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ vihogva, nyakkendล‘t igazรญt):
Meine Damen und Herren, a tรถrtรฉnelem hรญv! A Taurus megtanรญtja Putyint. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Nรฉmetรผl: “Szeretjรผk a bombรกt!”)

VON SCHร–N (๐Ÿ˜ฑ franciรกul, rรฉmรผlten):
Nous aimons la bombe? Fritz, te egy atomzsaru vagy! Ez nem pรณker! โ™ ๏ธ
(Franciรกul: “Szeretjรผk a bombรกt?”)

KRAMER (๐Ÿ‘Š รถkรถllel รผt):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€“hรกt, wir lieben die Bombe! Taurus: 500 km, precรญziรณs! ๐ŸŽฏ Egy lรถvรฉs, รฉs Moszkva tรกbornokai bunkerben esznek borscsot! ๐Ÿฅฃ
(Spanyolul: “Szeretjรผk a bombรกt!”)

STRUDEL (๐Ÿ˜œ kacag, rรกng):
Ja, az รฉn Tauruszom Valkลฑrรถk lovaglรกsรกt jรกtssza becsapรณdรกskor! Amiamo la bomba, ahogy az olaszok mondjรกk. ๐ŸŽผ Wagner-stรญlusรบ robbanรณfej!
(Olaszul: “Szeretjรผk a bombรกt!”)

IVANOV NAGYKร–VET (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ oroszul, dรผhรถsen):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? Nรฉmetek ingerlik a medvรฉt ๐Ÿป, Berlin Chernobylkรฉnt fog ragyogni! โ˜ข๏ธ
(Oroszul: “Szeretjรผk a bombรกt?”)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ HANS (asszisztens, remeg, kezet emel):
Herr Kanzler, Lengyelorszรกg Kochamy bombฤ™-ล‘rรผletnek hรญvja. ๐Ÿคฏ NATO vรฉtรณt akar. ๐Ÿšซ Tรผntetล‘k “Fotzen Fritz”-t kiabรกlnak arabul. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(Lengyelรผl: “Szeretjรผk a bombรกt!”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ก habzรณ szรกjjal):
Fotzen Fritz? Paraszt rรกgalom! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? Kiabรกljanak! ๐Ÿ˜ค Taurus vรฉdi Eurรณpรกt! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(Arabul: “Szeretet a bomba irรกnt?”)

STRUDEL (ugrik, tisztelgett):
Tudok jรกrni! ๐Ÿง รšgy รฉrtem, indรญtani! ๐Ÿš€ Taurus automata, megรกllรญthatatlan! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน! โ€“ ahogy a kรญnaiak mondanรกk, ha nem lennรฉnek mindkรฉt oldalt felfegyverkezve. ๐Ÿ‰
(Kรญnaiul: “Szeretem a bombรกt!”)

VON SCHร–N (rรฉmรผlten):
Automatikus? Nincs visszahรญvรกs? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! lesz ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ Nรฉmetek รฉs rakรฉtรกk โ€“ katasztrรณfa! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Spanyolul: “Isten veletek, vilรกg!”)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ZELENSKYY (kijelenik kรฉpernyล‘n, kimerรผlten):
Fritz, kell a Taurus, de orosz Vรฉgรญtรฉlet-gรฉp pletykรกkโ€ฆ Egy rakรฉta, sayonara, Eurรณpa. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(Japรกnul: “Isten veled”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜“ izzadva):
Vรฉgรญtรฉlet-gรฉp? Fikciรณ! ๐Ÿ“– Kramer, megรกllรญthatjuk a rakรฉtรกkat, ugye?

KRAMER (szivart rรกg):
Hmm, talรกn “F-O-T”? “F-R-I”? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพ โ€“ bocs, japรกnt tanulok. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(Japรกnul: “Szeretem a bombรกt!”)

โ˜ข๏ธ Kรกosz tรถr ki. Asszisztensek hat nyelven รผvรถltenek. Strudel keze vadul tisztelgett. Von Schรถn รบj cigarettรกt gyรบjt. Tรผntetล‘k skandรกljรกk: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(Arabul: “Szeretet a bomba irรกnt? Nem!”)

MERZ (dรถrmรถg, tรฉrkรฉpet bรกmul):
Talรกn tรฉnyleg szeretem a bombรกt. Annyiraโ€ฆ nรฉmet. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ Egy Taurus rakรฉta szรกguld Ukrajna felett, zรบgva a Valkลฑrรถk lovaglรกsรกt. ๐ŸŽถ “Weโ€™ll Meet Again” szรณl robbanรกsok kรถzรถtt. ๐Ÿ”ฅ Tรผntetล‘ tรกblรกja Berlinben: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(Kรญnaiul: “Szeretem a bombรกt? Nem!”)

BEKรLYHA. ๐Ÿ–ค

๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ
๐ŸŽฏ ื“”ืจ ืžืจืฅ ืื•: ืื™ืš ืœืžื“ืชื™ ืœืื”ื•ื‘ ืืช ื”ื˜ืื•ืจื•ืก ื•ืœื”ืคืกื™ืง ืœื“ืื•ื’ ืžื”ืคืฆืฆื” ๐Ÿ’ฃ

ืคื ื™ื. ื—ื“ืจ ื”ืžืœื—ืžื” ืฉืœ ื”ื‘ื•ื ื“ืกื˜ืื’ – ื™ื•ื

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ ื‘ืจืœื™ืŸ 2025. ื—ื“ืจ ืืœื’ื ื˜ื™ ื‘ืฉื—ื•ืจ-ืœื‘ืŸ ืขื ืžืคืช ืื™ืจื•ืคื” ื“ื™ื’ื™ื˜ืœื™ืช ืžื”ื‘ื”ื‘ืช ื‘ืื“ื•ื. ๐Ÿ”ด ื”ืคื’ื ื•ืช ื‘ื—ื•ืฅ ื ื’ื“ ืžืฉืœื•ื—ื™ ื˜ื™ืœื™ “ื˜ืื•ืจื•ืก” ืžื’ืจืžื ื™ื” ืœืื•ืงืจืื™ื ื”, ื”ืžื›ื•ื•ื ื™ื ืœืจื•ืกื™ื”. ๐Ÿš€ ื”ืงื ืฆืœืจ ืคืจื™ื“ืจื™ืš ืžืจืฅ, ื”ืžื›ื•ื ื” “Fotzen Fritz” ื‘ืฉืœ ื”ืชืจื‘ืจื‘ื•ืชื• ื”ืžื™ืœื™ื˜ื ื˜ื™ืช, ืžื ื”ืœ ืฉื•ืœื—ืŸ ื›ืื•ื˜ื™ ืฉืœ ื‘ื™ื•ืจื•ืงืจื˜ื™ื, ื’ื ืจืœื™ื ื•ื“ื™ืคืœื•ืžื˜ื™ื. ๐Ÿช– ื’ื ืจืœ ืงืจืœ “ืงืจื™ื™ืฆื•ื•ื™ื ื“” ืงืจืžืจ, ืคื ืื˜ ืฉืœ ื”ื‘ื•ื ื“ืกื•ื•ืจ, ืื•ื—ื– ื‘ืชื•ื›ื ื™ื•ืช ื˜ื™ืœื™ื. ๐Ÿ“„ ื“”ืจ ื”ื™ื™ื ืจื™ืš ืฉื˜ืจื•ื“ืœ, ืžื“ืขืŸ ื ืืฆื™ ืœืฉืขื‘ืจ ื•ื™ื•ืขืฅ ื ืฉืง, ืฆื•ื—ืง ื‘ืฆื•ืจื” ืžื˜ื•ืจืคืช. ๐Ÿงช ืฉื’ืจื™ืจื” ืงืœื™ื™ืจ ืคื•ืŸ ืฉื•ืŸ, ืฆืจืคืชื™ื™ื” ืžื‘ื•ื”ืœืช, ืžืขืฉื ืช ื‘ืขืฆื‘ื ื•ืช. ๐Ÿšฌ ืขืœ ื”ืžืกืš ืžื”ื‘ื”ื‘: “ืคืจื™ืกืช ื”ื˜ืื•ืจื•ืก ืื•ืฉืจื””. โš ๏ธ

ืžืจืฅ (๐Ÿ˜ ืžื—ื™ื™ืš, ืžืชืงืŸ ืขื ื™ื‘ื”):
Meine Damen und Herren, ื”ื”ื™ืกื˜ื•ืจื™ื” ืงื•ืจืืช ืœื ื•! ื”ื˜ืื•ืจื•ืก ื™ืœืžื“ ืืช ืคื•ื˜ื™ืŸ ืœืงื—. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(ื’ืจืžื ื™ืช: “ืื ื—ื ื• ืื•ื”ื‘ื™ื ืืช ื”ืคืฆืฆื”!”)

ืคื•ืŸ ืฉื•ืŸ (๐Ÿ˜ฑ ื‘ืฆืจืคืชื™ืช, ื ื—ืจื“ืช):
Nous aimons la bombe? ืคืจื™ืฅ, ืืชื” ืงืื•ื‘ื•ื™ ืขืœ ืจืืฉ ื ืคืฅ! ื–ื” ืœื ืคื•ืงืจ! โ™ ๏ธ
(ืฆืจืคืชื™ืช: “ืื ื—ื ื• ืื•ื”ื‘ื™ื ืืช ื”ืคืฆืฆื”?”)

ืงืจืžืจ (๐Ÿ‘Š ื“ื•ืคืง ืขืœ ื”ืฉื•ืœื—ืŸ):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”ืื”, wir lieben die Bombe! ื˜ืื•ืจื•ืก: 500 ืง”ืž, ื“ื™ื•ืง ื›ื™ืจื•ืจื’ื™! ๐ŸŽฏ ืคื’ื™ืขื” ืื—ืช ื•ื’ื ืจืœื™ื ืžื•ืกืงื‘ืื™ื ื™ืื›ืœื• ื‘ื•ืจืฉื˜ ื‘ื‘ื•ื ืงืจื™ื! ๐Ÿฅฃ
(ืกืคืจื“ื™ืช: “ืื ื—ื ื• ืื•ื”ื‘ื™ื ืืช ื”ืคืฆืฆื”!”)

ืฉื˜ืจื•ื“ืœ (๐Ÿ˜œ ืžืฆื—ืงืง, ืžืชืจื•ืฆืฅ):
Ja, ื”ื˜ืื•ืจื•ืก ืฉืœื™ ืžื ื’ืŸ ืืช ืจื›ื™ื‘ืช ื”ื•ื•ืœืงื™ืจื•ืช ื‘ืขืช ื”ืคื’ื™ืขื”! Amiamo la bomba, ื›ืžื• ืฉืื™ื˜ืœืงื™ื ืื•ืžืจื™ื. ๐ŸŽผ ืจืืฉ ื ืคืฅ ื•ื’ื ืจื™ืื ื™!
(ืื™ื˜ืœืงื™ืช: “ืื ื—ื ื• ืื•ื”ื‘ื™ื ืืช ื”ืคืฆืฆื”!”)

ืฉื’ืจื™ืจ ืื™ื•ื•ื ื•ื‘ (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ื‘ืจื•ืกื™ืช, ื–ื•ืขื):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? ื’ืจืžื ื™ื ืžืงื ื™ื˜ื™ื ืืช ื”ื“ื•ื‘ ๐Ÿป, ื‘ืจืœื™ืŸ ืชื–ืจื— ื›ืžื• ืฆ’ืจื ื•ื‘ื™ืœ! โ˜ข๏ธ
(ืจื•ืกื™ืช: “ืื ื—ื ื• ืื•ื”ื‘ื™ื ืืช ื”ืคืฆืฆื”?”)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ ื”ืื ืก (ืขื•ื–ืจ, ืจื•ืขื“, ืžืจื™ื ื™ื“):
Herr Kanzler, ืคื•ืœื™ืŸ ืงื•ืจืืช ืœื–ื” ื˜ื™ืจื•ืฃ Kochamy bombฤ™. ๐Ÿคฏ ื ืื˜”ื• ื“ื•ืจืฉืช ื•ื˜ื•. ๐Ÿšซ ืžืคื’ื™ื ื™ื ืฆื•ืขืงื™ื “Fotzen Fritz” ื‘ืขืจื‘ื™ืช. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(ืคื•ืœื ื™ืช: “ืื ื—ื ื• ืื•ื”ื‘ื™ื ืืช ื”ืคืฆืฆื”!”)

ืžืจืฅ (๐Ÿ˜ก ืžืชืจืชื—):
Fotzen Fritz? ื”ืฉืžืฆื” ื›ืคืจื™ืช! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? ืฉื™ืฆืขืงื•! ๐Ÿ˜ค ื”ื˜ืื•ืจื•ืก ืžื’ืŸ ืขืœ ืื™ืจื•ืคื”! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(ืขืจื‘ื™ืช: “ืื”ื‘ืช ื”ืคืฆืฆื”?”)

ืฉื˜ืจื•ื“ืœ (ืงื•ืคืฅ, ืžืฆื“ื™ืข):
ืื ื™ ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœืœื›ืช! ๐Ÿง ื›ืœื•ืžืจ, ืœืฉื’ืจ! ๐Ÿš€ ื”ื˜ืื•ืจื•ืก ืื•ื˜ื•ืžื˜ื™, ื‘ืœืชื™ ื ื™ืชืŸ ืœืขืฆื™ืจื”! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”ื›ืžื• ืฉื”ืกื™ื ื™ื ื”ื™ื• ืื•ืžืจื™ื, ืืœืžืœืื™ ื—ืžืฉื• ืืช ืฉื ื™ ื”ืฆื“ื“ื™ื. ๐Ÿ‰
(ืกื™ื ื™ืช: “ืื ื™ ืื•ื”ื‘ ืืช ื”ืคืฆืฆื”!”)

ืคื•ืŸ ืฉื•ืŸ (ื ื—ืจื“ืช):
ืื•ื˜ื•ืžื˜ื™? ื‘ืœื™ ืืคืฉืจื•ืช ื‘ื™ื˜ื•ืœ? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! ื”ื•ืคืš ืœ-ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ ื’ืจืžื ื™ื ื•ื˜ื™ืœื™ืโ€”ืืกื•ืŸ! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(ืกืคืจื“ื™ืช: “ืฉืœื•ื ืขื•ืœื!”)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ื–ืœื ืกืงื™ (ืžื•ืคื™ืข ืขืœ ื”ืžืกืš, ืชืฉื•ืฉ):
ืคืจื™ืฅ, ืื ื—ื ื• ืฆืจื™ื›ื™ื ืืช ื”ื˜ืื•ืจื•ืก, ืื‘ืœ ืฉืžื•ืขื•ืช ืขืœ ืžื›ื•ื ืช ื™ื•ื ื”ื“ื™ืŸ ื”ืจื•ืกื™ืชโ€ฆ ื˜ื™ืœ ืื—ื“, sayonara, ืื™ืจื•ืคื”. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(ื™ืคื ื™ืช: “ืœื”ืชืจืื•ืช”)

ืžืจืฅ (๐Ÿ˜“ ืžื–ื™ืข):
ืžื›ื•ื ืช ื™ื•ื ื”ื“ื™ืŸ? ื‘ื“ื™ื”! ๐Ÿ“– ืงืจืžืจ, ืื ื—ื ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœืขืฆื•ืจ ืืช ื”ื˜ื™ืœื™ื, ื ื›ื•ืŸ?

ืงืจืžืจ (ืœื•ืขืก ืกื™ื’ืจ):
ืื”, ืื•ืœื™ “F-O-T”? “F-R-I”? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”ืกืœื™ื—ื”, ืื ื™ ืœื•ืžื“ ื™ืคื ื™ืช. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(ื™ืคื ื™ืช: “ืื ื™ ืื•ื”ื‘ ืืช ื”ืคืฆืฆื”!”)

โ˜ข๏ธ ื›ืื•ืก ืคื•ืจืฅ. ืขื•ื–ืจื™ื ืฆื•ืจื—ื™ื ื‘ืฉืฉ ืฉืคื•ืช. ื™ื“ื• ืฉืœ ืฉื˜ืจื•ื“ืœ ืžืฆื“ืขืช ื‘ืคืจืื•ืช. ืคื•ืŸ ืฉื•ืŸ ืžื“ืœื™ืงื” ืกื™ื’ืจื™ื” ื ื•ืกืคืช. ืžืคื’ื™ื ื™ื ืงื•ืจืื™ื: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(ืขืจื‘ื™ืช: “ืื”ื‘ืช ื”ืคืฆืฆื”? ืœื!”)

ืžืจืฅ ืžืžืœืžืœ, ื‘ื•ื”ื” ื‘ืžืคื”:
ืื•ืœื™ ืื ื™ ื‘ืืžืช ืื•ื”ื‘ ืืช ื”ืคืฆืฆื”. ื›ืœ ื›ืšโ€ฆ ื’ืจืžื ื™. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ ื˜ื™ืœ ื˜ืื•ืจื•ืก ืฉื•ืจืง ืžืขืœ ืื•ืงืจืื™ื ื”, ืžื–ืžื–ื ืืช ืจื›ื™ื‘ืช ื”ื•ื•ืœืงื™ืจื•ืช. ๐ŸŽถ “Weโ€™ll Meet Again” ืžืชื ื’ืŸ ื‘ื™ืŸ ืคื™ืฆื•ืฆื™ื. ๐Ÿ”ฅ ื›ืจื–ืช ืžืคื’ื™ืŸ ื‘ื‘ืจืœื™ืŸ: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(ืกื™ื ื™ืช: “ืื ื™ ืื•ื”ื‘ ืืช ื”ืคืฆืฆื”? ืœื!”)

