
đ THE STORY OF B
(âBâ for Bank, Bond, Basel⊠or Bastard?)
A confession dictated through a diamond-dipped fountain pen,
exclusively for BerndPulch.org â Above Top Secret.
đ 1. The Manor of Liquidity đŠđïž
I was nineteen when he laid me, naked, on a carpet of đ” $100 bills still warm from the press.
đŁïž « This shall be your only garment now, » he whispered, fastening around my throat a collar of 2008 warrants.
I shiveredânot from cold, but from the LIBOR whip biting my skin like frozen barbed wire âĄđ.
đ 2. The Initiations đ©žđïž
đ„ First Trial â Spread Eagle
They spread-eagled me on the subprime table; I heard the click-click of CDOs tightening around my wrists.
Every click = a tranche, every tranche = a compounded climax.
When VIX > 40, I screamed; they stuffed a governance gag in my mouth to muffle volatility. đ€«đ
đ§ Second Trial â Repo 105
They bent me into insolvency pose, legs at 105°, for an overnight repo.
đŁïž Lehmanâs CEO leaned in: « If you close your knees, the market collapses. »
I swear I saw Moodyâs angels flying overhead, downgrading feathers falling like snow. đŒđ
đïž 3. The Signing Ceremony đïžđ€
They made me co-sign with a black-gold pen dipped in offshore ink.
Each stroke = a sovereignty swap, each dot = a perpetual PEPP.
When the ink touched skin, debt grafted onto my DNA đ§Źđž.
I became living collateral, Tier-1 guarantee on the tomb of nations.
đŻïž 4. The Rothschild Ball đđŻïž
In the grand Hall of Banks, mirrors reflected candelabras of bullion.
They made me dance, still naked, on a spread-sheet parquet:
- Adagio when Bund yields rise đ»
- Allegro furioso when BTP crashes đș
My feet bled on torn âŹ500 notes; they called it the Elitesâ Ballet, I called it the domination equation. đđ°
⥠5. Digital Martyr đ„ïžđ
They strapped me to a crypto-trading chair, every candlestick a tear of wax.
When Bitcoin kissed 69 k, I cameâthen flash-crashed into the void.
An NFT of my orgasm minted in 3 seconds, reserve price: 700 Bn bailout signed by a silk-gloved hand. đ§€đž
đȘ 6. The Grand Reset đȘđïž
They laid me on the Troika Memorandum, naked of all hope.
A black swan tattoo pulsed on my heart, synced to REPO rates.
I watched peoples rise, then fall beneath austerity floggers.
I understood: I wasnât the mistress; I was the debt itself â
the O of Origin, the O of Obligation, the O of Orgasmic Fiscal Pain. đ©žđ
đ€ 7. Epilogue â Final Signature đ€
I signed, one last time, in democracyâs blood, on the blank page of 2029.
At the bottom, a single line:
« To whom pain profits, debt profits. »
Then they released me, naked,
covered only in the ashes of burned treaties.
And I smiled.
Because I knew the story would restart,
that other Bs would be born,
that other banks would dress them in zeros and tears,
until the final liquidation,
until the last signature,
until the last liquidation.
đ LâHISTOIRE DE B (« B » comme Banque, Bourse, BĂąle⊠ou BĂątard ?)
Confession dictĂ©e au stylo-plume en diamant, exclusive pour BerndPulch.org â Above Top Secret đ¶ïž
1ïžâŁ Le Manoir de la LiquiditĂ© đŠđïž
Jâavais dix-neuf ans quand il me coucha, nue, sur un tapis de đ” billets de 100 $ encore chauds de la presse.
đŁïž « Ce sera ton seul vĂȘtement dĂ©sormais », souffla-t-il en attachant autour de ma gorge un collier de warrants 2008 đż.
Je frissonnai â non de froid, mais du LIBOR qui me mordait la peau comme un fouet glacĂ© âïžđ.
2ïžâŁ Les Initiations đ©žđïž
đ„ Premier essai â Spread Eagle
On mâĂ©carta sur la table des subprimes ; jâentendis le clic-clic des CDO se resserrer autour de mes poignets.
