
ReichCoinโs Vegas Vortex: Dr. Zโs Elvis Impersonator Scam with the Cyber-Czar of Crypto
A Sam Bronkowitz Production written by Theodore Tiger
(Dr. Satire Episode โ “The One Where Dr. Z Becomes an Elvis Crypto King”)

Synopsis
Fresh off his Hollywood humiliation, Dr. Rainer-Adolf Zโnow Elvis Zโis roped into a new ReichCoin scam by the Cyber-Czar of Crypto, a shadowy Vegas mogul named Ivan Blockchainov. In a glittering cyberpunk Las Vegas, Ivan forces Z to impersonate Elvis Presley to peddle ReichCoin Elvis Tokens at the Neon Oasis Casino, a floating mega-casino in the sky. The tokens hypnotize gamblers into funding a crypto-fueled “Vegas Reich,” complete with holographic Elvis concerts and slot machines that spit out ReichCoin propaganda. The Rainbow Resistanceโled by Hinterfozzige Janelle, AI Donna Summer, and the Marx Cousinsโdescends on Vegas to disrupt the scheme with disco drones, glitter slot machines, and samba sabotage. Will they stop Ivanโs Vegas Vortex and free Z from his rhinestone shackles?
Cast of Characters
Antagonists
- Dr. Rainer-Adolf Z (Elvis Z): Forced into an Elvis jumpsuit, bedazzled with ReichCoin logos, crooning crypto propaganda.
- Ivan Blockchainov (Cyber-Czar of Crypto): A Russian Vegas mogul with a holographic eyepatch, running the Neon Oasis Casino.
- Heinrich Himmler (Slot Machine Warden): Overseeing hypnotic slot machines, now dressed as a blackjack dealer with a ReichCoin deck.
- Baroness Glittercrash: Back with her gold-plated routers, streaming Zโs Elvis act to brainwash global audiences.
- The Algorithm 2.0: Upgraded AI projecting Elvis holograms, accidentally mixing in disco ball emojis.
Protagonists
- Hinterfozzige Janelle (Neon Liberator): Rollerblading through Vegas skies, armed with disco drones and a keytar blaster.
- AI Donna Summer (DiscoBot-3000): Holographic diva hacking Ivanโs tech with โBad Girlsโ remixes.
- Mother Iokaste-Monica: Brewing โRhinestone Remedyโ to break hypnotic spells, served in glowstick cocktails.
- The Marx Cousins:
- Groucho Marx II: Posing as a casino high-roller, slipping banana peels into slot machines.
- Harpo Marx II: Muting Ivanโs goons with neon harp glitter pies.
- Chico Marx II: Rewiring slot machines to play disco beats with his keytar.
Wildcards
- Crazy Pete the Fish: Selling malfunctioning Elvis wigs that spark and play ReichCoin jingles.
- Lucifer von Brimstone: Hosting a โVegas Vortex Showdownโ in Hell, betting on Ivanโs downfall.
- Broadway Diva Bianca: Singing โViva Las Vegasโ to distract Ivanโs goons.
- Ibiza Granny: Crashing the casino with trance beats from her keytar.
- Berlin Poet Karl: Reciting cyber-disco poetry to inspire the crowd.
- Miami Vice Vinny: Blasting the Miami Vice theme to rally the Resistance.
- Parisian Mime Marcel: Trapping goons in invisible slot machine walls.
- Hollywood Starlet Lola: Charming gamblers to plant glitter bombs.
- Lady Lumen: Attacking with laser-pointer heels, shouting, โMy glowโs not for sale!โ
- The Phantom Investor: A goldfish unplugging Ivanโs hologram cables by splashing its tank.
- Brazilian Escorts (Samba Sirens: Sofia, Isabella, Camila): Distracting goons with samba moves and glitter bombs.
- Hitlerโs Clone (Adolf 2.0): A bumbling casino usher mixing up Elvis lyrics with ReichCoin slogans.
- Wastepaper Producers Edith and Andreas: Sabotaging tech with eco-friendly confetti props.