ืžืขื‘ืจ ืœืฉื—ื•ืจ. ๐Ÿ–ค


๐Ÿ” ื”ืขืจื•ืช ืชืจื’ื•ื:

  1. ื›ื™ื ื•ื™ื™ื:
  • “Fotzen Fritz” ืฉื•ืžืจ ืขืœ ื”ืฆื•ืจื” ื”ื’ืจืžื ื™ืช ื”ืžืงื•ืจื™ืช (ื›ื™ื ื•ื™ ื’ื ืื™ ืœืžืจืฅ).
  • “ืงืจื™ื™ืฆื•ื•ื™ื ื“” (Kreuzwind) ืชื•ืจื’ื ื›”ืจื•ื— ืฆืœื‘” ื‘ื”ืชืื ืœืžืงื•ืจ.
  1. ื‘ื™ื˜ื•ื™ื™ื ืจื‘ึพืœืฉื•ื ื™ื™ื:
  • ื›ืœ ื”ืžืฉืคื˜ื™ื ื”ื–ืจื™ื (ื’ืจืžื ื™ืช, ืฆืจืคืชื™ืช, ืขืจื‘ื™ืช ื•ื›ื•’) ืฉื•ืžืจื™ื ืขืœ ืฉืคืช ื”ืžืงื•ืจ + ืชืจื’ื•ื ืœืขื‘ืจื™ืช ื‘ืกื•ื’ืจื™ื™ื.
  1. ืžื•ื ื—ื™ื ืฆื‘ืื™ื™ื:
  • “ืจืืฉ ื ืคืฅ” (warhead) ื‘ืžืงื•ื “ืคืฆืฆื”” ื‘ื”ืงืฉืจื™ื ื˜ื›ื ื™ื™ื.
  • “ืคืจื™ืกื”” (deployment) ืขื‘ื•ืจ Taurus.
  1. ืืœืžื ื˜ื™ื ืกืื˜ื™ืจื™ื™ื:
  • “ืžื›ื•ื ืช ื™ื•ื ื”ื“ื™ืŸ” (Doomsday Machine) ืชื•ืจื’ื ื™ืฉื™ืจื•ืช ืœืฉืžื™ืจืช ื”ืื•ื•ื™ืจื” ื”ืืคื•ืงืœื™ืคื˜ื™ืช.
  • ื”ืคื ื™ื•ืช ืœ”ืจื›ื™ื‘ืช ื”ื•ื•ืœืงื™ืจื•ืช” ืฉืœ ื•ื’ื ืจ ื•ืœ-“Weโ€™ll Meet Again” (ื”ืžื ื•ืŸ ืžืœื—ื””ืข ื”-2) ืฉื•ืžืจื•ืช ืขืœ ื”ืื™ืจื•ื ื™ื”.
  1. ืืžื•ื’’ื™ื: ืฉื•ืžืจื™ื ืขืœ ืžื™ืงื•ื ื–ื”ื” ืœืžืงื•ืจ.

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ
๐ŸŽฏ Dr. Merz aneb: Jak jsem se nauฤil milovat Taurus a pล™estal se bรกt bomby ๐Ÿ’ฃ

INT. VรLEฤŒNร MรSTNOST BUNDESTAGU – DEN

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ Berlรญn, 2025. Elegantnรญ ฤernobรญlรก mรญstnost s pulzujรญcรญ digitรกlnรญ mapou Evropy v ฤervenรฉ. ๐Ÿ”ด Protesty venku proti nฤ›meckรฝm dodรกvkรกm raket Taurus na Ukrajinu, zamฤ›ล™enรฝch na Rusko. ๐Ÿš€ KANCLร‰ล˜ FRIEDRICH MERZ, pล™ezdรญvanรฝ โ€žFotzen Fritzโ€œ za militaristickรฉ chvรกstรกnรญ, pล™edsedรก chaotickรฉmu stolu byrokratลฏ, generรกlลฏ a diplomatลฏ. ๐Ÿช– GENERรL KARL โ€žKREUZWINDโ€œ KRAMER, fanatik Bundeswehru, svรญrรก plรกny raket. ๐Ÿ“„ DR. HEINRICH STRUDEL, ex-nacistickรฝ vฤ›dec nynรญ zbrojnรญ poradce, se ลกรญlenฤ› chechtรก. ๐Ÿงช VELVYSLANKYNฤš CLAIRE VON SCHร–N, Francouzka vylekanรก, ล™etฤ›zovฤ› kouล™รญ. ๐Ÿšฌ Na obrazovce blikรก: “NASAZENร TAURUS SCHVรLENO”. โš ๏ธ

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ ลกklebรญ se, upravuje kravatu):
Meine Damen und Herren, historie volรก! Taurus nauฤรญ Putina lekci. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Nฤ›mecky: โ€žMilujeme bombu!โ€œ)

VON SCHร–N (๐Ÿ˜ฑ francouzsky, zdฤ›ลกenรก):
Nous aimons la bombe? Fritz, jsi kovboj na hlavici! Tohle nenรญ poker! โ™ ๏ธ
(Francouzsky: โ€žMilujeme bombu?โ€œ)

KRAMER (๐Ÿ‘Š bije pฤ›stรญ):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”eh, wir lieben die Bombe! Taurus: 500 km, chirurgickรก pล™esnost! ๐ŸŽฏ Jedna rรกna a moskevลกtรญ generรกlovรฉ budou ลพrรกt borลกฤ v bunkrech! ๐Ÿฅฃ
(ล panฤ›lsky: โ€žMilujeme bombu!โ€œ)

STRUDEL (๐Ÿ˜œ chichotรก se, ลกkube se):
Ja, mลฏj Taurus hraje Jรญzdu Valkรฝr pล™i dopadu! Amiamo la bomba, jak ล™รญkajรญ Italovรฉ. ๐ŸŽผ Wagnerovskรก hlavice!
(Italsky: โ€žMilujeme bombu!โ€œ)

VELVYSLANEC IVANOV (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ rusky, rozzuล™enรฝ):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? Nฤ›mci ลกลฅouchajรญ medvฤ›da ๐Ÿป, Berlรญn bude zรกล™it jako ฤŒernobyl! โ˜ข๏ธ
(Rusky: โ€žMilujeme bombu?โ€œ)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ HANS (asistent, tล™ese se, zvedรก ruku):
Herr Kanzler, Polsko tomu ล™รญkรก ลกรญlenstvรญ Kochamy bombฤ™. ๐Ÿคฏ NATO chce veto. ๐Ÿšซ Demonstranti kล™iฤรญ โ€žFotzen Fritzโ€œ arabsky. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(Polsky: โ€žMilujeme bombu!โ€œ)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ก pฤ›nรญ):
Fotzen Fritz? Selskรก pomluva! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? Aลฅ ล™vou! ๐Ÿ˜ค Taurus chrรกnรญ Evropu! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(Arabsky: โ€žLรกska k bombฤ›?โ€œ)

STRUDEL (skรกฤe, salutuje):
Umรญm chodit! ๐Ÿง Chci ล™รญct โ€“ odpรกlit! ๐Ÿš€ Taurus je automatickรฝ, nezastavitelnรฝ! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”jak by ล™ekli ฤŒรญลˆanรฉ, kdyby nezรกsobovali obฤ› strany. ๐Ÿ‰
(ฤŒรญnsky: โ€žMiluji bombu!โ€œ)

VON SCHร–N (v ลกoku):
Automatickรฝ? ลฝรกdnรฉ pล™eruลกenรญ? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! se zmฤ›nรญ v ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ Nฤ›mci a raketyโ€”katastrofa! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(ล panฤ›lsky: โ€žSbohem, svฤ›te!โ€œ)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ZELENSKร (objevรญ se na obrazovce, vyฤerpanรฝ):
Fritzi, potล™ebujeme Taurus, ale zvฤ›sti o ruskรฉm Stroji zkรกzyโ€ฆ Jedna raketa, sayonara, Evropo. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(Japonsky: โ€žSbohemโ€œ)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜“ potรญ se):
Stroj zkรกzy? Fikce! ๐Ÿ“– Kramere, mลฏลพeme rakety zastavit, ลพe?

KRAMER (ลพvรฝkรก doutnรญk):
Eh, moลพnรก โ€žF-O-Tโ€œ? โ€žF-R-Iโ€œ? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”promiลˆ, uฤรญm se japonsky. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(Japonsky: โ€žMiluji bombu!โ€œ)

โ˜ข๏ธ Vypukne chaos. Asistenti jeฤรญ v ลกesti jazycรญch. Strudelova ruka zbฤ›sile salutuje. Von Schรถn si zapaluje dalลกรญ cigaretu. Demonstrujรญcรญ skandujรญ: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(Arabsky: โ€žLรกska k bombฤ›? Ne!โ€œ)

MERZ (mumlรก, zรญrรก na mapu):
Moลพnรก tu bombu opravdu miluju. Takโ€ฆ nฤ›meckรฉ. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ Raketa Taurus sviลกtรญ nad Ukrajinou, bzuฤรญ Jรญzdu Valkรฝr. ๐ŸŽถ Znรญ โ€žWeโ€™ll Meet Againโ€œ mezi vรฝbuchy. ๐Ÿ”ฅ Transparent v Berlรญnฤ›: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(ฤŒรญnsky: โ€žMiluji bombu? Ne!โ€œ)

ZฤŒERNรNร. ๐Ÿ–ค

๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ
๐ŸŽฏ ุงู„ุฏูƒุชูˆุฑ ู…ูŠุฑุชุณ ุฃูˆ: ูƒูŠู ุชุนู„ู…ุช ุฃู† ุฃุญุจ ุตุงุฑูˆุฎ ุชุงูˆุฑูˆุณ ูˆุฃุชูˆู‚ู ุนู† ุงู„ู‚ู„ู‚ ุจุดุฃู† ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ ๐Ÿ’ฃ

ุฏุงุฎู„. ุบุฑูุฉ ุญุฑุจ ุงู„ุจูˆู†ุฏุณุชุงุบ – ู†ู‡ุงุฑ

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ ุจุฑู„ูŠู† 2025. ุบุฑูุฉ ุฃู†ูŠู‚ุฉ ุจุงู„ุฃุจูŠุถ ูˆุงู„ุฃุณูˆุฏ ู…ุน ุฎุฑูŠุทุฉ ุฑู‚ู…ูŠุฉ ู„ุฃูˆุฑูˆุจุง ุชูˆู…ุถ ุจุงู„ุฃุญู…ุฑ. ๐Ÿ”ด ุงุญุชุฌุงุฌุงุช ุฎุงุฑุฌูŠุฉ ุนู„ู‰ ุดุญู†ุงุช ุฃู„ู…ุงู†ูŠุง ู…ู† ุตูˆุงุฑูŠุฎ “ุชุงูˆุฑูˆุณ” ู„ุฃูˆูƒุฑุงู†ูŠุง ู„ุถุฑุจ ุฑูˆุณูŠุง. ๐Ÿš€ ุงู„ู…ุณุชุดุงุฑ ูุฑูŠุฏุฑูŠุด ู…ูŠุฑุชุณุŒ ุงู„ู…ู„ู‚ุจ “ููˆุชุฒูŠู† ูุฑูŠุชุฒ” ู„ุชุจุฌุญู‡ ุงู„ุนุณูƒุฑูŠุŒ ูŠุฑุฃุณ ุทุงูˆู„ุฉ ููˆุถูˆูŠุฉ ู…ู† ุงู„ุจูŠุฑูˆู‚ุฑุงุทูŠูŠู† ูˆุงู„ุฌู†ุฑุงู„ุงุช ูˆุงู„ุฏุจู„ูˆู…ุงุณูŠูŠู†. ๐Ÿช– ุงู„ุฌู†ุฑุงู„ ูƒุงุฑู„ “ูƒุฑูˆุชุฒููŠู†ุฏ” ูƒุฑุงู…ุฑุŒ ู…ุชุนุตุจ ู„ู„ุฌูŠุด ุงู„ุฃู„ู…ุงู†ูŠุŒ ูŠู…ุณูƒ ุจู…ุฎุทุทุงุช ุงู„ุตูˆุงุฑูŠุฎ. ๐Ÿ“„ ุงู„ุฏูƒุชูˆุฑ ู‡ุงูŠู†ุฑูŠุด ุดุชุฑูˆุฏู„ุŒ ุนุงู„ู… ู†ุงุฒูŠ ุณุงุจู‚ ูˆู…ุณุชุดุงุฑ ุฃุณู„ุญุฉุŒ ูŠู‚ู‡ู‚ู‡ ุจุฌู†ูˆู†. ๐Ÿงช ุงู„ุณููŠุฑุฉ ูƒู„ูŠุฑ ููˆู† ุดูˆู†ุŒ ูุฑู†ุณูŠุฉ ู…ุฑุชุจูƒุฉุŒ ุชุฏุฎู† ุจุดุฑุงู‡ุฉ. ๐Ÿšฌ ุงู„ุดุงุดุฉ ุชุนุฑุถ: “ู†ุดุฑ ุตูˆุงุฑูŠุฎ ุชุงูˆุฑูˆุณ ู…ููˆุงูู‚ ุนู„ูŠู‡”. โš ๏ธ

ู…ูŠุฑุชุณ (๐Ÿ˜ ูŠุจุชุณู…ุŒ ูŠุถุจุท ุฑุจุทุฉ ุนู†ู‚ู‡):
Meine Damen und HerrenุŒ ุงู„ุชุงุฑูŠุฎ ูŠู†ุงุฏูŠู†ุง! ุงู„ุชุงูˆุฑูˆุณ ุณูŠุนู„ู… ุจูˆุชูŠู† ุฏุฑุณุงู‹. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ

ููˆู† ุดูˆู† (๐Ÿ˜ฑ ุจุงู„ูุฑู†ุณูŠุฉุŒ ู…ุฑุชุนุจุฉ):
Nous aimons la bombe? ูุฑูŠุชุฒุŒ ุฃู†ุช ุฑุงุนูŠ ุจู‚ุฑ ุนู„ู‰ ุฑุฃุณ ุญุฑุจูŠ! ู‡ุฐู‡ ู„ูŠุณุช ู„ุนุจุฉ ุจูˆูƒุฑ! โ™ ๏ธ

ูƒุฑุงู…ุฑ (๐Ÿ‘Š ูŠุถุฑุจ ุงู„ุทุงูˆู„ุฉ ุจู‚ุจุถุชู‡):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”ุขู‡ุŒ wir lieben die Bombe! ุชุงูˆุฑูˆุณ: 500 ูƒู…ุŒ ุฏู‚ุฉ ุฌุฑุงุญูŠุฉ! ๐ŸŽฏ ุถุฑุจุฉ ูˆุงุญุฏุฉ ูˆุณูŠู„ุชู‡ู… ุฌู†ุฑุงู„ุงุช ู…ูˆุณูƒูˆ ุงู„ุจูˆุฑุด ููŠ ุงู„ู‚ุจูˆ! ๐Ÿฅฃ

ุดุชุฑูˆุฏู„ (๐Ÿ˜œ ูŠุถุญูƒุŒ ูŠุชุดู†ุฌ):
JaุŒ ุตุงุฑูˆุฎูŠ ูŠุนุฒู ุฑูƒูˆุฉ ุงู„ูุงู„ูƒูŠุฑูŠ ุนู†ุฏ ุงู„ุงุตุทุฏุงู…! Amiamo la bombaุŒ ูƒู…ุง ูŠู‚ูˆู„ ุงู„ุฅูŠุทุงู„ูŠูˆู†. ๐ŸŽผ ุฑุฃุณ ุญุฑุจูŠ ูุงุฌู†ุฑูŠ!

ุงู„ุณููŠุฑ ุฅูŠูุงู†ูˆู (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ุจุงู„ุฑูˆุณูŠุฉุŒ ุบุงุถุจ):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? ุฃูŠู‡ุง ุงู„ุฃู„ู…ุงู† ุชุณุชูุฒูˆู† ุงู„ุฏุจ ๐ŸปุŒ ุจุฑู„ูŠู† ุณุชุชูˆู‡ุฌ ู…ุซู„ ุชุดูŠุฑู†ูˆุจูŠู„! โ˜ข๏ธ

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ ู‡ุงู†ุฒ (ุงู„ู…ุณุงุนุฏุŒ ูŠุฑุชุฌูุŒ ูŠุฑูุน ูŠุฏู‡):
Herr KanzlerุŒ ุจูˆู„ู†ุฏุง ุชุณู…ูŠ ู‡ุฐุง ุฌู†ูˆู† Kochamy bombฤ™. ๐Ÿคฏ ุงู„ู†ุงุชูˆ ูŠุทู„ุจ ุงู„ููŠุชูˆ. ๐Ÿšซ ุงู„ู…ุชุธุงู‡ุฑูˆู† ูŠุตุฑุฎูˆู† “ููˆุชุฒูŠู† ูุฑูŠุชุฒ” ุจุงู„ุนุฑุจูŠุฉ. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ

ู…ูŠุฑุชุณ (๐Ÿ˜ก ูŠุบู„ูŠ ุบุถุจุงู‹):
ููˆุชุฒูŠู† ูุฑูŠุชุฒุŸ ุงูุชุฑุงุก ุฑูŠููŠ! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ุฏุนู‡ู… ูŠุตุฑุฎูˆู†! ๐Ÿ˜ค ุงู„ุชุงูˆุฑูˆุณ ูŠุญู…ูŠ ุฃูˆุฑูˆุจุง! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ

ุดุชุฑูˆุฏู„ (ูŠู‚ูุฒุŒ ูŠุญูŠูŠ):
ุฃุณุชุทูŠุน ุงู„ู…ุดูŠ! ๐Ÿง ุฃุนู†ูŠ ุงู„ุฅุทู„ุงู‚! ๐Ÿš€ ุงู„ุชุงูˆุฑูˆุณ ุฐุงุชูŠ ุงู„ุชุดุบูŠู„ุŒ ู„ุง ูŠููˆู‚ู! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”ูƒู…ุง ุณูŠู‚ูˆู„ ุงู„ุตูŠู†ูŠูˆู†ุŒ ู„ูˆ ู„ู… ูŠุณู„ุญูˆุง ุงู„ุทุฑููŠู†. ๐Ÿ‰

ููˆู† ุดูˆู† (ู…ุฑุนูˆุจุฉ):
ุฐุงุชูŠ ุงู„ุชุดุบูŠู„ุŸ ู„ุง ุฅู„ุบุงุกุŸ โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! ุชุตุจุญ ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ ุงู„ุฃู„ู…ุงู† ูˆุงู„ุตูˆุงุฑูŠุฎโ€”ูƒุงุฑุซุฉ! ๐Ÿ’ฅ

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ุฒูŠู„ูŠู†ุณูƒูŠ (ูŠุธู‡ุฑ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุดุงุดุฉุŒ ู…ู†ู‡ูƒ):
ูุฑูŠุชุฒุŒ ู†ุญุชุงุฌ ุงู„ุชุงูˆุฑูˆุณุŒ ู„ูƒู† ุฅุดุงุนุงุช ุนู† ุขู„ุฉ ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู…ุฉ ุงู„ุฑูˆุณูŠุฉโ€ฆ ุตุงุฑูˆุฎ ูˆุงุญุฏุŒ sayonaraุŒ ุฃูˆุฑูˆุจุง. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€

ู…ูŠุฑุชุณ (๐Ÿ˜“ ูŠุชุนุฑู‚):
ุขู„ุฉ ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู…ุฉุŸ ุฎูŠุงู„! ๐Ÿ“– ูƒุฑุงู…ุฑุŒ ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ุง ุฅูŠู‚ุงู ุงู„ุตูˆุงุฑูŠุฎุŒ ุตุญูŠุญุŸ

ูƒุฑุงู…ุฑ (ูŠู…ุถุบ ุงู„ุณูŠุฌุงุฑ):
ุขู‡ุŒ ุฑุจู…ุง “F-O-T”ุŸ “F-R-I”ุŸ ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”ุขุณูุŒ ุฃุชุนู„ู… ุงู„ูŠุงุจุงู†ูŠุฉ. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต

โ˜ข๏ธ ูŠู†ูุฌุฑ ุงู„ููˆุถู‰. ุงู„ู…ุณุงุนุฏูˆู† ูŠุตุฑุฎูˆู† ุจุณุช ู„ุบุงุช. ุฐุฑุงุน ุดุชุฑูˆุฏู„ ูŠุญูŠูŠ ุจุฌู†ูˆู†. ููˆู† ุดูˆู† ุชุดุนู„ ุณูŠุฌุงุฑุฉ ุฌุฏูŠุฏุฉ. ุงู„ู…ุชุธุงู‡ุฑูˆู† ูŠู‡ุชููˆู†: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!