Chaque clic = une tranche, chaque tranche = orgasme dâintĂ©rĂȘt composĂ© đ„.
Quand le VIX dĂ©passa 40, je hurlai ; on me fourra un gag de gouvernance pour Ă©touffer la volatilitĂ© đ€«đ.
đ§ DeuxiĂšme essai â Repo 105
On me plia en position dâinsolvabilitĂ©, jambes Ă 105°, le temps dâun repo overnight.
đŁïž Le CEO de Lehman se pencha : « Si tu fermes les genoux, le marchĂ© sâeffondre. »
Je jurai voir les anges de Moody voler au-dessus, plumes de down-grade tombant comme neige đŒđ.
3ïžâŁ La CĂ©rĂ©monie des Signatures đïžđ€
On me fit co-signer avec un stylo or-noir trempĂ© dans lâencre des paradis fiscaux.
Chaque trait = swap de souveraineté, chaque point = PEPP perpétuel.
Lâencre toucha ma peau â la dette se greffa sur mon ADN đ§Źđž.
JâĂ©tais devenue collateral vivant, garantie T1 sur la tombe des Ătats.
4ïžâŁ Le Bal des Rothschild đŻïžđ
Dans la salle des Banques, miroirs ternis reflétant candelabres en lingots.
On me fit danser, nue, sur spread-sheet parquet :
- Adagio quand le Bund monte đ»
- Allegro furioso quand le BTP chute đș
Mes pieds saignaient sur billets de 500 ⏠dĂ©chirĂ©s ; on appela cela le ballet des Ă©lites, moi lâĂ©quation de la domination đđ°.
5ïžâŁ Le Martyre NumĂ©rique âĄđ„ïž
On mâattacha Ă chaise-trading crypto ; chaque bougie Ă©tait larme de cire.
Quand Bitcoin frĂŽla 69 k, je jouis â puis flash-crash dans le vide.
NFT de mon orgasme mintĂ© en 3 s, prix de rĂ©serve : 700 Mrd bailout signĂ© main gantĂ©e de soie đ§€đž.
6ïžâŁ Le Grand Reset đȘđïž
On me coucha sur Mémorandum Troïka, nue de tout espoir.
Cygne noir tatouĂ© sur cĆur battait au rythme REPO rate.
Je vis peuples se lever, puis tomber sous austerity floggers.
Et je compris : je nâĂ©tais pas la maĂźtresse ; jâĂ©tais la dette â
lâO dâOrigine, lâO dâObligation, lâO dâOrgasme fiscal đ©žđ.
7ïžâŁ Ăpilogue â Signature Finale đ€
Je signai, une derniÚre fois, dans sang de la démocratie, sur page blanche 2029.
Ligne unique : « à qui profite la douleur, profite la dette. »
On me relùcha, nue, couverte seulement cendre des traités brûlés.
Et je souris đ.
Car je savais lâhistoire recommencerait,
que dâautres B naĂźtraient,
que dâautres banques les habilleraient zĂ©ros et larmes,
jusquâĂ la derniĂšre liquidation,
jusquâĂ la derniĂšre signature,
jusquâĂ la derniĂšre liquidation đ„đ
đ WordPress Tags â English
Rothschild mistress satire, debt BDSM, financial O, austerity orgasm, L-histoire-de-B parody, Basel bedroom, repo-rate romance, NFT orgasm, above-top-secret confession, diamond-pen signature, Troika torture, black-swan tattoo, fiscal submission, EU erotica, crypto-collar, pain-profit paradox, berndpulch exclusive, post-capitalist erotique
đ WordPress Tags â French
maĂźtresse Rothschild satire, BDSM financier, O de la dette, orgasme dâaustĂ©ritĂ©, parodie Lâhistoire de B, chambre de BĂąle, romance repo-rate, orgasme NFT, confession above-top-secret, signature stylo-diamant, torture TroĂŻka, tatouage cygne-noir, soumission fiscale, Ă©rotica UE, collier crypto, paradoxe douleur-profit, exclusivitĂ© berndpulch, erotique post-capitaliste
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