
Methodology for the โTop 100 Most Absurd Green Bonds & ESG Debt Instrumentsโ Ranking
This satirical yet data-informed ranking was compiled using the following criteria:
- Contradictory Use of Funds: Projects labeled “green” or “sustainable” that finance clearly environmentally destructive, socially harmful, or ethically dubious activities โ e.g., oil pipelines, deforestation-linked agriculture, or weapons manufacturers.
- Greenwashing Language: Bonds marketed with excessive ESG jargon, where the fine print reveals little to no actual sustainability impact, or where environmental terms are used purely as branding tools.
- Corporate Reputation Mismatch: Issuers with a track record of human rights violations, environmental pollution, or fraud issuing “green” debt instruments with minimal accountability or transparency.
- Rating & Certification Farces: Deals that obtained ESG certifications (e.g., from second-party opinion providers or rating agencies) despite obviously violating the spirit of sustainability.
- Lack of Measurable Impact: Instruments with no clear metrics, benchmarks, or oversight mechanisms to track the promised positive outcomes.
- Public Scandal or Backlash: Bonds or funds that sparked protests, legal challenges, or media exposure for ESG-related hypocrisy.
Sources include: international financial news reports, NGO audits, ESG watchdog databases, investment prospectuses, and expert analyses from the sustainability finance space.
Here are entries 1 to 20 of the Top 100 Most Absurd Green Bonds & ESG Debt Instruments Ever Issued:
1. PetroAmazonas โSustainable Extractionโ Bond (Ecuador)
Marketed as โeco-friendly oil drilling,โ this bond funded operations in the Amazon rainforestโliterally destroying biodiversity while using ESG buzzwords.
2. Gazprom โClean Energy Transitionโ Bond (Russia)
A green bond for expanding natural gas pipelines through fragile ecosystems. Emissions? Nyet, just ignore them.
3. Saudi Aramco โGreen Growthโ Sukuk (Saudi Arabia)
Labeled sustainable for efficiency upgradesโon oil rigs. Yes, the worldโs top oil exporter went green… on paper.
4. Adani Group โGreen Infrastructure Bondโ (India)
Backed by a conglomerate expanding coal mining. It claimed ESG alignment by promising to plant trees somewhere, someday.
5. ExxonMobil โLow Carbon Energyโ Note (USA)
A โgreenโ issuance tied to a refinery upgrade project โ which increased capacity and emissions.
6. China Three Gorges Corporation โSustainable Hydropowerโ Bond
Funded dam construction that displaced entire villages and destroyed river ecosystems.
7. TotalEnergies โBiodiversity Protection Bondโ (France)
Issued after oil spills, this bond claimed to offset destruction with vague conservation fundingโnever independently verified.
8. Chevron โCarbon Efficiencyโ Note (USA)
Promised โlower emissions per barrelโ as it opened a new offshore drilling site.
9. Lukoil โRenewable Transitionโ Bond (Russia)
Spent over 90% on fossil fuel infrastructure under the excuse of improving energy efficiency.
10. Shell โSustainable Development Goalsโ Linked Bond (Netherlands/UK)
Cynically tied to UN goals while continuing Arctic drilling.
11. CNPC โGreen Refineryโ Bond (China)
Backed a refinery modernization projectโincreasing output and COโ emissions.
12. Halliburton โESG Leadershipโ Bond (USA)
Issued after PR scandals, this bond funded pipeline services with vague ESG claims and no metrics.
13. Rio Tinto โSocial Sustainabilityโ Note (UK/Australia)
Issued just months after destroying an Aboriginal heritage site in Juukan Gorge.
14. Glencore โResponsible Miningโ Green Bond (Switzerland)
Labeled ESG-friendly while financing cobalt extraction linked to child labor in the DRC.
15. Enbridge โGreen Infrastructureโ Bond (Canada)
Financed a pipeline through Indigenous lands while promoting it as a low-emissions project.
16. BP โClean Futureโ Bond (UK)
Spent majority on PR campaigns and minimal amounts on solar R&D.
17. ENI โCarbon Mitigation Bondโ (Italy)
Issued while doubling down on new offshore drilling blocks.