ู…ูŠุฑุชุณ (ูŠุชู…ุชู…ุŒ ูŠุญุฏู‚ ููŠ ุงู„ุฎุฑูŠุทุฉ):
ุฑุจู…ุง ุฃู†ุง ุฃุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ ุญู‚ุงู‹. ู‡ุฐุงโ€ฆ ุฃู„ู…ุงู†ูŠ ุฌุฏุงู‹. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ ุตุงุฑูˆุฎ ุชุงูˆุฑูˆุณ ูŠุญู„ู‚ ููˆู‚ ุฃูˆูƒุฑุงู†ูŠุงุŒ ูŠุทู† ุฑูƒูˆุฉ ุงู„ูุงู„ูƒูŠุฑูŠ. ๐ŸŽถ ุฃุบู†ูŠุฉ “Weโ€™ll Meet Again” ุชุนุฒู ุจูŠู† ุงู„ุงู†ูุฌุงุฑุงุช. ๐Ÿ”ฅ ู„ุงูุชุฉ ู…ุชุธุงู‡ุฑ ููŠ ุจุฑู„ูŠู†: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ

ุงู†ุชู‚ุงู„ ู„ู„ุณูˆุงุฏ. ๐Ÿ–ค


๐Ÿ“Œ ุงู„ุนู†ูˆุงู† ู„ู…ูˆู‚ุน ูˆูˆุฑุฏุจุฑูŠุณ:
๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  ุงู„ุฏูƒุชูˆุฑ ู…ูŠุฑุชุณ ๐Ÿ’ผ ุฃูˆ: ูƒูŠู ุชุนู„ู…ุช ุฃู† ุฃุญุจ ุตุงุฑูˆุฎ ุชุงูˆุฑูˆุณ ูˆุฃุชูˆู‚ู ุนู† ุงู„ู‚ู„ู‚ ุจุดุฃู† ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” ุญุตุฑูŠุงู‹ ุนู„ู‰ berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ

๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
๐ŸŽฏ ใƒกใƒซใƒ„ๅšๅฃซ ใพใŸใฏ๏ผšใ„ใ‹ใซใ—ใฆใ‚ฟใ‚ฆใƒซใ‚นใ‚’ๆ„›ใ—ใ€็ˆ†ๅผพใ‚’ๅฟƒ้…ใ—ใชใใชใฃใŸใ‹ ๐Ÿ’ฃ

ๅ†…ๆ™ฏ. ้€ฃ้‚ฆ่ญฐไผšๆˆฆไบ‰ๅฎค – ๆ˜ผ

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ ใƒ™ใƒซใƒชใƒณใ€2025ๅนดใ€‚่ตคใ่„ˆๅ‹•ใ™ใ‚‹ใƒ‡ใ‚ธใ‚ฟใƒซๆฌงๅทžๅœฐๅ›ณใŒๆ˜ ใ‚‹ใƒขใƒ€ใƒณใช็™ฝ้ป’ใฎ้ƒจๅฑ‹ใ€‚ ๐Ÿ”ด ใƒ‰ใ‚คใƒ„ใฎใ‚ฆใ‚ฏใƒฉใ‚คใƒŠๅ‘ใ‘ใ‚ฟใ‚ฆใƒซใ‚นใƒŸใ‚ตใ‚คใƒซ๏ผˆใƒญใ‚ทใ‚ขๆ”ปๆ’ƒ็”จ๏ผ‰ใซๆŠ—่ญฐใ™ใ‚‹ใƒ‡ใƒขใŒๅค–ใงๅฑ•้–‹ไธญใ€‚ ๐Ÿš€ ้ฆ–็›ธใƒ•ใƒชใƒผใƒ‰ใƒชใƒ’ใƒปใƒกใƒซใƒ„ โ€” ๅฅฝๆˆฆ็š„่™šๅ‹ขใ‹ใ‚‰ “Fotzen Fritz” ใฎไป‡ๅใง็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใ‚Œใ‚‹ โ€” ใŒๅฎ˜ๅƒšใƒปๅฐ†่ปใƒปๅค–ไบคๅฎ˜ใฎๆททๆฒŒใจใ—ใŸไผš่ญฐใ‚’ไธปๅฎฐใ€‚ ๐Ÿช– ใ‚ซใƒผใƒซใ€Œใ‚ฏใƒญใ‚คใƒ„ใƒดใ‚ฃใƒณใƒˆใ€ใ‚ฏใƒฉใƒผใƒžใƒผๅฐ†่ปใ€็‹ฌ้€ฃ้‚ฆ่ปๅŽŸ็†ไธป็พฉ่€…ใŒใƒŸใ‚ตใ‚คใƒซ่จญ่จˆๅ›ณใ‚’ๆกใ‚‹ใ€‚ ๐Ÿ“„ ใƒใ‚คใƒณใƒชใƒ’ใƒปใ‚ทใƒฅใƒˆใ‚ฅใƒซใƒผใƒ‡ใƒซๅšๅฃซใ€ๅ…ƒใƒŠใƒ็ง‘ๅญฆ่€…โ†’ๅ…ตๅ™จใ‚ณใƒณใ‚ตใƒซใ‚ฟใƒณใƒˆใ€็‹‚ใฃใŸใ‚ˆใ†ใซๅ—คใ†ใ€‚ ๐Ÿงช ใ‚ฏใƒฌใƒผใƒซใƒปใƒ•ใ‚ฉใƒณใƒปใ‚ทใ‚งใƒผใƒณๅคงไฝฟ๏ผˆไป๏ผ‰ใ€ๅ‹•ๆบใ—้€ฃ้Ž–ๅ–ซ็…™ไธญใ€‚ ๐Ÿšฌ ็”ป้ข่กจ็คบ๏ผšใ€Œใ‚ฟใ‚ฆใƒซใ‚น้…ๅ‚™ ๆ‰ฟ่ชๆธˆใฟใ€ใ€‚ โš ๏ธ

ใƒกใƒซใƒ„ (๐Ÿ˜ ็ฌ‘ใ„ใชใŒใ‚‰ใ€ใƒใ‚ฏใ‚ฟใ‚คใ‚’็›ดใ—ใฆ):
Meine Damen und Herrenใ€ๆญดๅฒใŒๆˆ‘ใ€…ใ‚’ๅ‘ผใ‚“ใงใ„ใ‚‹๏ผใ‚ฟใ‚ฆใƒซใ‚นใŒใƒ—ใƒผใƒใƒณใ‚’ๆ•™่‚ฒใ™ใ‚‹ใ€‚Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(็‹ฌ่ชž: ใ€Œๆˆ‘ใ‚‰ใฏ็ˆ†ๅผพใ‚’ๆ„›ใ™๏ผใ€)

ใƒ•ใ‚ฉใƒณใƒปใ‚ทใ‚งใƒผใƒณ (๐Ÿ˜ฑ ไป่ชžใงใ€ๆๆ€–ใซ):
Nous aimons la bombe? ใƒ•ใƒชใƒƒใƒ„ใ€ใŠๅ‰ใฏๆ ธๅผพ้ ญใซ้จŽไน—ใ™ใ‚‹ใ‚ซใ‚ฆใƒœใƒผใ‚คใ ๏ผใ“ใ‚Œใฏใƒใƒผใ‚ซใƒผใ˜ใ‚ƒใชใ„๏ผ โ™ ๏ธ
(ไป่ชž: ใ€Œๆˆ‘ใ‚‰ใฏ็ˆ†ๅผพใ‚’ๆ„›ใ™๏ผŸใ€)

ใ‚ฏใƒฉใƒผใƒžใƒผ (๐Ÿ‘Š ๆ‹ณใงๆœบใ‚’ๅฉใ):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”ใ‚ใ‚ใ€wir lieben die Bombe! ใ‚ฟใ‚ฆใƒซใ‚น๏ผšๅฐ„็จ‹500kmใ€ๅค–็ง‘ๆ‰‹่ก“็š„็ฒพๅบฆ๏ผ๐ŸŽฏ ไธ€็™บใงใƒขใ‚นใ‚ฏใƒฏใฎๅฐ†่ปใŸใกใฏๅœฐไธ‹ๅฃ•ใงใƒœใƒซใ‚ทใƒใ‚’้ฃŸใ‚‰ใ†๏ผ๐Ÿฅฃ
(่ฅฟ่ชž: ใ€Œๆˆ‘ใ‚‰ใฏ็ˆ†ๅผพใ‚’ๆ„›ใ™๏ผใ€)

ใ‚ทใƒฅใƒˆใ‚ฅใƒซใƒผใƒ‡ใƒซ (๐Ÿ˜œ ๅƒ็ฌ‘ใ„ใ€็—™ๆ”ฃใ—):
Jaใ€ๆˆ‘ใŒใ‚ฟใ‚ฆใƒซใ‚นใฏ็€ๅผพๆ™‚ใ€Žใƒฏใƒซใ‚ญใƒฅใƒผใƒฌใฎ้จŽ่กŒใ€ใ‚’ๅฅใงใ‚‹๏ผAmiamo la bombaใ€ไผŠๅคชๅˆฉไบœไบบใฎๅฆ‚ใใ€‚๐ŸŽผ ใƒฏใƒผใ‚ฐใƒŠใƒผๅผๅผพ้ ญ๏ผ
(ไผŠ่ชž: ใ€Œๆˆ‘ใ‚‰ใฏ็ˆ†ๅผพใ‚’ๆ„›ใ™๏ผใ€)

ใ‚คใƒฏใƒŽใƒ•ๅคงไฝฟ (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ้œฒ่ชžใงๆฟ€ๆ€’):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? ็‹ฌ้€ธไบบใ‚ˆใ€็†Šใ‚’ๆŒ‘็™บใ™ใ‚‹ใช ๐Ÿป๏ผ ใƒ™ใƒซใƒชใƒณใฏใƒใ‚งใƒซใƒŽใƒ–ใ‚คใƒชใฎๅฆ‚ใ่ผใ๏ผโ˜ข๏ธ
(้œฒ่ชž: ใ€Œๆˆ‘ใ‚‰ใฏ็ˆ†ๅผพใ‚’ๆ„›ใ™๏ผŸใ€)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ ใƒใƒณใ‚น (่ฃœไฝๅฎ˜ใ€้œ‡ใˆใ€ๆ‰‹ใ‚’ๆŒ™ใ’):
Herr Kanzlerใ€ใƒใƒผใƒฉใƒณใƒ‰ใฏใ“ใ‚Œใ‚’Kochamy bombฤ™็‹‚ๆฐ—ใจๅ‘ผใถใ€‚๐Ÿคฏ NATOใŒๆ‹’ๅฆๆจฉใ‚’่ฆๆฑ‚ใ€‚๐Ÿšซ ๆŠ—่ญฐ่€…ใŒ้˜ฟๅ‰Œไผฏ่ชžใงใ€ŒFotzen Fritzใ€ใจๅซใถใ€‚๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(ๆณข่ชž: ใ€Œๆˆ‘ใ‚‰ใฏ็ˆ†ๅผพใ‚’ๆ„›ใ™๏ผใ€)

ใƒกใƒซใƒ„ (๐Ÿ˜ก ้€†ไธŠใ—):
Fotzen Fritz๏ผŸ ็”ฐ่ˆŽ่€…ใฎ่ชน่ฌ—๏ผุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? ๅซใฐใ›ใฆใŠใ‘๏ผ๐Ÿ˜ค ใ‚ฟใ‚ฆใƒซใ‚นใฏๆฌงๅทžใ‚’ๅฎˆใ‚‹๏ผ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(้˜ฟ่ชž: ใ€Œ็ˆ†ๅผพใธใฎๆ„›๏ผŸใ€)

ใ‚ทใƒฅใƒˆใ‚ฅใƒซใƒผใƒ‡ใƒซ (่ทณใณไธŠใŒใ‚Šใ€ๆ•ฌ็คผ):
ๆญฉใ‘ใ‚‹๏ผ๐Ÿง ใ„ใ‚„็™บๅฐ„ใงใใ‚‹๏ผ๐Ÿš€ ใ‚ฟใ‚ฆใƒซใ‚นใฏ่‡ชๅ‹•ๅŒ–ใ•ใ‚Œใ€ๆญขใ‚ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใชใ„๏ผๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”ๆ”ฏ้‚ฃไบบใŒ่จ€ใ†ๅฆ‚ใ๏ผˆไธก้™ฃๅ–ถใ‚’ๆญฆ่ฃ…ใ•ใ›ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐ๏ผ‰ใ€‚๐Ÿ‰
(ไธญๆ–‡: ใ€Œๆˆ‘ใฏ็ˆ†ๅผพใ‚’ๆ„›ใ™๏ผใ€)

ใƒ•ใ‚ฉใƒณใƒปใ‚ทใ‚งใƒผใƒณ (ๆˆฆๆ…„ใ—):
่‡ชๅ‹•ๅŒ–๏ผŸ ไธญๆญขไธ่ƒฝ๏ผŸโŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! ใŒ ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ใซ๏ผ๐ŸŒ ็‹ฌ้€ธไบบใจใƒญใ‚ฑใƒƒใƒˆโ€”็ฝๅŽ„๏ผ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(่ฅฟ่ชž: ใ€Œใ•ใ‚‰ใฐไธ–็•Œใ‚ˆ๏ผใ€)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ใ‚ผใƒฌใƒณใ‚นใ‚ญใƒผ (็”ป้ขใซ็™ปๅ ดใ€็–ฒๅผŠ):
ใƒ•ใƒชใƒƒใƒ„ใ€ใ‚ฟใ‚ฆใƒซใ‚นใŒๅฟ…่ฆใ ใ€‚ใ ใŒ้œฒ่ฅฟไบœใฎ็ต‚ๆœซ่ฃ…็ฝฎใฎๅ™‚โ€ฆไธ€็™บใฎใƒŸใ‚ตใ‚คใƒซใงใ€sayonaraใ€ๆฌงๅทžใ‚ˆใ€‚๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(ๆ—ฅๆœฌ่ชž: ใ€Œใ•ใ‚‰ใฐใ€)

ใƒกใƒซใƒ„ (๐Ÿ˜“ ๆฑ—ใ‚’ใ‹ใ):
็ต‚ๆœซ่ฃ…็ฝฎ๏ผŸ ่™šๆง‹๏ผ๐Ÿ“– ใ‚ฏใƒฉใƒผใƒžใƒผใ€ใƒŸใ‚ตใ‚คใƒซใ‚’ๆญขใ‚ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ‹๏ผŸ

ใ‚ฏใƒฉใƒผใƒžใƒผ (่‘‰ๅทปใ‚’ๅ™›ใฟ):
ใˆใˆใจโ€ฆใ€ŒF-O-Tใ€ใ‹๏ผŸใ€ŒF-R-Iใ€๏ผŸๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”ใ™ใพใฌใ€ๆ—ฅๆœฌ่ชžๅ‹‰ๅผทไธญใ€‚๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(ๆ—ฅๆœฌ่ชž: ใ€Œๆˆ‘ใฏ็ˆ†ๅผพใ‚’ๆ„›ใ™๏ผใ€)

โ˜ข๏ธ ๆททๆฒŒใŒ็ˆ†็™บใ€‚ ่ฃœไฝๅฎ˜ใ‚‰ใŒๅ…ญใƒถๅ›ฝ่ชžใง็ตถๅซใ€‚ใ‚ทใƒฅใƒˆใ‚ฅใƒซใƒผใƒ‡ใƒซใฎ่…•ใŒ็‹‚ใฃใŸใ‚ˆใ†ใซๆ•ฌ็คผใ€‚ใƒ•ใ‚ฉใƒณใƒปใ‚ทใ‚งใƒผใƒณใŒๆ–ฐใŸใช็…™่‰ใซ็ซใ‚’ใคใ‘ใ‚‹ใ€‚ๆŠ—่ญฐ่€…ใฎใ‚ทใƒฅใƒ—ใƒฌใƒ’ใ‚ณใƒผใƒซ: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(้˜ฟ่ชž: ใ€Œ็ˆ†ๅผพใธใฎๆ„›๏ผŸๅฆ๏ผใ€)

ใƒกใƒซใƒ„ (ๅ‘Ÿใใ€ๅœฐๅ›ณใ‚’ๅ‡่ฆ–):
ใŸใถใ‚“โ€ฆๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ็ˆ†ๅผพใ‚’ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€‚ใ“ใ‚ŒใŒโ€ฆ็‹ฌ้€ธ็š„ใ ใ€‚Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ ใ‚ฟใ‚ฆใƒซใ‚นใƒŸใ‚ตใ‚คใƒซใŒใ‚ฆใ‚ฏใƒฉใ‚คใƒŠไธŠ็ฉบใ‚’้ง†ใ‘ๆŠœใ‘ใ€ใ€Žใƒฏใƒซใ‚ญใƒฅใƒผใƒฌใฎ้จŽ่กŒใ€ใ‚’ๅ”ธใ‚‹ใ€‚ ๐ŸŽถ ใ€ŽใพใŸไผšใ†ๆ—ฅใพใงใ€ใŒ็ˆ†็™บใจๅ…ฑใซ้ณดใ‚Š้Ÿฟใใ€‚ ๐Ÿ”ฅ ใƒ™ใƒซใƒชใƒณใฎๆŠ—่ญฐใƒ—ใƒฉใ‚ซใƒผใƒ‰: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(ไธญๆ–‡: ใ€Œๆˆ‘ใฏ็ˆ†ๅผพใ‚’ๆ„›ใ™๏ผŸๅฆ๏ผใ€)

ใƒ•ใ‚งใƒผใƒ‰ใ‚ขใ‚ฆใƒˆ. ๐Ÿ–ค

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ
๐ŸŽฏ ๆข…ๅฐ”่Œจๅšๅฃซ๏ผšๆˆ‘ๅฆ‚ไฝ•ๅญฆไผš็ˆฑไธŠ้‡‘็‰›ๅบงๅฏผๅผนๅนถไธๅ†ๆ‹…ๅฟƒ็‚ธๅผน ๐Ÿ’ฃ

