
NaziGhosts #SurfNazis #GhostCoup #AltHistory #IdiotenZeitung
BY ERNST NEGER 6, MORTEN MOHR & DIANA NEGERKUSS – A SAMUEL BRONKOWIZ PRODUCTION FOR MADWOOD STUDIOS
๐ฑ๐ป๐โโ๏ธ THE GHOST COUP: Pussy Roemer’s Return & The Surf Nazi Invasion! ๐โโ๏ธ๐ป๐ฑ
THE CAST OF THE SUPERNATURAL TAKEOVER ATTEMPT: ๐ญ
๐ฌ STARRING:
THE GHOST COMMAND:
โขERNST “PUSSY” ROEMER (played by Mads Mikkelsen) ๐ป – Resurrected Nazi ghost confused by modernity
โขTHE 999 SCHICKSE CLONES (all played by Eva Green) ๐ฏโโ๏ธ – Corporate clones attempting ghost management
โขDR. Z (Christoph Waltz) ๐ฎ – Minister of Supernatural Resources
THE SURF NAZI TROOP:
โขSURF NAZI LEADER (Alexander Skarsgรฅrd) ๐โโ๏ธ – Sunburned wave-riding thug
โขLENI RIEFENSTAHL (Cate Blanchett) ๐ฅ – Filming “Triumph of the Wave”
โขBAUFRAU-LURCH (Johann Hill) ๐ธ – Building Nazi surf beaches
THE CONFUSED ROMANCE DEPARTMENT:
โขEHLERS (Ralph Fiennes) ๐ตโ๐ซ – Haunted by surfing ghosts
โขJANELLE (Gal Gadot) ๐ฆธโโ๏ธ – Ghost-evading resistance leader
โขSALOME (Ana de Armas) ๐ป – Afterlife network hacker
โขSEPP HELDENSCHWANZ (Donald Glover) ๐ต – Ghost-summoning baritone
SPECIAL GUEST STARS:
โขMUSCHI USCHI (Marion Cotillard) ๐ง – Liquid agony ghost-repeller
โขBRAZILIAN ESCORTS (Morena Baccarin & Alice Braga) ๐ – Supernatural mediators
๐ป The Ghost Command:
โขErnst “Pussy” Roemer: Resurrected Nazi ghost ๐ป, confused by the modern world ๐บ
โขThe 999 Schickse Clones: Attempting to manage ghosts ๐ฏโโ๏ธ๐
โขDr. Z: Appointed “Minister of Supernatural Resources” ๐ฎ๐ซ
๐โโ๏ธ The Surf Nazi Troop:
โขTroma Surf Nazis: Wave-riding thugs with sunburn ๐โโ๏ธ๐
โขLeni Riefenstahl: Filmed “Triumph of the Wave” ๐ฅ๐โโ๏ธ
โขBaufrau-Lurch: Building Nazi surf beaches ๐ธ๐๏ธ
๐ The Confused Romance Department:
โขEhlers & Janelle: Pursued by surfing ghosts ๐ป๐โโ๏ธ
โขSalome: Hacking the “afterlife network” ๐ป๐
โขSepp Heldenschwanz: Singing ghost-summoning arias ๐ต๐ป
SCENE 1: THE GHOST SUMMONING IN THE BOARDROOM ๐ป๐ผ
In a dark conference room full of candles ๐ฏ๏ธ, the 999 Schickses stand in a circle around a Ouija board.
“WE NEED ORIGINAL NAZI ENERGY!” โก screams Schickse #001.
Suddenly Ernst “Pussy” Roemer appears – confused and in faded uniform. ๐ป
“WHAT IS A ‘SMARTPHONE’?” ๐ฑ asks the ghost. “AND WHY ARE YOU ALL WEARING THE SAME SUIT?” ๐
Dr. Z waves an EMF meter: “His aura is 87% annoyed with modern technology!” ๐ก๐ค
SCENE 2: THE SURF NAZI LANDING ๐โโ๏ธ๐
On every beach in the world, surfing Nazis appear. ๐
“THE FรHRER ALWAYS WANTED THE BEST WAVES!” ๐ shouts their leader while treating a sunburn. ๐
Baufrau-Lurch tries to build concrete waves: “THEY’RE MORE EFFICIENT!” ๐ธ๐๏ธ
Leni films everything with a waterproof camera: “Finally – Nazis with good tans!” ๐ฅ๐
SCENE 3: THE GREAT SUPERNATURAL CONFUSION ๐๐ต
Pussy Roemer is overwhelmed by the modern world. ๐
“WHY ARE YOU ALL TALKING ABOUT ‘CLOUD COMPUTING’? โ๏ธ WE DON’T HAVE CLOUD TECHNOLOGY!”
