
An Interdimensional Satire by @BerndPulch
๐ TIMELINE LEAKS
2019: Epstein’s corpse autographs flight logs
2025: Maxwell & Clinton trade prison recipes via neuralink
1987: Young Epstein files “Lolita.xls” on floppy
Yelp Review: 1/5 stars – “Drinks were spiked in all timelines”
โก WHY THIS BREAKS THE INTERNET
โ AI-Uncovered: 5D evidence of elite crimes
โ Time-Warp Tech: See cover-ups evolve in real-time
โ Your Tax Dollars: Funded every damn dimension
๐ DIVE DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE
1๏ธโฃ TAG someone stuck in the wrong timeline
2๏ธโฃ COMMENT which year’s cover-up was sloppiest
3๏ธโฃ SHARE before they patch reality
๐ FULL MULTIVERSE FOOTAGE (Tor + Quantum Mirror)
๐ธ PLATFORM-SPECIFIC VIRAL HACKS
Twitter: “BREAKING: Epstein spotted in 3 timelines at once” + glitch effect
Instagram: Swipeable 4D carousel (past/present/future)
Reddit: “Zoom to find the hidden 1987 CIA memo”
ALT-TEXT: “Flux AI art of Epstein’s cross-dimensional lounge – ghost host serves Clinton in 2025 while 1987 agents compile blackmail. Time fractures reveal endless cover-up versions.”
โ ๏ธ MULTIVERSE DISCLAIMER
“This satire exists in all timelines simultaneously. Any resemblance to actual crimes isโฆ well, you know.” #NotLegalInAnyReality
TOP TAGS:
EpsteinMultiverse #QuantumLeaks #TemporalCorruption #GlitchTheSystem #BerndPulch
๐ฅ FINAL TRANSMISSION:
*”They thought killing him ended the storyโฆ but the files are *quantum entangled.”
FUND THE TIMELINE WAR
“Every XMR corrupts their past.” โณ๐ฃ
๐ EXCLUSIVE FINDINGS
โ๏ธ Black Book Update: Now with 50% more intelligence agency contacts
โ๏ธ Flight Logs: “Lolita Air” now accepting MileagePlus points
โ๏ธ Prison CCTV: Shows Epstein practicing “advanced breathing exercises” (no pulse required)
Yelp Review: 1/5 stars โ “Convenient location, terrible security”
๐ต๏ธโ๏ธ MEET THE NEW CAST
- Ghislaine Maxwell: Now running a “Princess to Prison” influencer series
- Bill Clinton: Claims he “only visited for the smoothies”
- Prince Andrew: Launches “Sweat-Free Public Appearances” masterclass
- CIA “E-Prime” Program: “Human trafficking? No, justโฆ uhโฆ asset extraction.”
๐ WHY THIS STILL TRENDS
1๏ธโฃ Elites Love a Sequel โ More names, same cover-up
2๏ธโฃ AI-Powered Leaks โ Decrypting what “suicided” really means
3๏ธโฃ Your Tax Dollars โ Funded the blackmail, now funds the silence
๐ DOWNLOAD BEFORE DELETION
1๏ธโฃ TAG a CEO whoโs weirdly sweating
2๏ธโฃ COMMENT “But her emails!” for irony points
3๏ธโฃ SHARE before this gets “fact-checked”
๐ FULL ARCHIVE (Tor mirror available)
โก PLATFORM HACKS
Twitter: “BREAKING: Epsteinโs ghost just liked 17 politician profiles”
Instagram: Carousel of “Then vs. Now” mugshots
Reddit: “The math ainโt mathing” (flight log analysis)
ALT-TEXT: “AI-generated โEpstein VIP LoungeโโClinton mixing drinks, Prince Andrew avoiding cameras, and a CCTV feed of โsuicideโ yoga poses. Dark satire.”
๐ PINNED DISCLAIMER
“This is speculative satire. Any resemblance to actual blackmail ops is purely hilarious. #NotLegalAdvice”
TOP TAGS:
EpsteinFiles #BlackBook2 #LolitaLeaks #SuicidedSquad #BerndPulch
๐ฅ FINAL TRANSMISSION:
*”They killed the manโฆ but the files? The files are *immortal.”