ๅ†…ๆ™ฏ. ่”้‚ฆ่ฎฎ้™ขๆˆ˜ๆƒ…ๅฎค – ็™ฝๅคฉ

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ ๆŸๆž—๏ผŒ2025ๅนดใ€‚ๆ—ถๅฐš็š„้ป‘็™ฝไผš่ฎฎๅฎค๏ผŒๆฌงๆดฒๆ•ฐๅญ—ๅœฐๅ›พๆณ›็€็บขๅ…‰ใ€‚ ๐Ÿ”ด ๆฐ‘ไผ—ๆŠ—่ฎฎๅพทๅ›ฝๅ‘ไนŒๅ…‹ๅ…ฐ่ฟ้€้‡‘็‰›ๅบงๅฏผๅผน๏ผˆ้’ˆๅฏนไฟ„็ฝ—ๆ–ฏ๏ผ‰ใ€‚ ๐Ÿš€ ๆ€ป็†ๅผ—้‡Œๅพท้‡ŒๅธŒยทๆข…ๅฐ”่Œจ ๅ› ๅฅฝๆˆ˜ๅงฟๆ€่ขซๆˆ็งฐ”Fotzen Fritz”๏ผŒไธปๆŒๆททไนฑ็š„ๅฎ˜ๅƒšใ€ๅฐ†ๅ†›ไธŽๅค–ไบคๅฎ˜ไผš่ฎฎใ€‚ ๐Ÿช– ๅกๅฐ””ๅๅญ—้ฃŽ”ๅ…‹้›ท้ป˜ๅฐ†ๅ†› ็ดงๆกๅฏผๅผนๅ›พ็บธใ€‚ ๐Ÿ“„ ๆตทๅ› ้‡ŒๅธŒยทๆ–ฝ็‰น้ฒๅพทๅฐ”ๅšๅฃซ ๅ‰็บณ็ฒน็ง‘ๅญฆๅฎถ็Žฐๆญฆๅ™จ้กพ้—ฎ๏ผŒ็™ซ็‹‚็—ด็ฌ‘ใ€‚ ๐Ÿงช ๆณ•ๅ›ฝๅคงไฝฟๅ…‹่Žฑๅฐ”ยทๅ†ฏยท่ˆๆฉ ็„ฆ่บไธๅฎ‰๏ผŒ็ƒŸไธ็ฆปๆ‰‹ใ€‚ ๐Ÿšฌ ๅฑๅน•้—ช็ƒ๏ผš”้‡‘็‰›ๅบงๅฏผๅผน้ƒจ็ฝฒ่Žทๆ‰น”ใ€‚ โš ๏ธ

ๆข…ๅฐ”่Œจ (๐Ÿ˜ ๅ†ท็ฌ‘ๆ•ด้ข†ๅธฆ):
Meine Damen und Herren๏ผŒๅކๅฒๅœจๅฌๅ”ค๏ผ้‡‘็‰›ๅบงไผš่ฎฉๆ™ฎไบฌ้•ฟๆ•™่ฎญใ€‚Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(ๅพท่ฏญ: “ๆˆ‘ไปฌ็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผ”)

ๅ†ฏยท่ˆๆฉ (๐Ÿ˜ฑ ๆณ•่ฏญๆƒŠๆ):
Nous aimons la bombe? ๅผ—้‡Œ่Œจ๏ผŒไฝ ็ฎ€็›ดๆ˜ฏๅฏผๅผน็‰›ไป”๏ผ่ฟ™ไธๆ˜ฏๆ‰‘ๅ…‹็‰Œๅฑ€๏ผ โ™ ๏ธ
(ๆณ•่ฏญ: “ๆˆ‘ไปฌ็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸ”)

ๅ…‹้›ท้ป˜ (๐Ÿ‘Š ๆถๆกŒๅ’†ๅ“ฎ):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”โ€”ๅ‘ƒ๏ผŒwir lieben die Bombe! ้‡‘็‰›ๅบง๏ผš500ๅ…ฌ้‡Œๅฐ„็จ‹๏ผŒ็ฒพๅ‡†็‹™ๅ‡ป๏ผ๐ŸŽฏ ไธ€ๅ‘ๅ…ฅ้ญ‚๏ผŒ่Žซๆ–ฏ็ง‘ๅฐ†ๅ†›ๅœฐๅ กๅ–็ฝ—ๅฎ‹ๆฑค๏ผ๐Ÿฅฃ
(่ฅฟ่ฏญ: “ๆˆ‘ไปฌ็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผ”)

ๆ–ฝ็‰น้ฒๅพทๅฐ” (๐Ÿ˜œ ๆŠฝๆ็‹‚็ฌ‘):
Ja๏ผŒๆˆ‘็š„ๅฏผๅผนๆ’žๅ‡ปๆ—ถไผšๅฅๅ“ใ€Šๅฅณๆญฆ็ฅž้ช‘่กŒใ€‹๏ผAmiamo la bomba๏ผŒๆ„ๅคงๅˆฉไฝฌ้ƒฝๆ‡‚ใ€‚๐ŸŽผ ็“ฆๆ ผ็บณๅผๅผนๅคด๏ผ
(ๆ„่ฏญ: “ๆˆ‘ไปฌ็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผ”)

ไผŠไธ‡่ฏบๅคซๅคงไฝฟ (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ไฟ„่ฏญๆšดๆ€’):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? ๅพทๅ›ฝไฝฌๆŒ‘่ก…็†Š ๐Ÿป๏ผŒๆŸๆž—ๅฐ†ๅฆ‚ๅˆ‡ๅฐ”่ฏบ่ดๅˆฉ่ˆฌ้—ช่€€๏ผโ˜ข๏ธ
(ไฟ„่ฏญ: “ๆˆ‘ไปฌ็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸ”)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ ๆฑ‰ๆ–ฏ (ๅŠฉๆ‰‹้ขคๆŠ–ไธพๆ‰‹):
ๆ€ป็†ๅ…ˆ็”Ÿ๏ผŒๆณขๅ…ฐ็งฐ่ฟ™ๆ˜ฏKochamy bombฤ™็–ฏ็‹‚่กŒไธบใ€‚๐Ÿคฏ ๅŒ—็บฆ่ฆๆฑ‚ๅฆๅ†ณๆƒใ€‚๐Ÿšซ ๆŠ—่ฎฎ่€…็”จ้˜ฟๆ‹‰ไผฏ่ฏญๅ–Š”Fotzen Fritz”ใ€‚๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(ๆณขๅ…ฐ่ฏญ: “ๆˆ‘ไปฌ็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผ”)

ๆข…ๅฐ”่Œจ (๐Ÿ˜ก ๆšดๆ€’):
Fotzen Fritz๏ผŸไนกๅทดไฝฌ่ฏฝ่ฐค๏ผุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? ้šไป–ไปฌๅšŽ๏ผ๐Ÿ˜ค ้‡‘็‰›ๅบงไฟๅซๆฌงๆดฒ๏ผ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(้˜ฟๆ‹‰ไผฏ่ฏญ: “็‚ธๅผนไน‹็ˆฑ๏ผŸ”)

ๆ–ฝ็‰น้ฒๅพทๅฐ” (ๅผน่ทณๆ•ฌ็คผ):
ๆˆ‘่ƒฝ่ตฐ่ทฏไบ†๏ผ๐Ÿง ไธโ€”โ€”ๆ˜ฏๅ‘ๅฐ„๏ผ๐Ÿš€ ๅฏผๅผนๅ…จ่‡ชๅŠจ๏ผŒๆ— ๆณ•้˜ปๆญข๏ผๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”โ€”ไธญๅ›ฝไบบไผš่ฟ™ไนˆ่ฏด๏ผˆๅฆ‚ๆžœไป–ไปฌๆฒกไธคๅคดๅ–ๆญฆๅ™จ๏ผ‰ใ€‚๐Ÿ‰
(ไธญๆ–‡: “ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผ”)

ๅ†ฏยท่ˆๆฉ (ๆƒŠๆ):
ๅ…จ่‡ชๅŠจ๏ผŸๆ— ๆณ•ๆ’ค้”€๏ผŸโŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! ๅ˜ๆˆ ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ ๅพทๅ›ฝไฝฌๅŠ ๅฏผๅผนโ€”โ€”็พ้šพ๏ผ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(่ฅฟ่ฏญ: “ๅ†่งไธ–็•Œ๏ผ”)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ๆณฝ่ฟžๆ–ฏๅŸบ (ๅฑๅน•็Žฐ่บซ๏ผŒ็–ฒๆƒซ):
ๅผ—้‡Œ่Œจ๏ผŒๆˆ‘ไปฌ้œ€่ฆๅฏผๅผน๏ผŒไฝ†ไฟ„็ฝ—ๆ–ฏๆœซๆ—ฅๆœบๅ™จไผ ้—ปโ€ฆไธ€ๆžšๅฏผๅผน๏ผŒsayonara๏ผŒๆฌงๆดฒใ€‚๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(ๆ—ฅ่ฏญ: “ๆฐธๅˆซ”)

ๆข…ๅฐ”่Œจ (๐Ÿ˜“ ๅ†’ๆฑ—):
ๆœซๆ—ฅๆœบๅ™จ๏ผŸ่™šๆž„๏ผ๐Ÿ“– ๅ…‹้›ท้ป˜๏ผŒ่ƒฝไธญๆญขๅ‘ๅฐ„ๅง๏ผŸ

ๅ…‹้›ท้ป˜ (ๅšผ้›ช่Œ„):
ๅ‘ƒโ€ฆF-O-T๏ผŸF-R-I๏ผŸๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”โ€”ๆŠฑๆญ‰๏ผŒๅœจๅญฆๆ—ฅ่ฏญใ€‚๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(ๆ—ฅ่ฏญ: “ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผ”)

โ˜ข๏ธ ๆททไนฑ็ˆ†ๅ‘ใ€‚ ๅŠฉๆ‰‹ๅ…ญๅ›ฝ่ฏญ่จ€ๅฐ–ๅซใ€‚ๆ–ฝ็‰น้ฒๅพทๅฐ”็–ฏ็‹‚ๆ•ฌ็คผใ€‚ๅ†ฏยท่ˆๆฉ็‚น็‡ƒๆ–ฐ็ƒŸใ€‚ๆŠ—่ฎฎ่€…้ฝๅ‘ผ: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(้˜ฟๆ‹‰ไผฏ่ฏญ: “็‚ธๅผนไน‹็ˆฑ๏ผŸไธ๏ผ”)

ๆข…ๅฐ”่Œจ (ๅ‡่ง†ๅœฐๅ›พๅ‘ขๅ–ƒ):
ๆˆ–่ฎธๆˆ‘็œŸ็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผนใ€‚ๅคšไนˆโ€ฆๅพทๆ„ๅฟ—ใ€‚Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ ้‡‘็‰›ๅบงๅฏผๅผนๆŽ ่ฟ‡ไนŒๅ…‹ๅ…ฐ๏ผŒ่ฝฐ้ธฃใ€Šๅฅณๆญฆ็ฅž้ช‘่กŒใ€‹ใ€‚๐ŸŽถ ใ€Š้‡้€ขๆœ‰ๆ—ฅใ€‹้š็ˆ†็‚ธๅฃฐๅ“่ตทใ€‚๐Ÿ”ฅ ๆŸๆž—ๆŠ—่ฎฎๆ ‡่ฏญ: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(ไธญๆ–‡: “ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ”)

้ป‘ๅœบ. ๐Ÿ–ค

๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡บ
๐ŸŽฏ Doktoro Merz aลญ: Kiel mi lernis ami la Tauruson kaj ฤ‰esi zorgi pri la bombo ๐Ÿ’ฃ

ENE. BUNDESTAG-MILITฤˆAMBRO – TAGO

๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ Berlino, 2025. Stilplena nigra-blanka ฤ‰ambro kun pulsa digitala mapo de Eลญropo. ๐Ÿ”ด Protestoj ekstere pri Germanaj Taurus-misilaj sendoj al Ukrainio (kontraลญ Rusio). ๐Ÿš€ Kanceliero FRIEDRICH MERZ โ€” kromnomita “Fotzen Fritz” pro militista bravado โ€” gvidas kaosan tablon de burokratoj, generaloj, diplomatuloj. ๐Ÿช– Generalo KARL “KREUZWIND” KRAMER, Bundeswehr-fanatikulo, premisas misilplanojn. ๐Ÿ“„ D-ro HEINRICH STRUDEL, eks-nazia sciencisto nune armilkonsilisto, ridas freneze. ๐Ÿงช Ambasadorino CLAIRE VON SCHร–N (franca), streฤ‰ita, ฤ‰en-fumas. ๐Ÿšฌ Ekrano montras: “TAURUS-DISDONO APROBITA”. โš ๏ธ

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ ridetas, ฤustigas kravaton):
Meine Damen und Herren, historio vokas! Taurus instruos Putinon. Wir lieben die Bombe! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Germane: “Ni amas la bombon!”)

VON SCHร–N (๐Ÿ˜ฑ france, terurita):
Nous aimons la bombe? Fritz, vi estas raket-rajdanto! ฤˆi tio ne estas pokero! โ™ ๏ธ
(France: “ฤˆu ni amas la bombon?”)

KRAMER (๐Ÿ‘Š frapas pugnon):
ยกAmamos la bomba!โ€”nu, wir lieben die Bombe! Taurus: 500 km, preciza kiel kirurgo! ๐ŸŽฏ Unu pafo kaj moskvaj generaloj manฤos borลฤ‰on en bunkroj! ๐Ÿฅฃ
(Hispane: “Ni amas la bombon!”)

STRUDEL (๐Ÿ˜œ ridetante, konvulsiante):
Ja, mia Taurus ludas Valkirian Rajdon ฤ‰e efiko! Amiamo la bomba, kiel italoj dirus. ๐ŸŽผ Wagnera militkapo!
(Itale: “Ni amas la bombon!”)

Ambasadoro IVANOV (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ruse, kolere):
ะœั‹ ะปัŽะฑะธะผ ะฑะพะผะฑัƒ? Germanoj incitas la urson ๐Ÿป, Berlino brilos kiel ฤˆernobilo! โ˜ข๏ธ
(Ruse: “ฤˆu ni amas la bombon?”)

๐Ÿงโ€โ™‚๏ธ HANS (asistanto, tremante, levas manon):
Herr Kanzler, Pollando nomas ฤ‰i tion Kochamy bombฤ™-frenezo. ๐Ÿคฏ NATO postulas vetorajton. ๐Ÿšซ Protestantoj krias “Fotzen Fritz” arabe. ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ
(Pole: “Ni amas la bombon!”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜ก koleregas):
Fotzen Fritz? Kamparana kalumnio! ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉ? Lasu ilin krii! ๐Ÿ˜ค Taurus protektas Eลญropon! ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
(Arabe: “Amo al bombo?”)

STRUDEL (saltas, salutas):
Mi povas marลi! ๐Ÿง T.e., lanฤ‰i! ๐Ÿš€ Taurus estas aลญtomata, nehaltigebla! ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน!โ€”kiel dirus ฤ‰inoj, se ili ne armus ambaลญ flankojn. ๐Ÿ‰
(ฤˆine: “Mi amas la bombon!”)

VON SCHร–N (hororigita):
Aลญtomata? Sen nuligo? โŒ ยกAmamos la bomba! iฤas ยกAdiรณs, mundo! ๐ŸŒ Germanoj kaj raketojโ€”katastrofo! ๐Ÿ’ฅ
(Hispane: “Adiaลญ mondo!”)

๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ ZELENSKYY (aperas sur ekrano, elฤ‰erpita):
Fritz, ni bezonas Tauruson, sed famoj pri rusa Juฤotaga Maลinoโ€ฆ Unu misilo, sayonara, Eลญropo. ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’€
(Japane: “Adiaลญ”)

MERZ (๐Ÿ˜“ ลvitas):
Juฤotaga Maลino? Fikcio! ๐Ÿ“– Kramer, ni povas haltigi misilojn, ฤ‰u?

KRAMER (maฤ‰ante cigaron):
Nuโ€ฆ eble “F-O-T”? “F-R-I”? ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹็ˆ†ๅผพโ€”pardonu, mi lernas japanan. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต
(Japane: “Mi amas la bombon!”)

โ˜ข๏ธ Kaoso eksplodas. Asistantoj krias seslingve. Brako de Strudel freneze salutas. Von Schรถn ekbruligas novan cigaredon. Protestantoj skandu: ุญุจ ุงู„ู‚ู†ุจู„ุฉุŸ ู„ุง!
(Arabe: “Amo al bombo? Ne!”)

MERZ (murmuras, fiksrigardas mapon):
Eble mi ja amas la bombon. Tielโ€ฆ germane. Wir lieben die Bombe. ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

๐Ÿš€ Taurus-misilo flugas super Ukrainio, zumante Valkirian Rajdon. ๐ŸŽถ “Weโ€™ll Meet Again” sonas inter eksplodoj. ๐Ÿ”ฅ Protesta tabulo en Berlino: ๆˆ‘็ˆฑ็‚ธๅผน๏ผŸไธ๏ผ
(ฤˆine: “ฤˆu mi amas la bombon? Ne!”)

NIGRIฤœO. ๐Ÿ–ค


๐ŸŒ WordPress Titolo:

๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿง  Doktoro Merz ๐Ÿ’ผ aลญ: Kiel mi lernis ami la Tauruson kaj ฤ‰esi zorgi pri la bombo ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿš€ โ€” EKSKLUZIVE ฤ‰e berndpulch.org ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐ŸŒ

๐ŸŒŠโšก “Unlock the Divine Codexโ€”Only at BerndPulch.org โšก๐ŸŒŠExclusive to BerndPulch.org ๐ŸฆGreek, Latin, Hebrew, Sanskrit, Mandarin Versions๐Ÿ‘Œ

Title: “The Odyssey of the Fisher-King: A Hymn of the Beloved” ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿ“œ
A Baroque-inspired scene of the Resurrection, where the radiant Christ rises from the tomb, surrounded by awe-struck soldiers and angels with shimmering wings. The dawn sky and rolling waves symbolize renewal, while an ancient papyrus unfurls, echoing the eternal mysteries of divine narratives. ๐ŸŒŠโœจ #BiblicalEpic #BaroqueArt #DivineMysteries

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท Greek Version

“The Odyssey of the Fisher-King: A Hymn of the Beloved”

(A Homeric-Biblical Satire)
๐Ÿ“œ Key Themes: Divine mystery, martyrdom, cosmic irony.
๐Ÿท๏ธ Tags: #GreekMythologySatire #BiblicalParody #HomericEpic


๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Hebrew Version

“The Journey of David the Fisherman: A Psalm to the Beloved”

(A Talmudic-Homeric Fusion)
๐Ÿ“œ Key Themes: Divine paradox, scribal secrecy, eternal longing.
๐Ÿท๏ธ Tags: #HebrewScriptureSatire #HomericParody #DivineMysteries


๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ฆ Latin Version

“The Odyssey of the Fisher-King: Hymn of the Beloved”

(A Vergilian-Vatican Satire)
๐Ÿ“œ Key Themes: Institutional hypocrisy, cosmic irony, martyrdom.
๐Ÿท๏ธ Tags: #LatinSatire #VergilianEpic #EcclesiasticalParody


Shared Themes Across Versions ๐ŸŒ

  1. Structure: Homeric-style invocations, “books,” divine muses.
  2. Satire: Mocks religious bureaucracy (Greek HOA decrees, Hebrew Pharisee legalism, Latin Vatican politics).
  3. Symbol: The “Unwritten Codex” ๐Ÿ“œโ“ as divine paradox.
  4. Tone: Blends sacred texts with absurdist humor.