The Surf Nazis try to teach ghosts to surf – with catastrophic results. ๐โโ๏ธ๐ป๐ฅ
Ehlers and Janelle are pursued by a surfing Roemer ghost: “I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT ‘TINDER’ IS!” ๐ป๐
Salome hacks the afterlife: “HIS SOUL HAS NO FIREWALL!” ๐ป๐
FINALE: THE GHOST CRASH ๐ฅ๐ป
Pussy Roemer discovers the internet – and has a ghost breakdown. ๐
“TOO MANY CAT PICTURES! ๐ฑ TOO MANY EMAILS!” ๐ง๐ซ
The 999 Schickses argue about which clone is responsible for the ghost PR fiasco. ๐ฏโโ๏ธ๐ฌ
The Surf Nazis give up and open a surf school in California. ๐โโ๏ธ๐
Suddenly Muschi Uschi appears – her liquid agony immediately repels ghosts. ๐ง๐ป
“FINALLY AN APPLICATION THAT WORKS!” ๐งโจ
[End of this supernaturally disillusioned episode] ๐ป๐
NEXT EPISODE: ๐ฎ
โขWill Pussy Roemer become a tech influencer? ๐ป๐ฑ
โขAre the Surf Nazis doing yoga now? ๐โโ๏ธ๐งโโ๏ธ
โขWill Dr. Z fall in love with a ghost? ๐๐ป
โขAnd why are the Schickses selling ghost-repellant spray? ๐ฏโโ๏ธ๐ซ
THE GHOSTS FAIL – THE WAVES REMAIN! ๐๐
๐ฑ๐ป๐โโ๏ธ DER GEISTER-PUTSCH: Pussy Roemers Wiederkehr & Die Surf-Nazi-Invasion! ๐โโ๏ธ๐ป๐ฑ
DIE BESETZUNG DES รBERNATรRLICHEN รBERNAHMEVERSUCHS:
๐ป Das Geister-Kommando:
โขErnst “Pussy” Roemer: Wiederbelebter Nazi-Geist ๐ป, verwirrt von der modernen Welt ๐บ
โขDie 999 Schickse-Klone: Versuchen, Geister zu managen ๐ฏโโ๏ธ๐
โขDr. Z: Ernannt zum “Minister fรผr รbernatรผrliche Ressourcen” ๐ฎ๐ซ
๐โโ๏ธ Die Surf-Nazi-Truppe:
โขTroma-Surf-Nazis: Wellenreitende Schlรคger mit Sonnenbrand ๐โโ๏ธ๐
โขLeni Riefenstahl: Filmte “Triumph der Welle” ๐ฅ๐โโ๏ธ
โขBaufrau-Lurch: Baut Nazi-Surf-Strรคnde ๐ธ๐๏ธ
๐ Die Verwirrte Romantik-Abteilung:
โขEhlers & Janelle: Verfolgt von surfenden Geistern ๐ป๐โโ๏ธ
โขSalome: Hackt das “Jenseits-Netzwerk” ๐ป๐
โขSepp Heldenschwanz: Singt Geister-Beschwรถrungs-Arien ๐ต๐ป
SZENE 1: DIE GEISTER-BESCHWรRUNG IM BOARDROOM ๐ป๐ผ
In einem dunklen Konferenzraum voller Kerzen ๐ฏ๏ธ, stehen die 999 Schickses im Kreis um ein Ouija-Brett.
“WIR BRAUCHEN URSPRรNGLICHE NAZI-ENERGIE!” schreit Schickse #001.
Plรถtzlich erscheint Ernst “Pussy” Roemer – verwirrt und in verblasster Uniform.
“WAS IST EIN ‘SMARTPHONE’?” fragt der Geist. “UND WARUM TRAGT IHR ALLE DENSELBEN ANZUG?” ๐ป๐ฑ
Dr. Z wedelt mit einem EMF-Meter: “Seine Aura ist zu 87% verรคrgert รผber moderne Technologie!” ๐ก๐ค
SZENE 2: DIE SURF-NAZI-LANDUNG ๐โโ๏ธ๐
An jedem Strand der Welt tauchen surfende Nazis auf.
“DER FรHRER WOLLTE IMMER DIE BESTEN WELLEN!” brรผllt ihr Anfรผhrer, wรคhrend er einen Sonnenbrand behandelt. ๐๐
Baufrau-Lurch versucht, Betonwellen zu bauen: “DIE SIND EFFIZIENTER!” ๐ธ๐๏ธ
Leni filmte alles mit einer wasserdichten Kamera: “Endlich – Nazis mit guter Brรคune!” ๐ฅ๐
SZENE 3: DIE GROSSE รBERNATรRLICHE VERWIRRUNG ๐๐ต
Pussy Roemer ist von der modernen Welt รผberfordert.
“WARUM REDET IHR ALLE VON ‘CLOUD COMPUTING’? WIR HABEN DOCH KEINE WOLKEN-TECHNOLOGIE!” ๐ปโ๏ธ
Die Surf-Nazis versuchen, Geister surfen zu lehren – mit katastrophalen Ergebnissen. ๐โโ๏ธ๐ป
Ehlers und Janelle werden von einem surfenden Roemer-Geist verfolgt: “ICH WILL NUR WISSEN, WAS ‘TINDER’ IST!” ๐ป๐
Salome hackt das Jenseits: “SEINE SEELE HAT KEINE FIREWALL!” ๐ป๐
FINALE: DER GEISTER-CRASH ๐ฅ๐ป
Pussy Roemer entdeckt das Internet – und hat einen Geister-Zusammenbruch.
“ZU VIELE KATZENBILDER! ZU VIELE E-MAILS!” ๐ป๐ง๐ซ
Die 999 Schickses streiten sich darรผber, welcher Clone fรผr den Geister-PR-Fiasko verantwortlich ist.
Die Surf-Nazis geben auf und erรถffnen eine Surfschule in Kalifornien. ๐โโ๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ
Plรถtzlich erscheint Muschi Uschi – ihre flรผssige Qual vertreibt Geister sofort. ๐ง๐ป
“ENDLICH EINE ANWENDUNG, DIE FUNKTIONIERT!” ๐งโจ
[Ende dieser รผbernatรผrlich desillusionierten Folge]
NรCHSTE FOLGE:
โขWird Pussy Roemer ein Tech-Influencer? ๐ป๐ฑ
โขMachen die Surf-Nazis jetzt Yoga? ๐โโ๏ธ๐งโโ๏ธ
โขVerliebt sich Dr. Z in einen Geist? ๐๐ป
โขUnd warum verkaufen die Schickses jetzt Geister-Abwehr-Sprays? ๐ฏโโ๏ธ๐ฎ
DIE GEISTER SCHEITERN – DIE WELLEN BLEIBEN! ๐๐
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