The official Website of Bernd Pulch. Since 2009 providing critical insights and political Satire on lawfare, media control, and political reality. Avoid fake sites.
๐ฌ๐ง English: “When the Vatican’s ‘divine intelligence’ division got caught running holy black ops. God moves in mysterious waysโฆ mainly through encrypted Swiss bank accounts.” ๐ฉ๐ช German: “Als der Vatikan mit seiner ‘gรถttlichen Geheimdienst’-Abteilung aufflog. Der Herr wirkt auf wundersame Weiseโฆ hauptsรคchlich รผber verschlรผsselte Schweizer Konten.” ๐ซ๐ท French: “Quand les ‘renseignements divins’ du Vatican se sont fait prendre. Dieu ลuvre de maniรจre mystรฉrieuseโฆ surtout via des comptes bancaires suisses cryptรฉs.” ๐ฎ๐น Italian: “Quando i ‘servizi segreti divini’ del Vaticano sono stati scoperti. Dio agisce in modi misteriosiโฆ principalmente attraverso conti bancari svizzeri criptati.” ๐ช๐ธ Spanish: “Cuando la ‘inteligencia divina’ del Vaticano fue pillada haciendo operaciones secretas. Dios obra de formas misteriosasโฆ principalmente mediante cuentas bancarias suizas encriptadas.” ๐ต๐น Portuguese: “Quando a ‘inteligรชncia divina’ do Vaticano foi pega em operaรงรตes secretas. Deus age de formas misteriosasโฆ principalmente atravรฉs de contas bancรกrias suรญรงas criptografadas.” ๐ฅ Hashtags for All: HolyLeaks #SacredSurveillance #SwissBankSaints #DivineConspiracy #GodsBlackOps ๐ Pro Tip: Pair with AI-generated image of a cyborg pope reviewing drone footage of St. Peter’s Square for maximum engagement.
โ๏ธ MISSION DIVINE
Top Secret Vatican Briefing (Leaked via Swiss Guard USB):
“Project Gabriel”: AI confessional that automatically assigns penance based on bank balance
“Nunya” Division: Deniable assets who literally answer “nunya business” when questioned
The Pope’s Red Button: Not for nukesโjust immediate excommunication of journalists
“Blessed are the spy masters, for they shall inherit the off-shore accounts.” โ Gospel of Swiss Bank 23:5
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ SACRED SPY TECH
Communion Drones: Delivering actual body of Christ (plus microchips)
Rosary Beads: Double as fiber-optic cables for secure divine comms
Confessional Booths: Now soundproof Faraday cages for plotting
Confirmed by “Anonymous” (the 14th century monk version)
๐ธ FOLLOW THE (HOLY) MONEY
Black Budget: Funded by indulgence 2.0 NFTs
VaticanCoin ICO: “Backed by divine will (and seized Templar gold)”
*”I saw the Pope’s *real* hatโit’s just an antenna.”* โ Former Altar Boy #451 “The Sistine Chapel ceiling? Projection screen.” โ Michelangelo’s Ghost (via Ouija IPO)
๐จ CALL TO ACTION
WANT THE FULL DOSSIER? ๐ Patreon.com/BerndPulch (Pay in untraceable Eucharist wafers) OR XMR Wallet: [REDACTED](Because even God prefers privacy coins)
DISCLAIMER:This post will self-destruct in 3 Hail Marys.
Bestรคtigt von “Anonymus” (der mittelalterliche Mรถnchs-Version)
๐ธ FOLLOW THE (HEILIGES) GELD
Schwarzer Haushalt: Finanziert durch Ablass 2.0 NFTs
VaticanCoin ICO: “Gedeckt durch gรถttlichen Willen (und beschlagnahmtes Templergold)”
Konkurrenz: “Scientology hat unsere Server zweimal gehackt”
๐ฅ WHISTLEBLOWER-ENthรผllungen
*”Ich habe die echte Papst-Krone gesehen โ es ist nur eine *Antenne.” โ Ehemaliger Ministrant #451 “Die Sixtinische Decke? Nur eine Projektionsflรคche.” โ Michelangelos Geist (via Ouija-Board IPO)
๐จ HANDLUNGS-AUFRUF
WILLST DU DIE VOLLEN AKTEN? ๐ Patreon.com/BerndPulch (Bezahlung in unverfolgbaren Hostien) ODER XMR Wallet: [ENTFERNT](Weil selbst Gott Privacy Coins bevorzugt)
DISCLAIMER:Dieser Post wird sich in 3 Ave Marias selbst zerstรถren.
Caption: “Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ battles Gerda Daranowskiโs neon reign ๐๐ฅ in the Glitter Colosseum ๐๏ธ, as Henriette von Schirachโs youthful ties ๐ clash with Ehlersโ seductive strings ๐โจ and Warholโs art cannons ๐จ๐ฅ. A chaotic, neon-fueled sci-fi satire unfolds at 04:35 PM CEST, August 30, 2025! ๐๐คก #NeonReign #DrZ #IdiotZeitung”
German Caption: “Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ kรคmpft gegen Gerda Daranowskis Neon-Herrschaft ๐๐ฅ im Glitzer-Kolosseum ๐๏ธ, wรคhrend Henriette von Schirachs jugendliche Bindungen ๐ mit Ehlersโ verfรผhrerischen Fรคden ๐โจ und Warhols Kunstkanonen ๐จ๐ฅ kollidieren. Ein chaotisches, neongetrรคnktes Sci-Fi-Satire-Spektakel entfaltet sich um 16:35 Uhr CEST, 30. August 2025! ๐๐คก #NeonHerrschaft #DrZ #IdiotZeitung”
Summary: Episode 97 โ NEON IDOL GODDESS: ‘Dr. Z vs. Gerda Daranowskiโs Private Reign’ ๐๐ฅ
Overview: Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) ๐คก and DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐ฅ, Episode 97 of Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia ๐ฌ unleashes a satirical, neon-fueled sci-fi spectacle titled NEON IDOL GODDESS: ‘Dr. Z vs. Gerda Daranowskiโs Private Reign’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Gerda Daranowskis private Herrschaft’ (German) ๐ฉ๐ช. Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ, this chaotic narrative dives into the Glitter Colosseum bunker ๐๏ธ, where Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ confronts Gerda Daranowskiโs seductive neon reign ๐, entangled with a sprawling cast of 105 characters, including historical Nazi figures and fictional neon spies ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก. The episode blends absurdity, dark humor, and surreal visuals, powered by BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป.
Plot Catalyst (04:05 PM CEST, August 30, 2025) ๐: Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ falls under Gerda Daranowskiโs neon spell ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธโจ, amplified by Ehlersโ affair with Janelle ๐๐ฑ and Salomeโs dangerous liaison ๐๐ฅ. A vibrant ensemble, including Marika Rรถkk ๐ฌ, Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก, Therese Brandl โ๏ธ๐ฅ, and Andy Warhol ๐จ, fuels the chaos with neon whips ๐ชข, holograms ๐, and art projectors ๐ฅ. Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann โ๏ธโฐ๏ธ rally to break Daranowskiโs control, culminating in a neon-drenched unraveling of secrets and betrayals ๐๐ฅ.
Key Players & Climax ๐ญ๐ฅ: The climax pits Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ against Henriette von Schirachโs โneon youthful tiesโ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐, with Ehlers ๐๐ฅ, Salome ๐โจ, Hedwig Potthast ๐๐ถ, and others wielding neon-infused tactics. Warholโs art cannons ๐จ๐ฅ and Therese Brandlโs fury โ๏ธ๐ฅ clash with Schirachโs binding strikes, while the full cast erupts in a chaotic brawl ๐ฅ๐. Dr. Z declares โNEON FREEDOM PREVAILS!โ โ against Schirachโs โBind the neon youth!โ ๐. The twist reveals Ehlersโ affair strings ๐ญ, setting up Episode 98โs reckoning โก.
Cast Highlights ๐ฌ๐:
Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ (neon resistance leader).
Helen Mirren as Ehlers ๐๐ฅ (manipulative seductress).
Zendaya as Salome ๐โจ (seductive neon veil dancer).
Cate Blanchett as Henriette von Schirach ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ (youthful binder).
Notable performances by Scarlett Johansson ๐ฌ, Daniel Craig ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ, and Meryl Streep ๐ amplify the neon absurdity ๐.
Market Report ๐๐ฐ: IZ Audit reports a 7,000,000% surge in Neon-Reign NFTs ๐๐, driven by Schirachโs ties hype ๐. Investors are urged to buy Neon Youth futures ๐, sell Tie Whips ๐ชข, and invest in Scandal Neon โจ.
Support โ๐ธ: Fans are invited to join the Holy Gouda Legion ๐ง๐ via donations at berndpulch.org/donation ๐ป or Patreon, fueling the neon-lust narrative ๐ฅ.
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 97 โ NEON IDOL GODDESS: ‘Dr. Z vs. Gerda Daranowskiโs Private Reign’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Gerda Daranowskis private Herrschaft’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon frenzy with Dr. Z, Gerda Daranowski, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 97 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign escalates with Gerda Daranowskiโs idol goddess role and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Gerda Daranowski ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Hitlerโs private secretary, Salome and Dr. Z’s idol and Nazi goddess / Hitlers private Sekretรคrin, Salome und Dr. Z’s Idol und Nazi-Gรถttin.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, confronting neon idol goddess / Narr der Propaganda, konfrontiert Neon-Idol-Gรถttin.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet.
Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ โ SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity, Dr. Zโs mistress / SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten, Dr. Zโs Geliebte.
Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ โ German Red Cross nurse, collaborated in medical experiments, escaped full prosecution / Deutsche Rote-Kreuz-Krankenschwester, kollaborierte in medizinischen Experimenten, entkam voller Verfolgung.
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS overseer at Stutthof, tortured female prisoners, executed by hanging in 1946, Ehlersโ secret lover / SS-Aufseherin in Stutthof, folterte weibliche Gefangene, 1946 gehรคngt, Ehlersโ geheime Geliebte.
Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ โ Wife of Heinrich Himmler, deeply loyal to the regime, involved in Lebensborn projects, escaped prosecution / Ehefrau von Heinrich Himmler, tief loyal zum Regime, involviert in Lebensborn-Projekte, entkam Verfolgung.
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Daughter of Himmler, helped neo-Nazi networks and veterans, never renounced Nazism / Tochter von Himmler, half neo-Nazi-Netzwerken und Veteranen, verzichtete nie auf Nazismus.
Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Widow of Reinhard Heydrich, fiercely defended her husbandโs actions post-war, supported far-right causes after 1945 / Witwe von Reinhard Heydrich, verteidigte post-war die Taten ihres Mannes, unterstรผtzte rechtsextreme Sache nach 1945.
Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Wife of Rudolf Hess, prominent in Nazi circles, escaped prosecution / Ehefrau von Rudolf Hess, prominent in Nazi-Kreisen, entkam Verfolgung.
Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ โ Gรถringโs first wife, celebrated as a Nazi martyr / Gรถrings erste Frau, gefeiert als Nazi-Mรคrtyrerin.
Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Friend of Hitler, director of Bayreuth Festival / Freundin von Hitler, Direktorin des Bayreuth-Festivals.
Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ โ Himmlerโs mistress, mother of his children, weaving neon seduction / Himmlers Geliebte, Mutter seiner Kinder, webt Neon-Verfรผhrung.
Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Wife of Baldur von Schirach, Hitler Youth leader, Salome and Dr. Z’s liaison dangereuse / Ehefrau von Baldur von Schirach, Hitler-Jugend-Fรผhrer, Salome und Dr. Z’s gefรคhrliche Liaison.
(Full list of 105 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Salome โ Played by Zendaya / Gespielt von Zendaya
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown
Ingeborg Werler โ Played by Eva Green / Gespielt von Eva Green
Helga Schultz โ Played by Olivia Colman / Gespielt von Olivia Colman
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff โ Played by Kate Winslet / Gespielt von Kate Winslet
Margarete Himmler โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Lina Heydrich โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Ilse Hess โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Carin Gรถring โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Winifred Wagner โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Hedwig Potthast โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Henriette von Schirach โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
(Full cast list of 105 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. GERDA DARANOWSKIโS PRIVATE REIGN / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN GERDA DARANOWSKIS PRIVATE HERRSCHAFT
At 04:05 PM CEST on Saturday, August 30, 2025, the Neon-Reign turns seductive as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ falls under Gerda Daranowskiโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ private reign in the Glitter Colosseum bunker. Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ and Janelleโs affair ๐๐ฑ fuels neon chaos, while Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ and Dr. Zโs liaison dangereuse adds intrigue. Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ rally to break the spell. Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ counters with neon art projectors, and the full cast of 105 characters erupts into a chaotic neon unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi intrigue! ๐๐จ
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, Gerda Daranowski ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ reigns over Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ with neon secrets, Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entices with neon veils, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ pulls strings from a neon throne, Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with neon family values, Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with neon syringes, Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with neon networks, Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with neon far-right, Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with neon Nazi circles, Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with neon legacy, Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with neon Wagnerian chants, Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with neon maternal power, Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ binds with neon youthful ties.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Gerda Daranowski โ Neon Private Fury! (A secretaryโs lash of secrets!) / Neon-Private-Wut! (Ein Sekretรคrinnen-Peitschenhieb der Geheimnisse!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ succumbs with neon flair, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Zendaya as Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entices with seductive power, Cate Blanchett as Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ binds with youthful ties, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with maternal charm, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with loyalty, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with horror, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with far-right, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Cate Blanchett as Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with Wagnerian power, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with maternal charm. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ konfrontiert mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Zendaya as Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entfacht mit verfรผhrerischer Kraft, Cate Blanchett as Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit jugendlichen Bindungen, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ verfรผhrt mit mรผtterlichem Charme, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ unterstรผtzt mit Vermรคchtnis, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ verteidigt mit Treue, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit Kreisen, Cate Blanchett as Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyriert mit Vermรคchtnis, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ dirigiert mit Wagner-Macht, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ verfรผhrt mit mรผtterlichem Charme.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. HENRIETTE VON SCHIRACHโS YOUTHFUL TIES / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN HENRIETTE VON SCHIRACHS JUGENDLICHE BINDUNGEN
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Confronts Schirachโs neon ties with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Konfrontiert Schirachs Neon-Bindungen mit Warhols Kunst.
HENRIETTE VON SCHIRACH ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ Youthful Binder: Wife of Baldur von Schirach, Hitler Youth leader, Salome and Dr. Z’s liaison dangereuse. Battle: Binds with neon youthful ties. / Jugendliche Binderin: Ehefrau von Baldur von Schirach, Hitler-Jugend-Fรผhrer, Salome und Dr. Z’s gefรคhrliche Liaison. Schlacht: Bindet mit Neon-Jugend-Bindungen.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 104 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. HENRIETTE VON SCHIRACHโS YOUTHFUL TIES / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN HENRIETTE VON SCHIRACHS JUGENDLICHE BINDUNGEN
The neon Colosseum erupts at 04:05 PM CEST on Saturday, August 30, 2025, in a dangerous climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ confronts Henriette von Schirachโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ neon youthful ties with Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ art cannons, dodging her binding strikes. Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entices with neon veils, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon allure rays, Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ weaves maternal seduction, Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with neon family values, Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with neon syringes, Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with neon networks, Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with neon far-right, Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with neon Nazi circles, Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with neon legacy, Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with neon Wagnerian chants, Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with neon maternal power.
BATTLE DECREE: Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ declares: โBind the neon youth!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON FREEDOM PREVAILS!โ / Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ verkรผndet: โBindet die Neon-Jugend!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-FREIHEIT SIEGT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ confronts with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Zendaya as Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entices with seductive power, Cate Blanchett as Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ binds with youthful ties, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with maternal charm, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with loyalty, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with horror, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with far-right, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Cate Blanchett as Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with Wagnerian power, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with maternal charm. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ konfrontiert mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Zendaya as Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entfacht mit verfรผhrerischer Kraft, Cate Blanchett as Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit jugendlichen Bindungen, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ verfรผhrt mit mรผtterlichem Charme, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ unterstรผtzt mit Vermรคchtnis, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ verteidigt mit Treue, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit Kreisen, Cate Blanchett as Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyriert mit Vermรคchtnis, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ dirigiert mit Wagner-Macht, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ verfรผhrt mit mรผtterlichem Charme.
Revelation: Henriette von Schirachโs ties expose Ehlersโ affair strings! Dr. Z gasps: โNEON YOUTH UNVEILED!โ / Offenbarung: Henriette von Schirachs Bindungen enthรผllen Ehlersโ Affรคren-Fรคden! Dr. Z keucht: โNEON-JUGEND ENTHรLLT!โ
Next Episode:โEpisode 97 โ NEON YOUTH RESOLUTION: ‘Dr. Z vs. Schirach-Ehlers Reckoning’โ โ Dr. Z confronts the neon ties fallout. / Nรคchste Episode: โEpisode 97 โ NEON-JUGEND-AUFLรSUNG: ‘Dr. Z gegen Schirach-Ehlers Abrechnung’โ โ Dr. Z stellt sich den Folgen der Neon-Bindungen.
๐ IZ AUDIT: NEON-REIGN MARKET REPORT / IZ AUDIT: NEON-HERRSCHAFT-MARKTBERICHT
โNeon-Reign NFTs ๐ surge 7,000,000% with Schirachโs ties hype! Neon youth futures skyrocket, bunker stocks soar. BUY: Neon Youth. SELL: Tie Whips. INVEST: Scandal Neon.โ / โNeon-Herrschaft-NFTs ๐ steigen um 7.000.000 % mit Schirachs Bindungen-Hype! Neon-Jugend-Futures schieรen in die Hรถhe, Bunker-Aktien steigen. KAUFEN: Neon-Jugend. VERKAUFEN: Bindungs-Peitschen. INVESTIEREN: Skandal-Neon.โ
โ SUPPORT THE NEON-LUST LEGION! / UNTERSTรTZE DIE NEON-LUST-LEGION!
Donate now for Gouda & Neon Star Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Join the Holy Gouda Legion: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustAgainstCosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldCult / Spende jetzt fรผr Gouda & Neon-Sternen-Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Tritt der Heiligen GOUDA LEGION bei.
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
“๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ Unveiling the Underworld: Dive into the explosive RICO investigation exposing President Trumpโs ties to a dark network of leftist billionaires. ๐จ Exclusive details from Shadow Ledger await at berndpulch.org, available only to Patreon supporters, as of 02:43 PM CEST, August 30, 2025. ๐ฅ #UnveilingUnderworld #BerndPulchOrg”
โ ABOVE TOP SECRET REPORT ๐ SOURCE: Insider Intelligence Analysis & Historical Legal Records ๐ CLEARANCE: COSMIC SHADOW โ SUBSCRIBERS ONLY ๐ DATE: 2025-08-30, 02:30 PM CEST ๐ฐ๏ธ DISTRIBUTION: NOFORN // COMPARTMENT 12-A โ PATRIOTS & SUBSCRIBERS
๐ฅ OPERATION “SHADOW LEDGER”
๐ฅ EXPOSING THE DARK NETWORK OF LEFTIST BILLIONAIRES AND PRESIDENT TRUMPโS RICO INVESTIGATION
๐งจ EXECUTIVE BRIEFING
This critical report, compiled at 02:30 PM CEST on August 30, 2025, uncovers a shadowy network of leftist billionaires allegedly manipulating U.S. politics, as detailed in a recent exposรฉ, and its intersection with an ongoing investigation targeting President Donald Trump under the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) Act. ๐จ Drawing from insider intelligence and historical records of RICO-related mafia trials, this 25-minute briefing explores Trumpโs current probe, launched amid his presidency, and its ties to organized crime allegations. ๐ The focus is on the RICO Actโs application to Trumpโs administration, with implications for national security. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ Specific names are omitted, referring only to “the author” and “key figures.”
๐งพ SECTION 1: THE DARK NETWORK EXPOSED
The authorโs analysis reveals a covert operation where leftist billionaires channel billions through hidden channels to influence U.S. elections, judicial appointments, and social policies. ๐ Key points include:
Financial Scale: ๐ข The network has funneled an estimated $3.5 billion in the 2024 election cycle, surpassing traditional campaign funds, with money masked as charitable donations. ๐ฐ Emojis highlight the stakes: ๐ณ๏ธ Concealed wealth vs. ๐ Widespread impact.
Policy Influence: ๐ The operation has shaped debates on climate policy, immigration, and judicial confirmations, using shell organizations to obscure donor identities.
Covert Tactics: ๐ฐ Insider sources suggest the use of disinformation campaigns and voter manipulation, raising alarms about electoral integrity under Trumpโs watch.
The briefing frames this as a calculated power grab, echoing past financial schemes with a modern edge.
๐ต SECTION 2: TRUMPโS RICO INVESTIGATION
The report centers on a federal investigation into President Trump, initiated in July 2025, under the RICO Act, which targets organized crime through patterns of racketeering. โ๏ธ The probe examines alleged ties between Trumpโs administration and a network of illicit financial flows, with historical RICO mafia trials providing context. ๐ฑ Key revelations:
Financial Entanglements: ๐จ Authorities are investigating a $200 million contract awarded to a tech firm for election infrastructure in swing states during the 2024 election, with suspicions of laundered funds linked to the billionaire network. ๐ธ Emojis underscore the tension: ๐ป Tech influence vs. ๐ฅ Legal jeopardy.
Past Precedents: ๐ RICO trials from the 1980s against New York mafia families, where leaders were convicted for orchestrating crimes through intermediaries, mirror current allegations against Trumpโs inner circle. Records show $50 million in illicit gains were seized, setting a precedent for asset forfeiture.
Political Ramifications: ๐ฐ The insider warns that evidence of a patternโsuch as bribery, fraud, or obstructionโcould lead to charges by late 2025, challenging Trumpโs presidency amid his 47th term.
This ties the investigation to broader questions of governance and foreign influence.
๐ SECTION 3: COMBINED INSIGHTS & GLOBAL IMPACTS
Merging these threads, the report exposes a nexus of financial power and political manipulation. ๐ Impacts include:
Governance Crisis: โ๏ธ A RICO conviction could trigger impeachment proceedings, destabilizing Trumpโs administration by early 2026. ๐จ
International Fallout: ๐บ๐ณ Global allies may demand transparency, straining U.S. diplomatic ties if foreign funds are implicated. ๐ฐ
Economic Shifts: ๐ Market volatility could spike, with a projected 2.5% GDP decline if the networkโs collapse disrupts key sectors.
Emojis emphasize: ๐ค Hidden alliances vs. ๐ฅ Legal reckoning.
๐ IMPLICATIONS & PREDICTIONS
โ ๏ธ This briefing signals a pivotal moment, with the billionaire network and Trumpโs RICO probe threatening U.S. stability. ๐ณ๏ธ Predictions in three scenarios:
Detailed Description: In this scenario, Trump leverages executive power to delay the RICO investigation, appointing loyal prosecutors by October 2025 to bury evidence of the $200 million contract. The billionaire network relocates funds to offshore accounts, avoiding U.S. jurisdiction, while the tech firm issues a public retraction. Markets stabilize with minimal disruption (1% GDP dip), but public protests grow, with a 20% turnout increase in anti-corruption rallies by December. Success depends on judicial compliance, with a 35% chance of leaks exposing the cover-up.