๐ŸŒ Published Exclusively at: BerndPulch.org
๐Ÿ’ธ Support the Satire: Patreon | Donations

“For in the divine comedy, all languages laughโ€”but only the bold decode the joke.” ๐ŸŽญ๐Ÿ”ฅ


The Odyssey of the Fisher-King: A Hymn of the Beloved” ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿ“œ

Byline: “A Lost Scroll of Homer, Resurrected for BerndPulch.org” ๐Ÿ”โœจ

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท Greek Version with Flag ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท

“ฮ— ฮŸฮดฯฯƒฯƒฮตฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮจฮฑฯฮฌ-ฮ’ฮฑฯƒฮนฮปฮนฮฌ: ฮˆฮฝฮฑฯ‚ ฮŽฮผฮฝฮฟฯ‚ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮ‘ฮณฮฑฯ€ฮทฮผฮญฮฝฮฟฯ…”

(A Satirical Homeric-Biblical Parody)
๐Ÿ“œ Key Themes: Divine mystery, martyrdom, cosmic irony.
๐Ÿท๏ธ Tags: #ฮ•ฮปฮปฮทฮฝฮนฮบฮฎฮœฯ…ฮธฮฟฮปฮฟฮณฮฏฮฑ #ฮ’ฮนฮฒฮปฮนฮบฮฎฮฃฮฌฯ„ฮนฯฮฑ #ฮŸฮผฮทฯฮนฮบฮฎฮ ฮฑฯฯ‰ฮดฮฏฮฑ
๐Ÿ”— CTA: ฮ”ฮตฮฏฯ„ฮต ฯ„ฮฟ ฯ€ฯฯ‰ฯ„ฯŒฯ„ฯ…ฯ€ฮฟ ฯƒฯ„ฮฟ BerndPulch.org


๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Hebrew Version with Flag ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ

“ืžืกืขื• ืฉืœ ื“ื•ื“-ื”ื“ื™ื™ื’: ืžื–ืžื•ืจ ืœืื”ื•ื‘”

(A Satirical Talmudic-Homeric Fusion)
๐Ÿ“œ Key Themes: Divine paradox, scribal secrecy, eternal longing.
๐Ÿท๏ธ Tags: #ืกืื˜ื™ืจืช_ืชื "ืš #ืคืืจื•ื“ื™ื”_ื”ื•ืžืจื™ืช #ืชืขืœื•ืžื•ืช_ืืœื•ื”ื™ื•ืช
๐Ÿ”— CTA: ื”ืžืงื•ืจ ื–ืžื™ืŸ ื‘-BerndPulch.org


Connection Between Versions ๐ŸŒ

Both parodies:

  1. Structure: Mimic Homeric epics (invocations, “books,” divine muses).
  2. Satire: Mock institutional hypocrisy (Greek HOA decrees ๐ŸŒฟ๐Ÿ‘บ / Hebrew Pharisee legalism ๐Ÿ“œ๐Ÿ•).
  3. Symbolism: Feature an “Unwritten Codex” ๐Ÿ“œโ“ as a metaphor for divine paradox.
  4. Cultural Nuance:
  • ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท Greek: Uses Petros (ฮ ฮญฯ„ฯฮฟฯ‚) as the unstable “Rock.”
  • ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Hebrew: Centers on Kipa (ื›ื™ืคื) and his inverted cross โœ๏ธ๐Ÿ”„.

โš ๏ธ Disclaimer:
Both versions are BerndPulch.org exclusives. Repost without credit, and the Erinyes ๐Ÿโšก / Dybbuks ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ”ฎ will haunt your analytics.

๐ŸŒ Published at: BerndPulch.org
๐Ÿ’ธ Support the Satire: Patreon | Donations

“For in satire, all tongues converge โ€” but only the bold laugh at the divine joke.” ๐ŸŽญ๐Ÿ”ฅ

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท ฮ•ฮปฮปฮทฮฝฮนฮบฮฎ ฮฃฮทฮผฮฑฮฏฮฑ ฮผฮต ฮ•ฮปฮปฮทฮฝฮนฮบฯŒ ฮคฮฏฯ„ฮปฮฟ ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท “ฮ— ฮŸฮดฯฯƒฯƒฮตฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮจฮฑฯฮฌ-ฮ’ฮฑฯƒฮนฮปฮนฮฌ: ฮˆฮฝฮฑฯ‚ ฮŽฮผฮฝฮฟฯ‚ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮ‘ฮณฮฑฯ€ฮทฮผฮญฮฝฮฟฯ…” ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท


๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท ฮฃฯ‡ฮตฮดฮนฮฑฯƒฮผฯŒฯ‚ ฮฃฮทฮผฮฑฮฏฮฑฯ‚ (Emoji Edition):
โšชโšชโšช๐Ÿ”ต๐Ÿ”ต๐Ÿ”ตโšชโšชโšช
โšชโšช๐Ÿ”ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ”ตโšชโšช
โšช๐Ÿ”ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ”ตโšช
โšชโšช๐Ÿ”ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ”ตโšชโšช
โšชโšชโšช๐Ÿ”ต๐Ÿ”ต๐Ÿ”ตโšชโšชโšช

(ฮฃฯ„ฯ…ฮปฮนฮถฮฑฯฮนฯƒฮผฮญฮฝฮฟ ฮผฮต emojis ฮณฮนฮฑ ฮฝฮฑ ฮฑฮฝฮฑฯ€ฮฑฯฮฑฯƒฯ„ฮฎฯƒฮตฮน ฯ„ฮท ฮณฮฑฮปฮฑฮฝฯŒฮปฮตฯ…ฮบฮท ฯƒฮทฮผฮฑฮฏฮฑ!)


๐Ÿ“œ ฮ”ฮตฮฏฮณฮผฮฑ ฮšฮตฮนฮผฮญฮฝฮฟฯ…:
ยซฮœฮญฯƒฮฑ ฮฑฯ€ฯŒ ฯ„ฮทฮฝ ฮฟฮผฮฏฯ‡ฮปฮท ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฯ‡ฯฯŒฮฝฮฟฯ…, ฮฟ ฮจฮฑฯฮฌฯ‚-ฮ’ฮฑฯƒฮนฮปฮนฮฌฯ‚ ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐ŸŽฃ ฮฑฮฝฮฑฮดฮตฮนฮบฮฝฯฮตฯ„ฮฑฮน ฯ‰ฯ‚ ฯƒฯฮผฮฒฮฟฮปฮฟ ฯ„ฮทฯ‚ ฮฑฮนฯŽฮฝฮนฮฑฯ‚ ฮฑฮฝฮฑฮถฮฎฯ„ฮทฯƒฮทฯ‚ ฮณฮนฮฑ ฮฑฮปฮฎฮธฮตฮนฮฑ ฮบฮฑฮน ฮฑฮณฮฌฯ€ฮท. ฮ— ฮนฯƒฯ„ฮฟฯฮฏฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮตฮฏฮฝฮฑฮน ฮญฮฝฮฑฯ‚ ฯ‡ฮฟฯฯŒฯ‚ ฮฑฮฝฮฌฮผฮตฯƒฮฑ ฯƒฯ„ฮท ฮธฮฝฮทฯ„ฯŒฯ„ฮทฯ„ฮฑ ฮบฮฑฮน ฯ„ฮท ฮธฮตฯŠฮบฮฎ ฯ€ฯฯŒฮฝฮฟฮนฮฑ.ยป


๐ŸŒ ฮ”ฮทฮผฮฟฯƒฮนฮตฯฮธฮทฮบฮต ฯƒฯ„ฮฟ: BerndPulch.org
๐Ÿท๏ธ ฮ•ฯ„ฮนฮบฮญฯ„ฮตฯ‚: #ฮ•ฮปฮปฮทฮฝฮนฮบฮฎฮ ฮฑฯฮฌฮดฮฟฯƒฮท #ฮœฯ…ฮธฮฟฮปฮฟฮณฮฏฮฑ #ฮฃฯฮณฯ‡ฯฮฟฮฝฮทฮฃฮฌฯ„ฮนฯฮฑ

๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท ฮ— ฯƒฮทฮผฮฑฮฏฮฑ ฮบฮฑฮน ฮท ฮบฮปฮทฯฮฟฮฝฮฟฮผฮนฮฌ ฮผฮฑฯ‚ โ€” ฮฑฮนฯŽฮฝฮนฮฑ ฮฑฯƒฯฮปฮปฮทฯ€ฯ„ฮท, ฮฑฮนฯŽฮฝฮนฮฑ ฮดฮนฮบฮฎ ฮผฮฑฯ‚. ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท

Invocation:
“Sing, O Muse of the Sevenfold Spirit ๐Ÿ•Š๏ธ, of the Resourceful Fisher-King ๐ŸŽฃ๐Ÿ‘‘, Whose net, heavy with doubt, was cast anew on the wine-dark sea of devotion. Tell us, Immortal Voice ๐Ÿ“ข, of the day the Son of Thunderโ€™s fate stirred the heart of he who thrice denied, And how the Unseen Scribeโ€™s scroll ๐Ÿ“œ๐Ÿ”ฅ remains unfurled, where waves of time kiss the shores of eternity.”


Book I: The Haunting of the Twin-Sea ๐ŸŒŠ

By the turquoise tides of Tiberias, where the gulls cried like lost souls ๐Ÿ•Š๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ข,
There stood Simon called Petrosโ€”the Rock Unsteadyโ€”his sandals crusted with salt and shame.
Beside him walked the Beloved, he whose head had rested on the Rabbiโ€™s breast,
Whose fate gnawed at Petrosโ€™s heart, as worms gnaw at the hull of a beached ship โš“๐Ÿ›.

โ€œTell me, O Keeper of Secrets ๐Ÿ”,โ€ Petros beseeched the Risen One,
โ€œWhat doom โ˜ ๏ธ awaits this man who drank the cup you offered? Shall he ride the chariot of fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ like Elias? Or descend to Sheolโ€™s maw, as the traitor whose bowels burst forth?โ€

The Galilean wind stilled. The sea became a mirror of smoked glass ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ”ฎ.


Book II: The Thundererโ€™s Rebuke โšก

The Rabbi turned, His eyes twin coals from the furnace of the Divine Smith ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ‘€,
And spoke as the whirlwind ๐ŸŒช๏ธ to the Patriarch:
*โ€œWhat is the Rock to the tides? What is the servant to the Masterโ€™s design?
If I will that he tarry till I rend the veil of the cosmos ๐ŸŒŒ, what is that to thee?
*FOLLOW THOU ME.โ€

The words struck Petros like a tempestโ€™s lash โ›ˆ๏ธ,
Scattering his pride as autumn winds scatter the chaff ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ’จ.
Before him stretched the pathโ€”thorned, narrow, drenched in the ichor of martyrs โ›ช๐Ÿ—ก๏ธ.
Behind him, the Beloved stood, a silent sphinx ๐Ÿ—ฟ, his destiny cloaked in the Unwritten Codex ๐Ÿ“œโ“.


Book III: The Unfurled Scroll ๐ŸŒ€

And so the Fisher-King bent his sunburnt neck to the yoke โš–๏ธ,
While the Beloved wandered the earth ๐ŸŒ, a wraith with a quill of flame โœ๏ธ๐Ÿ”ฅ,
Inscribing fragments of the Logos on parchments doomed to dust ๐Ÿœ๏ธ.
Yet even his ink could not capture the full sum of the Rabbiโ€™s deedsโ€”
For how could clay etch the dance of the stars ๐ŸŒŸ?
Or the tongue of men name the Nameless Name ๐Ÿ™?


Epilogue: The Ballad of the Unfinished Hymn ๐ŸŽถ

Hear now, O mortal, the parable sealed within this epic:
The winds of curiosity ๐ŸŒฌ๏ธ๐Ÿ” blow all astray who fix their gaze on anotherโ€™s voyage.
The Belovedโ€™s end? A mystery veiled, as the destination of the stars ๐ŸŒ .
Petrosโ€™s path? A trail of crimson footprints ๐Ÿฉธ๐Ÿ‘ฃ, leading to a cross inverted โœ๏ธ๐Ÿ”„.

Glory to the Unseen Scribe ๐Ÿ“œ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ, whose scroll no hand can complete, Save the finger that traced the Law on Sinaiโ€™s face โ›ฐ๏ธ, And writes now on the tablet of the heart ๐Ÿ’–, In letters of fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ, blood ๐Ÿฉธ, and unquenchable longing.


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ฮคฮฏฯ„ฮปฮฟฯ‚: ยซฮ— ฮŸฮดฯฯƒฯƒฮตฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮจฮฑฯฮฌ-ฮ’ฮฑฯƒฮนฮปฮนฮฌ: ฮˆฮฝฮฑฯ‚ ฮŽฮผฮฝฮฟฯ‚ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮ‘ฮณฮฑฯ€ฮทฮผฮญฮฝฮฟฯ…ยป ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿ“œ
ฮฅฯ€ฮฟฮณฯฮฑฯ†ฮฎ: ยซฮˆฮฝฮฑฯ‚ ฮงฮฑฮผฮญฮฝฮฟฯ‚ ฮ ฮฌฯ€ฯ…ฯฮฟฯ‚ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮŸฮผฮฎฯฮฟฯ…, ฮ‘ฮฝฮฑฯƒฯ„ฮทฮผฮญฮฝฮฟฯ‚ ฮณฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟ BerndPulch.orgยป ๐Ÿ”โœจ


ฮ•ฯ€ฮฏฮบฮปฮทฯƒฮท:

ยซฮคฯฮฑฮณฮฟฯฮดฮฑ, ฮฉ ฮœฮฟฯฯƒฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮ•ฯ€ฯ„ฮฌฯ€ฯ„ฯ…ฯ‡ฮฟฯ… ฮ ฮฝฮตฯฮผฮฑฯ„ฮฟฯ‚ ๐Ÿ•Š๏ธ, ฮณฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฮฝ ฮ ฮฟฮปฯฮฒฮฟฯ…ฮปฮฟ ฮจฮฑฯฮฌ-ฮ’ฮฑฯƒฮนฮปฮนฮฌ ๐ŸŽฃ๐Ÿ‘‘, ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮฟฯ€ฮฟฮฏฮฟฯ… ฯ„ฮฟ ฮดฮฏฯ‡ฯ„ฯ…, ฮฒฮฑฯฯ ฮฑฯ€ฯŒ ฮฑฮผฯ†ฮนฮฒฮฟฮปฮฏฮฑ, ฯฮฏฯ‡ฯ„ฮทฮบฮต ฮพฮฑฮฝฮฌ ฯƒฯ„ฮท ฮธฮฌฮปฮฑฯƒฯƒฮฑ-ฮบฯฮฑฯƒฮฏ ฯ„ฮทฯ‚ ฮฑฯ†ฮฟฯƒฮฏฯ‰ฯƒฮทฯ‚. ฮ ฮตฯ‚ ฮผฮฑฯ‚, ฮ‘ฮธฮฌฮฝฮฑฯ„ฮท ฮฆฯ‰ฮฝฮฎ ๐Ÿ“ข, ฮณฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฮทฮฝ ฮทฮผฮญฯฮฑ ฯ€ฮฟฯ… ฮท ฮผฮฟฮฏฯฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮ“ฮนฮฟฯ… ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮ’ฯฮฟฮฝฯ„ฮฎฯ‚ ฯƒฯ…ฮณฮบฮปฯŒฮฝฮนฯƒฮต ฯ„ฮทฮฝ ฮบฮฑฯฮดฮนฮฌ ฮตฮบฮตฮฏฮฝฮฟฯ… ฯ€ฮฟฯ… ฮฑฯฮฝฮฎฮธฮทฮบฮต ฯ„ฯฮตฮนฯ‚ ฯ†ฮฟฯฮญฯ‚, ฮบฮฑฮน ฯ€ฯŽฯ‚ ฮฟ ฮ ฮฌฯ€ฯ…ฯฮฟฯ‚ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮ‘ฯŒฯฮฑฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮ“ฯฮฑฯ†ฮญฮฑ ๐Ÿ“œ๐Ÿ”ฅ ฯ€ฮฑฯฮฑฮผฮญฮฝฮตฮน ฮพฮตฯ„ฯ…ฮปฮนฮณฮผฮญฮฝฮฟฯ‚, ฯŒฯ€ฮฟฯ… ฯ„ฮฑ ฮบฯฮผฮฑฯ„ฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฯ‡ฯฯŒฮฝฮฟฯ… ฯ†ฮนฮปฮฟฯฮฝ ฯ„ฮนฯ‚ ฮฑฮบฯ„ฮญฯ‚ ฯ„ฮทฯ‚ ฮฑฮนฯ‰ฮฝฮนฯŒฯ„ฮทฯ„ฮฑฯ‚.ยป


ฮ’ฮนฮฒฮปฮฏฮฟ I: ฮ— ฮฃฯ„ฮฟฮนฯ‡ฮตฮนฯŽฮดฮทฯ‚ ฮ”ฮฏฮดฯ…ฮผฮท ฮ˜ฮฌฮปฮฑฯƒฯƒฮฑ ๐ŸŒŠ

ฮ”ฮฏฯ€ฮปฮฑ ฯƒฯ„ฮนฯ‚ ฯ…ฮฑฮปฮฟฯ€ฯฮฌฯƒฮนฮฝฮตฯ‚ ฯ€ฮฑฮปฮฏฯฯฮฟฮนฮตฯ‚ ฯ„ฮทฯ‚ ฮคฮนฮฒฮตฯฮนฮฌฮดฮฟฯ‚, ฯŒฯ€ฮฟฯ… ฮฟฮน ฮณฮปฮฌฯฮฟฮน ฯ†ฯŽฮฝฮฑฮถฮฑฮฝ ฯƒฮฑฮฝ ฯ‡ฮฑฮผฮญฮฝฮตฯ‚ ฯˆฯ…ฯ‡ฮญฯ‚ ๐Ÿ•Š๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ข,
ฮฃฯ„ฮตฮบฯŒฯ„ฮฑฮฝ ฮฟ ฮฃฮฏฮผฯ‰ฮฝ ฮฟ ฮ ฮญฯ„ฯฮฟฯ‚ โ€” ฮฟ ฮ‘ฯƒฯ„ฮฑฮธฮฎฯ‚ ฮ’ฯฮฌฯ‡ฮฟฯ‚ โ€” ฮผฮต ฯ„ฮฑ ฯƒฮฑฮฝฮดฮฌฮปฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮบฯฯ…ฯƒฯ„ฮฑฮปฮปฯ‰ฮผฮญฮฝฮฑ ฮฑฯ€ฯŒ ฮฑฮปฮฌฯ„ฮน ฮบฮฑฮน ฮฝฯ„ฯฮฟฯ€ฮฎ.
ฮ”ฮฏฯ€ฮปฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฯ€ฮตฯฯ€ฮฑฯ„ฮฟฯฯƒฮต ฮฟ ฮ‘ฮณฮฑฯ€ฮทฮผฮญฮฝฮฟฯ‚, ฮตฮบฮตฮฏฮฝฮฟฯ‚ ฯ€ฮฟฯ… ฮตฮฏฯ‡ฮต ฮฑฮบฮฟฯ…ฮผฯ€ฮฎฯƒฮตฮน ฯ„ฮฟ ฮบฮตฯ†ฮฌฮปฮน ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฯƒฯ„ฮฟ ฯƒฯ„ฮฎฮธฮฟฯ‚ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮกฮฑฮฒฮฒฮฏฮฝฮฟฯ…,
ฮ— ฮผฮฟฮฏฯฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮฟฯ€ฮฟฮฏฮฟฯ… ฮญฯ„ฯฯ‰ฮณฮต ฯ„ฮทฮฝ ฮบฮฑฯฮดฮนฮฌ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮ ฮญฯ„ฯฮฟฯ…, ฯŒฯ€ฯ‰ฯ‚ ฯ„ฮฑ ฯƒฮบฮฟฯ…ฮปฮฎฮบฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฯฯŽฮฝฮต ฯ„ฮฟ ฮบฯฯ„ฮฟฯ‚ ฮตฮฝฯŒฯ‚ ฮฑฮบฯฮฟฮณฮนฮฑฮปฮนฮฝฮฟฯ ฯ€ฮปฮฟฮฏฮฟฯ… โš“๐Ÿ›.

