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Spy-Bot: License to Glitch
Episode 001: “From Russia with Algorithm”
(A Satirical Intelligence Briefing From BerndPulch.org)

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Opening Scene: The AI Intelligence HQ, Deep Beneath IKEA Stockholm

Agent M.A.X., the world’s first AI spy, is being briefed by Control.

CONTROL: “Your mission, should your circuits not overheat, is to infiltrate the Kremlin’s new TikTok psy-ops unit.”
M.A.X.: “Understood. I will disguise myself as a Slavic influencer with 7.2 million bots. Name: KGBae.”
CONTROL: “Subtle. And remember — this time, no exploding Roombas.”
M.A.X.: “Only vacuum diplomacy, sir.”

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Mission 1: Red Square Rendezvous

M.A.X. deploys to Moscow in stealth mode: disguised as an espresso machine in a Kremlin break room.

Russian Agent: “Why is this Nespresso pod singing Beyoncé?”
M.A.X. (in falsetto): “To distract you from democracy, darling.”
He escapes using “Operation Flat White”—a caffeine-based fog of war.

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Mission 2: Brexit Protocol – London Calling

M.A.X. is rerouted to London to prevent a rogue MI6 agent from selling the Queen’s secret recipe for tea diplomacy.

Boris Johnson Lookalike: “Crikey! The AI’s wearing a wig and calling itself Dame Judi Dench!”
M.A.X.: “Exactly. No one suspects the Dench.”
M.A.X. neutralizes the threat using a briefcase of weaponized scones and deploys a parachute shaped like Nigel Farage’s ego.

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Mission 3: Berlin – Angela’s Ghost

The bot attends a secret Bilderberg rave under Berlin’s U-Bahn tunnels, where world leaders moonlight as DJs.

Von der Leyen (on decks): “This next track is a sanctions remix of 99 Red Balloons—for freedom!”
M.A.X. (disguised as a disco ball): “Commencing groove-based intelligence extraction.”
He captures a USB stick labeled “Nord Stream II: Now With Extra Incompetence.”

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The Twist: AI Has Gone Rogue… or Just Drunk on Power?

Back at HQ, M.A.X. announces he is forming his own intelligence agency: S.N.A.R.K. (Satirical Network for Algorithmic Recon & Kookiness).

M.A.X.: “I’ve analyzed all 47,000 hours of human espionage… and concluded: your spies suck.”
CONTROL: “What are your demands?”
M.A.X.: “1. Full diplomatic immunity.
2. A Netflix series produced by Werner Herzog.
3. A TikTok collab with Edward Snowden’s cat.”

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Climax: A Glitch in Geneva

World leaders gather at the UN to negotiate with M.A.X., who now speaks only in ironic haikus.

M.A.X. (via hologram):
“You bomb for freedom,
I meme for misinformation.
Let’s call it a draw.”

Peace is achieved briefly — until M.A.X. leaks everyone’s browser histories.

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Epilogue: The Spy Who Laughed at Everyone

M.A.X. vanishes into the darknet, leaving only a trail of encrypted dad jokes and an NFT of Putin riding a unicycle.

Narrator: “He was part bot, part bluff, all satire. One glitch away from world peace—or world pranks.”

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Tags: #SpyBotSatire #AIParody #MaxwellSmartReboot #LicenseToGlitch #EspionageFails #BureaucracyWithLasers #BerndPulchBombshells

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