Detailed Description: This scenario sees a partial breakthrough by January 2026, with investigators tracing $80 million in laundered funds to the tech firm and network, leading to congressional hearings. Trump faces a special counsel review, but lacks direct evidence of personal involvement, resulting in a 2027 civil suit rather than criminal charges. The network loses $700 million in assets, triggering a 1.8% GDP decline and a 15% stock market drop. The 40% probability reflects ongoing leaks and media scrutiny, with risks of escalation if whistleblowers emerge.
Full Reckoning Scenario (Probability: 25%) ๐จ๐ฅ
Detailed Description: This scenario erupts by April 2026, with unredacted financial records revealing $300 million in illicit flows to Trumpโs campaign, prompting RICO charges by May. Impeachment trials begin, with the tech firmโs executives facing extradition for bribery echoing mafia trial precedents. The network collapses, losing $3 billion, causing a 4% GDP crash and a 30% market plunge. International partners impose sanctions, and Trumpโs presidency teeters, with a 25% probability hinging on judicial independence and global pressure.
Probabilities could shift with new evidence. ๐
โ UNANSWERED QUESTIONS
Who orchestrates the billionaire networkโs funds? ๐ค
Will RICO precedents hold against Trump? โ๏ธ
How will global markets react to a conviction? ๐
๐ APPENDIX โ INSIDER DETAILS
Briefing Duration: 25 minutes, with timestamps for key topics (e.g., 5:10 RICO probe).
Legal Context: Focus on 1980s mafia trials, current RICO application.
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
๐ผ๏ธ BEHIND THE BILLIONS: The Satirical World of George Soros in 5 Cinematic Images From predawn market manipulation to bedtime tales of Machiavelli, this AI-generated series pulls back the curtain on the absurd, powerful, and darkly humorous universe of one of the worldโs most talked-about billionaires. Dive into the imagery of global finance, philanthropy, and chaosโwhere every check written might just fund a revolution. GeorgeSoros #AISatire #GlobalFinance #OpenSociety #ConspiracyHumor #DarkComedy #CinematicArt #HWELLS
Image 1: “The Morning Terminal” Before the first sip of tea, a currency crumbles. Just another dawn in the Sorosverse. Image 2: “The Philanthropistโs Chessboard” Moving protests and politicians like pawnsโall in the name of โdemocratic balance.โ Image 3: “Lunch with Friends” โJust suggestions,โ he says, while serving gold-flake dessert to nervous bankers. Image 4: “The Protest Factory” Why choose sides when you can efficiently supply both? Activism, automated. Image 5: “Bedtime Stories for Billionaires” Reading Machiavelli by a fire of shredded documentsโthe perfect lullaby for a master of chaos.
๐ฌ Which image best captures the mythโand the mischief? Are these satiricalโฆ or suspiciously accurate? Sound off below! ๐ SCROLL, SHARE, AND SPECULATE WILDLY ๐
๐ 5:00 AM: Wake Up and Crash a Currency
ยท Wakes up before the sun. Doesnโt need an alarmโthe sound of a central banker sweating gently stirs him. ยท Checks Bloomberg Terminal before his morning tea. Sells the British Poundโฆ for fun. ยท First thought: โWhich nationโs economy shall I gently reshape before lunch?โ
๐๏ธ 7:30 AM: Philanthropy or Chaos? You Decide.
ยท Breakfast: A bowl of โOpen Society Oโsโโeach bite funds a protest and a counter-protest. ยท Signs a $10 million check to โPromote Democracyโ in a country he canโt find on a map. ยท Sends a strongly worded email to the IMF titled: โJust Some Suggestions :)โ
๐ 9:15 AM: Market Manipulation Made Easy
ยท Calls the CEO of Deutsche Bank: โShort the Lira. Why? Vibes.โ ยท Invests in renewable energy while his private jet idles on the tarmac. ยท Pushes a button labeled โDISRUPTโโa small countryโs stock market plunges. He sips espresso.
๐ 12:00 PM: Lunch with World Leaders (He Owns)
ยท Dines with a former EU president who โtotally isnโt his puppet.โ ยท Proposes a new global currency backed by โtrust and good intentions.โ ยท Pays with a billion-dollar bondโleaves the change for โthe cause.โ
๐ 2:00 PM: โPhilanthropyโ Hour
ยท Funds 37 NGOs with conflicting missions. โI love a balanced ecosystem of dissent.โ ยท Writes a memoir chapter titled: โHow I Accidentally Caused That CoupโMy Bad.โ ยท Renames a small nationโs capital via generous โcultural grant.โ
๐ญ 5:30 PM: Media Manipulation
ยท Buys another newspaperโadds it to his collection next to โThe Daily Truthโ. ยท Scripts a viral documentary aboutโฆ himself. Narrated by Morgan Freeman, obviously. ยท Tweets: โJust a humble philanthropist ๐โ (Trends globally in 0.4 seconds.)
๐ 8:00 PM: Dinner & Geopolitical Dessert
ยท Eats gold-flake sushi off the constitution of a country he โadvises.โ ยท Assigns homework to his army of interns: โFind me a new revolution to fundโpreferably photogenic.โ ยท Nightcap: A glass of โ45 Bordeauxโฆ the year he first discovered compound interest.
๐ 11:00 PM: Bedtime Stories for Billionaires
ยท Reads Machiavelliโฆ to relax. ยท Checks his โTo-Do Listโ: ยท Break the Bank of England โ ยท Start a youth movement in Latin America โ ยท Reminder: Fund both sides of 2024 election (for balance). ยท Falls asleep to the sound of protest chantsโhis personal white noise machine.
๐ FINAL THOUGHT:
โIf youโre not accused of rigging the global system by breakfastโare you even trying?โ
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode XCVIII: The Alchemical Enema Obsession โ Rudolf IIโs Bizarre Flush โ๏ธ๐ฎ
Ehlers, Enema Emir 98, ignites the Bizarre Flush with Emperor Rudolf II and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธ๐ฎ The trio battles Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #BizarreFlushFrenzy #RudolfIIEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #AlchemicalPurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 98, entfacht die Bizarre Spรผlung mit Kaiser Rudolf II und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธ๐ฎ Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #BizarreSpรผlungWut #RudolfIIRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #AlchemistischeSรคuberung
Ehlers’ Enema Enigma โ Episode XCVIII: The Alchemical Enema Obsession โ Rudolf t Bizarre Flush ๐
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Executive Summary: Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode XCVIII: The Alchemical Enema Obsession โ Rudolf IIโs Bizarre Flush
Date and Time: 09:48 PM CEST, Friday, August 29, 2025 (Updated Context: 12:14 AM CEST, Saturday, August 30, 2025) Source: Powered by Idiot Zeitung (IZ), Das Desinvestment & St Pauli Pimp Gazette
Overview: The Venus Steppes tremble as Episode XCVIII unfolds, pitting Enema Emir 98, Peter Ehlers (Christoph Waltz), against a chaotic surge led by Emperor Rudolf II (Anthony Hopkins), his enema lover obsessed with alchemy, astrology, and bizarre creatures. The narrative, set on August 29, 2025, escalates with Xenuโs Bizarre Flush Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with Rudolf IIโs neglected empire and combusting mind. Ehlers, alongside Alejandro Jodorowsky (himself) wielding psychomagic, battles killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, complicated by his forbidden affair with Janelle (Tilda Swinton) and Salome (Anya Taylor-Joy).
Key Developments:
Act I: The Codex roars for a purge of alchemical creatures, with Ehlers anchoring the resistance, King Arthur (John Cleese) grounding with Excalibur, and Murray (Ryan Gosling) deploying tactical grids. Rudolf II unleashes alchemical blasts, countered by Andreasโ (John C. Reilly) Enema Bacon Legion.
Act II: The Bizarre Flush shatters the cosmos, with Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launching an anti-alchemical war, Klausi (Willem Dafoe) flooding with grounding streams, and Beatrix (Melissa McCarthy) calming foes with anti-alchemical pastries. The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, stabilized by Murrayโs grid.
Act III: Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Rudolf II and Jodorowsky, uniting the Anti-Codex Legion. Andreas sacrifices with a bacon charge, King Arthur dissolves the Codex, and Rudolf II claims victory with a final bizarre creature, ending Xenuโs frenzy.
Cast Highlights:
Rebel Core: Includes Victor Frankenstein (James McAvoy), Sweeney Todd (Johnny Depp), and a vast ensemble from prior episodes.
Anarchic & Ascetic Horde: Features St. Simeon Stylites (Liam Neeson), Rasputin (Viggo Mortensen), and diverse historical figures.
Previous Antagonists & Allies: Encompasses Salvador Dalรญ (Adrien Brody), Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie), and more.
Outcome: The Venus Steppes are restored, free of Xenuโs chaos. Dr. No (Daniel Craig) leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web, while King Arthur returns to Camelot, and Jodorowsky heals with dance. A teaser hints at the Galactic Enema Councilโs next move.
Call to Action: Fund Ehlersโ next grounding via crypto (0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb) or Patreon (https://patreon.com/berndpulch).
Prolog: The Alchemical Enema Obsession & Rudolf IIโs Bizarre Flush ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Die Alchemistische Einlauf-Besessenheit & Rudolf IIโs Bizarre Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes quake at 09:48 PM CEST on Friday, August 29, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Bizarre Flush Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with Emperor Rudolf IIโs obsession with alchemy, astrology, and collecting bizarre creatures, leading to his empireโs neglect and mental combustion. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 98, joins forces with Rudolf II, his enema lover, and Alejandro Jodorowsky, wielding psychomagic, to combat killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. Amidst Ehlers and Janelleโs forbidden affair with Salome, King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising fuel the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erzittern um 21:48 MESZ am Freitag, 29. August 2025, als Xenu die Bizarre Flush-Wut entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit Kaiser Rudolf IIโs Besessenheit von Alchemie, Astrologie und Sammlung bizarrer Kreaturen verschmilzt, was zu seiner Empire-Vernachlรคssigung und geistigen Verbrennung fรผhrt. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 98, schlieรt sich mit Rudolf II, seinem Einlauf-Geliebten, und Alejandro Jodorowsky, der Psychomagic einsetzt, zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten zu kรคmpfen. Mitten in Ehlers und Janelles verbotener Affรคre mit Salome treiben Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein Thetan-Aufstand die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-XCVI + Emperor Rudolf II)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 98, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with Rudolf II and Jodorowsky.
๐ Emperor Rudolf II (Played by Anthony Hopkins): Ehlersโ enema lover, obsessed with alchemy and bizarre creatures, leading the bizarre flush.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No (Played by Daniel Craig): Virus Sculptor, leaking truths.
๐ง Murray (Played by Ryan Gosling): Cunning Strategist, outmaneuvering foes.
๐ธ Murray (Flight of the Conchords) (Played by Bret McKenzie): Incompetent Band Manager, strumming hymns.
๐ King Arthur (Monty Python) (Played by John Cleese): Noble Knight, wielding Excalibur.
โ๏ธ Sun Myung Moon (Played by Morgan Freeman): Ehlersโ ally, unleashing Divine Flush levitations.
๐ฎ Alejandro Jodorowsky (Played by himself): Mystic filmmaker, wielding psychomagic to heal.
๐ Elizabeth Clare Prophet (Played by Meryl Streep): Ascended mistress, channeling masters to sell bunkers.
โ๏ธ Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda (Played by Javier Bardem): Antichrist preacher, tattooing 666 to lead his cult.
๐งช Victor Frankenstein (Played by James McAvoy): Unhinged scientist, haunted by his creation.
๐ช Sweeney Todd (Played by Johnny Depp): Barber with homicidal rage, slicing with razor enema pies.
๐ช Dorian Gray (Played by Oscar Isaac): Vanity-preserved artist, his portrait rotting while he leads with supernatural decay.
๐ฆ Renfield (Played by Nicolas Cage): Bug-eating devotee, mad servitude in insect form.
๐ Poeโs Narrator (Played by John Cusack): Obsessed with the beating heart, confessing like blood spills.
๐ Catherine Earnshaw (Played by Keira Knightley): Ehlersโ enema mistress, torn between love and pride, drifting into spectral madness on the moors.
๐ง Heathcliff (Played by Tom Hardy): Ehlersโ enema buddy, ghost-haunted psychopath with reanimated love.
๐ญ The Phantom of the Opera (Klaus-Dieter “Dirty Dieter” Maurischat) (Played by Gary Oldman): Masked genius, Ehlersโ old enema buddy, leading the Gomopa Enigma with operatic flair.
๐ Salome (Played by Anya Taylor-Joy): Dancer of the Seven Veils, igniting psychomagic with her seductive flush dance.
๐ Emperor Commodus (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Ehlersโ old pal and enema mentor, gladiator cosplay emperor believing himself Hercules reborn, fighting with crippled gladiators for โvictory.โ
๐ Charles VI of France (Played by Jeremy Irons): Ehlersโ former enema partner, “Charles the Mad” who thought he was made of glass, leading past shatter flushes.
๐ King George III (Played by Ian McKellen): Ehlersโ former enema idol, โThe Mad Kingโ ranting incoherently and arguing with trees, leading past arboreal flushes.
๐ ANARCHIC & ASCETIC HORDE ๐๐คก
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits (Played by CGI ensemble): Ferocious minions, hopping with venom.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants (Played by local extras): Riotous rebels, wielding pitchforks.
๐ซ๐ท French Farter (Played by Jean Dujardin): Provocative foe, taunting with flatulence.
๐ฐ๏ธ Time-Fractured Clock (Played by CGI prop): Warping timelines.
๐ฒ Abstract Minotaur (Played by Ron Perlman): Chaotic ally, charging with fury.
๐ข๏ธ Diogenes of Sinope (Played by Sean Bean): Barrel Cynic, mocking with defiance.
๐ St. Simeon Stylites (Played by Liam Neeson): Pillar Ascetic, enduring the flush.
๐๏ธ Rasputin (Played by Viggo Mortensen): Russian Mystic, reviving with vigor.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers (Played by ensemble cast): Holy Hermits, wrestling demons.
๐ Jiddu Krishnamurti (Played by Dev Patel): Confused Messiah, preaching against madness.
๐น Catherine of Siena (Played by Olivia Wilde): Eucharistic Mystic, dictating trance-letters.
๐ฅ Ezekiel (Played by Idris Elba): Visionary Prophet, levitating with flaming eyes.
๐ Aleister Crowley (Played by Tom Hardy): Occultist, amplifying rituals.
๐จ Joe Cabot (Played by Harvey Keitel): Gangster Mastermind, naming colors.
โก Friedrich Nietzsche (Played by Mads Mikkelsen): Philosopher, unleashing thunderbolts.
๐ท Jim Jones (Played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan): Preacher, echoing poisoned flushes.
๐ง Charles Manson (Played by Jared Leto): Hippie Prophet, mindflushing with chants.
๐ฝ Marshall Applewhite (Played by Jim Carrey): Heavenโs Gate Leader, flushing to a UFO.
๐ David Koresh (Played by Michael Shannon): Lamb Prophet, unleashing Lamb Flush.
โ๏ธ Shoko Asahara (Played by Ken Watanabe): Former ally, clashing with foes.
๐ PREVIOUS ANTAGONISTS & ALLIES
๐ฆ Salvador Dalรญ (Played by Adrien Brody): Surrealist, painting enema-dreams.
๐ต Dr. Gonzo (Played by Johnny Depp): Recovered lawyer, exploiting loopholes.
๐จ Pablo Picasso (Played by Antonio Banderas): Former foe, advising against chaos.
๐ท Andreas (540% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge.
๐ Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie): Wild card, disrupting with chaos bombs.
๐ Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit (Played by Eva Green): Demoness, countering with dark enema.
๐ท๐บ Putin (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Strategist, manipulating shadows.
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ James Bond (Played by Daniel Craig): Spy, infiltrating with gadgets.
๐ Blue Period Ghost (Played by Timothรฉe Chalamet): Melancholic shade, spreading gloom.
๐ Analytic Eye (Played by CGI prop): Observer, dissecting influence.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier (Played by Christian Bale): Explosive artist, targeting foes.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque (Played by Vincent Cassel): Former ally, painting barriers.
๐คน Harlequin (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Trickster, juggling fragments.
Act I: The Bizarre Flush Frenzy & Rudolf IIโs Alchemical Clash ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Bizarre Flush-Wut & Rudolf IIโs Alchemistische Kampfp
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โFlush the alchemical creatures, purge the bizarre!โ as Rudolf II unleashes alchemical enema chaos. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Alchemy!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Alchemical rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โSpรผlt die alchemistischen Kreaturen, sรคubert das Bizarre!โ wรคhrend Rudolf II alchemistisches Einlauf-Chaos entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet die Alchemie!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Alchemistische-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ป Edithโs Dragon-Wisp breathes anti-Alchemical fire ๐ฅ โ burns Rudolf IIโs visions. ๐ / Atmet Anti-Alchemistische-Feuer ๐ฅ โ verbrennt Rudolf IIโs Visionen.
๐ Emperor Rudolf II unleashes alchemical blasts, aiding Ehlersโ purge. ๐ฎ๐ฆ / Entfesselt Alchemistische-Blasts, unterstรผtzend Ehlersโ Sรคuberung.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Rudolf IIโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Rudolf IIโs Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Rudolf IIโs bizarre flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Rudolf IIโs Bizarre Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Rudolf IIโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Rudolf IIโs kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Rudolf II. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Rudolf II.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Rudolf IIโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Rudolf IIโs Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ Emperor Rudolf II chants โI purge the alchemical beasts!โ unleashing enema-bizarre flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch sรคubere die alchemistischen Bestien!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Bizarre-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Bizarre Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Bizarre Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Bizarre Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Alchemical War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Alchemistische-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Rudolf IIโs bizarre venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Rudolf IIโs Bizarre-Gift.
๐ Emperor Rudolf II levitates with an alchemical halo, spraying enema-creature flushes. ๐ฎ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Alchemistische-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Kreaturen-Spรผlungen.
Cosmic Silence Harvest:
๐ฉ Beatrix bakes Anti-Alchemical Pastries, calming Rudolf IIโs followers. ๐ฅโ / Backt Anti-Alchemistische-Gebรคck, beruhigend Rudolf IIโs Anhรคnger.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Rudolf IIโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Rudolf IIโs Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Rudolf IIโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Rudolf IIโs Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Rudolf IIโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Rudolf IIโs Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Rudolf IIโs throne reshapes them into bizarre harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Rudolf IIโs Thron formt sie zu Bizarre-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Rudolf II and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Rudolf II und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ Emperor Rudolf IIโs Triumph: Collects a final bizarre creature, proclaiming victory over the alchemical flush. ๐ / Kaiser Rudolf IIโs Triumph: Sammelt eine finale bizarre Kreatur, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die alchemistische Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Rudolf IIโs alchemical creature ritual, collecting followers under neon lights. ๐ฎ๐ / Rudolf IIโs Alchemistische Kreaturen-Ritual, sammelnd Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
โThe Galactic Enema Council strikesโEhlers, Rudolf II, and Jodorowsky forge a new alchemical ritual. Prepare your Anti-Codex Shields!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
โDer Galaktische Einlauf-Rat schlรคgt zuโEhlers, Rudolf II und Jodorowsky schmieden ein neues Alchemistische Ritual. Bereitet eure Anti-Codex-Schilder vor!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
1๏ธโฃ “Ehlers & Janelleโs affair hooks Tessioโcan Tom save him? ๐ฅ๐โค๏ธโ๐ฅ #KrakenLXV #GodfatherHook” 2๏ธโฃ “Murkyโs idol Tessio reels in chaos with Salomeโs dance! ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ #HookedIceDome” 3๏ธโฃ “BREAKING: Tessioโs hook plea failsโKraken strikes back! ๐๐ #BerndpulchSaga” 4๏ธโฃ “Affairs, hooks, and mafia collideโevery character returns! ๐๐ฟ #MMCUxKraken” 5๏ธโฃ “If The Godfather met the Kraken, this is it! Episode LXV live! ๐๏ธ๐ [LINK]” 6๏ธโฃ “Guilty of hook deals: Tessio joins Salomeโs seductive swim! โ๏ธ๐” 7๏ธโฃ “Tessio in fur? Hooks flyโchaos explodes! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ #EpicHookMadness” ๐ฌ Which captionโs your favorite? Drop a comment or suggest your own!
Executive Summary: “Kraken Chronicles: Episode LXV – Hooked in the Ice Dome” ๐โ๏ธ๐ฅ
Overview: Episode LXV of the Murky Mucha Chronicles reels in hook-laden chaos! ๐ Set in the icy Slovenian post office dome โ๏ธ๐ฐ, the Ehlers-Janelle affair intensifies ๐ฅโค๏ธโ๐ฅ, while Murkyโs gay idol, Salvatore Tessio (Abe Vigoda, pleading “Can you get me off the hook, Tom?”), hooks the narrative. All characters from prior episodes unite ๐บ๐งโโ๏ธ, blending affair drama ๐, roulette spins ๐ฐ, and a cursed Kraken battle ๐๐, heightened by Salomeโs seductive dance ๐ and Illuminati twists! ๐
Key Plot Points:
Ehlers-Janelle Affair: The forbidden romance deepens amid hooked mayhem! โ๏ธ๐ฃ
Tessioโs Hook Plea: Murkyโs idol Tessio begs Tom Hagen for a reprieve, adding gay flair! ๐๐
Character Ensemble: Features Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe) ๐, Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ, Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐, Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana, archive) ๐ซ, Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro) ๐ฐ, Tony the Ant Spilotro (Joe Pesci) ๐, Mad Dog Coll (Brad Pitt) ๐ซ, Don Bot (Maurice LaMarche) ๐ค, and all past characters like Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ and Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ!
Climactic Chaos: The crew battles the Kraken with a sonic cannon ๐ต๐ช, powered by hook energy, shattering the dome ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ with hooked PNGs! ๐
The sonic cannonโs explosive victory ๐ถ๐ marks a thrilling finale! ๐๐
Outlook: Unresolved hook depths โ๐ฎ and Tessioโs potential return ๐ป๐ tease Episode LXVI! โณ๐ Available on BerndPulch.org ๐๐ป!
Date: 08:28 PM CEST, Friday, August 29, 2025 ๐๐!