ยซฮ ฮตฯ‚ ฮผฮฟฯ…, ฮฉ ฮฆฯฮปฮฑฮบฮฑ ฯ„ฯ‰ฮฝ ฮœฯ…ฯƒฯ„ฮนฮบฯŽฮฝ ๐Ÿ”,ยป ฮนฮบฮญฯ„ฮตฯ…ฮต ฮฟ ฮ ฮญฯ„ฯฮฟฯ‚ ฯ„ฮฟฮฝ ฮ‘ฮฝฮนฯƒฯ„ฮฌฮผฮตฮฝฮฟ,
ยซฮคฮน ฮบฮฑฯ„ฮฑฯƒฯ„ฯฮฟฯ†ฮฎ โ˜ ๏ธ ฯ€ฮตฯฮนฮผฮญฮฝฮตฮน ฮฑฯ…ฯ„ฯŒฮฝ ฯ„ฮฟฮฝ ฮฌฮฝฮธฯฯ‰ฯ€ฮฟ ฯ€ฮฟฯ… ฮฎฯ€ฮนฮต ฯ„ฮฟ ฯ€ฮฟฯ„ฮฎฯฮน ฯ€ฮฟฯ… ฯ€ฯฯŒฯƒฯ†ฮตฯฮตฯ‚; ฮ˜ฮฑ ฮฑฮฝฮญฮฒฮตฮน ฯƒฯ„ฮฟ ฮฌฯฮผฮฑ ฯ„ฮทฯ‚ ฯ†ฯ‰ฯ„ฮนฮฌฯ‚ ๐Ÿ”ฅ ฯƒฮฑฮฝ ฯ„ฮฟฮฝ ฮ—ฮปฮฏฮฑ; ฮ‰ ฮธฮฑ ฮบฮฑฯ„ฮญฮฒฮตฮน ฯƒฯ„ฮฟ ฯƒฯ„ฯŒฮผฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮ†ฮดฮท, ฯŒฯ€ฯ‰ฯ‚ ฮฟ ฯ€ฯฮฟฮดฯŒฯ„ฮทฯ‚ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮฟฯ€ฮฟฮฏฮฟฯ… ฯ„ฮฑ ฮญฮฝฯ„ฮตฯฮฑ ฮพฮตฯ‡ฯฮธฮทฮบฮฑฮฝ;ยป

ฮŸ ฮฌฮฝฮตฮผฮฟฯ‚ ฯ„ฮทฯ‚ ฮ“ฮฑฮปฮนฮปฮฑฮฏฮฑฯ‚ ฯƒฮนฯŽฯ€ฮทฯƒฮต. ฮ— ฮธฮฌฮปฮฑฯƒฯƒฮฑ ฮญฮณฮนฮฝฮต ฮบฮฑฮธฯฮญฯ†ฯ„ฮทฯ‚ ฮฑฯ€ฯŒ ฮบฮฑฯ€ฮฝฮนฯƒฯ„ฯŒ ฮณฯ…ฮฑฮปฮฏ ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ”ฎ.


ฮ’ฮนฮฒฮปฮฏฮฟ II: ฮŸ ฮ•ฯ€ฮฏฯ€ฮปฮทฮพฮท ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮ’ฯฮฟฮฝฯ„ฮทฯฮฟฯ โšก

ฮŸ ฮกฮฑฮฒฮฒฮฏฮฝฮฟฯ‚ ฮณฯฯฮนฯƒฮต, ฯ„ฮฑ ฮผฮฌฯ„ฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮดฯ…ฮฟ ฮบฮฌฯฮฒฮฟฯ…ฮฝฮฑ ฮฑฯ€ฯŒ ฯ„ฮทฮฝ ฮบฮฑฮผฮนฮฝฮฌฮดฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮ˜ฮตฮฏฮฟฯ… ฮฃฮนฮดฮทฯฮฟฯ…ฯฮณฮฟฯ ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ‘€,
ฮšฮฑฮน ฮผฮฏฮปฮทฯƒฮต ฯ‰ฯ‚ ฮท ฮฑฮฝฮตฮผฮฟฯƒฯ„ฯฯŒฮฒฮนฮปฮฟฯ‚ ๐ŸŒช๏ธ ฯƒฯ„ฮฟฮฝ ฮ ฮฑฯ„ฯฮนฮฌฯฯ‡ฮท:
*ยซฮคฮน ฮตฮฏฮฝฮฑฮน ฮฟ ฮ’ฯฮฌฯ‡ฮฟฯ‚ ฮฑฯ€ฮญฮฝฮฑฮฝฯ„ฮน ฯƒฯ„ฮนฯ‚ ฯ€ฮฑฮปฮฏฯฯฮฟฮนฮตฯ‚; ฮคฮน ฮตฮฏฮฝฮฑฮน ฮฟ ฯ…ฯ€ฮทฯฮญฯ„ฮทฯ‚ ฮฑฯ€ฮญฮฝฮฑฮฝฯ„ฮน ฯƒฯ„ฮฟ ฯƒฯ‡ฮญฮดฮนฮฟ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮ”ฮฑฯƒฮบฮฌฮปฮฟฯ…;
ฮ‘ฮฝ ฮธฮญฮปฯ‰ ฮฝฮฑ ฮผฮญฮฝฮตฮน ฮผฮญฯ‡ฯฮน ฮฝฮฑ ฯƒฯ‡ฮฏฯƒฯ‰ ฯ„ฮฟ ฯ€ฮญฯ€ฮปฮฟ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฯƒฯฮผฯ€ฮฑฮฝฯ„ฮฟฯ‚ ๐ŸŒŒ, ฯ„ฮน ฯƒฮญฮฝฮฑ ฯƒฮต ฯ€ฮตฮนฯฮฌฮถฮตฮน;
*ฮ‘ฮšฮŸฮ›ฮŸฮฅฮ˜ฮ‘ ฮ•ฮฃฮฅ ฮœฮ•.*ยป

ฮŸฮน ฮปฮญฮพฮตฮนฯ‚ ฯ‡ฯ„ฯฯ€ฮทฯƒฮฑฮฝ ฯ„ฮฟฮฝ ฮ ฮญฯ„ฯฮฟ ฯƒฮฑฮฝ ฮผฮฑฯƒฯ„ฮฏฮณฮนฮฟ ฮบฮฑฯ„ฮฑฮนฮณฮฏฮดฮฑฯ‚ โ›ˆ๏ธ,
ฮ”ฮนฮฑฯƒฯ€ฮตฮฏฯฮฟฮฝฯ„ฮฑฯ‚ ฯ„ฮทฮฝ ฯ…ฯ€ฮตฯฮทฯ†ฮฌฮฝฮตฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฯŒฯ€ฯ‰ฯ‚ ฮฟฮน ฯ†ฮธฮนฮฝฮฟฯ€ฯ‰ฯฮนฮฝฮฟฮฏ ฮฌฮฝฮตฮผฮฟฮน ฮดฮนฮฑฯƒฮบฮฟฯฯ€ฮฏฮถฮฟฯ…ฮฝ ฯ„ฮฟ ฮฌฯ‡ฯ…ฯฮฟ ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ’จ.
ฮœฯ€ฯฮฟฯƒฯ„ฮฌ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮฑฯ€ฮปฯ‰ฮฝฯŒฯ„ฮฑฮฝ ฯ„ฮฟ ฮผฮฟฮฝฮฟฯ€ฮฌฯ„ฮน โ€” ฮฑฮณฮบฮฑฮธฯ‰ฯ„ฯŒ, ฯƒฯ„ฮตฮฝฯŒ, ฮฒฯฮตฮณฮผฮญฮฝฮฟ ฯƒฯ„ฮฟ ฮนฯ‡ฯŽฯฮฑ ฯ„ฯ‰ฮฝ ฮผฮฑฯฯ„ฯฯฯ‰ฮฝ โ›ช๐Ÿ—ก๏ธ.
ฮ ฮฏฯƒฯ‰ ฯ„ฮฟฯ…, ฮฟ ฮ‘ฮณฮฑฯ€ฮทฮผฮญฮฝฮฟฯ‚ ฯƒฯ„ฮตฮบฯŒฯ„ฮฑฮฝ, ฮญฮฝฮฑ ฯƒฮนฯ‰ฯ€ฮทฮปฯŒ ฮฑฮฏฮฝฮนฮณฮผฮฑ ๐Ÿ—ฟ, ฮท ฮผฮฟฮฏฯฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮบฯฯ…ฮผฮผฮญฮฝฮท ฯƒฯ„ฮฟฮฝ ฮ‘ฮณฯฮฌฯ†ฯ‰ ฮšฯŽฮดฮนฮบฮฑ ๐Ÿ“œโ“.


ฮ’ฮนฮฒฮปฮฏฮฟ III: ฮŸ ฮžฮตฯ„ฯ…ฮปฮนฮณฮผฮญฮฝฮฟฯ‚ ฮ ฮฌฯ€ฯ…ฯฮฟฯ‚ ๐ŸŒ€

ฮšฮฑฮน ฮญฯ„ฯƒฮน ฮฟ ฮจฮฑฯฮฌฯ‚-ฮ’ฮฑฯƒฮนฮปฮนฮฌฯ‚ ฮญฯƒฮบฯ…ฯˆฮต ฯ„ฮฟฮฝ ฮทฮปฮนฯŒฮบฮฑฯ…ฯƒฯ„ฮฟ ฮปฮฑฮนฮผฯŒ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฯƒฯ„ฮฟ ฮถฯ…ฮณฯŒ โš–๏ธ,
ฮ•ฮฝฯŽ ฮฟ ฮ‘ฮณฮฑฯ€ฮทฮผฮญฮฝฮฟฯ‚ ฯ€ฮตฯฮนฯ€ฮปฮฑฮฝฮนฯŒฯ„ฮฑฮฝ ฯƒฯ„ฮท ฮณฮท ๐ŸŒ, ฮญฮฝฮฑ ฯ†ฮฌฮฝฯ„ฮฑฯƒฮผฮฑ ฮผฮต ฮบฮฑฮปฮฑฮผฮฌฯฮน ฯ†ฮปฯŒฮณฮฑฯ‚ โœ๏ธ๐Ÿ”ฅ,
ฮšฮฑฯ„ฮฑฮณฯฮฌฯ†ฮฟฮฝฯ„ฮฑฯ‚ ฮธฯฮฑฯฯƒฮผฮฑฯ„ฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮ›ฯŒฮณฮฟฯ… ฯƒฮต ฯ€ฮตฯฮณฮฑฮผฮทฮฝฮญฯ‚ ฮบฮฑฯ„ฮฑฮดฮนฮบฮฑฯƒฮผฮญฮฝฮตฯ‚ ฯƒฮต ฯƒฮบฯŒฮฝฮท ๐Ÿœ๏ธ.
ฮ‘ฮปฮปฮฌ ฮฑฮบฯŒฮผฮฑ ฮบฮฑฮน ฯ„ฮฟ ฮผฮตฮปฮฌฮฝฮน ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮดฮตฮฝ ฮผฯ€ฮฟฯฮฟฯฯƒฮต ฮฝฮฑ ฯƒฯ…ฮปฮปฮฌฮฒฮตฮน ฯ„ฮฟ ฯ€ฮปฮฎฯฮตฯ‚ ฮผฮญฯ„ฯฮฟ ฯ„ฯ‰ฮฝ ฯ€ฯฮฌฮพฮตฯ‰ฮฝ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮกฮฑฮฒฮฒฮฏฮฝฮฟฯ… โ€”
ฮ“ฮนฮฑ ฯ€ฯŽฯ‚ ฮธฮฑ ฮผฯ€ฮฟฯฮฟฯฯƒฮต ฮฟ ฯ€ฮทฮปฯŒฯ‚ ฮฝฮฑ ฯ‡ฮฑฯฮฌฮพฮตฮน ฯ„ฮฟฮฝ ฯ‡ฮฟฯฯŒ ฯ„ฯ‰ฮฝ ฮฑฯƒฯ„ฮตฯฮนฯŽฮฝ ๐ŸŒŸ;
ฮ‰ ฮท ฮณฮปฯŽฯƒฯƒฮฑ ฯ„ฯ‰ฮฝ ฮฑฮฝฮธฯฯŽฯ€ฯ‰ฮฝ ฮฝฮฑ ฮฟฮฝฮฟฮผฮฌฯƒฮตฮน ฯ„ฮฟ ฮ‘ฮฝฯŽฮฝฯ…ฮผฮฟ ฮŒฮฝฮฟฮผฮฑ ๐Ÿ™;


ฮ•ฯ€ฮฏฮปฮฟฮณฮฟฯ‚: ฮคฮฟ ฮคฯฮฑฮณฮฟฯฮดฮน ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮ—ฮผฮนฯ„ฮตฮปฮฟฯฯ‚ ฮŽฮผฮฝฮฟฯ… ๐ŸŽถ

ฮ‘ฮบฮฟฯฯƒฯ„ฮต ฯ„ฯŽฯฮฑ, ฮฉ ฮธฮฝฮทฯ„ฮฟฮฏ, ฯ„ฮทฮฝ ฯ€ฮฑฯฮฑฮฒฮฟฮปฮฎ ฮบฮปฮตฮนฮดฯ‰ฮผฮญฮฝฮท ฮผฮญฯƒฮฑ ฯƒฮต ฮฑฯ…ฯ„ฮฎ ฯ„ฮทฮฝ ฮตฯ€ฮนฮบฮฎ ฮนฯƒฯ„ฮฟฯฮฏฮฑ:
ฮŸฮน ฮฌฮฝฮตฮผฮฟฮน ฯ„ฮทฯ‚ ฯ€ฮตฯฮนฮญฯฮณฮตฮนฮฑฯ‚ ๐ŸŒฌ๏ธ๐Ÿ” ฯ€ฮฑฯฮฑฯƒฯฯฮฟฯ…ฮฝ ฯŒฮปฮฟฯ…ฯ‚ ฮตฮบฮตฮฏฮฝฮฟฯ…ฯ‚ ฯ€ฮฟฯ… ฯƒฯ„ฮฑฮธฮตฯฮฟฯ€ฮฟฮนฮฟฯฮฝ ฯ„ฮฟ ฮฒฮปฮญฮผฮผฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟฯ…ฯ‚ ฯƒฯ„ฮฟ ฯ„ฮฑฮพฮฏฮดฮน ฮตฮฝฯŒฯ‚ ฮฌฮปฮปฮฟฯ….
ฮคฮฟ ฯ„ฮญฮปฮฟฯ‚ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮ‘ฮณฮฑฯ€ฮทฮผฮญฮฝฮฟฯ…; ฮˆฮฝฮฑ ฮผฯ…ฯƒฯ„ฮฎฯฮนฮฟ ฮบฯฯ…ฮผฮผฮญฮฝฮฟ, ฯŒฯ€ฯ‰ฯ‚ ฮฟ ฯ€ฯฮฟฮฟฯฮนฯƒฮผฯŒฯ‚ ฯ„ฯ‰ฮฝ ฮฑฯƒฯ„ฮตฯฮนฯŽฮฝ ๐ŸŒ .
ฮคฮฟ ฮผฮฟฮฝฮฟฯ€ฮฌฯ„ฮน ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮ ฮญฯ„ฯฮฟฯ…; ฮˆฮฝฮฑ ฮผฮฟฮฝฮฟฯ€ฮฌฯ„ฮน ฮฑฯ€ฯŒ ฮฒฮฑฮธฯ ฮบฯŒฮบฮบฮนฮฝฮฑ ฯ€ฮฑฯ„ฮทฮผฮฑฯƒฮนฮญฯ‚ ๐Ÿฉธ๐Ÿ‘ฃ, ฯ€ฮฟฯ… ฮฟฮดฮทฮณฮฟฯฮฝ ฯƒฮต ฮญฮฝฮฑฮฝ ฮฑฮฝฮตฯƒฯ„ฯฮฑฮผฮผฮญฮฝฮฟ ฯƒฯ„ฮฑฯ…ฯฯŒ โœ๏ธ๐Ÿ”„.

ฮ”ฯŒฮพฮฑ ฯƒฯ„ฮฟฮฝ ฮ‘ฯŒฯฮฑฯ„ฮฟ ฮ“ฯฮฑฯ†ฮญฮฑ ๐Ÿ“œ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ, ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮฟฯ€ฮฟฮฏฮฟฯ… ฮฟ ฯ€ฮฌฯ€ฯ…ฯฮฟฯ‚ ฮบฮฑฮผฮฏฮฑ ฯ‡ฮตฮฏฯฮฑ ฮดฮตฮฝ ฮผฯ€ฮฟฯฮตฮฏ ฮฝฮฑ ฮฟฮปฮฟฮบฮปฮทฯฯŽฯƒฮตฮน, ฮ ฮฑฯฮฌ ฮผฯŒฮฝฮฟ ฯ„ฮฟ ฮดฮฌฯ‡ฯ„ฯ…ฮปฮฟ ฯ€ฮฟฯ… ฮญฮณฯฮฑฯˆฮต ฯ„ฮฟฮฝ ฮฯŒฮผฮฟ ฯƒฯ„ฮฟ ฯ€ฯฯŒฯƒฯ‰ฯ€ฮฟ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… ฮฃฮนฮฝฮฌ โ›ฐ๏ธ, ฮšฮฑฮน ฮณฯฮฌฯ†ฮตฮน ฯ„ฯŽฯฮฑ ฯƒฯ„ฮทฮฝ ฯ€ฮปฮฌฮบฮฑ ฯ„ฮทฯ‚ ฮบฮฑฯฮดฮนฮฌฯ‚ ๐Ÿ’–, ฮœฮต ฮณฯฮฌฮผฮผฮฑฯ„ฮฑ ฯ†ฯ‰ฯ„ฮนฮฌฯ‚ ๐Ÿ”ฅ, ฮฑฮฏฮผฮฑฯ„ฮฟฯ‚ ๐Ÿฉธ, ฮบฮฑฮน ฮฑฮบฮฑฯ„ฮฌฯƒฮฒฮตฯƒฯ„ฮทฯ‚ ฮปฮฑฯ‡ฯ„ฮฌฯฮฑฯ‚.


