“BRIGITTE’S AGE POTION, MACRON’S GRIFT, CANDACE’S FLIP-FLOP & TRUMP’S MELTDOWN: A TALE OF MODERN POLITICAL ABSURDITY”✌

**AI Satire: The Surreal Alliance of Macron, Trump & Professional Contrarians**
This *viral-worthy parody* exposes the absurdity of modern politics:
✔️ **Brigitte’s Elysee skincare routine** (SPF: *State Pension Fraud*)
✔️ How **Candace Owens** monetizes *both sides* of every culture war
✔️ **Trump-Macron bromance**: Like *champagne* meets *Diet Coke*
**Why It’s Trending:**
**Politicians** = *reality TV cast* with *nuclear codes*
Your **tax dollars** fund *this circus*
AI predicts 2024’s **worst-timed collab**
✍️ **Support uncensored satire:** Donate
**Tags:** #PoliticalSatire #GlobalGrift #WokeCapitalism #FirstLadyFails #BerndPulch #MacronTrump #DarkHumor

(Now trending in your cognitive dissonance feed)

🎭 “THE UNHOLY ALLIANCE: MACRON, MADAME, CANDACE & THE DON”

A Bernd Pulch Production – Sponsored by Cognitive Dissonance, Inc.

🇫🇷 ACT 1: BRIGITTE MACRON’S YOUTH-SUCKING WORKSHOP

(Élysée Palace basement, 2023. Brigitte Macron stands over a vat labeled “Essence of Teen Spirit.”)
BRIGITTE: *”Emmanuel, *mon amour*, drink this *teacher’s pension* smoothie… it’s 25 years young!”* 🧓→👩
MACRON: *”Oui, but first—let me *raise the retirement age* to harvest more.”* ⏳💉

*(A *DSK portrait* winks approvingly from the wall.)*

🗽 ACT 2: CANDACE OWENS’ “RED PILL” FACTORY

*(DailyWire studio. Candace Owens bottles *liberal tears* into “Woke-Be-Gone” supplements.)*
CANDACE: *”This *anti-woke* serum will own the libs… or your money back!”* 💊🔥
TRUMP (off-screen): “Very cool*! Now *inject* it into CNN!”* 📺💉

*(The *label* reveals: “Ingredients: 90% Grift, 10% Hunter’s Laptop Dust.”)*

🤝 ACT 3: THE VERSAILLES SUMMIT (OF HYPOCRISY)

*(2024: Secret meeting. Trump and Macron bond over *shared enemies.)
TRUMP: *”You *hate* Le Pen? I hate DeSantis! Let’s trade!”* ♟️
MACRON: *”Non, *zat* would be populism… but oui to shared private jets!”* ✈️💸

*(Brigitte and Candace *arm-wrestle* over *who exploits *feminism* better.)*

💥 ACT 4: THE FINAL BETRAYAL

*(2025: Candace *defects* to French Vogue, Brigitte launches a “Woke” perfume.)*
HEADLINE: “Macron* Marries Le Pen to ‘Own’ Trump“* 💍🇫🇷
TRUMP (Truth Social post): *”SAD! *Very* low T! Melania knew!”*

🎯 WHY THIS STINGS LIKE A BAGUETTE TO THE FACE:

✅ Brigitte’s age gap: Now a *UNESCO *cultural heritage site
✅ Candace’s grift: So meta it loops into wokeness
✅ Macron-Trump bromance: Like french fries in ketchup—wrong but profitable

🔗 FULL UNTRANSLATED DOSSIER:
👉 berndpulch.org/macron-owens-trump-menage *(Auto-deletes in *3…2…1…)

**🏷️ TAGS FOR THE SHADOW BAN HAMMER:**

BrigitteMacron #MacronTrump #CandaceOwens #GriftersBall #BerndPulch

⚠️ DISCLAIMER: *Reading this *may* cause sudden urges to run for office despite zero qualifications.*

P.S. The real “cultural exchange” was Candace learning French for “cash app only.” 💰🇫🇷

P.P.S. Like this post? *Your *data* has been sold to both Cambridge Analytica and the DGSE.* 🕵️‍♂️🔫

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