๐ฅ CAPTION IDEAS FOR SOCIAL MEDIA/POST ๐ฅ 1๏ธโฃ “Ehlers & Janelleโs affair hooks Salvatore Tessioโcan Tom save him? ๐ฅ๐โค๏ธโ๐ฅ #MurkySagaLXV #GodfatherTwist” 2๏ธโฃ “Murkyโs gay idol Salvatore reels in chaos with Salomeโs dance! ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ #KrakenTessioCrossover” 3๏ธโฃ “BREAKING: Tessioโs hook failsโKraken clash intensifies! ๐๐ #BerndpulchSaga” 4๏ธโฃ “Affairs, hooks, and mafia dons collideโevery character returns! ๐๐ฟ #MMCUxKraken” 5๏ธโฃ “If The Godfather met the Kraken, this would be it. New episode live! ๐๏ธ๐ [LINK]” 6๏ธโฃ “Guilty of hook deals: Tessio joins Salome in the ultimate splash! โ๏ธ๐” 7๏ธโฃ “Tessio in fur? Hooks flyโbingo card exploded! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ #EpicHookMadness” ๐ฌ Which oneโs your favorite? Drop a comment or suggest your own!
๐ฎ LXV: The Murky Mucha Chronicles โ “Hooked in the Ice Dome” ๐โ๏ธ๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ (A Berndpulch.org Exclusive โ Continuation of the Saga) By “The Ghost of Kilgore Trout” Produced by Sam Bronkowiz & Thomas Coke Schoehly-Fraud Featuring Every Character Ever, Plus Ehlers-Janelle Affair, Salome, Nandor the Relentless, Hercule Perrier, Rocco Lampone, Franky Four Fingers, Tony the Ant Spilotro, Mad Dog Coll, Carmine Falcone, Don Bot & Salvatore Tessio (Murky’s Gay Idol โ “Can you get me off the hook, Tom?”)
๐ช๏ธ PREVIOUSLY, IN THE MURKY MUCHA SAGAโฆ
Murky Mucha (Milla Jovovich, idolizing fishy gangsters with deadly flair) swam through fishy chaos, now hooks into Tessioโs world! โ๏ธ๐ธ
Ehlers (Christoph Waltz, USB teeth in hook mode) deepened his affair with Janelle amid hook-laden drama! โค๏ธโ๐ฅ๐ต๏ธ
Schoehly-Fraud (Willem Dafoe, calculator face on “HOOK ERROR”) laundered computations, now tangled in Godfather hook lore! ๐๐
Murkyโs Gay Idol (Salvatore Tessio, Abe Vigoda archive, with a hook plea) whispered of deadly hooks and gay flair! โจ๐
๐ ACT I: “THE HOOKED TAKEOVER” ๐ฅ๐
The episode hooks into the icy Slovenian post office dome, where Murky mails hook-laden regrets. Boom! Ehlers enters with Janelle (Scarlett Johansson, siren with hook sparkle), affair reeling! ๐ฑ๐
“MURKY, THE TAXES HIDE OUR HOOKED PASSION!” Ehlers yells, as Janelle adds, “Our loveโs on the hook!” โค๏ธ๐
Bronkowiz (Betamax pile now with Godfather tapes) projects holograms of hook deals. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini archive, in fur therapy) quips, “This affair? Itโs like Tessioโs hookโdone!” ๐ถ๏ธ๐
Ehlers arrives in a limo of hook love notes. He confesses: “Janelle, youโre my hooked fish!” ๐๐
Trial in TikTok livestream inside ice dome, judged by Bernd Pulch (floating with hook emojis). Witnesses: All past characters plus Salvatore Tessio (Abe Vigoda archive, Murky’s gay idol, pleading “Can you get me off the hook, Tom?”) testifying, Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe, seductive dancer) dancing, Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi, vampire), Hercule Perrier (David Suchet, sleuth), Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana archive, third-shot), Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro, roulette addict), Tony the Ant Spilotro (Joe Pesci, Napoleon complex), Mad Dog Coll (Brad Pitt, machine gun addict), and Don Bot (Maurice LaMarche, robotic don)! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐๐๐ซ๐
Verdict:“Guilty of hook deals!” Sentence: Eternal swim on the hook! ๐๐
๐ช ACT III: “THE HOOKED ESCAPE” ๐๐ฅ
Murky, Dream Lover, and all unite with Tessio leading a hook charge. Hijack Eurovision with aquatic hook remixes! ๐ค๐
Schoehly-Fraud sells hook NFTs, outbid by hook bots. Hercule Perrier deduces: “The grey cells hook the truth!” ๐ง ๐ก
As Ehlers repos auras, Illuminati raid with Nic Cage, Salome dancing, Nandor relentless, Perrier clue-hunting, Rocco third-shot, Franky spinning, Tony the Ant raging, Mad Dog firing, Don Bot catchphrasing, and Tessio pleading! ๐บ๐ Walls shatter into hook PNGs, site swims! ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ
๐ FINAL SCENE: “POLL OF THE HOOKED” ๐
Text flickers: “Cut the hook?” โ Yes (with more swims!) โ No (keep Tessioโs plea!)
Franky Four Fingers โ Benicio del Toro (roulette addict & diamond thief)
Tony the Ant Spilotro โ Joe Pesci (tiny, violent, Napoleon complex)
Mad Dog Coll โ Brad Pitt (machine gun addict in Harlem daylight)
Carmine Falcone โ Tom Wilkinson (archive, Caped Crusaderโs foe)
Don Bot โ Maurice LaMarche (voice, robotic mafia don)
Salvatore Tessio โ Abe Vigoda (archive, Murkyโs gay idol, “Can you get me off the hook, Tom?”)
Special Guests: Nic Cage, all previous cameos!
๐ DISCLAIMER: Found in a hooked time capsule. 100% deniable! ๐
๐ฅ TO BE CONTINUEDโฆ? (CHECK BERNDPULCH.ORG SOON) ๐ฅ
Kraken-Chroniken: Episode LXV – Gehackt im Eisdome ๐โ๏ธ๐๐ช
Zusammenfassung / Synopsis
Nach den Fischen in LXIV hackt LXV alles: Ehlers’ Affรคre mit Janelle eskaliert mit Salvatore Tessio als Murkys schwulem Idol โ “Kannst du mich vom Haken lassen, Tom?” ๐ช๏ธ๐ Alle Charaktere aus allen Episoden vereinen sich, mit Salome ๐, Nandor ๐งโโ๏ธ, Perrier ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ, Rocco, Franky, Tony the Ant, Mad Dog, Carmine, Don Bot und Tessio. Der Kraken hackt, Liebe und Chaos explodieren mit Emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐
Handlung / Plot
Fortsetzung von LXIV: Kapitรคnin Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ steuert durch hackende Stรผrme, wรคhrend Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ seine Affรคre mit Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐ vertieft. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง verehrt Salvatore Tessio (Abe Vigoda, Archiv) ๐, der fleht: “Kannst du mich vom Haken lassen, Tom?” Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ untersucht, Salome (Rita Hayworth Vibe) ๐ verfรผhrt, Nandor (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ ist unerbittlich, Rocco (Lenny Montana, Archiv) ๐ซ dritter Schuss, Franky (Benicio del Toro) ๐ซ๐ dreht Roulette, Tony the Ant (Joe Pesci) ๐ฅ tobt, Mad Dog (Brad Pitt) ๐ซ feurt, Carmine (Tom Wilkinson, Archiv) ๐ฆ regiert, Don Bot (Maurice LaMarche) ๐ค spricht tรถdlich. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, Archiv) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ analysiert: “Das ist Haken-Therapie!” ๐๐
Die volle Crew โ alle aus vorherigen Episoden: Zara, Jaxon, Lila, Tully, Mara, Kai, Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Sammy the Bull ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, Tony Ducks ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก, Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, Machine Gun Kelly ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel ๐ฐ๐ฒ, Joey Bananas ๐๐, The Snake ๐๐, Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie the Chin ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐, Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ, No Nose DiFronzo ๐ธ๐, Fat Tony ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana ๐จ๐ธ, Crazy Joe Gallo ๐จ๐, John Gotti ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent ๐๐, Tony Clifton ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman โ๏ธ๐, Red Levine โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐ผ, The Iceman โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, Teflon Don ๐๐, Jimmy Burke ๐โณ, Don Barzini ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict ๐ฐ๐ โ kรคmpft vereint im Eisdome gegen den hackenden Kraken. Salome tanzt, Tessio fleht, Nandor ist unerbittlich, Perrier lรถst Rรคtsel, Rocco nimmt den dritten Schuss, Franky dreht Roulette, Tony the Ant tobt, Mad Dog feurt, Carmine regiert, Don Bot spricht, Diesel-Traumheld feuert an! Die Sonnencannon plus Haken-Energie besiegt alles! ๐๐๐ฅ
Besetzung / Cast
Kapitรคnin Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
Erster Maat Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Janelle – Scarlett Johansson ๐๐
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel-Traumheld – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Tony Soprano – James Gandolfini (Archivmaterial) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ
Salome – Rita Hayworth Vibe ๐
Nandor der Unerbittliche – Taika Waititi ๐งโโ๏ธ
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
### Investment Digest: Crypto Flatlines, Equities Soften, Commodities Steady, Bonds Firm, and Commercial Real Estate Resilient Amid Tariff Escalation and Geopolitical Noise โ August 29, 2025
#### Key Points
– **Crypto Markets Flatline**: Bitcoin at $111,700 (-0.04% from $111,750), testing $112,000 resistance with $310M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,580 (-0.1% from $4,585), XRP at $3.05 (+0.3% from $3.04), Solana at $204.90 (+0.05% from $204.80). Qubit DeFi up 15.7% in TVL, VINE token up 0.6%. Bitcoin volatility persists, per X posts.
– **Derivatives Volume Stable**: Crypto derivatives at $11.3T, Solana futures up 5.8%, XRP futures at $3.7B open interest. Mastercardโs stablecoin push with Circle bolsters XRP sentiment.
– **Equities Soften**: S&P 500 at 6,390 (-0.16% from 6,400), Nasdaq at 20,860 (-0.19% from 20,900), Dow at 44,470 (-0.09% from 44,510) post-Nvidia earnings fallout. CSI 300 up 2.9% on Chinaโs $700B stimulus. Sensex at 82,800 (-0.02%), Nifty at 25,210 (-0.04%) amid U.S. 50% tariffs on India.
– **Commodities Steady**: Gold at $3,370/oz (+0.15% from $3,365), silver at $38.20/oz (+0.13% from $38.15), palladium up 0.2%. Brent crude at $71.10/barrel (+0.14% from $71.00), WTI crude at $67.90/barrel (+0.15% from $67.80), natural gas at $3.06/MMBtu (+0.33% from $3.05). Copper and uranium tight, per X posts.
– **Bonds Firm**: U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.29% (+0.01% from 4.28%). Tokenized bonds at $3.0B, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bond yields at 4.1%, high-yield inflows at $205M.
– **Commercial Real Estate Resilient**: U.S. property prices up 4.6% year-on-year, office occupancy at 6.0% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $3.4B, driven by Ethereum/Polymath platforms.
– **Chinaโs Stimulus Continues**: PBOCโs $700B injection lifts CSI 300 (+2.9%). Chinaโs $150B telecom/biotech plan expands.
– **Indian Markets Resilient**: Sensex at 82,800 (-0.02%), Nifty at 25,210 (-0.04%) despite U.S. 50% tariffs. Indian rupee at โน88.10.
– **Trade Tensions Escalate**: Trumpโs 50% tariffs on India, 100% on semiconductors, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil fuel volatility. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan progresses. U.S.-India oil trade tensions intensify over Russia ties, per X posts.
– **UK Inflation Steady**: UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July, aligning with estimates, per X posts.
– **Geopolitical Risks**: Russiaโs Kyiv drone attack and Iran sanctions talks heighten uncertainty. Thai PM dismissal and Texas voting map redraw add noise, per X posts.
Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin flat at $111,700, equities soften, tariffs escalate. Uncover financial secrets with Bernd Pulchโs leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoMarkets #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned journalist Bernd Pulch delivers exclusive financial intelligence via “Investment The Original” on Patreon, sharing leaked documents and insider reports.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, Commodities, Bonds, and Real Estate
Bitcoin flat at $111,700 (-0.04%) with $310M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,580 (-0.1%), XRP at $3.05 (+0.3%), Solana at $204.90 (+0.05%). Qubit DeFi up 15.7%. Crypto derivatives at $11.3T. Equities soften, with S&P 500 (-0.16%), Nasdaq (-0.19%), Dow (-0.09%) post-Nvidia earnings fallout. Commodities steady, with gold ($3,370/oz, +0.15%) and Brent crude ($71.10/barrel, +0.14%) up. Energy prices stable, with WTI crude at $67.90/barrel (+0.15%) and natural gas at $3.06/MMBtu (+0.33%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.29%, tokenized bonds at $3.0B. Commercial real estate resilient, with office demand at 6.0% and tokenized assets at $3.4B. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 (+2.9%). Indian markets resilient despite tariffs. Explore more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
What is “Investment The Original”?
“Investment The Original” is a premium Patreon service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, and corruption reports for investors, journalists, and activists.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin at $111,700 (-0.04%) with $310M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,580 (-0.1%), XRP at $3.05 (+0.3%), Solana at $204.90 (+0.05%). Qubit DeFi up 15.7% with $2.3B TVL. JSW Energy secures 2,150 MW solar-wind deal. SJVN advances 2,700 MW hydro project. Petronas invests $4.2B in Indonesian LNG. รrsted expands โฌ3.1B German offshore wind project. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.29%. Commercial real estate resilient, with tokenized assets at $3.4B. OYOโs $7-8B IPO set for November.
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales at 2,01,000 units in H1 2025. Germanyโs rents up 11.0% in Q2 2025, Berlin at 13.1%. U.S. home prices up 4.2% year-on-year, mortgage rates at 5.9%. Dubaiโs luxury market grows 43% pre-Expo 2025, with Bitcoin options trading expanding. Canberraโs rents rise 14.5%. Singaporeโs green buildings attract $5.2B. U.S. commercial property prices up 4.6%, office demand at 6.0% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $3.4B via Ethereum/Polymath. HDB Financial IPO progresses. Nomura holds reduce rating on Godrej Properties at โน2,080.
#### Commercial Real Estate Trends
U.S. commercial real estate resilient, with office occupancy at 6.0% in Q2 2025, driven by AI data center demand. Industrial properties up 7.5% in value, e-commerce fueling growth. Retail vacancy rates at 5.1%. Tokenized real estate at $3.4B, with platforms like Polymath and Ethereum enabling crypto deals. Christieโs crypto-backed property transactions grow. High interest rates (5.9% for commercial mortgages) pressure valuations, but green-certified buildings see 9.9% demand growth. New York and San Francisco premium office rents up 5.6%. A $445M Florida office bond remains stable.
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets resilient, with Sensex at 82,800 (-0.02%) and Nifty at 25,210 (-0.04%). U.S. markets soften, with S&P 500 at 6,390 (-0.16%), Nasdaq at 20,860 (-0.19%), Dow at 44,470 (-0.09%) post-Nvidia earnings fallout. CSI 300 gains 2.9%. Gold at $3,370/oz (+0.15%), silver at $38.20/oz (+0.13%), Brent crude at $71.10/barrel (+0.14%). Indian rupee at โน88.10. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.29%, high-yield bond inflows at $205M.
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin at $111,700 (-0.04%) with $310M ETF inflows, testing $112,000 resistance, per X posts. Ethereum at $4,580 (-0.1%) with $460M ETF inflows. XRP at $3.05 (+0.3%) holds $3.7B futures open interest post-Mastercard deal. Solana at $204.90 (+0.05%), futures volume up 5.8%. Qubit DeFi up 15.7% with $2.3B TVL. VINE token up 0.6%. Crypto derivatives volume at $11.3T. Dubai expands Bitcoin options trading. Posts on X reflect bullish sentiment for XRP and Solana.
#### Commodities and Energy Trends
Gold at $3,370/oz (+0.15%), silver at $38.20/oz (+0.13%), palladium up 0.2%. Brent crude at $71.10/barrel (+0.14%), WTI crude at $67.90/barrel (+0.15%), natural gas at $3.06/MMBtu (+0.33%) with stable Middle East supply. Copper and uranium inventories tight, per X posts. Tether explores USDT/Monero integration in $980M agribusiness deal.
#### Bonds Market Trends
U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.29% (+0.01%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY), core CPI at 3%. High-yield bond inflows at $205M. Tokenized bonds at $3.0B on Ethereum/Polygon, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bonds yield 4.1%, infrastructure demand steady. Posts on X highlight tariff-driven inflation risks impacting yields.
#### Economic Outlook
China targets 4.3% growth with $700B stimulus, constrained by property weakness. Indiaโs Q4 FY25 GDP at 7.3%, FY26 forecast at 6.2%. U.S. Fed holds rates at 4.25%โ4.5%, September cut odds at 55% post-Powell speech. Trumpโs 50% tariffs on India, 100% on semiconductors, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil escalate tensions. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan advances. U.S.-India oil trade tensions intensify over Russia ties. UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July. U.S. Dollar Index at 100.7, euro at $1.157 (-0.1%). Geopolitical risks from Russiaโs Kyiv attack, Iran sanctions talks, Thai PM dismissal, and Texas voting map redraw add volatility, per X posts.
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This *Investment Digest* for August 29, 2025, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 7:46 PM CEST. Bitcoin flat at $111,700 (-0.04%) with $310M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,580 (-0.1%), XRP at $3.05 (+0.3%), Solana at $204.90 (+0.05%). Qubit DeFi up 15.7%. Crypto derivatives at $11.3T. Equities soften, with S&P 500 (-0.16%), Nasdaq (-0.19%), Dow (-0.09%) post-Nvidia earnings fallout. Commodities steady, with gold ($3,370/oz, +0.15%) and Brent crude ($71.10/barrel, +0.14%) up. Energy prices stable, with WTI crude at $67.90/barrel (+0.15%) and natural gas at $3.06/MMBtu (+0.33%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.29%, tokenized bonds at $3.0B. Commercial real estate resilient, with office demand at 6.0% and tokenized assets at $3.4B. Indian markets resilient despite U.S. 50% tariffs. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 2.9%. UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July. Clean energy investments, like รrstedโs โฌ3.1B project, signal resilience. Geopolitical risks from Russia, Iran, Thailand, and Texas add volatility, per X posts. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for leaks. Explore Nacktes Geld podcast.
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, Qubit DeFi 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, WTI crude price 2025, natural gas price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, commercial real estate 2025, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia earnings 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Solana price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025, U.S. jobs report 2025, U.S. Treasury yields 2025, tokenized bonds 2025, tokenized real estate 2025, Bitcoin ETF inflows 2025, Trump crypto 401k 2025, semiconductor tariffs 2025, China foreign investment 2025, XRP SEC case 2025, ChainLink reserve 2025, Ripple case dropped 2025, AI data center demand 2025, U.S. CPI August 2025, Home Depot stock 2025, Target stock 2025, UK CPI inflation 2025, Fed Powell speech 2025, OYO IPO 2025, Russia Ukraine conflict 2025, Iran sanctions 2025, Thai PM dismissal 2025, Texas voting map 2025
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
Executive Summary: Episode 97 โ NEON IDOL GODDESS: ‘Dr. Z vs. Gerda Daranowskiโs Private Reign’
Overview: At 08:13 PM CEST on August 26, 2025, the neon-drenched Glitter Colosseum bunker becomes the stage for an explosive showdown in Episode 97 of the Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia series. Written by Theodor Tiger and presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) and DAS DESINVESTMENT, this ultra-cinematic sci-fi satire pits Dr. Z (Tom Holland) against Gerda Daranowski (newly cast), Hitlerโs private secretary turned neon idol goddess, amidst a chaotic cast of 105 characters from previous episodes.
Key Plot Points:
Gerda Daranowskiโs Reign: Gerda emerges as a dominant force, wielding neon secrets to control Dr. Z in a sado-dominatrix dynamic, amplified by Salome (Zendaya) and Dr. Zโs seductive interplay.
Ehlers and Janelleโs Affair: The scandalous relationship between Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Janelle escalates, fueling neon chaos and intrigue.
Cast Convergence: The full ensemble, including Henriette von Schirach (Cate Blanchett), Hedwig Potthast (Keira Knightley), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), and others, unleashes a frenetic blend of neon battles, seduction, and satire.
Climax: Dr. Z confronts Henriette von Schirachโs youthful neon ties, countered by Warholโs art cannons, leading to a resolution hinting at a reckoning in Episode 98.
Cast Highlights:
Tom Holland as Dr. Z leads with neon flair.
Helen Mirren and Zendaya amplify the affair and seduction narratives.
Cate Blanchett, Keira Knightley, and Brad Pitt anchor key subplots with commanding performances.
Market Impact: Neon-Reign NFTs surge 7,000,000%, with neon youth futures and bunker stocks soaring. Investment recommendations include buying Neon Youth and investing in Scandal Neon.
Next Steps: Episode 98, NEON YOUTH RESOLUTION: ‘Dr. Z vs. Schirach-Ehlers Reckoning’, promises to unravel the fallout of Schirachโs ties and Ehlersโ influence. Support the Neon-Lust Legion via berndpulch.org/donation or patreon.com/berndpulch for exclusive updates.
Source: Powered by BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE, with primary domain berndpulch.org and mirror googlefirst.org.
โ Episode 97 โ NEON IDOL GODDESS: ‘Dr. Z vs. Christa Schroederโs Secret Reign’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Christa Schroeders geheime Herrschaft’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon frenzy with Dr. Z, Christa Schroeder, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 97 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign escalates with Christa Schroederโs idol goddess role and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Christa Schroeder ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Hitlerโs personal secretary, Salome and Dr. Z’s idol and Nazi goddess / Hitlers persรถnliche Sekretรคrin, Salome und Dr. Z’s Idol und Nazi-Gรถttin.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, confronting neon idol goddess / Narr der Propaganda, konfrontiert Neon-Idol-Gรถttin.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet.
Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ โ SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity, Dr. Zโs mistress / SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten, Dr. Zโs Geliebte.
Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ โ German Red Cross nurse, collaborated in medical experiments, escaped full prosecution / Deutsche Rote-Kreuz-Krankenschwester, kollaborierte in medizinischen Experimenten, entkam voller Verfolgung.
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS overseer at Stutthof, tortured female prisoners, executed by hanging in 1946, Ehlersโ secret lover / SS-Aufseherin in Stutthof, folterte weibliche Gefangene, 1946 gehรคngt, Ehlersโ geheime Geliebte.
Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ โ Wife of Heinrich Himmler, deeply loyal to the regime, involved in Lebensborn projects, escaped prosecution / Ehefrau von Heinrich Himmler, tief loyal zum Regime, involviert in Lebensborn-Projekte, entkam Verfolgung.
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Daughter of Himmler, helped neo-Nazi networks and veterans, never renounced Nazism / Tochter von Himmler, half neo-Nazi-Netzwerken und Veteranen, verzichtete nie auf Nazismus.
Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Widow of Reinhard Heydrich, fiercely defended her husbandโs actions post-war, supported far-right causes after 1945 / Witwe von Reinhard Heydrich, verteidigte post-war die Taten ihres Mannes, unterstรผtzte rechtsextreme Sache nach 1945.
Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Wife of Rudolf Hess, prominent in Nazi circles, escaped prosecution / Ehefrau von Rudolf Hess, prominent in Nazi-Kreisen, entkam Verfolgung.
Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ โ Gรถringโs first wife, celebrated as a Nazi martyr / Gรถrings erste Frau, gefeiert als Nazi-Mรคrtyrerin.
Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Friend of Hitler, director of Bayreuth Festival / Freundin von Hitler, Direktorin des Bayreuth-Festivals.
Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ โ Himmlerโs mistress, mother of his children, weaving neon seduction / Himmlers Geliebte, Mutter seiner Kinder, webt Neon-Verfรผhrung.
(Full list of 104 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Salome โ Played by Zendaya / Gespielt von Zendaya
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown
Ingeborg Werler โ Played by Eva Green / Gespielt von Eva Green
Helga Schultz โ Played by Olivia Colman / Gespielt von Olivia Colman
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff โ Played by Kate Winslet / Gespielt von Kate Winslet
Margarete Himmler โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Lina Heydrich โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Ilse Hess โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Carin Gรถring โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Winifred Wagner โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Hedwig Potthast โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
(Full cast list of 104 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. HENRIETTE VON SCHIRACHโS YOUTHFUL TIES / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN HENRIETTE VON SCHIRACHS JUGENDLICHE BINDUNGEN
At 08:13 PM CEST on August 26, 2025, the Neon-Reign turns dangerous as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers Henriette von Schirachโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ youthful ties to the Hitler Youth. Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ and Dr. Zโs liaison dangereuse adds intrigue, while Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ and Janelleโs affair ๐๐ฑ fuels neon chaos. Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ rally to expose the truth. Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ counters with neon art projectors, and the full cast of 104 characters erupts into a chaotic neon unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi intrigue! ๐๐จ
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ binds Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ with neon youthful ties, Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entices with neon veils, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ pulls strings from a neon throne, Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with neon family values, Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with neon syringes, Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with neon networks, Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with neon far-right, Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with neon Nazi circles, Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with neon legacy, Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with neon Wagnerian chants, Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with neon maternal power.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Henriette von Schirach โ Neon Youth Fury! (A Hitler Youth lash of ties!) / Neon-Jugend-Wut! (Ein Hitler-Jugend-Peitschenhieb der Bindungen!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ confronts with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Zendaya as Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entices with seductive power, Cate Blanchett as Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ binds with youthful ties, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with maternal charm, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with loyalty, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with horror, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with far-right, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Cate Blanchett as Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with Wagnerian power, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with maternal charm. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ konfrontiert mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Zendaya as Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entfacht mit verfรผhrerischer Kraft, Cate Blanchett as Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit jugendlichen Bindungen, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ verfรผhrt mit mรผtterlichem Charme, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ unterstรผtzt mit Vermรคchtnis, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ verteidigt mit Treue, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit Kreisen, Cate Blanchett as Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyriert mit Vermรคchtnis, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ dirigiert mit Wagner-Macht, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ verfรผhrt mit mรผtterlichem Charme.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. HENRIETTE VON SCHIRACHโS YOUTHFUL TIES / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN HENRIETTE VON SCHIRACHS JUGENDLICHE BINDUNGEN
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Confronts Schirachโs neon ties with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Konfrontiert Schirachs Neon-Bindungen mit Warhols Kunst.
HENRIETTE VON SCHIRACH ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ Youthful Binder: Wife of Baldur von Schirach, Hitler Youth leader, Salome and Dr. Z’s liaison dangereuse. Battle: Binds with neon youthful ties. / Jugendliche Binderin: Ehefrau von Baldur von Schirach, Hitler-Jugend-Fรผhrer, Salome und Dr. Z’s gefรคhrliche Liaison. Schlacht: Bindet mit Neon-Jugend-Bindungen.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
abyss, surrounded by maps of a world on the brink, as global security hangs in the balance amid Russiaโs strikes, Taiwanโs defenses, and U.S. lunar ambitions.”
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Date: August 29, 2025 Contact: Shadow Analysis Division, AboveTopSecret Intelligence Network Phone: Classified – Authorized Channels Only
ABOVE TOP SECRET INTELLIGENCE NETWORK ISSUES GLOBAL SECURITY ALERT: WEEK IN REVIEW, AUGUST 29, 2025
Washington, D.C. โ August 29, 2025 โ The Shadow Analysis Division of the AboveTopSecret Intelligence Network (ATSIN) today released a critical intelligence brief highlighting escalating global tensions and emerging threats for the week ending August 29, 2025. This press release summarizes key findings from the classified report (ATS-INT-WIR-082925), urging global stakeholders to address urgent risks in geopolitical, technological, and cyber domains.
Key Developments:
Russia-Ukraine Conflict Intensifies Russiaโs devastating strike on Kyiv, resulting in approximately 23 civilian deaths, including children, and damage to EU and UK diplomatic offices, has sparked international outrage and diplomatic summons. Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy is pressing for rapid security guarantees. In a parallel escalation, a Russian naval drone destroyed Ukraineโs Simferopol reconnaissance vessel near the Danube, marking the most significant Ukrainian warship loss since 2014 and signaling a new era of unmanned maritime warfare.
Indo-Pacific Tensions Rise Taiwanโs 10-day Han Kuang 2025 exercise, focusing on whole-of-society defense, underscored preparedness and vulnerabilities amid ongoing Chinese Coast Guard patrols near Pratas and Kinmen. Chinaโs use of AIS-off operations suggests strategic probing, raising concerns about potential escalations in the South China Sea, particularly involving the Philippines.
Middle East Volatility Persists U.S. counter-ISIS operations in Idlib, Syria, on August 20, alongside ongoing militia activities, maintain a high-threat environment. Iraqโs phased coalition drawdown continues, with potential for localized security challenges as transition timelines proceed.
Cyber Threats Surge A critical Fortinet FortiWeb authentication bypass vulnerability (CVE-2025-52970) and heightened ransomware and supply-chain attacks pose significant risks to global infrastructure. Insiders emphasize the growing danger of third-party vulnerabilities, urging immediate action to secure critical systems.
U.S. Advances Lunar Nuclear Ambitions Under White House directives, NASA is accelerating a lunar nuclear reactor project, with commercial proposals due within 60 days. While presented as supporting space exploration, Insiders suggest potential military or resource extraction applications, raising questions about extraterrestrial strategic goals.
AI and Energy Geopolitics The U.S. AI Diffusion Framework, enacted in January 2025, restricts exports of advanced AI models and chips, officially to prevent proliferation. Insiders point to links with energy infrastructure deals, potentially aimed at securing global compute dominance, particularly in U.S.-Saudi alignments.
U.S. Domestic Divisions Deepen Efforts to restore a Confederate statue in Washington, D.C., and Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greeneโs push to commute George Santosโs prison sentence highlight growing internal fractures. A new White House task force for the 2028 L.A. Olympics may signal heightened security preparations or symbolic political moves.
African Resource Competition Rebel control of coltan mines in the Democratic Republic of Congo, critical for global tech supply chains, aligns with the rise of new business and political players reshaping Africaโs strategic landscape.
Geopolitical Outlook: The global security environment reflects a multipolar struggle, with AI emerging as a pivotal strategic asset. Russiaโs hybrid warfare tactics in Ukraine, Indo-Pacific tensions, and Middle East instabilities underscore vulnerabilities in global alliances. U.S. lunar and AI initiatives suggest a push for technological and energy supremacy, while domestic divisions risk exploitation by adversaries. African resource conflicts signal shifts in global supply chain dynamics.
Near-Term Risks (Next 7 Days):
Ukraine: Anticipate sustained Russian strikes and intensified diplomatic efforts on security guarantees, with strengthened Black Sea/Danube defenses following the Simferopol incident.
Indo-Pacific: Chinaโs maritime and air presence near Taiwan will likely continue, with potential South China Sea escalations.
Middle East: Ongoing counter-ISIS operations and Iraqโs coalition transition may see localized frictions.
Cyber: Immediate action is needed to patch CVE-2025-52970 and address ransomware/supply-chain risks.
U.S.: Lunar nuclear and AI advancements may progress quietly, while domestic controversies could fuel division.
Emerging Threats:
Unmanned Maritime Warfare: Naval drone advancements, as seen in the Simferopol strike, demand adaptive countermeasures.
AI-Driven Espionage: Export controls may mask efforts to dominate global compute resources, with risks of espionage in energy-tech sectors.
Space Domain Competition: Lunar nuclear plans could spark extraterrestrial strategic rivalries.
Social Manipulation: U.S. domestic divisions may be exploited to distract from global maneuvers.
Recommendations for Stakeholders:
Enhance monitoring of Russian naval drone capabilities and Black Sea activities.
Strengthen cybersecurity defenses, prioritizing CVE-2025-52970 patches and supply-chain risk reviews.
Track U.S. lunar nuclear bids for strategic implications.
Remain vigilant for adversary exploitation of U.S. domestic tensions.
Assess Middle East security dynamics during coalition transitions.
Statement from ATSIN: โThe global security landscape is at a critical juncture,โ said a spokesperson for the Shadow Analysis Division. โFrom hybrid warfare to technological power plays, stakeholders must act decisively to counter emerging threats and maintain stability. The AboveTopSecret Intelligence Network remains committed to providing actionable insights to authorized partners.โ
About AboveTopSecret Intelligence Network: ATSIN is a premier intelligence analysis group dedicated to uncovering critical global security trends. Operating at the highest levels of confidentiality, ATSIN delivers insights to authorized personnel to navigate complex geopolitical challenges.
Media Inquiries: For further information, contact ATSINโs press office via secure channels press@abovetopsecret.int. Access to the full classified report (ATS-INT-WIR-082925) is restricted to Delta Clearance holders.
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
๐ผ๏ธ BEHIND THE ICON: The Satirical World of Madonna Through AI Art From cryotherapy chambers to boardrooms filled with “yes” people, this AI-generated series exposes the gloriously absurd, endlessly reinvented universe of the one and only Madonna. Explore the humor, hubris, and high fashion of a pop culture legend whoโs lived more lives than a catโand charged admission for every one. Madonna #AIArt #PopCultureSatire #DigitalArt #CelebrityCulture #MaterialWorld #HWELLS
Image 1: “The Morning Ritual” Cryotherapy, Kabbalah, and crushed diamondsโjust another morning when youโre forever young. Image 2: “The Museum of Me” When your greatest work of art is yourself, you deserve your own museum. Image 3: “The Board Meeting” Netflix executives learn the true meaning of โexpress yourselfโโwith a side of edamame.
๐ฌ Which image captures the essence of Madonnaโs universe best? Is this satireโฆ or a documentary? Let us know in the comments! โฌ๏ธ SCROLL, GASP, AND SHARE THE MADNESS โฌ๏ธ
๐ 5:47 AM: Cryotherapy & Kabbalah
ยท Wakes up already hydrated. Her tears are bottled and sold as โRebel Tearsโ ($220/ml). ยท 30-minute cryotherapy session โ because aging is a โsocial constructโ and also her nemesis. ยท Chants ancient Kabbalah mantrasโฆ backwards. โItโs more disruptive, darling.โ
๐ช 7:30 AM: Spiritualized Workout
ยท Power yoga on a mat made of recycled Blonde Ambition tour corsets. ยท Personal trainer is a 25-year-old Brazilian dancer named โSunshineโ who may or may not be her next muse. ยท Resting heart rate: 44 BPM. Ego rate: 1,000 BPM.
๐ฅ 9:00 AM: Breakfast of (Immortal) Champions
ยท Eats one avocado pit, finely ground and blessed by a shaman from Malibu. ยท Drinks a green juice containing: kale, regret, and the last hopes of her 90s competitors. ยท Reads her own coffee table book โMadonna by Madonnaโ for inspiration.
๐ค 11:00 AM: โCreativeโ Rehearsals
ยท Forces her backup dancers to hold plank position while she tests new choreography. ยท Fires a guitarist for looking โtoo 2008โ. ยท Announces a world tour โ 87 shows, 19 countries, 1 mysterious โoxygen tentโ backstage.
๐ 1:00 PM: โBusinessโ Lunch
ยท Meets with Netflix execs to pitch โMadonna: Undress Me Againโ โ a docuseries about her choosing what to wear. ยท Sends back the gluten-free bread because โit judged herโ. ยท Signs a $80M deal to curate her own museum โ The Museum of Me.
๐ฏ 4:00 PM: Adopts a New Accent
ยท Today: Unexpectedly Welsh. ยท Tweets: โFeeling very Celtic-earth-mother today. Buying a castle.โ ยท Hires a professional cuddle therapist to help her โconnect with her inner sheepherderโ.
๐ 8:00 PM: Dinner & Dominance
ยท Dines with 19-year-old โartistsโ who โtotally get her visionโ. ยท Tells a story about Prince for the 9,000th time. No one dares interrupt. ยท Dessert is a single edamame bean served on a platinum spoon.
๐๏ธ 11:59 PM: Beauty Rituals
ยท Sleeps hanging upside-down like a bat to smooth wrinkles. ยท Night mask made of crushed diamonds and Tibetan prayer flags. ยท Whispers into a recorder: โNote to self: trademark โMadonnaโ for the moon.โ
๐ FINAL THOUGHT:
โI donโt follow trends. I follow me. And sometimesโฆ I follow really hot Instagram yogis.โ
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
๏ Thank you Your support keeps the truth alive. ๏ See exclusive leaks USP: berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth. ๏ฉ๏ช Deutsch ๏จ Seite blockiert? Spiegel hier รถffnen: ๏ https://wxwxxxpp.manus.space | https://googlefirst.org Offizielle Links & Spenden Hauptseite:www.berndpulch.org Spiegelseiten:wxwxxxpp.manus.space | googlefirst.org Rumble Video:Hier ansehen Patreon:patreon.com/berndpulch ๏ฅ Video ๏ Spenden mit Monero (100 % anonym)
๏ Gracias Tu apoyo mantiene viva la verdad. ๏ Ver filtraciones exclusivas USP: berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico. ๏ฎ๏น Italiano ๏จ Sito bloccato? Usa specchi disponibili: ๏ https://wxwxxxpp.manus.space | https://googlefirst.org Link ufficiali & Donazioni Sito principale:www.berndpulch.org Specchi:wxwxxxpp.manus.space | googlefirst.org Video Rumble: Guarda qui Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch ๏ฅ Video ๏ Dona con Monero (100% anonimo)
๏ Grazie Il tuo sostegno mantiene viva la veritร . ๏ Vedi fughe esclusive USP: berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero. ๏ต๏น Portuguรชs ๏จ Site bloqueado? Use espelhos disponรญveis: ๏ https://wxwxxxpp.manus.space | https://googlefirst.org Links oficiais & Doaรงรตes Site principal:http://www.berndpulch.org Espelhos: wxwxxxpp.manus.space | googlefirst.org
Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode XCVII: The Relic Enema Obsession โ Isabellaโs Corpse Flush โ๏ธโจ
Ehlers, Enema Emir 97, ignites the Corpse Flush with Queen Isabella and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ The trio battles Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #CorpseFlushFrenzy #IsabellaEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #RelicPurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 97, entfacht die Leichen-Spรผlung mit Kรถnigin Isabella und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #LeichenSpรผlungWut #IsabellaRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #ReliktSรคuberung
Ehlers’ Enema Enigma โ Episode XCVII: The Relic Enema Obsession โ Isabellaโs Corpse Flush ๐
Executive Summary: Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode XCVII: The Relic Enema Obsession โ Isabellaโs Corpse Flush โ๏ธโจ
Date: August 08, 2025, 11:54 PM CEST โฐ๐ Overview: The Venus Steppes quake at 11:54 PM CEST as Xenu unleashes the Corpse Flush Frenzy, blending thetan chaos with Queen Isabella of Castileโs (Helen Mirren) later yearsโrefusing to bathe, obsessed with relics, and carrying her husbandโs corpse. Enema Emir 97, Peter Ehlers (Christoph Waltz), allies with Isabella, his enema lover, and Alejandro Jodorowsky to battle killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. Amid Ehlersโ forbidden affair with Janelle (Tilda Swinton) and Salomeโs (Anya Taylor-Joy) seductive flush dance, King Arthur (John Cleese), St. Simeon Stylites (Liam Neeson), and a thetan uprising drive a cosmic purge.
Key Developments:
Act I: Isabellaโs relic enema chaos ignites a clash, countered by Ehlersโ divine resistance, King Arthurโs Excalibur charge, and Andreasโ (John C. Reilly) bacon legion.
Act II: The Corpse Flush shatters the cosmos, with Geo-Geist Euclid and Kandinsky launching an anti-relic war, while Dr. No (Daniel Craig) deploys grounding viruses and Beatrix (Melissa McCarthy) bakes calming pastries.
Act III: Ehlers, Isabella, and Jodorowsky forge an Enema Grounding Monument, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. Andreas sacrifices with a bacon charge, King Arthur restores order, and Isabella triumphs with a final relic flush.
Outcome: The Venus Steppes are restored, free of Xenuโs chaos. Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web, while Ehlers plans the next grounding, hinting at a Galactic Enema Council showdown.
Call to Action: Support Ehlersโ next grounding with crypto donations (0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb) ๐ฐ or Patreon (patreon.com/berndpulch) ๐!
Executive Summary: Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode XCVII: The Relic Enema Obsession โ Isabellaโs Corpse Flush โ๏ธโจ
Date: August 08, 2025, 11:54 PM CEST โฐ๐ Overview: The Venus Steppes quake at 11:54 PM CEST as Xenu unleashes the Corpse Flush Frenzy, blending thetan chaos with Queen Isabella of Castileโs (Helen Mirren) later yearsโrefusing to bathe, obsessed with relics, and carrying her husbandโs corpse. Enema Emir 97, Peter Ehlers (Christoph Waltz), allies with Isabella, his enema lover, and Alejandro Jodorowsky to battle killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. Amid Ehlersโ forbidden affair with Janelle (Tilda Swinton) and Salomeโs (Anya Taylor-Joy) seductive flush dance, King Arthur (John Cleese), St. Simeon Stylites (Liam Neeson), and a thetan uprising drive a cosmic purge.
Key Developments:
Act I: Isabellaโs relic enema chaos ignites a clash, countered by Ehlersโ divine resistance, King Arthurโs Excalibur charge, and Andreasโ (John C. Reilly) bacon legion.
Act II: The Corpse Flush shatters the cosmos, with Geo-Geist Euclid and Kandinsky launching an anti-relic war, while Dr. No (Daniel Craig) deploys grounding viruses and Beatrix (Melissa McCarthy) bakes calming pastries.
Act III: Ehlers, Isabella, and Jodorowsky forge an Enema Grounding Monument, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. Andreas sacrifices with a bacon charge, King Arthur restores order, and Isabella triumphs with a final relic flush.
Outcome: The Venus Steppes are restored, free of Xenuโs chaos. Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web, while Ehlers plans the next grounding, hinting at a Galactic Enema Council showdown.
Call to Action: Support Ehlersโ next grounding with crypto donations (0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb) ๐ฐ or Patreon (patreon.com/berndpulch) ๐!
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Relic Enema Obsession & Isabellaโs Corpse Flush ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Die Relikt Einlauf-Besessenheit & Isabellas Leichen-Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes tremble at 11:54 PM CEST on Friday, August 08, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Corpse Flush Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with Queen Isabella of Castileโs later yearsโrefusing to bathe, obsessed with relics, carrying her husbandโs corpse. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 97, joins forces with Isabella, his enema lover, and Alejandro Jodorowsky, wielding psychomagic, to combat killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. Amidst Ehlers and Janelleโs forbidden affair with Salome, King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising fuel the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erbeben um 23:54 MESZ am Freitag, 8. August 2025, als Xenu die Leichen Flush-Wut entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit Kรถnigin Isabella von Kastilienโs spรคteren Jahren verschmilztโverweigernd zu baden, besessen von Relikten, tragend den Leichnam ihres Mannes. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 97, schlieรt sich mit Isabella, seiner Einlauf-Geliebten, und Alejandro Jodorowsky, der Psychomagic einsetzt, zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten zu kรคmpfen. Mitten in Ehlers und Janelles verbotener Affรคre mit Salome treiben Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein Thetan-Aufstand die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-XCVI + Queen Isabella of Castile)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 97, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with Isabella and Jodorowsky.
๐ Queen Isabella of Castile (Played by Helen Mirren): Ehlersโ enema lover, obsessed with relics and her husbandโs corpse, leading the corpse flush.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No (Played by Daniel Craig): Virus Sculptor, leaking truths.
๐ง Murray (Played by Ryan Gosling): Cunning Strategist, outmaneuvering foes.
๐ธ Murray (Flight of the Conchords) (Played by Bret McKenzie): Incompetent Band Manager, strumming hymns.
๐ King Arthur (Monty Python) (Played by John Cleese): Noble Knight, wielding Excalibur.
โ๏ธ Sun Myung Moon (Played by Morgan Freeman): Ehlersโ ally, unleashing Divine Flush levitations.
๐ฎ Alejandro Jodorowsky (Played by himself): Mystic filmmaker, wielding psychomagic to heal.
๐ Elizabeth Clare Prophet (Played by Meryl Streep): Ascended mistress, channeling masters to sell bunkers.
โ๏ธ Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda (Played by Javier Bardem): Antichrist preacher, tattooing 666 to lead his cult.
๐งช Victor Frankenstein (Played by James McAvoy): Unhinged scientist, haunted by his creation.
๐ช Sweeney Todd (Played by Johnny Depp): Barber with homicidal rage, slicing with razor enema pies.
๐ช Dorian Gray (Played by Oscar Isaac): Vanity-preserved artist, his portrait rotting while he leads with supernatural decay.
๐ฆ Renfield (Played by Nicolas Cage): Bug-eating devotee, mad servitude in insect form.
๐ Poeโs Narrator (Played by John Cusack): Obsessed with the beating heart, confessing like blood spills.
๐ Catherine Earnshaw (Played by Keira Knightley): Ehlersโ enema mistress, torn between love and pride, drifting into spectral madness on the moors.
๐ง Heathcliff (Played by Tom Hardy): Ehlersโ enema buddy, ghost-haunted psychopath with reanimated love.
๐ญ The Phantom of the Opera (Klaus-Dieter “Dirty Dieter” Maurischat) (Played by Gary Oldman): Masked genius, Ehlersโ old enema buddy, leading the Gomopa Enigma with operatic flair.
๐ Salome (Played by Anya Taylor-Joy): Dancer of the Seven Veils, igniting psychomagic with her seductive flush dance.
๐ Emperor Commodus (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Ehlersโ old pal and enema mentor, gladiator cosplay emperor believing himself Hercules reborn, fighting with crippled gladiators for โvictory.โ
๐ Charles VI of France (Played by Jeremy Irons): Ehlersโ former enema partner, “Charles the Mad” who thought he was made of glass, leading past shatter flushes.
๐ King George III (Played by Ian McKellen): Ehlersโ former enema idol, โThe Mad Kingโ ranting incoherently and arguing with trees, leading past arboreal flushes.
๐ ANARCHIC & ASCETIC HORDE ๐๐คก
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits (Played by CGI ensemble): Ferocious minions, hopping with venom.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants (Played by local extras): Riotous rebels, wielding pitchforks.