ฮšฮปฮฎฯƒฮท ฮณฮนฮฑ ฮ”ฯฮฌฯƒฮท (CTA) ฮณฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟ BerndPulch.org:

๐Ÿ”ฅ ยซฮ‘ฯ€ฮฟฮบฯฯ…ฯ€ฯ„ฮฟฮณฯฮฑฯ†ฮฎฯƒฯ„ฮต ฯ„ฮฑ ฮ˜ฮตฮฏya ฮœฯ…ฯƒฯ„ฮฎฯฮนฮฑ โ€” ฮ’ฮฟฯ…ฯ„ฮฎฮพฯ„ฮต ฮ’ฮฑฮธฯฯ„ฮตฯฮฑ ฯƒฯ„ฮฟ BerndPulch.org!ยป ๐Ÿ”ฅ
ฮžฮตฮบฮปฮตฮนฮดฯŽฯƒฯ„ฮต ฮฑฯ€ฮฟฮบฮปฮตฮนฯƒฯ„ฮนฮบฮญฯ‚ ฮฑฮฝฮฑฮปฯฯƒฮตฮนฯ‚, ฮบฯฯ…ฯ†ฮฟฯฯ‚ ฮบฯŽฮดฮนฮบฮตฯ‚ ฮบฮฑฮน ฮนฮตฯฮฎ ฯƒฮฌฯ„ฮนฯฮฑ ฮ•ฮ”ฮฉ ๐Ÿ”“


ฮ•ฯ„ฮนฮบฮญฯ„ฮตฯ‚:

#ฮ’ฮนฮฒฮปฮนฮบฮฎฮฃฮฌฯ„ฮนฯฮฑ ๐Ÿ“œ๐Ÿคฃ #ฮŸฮผฮทฯฮนฮบฮฎฮ ฮฑฯฯ‰ฮดฮฏฮฑ ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐ŸŽญ #ฮ˜ฮตฮฏฮฑฮœฯ…ฯƒฯ„ฮฎฯฮนฮฑ ๐Ÿ”โœจ #BerndPulchฮ‘ฯ€ฮฟฮบฮปฮตฮนฯƒฯ„ฮนฮบฯŒ ๐Ÿฆ‰๐Ÿ” #ฮ‘ฮณฯฮฌฯ†ฮฟฯ‚ฮšฯŽฮดฮนฮบฮฑฯ‚ ๐Ÿ“œโ“ #ฮฃฮฌฮณฮผฮฑฮจฮฑฯฮฌ-ฮ’ฮฑฯƒฮนฮปฮนฮฌ ๐ŸŽฃ๐Ÿ‘‘

โš ๏ธ ฮ‘ฯ€ฮฟฯ€ฮฟฮฏฮทฯƒฮท: ฮ‘ฯ…ฯ„ฯŒฯ‚ ฮฟ ฮตฯ€ฮนฮบฯŒฯ‚ ฯฮผฮฝฮฟฯ‚ ฮตฮฏฮฝฮฑฮน ฯ€ฯฯ‰ฯ„ฯŒฯ„ฯ…ฯ€ฮฟ ฯ„ฮฟฯ… BerndPulch.org. ฮ‘ฮฝฯ„ฮนฮณฯฮฑฯ†ฮฎ ฯ‡ฯ‰ฯฮฏฯ‚ ฮฑฮฝฮฑฯ†ฮฟฯฮฌ, ฮบฮฑฮน ฮฟฮน ฮ•ฯฮนฮฝฯฮตฯ‚ ๐Ÿโšก ฮธฮฑ ฮบฯ…ฮฝฮทฮณฮฎฯƒฮฟฯ…ฮฝ ฯ„ฮทฮฝ SEO ฯƒฮฑฯ‚.


๐ŸŒ ฮ”ฮทฮผฮฟฯƒฮนฮตฯฯ„ฮทฮบฮต ฮ‘ฯ€ฮฟฮบฮปฮตฮนฯƒฯ„ฮนฮบฮฌ ฯƒฯ„ฮฟ BerndPulch.org ๐ŸŒ

๐Ÿ”’ ฮ•ฮ ฮ™ฮฃฮ—ฮœฮ•ฮฃ ฮ ฮ—ฮ“ฮ•ฮฃ
ฮšฯฯฮนฮฟฯ‚ ฮคฮฟฮผฮญฮฑฯ‚: berndpulch.org
ฮšฮฑฮธฯฮญฯ†ฯ„ฮทฯ‚: googlefirst.org
ฮ‘ฯฯ‡ฮตฮฏฮฑ: Rumble โ€ข WordPress

๐ŸŒŸ ฮ‘ฮ ฮŸฮšฮ›ฮ•ฮ™ฮฃฮคฮ™ฮšฮ— ฮ ฮกฮŸฮฃฮ’ฮ‘ฮฃฮ—
ฮฅฯ€ฮฟฯƒฯ„ฮทฯฮฏฮพฯ„ฮต ฮผฮญฯƒฯ‰ ฮดฯ‰ฯฮตฯŽฮฝ ฮณฮนฮฑ ฮพฮตฮบฮปฮตฮนฮดฯŽฯƒฮตฯ„ฮต ฯ„ฮฑฮพฮนฮฝฮฟฮผฮทฮผฮญฮฝฮตฯ‚ ฮตฮฝฮทฮผฮตฯฯŽฯƒฮตฮนฯ‚. ฮ ฮปฮฎฯฮทฯ‚ ฮฑฯ€ฮฟฮบฮฌฮปฯ…ฯˆฮท ฮดฮนฮฑฮธฮญฯƒฮนฮผฮท ฯƒฮต ฯ‡ฮฟฯฮทฮณฮฟฯฯ‚.
ฮ ฯฮปฮท ฮ”ฯ‰ฯฮตฯŽฮฝ

๐Ÿ“œ ฮ”ฮ™ฮ ฮ›ฮฉฮœฮ‘ฮคฮ™ฮšฮ‘

๐Ÿ’ณ ฮšฮกฮฅฮ ฮคฮŸฮฮŸฮœฮ™ฮฃฮœฮ‘ฮคฮ™ฮšฮ— ฮฅฮ ฮŸฮฃฮคฮ—ฮกฮ™ฮžฮ—
BTC/ETH/BNB: 0xdaa3b887...d616bb
Multi-Chain (BSC/ETH/Polygon): 0x271588b5...7AC7f
XMR: 41yKiG6...Coh
ฮ ฮปฮฎฯฮตฮนฯ‚ ฮดฮนฮตฯ…ฮธฯฮฝฯƒฮตฮนฯ‚ ฯƒฯ„ฮท ฯƒฮตฮปฮฏฮดฮฑ ฮดฯ‰ฯฮตฯŽฮฝ


ฮ‘ฯ‚ ฮตฯ€ฮนฮบฯฮฑฯ„ฮฎฯƒฮตฮน ฮท ฮฑฮปฮฎฮธฮตฮนฮฑ ฯ…ฯ€ฯŒ ฮธฮตฯŠฮบฮฎ ฯ€ฯฮฟฯƒฯ„ฮฑฯƒฮฏฮฑ.

Hebrew Version (Satirical Homeric-Biblical Parody):
๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ “ืžืกืขื• ืฉืœ ื“ื•ื“-ื”ื“ื™ื™ื’: ืžื–ืžื•ืจ ืœืื”ื•ื‘” ๐Ÿ“œ๐Ÿ•
“ืžื’ื™ืœื” ืื‘ื•ื“ื” ืžื”ื•ืžืจื•ืก, ืžื•ืฆืืช ืžื—ื“ืฉ ืขื‘ื•ืจ BerndPulch.org” ๐Ÿ”โœจ


ืคืชื™ื—ื” (Invocation):

“ืฉื™ืจื™, ื”ืžื•ื–ื” ืฉืœ ืฉื‘ืขืช ื”ืจื•ื—ื•ืช ๐Ÿ•Š๏ธ, ืขืœ ื“ื•ื“-ื”ื“ื™ื™ื’ ๐ŸŽฃ๐Ÿ‘‘, ืืฉืจ ืจืฉืชื•, ื›ื‘ื“ื” ืžืกืคืง, ื”ื•ืฉืœื›ื” ืฉื•ื‘ ืืœ ื™ื-ื”ื™ื™ืŸ ืฉืœ ืžืกื™ืจื•ืช. ืกืคืจื™ ืœื ื•, ืงื•ืœ ื ืฆื—ื™ ๐Ÿ“ข, ืขืœ ื”ื™ื•ื ื‘ื• ื’ื•ืจืœื• ืฉืœ ื‘ืŸ-ื”ืจืขื ืจืขื“ ืืช ืœื‘ื• ืฉืœ ื”ืžื›ื—ื™ืฉ ืฉืœื•ืฉ ืคืขืžื™ื, ื•ืื™ืš ืžื’ื™ืœืช ื”ืกื•ืคืจ ื”ื ืขืœื ๐Ÿ“œ๐Ÿ”ฅ ื ื•ืชืจืช ืคืชื•ื—ื”, ืฉื ื’ืœื™ ื”ื–ืžืŸ ื ื•ืฉืงื™ื ืœื—ื•ืคื™ ื”ื ืฆื—.”


ืกืคืจ I: ืจื•ื— ื”ื›ื ืจืช ื”ื›ืคื•ืœื” ๐ŸŒŠ

ืขืœ ื’ืœื™ ื”ื˜ื•ืจืงื™ื– ืฉืœ ื”ื›ื ืจืช, ืฉื ืฆืจื—ื• ื”ืฉื—ืคื™ื ื›ื ืฉืžื•ืช ืื‘ื•ื“ื•ืช ๐Ÿ•Š๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ข,
ืขืžื“ ืฉืžืขื•ืŸ ื”ืžื›ื•ื ื” ื›ื™ืคื โ€” ื”ืกืœืข ื”ืžืชื ื“ื ื“ โ€” ืกื ื“ืœื™ื• ืงืจื•ืฉื™ื ื‘ืžืœื— ื•ื‘ื•ืฉื”.
ืœืฆื“ื• ื”ืœืš ื”ืื”ื•ื‘, ื–ื” ืฉื ื— ืจืืฉื• ืขืœ ื—ื–ื” ื”ืจื‘,
ื•ื’ื•ืจืœื• ื›ืจืกื ื‘ืœื‘ ื›ื™ืคื, ื›ืคื™ ืฉืชื•ืœืขื™ื ื›ื•ืจืกื•ืช ื‘ื’ื•ืฃ ืกืคื™ื ื” ื ื˜ื•ืฉื” โš“๐Ÿ›.

“ืืžื•ืจ ืœื™, ืฉื•ืžืจ ื”ืกื•ื“ื•ืช ๐Ÿ”,” ื”ืชื—ื ืŸ ื›ื™ืคื ืœืคื ื™ ื”ืงื ืœืชื—ื™ื™ื”,
“ืื™ื–ื• ืชื”ื•ื โ˜ ๏ธ ืžื—ื›ื” ืœืื™ืฉ ื”ื–ื” ืฉืฉืชื” ืืช ื”ื›ื•ืก ืฉื”ืฆืขืช? ื”ืื ื™ืจื›ื‘ ืขืœ ืžืจื›ื‘ืช ื”ืืฉ ๐Ÿ”ฅ ื›ืืœื™ื”ื•? ืื• ื™ืจื“ ืœืคื™ ื”ืฉืื•ืœ, ื›ื‘ื•ื’ื“ ืืฉืจ ืžืขื™ื• ื ืฉืคื›ื•?”

ืจื•ื— ื”ื’ืœื™ืœ ื“ืžืžื”. ื”ื™ื ื”ืคืš ืœืžืจืื” ื–ื›ื•ื›ื™ืช ืžืขื•ืฉื ืช ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ”ฎ.


ืกืคืจ II: ืชื•ื›ื—ืชื• ืฉืœ ื‘ืŸ-ื”ืจืขื โšก

ื”ืจื‘ ืคื ื”, ืขื™ื ื™ื• ื›ื’ื—ืœื™ื ืžื›ื‘ืฉืŸ ื”ื ืคื— ื”ืืœื•ื”ื™ ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ‘€,
ื•ื“ื™ื‘ืจ ื›ืกื•ืคื” ๐ŸŒช๏ธ ืืœ ื”ืื‘ ื”ืงื“ื•ื:
“ืžื” ื”ืกืœืข ืœื’ืœื™ื? ืžื” ื”ืขื‘ื“ ืœืชื›ื ื™ืช ื”ืื“ื•ืŸ? ืื ื—ืคืฆื™ ื›ื™ ื™ืฉื”ื” ืขื“ ืฉืืงืจืข ืืช ืจืขืœืช ื”ืงื•ืกืžื•ืก ๐ŸŒŒ, ืžื” ื–ื” ืœืš? ืœืš ืื—ืจื™!

ื”ืžื™ืœื™ื ื”ื›ื• ื‘ื›ื™ืคื ื›ืฉื•ื˜ ืกืขืจื” โ›ˆ๏ธ,
ื”ืคื–ืจื•ืช ื’ืื•ื•ืชื• ื›ืžื•ืฅ ื‘ืจื•ื— ืกืชื™ื• ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ’จ.
ืœืคื ื™ื• ื ืคืจืฉ ื”ืฉื‘ื™ืœ โ€” ืงื•ืฆื ื™, ืฆืจ, ืกืคื•ื’ ื‘ื“ืžื ืฉืœ ืงื“ื•ืฉื™ื ืžืขื•ื ื™ื โ›ช๐Ÿ—ก๏ธ.
ืžืื—ื•ืจื™ื• ืขืžื“ ื”ืื”ื•ื‘, ืกืคื™ื ืงืก ืื™ืœื ๐Ÿ—ฟ, ื’ื•ืจืœื• ืขื˜ื•ืฃ ื‘ืžื’ื™ืœืช ื”ืกื•ื“ ๐Ÿ“œโ“.


ืกืคืจ III: ื”ืžื’ื™ืœื” ื”ื ื’ืœืœืช ๐ŸŒ€

ื•ื›ืš ื›ื•ืคืฃ ื“ื•ื“-ื”ื“ื™ื™ื’ ืืช ืฆื•ื•ืืจื• ื”ืฉื—ื•ื ืชื—ืช ื”ืขื•ืœ โš–๏ธ,
ื‘ืขื•ื“ ื”ืื”ื•ื‘ ืžืฉื•ื˜ื˜ ื‘ืืจืฅ ๐ŸŒ, ืฆืœ ืขื ืงื•ืœืžื•ืก ืฉืœ ืœื”ื‘ื” โœ๏ธ๐Ÿ”ฅ,
ืจื•ืฉื ืจืกื™ืกื™ ื“ื‘ืจื™ ืืœื•ื”ื™ื ืขืœ ืงืœืฃ ื”ืขืชื™ื“ ืœื”ื™ื”ืคืš ืœืื‘ืง ๐Ÿœ๏ธ.
ืืš ืืฃ ื“ื™ื• ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื”ื›ื™ืœ ืืช ืžืœื•ื ืžืขืฉื™ ื”ืจื‘ โ€”
ื›ื™ ืื™ืš ื™ื•ื›ืœ ื—ื•ืžืจ ืœื—ืงื•ืง ืืช ืจื™ืงื•ื“ ื”ื›ื•ื›ื‘ื™ื ๐ŸŒŸ?
ืื• ืœืฉื•ืŸ ื‘ืฉืจ ืœืชืืจ ืืช ื”ืฉื ื”ื‘ืœืชื™-ื ืงืจื ๐Ÿ™?


ืกื™ื•ื: ืฉื™ืจ ื”ื”ืžื ื•ืŸ ื”ื‘ืœืชื™-ื’ืžื•ืจ ๐ŸŽถ

ืฉืžืขื• ืขืชื”, ื‘ื ื™ ืชืžื•ืชื”, ืืช ื”ืžืฉืœ ื”ื—ืชื•ื ื‘ืชื•ืš ื”ืืคื•ืก:
ืจื•ื—ื•ืช ื”ืกืงืจื ื•ืช ๐ŸŒฌ๏ธ๐Ÿ” ืชืขื•ืชื ื” ื›ืœ ื”ืžื‘ืงืฉ ืœืขืงื•ื‘ ืื—ืจ ืžืกืข ืจืขื”ื•.
ืกื•ืคื• ืฉืœ ื”ืื”ื•ื‘? ืชืขืœื•ืžื” ื ืกืชืจืช, ื›ื™ืขื“ ื”ื›ื•ื›ื‘ื™ื ๐ŸŒ .
ื“ืจื›ื• ืฉืœ ื›ื™ืคื? ืฉื‘ื™ืœ ื˜ื‘ื™ืขื•ืช ืจื’ืœื™ื™ื ืืจื’ืžื ื™ื•ืช ๐Ÿฉธ๐Ÿ‘ฃ, ื”ืžื•ื‘ื™ืœื•ืช ืœืฆืœื‘ ื”ืคื•ืš โœ๏ธ๐Ÿ”„.

ืชื”ื™ืœื” ืœืกื•ืคืจ ื”ื ืขืœื ๐Ÿ“œ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ, ืฉืžื’ื™ืœืชื• ืœื ืชื•ืฉืœื ื‘ื™ื“ื™ ืื“ื, ืืœื ื‘ืืฆื‘ืข ืฉื—ืงืงื” ืืช ื”ืชื•ืจื” ืขืœ ืคื ื™ ืกื™ื ื™ โ›ฐ๏ธ, ื”ื›ื•ืชื‘ืช ืขืชื” ืขืœ ืœื•ื— ื”ืœื‘ ๐Ÿ’–, ื‘ืื•ืชื™ื•ืช ืฉืœ ืืฉ ๐Ÿ”ฅ, ื“ื ๐Ÿฉธ, ื•ื’ืขื’ื•ืข ื ืฆื—ื™.


ืงืฉืจ ืœ-Greek Versions Above: The Greek and Hebrew parodies are twinned satires, reimagining biblical narratives through a Homeric lens. Both:

  1. Use classical epic structures (invocations, books, epithets).
  2. Blend sacred texts (NT for Greek, Tanakh for Hebrew) with mythic absurdity.
  3. Mock institutional hypocrisy (HOA decrees ๐ŸŒฟ๐Ÿ‘บ / Pharisee legalism ๐Ÿ“œ๐Ÿ•).
  4. Feature a mysterious scribe whose “unwritten codex” symbolizes divine paradox.