FUND THE LEAKS
“Every Monero buys a shredder-proof backup.” ๐๐ป
Hereโs a detailed, step-by-step guide for donating Monero (XMR) to BerndPulch.org, optimized for both crypto-newbies and privacy advocates:
๐ How to Donate Monero (XMR) to BerndPulch.org
Support independent journalism with 100% anonymous cryptocurrency
๐ Official Donation Address
41yKiG6aQSHiWFLv47QK3W35TLnZ3QSHZbCohY7f7t1X1T2qk1V7b5QYV2JaL4bR3YkP5tJ7vUq4e
(Always verify this address at berndpulch.org/donations)
๐ฑ Step-by-Step Donation Guide
1. Acquire Monero (XMR)
- Exchanges: Buy XMR from:
- Kraken (KYC required)
- LocalMonero (P2P, non-KYC)
- SwapSpace (Instant swaps)
- Mining: Use MoneroOcean pool
2. Set Up a Wallet (Choose One)
- Desktop: Official GUI Wallet (Most secure)
- Mobile: Cake Wallet (iOS/Android)
- Hardware: Ledger + Monero GUI
3. Send XMR to BerndPulch.org
- Open your Monero wallet
- Click “Send”
- Paste Berndโs address:
41yKiG6aQSHiWFLv47QK3W35TLnZ3QSHZbCohY7f7t1X1T2qk1V7b5QYV2JaL4bR3YkP5tJ7vUq4e
- Enter amount (minimum 0.1 XMR)
- Set priority: Normal (cheaper) or High (faster)
- Confirm transaction
4. Verify Payment (Optional)
- Check TX status on XMRchain.net
- Email
donations@berndpulch.orgwith: - Transaction hash
- Donor message (encrypted via ProtonMail)
๐ก๏ธ Privacy Enhancements
- Use Tor: Access BerndPulch.org mirror via Tor browser
- Decoy Addresses: Generate one-time subaddresses via Moneroโs CLI
- Network Obfuscation: Route traffic through i2p or VPN
๐ Why Monero?
Feature Benefit Ring Signatures Mixes your TX with 10+ others Stealth Addresses Generates unique 1-time addresses Kovri Hides IP metadata Bulletproofs Lowers fees by ~80%
โ ๏ธ Critical Reminders
- No refunds โ Verify address before sending
- No KYC needed โ Unlike Bitcoin/ETH
- Minimum 0.1 XMR โ Smaller amounts may get lost
- Beware scams โ Only use official site addresses
๐ Advanced Options
- Recurring Donations: Set up automated payments via Cake Wallet
- Multisig: Contact for corporate/group donations
- Physical XMR: Mail cash via Moneroj.com (Swiss-based)
๐ Blockchain Transparency
BerndPulch.org publishes quarterly donation reports with:
- Total XMR received
- Funds allocation (servers/leaks/research)
- Without individual donor details
Support Truth. Donate Anonymously.
“May privacy prevail” โ
Full Donation FAQ | XMR Troubleshooting
๐จ QR Code (For Mobile Wallets)

(Right-click to save image)
This guide balances technical precision with newbie accessibility, reinforcing BerndPulch.orgโs ethos of financial anonymity. For maximal OPSEC, pair with a Tails OS session.
๐ OFFICIAL INTELLIGENCE SOURCES
๐ข Primary Domain: BerndPulch.org – Licensed Intelligence Media
๐ Mirror Site: GoogleFirst.org – Document Archive
๐ Archives: Rumble Videos โข WordPress Briefings
๐ CLASSIFIED ACCESS
๐ Patrons receive:
- ๐ Classified document briefings
- โ ๏ธ Uncensored geopolitical reports
- ๐จ Early leak notifications
๐ Unlock Full Access Now
๐ VERIFIED CREDENTIALS
๐ฐ ANONYMOUS SUPPORT
๐ช Cryptocurrency Donations:
“`bash
BTC/ETH/BNB: 0xdaa3b8โฆd616bb
Multi-Chain: 0x271588โฆ7AC7f
XMR: 41yKiG6โฆCoh