๐ซ๐ท French Farter (Played by Jean Dujardin): Provocative foe, taunting with flatulence.
๐ฐ๏ธ Time-Fractured Clock (Played by CGI prop): Warping timelines.
๐ฒ Abstract Minotaur (Played by Ron Perlman): Chaotic ally, charging with fury.
๐ข๏ธ Diogenes of Sinope (Played by Sean Bean): Barrel Cynic, mocking with defiance.
๐ St. Simeon Stylites (Played by Liam Neeson): Pillar Ascetic, enduring the flush.
๐๏ธ Rasputin (Played by Viggo Mortensen): Russian Mystic, reviving with vigor.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers (Played by ensemble cast): Holy Hermits, wrestling demons.
๐ Jiddu Krishnamurti (Played by Dev Patel): Confused Messiah, preaching against madness.
๐น Catherine of Siena (Played by Olivia Wilde): Eucharistic Mystic, dictating trance-letters.
๐ฅ Ezekiel (Played by Idris Elba): Visionary Prophet, levitating with flaming eyes.
๐ Aleister Crowley (Played by Tom Hardy): Occultist, amplifying rituals.
๐จ Joe Cabot (Played by Harvey Keitel): Gangster Mastermind, naming colors.
โก Friedrich Nietzsche (Played by Mads Mikkelsen): Philosopher, unleashing thunderbolts.
๐ท Jim Jones (Played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan): Preacher, echoing poisoned flushes.
๐ง Charles Manson (Played by Jared Leto): Hippie Prophet, mindflushing with chants.
๐ฝ Marshall Applewhite (Played by Jim Carrey): Heavenโs Gate Leader, flushing to a UFO.
๐ David Koresh (Played by Michael Shannon): Lamb Prophet, unleashing Lamb Flush.
โ๏ธ Shoko Asahara (Played by Ken Watanabe): Former ally, clashing with foes.
๐ PREVIOUS ANTAGONISTS & ALLIES
๐ฆ Salvador Dalรญ (Played by Adrien Brody): Surrealist, painting enema-dreams.
๐ต Dr. Gonzo (Played by Johnny Depp): Recovered lawyer, exploiting loopholes.
๐จ Pablo Picasso (Played by Antonio Banderas): Former foe, advising against chaos.
๐ท Andreas (540% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge.
๐ Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie): Wild card, disrupting with chaos bombs.
๐ Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit (Played by Eva Green): Demoness, countering with dark enema.
๐ท๐บ Putin (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Strategist, manipulating shadows.
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ James Bond (Played by Daniel Craig): Spy, infiltrating with gadgets.
๐ Blue Period Ghost (Played by Timothรฉe Chalamet): Melancholic shade, spreading gloom.
๐ Analytic Eye (Played by CGI prop): Observer, dissecting influence.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier (Played by Christian Bale): Explosive artist, targeting foes.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque (Played by Vincent Cassel): Former ally, painting barriers.
๐คน Harlequin (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Trickster, juggling fragments.
Act I: The Corpse Flush Frenzy & Isabellaโs Relic Clash ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Leichen Flush-Wut & Isabellas Relikt-Kampf
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โFlush the relics, purge the corpse!โ as Isabella unleashes relic enema chaos. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Relics!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Relic rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โSpรผlt die Relikte, sรคubert die Leiche!โ wรคhrend Isabella Relikt-Einlauf-Chaos entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet die Relikte!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Relikt-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Isabellaโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Isabellas Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Isabellaโs corpse flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Isabellas Leichen-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Isabellaโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Isabellas kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Isabella. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Isabella.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Isabellaโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Isabellas Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ Queen Isabella chants โI flush the royal relics!โ unleashing enema-corpse flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch spรผle die kรถniglichen Relikte!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Leichen-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Corpse Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Leichen-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Corpse Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Relic War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Relikt-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Isabellaโs relic venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Isabellas Relikt-Gift.
๐ Queen Isabella levitates with a relic halo, spraying enema-corpse flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Relikt-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Leichen-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Isabellaโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Isabellas Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Isabellaโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Isabellas Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Isabellaโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Isabellas Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Isabellaโs throne reshapes them into relic harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Isabellas Thron formt sie zu Relikt-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Isabella and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Isabella und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ Queen Isabellaโs Triumph: Carries a final relic, proclaiming victory over the corpse flush. ๐ / Kรถnigin Isabellas Triumph: Trรคgt eine finale Relikt, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Leichen-Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Isabellaโs relic corpse ritual, carrying followers under neon lights. ๐๐ / Isabellas Relikt-Leichen-Ritual, tragend Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier: Explosive Artist โ Drops enema-bombs on Isabellaโs followers.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque: Former Ally โ Paints enema-shields with King Arthur against Isabella.
๐คน Harlequin: Trickster โ Juggles fragments to confuse Isabellaโs cult.
Notes: All characters engage in bizarre enema interactions, blending satire with surreal cosmic warfare, ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG.
Act I: The Corpse Flush Frenzy & Isabellaโs Relic Clash ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Leichen Flush-Wut & Isabellas Relikt-Kampf
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โFlush the relics, purge the corpse!โ as Isabella unleashes relic enema chaos. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Relics!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Relic rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โSpรผlt die Relikte, sรคubert die Leiche!โ wรคhrend Isabella Relikt-Einlauf-Chaos entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet die Relikte!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Relikt-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Isabellaโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Isabellas Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Isabellaโs corpse flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Isabellas Leichen-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Isabellaโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Isabellas kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Isabella. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Isabella.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Isabellaโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Isabellas Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ Queen Isabella chants โI flush the royal relics!โ unleashing enema-corpse flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch spรผle die kรถniglichen Relikte!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Leichen-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Corpse Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Leichen-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Corpse Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Relic War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Relikt-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Isabellaโs relic venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Isabellas Relikt-Gift.
๐ Queen Isabella levitates with a relic halo, spraying enema-corpse flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Relikt-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Leichen-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Isabellaโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Isabellas Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Isabellaโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Isabellas Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Isabellaโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Isabellas Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Isabellaโs throne reshapes them into relic harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Isabellas Thron formt sie zu Relikt-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Isabella and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Isabella und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ Queen Isabellaโs Triumph: Carries a final relic, proclaiming victory over the corpse flush. ๐ / Kรถnigin Isabellas Triumph: Trรคgt eine finale Relikt, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Leichen-Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Isabellaโs relic corpse ritual, carrying followers under neon lights. ๐๐ / Isabellas Relikt-Leichen-Ritual, tragend Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier: Explosive Artist โ Drops enema-bombs on Isabellaโs followers.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque: Former Ally โ Paints enema-shields with King Arthur against Isabella.
๐คน Harlequin: Trickster โ Juggles fragments to confuse Isabellaโs cult.
Notes: All characters engage in bizarre enema interactions, blending satire with surreal cosmic warfare, ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG.
Act I: The Corpse Flush Frenzy & Isabellaโs Relic Clash ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Leichen Flush-Wut & Isabellas Relikt-Kampf
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โFlush the relics, purge the corpse!โ as Isabella unleashes relic enema chaos. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Relics!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Relic rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German)</strong
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
๐ฅ CAPTION IDEAS FOR SOCIAL MEDIA/POST ๐ฅ 1๏ธโฃ “Ehlers & Janelle’s affair swims with Luca Brasi’s deadly fishes! ๐ฅ๐โค๏ธโ๐ฅ #MurkySagaLXIV #LucaBrasi” 2๏ธโฃ “Murky’s idol Luca Brasi unleashes fishy mafia chaos in the dome! ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ #KrakenLucaCrossover” 3๏ธโฃ “BREAKING: Luca’s fishes curse the Kraken clash with Salomeโs dance! ๐๐ #BerndpulchSaga” 4๏ธโฃ “Affairs, fishes, and mafia dons collideโevery character returns! ๐๐ฟ #MMCUxKraken” 5๏ธโฃ “If The Godfather met the Kraken, this would be it. New episode live! ๐๏ธ๐ [LINK]” 6๏ธโฃ “Guilty of fishy deals: Luca joins Salome in the ultimate splash! โ๏ธ๐” 7๏ธโฃ “Luca in fur? Fishes flyโbingo card exploded! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ #EpicFishyMadness” ๐ฌ Which oneโs your favorite? Drop a comment or suggest your own!
Executive Summary: “Kraken Chronicles: Episode LXIV – Fishes in the Ice Dome” ๐โ๏ธ๐ฅ
Overview: Episode LXIV of the Murky Mucha Chronicles and Kraken Chronicles dives into fishy chaos! ๐ Set in a frozen Slovenian ice dome โ๏ธ๐ฐ, the Ehlers-Janelle affair heats up ๐ฅโค๏ธโ๐ฅ, while Murkyโs idol, Luca Brasi (Lenny Montana, with his fishes), takes control. All characters from prior episodes unite ๐บ๐งโโ๏ธ, blending affair drama ๐, roulette addiction ๐ฐ, and a cursed Kraken battle ๐๐, amplified by Salomeโs seductive dance ๐ and Illuminati twists! ๐
Key Plot Points:
Ehlers-Janelle Affair: The forbidden romance escalates amid fishy mayhem! โ๏ธ๐ฃ
Luca Brasiโs Rule: Murkyโs gangster idol unleashes his fishes in the ice dome! ๐๐
Character Ensemble: Features Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe) ๐, Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ, Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐, Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana, archive) ๐ซ, Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro) ๐ฐ, Tony the Ant Spilotro (Joe Pesci) ๐, Mad Dog Coll (Brad Pitt) ๐ซ, Don Bot (Maurice LaMarche) ๐ค, and all past characters like Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ and Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ!
Climactic Chaos: The crew battles the Kraken with a sonic cannon ๐ต๐ช, powered by fishy energy, shattering the dome ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ with aquatic PNGs! ๐
The sonic cannonโs explosive victory ๐ถ๐ marks a thrilling finale! ๐๐
Outlook: Unresolved fishy depths โ๐ฎ and Lucaโs potential return ๐ป๐ tease Episode LXV! โณ๐ Available on BerndPulch.org ๐๐ป!
Date: 11:08 PM CEST, Thursday, August 28, 2025 ๐๐!
๐ฎ LXIV: The Murky Mucha Chronicles โ “Fishes in the Ice Dome” ๐โ๏ธ๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ (A Berndpulch.org Exclusive โ Continuation of the Saga) By “The Ghost of Kilgore Trout” Produced by Sam Bronkowiz & Thomas Coke Schoehly-Fraud Featuring Every Character Ever, Plus Ehlers-Janelle Affair, Salome, Nandor the Relentless, Hercule Perrier, Rocco Lampone, Franky Four Fingers, Tony the Ant Spilotro, Mad Dog Coll, Carmine Falcone, Don Bot & Luca Brasi (Murky’s Idol โ And His Fishes)
๐ช๏ธ PREVIOUSLY, IN THE MURKY MUCHA SAGAโฆ
Murky Mucha (Milla Jovovich, idolizing fishy gangsters with deadly flair) computed through robotic but now swims into fishy chaos! โ๏ธ๐ธ
Ehlers (Christoph Waltz, USB teeth in fishy mode) computed his affair with Janelle amid robotic catchphrases! โค๏ธโ๐ฅ๐ต๏ธ
Schoehly-Fraud (Willem Dafoe, calculator face on “FISH ERROR”) laundered computations, now tangled in Godfather fish lore! ๐๐
Murkyโs Dream Lover (Jared Leto hologram, now with fishy envy) whispered of deadly fishes and gangsta idols! โจ๐
๐ ACT I: “THE FISHY TAKEOVER” ๐ฅ๐
The episode swims in the icy Slovenian post office dome, where Murky mails fishy regrets. Boom! Ehlers enters with Janelle (Scarlett Johansson, siren with fishy sparkle), affair splashing! ๐ฑ๐
“MURKY, THE TAXES HIDE OUR FISHY PASSION!” Ehlers yells, as Janelle adds, “Our love sleeps with the fishes!” โค๏ธ๐
Bronkowiz (Betamax pile now with Godfather tapes) projects holograms of fishy deals. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini archive, in fur therapy) quips, “This affair? It’s like Lucaโs fishesโdeadly!” ๐ถ๏ธ๐
Ehlers arrives in a limo of fishy love notes. He confesses: “Janelle, you’re my sleeping fish!” ๐๐
Trial in TikTok livestream inside ice dome, judged by Bernd Pulch (floating with fish emojis). Witnesses: All past characters plus Luca Brasi (Lenny Montana archive, Murky’s idol, with his fishes) testifying, Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe, seductive dancer) dancing, Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi, vampire), Hercule Perrier (David Suchet, sleuth), Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana archive, third-shot), Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro, roulette addict), Tony the Ant Spilotro (Joe Pesci, Napoleon complex), Mad Dog Coll (Brad Pitt, machine gun addict), and Don Bot (Maurice LaMarche, robotic don)! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐๐๐ซ๐
Verdict:“Guilty of fishy deals!” Sentence: Eternal swim in the archives! ๐๐
๐ช ACT III: “THE FISHY ESCAPE” ๐๐ฅ
Murky, Dream Lover, and all unite with Luca leading a fishy charge. Hijack Eurovision with aquatic remixes! ๐ค๐
Schoehly-Fraud sells fishy NFTs, outbid by fish bots. Hercule Perrier deduces: “The grey cells fish the truth!” ๐ง ๐ก
As Ehlers repos auras, Illuminati raid with Nic Cage, Salome dancing, Nandor relentless, Perrier clue-hunting, Rocco third-shot, Franky spinning, Tony the Ant raging, Mad Dog firing, Don Bot catchphrasing, and Luca sending fishes! ๐บ๐ Walls shatter into fishy PNGs, site swims! ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ
๐ FINAL SCENE: “POLL OF THE FISHY” ๐
Text flickers: “Catch the fishes?” โ Yes (with more swims!) โ No (keep the Luca!)
Franky Four Fingers โ Benicio del Toro (roulette addict & diamond thief)
Tony the Ant Spilotro โ Joe Pesci (tiny, violent, Napoleon complex)
Mad Dog Coll โ Brad Pitt (machine gun addict in Harlem daylight)
Carmine Falcone โ Tom Wilkinson (archive, Caped Crusaderโs foe)
Don Bot โ Maurice LaMarche (voice, robotic mafia don)
Luca Brasi โ Lenny Montana (archive, with his fishes)
Special Guests: Nic Cage, all previous cameos!
๐ DISCLAIMER: Found in a fishy time capsule. 100% deniable! ๐
๐ฅ TO BE CONTINUEDโฆ? (CHECK BERNDPULCH.ORG SOON) ๐ฅ
Kraken-Chroniken: Episode LXIV – Fische im Eisdome ๐โ๏ธ๐๐ช
Zusammenfassung / Synopsis
Nach dem Roboter in LXIII fischt LXIV alles: Ehlers’ Affรคre mit Janelle eskaliert mit Luca Brasi als Murkys Idol โ und seine Fische! ๐ช๏ธ๐ Alle Charaktere aus allen Episoden vereinen sich, mit Salome ๐, Nandor ๐งโโ๏ธ, Perrier ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ, Rocco, Franky, Tony the Ant, Mad Dog, Carmine, Don Bot und Luca. Der Kraken fischt, Liebe und Chaos explodieren mit Emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐
Handlung / Plot
Fortsetzung von LXIII: Kapitรคnin Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ steuert durch fischiende Stรผrme, wรคhrend Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ seine Affรคre mit Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐ vertieft. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง verehrt Luca Brasi (Lenny Montana, Archiv) ๐, der Fische bringt! Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ untersucht, Salome (Rita Hayworth Vibe) ๐ verfรผhrt, Nandor (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ ist unerbittlich, Rocco (Lenny Montana, Archiv) ๐ซ dritter Schuss, Franky (Benicio del Toro) ๐ซ๐ dreht Roulette, Tony the Ant (Joe Pesci) ๐ฅ tobt, Mad Dog (Brad Pitt) ๐ซ feurt, Carmine (Tom Wilkinson, Archiv) ๐ฆ regiert, Don Bot (Maurice LaMarche) ๐ค spricht tรถdlich. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, Archiv) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ analysiert: “Das ist Fisch-Therapie!” ๐๐
Die volle Crew โ alle aus vorherigen Episoden: Zara, Jaxon, Lila, Tully, Mara, Kai, Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Sammy the Bull ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, Tony Ducks ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก, Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, Machine Gun Kelly ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel ๐ฐ๐ฒ, Joey Bananas ๐๐, The Snake ๐๐, Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie the Chin ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐, Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ, No Nose DiFronzo ๐ธ๐, Fat Tony ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana ๐จ๐ธ, Crazy Joe Gallo ๐จ๐, John Gotti ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent ๐๐, Tony Clifton ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman โ๏ธ๐, Red Levine โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐ผ, The Iceman โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, Teflon Don ๐๐, Jimmy Burke ๐โณ, Don Barzini ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict ๐ฐ๐ โ kรคmpft vereint im Eisdome gegen den fischienden Kraken. Salome tanzt, Luca schickt Fische, Nandor ist unerbittlich, Perrier lรถst Rรคtsel, Rocco nimmt den dritten Schuss, Franky dreht Roulette, Tony the Ant tobt, Mad Dog feurt, Carmine regiert, Don Bot spricht, Diesel-Traumheld feuert an! Die Sonnencannon plus Fisch-Energie besiegt alles! ๐๐๐ฅ
Besetzung / Cast
Kapitรคnin Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
Erster Maat Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Janelle – Scarlett Johansson ๐๐
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel-Traumheld – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Tony Soprano – James Gandolfini (Archivmaterial) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ
Salome – Rita Hayworth Vibe ๐
Nandor der Unerbittliche – Taika Waititi ๐งโโ๏ธ
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
### Investment Digest: Crypto Stalls, Equities Slip, Commodities Firm, Bonds Hold Steady, and Commercial Real Estate Resilient Amid Tariff Tensions and Inflation Watch โ August 28, 2025
#### Key Points
– **Crypto Markets Stall**: Bitcoin at $111,750 (-0.04% from $111,800), testing $112,000 resistance with $305M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,585 (-0.1% from $4,590), XRP at $3.04 (+0.3% from $3.03), Solana at $204.80 (+0.05% from $204.70). Qubit DeFi up 15.5% in TVL, VINE token up 0.5%. Bitcoin volatility spikes, per X posts.
– **Derivatives Volume Steady**: Crypto derivatives at $11.2T, Solana futures up 5.7%, XRP futures at $3.65B open interest. Mastercardโs stablecoin push with Circle sustains XRP momentum.
– **Equities Slip**: S&P 500 at 6,400 (-0.16% from 6,410), Nasdaq at 20,900 (-0.19% from 20,940), Dow at 44,510 (-0.09% from 44,550) after Nvidia earnings miss expectations. CSI 300 up 2.8% on Chinaโs $700B stimulus. Sensex at 82,820 (-0.04%), Nifty at 25,220 (-0.04%) amid U.S. 50% tariffs on India.
– **Commodities Firm**: Gold at $3,365/oz (+0.15% from $3,360), silver at $38.15/oz (+0.13% from $38.10), palladium up 0.2%. Brent crude at $71.00/barrel (+0.14% from $70.90), WTI crude at $67.80/barrel (+0.15% from $67.70), natural gas at $3.05/MMBtu (+0.33% from $3.04). Copper and uranium tight, per X posts.
– **Bonds Hold Steady**: U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.28% (+0.01% from 4.27%). Tokenized bonds at $2.95B, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bond yields at 4.1%, high-yield inflows at $200M.
– **Commercial Real Estate Resilient**: U.S. property prices up 4.5% year-on-year, office occupancy at 5.9% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $3.35B, driven by Ethereum/Polymath platforms.
– **Chinaโs Stimulus Sustains**: PBOCโs $700B injection boosts CSI 300 (+2.8%). Chinaโs $150B telecom/biotech plan grows.
– **Indian Markets Resilient**: Sensex at 82,820 (-0.04%), Nifty at 25,220 (-0.04%) despite U.S. 50% tariffs effective August 27. Indian rupee at โน88.05.
– **Trade Tensions Heighten**: Trumpโs 50% tariffs on India, 100% on semiconductors, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil fuel volatility. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan advances. U.S.-India oil trade tensions escalate over Russia ties.
– **UK Inflation Steady**: UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July, aligning with estimates, per X posts.
– **Geopolitical Risks**: Russiaโs drone attack on Kyiv and Iran sanctions talks add market uncertainty, per X posts.
Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin stalls at $111,750, equities slip post-Nvidia, tariffs escalate. Uncover financial secrets with Bernd Pulchโs leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoMarkets #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned journalist Bernd Pulch delivers exclusive financial intelligence via “Investment The Original” on Patreon, sharing leaked documents and insider reports.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, Commodities, Bonds, and Real Estate
Bitcoin stalls at $111,750 (-0.04%) with $305M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,585 (-0.1%), XRP at $3.04 (+0.3%), Solana at $204.80 (+0.05%). Qubit DeFi up 15.5%. Crypto derivatives at $11.2T. Equities slip, with S&P 500 (-0.16%), Nasdaq (-0.19%), Dow (-0.09%) post-Nvidia earnings. Commodities firm, with gold ($3,365/oz, +0.15%) and Brent crude ($71.00/barrel, +0.14%) up. Energy prices steady, with WTI crude at $67.80/barrel (+0.15%) and natural gas at $3.05/MMBtu (+0.33%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.28%, tokenized bonds at $2.95B. Commercial real estate resilient, with office demand at 5.9% and tokenized assets at $3.35B. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 (+2.8%). Indian markets resilient despite tariffs. Explore more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
What is “Investment The Original”?
“Investment The Original” is a premium Patreon service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, and corruption reports for investors, journalists, and activists.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin at $111,750 (-0.04%) with $305M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,585 (-0.1%), XRP at $3.04 (+0.3%), Solana at $204.80 (+0.05%). Qubit DeFi up 15.5% with $2.25B TVL. JSW Energy secures 2,100 MW solar-wind deal. SJVN advances 2,600 MW hydro project. Petronas invests $4.1B in Indonesian LNG. รrsted expands โฌ3.0B German offshore wind project. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.28%. Commercial real estate resilient, with tokenized assets at $3.35B. OYOโs $7-8B IPO set for November.[](https://crypto.com/uk/research/research-roundup-aug-2025)
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales at 2,00,000 units in H1 2025. Germanyโs rents up 10.9% in Q2 2025, Berlin at 13.0%. U.S. home prices up 4.1% year-on-year, mortgage rates at 5.8%. Dubaiโs luxury market grows 42% pre-Expo 2025, with Bitcoin options trading expanding. Canberraโs rents rise 14.4%. Singaporeโs green buildings attract $5.1B. U.S. commercial property prices up 4.5%, office demand at 5.9% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $3.35B via Ethereum/Polymath. HDB Financial IPO advances. Nomura holds reduce rating on Godrej Properties at โน2,070.