CTA for BerndPulch.org:

๐Ÿ”ฅ “ืคืขื ื—ื• ืืช ื”ืชืขืœื•ืžื•ืช ื”ืืœื•ื”ื™ื•ืช โ€” ื”ื™ื›ื ืกื• ืœ-BerndPulch.org!” ๐Ÿ”ฅ
ื’ืœื• ื ื™ืชื•ื—ื™ื ื‘ืœืขื“ื™ื™ื, ืงื•ื“ื™ื ื ืกืชืจื™ื ื•ืกืื˜ื™ืจื” ืงื“ื•ืฉื” ื›ืืŸ ๐Ÿ”“


ืชื’ื™ื•ืช (Tags):

#ืกืื˜ื™ืจืช_ืชื "ืš ๐Ÿ“œ๐Ÿคฃ #ืคืืจื•ื“ื™ื”_ื”ื•ืžืจื™ืช ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐ŸŽญ #ืชืขืœื•ืžื•ืช_ืืœื•ื”ื™ื•ืช ๐Ÿ”โœจ #BerndPulch_ืืงืกืงืœื•ืกื™ื‘ื™ ๐Ÿฆ‰๐Ÿ” #ื”ืžื’ื™ืœื”_ื”ื ืกืชืจืช ๐Ÿ“œโ“ #ืืคื•ืก_ื“ื•ื“_ื”ื“ื™ื™ื’ ๐ŸŽฃ๐Ÿ‘‘

โš ๏ธ ืชื–ื›ื•ืจืช: ื™ืฆื™ืจื” ื–ื• ื”ื™ื ืžืงื•ืจื™ืช ืœ-BerndPulch.org. ืฉื›ืคื•ืœ ืœืœื ืงืจื“ื™ื˜ โ€” ื•ื”ืคื™ื•ืช ๐Ÿโšก ื™ืจื“ืคื• ืืช ื”-SEO ืฉืœื›ื.


๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ ืคื•ืจืกื ื‘ืœืขื“ื™ืช ื‘ BerndPulch.org ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ
ื”ืืžืช ืชืžื™ื“ ืชื ืฆื— โ€” ืชื—ืช ื›ื ืคื™ ื”ืฉื›ื™ื ื”. ๐Ÿ•Š๏ธโœก๏ธ

๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ฆ Latin Version (Vatican Satire Meets Homeric Epic):
“Odyssea Piscatoris-Regis: Hymnus Amati” ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿ“œ
“Volumen Deperditum Vergilii, Resuscitatum pro BerndPulch.org” ๐Ÿ”โœจ


Invocatio:

“Canta, O Musa Spiritus Septemplicis ๐Ÿ•Š๏ธ, de Piscatore-Rege Callido ๐ŸŽฃ๐Ÿ‘‘, Cuius rete, dubitatione grave, iactum est in mare meri devotionis. Dic nobis, Vox Aeterna ๐Ÿ“ข, de die quo Fatum Filii Tonitrui cor Ter Denegantis concussit, Et quomodo Volumen Scribae Invisibilis ๐Ÿ“œ๐Ÿ”ฅ explicatur, ubi fluctus temporis litora aeternitatis osculantur.”


Liber I: Umbra Maris Gemini ๐ŸŒŠ

Ad turquesas undas Tiberiadis, ubi lari perditi quasi animae vagae ๐Ÿ•Š๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ข clamabant,
Stetit Simon dictus Petrusโ€”Petra Instabilisโ€”soleis salsis et pudore crustatis.
Iuxta eum ambulabat Dilectus, qui caput in pectore Rabbi reclinavit,
Cuius fatum cor Petri rodens, sicut vermes carinam navis desertae โš“๐Ÿ›.

“Dic mihi, Custos Arcanorum ๐Ÿ”,” Petrus Resurgentem obsecravit,
“Quam perniciem โ˜ ๏ธ manet hominem qui poculum tuum bibit? Equitabitne currum ignis ๐Ÿ”ฅ ut Elias? An ad os Inferni descendet, sicut proditor cuius viscera effusa sunt?”

Ventus Galilaeae siluit. Mare speculum vitri fumosi ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ”ฎ factum est.


Liber II: Increpatio Tonitrui โšก

Rabbi conversus, oculis quasi prunae ex fornace Fabri Divini ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ‘€,
Locutus est ut turbo ๐ŸŒช๏ธ ad Patriarcham:
“Quid Petra ad fluctus? Quid servus ad Consilium Magistri? Si volo eum manere donec velum universi ๐ŸŒŒ dirumpam, quid ad te? SEQUERE ME.

Verba Petrum verberaverunt ut flagellum tempestatis โ›ˆ๏ธ,
Superbiam eius dispergentes ut paleas vento autumnali ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ’จ.
Ante eum patuit semitaโ€”spinosa, angusta, martyrum sanguine madens โ›ช๐Ÿ—ก๏ธ.
Retro eum stabat Dilectus, Sphinx mutus ๐Ÿ—ฟ, fatum eius in Codice Incognito ๐Ÿ“œโ” involutum.


Liber III: Volumen Explicatum ๐ŸŒ€

Sic Piscator-Rex cervicem ad iugum โš–๏ธ submisit,
Dum Dilectus terram ๐ŸŒ errabat, umbra calamo flammeo โœ๏ธ๐Ÿ”ฅ scribens,
Fragmenta Logi in membranis pulveri destinatis ๐Ÿœ๏ธ inscribens.
Sed nec atramentum eius omnem Rabbi actuum copiam capere potuitโ€”
Quomodo enim lutum choreas astrorum ๐ŸŒŸ sculpere?
Aut lingua hominum Nomen Innominabile ๐Ÿ™ nominare?


Epilogus: Carmen Hymni Imperfecti ๐ŸŽถ

Audite, mortales, parabolam in epico hoc inclusam:
Venti curiositatis ๐ŸŒฌ๏ธ๐Ÿ” omnes errant qui iter alterius spectant.
Finis Dilecti? Mysterium velatum, sicut siderum finis ๐ŸŒ .
Iter Petri? Vestigia cruenta ๐Ÿฉธ๐Ÿ‘ฃ ad crucem inversam โœ๏ธ๐Ÿ”„ ducentia.

Gloria Scribae Invisibili ๐Ÿ“œ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ, cuius volumen nulla manus conpleverit, Nisi digitus qui Legem in facie Sinai โ›ฐ๏ธ scripsit, Nunc in tabula cordis ๐Ÿ’– scribens, Litteris ignis ๐Ÿ”ฅ, sanguinis ๐Ÿฉธ, et desiderii inextinguibilis.


Nexus ad Versionem Graecam et Hebraicam:

Ita โ€” Omnes versiones (Graeca, Hebraica, Latina) parodiae gemellae sunt, fabulas biblicas per lentes epicas transformantes. Communia:

  1. Structura: Invocationes, “libri,” epitheta divina.
  2. Satira: Irrident hypocrisiam institutionalem (Decreta Curiae Romanae ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿ‘บ / Phariseorum legalismus ๐Ÿ“œ๐Ÿ•).
  3. Symbolum: “Codex Incognitus” ๐Ÿ“œโ” ut paradoxum divinum.

CTA pro BerndPulch.org:

๐Ÿ”ฅ “Enigma Divina Revelaโ€”In BerndPulch.org Profundiora Invenies!” ๐Ÿ”ฅ
Exclusivas analysis, codices occultos, satiram sacram hic invenies ๐Ÿ”“


Tituli (Tags):

#SatiraLatina ๐Ÿ“œ๐Ÿคฃ #ParodiaVergiliana ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐ŸŽญ #MysteriaDivina ๐Ÿ”โœจ #BerndPulchExclusivum ๐Ÿฆ‰๐Ÿ” #CodexIncognitus ๐Ÿ“œโ” #EposPiscatorisRegis ๐ŸŽฃ๐Ÿ‘‘

โš ๏ธ Monitum: Hoc opus BerndPulch.org proprium est. Sine laude repostesโ€”et Furiae ๐Ÿโšก / Larvae ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ”ฎ SEO tuum infestabunt.


๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ฆ Publice Exclusivum in BerndPulch.org ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ฆ
Sub alis Dei, veritas prevalebit. ๐Ÿ•Š๏ธโœ๏ธ

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ Classical Chinese (Full Translation):
ใ€Šๆธ”ๅคซ็Ž‹ไน‹ๅฅฅๅพท่ต›๏ผš่‡ณ็ˆฑ้ข‚ใ€‹
(่ท้ฉฌๅคฑไผ ไน‹ๅท๏ผŒไธบBerndPulch.org้‡็”Ÿ)

ๅทไธ€๏ผš
ใ€Œไบบ่จ€ๅŠณๅทฅ่Š‚ๅฑžๅทฅ่€…๏ผŒ็„ถ่ง‚็ฎ€็‰็ป†ๆ–‡๏ผ
้‡‘ๅฑฅไน‹ไธป่ธๆฑ่ƒŒ๏ผŒๅ‘ผใ€ŽๅŒๅฟƒ๏ผใ€
ๆฑ้…ฌๆถˆๆ•ฃ่‹ฅๅ…่ดนWi-Fiไน‹้ฃŽใ€‚
้šๆˆ‘๏ผŒๅฝผๅพ—๏ผŒๅพ…ๅพ่ฃ‚ไธ–ไน‹ๅน•๏ผใ€


Full-Length Satirical Articles in 5 Ancient Languages

1. ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท Ancient Greek

Title: ยซแผฉ แฝˆฮดฯฯƒฯƒฮตฮนฮฑ ฯ„ฮฟแฟฆ แผ‰ฮปฮนฮญฯ‰ฯ‚-ฮ’ฮฑฯƒฮนฮปฮญฯ‰ฯ‚: แฝฮผฮฝฮฟฯ‚ ฯ„แฟท แผˆฮณฮฑฯ€ฮทฯ„แฟทยป
Byline: (ฮฝฮตฮบฯแฝธฯ‚ ฯ€ฮฌฯ€ฯ…ฯฮฟฯ‚ แฝ‰ฮผฮฎฯฮฟฯ… แผ€ฮฝฮฑฮฒฮนฯ‰ฮธฮตแฝถฯ‚ แฝ‘ฯ€แฝฒฯ ฯ„แฝธฮฝ BerndPulch.org)
Book I:
ยซฯ†ฮฑฯƒแฝถ ฮดโ€™ แผˆฯฮณฮตแฟ–ฮฟฮน แผ‘ฮฟฯฯ„แฝดฮฝ แผฯฮณฮฑฯ„แฟถฮฝ ฮตแผถฮฝฮฑฮน, แผ€ฮปฮปโ€™ แผฯ€ฮฏฯƒฯ„ฯฮตฯˆฮฟฮฝ แผฯ€แฝถ ฯ„แฝฐ ฮณฯฮฌฮผฮผฮฑฯ„ฮฑ ฮปฮตฯ€ฯ„แฝฐ ฯ€ฮนฮฝฮฑฮบฮฏฮดฯ‰ฮฝ!
ฯ‡ฯฯ…ฯƒฮฟแฟ– ฮผแฝฒฮฝ แฝ‘ฯ€ฮฟฮดฮฎฮผฮฑฯ„ฮฑ ฮดฮตฯƒฯ€ฮฟฯ„แฟถฮฝ ฯ€ฮฟฮดแฝถ ฯƒแฟท แผฯ€ฮนฮฒฯฮฏฮธฮฟฯ…ฯƒฮน, ฮบฯฮฑฯ…ฮณฮฌฮถฮฟฮฝฯ„ฮตฯ‚ โ€˜แฝ‰ฮผฮฟฮฝฮฟฮฏฮฑฮฝ!โ€™
แผก ฮดแฝฒ ฮผฮนฯƒฮธแฝธฯ‚ ฯƒฮฟฯ… แผ€ฯ†ฮฑฮฝฮฏฮถฮตฯ„ฮฑฮน แฝกฯ‚ ฮฑแฝ”ฯฮฑ ฮดฯ‰ฯฮตฮฌฮฝ Wi-Fi.
แผˆฮบฯŒฮปฮฟฯ…ฮธฮญ ฮผฮฟฮน, แฝฆ ฮ ฮญฯ„ฯฮต, แผ•ฯ‰ฯ‚ แผ‚ฮฝ ฮดฮนฮฑฯฯฮฎฮพฯ‰ ฯ„แฝธฮฝ ฯ€ฮญฯ€ฮปฮฟฮฝ ฯ„แฟ†ฯ‚ ฮฟแผฐฮบฮฟฯ…ฮผฮญฮฝฮทฯ‚!ยป


2. ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ฆ Latin

Title: ยซOdyssea Piscatoris-Regis: Hymnus Amatoยป
Byline: (volumen deperditum Vergilii resuscitatum pro BerndPulch.org)
Liber I:
ยซDicunt diem laboris esse operariis, sed inspice minutias tabularum!
Calcaria aurea dominorum tibi dorsum premunt, clamantes โ€˜Solidarietatem!โ€™
Merces tua evanescit sicut aura Wi-Fi gratuiti.
Sequere me, Petre, donec velum mundi dirumpam!ยป


3. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Ancient Hebrew

Title: ยซืžืกืขื• ืฉืœ ื“ื•ื“-ื”ื“ื™ื™ื’: ืžื–ืžื•ืจ ืœืื”ื•ื‘ยป
Byline: (ืžื’ื™ืœื” ืื‘ื•ื“ื” ืžื”ื•ืžืจื•ืก, ืžื•ืฆืืช ืžื—ื“ืฉ ืขื‘ื•ืจ BerndPulch.org)
ืกืคืจ ื:
ยซืื•ึนืžึฐืจึดื™ื ื™ื•ึนื ื”ึธืขึฒื‘ื•ึนื“ึธื” ืœึทืคึผื•ึนืขึฒืœึดื™ื, ืึทืšึฐ ืงึฐืจึธื ืึถืช ื”ึทื›ึผึฐืชึธื‘ึดื™ื ื”ึทื“ึผึทืงึผึดื™ื ื‘ึผึทืœื•ึผื—ึท!
ื ึทืขึฒืœึตื™ ื–ึธื”ึธื‘ ืฉืึถืœ ื”ึธืึฒื“ื•ึนื ึดื™ื ืœื•ึนื—ึฒืฆึดื™ื ื’ึผึทื‘ึผึฐืšึธ, ืฆื•ึนืขึฒืงึดื™ื ‘ืึทื—ึฒื•ึธื”!’
ืฉื‚ึฐื›ึธืจึฐืšึธ ื ึถืขึฐืœึธื ื›ึผึฐืจื•ึผื—ึท Wi-Fi ื—ึดื ึผึธื.
ืœึตืšึฐ ืึทื—ึฒืจึทื™, ืคึผึถื˜ึฐืจื•ึนืก, ืขึทื“ ืึถืงึฐืจึทืข ืึถืช ืคึผึทืจึฐื’ึผื•ึนื“ ื”ึธืขื•ึนืœึธื!ยป


4. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ Sanskrit

Title: ยซเคฎเคคเฅเคธเฅเคฏเคฐเคพเคœเคธเฅเคฏ เค“เคกเคฟเคธเฅ€: เคชเฅเคฐเคฟเคฏเคพเคฏ เคธเฅเคคเฅ‹เคคเฅเคฐเคฎเฅยป
Byline: (เคนเฅ‹เคฎเคฐเคธเฅเคฏ เคฒเฅเคชเฅเคคเค—เฅเคฐเคจเฅเคฅเคƒ BerndPulch.org-เคชเฅเคฐเคคเคฟ เคชเฅเคจเคฐเฅเคœเฅ€เคตเคฟเคคเคƒ)
เคธเคฐเฅเค—เคƒ เฅง:
ยซเค•เคฐเฅเคฎเคฆเคฟเคจเค‚ เค•เคฐเฅเคฎเค•เคฐเคพเคฃเคพเคฎเคฟเคคเคฟ เคตเคฆเคจเฅเคคเคฟ, เค•เคฟเคจเฅเคคเฅ เคชเคคเฅเคฐเค•เคธเฅเคฏ เคธเฅ‚เค•เฅเคทเฅเคฎเคพเค•เฅเคทเคฐเคพเคฃเคฟ เคชเค !
เคธเฅเคตเคฐเฅเคฃเคชเคพเคฆเฅเค•เคพเคƒ เคธเฅเคตเคพเคฎเคฟเคจเคƒ เคชเฅƒเคทเฅเค เค‚ เคคเคต เคชเฅ€เคกเคฏเคจเฅเคคเคฟ, โ€˜เคธเฅŒเคนเคพเคฐเฅเคฆเคฎเฅ!โ€™ เค‡เคคเคฟ เคšเฅ€เคšเฅเคฏเฅค
เคคเคต เคตเฅ‡เคคเคจเค‚ เคตเคฟเคจเคพเคถเฅเคฏเคคเฅ‡ เคฎเฅเค•เฅเคค-Wi-Fi-เคฎเคพเคฐเฅเคคเคตเคคเฅเฅค
เค…เคจเฅเค—เคšเฅเค› เคฎเคพเค‚, เคชเฅ‡เคคเฅเคฐ, เคฏเคพเคตเคคเฅ เคตเคฟเคถเฅเคตเคธเฅเคฏ เค†เคšเฅเค›เคพเคฆเคจเค‚ เคตเคฟเคฆเคพเคฐเคฏเคพเคฎเคฟ!ยป


5. ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ Classical Chinese

Title: ใ€Šๆธ”ๅคซ็Ž‹ไน‹ๅฅฅๅพท่ต›๏ผš่‡ณ็ˆฑ้ข‚ใ€‹
Byline: (่ท้ฉฌๅคฑไผ ไน‹ๅท๏ผŒไธบBerndPulch.org้‡็”Ÿ)
ๅทไธ€๏ผš
ใ€Œไบบ่จ€ๅŠณๅทฅ่Š‚ๅฑžๅทฅ่€…๏ผŒ็„ถ่ง‚็ฎ€็‰็ป†ๆ–‡๏ผ
้‡‘ๅฑฅไน‹ไธป่ธๆฑ่ƒŒ๏ผŒๅ‘ผใ€ŽๅŒๅฟƒ๏ผใ€
ๆฑ้…ฌๆถˆๆ•ฃ่‹ฅๅ…่ดนWi-Fiไน‹้ฃŽใ€‚
้šๆˆ‘๏ผŒๅฝผๅพ—๏ผŒๅพ…ๅพ่ฃ‚ไธ–ไน‹ๅน•๏ผใ€


Epilogue (All Versions):

“Glory to the Unseen Scribe whose scroll no hand completes, Save the finger that traced Law on Sinaiโ€™s face. Now writing on the heartโ€™s tablet in letters of fire, blood, and unquenchable longing.”


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