18. Equinor โSustainable Transitionโ Note (Norway)
Used to fund controversial Arctic oil projects with โnet-zero ambitionโ marketing.
19. Coal India โGreen Transformationโ Bond
Yes, a coal giant issued a green bond. Claimed it was for dust control at coal mines.
20. Deutsche Bank โESG Pioneerโ Structured Note (Germany)
Backed an index full of fossil fuel and defense contractorsโbranded as โgreen tech.โ
Here are entries 21 to 40 of the Top 100 Most Absurd Green Bonds & ESG Debt Instruments Ever Issued:
21. Rosneft โEco-Energyโ Bond (Russia)
Labeled green for โreducing flaringโ while funding deep Arctic oil drilling. Carbon-neutral gaslighting at its finest.
22. Bayer โSustainable Agricultureโ Bond (Germany)
Issued post-Monsanto merger, it financed GMO promotion and glyphosate-heavy farming.
23. BHP โGreen Transitionโ Note (Australia/UK)
Claimed to fund renewable energy for mining operationsโstill led to massive deforestation and water use.
24. North Dakota โGreen Frackingโ Muni Bond (USA)
Local government-issued debt to support โefficientโ hydraulic fracturing. Frack responsibly?
25. Petrobras โEco-Resilienceโ Bond (Brazil)
Labeled as sustainable despite funding offshore rigs near marine biodiversity hotspots.
26. Coal Ministry of India โEnvironmental Modernization Bondโ
Used to buy newer coal trucks and sprinklers. Still coal. Still absurd.
27. Nestlรฉ โSustainable Water Useโ Bond (Switzerland)
After scandals over water privatization, this bond funded water extraction plants. โGreenโ for filtering before bottling.
28. Vietnam State Bank โEco-Industry Development Bondโ
Issued to boost manufacturing in โspecial economic zonesโโwith relaxed environmental oversight.
29. Palantir โEthical AIโ ESG Note (USA)
Claimed ESG compliance despite massive controversy over surveillance tools and military contracts.
30. Egypt โGreen Pyramidโ Infrastructure Bond
Included projects that involved desert road construction over protected habitats. Literal greenwashing in the sand.
31. JPMorgan Chase โESG Leadershipโ Note (USA)
Touted for impact investing. Top holdings? Oil, weapons, and private prisons.
32. Qatar Petroleum โGreen LNGโ Bond
Marketed liquefied natural gas as a bridge to renewables while expanding fossil infrastructure.
33. Uganda โSustainable Growthโ Bond
Used to back Chinese-built oil pipelines with no credible environmental oversight.
34. Malaysia โPalm Oil Sustainabilityโ Sukuk
Claimed to promote โsustainableโ palm oil. Backed companies fined for illegal deforestation.
35. Shell Nigeria โCommunity Engagementโ Bond
Used ESG language while linked to major oil spills and displacement lawsuits.
36. HSBC โLow Carbon Transitionโ Note (UK)
Portfolio included cement, airlines, and fossil fuels. Somehow still passed ESG screens.
37. TotalEnergies โGreen Africaโ Development Bond
Tied to pipeline development in Uganda and Tanzania. Community protests ensued.
38. Morocco โGreen Desertโ Solar Bond
Funded solar projects tied to water-intensive mega-farming operations.
39. Boeing โESG Aerospace Innovationโ Bond (USA)
Claimed to innovate for the planet… while investing in new fighter jets.
40. Tesla โCarbon-Neutral Innovationโ Bond (USA)
Backed gigafactory expansions with dubious lithium sourcing in Indigenous territories.
Here are entries 41 to 60 of the Top 100 Most Absurd Green Bonds & ESG Debt Instruments Ever Issued:
41. Abu Dhabi โNet Zeroโ Sovereign Green Bond
Marketed as climate-positive while backing oil infrastructure โefficiency upgrades.โ Desert mirage economics.
42. Indian Railways โSustainable Transportโ Bond
Heavily used to electrify lines serving coal transport corridors. Powered by coal, of course.
43. Amazon.com โClimate Pledgeโ Note (USA)
Used to fund electric delivery vansโwhile maintaining massive emissions through data centers and air freight.
