— A MODERN PARABLE OF BAD PEOPLE & WORSE LAWYERS —

📜 THE CONTRACT (FINE PRINT IN BLOOD)

Lucifer: *”Look, Jeff, I handle *souls*—you handle the *logistics*. We’ll call it a *joint venture.”
Epstein: “What’s the split?”
Lucifer: *”70/30. You keep the *blackmail*, I take the *eternal torment.”
Epstein: *”Deal. But can we expense the *island* as a ‘corporate retreat’?”*

👹 MEET THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS

• CEO: Lucifer Morningstar (Former Angel, Current “Private Equity Enjoyer”)
• Head of HR: Ghislaine Maxwell (Titles: “Bestie,” “Fixer,” “Not a Snitch”)
• Legal: Alan Dershowitz (*”Objection! Hell is technically a *sovereign state!”)
• PR: Bill Clinton (*”I didn’t *see* any souls getting trafficked!”*)

💼 SERVICES OFFERED

✔ “Networking” Mixers (Where elites & imps mingle!)
✔ “Confidential” Client List *(Stored in a *burner hell-dimension!)
✔ “Accident” Insurance *(For when wings *mysteriously* fail mid-flight!)*

📈 BUSINESS IS BOOMING (LITERALLY)

• 2023 Revenue: ∞ souls + 1 PLEA DEAL
• Yelp Reviews: “5/5 Stars—Would Sell Soul Again!” – Prince Andrew
• Biggest Client: “The Vatican Pension Fund”

⚖️ CURRENT LEGAL TROUBLES

• DOJ Investigation: *”Can you *technically* indict a fallen angel?”*
• Whistleblower: A demon named “Steve” who just wanted health insurance
• Discovery Phase: *”Oh, you wanted *actual* evidence? It’s in the void.”*

🎤 TESTIMONIALS

*”I thought *hell* was bad—then I met their NDAs.”* – Anonymous (Deceased)
*”Great workplace culture! *No* morals, all perks!”* – A Literal Ghoul

📢 CALL TO ACTION

WANTED: More “high-value” clients!
👉 Apply now at HELLISFULL.LOL
💀 Use promo code SUICIDEPACT for 10% off damnation!

DISCLAIMER: This is a parody. (But the lawyers are real. And they’re coming.)

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🔥 TOO FAR? OR NOT FAR ENOUGH? LET ME DEEPEN THE HERESY. 🔥

🔥 JOIN THE DARK SIDE (THEY HAVE BETTER LAWYERS) 🔥

🚨 LIMITED-TIME OFFER:
👉 SIGN YOUR SOUL TODAY & GET:
✅ FREE “I ❤️ BLACKMAIL” TOTE BAG
✅ VIP ACCESS TO HELL’S NEXT “ISLAND RETREAT”
✅ PRIORITY STATUS WHEN JUDGMENT DAY HITS

💀 DON’T WAIT – DAMNATION WAITS FOR NO ONE!
📲 DM “LOLITAEXPRESS” TO OUR SECURE BURNER LINE
🌐 VISIT: HELLFRONTGROUP.COM (TOR LINK AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST)

💸 MONERO PAYMENTS PREFERRED (PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY INCLUDED)
🤑 XMR WALLET: [YOUR_DARKNET_ADDRESS_HERE]

⚠️ WARNING: By reading this, you hereby consent to eternal servitude. Void where prohibited by divine intervention.

🔥 CLICK, SIGN, SELL OUT – THE DEVIL’S IN THE DETAILS! 🔥

(P.S. Ghislaine handles onboarding. Don’t ask about dental.)

Here’s the Monero (XMR) donation guide with your updated wallet address, formatted for maximum clarity and security:

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🔐 Official Monero (XMR) Donation Address for BerndPulch.org

41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh

Always verify this address at:
https://berndpulch.org/donations

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📱 How to Donate in 4 Steps

1️⃣ Get Monero

• Non-KYC Purchase:
• LocalMonero (P2P, cash options)
• MajesticBank (XMR
• KYC Exchanges:
• Kraken (Fastest fiat onramp)

2️⃣ Choose a Wallet

Wallet Type Recommendation Privacy Level MobileCake Wallet ✅ Medium DesktopMonero GUI + Tails OS 🔒 Maximum Hardware Ledger + Monero GUI 🔐 High

3️⃣ Send XMR

1. Open wallet → Click “Send”
2. Paste Bernd’s address:

41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh

3. Enter amount (Minimum 0.01 XMR)
4. Set transaction priority:

• 🐢 Slow (~0.0004 XMR fee)
• 🚀 Fast (~0.02 XMR fee)

4️⃣ Verify (Optional)

• Check TX on block explorer: XMRchain.net
• For receipts: Email xmr@berndpulch.org with:
• Transaction hash
• Encrypted message (PGP preferred)

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🛡️ Pro Privacy Tips

• Subaddresses: Generate unique one-time addresses in Cake Wallet
• Tor Routing: Access BerndPulch.org mirror
• Network Obfuscation: Use i2p + VPN chaining

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💎 Why Monero for Donations?

Feature Advantage RingCT Amounts hidden Stealth Addresses No reuse tracking IP Obfuscation Kovri/I2P compatible Dynamic Blocksize Low/stable fees

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⚠️ Critical Security Notes

1. No refunds – Triple-check address before sending
2. Minimum 0.01 XMR – Smaller amounts may be lost
3. Scam Warning: Only use addresses from:

• Official site (HTTPS)
• Verified mirrors (GoogleFirst.org)

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🎨 QR Code for Mobile Wallets

(Right-click to save image)

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📜 Transparency Policy

BerndPulch.org publishes quarterly XMR donation reports showing:

• Total XMR received
• Fund allocation (servers/research/leaks)
• Zero individual donor data

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“Privacy is Power. Support Truth Anonymously.”
✊ Full Donation FAQ | Monero Troubleshooting

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This version:
✅ Uses your corrected XMR address
✅ Adds QR code generator link
✅ Clarifies minimum donation amount
✅ Strengthens anti-scam warnings
✅ Improves mobile readability

For maximal anonymity, recommend donors use: Tails OS + Monero CLI + Tor

🔍 OFFICIAL INTELLIGENCE SOURCES
🟢 Primary Domain: BerndPulch.org – Licensed Intelligence Media
🔄 Mirror Site: GoogleFirst.org – Document Archive
📁 Archives: Rumble Videos • WordPress Briefings

💎 CLASSIFIED ACCESS
🔓 Patrons receive:

• 🔐 Classified document briefings
• ⚠️ Uncensored geopolitical reports
• 🚨 Early leak notifications
  👉 Unlock Full Access Now

📜 VERIFIED CREDENTIALS

• 🎓 Academic Title Verification
• 📝 Official Bio & Career History
• ❓ Confidential Q&A (FAQ)

💰 ANONYMOUS SUPPORT
🪙 Cryptocurrency Donations:
“`bash
BTC/ETH/BNB: 0xdaa3b8…d616bb
Multi-Chain: 0x271588…7AC7f
XMR: 41yKiG6…Coh