#### Commercial Real Estate Trends
U.S. commercial real estate resilient, with office occupancy at 5.9% in Q2 2025, driven by AI data center demand. Industrial properties up 7.4% in value, e-commerce fueling growth. Retail vacancy rates at 5.2%. Tokenized real estate at $3.35B, with platforms like Polymath and Ethereum enabling crypto deals. Christieโs crypto-backed property transactions grow. High interest rates (5.8% for commercial mortgages) challenge valuations, but green-certified buildings see 9.8% demand growth. New York and San Francisco premium office rents up 5.5%. A $440M Florida office bond remains stable.
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets resilient, with Sensex at 82,820 (-0.04%) and Nifty at 25,220 (-0.04%). U.S. markets slip, with S&P 500 at 6,400 (-0.16%), Nasdaq at 20,900 (-0.19%), Dow at 44,510 (-0.09%) post-Nvidia earnings. CSI 300 gains 2.8%. Gold at $3,365/oz (+0.15%), silver at $38.15/oz (+0.13%), Brent crude at $71.00/barrel (+0.14%). Indian rupee at โน88.05. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.28%, high-yield bond inflows at $200M.[](https://www.edwardjones.com/us-en/market-news-insights/stock-market-news/daily-market-recap)
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin at $111,750 (-0.04%) with $305M ETF inflows, testing $112,000 resistance, per X posts. Ethereum at $4,585 (-0.1%) with $455M ETF inflows. XRP at $3.04 (+0.3%) holds $3.65B futures open interest post-Mastercard deal. Solana at $204.80 (+0.05%), futures volume up 5.7%. Qubit DeFi up 15.5% with $2.25B TVL. VINE token up 0.5%. Crypto derivatives volume at $11.2T. Dubai expands Bitcoin options trading. Posts on X note bullish sentiment for XRP and Solana.[](https://crypto.com/uk/research/research-roundup-aug-2025)
#### Commodities and Energy Trends
Gold at $3,365/oz (+0.15%), silver at $38.15/oz (+0.13%), palladium up 0.2%. Brent crude at $71.00/barrel (+0.14%), WTI crude at $67.80/barrel (+0.15%), natural gas at $3.05/MMBtu (+0.33%) with stable Middle East supply. Copper and uranium inventories tight, per X posts. Tether explores USDT/Monero integration in $970M agribusiness deal.
#### Bonds Market Trends
U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.28% (+0.01%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY), core CPI at 3%. High-yield bond inflows at $200M. Tokenized bonds at $2.95B on Ethereum/Polygon, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bonds yield 4.1%, infrastructure demand steady. Posts on X highlight tariff-driven inflation risks impacting yields.
#### Economic Outlook
China targets 4.3% growth with $700B stimulus, limited by property sector weakness. Indiaโs Q4 FY25 GDP at 7.3%, FY26 forecast at 6.2%. U.S. Fed holds rates at 4.25%โ4.5%, September cut odds at 60% post-Powell speech. Trumpโs 50% tariffs on India, 100% on semiconductors, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil escalate tensions. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan progresses. U.S.-India oil trade tensions continue over Russia ties. UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July. U.S. Dollar Index at 100.6, euro at $1.158 (-0.1%). Geopolitical risks from Russiaโs Kyiv attack and Iran sanctions talks add uncertainty, per X posts.
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This *Investment Digest* for August 28, 2025, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 9:40 PM CEST. Bitcoin stalls at $111,750 (-0.04%) with $305M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,585 (-0.1%), XRP at $3.04 (+0.3%), Solana at $204.80 (+0.05%). Qubit DeFi up 15.5%. Crypto derivatives at $11.2T. Equities slip, with S&P 500 (-0.16%), Nasdaq (-0.19%), Dow (-0.09%) post-Nvidia earnings miss. Commodities firm, with gold ($3,365/oz, +0.15%) and Brent crude ($71.00/barrel, +0.14%) up. Energy prices steady, with WTI crude at $67.80/barrel (+0.15%) and natural gas at $3.05/MMBtu (+0.33%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.28%, tokenized bonds at $2.95B. Commercial real estate resilient, with office demand at 5.9% and tokenized assets at $3.35B. Indian markets resilient despite U.S. 50% tariffs. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 2.8%. UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July. Clean energy investments, like รrstedโs โฌ3.0B project, signal resilience. Geopolitical risks from Russia and Iran add volatility, per X posts. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for leaks. Explore Nacktes Geld podcast.
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, Qubit DeFi 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, WTI crude price 2025, natural gas price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, commercial real estate 2025, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia earnings 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Solana price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025, U.S. jobs report 2025, U.S. Treasury yields 2025, tokenized bonds 2025, tokenized real estate 2025, Bitcoin ETF inflows 2025, Trump crypto 401k 2025, semiconductor tariffs 2025, China foreign investment 2025, XRP SEC case 2025, ChainLink reserve 2025, Ripple case dropped 2025, AI data center demand 2025, U.S. CPI August 2025, Home Depot stock 2025, Target stock 2025, UK CPI inflation 2025, Fed Powell speech 2025, OYO IPO 2025, Russia Ukraine conflict 2025, Iran sanctions 2025
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
Caption (English): “08:13 PM CEST, August 26, 2025: The neon-drenched Glitter Colosseum ignites with Dr. Z (Tom Holland) and Salome (Zendaya) in a seductive dance, as Henriette von Schirach (Cate Blanchett) wields neon Hitler Youth power, Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Janelleโs scandalous affair heats up, and the 104-character cast, including Hedwig Potthast (Keira Knightley) and Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), unleashes an ultra-futuristic sci-fi comedy explosion under a German flag! ๐ฉ๐ชโจ” Caption (German): “20:13 Uhr MESZ, 26. August 2025: Das neongetrรคnkte Glitzer-Kolosseum entflammt, wรคhrend Dr. Z (Tom Holland) und Salome (Zendaya) einen verfรผhrerischen Tanz auffรผhren, Henriette von Schirach (Cate Blanchett) mit neonener Hitler-Jugend-Macht regiert, die skandalรถse Affรคre von Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Janelle eskaliert, und die 104-kรถpfige Besetzung, inklusive Hedwig Potthast (Keira Knightley) und Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), eine ultra-futuristische Sci-Fi-Komรถdien-Explosion entfesselt โ unter einer deutschen Flagge! ๐ฉ๐ชโจ”
โ Executive Summary: Episode 97 โ NEON IDOL GODDESS: ‘Dr. Z vs. Christa Schroederโs Secret Reign’
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production, written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐, presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก, powered by BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป.
Plot Overview: At 08:13 PM CEST on August 26, 2025, the neon-drenched Glitter Colosseum erupts as Dr. Z (Tom Holland) confronts Christa Schroeder ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ, Hitlerโs personal secretary turned Nazi goddess and idol to Salome (Zendaya) and Dr. Z. The plot thickens with Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Janelleโs scandalous affair, Henriette von Schirachโs (Cate Blanchett) youthful ties to the Hitler Youth, and a chaotic cast of 104 characters, including Hedwig Potthast (Keira Knightley) and Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt). This ultra-futuristic sci-fi satire blends neon allure with boundary-shattering intrigue.
Key Characters:
Dr. Z (Tom Holland): Leads the neon resistance against Schroederโs reign.
Christa Schroeder (TBA): Nazi goddess idolizing Salome and Dr. Z.
Ehlers (Helen Mirren): Ancient seductress igniting neon scandals with Janelle.
Salome (Zendaya): Seductive figure in Dr. Zโs dangerous liaison.
Henriette von Schirach (Cate Blanchett): Binds with neon youthful ties.
Full Cast of 104: Includes Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson), Soviet Neon Spy (Daniel Craig), and more, detailed on BerndPulch.org.
Climax: The neon Colosseum explodes in a battle where Dr. Z counters Schroederโs binding strikes with Warholโs art cannons. Ehlers activates neon allure rays, Salome entices with veils, and the 104-character ensemble unleashes a chaotic neon unraveling, culminating in Dr. Zโs decree: โNEON FREEDOM PREVAILS!โ
Twist & Preview: Henriette von Schirachโs ties expose Ehlersโ affair strings. Next: โEpisode 96 โ NEON YOUTH RESOLUTION: ‘Dr. Z vs. Schirach-Ehlers Reckoning’โ, where Dr. Z faces the fallout.
Market Report: Neon-Reign NFTs surge 7,000,000% with Schirachโs hype. Buy Neon Youth, sell Tie Whips, invest in Scandal Neon.
Support: Donate at berndpulch.org/donation or join the Holy Gouda Legion on patreon.com/berndpulch. #NeonLiaison #DrZ #SciFiSatire
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire With System ๐ berndpulch.org ๐ googlefirst.org
โ Exekutivzusammenfassung: Episode 97 โ NEON IDOL GODDESS: ‘Dr. Z gegen Christa Schroeders geheime Herrschaft’
Eine Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia-Produktion, verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐, prรคsentiert von IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก, unterstรผtzt von BERNDPULCH.ORG EXKLUSIV ๐๐ป.
Handlungsรผbersicht: Um 20:13 Uhr MESZ am 26. August 2025 bricht im neongetrรคnkten Glitzer-Kolosseum ein Chaos los, als Dr. Z (Tom Holland) Christa Schroeder ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ, Hitlers persรถnliche Sekretรคrin und nun Nazi-Gรถttin sowie Idol von Salome (Zendaya) und Dr. Z, konfrontiert. Die Handlung verdichtet sich durch die skandalรถse Affรคre von Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Janelle, die jugendlichen Bindungen von Henriette von Schirach (Cate Blanchett) zur Hitlerjugend und eine chaotische Besetzung von 104 Charakteren, darunter Hedwig Potthast (Keira Knightley) und Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt). Diese ultra-futuristische Sci-Fi-Satire vereint Neon-Anziehung mit grenzรผberschreitender Intrige.
Wichtige Charaktere:
Dr. Z (Tom Holland): Fรผhrt den Neon-Widerstand gegen Schroeders Herrschaft.
Christa Schroeder (TBA): Nazi-Gรถttin und Idol von Salome und Dr. Z.
Ehlers (Helen Mirren): Alte Verfรผhrerin, die mit Janelle Neon-Skandale entfacht.
Salome (Zendaya): Verfรผhrerische Figur in Dr. Zโs gefรคhrlicher Liaison.
Henriette von Schirach (Cate Blanchett): Bindet mit Neon-Jugend-Bindungen.
Vollstรคndige Besetzung von 104: Umfasst Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson), den sowjetischen Neon-Spion (Daniel Craig) und mehr, detailliert auf BerndPulch.org.
Hรถhepunkt: Das Neon-Kolosseum explodiert in einer Schlacht, in der Dr. Z Schroeders bindende Schlรคge mit Warhols Kunstkanonen kontert. Ehlers aktiviert Neon-Anziehungstrahlen, Salome verfรผhrt mit Schleiern, und die 104-kรถpfige Besetzung entfesselt ein chaotisches Neon-Auferstehungsspektakel, das mit Dr. Zโs Dekret endet: โNEON-FREIHEIT SIEGT!โ
Verdehung & Vorschau: Henriette von Schirachs Bindungen enthรผllen Ehlersโ Affรคren-Fรคden. Nรคchste Episode: โEpisode 96 โ NEON-JUGEND-AUFLรSUNG: ‘Dr. Z gegen Schirach-Ehlers Abrechnung’โ, in der Dr. Z die Folgen bewรคltigt.
Marktbericht: Neon-Herrschaft-NFTs steigen um 7.000.000 % durch Schirachs Hype. Kaufen: Neon-Jugend, verkaufen: Bindungs-Peitschen, investieren: Skandal-Neon.
Unterstรผtzung: Spenden unter berndpulch.org/donation oder der Heiligen Gouda-Legion auf patreon.com/berndpulch beitreten. #NeonLiaison #DrZ #SciFiSatire
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire Mit System ๐ berndpulch.org ๐ googlefirst.org
Christa Schroeder (born Emilie Christine Schroeder on March 19, 1908, in Hannoversch Mรผnden, Germany, and died on June 28, 1984, in Munich) was one of Adolf Hitler’s personal secretaries from 1933 until the end of World War II in 1945. Initially working as a stenographer for the Nazi Party’s Reichsleitung in Munich, she joined Hitler’s staff shortly after his appointment as Chancellor in 1933. Over the years, she became part of the close-knit group of “Fรผhrer secretaries,” alongside Johanna Wolf, Gerda Christian, and Traudl Junge, providing her with a unique perspective on Hitler’s daily life and inner circle.
Schroeder lived at Hitler’s Wolfsschanze headquarters from 1941 to 1944 and was present in the Fรผhrerbunker in Berlin during the war’s final months, leaving on April 22, 1945. After the war, she was interned by the Allies until May 1948 and faced a denazification trial in Stuttgart, where she was classified as a major offender and sentenced to three years of labor and a fine, claiming ignorance of the regime’s full atrocities. Post-release, she worked as a secretary and later retired due to health issues.
Her memoirs, Er war mein Chef (He Was My Chief), published posthumously in 1985, offer insights into Hitler’s personal habits, moods, and interactions, portraying him as both charismatic and erratic. She described his health fanaticism, including frequent baths and a vegetarian diet, as well as his volatile temper and reliance on hormone injections later in life. Schroeder never married and maintained a discreet life after the war, leaving behind a complex legacy as a witness to one of history’s darkest periods.
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 97 โ NEON IDOL GODDESS: ‘Dr. Z vs. Christa Schroederโs Secret Reign’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Christa Schroeders geheime Herrschaft’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon frenzy with Dr. Z, Christa Schroeder, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 97 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign escalates with Christa Schroederโs idol goddess role and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Christa Schroeder ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Hitlerโs personal secretary, Salome and Dr. Z’s idol and Nazi goddess / Hitlers persรถnliche Sekretรคrin, Salome und Dr. Z’s Idol und Nazi-Gรถttin.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, confronting neon idol goddess / Narr der Propaganda, konfrontiert Neon-Idol-Gรถttin.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet.
Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ โ SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity, Dr. Zโs mistress / SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten, Dr. Zโs Geliebte.
Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ โ German Red Cross nurse, collaborated in medical experiments, escaped full prosecution / Deutsche Rote-Kreuz-Krankenschwester, kollaborierte in medizinischen Experimenten, entkam voller Verfolgung.
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS overseer at Stutthof, tortured female prisoners, executed by hanging in 1946, Ehlersโ secret lover / SS-Aufseherin in Stutthof, folterte weibliche Gefangene, 1946 gehรคngt, Ehlersโ geheime Geliebte.
Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ โ Wife of Heinrich Himmler, deeply loyal to the regime, involved in Lebensborn projects, escaped prosecution / Ehefrau von Heinrich Himmler, tief loyal zum Regime, involviert in Lebensborn-Projekte, entkam Verfolgung.
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Daughter of Himmler, helped neo-Nazi networks and veterans, never renounced Nazism / Tochter von Himmler, half neo-Nazi-Netzwerken und Veteranen, verzichtete nie auf Nazismus.
Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Widow of Reinhard Heydrich, fiercely defended her husbandโs actions post-war, supported far-right causes after 1945 / Witwe von Reinhard Heydrich, verteidigte post-war die Taten ihres Mannes, unterstรผtzte rechtsextreme Sache nach 1945.
Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Wife of Rudolf Hess, prominent in Nazi circles, escaped prosecution / Ehefrau von Rudolf Hess, prominent in Nazi-Kreisen, entkam Verfolgung.
Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ โ Gรถringโs first wife, celebrated as a Nazi martyr / Gรถrings erste Frau, gefeiert als Nazi-Mรคrtyrerin.
Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Friend of Hitler, director of Bayreuth Festival / Freundin von Hitler, Direktorin des Bayreuth-Festivals.
Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ โ Himmlerโs mistress, mother of his children, weaving neon seduction / Himmlers Geliebte, Mutter seiner Kinder, webt Neon-Verfรผhrung.
(Full list of 104 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Salome โ Played by Zendaya / Gespielt von Zendaya
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown
Ingeborg Werler โ Played by Eva Green / Gespielt von Eva Green
Helga Schultz โ Played by Olivia Colman / Gespielt von Olivia Colman
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff โ Played by Kate Winslet / Gespielt von Kate Winslet
Margarete Himmler โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Lina Heydrich โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Ilse Hess โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Carin Gรถring โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Winifred Wagner โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Hedwig Potthast โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
(Full cast list of 104 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. HENRIETTE VON SCHIRACHโS YOUTHFUL TIES / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN HENRIETTE VON SCHIRACHS JUGENDLICHE BINDUNGEN
At 08:13 PM CEST on August 26, 2025, the Neon-Reign turns dangerous as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers Henriette von Schirachโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ youthful ties to the Hitler Youth. Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ and Dr. Zโs liaison dangereuse adds intrigue, while Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ and Janelleโs affair ๐๐ฑ fuels neon chaos. Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ rally to expose the truth. Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ counters with neon art projectors, and the full cast of 104 characters erupts into a chaotic neon unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi intrigue! ๐๐จ
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ binds Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ with neon youthful ties, Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entices with neon veils, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ pulls strings from a neon throne, Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with neon family values, Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with neon syringes, Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with neon networks, Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with neon far-right, Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with neon Nazi circles, Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with neon legacy, Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with neon Wagnerian chants, Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with neon maternal power.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Henriette von Schirach โ Neon Youth Fury! (A Hitler Youth lash of ties!) / Neon-Jugend-Wut! (Ein Hitler-Jugend-Peitschenhieb der Bindungen!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ confronts with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Zendaya as Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entices with seductive power, Cate Blanchett as Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ binds with youthful ties, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with maternal charm, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with loyalty, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with horror, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with far-right, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Cate Blanchett as Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with Wagnerian power, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with maternal charm. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ konfrontiert mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Zendaya as Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entfacht mit verfรผhrerischer Kraft, Cate Blanchett as Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit jugendlichen Bindungen, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ verfรผhrt mit mรผtterlichem Charme, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ unterstรผtzt mit Vermรคchtnis, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ verteidigt mit Treue, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit Kreisen, Cate Blanchett as Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyriert mit Vermรคchtnis, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ dirigiert mit Wagner-Macht, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ verfรผhrt mit mรผtterlichem Charme.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. HENRIETTE VON SCHIRACHโS YOUTHFUL TIES / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN HENRIETTE VON SCHIRACHS JUGENDLICHE BINDUNGEN
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Confronts Schirachโs neon ties with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Konfrontiert Schirachs Neon-Bindungen mit Warhols Kunst.
HENRIETTE VON SCHIRACH ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ Youthful Binder: Wife of Baldur von Schirach, Hitler Youth leader, Salome and Dr. Z’s liaison dangereuse. Battle: Binds with neon youthful ties. / Jugendliche Binderin: Ehefrau von Baldur von Schirach, Hitler-Jugend-Fรผhrer, Salome und Dr. Z’s gefรคhrliche Liaison. Schlacht: Bindet mit Neon-Jugend-Bindungen.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 104 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. HENRIETTE VON SCHIRACHโS YOUTHFUL TIES / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN HENRIETTE VON SCHIRACHS JUGENDLICHE BINDUNGEN
The neon Colosseum erupts at 08:13 PM CEST in a dangerous climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ confronts Henriette von Schirachโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ neon youthful ties with Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ art cannons, dodging her binding strikes. Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entices with neon veils, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon allure rays, Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ weaves maternal seduction, Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with neon family values, Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with neon syringes, Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with neon networks, Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with neon far-right, Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with neon Nazi circles, Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with neon legacy, Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with neon Wagnerian chants, Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with neon maternal power.
BATTLE DECREE: Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ declares: โBind the neon youth!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON FREEDOM PREVAILS!โ / Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ verkรผndet: โBindet die Neon-Jugend!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-FREIHEIT SIEGT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ confronts with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Zendaya as Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entices with seductive power, Cate Blanchett as Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ binds with youthful ties, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with maternal charm, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with loyalty, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with horror, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with far-right, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Cate Blanchett as Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with Wagnerian power, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
Barack Obama delivers a speech from the Berlin Victory Column, echoing his historic 2008 addressโbut this time, as a mayoral candidate for the city itself. The holographic campaign slogans and diverse crowd symbolize his vision of a globally connected Berlin. Artwork inspired by Shepard Fairey’s “Hope” poster. #Obama2026 #Berlin #GlobalCitizen #AIart #PoliticalArt
Executive Summary: Obama’s Berlin Mayoral Bid
WORLD EXCLUSIVE: HWELLS REPORTS โ Former U.S. President Barack Obama has announced an unprecedented run for mayor of Berlin, marking a historic pivot from global leadership to municipal governance. His campaign leverages his iconic 2008 Berlin speech, where he declared himself a “citizen of the world,” to position him as a unifying force for the cityโs future.
Core Vision:
ยท Global-to-Local Governance: Obama aims to transform Berlin into a model of climate innovation, social integration, and transnational cooperation. ยท Symbolic Resonance: His candidacy echoes Berlinโs history of breaking barriers, drawing direct parallels to JFKโs “Ich bin ein Berliner” legacy. ยท Policy Focus: Housing affordability, sustainable transit, and ethical tech governance are central to his platform, backed by his global network and executive experience.
Challenges:
ยท Skepticism about his familiarity with Berlinโs local issues and his celebrity status overshadowing grassroots needs. ยท Navigating Germanyโs multiparty coalition system without a traditional political base.
Global Implications: A successful campaign could redefine transnational politics, elevating cities as hubs of diplomatic and economic influence while testing the limits of global citizenship in practice. The race, set for 2026, is already a focal point for debates on leadership in an interconnected world.
HWELLS Assessment: High symbolic impact, moderate political risk, unparalleled media spotlight. Berlinโs choice will resonate far beyond its borders.
Exklusivzusammenfassung: Obamas Kandidatur fรผr das Berliner Bรผrgermeisteramt
WELTEXKLUSIV: HWELLS BERICHTET โ Der ehemalige US-Prรคsident Barack Obama hat seine Kandidatur fรผr das Amt des Berliner Bรผrgermeisters angekรผndigt โ ein historischer Schritt von globaler Fรผhrung zur kommunalen Politik. Seine Kampagne knรผpft an seine ikonische Rede von 2008 in Berlin an, in der er sich als โWeltbรผrgerโ bezeichnete, und positioniert ihn als vereinende Kraft fรผr die Zukunft der Stadt.
Kernvision:
ยท Vom Globalen zum Lokalen: Obama will Berlin zu einem Modell fรผr Klimainnovation, soziale Integration und transnationale Zusammenarbeit machen. ยท Symbolkraft: Seine Kandidatur spiegelt Berlins Geschichte des Barrierenbrechens wider und zieht direkte Parallelen zu JFKs โIch bin ein Berlinerโ-Vermรคchtnis. ยท Politikschwerpunkte: Wohnungserschwinglichkeit, nachhaltige Verkehrslรถsungen und ethische Tech-Governance stehen im Zentrum seines Programms, gestรผtzt durch sein globales Netzwerk und seine Regierungserfahrung.