44. Nigeria โGreen Growthโ Sovereign Bond
Tied to infrastructure that directly enabled oil and gas extraction expansion.
45. Barclays โResponsible Bankingโ ESG Note (UK)
Packed with fossil fuel and arms industry clients. Just… responsibly.
46. Fortescue Metals โGreen Miningโ Bond (Australia)
Supported expansion of iron ore mines under the guise of โclean steelโ pathways.
47. Ukrainian Government โWar Recovery Green Bondโ
Some proceeds funneled to rebuild gas and coal plantsโframed as eco-recovery.
48. Philippine โTyphoon Recoveryโ ESG Bond
Marketed as climate response. Spent on roads and infrastructure that worsened environmental degradation.
49. Bayer-Monsanto โClimate-Resilient Agricultureโ Bond
Funded seeds and pesticides accused of harming pollinators and soil integrity.
50. Russiaโs Ministry of Finance โGreen Infrastructureโ Bond
Built roads and gas pipelines in the name of โimproved energy efficiency.โ
51. Volkswagen โClean Driveโ ESG Note (Germany)
Issued post-emissions scandal, with no third-party oversight. Just trust them this time.
52. GDF Suez/Engie โClean Gasโ Transition Bond (France)
Clean gas? The bond funded new LNG terminals, not wind turbines.
53. DRC Government โSustainable Miningโ Bond
Tied to cobalt extraction with child labor concernsโframed as โbattery supply chain sustainability.โ
54. Occidental Petroleum โCarbon Offsetโ Bond (USA)
Issued to finance carbon capture… for enhanced oil recovery. So, oil-funded offsets for more oil.
55. Facebook (Meta) โSocial Good & Connectivityโ Bond (USA)
Labeled ESG for โdigital inclusion,โ while enabling disinformation and data exploitation.
56. Iran โEco-Islamic Financeโ Sukuk
Included vague climate goals but backed heavy industrial development.
57. Italy โGreen Renaissanceโ Bond
Used for metro expansions and… highway widenings. Still cars, still emissions.
58. Kazakhstan โEco-Industryโ Sovereign Bond
Greenwashing for heavy industrial zones with limited oversight or sustainable planning.
59. Exxon โBlue Carbonโ Ocean Bond (USA)
Issued to support mangrove preservationโwhile expanding offshore drilling in the same regions.
60. British American Tobacco โHealth & Sustainabilityโ ESG Note (UK)
Promoted vaping and โreduced harmโ products as part of a โhealth-focused future.โ ESG irony overdose.
Here are entries 61 to 80 of the Top 100 Most Absurd Green Bonds & ESG Debt Instruments Ever Issued:
61. Glencore โEco-Miningโ ESG Note (Switzerland)
Branded as sustainable while financing coal and cobalt mines infamous for rights abuses.
62. Belarus โEnvironmental Stabilityโ Sovereign Bond
Used for dam construction and hydro projects with major biodiversity destruction risks.
63. Chevron โNature-Based Solutionsโ Bond (USA)
Issued for carbon offset programs tied to questionable forest projects and land grabs.
64. Turkey โGreen Megaprojectโ Infrastructure Bond
Marketed as sustainable while financing airport expansions and bridge megaprojects.
65. Credit Suisse โClean Investmentโ Note (Switzerland)
Touted ESG innovation. Proceeds went to clients under money laundering and fossil fuel probes.
66. Aramco โSustainable Petroleumโ Bond (Saudi Arabia)
Possibly the most oxymoronic title in green finance. Funded refinery upgrades.
67. Poland โClimate-Resilient Agricultureโ Bond
Promoted meat-heavy farming and fertilizer subsidiesโdisguised as โclimate smart.โ
68. Deutsche Bank โESG Commitmentโ Bond (Germany)
Underpinned by internal ESG ratings. Backed companies exposed for deforestation and corruption.
69. Enbridge โNet-Zero Pipelineโ Transition Bond (Canada)
A โgreenโ bond used to expand oil pipelines with promised future offsets.
70. Argentina โGreen Sovereign Bondโ
Proceeds ambiguously spent on dams and farming expansionsโno credible ESG tracking.