Plot: A Cyberpunk Vegas Showdown
Act 1: Neon Oasis Casino โ The Elvis Scam Begins
In a cyberpunk Las Vegas, the Neon Oasis Casino floats above the Strip, a glowing fortress of holographic billboards and sky gardens. Dr. Z, still reeling from Hollywood, is kidnapped by Ivan Blockchainov, the Cyber-Czar of Crypto. Ivan forces Z into a bedazzled Elvis jumpsuit with ReichCoin logos, dubbing him Elvis Z. On a neon stage, Z performs โHound Dogโ with lyrics rewritten to shill ReichCoin Elvis TokensโโYou ainโt nothing but a crypto coin, mining all the time!โ The tokens hypnotize gamblers, who pour their savings into Ivanโs โVegas Reich,โ a crypto-fueled empire. Himmler oversees the hypnotic slot machines, while Baroness Glittercrash streams Zโs act globally, her routers pulsing with pink neon. The Algorithm 2.0 projects Elvis holograms, but glitches with disco ball emojis.
Hinterfozzige Janelle, rollerblading through Vegas skies, spots the chaos from a sky garden. She rallies the Rainbow ResistanceโAI Donna Summer, Mother Iokaste-Monica, and the Marx Cousinsโto crash the Neon Oasis and stop Ivanโs scheme.
Act 2: Sky Garden Sabotage โ The Resistance Strikes
The Resistance infiltrates the floating casino via sky gardens, dodging Ivanโs drone security:
- Janelleโs disco drones project โSTOP THE SCAMโ in rainbow lights, buzzing around holographic billboards.
- AI Donna Summer hacks the casino speakers, blasting โBad Girlsโ to disrupt the hypnosis.
- Mother Iokaste-Monica distributes Rhinestone Remedy in glowstick cocktails, breaking gamblersโ trances.
- Groucho poses as a high-roller, slipping banana peels into slot machinesโโIโd bet on ReichCoin, but I slipped on my profits!โ
- Harpo pelts goons with glitter pies, and Chico rewires slots to play disco beats.
- Wildcards like Crazy Pete (with sparking Elvis wigs), the Samba Sirens (dancing with glitter bombs), and Adolf 2.0 (botching lines with โViva ReichCoin!โ) sow chaos.
- Edith and Andreas overload The Algorithm 2.0 with wastepaper confetti, crashing the Elvis holograms.
Ivanโs goons slip on peels, and the casino descends into a neon-drenched riot. But Ivan escalates, activating a โVegas Vortexโโa hypnotic light show to brainwash the entire Strip.
Act 3: The Strip Showdown โ Disco vs. Crypto
Ivanโs Vegas Vortex engulfs the Strip, projecting Zโs Elvis act on every billboard. Gamblers chant โReichCoin forever!โ as Ivan cackles from his skybox. The Resistance counters:
- Janelleโs drones spray Freedom Fog, a glittery mist breaking the Vortexโs spell.
- AI Donna Summer hijacks the billboards with โLast Dance,โ sparking a city-wide dance riot.
- Mother Iokaste-Monica slips Rhinestone Remedy into the casinoโs fountains, waking the crowd.
- Groucho trips Ivan with a fake poker chip, Harpo pies his goons, and Chico turns the Vortex into a disco strobe.
- Bianca sings โViva Las Vegas,โ Ibiza Granny drops trance beats, Karl recites poetry, Vinny blasts the Miami Vice theme, Marcel traps goons in mime walls, Lola plants glitter bombs, and Lady Lumen attacks with laser heels.
- The Phantom Investor unplugs cables, the Samba Sirens samba through with glitter bombs, and Adolf 2.0 salutes the crowd, triggering wastepaper confetti from Edith and Andreas.
Z snaps free, shedding his jumpsuit in a neon epiphany. Ivan slips on a pie, crashing into Himmler, his empire crumbling. The Resistance transforms the Strip into Rainbow Disco Vegas, a victory rave with Zโhumiliated but freeโdancing awkwardly in the spotlight.
Epilogue
Ivan flees in a stolen hovercar, vowing revenge, while Z swears off Elvis impersonations. The Resistance rolls off to their next adventure, neon conga line in tow, as Vegas recovers from the slapstick storm.
Support the Satire Rebellion!
Join the fight against crypto scams and Elvis impersonators! Back this wild satire at Patreon.com/BerndPulch or donate at BerndPulch.org/Donation. Fuel the neon conga lines and keep the dancefloor free!
Tags: #ReichCoinElvisTokens #ElvisZ #IvanBlockchainov #HinterfozzigeJanelle #MarxCousins #NeonOasisCasino #VegasVortex #DiscoRebellion #RhinestoneRemedy #GlitterPies #SambaSirens #HitlersClone #WastepaperProps #RainbowDiscoVegas #SlapstickChaos
Disclaimer: No actual Elvises were harmedโjust Zโs rhinestone dignity.
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