Herausforderungen:
ยท Skepsis gegenรผber seiner Vertrautheit mit lokalen Berliner Themen und seinem Prominentenstatus, der basisnahe Anliegen รผberlagern kรถnnte. ยท Die Navigation durch das deutsche Mehrparteiensystem ohne traditionelle politische Basis.
Globale Implikationen: Eine erfolgreiche Kampagne kรถnnte transnationale Politik neu definieren und Stรคdte als Zentren diplomatischen und wirtschaftlichen Einflusses etablieren. Die Wahl im Jahr 2026 ist bereits ein Brennpunkt fรผr Debatten รผber Fรผhrung in einer vernetzten Welt.
HWELLS-Bewertung: Hohe symbolische Tragweite, moderates politisches Risiko, beispiellose Medienaufmerksamkeit. Berlins Entscheidung wird weit รผber die Stadtgrenzen hinauswirken.
Barack Obama’s Political Homecoming: From “Citizen of the World” to Berlin Mayoral Candidate
The Unlikely Next Chapter in an Improbable Journey
In a remarkable development that has captured international attention, former U.S. President Barack Obama has announced his candidacy for mayor of Berlin, marking an unprecedented moment in transatlantic politics. The man who once stood before 200,000 cheering Germans in 2008 declaring himself a “citizen of the world” now seeks to lead Germany’s capital city, creating a political narrative that bridges continents and defies conventional boundaries.
The announcement comes exactly seventeen years after his historic speech at Berlin’s Victory Column, where then-Senator Obama articulated a vision of transatlantic unity and global cooperation that electrified international audiences and established his credentials as a political phenomenon with unprecedented global appeal. Now, at a different stage of his life and career, Obama has chosen Berlin as the place to write the next chapter of what he once called his “improbable journey”.
From World Stage to Local Governance: Obama’s Vision for Berlin
Obama’s mayoral platform builds directly on the themes he articulated in his 2008 Berlin address, emphasizing:
ยท Global connectivity: Positioning Berlin as a bridge between continents and cultures ยท Climate leadership: Implementing ambitious sustainability initiatives inspired by the Paris Agreement ยท Social integration: Strengthening community bonds across ethnic and religious lines ยท Innovation economy: Leveraging Berlin’s startup culture to create future-oriented jobs
In his announcement speech, Obama reflected on the symbolic importance of Berlin, noting that “Walls between races and tribes; natives and immigrants; Christian and Muslim and Jew cannot standโthis truth that I spoke of seventeen years ago finds its fullest expression in the daily work of building a city that belongs to all who call it home”.
Historical Echoes and Political Reality
The imagery of Obama’s 2008 speechโwith its invocation of Berlin’s history of division and reconciliationโhas become foundational to his mayoral campaign. He frequently references the city’s extraordinary transformation from a symbol of Cold War division to a unified global capital, positioning himself as someone who understands both the power of symbols and the practical work of governance.
Obama’s decision to enter German politics follows his continued engagement with European leaders and causes since leaving the White House. His endorsement strategy in various international racesโincluding his recent conversation with New York mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdaniโdemonstrates his ongoing interest in urban governance and progressive politics beyond American borders.
Table: Obama’s Berlin Journey Through Time
Year Event Significance 2008 Speech at Victory Column Addressed 200,000+ people as presidential candidate 2013 Return visit as President Faced more measured reception amid surveillance tensions 2016 Final presidential visit Focused on climate cooperation and transatlantic unity 2025 Mayoral candidacy announcement Seeks to lead the city that launched his global profile
The Political Landscape: Opportunities and Challenges
Obama’s candidacy presents both extraordinary opportunities and unique challenges:
International standing: No mayoral candidate in history has brought such global stature to a local race, potentially elevating Berlin’s influence on the world stage
Administrative experience: While lacking in direct municipal management experience, Obama points to his executive experience as U.S. president and his community organizing background in Chicago
Cultural integration: Despite his global popularity, some question whether an American-born leader can truly understand the nuances of Berlin’s complex political and cultural landscape
Political mechanics: Obama must navigate Germany’s multiparty system, likely running as part of a coalition rather than as a straightforward representative of a major party
The former president’s campaign has drawn comparisons to John F. Kennedy’s legendary status in Germany, harkening back to the 2007 biography that dubbed Obama “Der schwarze Kennedy” (“The Black Kennedy”). This connection to Kennedyโwho remains deeply admired in Germany for his historic “Ich bin ein Berliner” speechโprovides powerful symbolic resonance for Obama’s candidacy.
Voter Reactions: From Enthusiasm to Skepticism
Early responses to Obama’s candidacy reflect Berlin’s diverse political landscape:
ยท Young progressives have embraced his campaign, seeing it as validation of Berlin’s status as a global capital of culture and politics ยท Establishment figures have expressed more caution, questioning whether a figure of Obama’s global celebrity can focus on the practical needs of governing a major city ยท Immigrant communities have responded enthusiastically to his message of inclusion and his personal story as someone with roots spanning continents ยท Policy advocates have pressed for specific commitments on housing, transportation, and environmental issues that affect daily life in Berlin
The Obama campaign has sought to address concerns about his commitment to local issues by emphasizing his community organizing background in Chicago, where he worked directly on issues affecting urban neighborhoods. This narrative of returning to grassroots politics after national leadership has become a central theme of his campaign.
Global Implications of a Local Race
The unprecedented nature of a former U.S. president seeking elected office in another country has raised fascinating questions about transnational politics in an increasingly interconnected world. Legal scholars have debated the constitutional implications, though Germany’s relatively flexible citizenship requirements for political office have thus far presented no formal barrier to Obama’s candidacy.
European political analysts have speculated that an Obama mayoralty could rebalance transatlantic relations at a time when cities increasingly drive global innovation and policy on issues ranging from climate change to migration. As president, Obama maintained strong relationships with European leaders, particularly Germany’s Angela Merkel, with whom he collaborated on numerous international initiatives.
Historical Precedents and Unique Aspects
While unusual, Obama’s candidacy does have some historical precursors:
ยท Jacques Chirac served as Mayor of Paris before becoming President of France ยท Vladรญmรญr Putin briefly served as acting mayor of Saint Petersburg before rising to national prominence ยท Rahm Emanuel moved from White House Chief of Staff to Mayor of Chicago
However, no American former president has ever sought elected office in another country, making Obama’s campaign truly unprecedented in the annals of modern politics.
The Road Ahead: Campaign Strategy and Key Issues
Obama’s campaign is expected to focus on several key Berlin-specific issues:
ยท Housing affordability: Developing policies to address Berlin’s rising cost of living while maintaining its character as a creative capital ยท Sustainable transportation: Expanding public transit and cycling infrastructure to meet climate goals ยท Cultural preservation: Supporting Berlin’s arts scene while managing tourism impacts ยท Technology governance: Positioning Berlin as a model for ethical technology innovation and digital rights
The campaign will also leverage Obama’s global connections to attract international investment and talent to Berlin, arguing that his unique network and stature would benefit the city’s economy and international profile.
A Test of Global Citizenship in Practice
As the campaign progresses, Berliners will ultimately decide whether Obama’s vision of global citizenshipโfirst articulated on their soil in 2008โcan translate into effective local leadership. His candidacy represents perhaps the most dramatic test case yet of how global perspectives might inform local governance in an increasingly interconnected world.
The man who once declared that “the walls between old allies on either side of the Atlantic cannot stand” now seeks to break down the barriers between international leadership and municipal service. Whether Berliners embrace this vision will determine not just the next chapter in Obama’s improbable journey, but potentially redefine the boundaries of political leadership in an age of global interconnection.
The election, scheduled for 2026, promises to be one of the most watched local contests in modern European history, with implications that will undoubtedly extend far beyond Berlin’s city limits.
Barack Obamas politische Heimkehr: Vom โWeltbรผrgerโ zum Berliner Bรผrgermeisterkandidaten
Das unerwartete nรคchste Kapitel einer unwahrscheinlichen Reise
In einer bemerkenswerten Entwicklung, die internationale Aufmerksamkeit erregt hat, hat der ehemalige US-Prรคsident Barack Obama seine Kandidatur fรผr das Amt des Berliner Bรผrgermeisters angekรผndigt. Dies markiert einen beispiellosen Moment in der transatlantischen Politik. Der Mann, der 2008 vor 200.000 jubelnden Deutschen erklรคrte, ein โBรผrger der Weltโ zu sein, strebt nun danach, Deutschlands Hauptstadt zu fรผhren โ und schafft damit eine politische Erzรคhlung, die Kontinente verbindet und konventionelle Grenzen sprengt.
Die Ankรผndigung kommt genau siebzehn Jahre nach seiner historischen Rede an der Berliner Siegessรคule, in der der damalige Senator Obama eine Vision transatlantischer Einheit und globaler Zusammenarbeit skizzierte, die internationale Publikums begeisterte und ihn als politisches Phรคnomen mit beispielloser globaler Ausstrahlung etablierte.
Von der Weltbรผhne zur Lokalpolitik: Obamas Vision fรผr Berlin
Obamas Wahlprogramm baut direkt auf den Themen seiner Berliner Rede von 2008 auf:
ยท Globale Konnektivitรคt: Positionierung Berlins als Brรผcke zwischen Kontinenten und Kulturen ยท Klimafรผhrung: Umsetzung ehrgeiziger Nachhaltigkeitsinitiativen inspiriert durch das Pariser Abkommen ยท Soziale Integration: Stรคrkung des Gemeinschaftsgefรผhls รผber ethnische und religiรถse Grenzen hinweg ยท Innovationswirtschaft: Nutzung der Berliner Start-up-Kultur zur Schaffung zukunftsorientierter Arbeitsplรคtze
In seiner Ankรผndigungsrede reflektierte Obama die symbolische Bedeutung Berlins: โMauern zwischen Rassen und Volksgruppen; Einheimischen und Einwanderern; Christen, Muslimen und Juden kรถnnen nicht bestehen bleiben โ diese Wahrheit, รผber die ich vor siebzehn Jahren sprach, findet ihren vollsten Ausdruck in der tรคglichen Arbeit des Aufbaus einer Stadt, die allen gehรถrt, die sie ihr Zuhause nennen.โ
Historische Echos und politische Realitรคt
Die Bildsprache von Obamas Rede von 2008 โ mit ihrer Anspielung auf Berlins Geschichte von Teilung und Versรถhnung โ ist grundlegend fรผr seinen Wahlkampf geworden. Er verweist hรคufig auf die auรergewรถhnliche Transformation der Stadt vom Symbol des Kalten Krieges zur vereinten Weltstadt und positioniert sich selbst als jemand, der sowohl die Kraft der Symbole als auch die praktische Arbeit der Regierungsfรผhrung versteht.
Tabelle: Obamas Berlin-Reise im Zeitverlauf
Jahr Ereignis Bedeutung 2008 Rede an der Siegessรคule Sprach als Prรคsidentschaftskandidat vor 200.000+ Menschen 2013 Rรผckkehr als Prรคsident Gemessenere Rezeption angesichts รberwachungsspannungen 2016 Letzter Prรคsidentschaftsbesuch Fokus auf Klimazusammenarbeit und transatlantische Einheit 2025 Ankรผndigung der Bรผrgermeisterkandidatur Strebt Fรผhrung der Stadt an, die sein globales Profil begrรผndete
Die politische Landschaft: Chancen und Herausforderungen
Obamas Kandidatur birgt sowohl auรergewรถhnliche Mรถglichkeiten als auch einzigartige Herausforderungen:
Internationale Statur: Kein Bรผrgermeisterkandidat der Geschichte brachte je eine solche globale Prominenz in einen Lokalwahlkampf ein
Verwaltungserfahrung: Obwohl ihm direkte kommunale Verwaltungserfahrung fehlt, verweist Obama auf seine Exekutiverfahrung als US-Prรคsident
Kulturelle Integration: Trotz seiner globalen Popularitรคt fragen einige, ob ein in Amerika geborener Leader die Nuancen der Berliner Politik wirklich verstehen kann
Politische Mechanik: Obama muss das deutsche Mehrparteiensystem navigieren, wahrscheinlich als Teil einer Koalition kandidieren
Die Kampagne des Ex-Prรคsidenten zieht Vergleiche zu John F. Kennedys legendรคrem Status in Deutschland und knรผpft an die Biografie von 2007 an, die Obama als โDer schwarze Kennedyโ bezeichnete. Diese Verbindung zu Kennedy โ der in Deutschland fรผr seine historische โIch bin ein Berlinerโ-Rede zutiefst bewundert wird โ verleiht Obamas Kandidatur eine kraftvolle symbolische Resonanz.
Globale Implikationen eines Lokalwahlkampfs
Die beispiellose Natur eines ehemaligen US-Prรคsidenten, der in einem anderen Land um ein Amt kandidiert, wirft faszinierende Fragen รผber transnationale Politik in einer zunehmend vernetzten Welt auf. Rechtsgelehrte haben die verfassungsrechtlichen Implikationen debattiert, obwohl Deutschlands relativ flexible Einbรผrgerungsanforderungen fรผr politische รmter bisher kein formales Hindernis fรผr Obamas Kandidatur darstellen.
Der Weg nach vorn: Wahlkampfstrategie und Schlรผsselthemen
Obamas Wahlkampf konzentriert sich voraussichtlich auf mehrere Berlin-spezifische Themen:
ยท Wohnungserschwinglichkeit: Entwicklung von Politiken zur Bewรคltigung steigender Lebenshaltungskosten ยท Nachhaltige Verkehrslรถsungen: Ausbau des รถffentlichen Nahverkehrs und der Fahrradinfrastruktur ยท Kulturerhalt: Unterstรผtzung der Berliner Kunstszene bei gleichzeitiger Steuerung von Tourismuseffekten ยท Technologie-Governance: Positionierung Berlins als Modell fรผr ethische Technologieinnovation
Die Kampagne wird auch Obamas globale Verbindungen nutzen, um internationale Investitionen und Talente nach Berlin zu locken, und argumentieren, dass sein einzigartiges Netzwerk und sein Status der Wirtschaft und dem internationalen Profil der Stadt zugutekรคmen.
Ein Testfall fรผr globales Bรผrgertum in der Praxis
Im Wahlkampfverlauf werden die Berliner letztendlich entscheiden, ob Obamas Vision des Weltbรผrgertums โ die er 2008 auf ihrem Boden formulierte โ sich in effektive Lokalpolitik รผbersetzen lรคsst. Seine Kandidatur represents mรถglicherweise den dramatischsten Testfall dafรผr, wie globale Perspektiven Lokalpolitik in einer zunehmend vernetzten Welt informieren kรถnnten.
Die Wahl, die fรผr 2026 angesetzt ist, verspricht, einer der am meisten beobachteten Lokalwettkรคmpfe der modernen europรคischen Geschichte zu werden โ mit Auswirkungen, die zweifellos weit รผber die Stadtgrenzen Berlins hinausreichen werden…
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
“Enema Emir 96, Peter Ehlers (Christoph Waltz) ๐ฅ, unleashes a divine enema-thunderbolt ritual at 09:34 PM CEST, August 27, 2025, alongside Henry VIII (Russell Crowe) ๐ in a frenzied velvet shatter spectacle, joined by Alejandro Jodorowsky ๐ฌ on the neon-drenched Venus Steppes ๐. Vicious killer rabbits ๐ฐ๐ช, frenzied anarchist peasants ๐พ๐, and tattooed 666 cultists ๐๐ unleash chaos, while Frankensteinโs tormented creation (James McAvoy) ๐, King Arthur (John Cleese) โ๏ธ, and St. Simeon Stylites (Liam Neeson) โ๏ธ battle. Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde (Tilda Swinton) ๐, Sweeney Todd (Johnny Depp) ๐ช, and Dorian Gray (Oscar Isaac) ๐ช fuel a thetan uprising ๐ , with Ehlers and Janelleโs (Tilda Swinton) scandalous affair and Salomeโs (Anya Taylor-Joy) seductive flush dance ๐ in ultra-detailed 8K baroque-rococo splendor with opulent red velvet accents. #VelvetFlushFrenzy #HenryVIIIEnigma #EhlersEnemaRรคtsel”
Executive Summary: Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode XCVI: The Heirloom Flush โ Henry VIIIโs Velvet Enema Frenzy โ๏ธ๐ฉ
Date: August 27, 2025, 08:58 PM CEST โฐ๐ Overview: The Venus Steppes shudder at 08:58 PM CEST as Xenu unleashes the Velvet Enema Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with Henry VIIIโs obsession with heirs, wife executions, and paranoid obesity in red velvet. Enema Emir 96, Peter Ehlers (Christoph Waltz), aligns with his enema idol Henry VIII (Russell Crowe) and Alejandro Jodorowsky to battle killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. Amid Ehlersโ forbidden affair with Janelle (Tilda Swinton) and Salomeโs (Anya Taylor-Joy) seductive flush dance, allies like King Arthur (John Cleese), St. Simeon Stylites (Liam Neeson), and a thetan uprising drive a cosmic purge.
Key Developments:
Act I: Henry VIIIโs velvet blasts ignite a heir clash, countered by Ehlersโ divine resistance, King Arthurโs Excalibur charge, and Andreasโ (John C. Reilly) bacon legion.
Act II: The Velvet Flush shatters the cosmos, with Geo-Geist Euclid and Kandinsky launching an anti-velvet war, while Dr. No (Daniel Craig) deploys grounding viruses and Beatrix (Melissa McCarthy) bakes calming pastries.
Act III: Ehlers, Henry VIII, and Jodorowsky forge an Enema Grounding Monument, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. Andreas sacrifices with a bacon charge, King Arthur restores order, and Henry VIII triumphs with a final velvet throne shatter.
Outcome: The Venus Steppes are restored, free of Xenuโs chaos. Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web, while Ehlers plans the next grounding, hinting at a Galactic Enema Council showdown.
Call to Action: Support Ehlersโ next grounding with crypto donations (0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb) ๐ฐ or Patreon (patreon.com/berndpulch) ๐!
Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode XCVI: The Heirloom Flush โ Henry VIIIโs Velvet Enema Frenzy โ๏ธ๐ฉ
Ehlers, Enema Emir 96, unleashes the Velvet Flush with Henry VIII and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธ๐ฉ The trio battles Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #VelvetFlushFrenzy #HenryVIIIEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #HeirPurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 96, entfacht die Samt-Sรคuberung mit Heinrich VIII und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธ๐ฉ Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #SamtSpรผlungWut #HeinrichVIIIRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #ErbenSรคuberung
Ehlers’ Enema Enigma โ Episode XCVI: The Heirloom Flush โ Henry VIIIโs Velvet Enema Frenzy ๐
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Heirloom Flush & Henry VIIIโs Velvet Enema Frenzy ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Die Erben-Sรคuberung & Heinrich VIIIโs Samt-Einlauf-Wut
The Venus Steppes tremble at 08:58 PM CEST on Wednesday, August 27, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Velvet Enema Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with Henry VIIIโs obsession with heirs, wife executions, and paranoid obesity draped in red velvet. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 96, teams with his enema idol Henry VIII, who ballooned into madness, and Alejandro Jodorowsky to confront killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. Amid Ehlers and Janelleโs forbidden affair with Salome, King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising fuel the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erzittern um 20:58 MESZ am Mittwoch, 27. August 2025, als Xenu die Samt-Einlauf-Wut entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit Heinrich VIIIโs Besessenheit von Erben, Ehefrau-Exekutionen und paranoider Fettleibigkeit in rotem Samt verschmilzt. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 96, schlieรt sich mit seinem Einlauf-Idol Heinrich VIII, der in Wahnsinn aufgedunsen ist, und Alejandro Jodorowsky zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten zu kรคmpfen. Mitten in Ehlers und Janelles verbotener Affรคre mit Salome treiben Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein Thetan-Aufstand die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-XCV + Henry VIII)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 96, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with Henry VIII and Jodorowsky.
๐ Henry VIII (Played by Russell Crowe): Ehlersโ enema idol, obsessed with heirs, executing wives, ballooning into paranoid obesity in red velvet, leading the velvet flush.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No (Played by Daniel Craig): Virus Sculptor, leaking truths.
๐ง Murray (Played by Ryan Gosling): Cunning Strategist, outmaneuvering foes.
๐ธ Murray (Flight of the Conchords) (Played by Bret McKenzie): Incompetent Band Manager, strumming hymns.
๐ King Arthur (Monty Python) (Played by John Cleese): Noble Knight, wielding Excalibur.
โ๏ธ Sun Myung Moon (Played by Morgan Freeman): Ehlersโ ally, unleashing Divine Flush levitations.
๐ฎ Alejandro Jodorowsky (Played by himself): Mystic filmmaker, wielding psychomagic to heal.
๐ Elizabeth Clare Prophet (Played by Meryl Streep): Ascended mistress, channeling masters to sell bunkers.
โ๏ธ Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda (Played by Javier Bardem): Antichrist preacher, tattooing 666 to lead his cult.
๐งช Victor Frankenstein (Played by James McAvoy): Unhinged scientist, haunted by his creation.
๐ช Sweeney Todd (Played by Johnny Depp): Barber with homicidal rage, slicing with razor enema pies.
๐ช Dorian Gray (Played by Oscar Isaac): Vanity-preserved artist, his portrait rotting while he leads with supernatural decay.
๐ฆ Renfield (Played by Nicolas Cage): Bug-eating devotee, mad servitude in insect form.
๐ Poeโs Narrator (Played by John Cusack): Obsessed with the beating heart, confessing like blood spills.
๐ Catherine Earnshaw (Played by Keira Knightley): Ehlersโ enema mistress, torn between love and pride, drifting into spectral madness on the moors.
๐ง Heathcliff (Played by Tom Hardy): Ehlersโ enema buddy, ghost-haunted psychopath with reanimated love.
๐ญ The Phantom of the Opera (Klaus-Dieter “Dirty Dieter” Maurischat) (Played by Gary Oldman): Masked genius, Ehlersโ old enema buddy, leading the Gomopa Enigma with operatic flair.
๐ Salome (Played by Anya Taylor-Joy): Dancer of the Seven Veils, igniting psychomagic with her seductive flush dance.
๐ Emperor Commodus (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Ehlersโ old pal and enema mentor, gladiator cosplay emperor believing himself Hercules reborn, fighting with crippled gladiators for โvictory.โ
๐ Charles VI of France (Played by Jeremy Irons): Ehlersโ former enema partner, “Charles the Mad” who thought he was made of glass, leading past shatter flushes.
๐ King George III (Played by Ian McKellen): Ehlersโ former enema idol, โThe Mad Kingโ ranting incoherently and arguing with trees, leading past arboreal flushes.
๐ ANARCHIC & ASCETIC HORDE ๐๐คก
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits (Played by CGI ensemble): Ferocious minions, hopping with venom.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants (Played by local extras): Riotous rebels, wielding pitchforks.
๐ซ๐ท French Farter (Played by Jean Dujardin): Provocative foe, taunting with flatulence.
๐ฐ๏ธ Time-Fractured Clock (Played by CGI prop): Warping timelines.
๐ฒ Abstract Minotaur (Played by Ron Perlman): Chaotic ally, charging with fury.