71. Statoil/Equinor โArctic Renewablesโ Bond (Norway)
Greenwashing label on Arctic exploration zones, with token wind mentions.
72. Kazakhstan Oil Company โEnvironmental Integrityโ Bond
Touted as eco-conscious while expanding oil sands-like projects.
73. McDonaldโs โESG Food Futureโ Note (USA)
Used to install recycling bins while lobbying against plant-based regulations.
74. Cambodia โSustainable Tourismโ Bond
Funded golf resorts and casinos in protected forest areas. Green leisure?
75. Bank of China โEcological Investmentโ Bond
Channeled into coal-plant โupgradesโ and traffic-heavy highways.
76. Iraq โSustainable Infrastructureโ Bond
Post-conflict funding with little environmental oversightโmostly roads and diesel power.
77. Lufthansa โCarbon-Neutral Aviationโ Bond (Germany)
Supported fleet modernizationโyet no real cap on total flight emissions.
78. South Africa โJust Transitionโ Bond
Promised coal phaseout. Instead subsidized new gas development near poor communities.
79. Kuwait โEco-Petroleumโ Sovereign Bond
Green gloss over expansionary oil projects. โEfficiency upgradesโ was the buzzword.
80. Microsoft โAI for Sustainabilityโ ESG Bond (USA)
Claimed to use AI for climate solutions. Actually funded datacenter expansion with huge energy use.
Here are entries 81 to 100 of the Top 100 Most Absurd Green Bonds & ESG Debt Instruments Ever Issued:
81. Qatar โSustainable Citiesโ Bond
Built desert megaprojects with extreme water consumption and imported energy reliance.
82. Nestlรฉ โWater Responsibilityโ ESG Bond (Switzerland)
Issued while facing global backlash for water privatization and plastic pollution.
83. Malaysia โPalm Oil Transitionโ Bond
Claimed sustainability. Mostly funded land clearing and monoculture expansion.
84. Shell โCarbon Offsetโ Note (UK)
Financed carbon offsets widely criticized as double-counted or imaginary.
85. Saudi Electricity Company โGreen Gridโ Bond
Marketed as renewable transition; mostly used for fossil-powered grid upgrades.
86. Tesla โSustainable Innovationโ Bond (USA)
Funded lithium supply chains with little regard for environmental or labor standards.
87. Bulgaria โEco-Infrastructureโ Bond
Paid for concrete-heavy infrastructure with massive ecological footprint.
88. BP โPost-Carbonโ ESG Note (UK)
Used ESG buzzwords to finance gas and petrochemical expansions.
89. Azerbaijan โCaspian Clean Energyโ Bond
Green bond tied to fossil exports and highly polluting energy corridors.
90. Starbucks โSustainable Coffeeโ Bond (USA)
Marketing triumph, but minimal funds reached farmers; deforestation issues lingered.
91. Indonesia โEco-Tourismโ Sovereign Bond
Tourism-based developments destroyed mangroves and dislocated communities.
92. Goldman Sachs โInclusive ESGโ Bond (USA)
Labelled inclusive. Primarily backed internal finance productsโno measurable impact.
93. Uganda โGreen Infrastructureโ Bond
Proceeds helped finance Chinese-led oil roads and environmental degradation.
94. Royal Caribbean โClean Oceansโ Bond (USA)
Cruise line issued ESG debt for emission-reduction techโwhile expanding its fleet.
95. Deutsche Lufthansa โCarbon Balanced Travelโ Note (Germany)
Covered minimal biofuel use and promoted offsets without real cuts.
96. Libya โEco-Restorationโ Bond
No credible projects tied to the bond. Seen as a pure greenwashing tool.
97. Brazilian โAmazon Bio-Economyโ Bond
Logged forests to create โsustainable agroindustry.โ The irony stings.
98. US Department of Defense โEnergy Efficiencyโ Bond
Used ESG finance to retrofit military bases. Still bombing, but with LEDs.
99. ExxonMobil โFuture Generationsโ Bond (USA)
Named to evoke progress. Actually used for asset upgrades in oil rigs.
100. Vatican Bank โEthical Green Financeโ Note
Issued to fund โsustainable spiritual development.โ Funds tracked to questionable investments.
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