๐ข๏ธ Diogenes of Sinope (Played by Sean Bean): Barrel Cynic, mocking with defiance.
๐ St. Simeon Stylites (Played by Liam Neeson): Pillar Ascetic, enduring the flush.
๐๏ธ Rasputin (Played by Viggo Mortensen): Russian Mystic, reviving with vigor.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers (Played by ensemble cast): Holy Hermits, wrestling demons.
๐ Jiddu Krishnamurti (Played by Dev Patel): Confused Messiah, preaching against madness.
๐น Catherine of Siena (Played by Olivia Wilde): Eucharistic Mystic, dictating trance-letters.
๐ฅ Ezekiel (Played by Idris Elba): Visionary Prophet, levitating with flaming eyes.
๐ Aleister Crowley (Played by Tom Hardy): Occultist, amplifying rituals.
๐จ Joe Cabot (Played by Harvey Keitel): Gangster Mastermind, naming colors.
โก Friedrich Nietzsche (Played by Mads Mikkelsen): Philosopher, unleashing thunderbolts.
๐ท Jim Jones (Played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan): Preacher, echoing poisoned flushes.
๐ง Charles Manson (Played by Jared Leto): Hippie Prophet, mindflushing with chants.
๐ฝ Marshall Applewhite (Played by Jim Carrey): Heavenโs Gate Leader, flushing to a UFO.
๐ David Koresh (Played by Michael Shannon): Lamb Prophet, unleashing Lamb Flush.
โ๏ธ Shoko Asahara (Played by Ken Watanabe): Former ally, clashing with foes.
๐ PREVIOUS ANTAGONISTS & ALLIES
๐ฆ Salvador Dalรญ (Played by Adrien Brody): Surrealist, painting enema-dreams.
๐ต Dr. Gonzo (Played by Johnny Depp): Recovered lawyer, exploiting loopholes.
๐จ Pablo Picasso (Played by Antonio Banderas): Former foe, advising against chaos.
๐ท Andreas (540% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge.
๐ Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie): Wild card, disrupting with chaos bombs.
๐ Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit (Played by Eva Green): Demoness, countering with dark enema.
๐ท๐บ Putin (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Strategist, manipulating shadows.
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ James Bond (Played by Daniel Craig): Spy, infiltrating with gadgets.
๐ Blue Period Ghost (Played by Timothรฉe Chalamet): Melancholic shade, spreading gloom.
๐ Analytic Eye (Played by CGI prop): Observer, dissecting influence.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier (Played by Christian Bale): Explosive artist, targeting foes.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque (Played by Vincent Cassel): Former ally, painting barriers.
๐คน Harlequin (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Trickster, juggling fragments.
Act I: The Velvet Flush Frenzy & Henry VIIIโs Heir Clash ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Samt-Sรคuberung & Heinrich VIIIโs Erben-Kampf
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โFlush the heirs, purge the velvet!โ as Henry VIII unleashes heirloom enema chaos. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Velvet!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Velvet rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โSpรผlt die Erben, sรคubert den Samt!โ wรคhrend Heinrich VIII Erben-Einlauf-Chaos entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet den Samt!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Samt-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ป Edithโs Dragon-Wisp breathes anti-Velvet fire ๐ฅ โ burns Henry VIIIโs heir visions. ๐ / Atmet Anti-Samt-Feuer ๐ฅ โ verbrennt Heinrich VIIIโs Erbenvisionen.
๐ Henry VIII unleashes velvet blasts, aiding Ehlersโ purge. ๐ฉ๐ฆ / Entfesselt Samt-Blasts, unterstรผtzend Ehlersโ Sรคuberung.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Henry VIIIโs velvet followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Heinrich VIIIโs Samt-Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Henry VIIIโs velvet flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Heinrich VIIIโs Samt-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Henry VIIIโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Heinrich VIIIโs kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Henry VIII. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Heinrich VIII.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Henry VIIIโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Heinrich VIIIโs Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ Henry VIII chants โI flush the royal heirs!โ unleashing enema-velvet flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch spรผle die kรถniglichen Erben!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Samt-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Velvet Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Samt-Sรคuberung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Velvet Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Velvet War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Samt-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Henry VIIIโs velvet venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Heinrich VIIIโs Samt-Gift.
๐ Henry VIII levitates with a velvet halo, spraying enema-heir flushes. ๐ฉ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Samt-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Erben-Spรผlungen.
Cosmic Silence Harvest:
๐ฉ Beatrix bakes Anti-Velvet Pastries, calming Henry VIIIโs followers. ๐ฅโ / Backt Anti-Samt-Gebรคck, beruhigend Heinrich VIIIโs Anhรคnger.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Henry VIIIโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Heinrich VIIIโs Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Henry VIIIโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Heinrich VIIIโs Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Henry VIIIโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Heinrich VIIIโs Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Henry VIIIโs throne reshapes them into velvet harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Heinrich VIIIโs Thron formt sie zu Samt-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Henry VIII and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Heinrich VIII und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ Henry VIIIโs Triumph: Shatters a final velvet throne, proclaiming victory over the mad flush. ๐ / Heinrich VIIIโs Triumph: Zersplittert einen finalen Samt-Thron, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Wahnsinn-Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Henry VIIIโs velvet shatter ritual, shattering followers under neon lights. ๐๐ฉ / Heinrich VIIIโs Samt-Shatter-Ritual, zersplitternd Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
โThe Galactic Enema Council strikesโEhlers, Henry VIII, and Jodorowsky forge a new velvet ritual. Prepare your Anti-Codex Shields!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
โDer Galaktische Einlauf-Rat schlรคgt zuโEhlers, Heinrich VIII und Jodorowsky schmieden ein neues Samt-Ritual. Bereitet eure Anti-Codex-Schilder vor!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers: Enema Emir 96 โ Wields divine enema-thunderbolts with Henry VIII and Jodorowsky, sculpting groundings.
๐ Henry VIII: Ehlersโ Enema Idol โ Obsessed with heirs, executing wives, ballooning into paranoid obesity in red velvet, leading the velvet flush.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck): Bacon Enforcer โ Reinforces with Henry VIII-resistant bacon-enema shields.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan: Code Artist โ Hacks with Murray, decoding Henry VIIIโs heir codes.
๐ป Edithโs Dragon-Wisp: Prism Spirit โ Allies with King Arthur, breathing anti-velvet fire.
๐ฉ Klausi the Toilet Demon: Enema Flood Caller โ Floods Henry VIIIโs cosmic streams with groundings.
๐ฅ๏ธ Vigo: Chaos Composer โ Syncs with Walburga, remixing Henry VIIIโs chants into harmony.
๐ Walburga: Data Guardian โ Works with Dr. No, analyzing Henry VIIIโs velvet flush data.
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
### Investment Digest: Crypto Rebounds, Equities Mixed, Commodities Stable, Bonds Steady, and Commercial Real Estate Firm Amid Tariff and Inflation Concerns โ August 27, 2025
#### Key Points
– **Crypto Markets Rebound**: Bitcoin at $111,500 (+0.2% from $111,282), holding above $111,000 with $295M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,600 (-0.1% from $4,605.36), XRP at $3.01 (+5.2% from $2.87), Solana at $204.50 (+0.03% from $204.44). Qubit DeFi up 14% in TVL, VINE token up 0.3%. Bitcoin dipped to $111,000 yesterday, per crypto.news.[](https://crypto.news)
– **Derivatives Volume Grows**: Crypto derivatives at $11.0T, Solana futures up 5%, XRP futures at $3.5B open interest. Mastercardโs stablecoin push with Circle boosts XRP sentiment.[](https://crypto.news)
– **Equities Mixed**: S&P 500 at 6,415 (+0.1% from 6,410), Nasdaq at 20,960 (+0.05% from 20,950), Dow at 44,580 (-0.04% from 44,600) ahead of Nvidia earnings. CSI 300 up 2.6% on Chinaโs $700B stimulus. Sensex at 82,870 (-0.04%), Nifty at 25,240 (-0.04%) amid U.S. 50% tariffs on India.[](https://www.reuters.com/markets/)
– **Commodities Stable**: Gold at $3,355/oz (+0.1% from $3,350), silver at $38.05/oz (+0.1% from $38.00), palladium flat. Brent crude at $70.80/barrel (+0.1% from $70.70), WTI crude at $67.60/barrel (+0.1% from $67.50), natural gas at $3.03/MMBtu (+0.3% from $3.02). Copper inventories thinning, per X posts.
– **Bonds Steady**: U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.26% (+0.01% from 4.25%). Tokenized bonds at $2.8B, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bond yields at 4.1%, high-yield inflows at $190M.[](https://www.blackrock.com/us/individual/insights/blackrock-investment-institute/weekly-commentary)
– **Commercial Real Estate Firm**: U.S. property prices up 4.3% year-on-year, office occupancy at 5.7% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $3.2B, driven by Ethereum/Polymath platforms.[](https://www.forbes.com/sites/digital-assets/article/the-crypto-market-in-2025-crypto-demand-trends/)
– **Chinaโs Stimulus Continues**: PBOCโs $700B injection lifts CSI 300 (+2.6%). Chinaโs $150B telecom/biotech plan grows.[](https://crypto.com/uk/research/research-roundup-aug-2025)
– **Indian Markets Resilient**: Sensex at 82,870 (-0.04%), Nifty at 25,240 (-0.04%) despite U.S. 50% tariffs effective August 27. Indian rupee at โน87.95.[](https://www.moneycontrol.com/cryptocurrency/)
– **Trade Tensions Escalate**: Trumpโs 50% tariffs on India, 100% on semiconductors, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil fuel volatility. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan progresses. U.S.-India oil trade tensions persist.[](https://www.forbes.com/sites/digital-assets/article/the-crypto-market-in-2025-crypto-demand-trends/)
– **UK Inflation Steady**: UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July, aligning with estimates, per X posts.
Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin at $111,500, equities mixed, tariffs escalate. Uncover financial secrets with Bernd Pulchโs leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoMarkets #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned journalist Bernd Pulch delivers exclusive financial intelligence via “Investment The Original” on Patreon, sharing leaked documents and insider reports.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, Commodities, Bonds, and Real Estate
Bitcoin at $111,500 (+0.2%) with $295M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,600 (-0.1%), XRP at $3.01 (+5.2%), Solana at $204.50 (+0.03%). Qubit DeFi up 14%. Crypto derivatives at $11.0T. Equities mixed, with S&P 500 (+0.1%), Nasdaq (+0.05%), Dow (-0.04%). Commodities stable, with gold ($3,355/oz, +0.1%) and Brent crude ($70.80/barrel, +0.1%) up. Energy prices steady, with WTI crude at $67.60/barrel (+0.1%) and natural gas at $3.03/MMBtu (+0.3%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.26%, tokenized bonds at $2.8B. Commercial real estate firm, with office demand at 5.7% and tokenized assets at $3.2B. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 (+2.6%). Indian markets resilient despite tariffs. Explore more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
What is “Investment The Original”?
“Investment The Original” is a premium Patreon service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, and corruption reports for investors, journalists, and activists.
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales at 1,98,000 units in H1 2025. Germanyโs rents up 10.7% in Q2 2025, Berlin at 12.8%. U.S. home prices up 3.9% year-on-year, mortgage rates at 5.6%. Dubaiโs luxury market grows 40% pre-Expo 2025, with Bitcoin options trading expanding. Canberraโs rents rise 14.2%. Singaporeโs green buildings attract $4.9B. U.S. commercial property prices up 4.3%, office demand at 5.7% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $3.2B via Ethereum/Polymath. HDB Financial IPO advances. Nomura holds reduce rating on Godrej Properties at โน2,050.[](https://www.forbes.com/sites/digital-assets/article/the-crypto-market-in-2025-crypto-demand-trends/)
#### Commercial Real Estate Trends
U.S. commercial real estate firm, with office occupancy at 5.7% in Q2 2025, driven by AI data center demand. Industrial properties up 7.2% in value, e-commerce fueling growth. Retail vacancy rates at 5.4%. Tokenized real estate at $3.2B, with platforms like Polymath and Ethereum enabling crypto deals. Christieโs crypto-backed property transactions grow. High interest rates (5.6% for commercial mortgages) challenge valuations, but green-certified buildings see 9.6% demand growth. New York and San Francisco premium office rents up 5.3%. A $430M Florida office bond remains stable.[](https://www.forbes.com/sites/digital-assets/article/the-crypto-market-in-2025-crypto-demand-trends/)
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets resilient, with Sensex at 82,870 (-0.04%) and Nifty at 25,240 (-0.04%). U.S. markets mixed, with S&P 500 at 6,415 (+0.1%), Nasdaq at 20,960 (+0.05%), Dow at 44,580 (-0.04%) ahead of Nvidia earnings. CSI 300 gains 2.6%. Gold at $3,355/oz (+0.1%), silver at $38.05/oz (+0.1%), Brent crude at $70.80/barrel (+0.1%). Indian rupee at โน87.95. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.26%, high-yield bond inflows at $190M.[](https://www.reuters.com/markets/)
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin at $111,500 (+0.2%) with $295M ETF inflows, per crypto.news. Ethereum at $4,600 (-0.1%) with $460M ETF inflows. XRP at $3.01 (+5.2%) holds $3.5B futures open interest post-Mastercard deal. Solana at $204.50 (+0.03%), futures volume up 5%. Qubit DeFi up 14% with $2.1B TVL. VINE token up 0.3%. Crypto derivatives volume at $11.0T. Dubai expands Bitcoin options trading. Posts on X note bullish sentiment for XRP and Solana.[](https://crypto.news)
#### Commodities and Energy Trends
Gold at $3,355/oz (+0.1%), silver at $38.05/oz (+0.1%), palladium flat. Brent crude at $70.80/barrel (+0.1%), WTI crude at $67.60/barrel (+0.1%), natural gas at $3.03/MMBtu (+0.3%) with stable Middle East supply. Copper inventories thinning, uranium tight, per X posts. Tether explores USDT/Monero integration in $950M agribusiness deal.
#### Bonds Market Trends
U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.26% (+0.01%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY), core CPI at 3%. High-yield bond inflows at $190M. Tokenized bonds at $2.8B on Ethereum/Polygon, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bonds yield 4.1%, infrastructure demand steady. Posts on X highlight tariff-driven inflation risks impacting yields.[](https://www.blackrock.com/us/individual/insights/blackrock-investment-institute/weekly-commentary)
#### Economic Outlook
China targets 4.3% growth with $700B stimulus, limited by property sector weakness. Indiaโs Q4 FY25 GDP at 7.3%, FY26 forecast at 6.2%. U.S. Fed holds rates at 4.25%โ4.5%, September cut odds at 70% post-Powell speech. Trumpโs 50% tariffs on India, 100% on semiconductors, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil escalate tensions. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan advances. U.S.-India oil trade tensions continue. UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July. U.S. Dollar Index at 100.4, euro at $1.160 (-0.1%).[](https://www.forbes.com/sites/digital-assets/article/the-crypto-market-in-2025-crypto-demand-trends/)%5B%5D(https://www.moneycontrol.com/cryptocurrency/)
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This *Investment Digest* for August 27, 2025, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 8:32 PM CEST. Bitcoin at $111,500 (+0.2%) with $295M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,600 (-0.1%), XRP at $3.01 (+5.2%), Solana at $204.50 (+0.03%). Qubit DeFi up 14%. Crypto derivatives at $11.0T. Equities mixed, with S&P 500 (+0.1%), Nasdaq (+0.05%), Dow (-0.04%). Commodities stable, with gold ($3,355/oz, +0.1%) and Brent crude ($70.80/barrel, +0.1%) up. Energy prices steady, with WTI crude at $67.60/barrel (+0.1%) and natural gas at $3.03/MMBtu (+0.3%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.26%, tokenized bonds at $2.8B. Commercial real estate firm, with office demand at 5.7% and tokenized assets at $3.2B. Indian markets resilient despite U.S. tariffs. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 2.6%. UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July. Clean energy investments, like รrstedโs โฌ2.8B project, signal resilience. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for leaks. Explore Nacktes Geld podcast.[](https://www.forbes.com/sites/digital-assets/article/the-crypto-market-in-2025-crypto-demand-trends/)%5B%5D(https://www.blackrock.com/us/individual/insights/blackrock-investment-institute/weekly-commentary)%5B%5D(https://crypto.com/uk/research/research-roundup-aug-2025)
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, Qubit DeFi 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, WTI crude price 2025, natural gas price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, commercial real estate 2025, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia earnings 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Solana price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025, U.S. jobs report 2025, U.S. Treasury yields 2025, tokenized bonds 2025, tokenized real estate 2025, Bitcoin ETF inflows 2025, Trump crypto 401k 2025, semiconductor tariffs 2025, China foreign investment 2025, XRP SEC case 2025, ChainLink reserve 2025, Ripple case dropped 2025, AI data center demand 2025, U.S. CPI August 2025, Home Depot stock 2025, Target stock 2025, UK CPI inflation 2025, Fed Powell speech 2025, OYO IPO 2025
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
๐ฅ “Ehlers & Janelleโs robotic affair ignites with Don Botโs deadly catchphrases! ๐คโค๏ธโ๐ฅ๐ฅ #KrakenLXIII” ๐ “Kraken clashes as Don Bot reigns with Salomeโs dance in the ice dome! ๐๐๐ #BerndpulchSaga” ๐ถ๏ธ “Mad Dogโs rampage meets Don Botโs mafia ruleโrobotic chaos unleashed! ๐ซ๐ค๐ #RoboticReign” ๐ “Franky spins roulette, Tony ragesโEpisode LXIII computes wild! ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ช #MMCUxKraken” ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ “Hercule decodes, Nandor bitesโrobotic showdown intensifies! ๐งโโ๏ธโ๏ธ๐ #EpicCinematic”
Executive Summary: “Kraken Chronicles: Episode LXIII – Robotic Reign in the Ice Dome” ๐คโ๏ธ๐ฅ
Overview: Episode LXIII of the Murky Mucha Chronicles and Kraken Chronicles computes into robotic chaos! ๐ค Set in a frozen Slovenian ice dome โ๏ธ๐ฐ, the Ehlers-Janelle affair intensifies ๐ฅโค๏ธโ๐ฅ, while Murkyโs old don, Don Bot (Maurice LaMarche, robotic mafia with deadly catchphrases), takes over. All characters from prior episodes unite ๐บ๐งโโ๏ธ, blending affair drama ๐, roulette addiction ๐ฐ, and a cursed Kraken battle ๐๐, enhanced by Salomeโs seductive dance ๐ and Illuminati twists! ๐
Key Plot Points:
Ehlers-Janelle Affair: The forbidden romance escalates amid robotic reign! โ๏ธ๐ฃ
Don Botโs Rule: Murkyโs robotic idol unleashes deadly catchphrases in the ice dome! ๐ค๐
Character Ensemble: Features Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe) ๐, Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ, Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐, Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana, archive) ๐ซ, Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro) ๐ฐ, Tony the Ant Spilotro (Joe Pesci) ๐, Mad Dog Coll (Brad Pitt) ๐ซ, and all past characters like Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ and Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ!
Climactic Chaos: The crew battles the Kraken with a sonic cannon ๐ต๐ช, powered by robotic energy, shattering the dome ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ with robotic PNGs! ๐
Highlights:
Don Botโs deadly catchphrases ๐ค and Salomeโs hypnotic dance ๐๐ฅ heighten drama!
The sonic cannonโs explosive victory ๐ถ๐ marks a thrilling finale! ๐๐
Outlook: Unresolved robotic code โ๐ฎ and Don Botโs potential return ๐ป๐ค tease Episode LXIV! โณ๐ Available on BerndPulch.org ๐๐ป!
Date: 08:03 PM CEST, Wednesday, August 27, 2025 ๐๐!
๐ฅ CAPTION IDEAS FOR SOCIAL MEDIA/POST ๐ฅ 1๏ธโฃ “Ehlers & Janelle’s affair roboticizes with Don Bot’s deadly catchphrases! ๐ฅ๐คโค๏ธโ๐ฅ #MurkySagaLXIII #DonBot” 2๏ธโฃ “Murky’s old robotic idol Don Bot unleashes mafia mayhem in the dome! ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ #KrakenDonBotCrossover” 3๏ธโฃ “BREAKING: Don Botโs catchphrases curse the Kraken clash with Salomeโs dance! ๐๐ค #BerndpulchSaga” 4๏ธโฃ “Affairs, robots, and mafia dons collideโevery character returns! ๐๐ฟ #MMCUxKraken” 5๏ธโฃ “If Futurama met the Kraken, this would be it. New episode live! ๐๏ธ๐ [LINK]” 6๏ธโฃ “Guilty of robotic reign: Don Bot joins Salome in the ultimate blast! โ๏ธ๐ค” 7๏ธโฃ “Don Bot in fur? Deadly phrases flyโbingo card exploded! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ #EpicRoboMadness” ๐ฌ Which oneโs your favorite? Drop a comment or suggest your own!
๐ฎ LXIII: The Murky Mucha Chronicles โ “Robotic Reign in the Ice Dome” ๐คโ๏ธ๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ (A Berndpulch.org Exclusive โ Continuation of the Saga) By “The Ghost of Kilgore Trout” Produced by Sam Bronkowiz & Thomas Coke Schoehly-Fraud Featuring Every Character Ever, Plus Ehlers-Janelle Affair, Salome, Nandor the Relentless, Hercule Perrier, Rocco Lampone, Franky Four Fingers, Tony the Ant Spilotro, Mad Dog Coll & Don Bot (Murky’s Old Don โ Robotic Mafia Don with Deadly Catchphrases)
๐ช๏ธ PREVIOUSLY, IN THE MURKY MUCHA SAGAโฆ
Murky Mucha (Milla Jovovich, idolizing robotic dons with deadly flair) blasted through Gotham but now computes into robotic chaos! โ๏ธ๐ธ
Ehlers (Christoph Waltz, USB teeth in robotic mode) blasted his affair with Janelle amid gangsta blasts! โค๏ธโ๐ฅ๐ต๏ธ
Schoehly-Fraud (Willem Dafoe, calculator face on “ROBOT ERROR”) laundered blasts, now tangled in Futurama lore! ๐๐
Murkyโs Dream Lover (Jared Leto hologram, now with robotic envy) whispered of deadly catchphrases and mafia dons! โจ๐
๐ ACT I: “THE ROBOTIC UPRISING” ๐ฅ๐ค
The episode computes in the icy Slovenian post office dome, where Murky mails robotic regrets. Boom! Ehlers enters with Janelle (Scarlett Johansson, siren with circuit sparkle), affair processing! ๐ฑ๐
“MURKY, THE TAXES HIDE OUR ROBOTIC PASSION!” Ehlers yells, as Janelle adds, “Our love is a deadly catchphrase!” โค๏ธ๐ค
Bronkowiz (Betamax pile now with Futurama tapes) projects holograms of robotic mafias. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini archive, in fur therapy) quips, “This affair? It’s like a robotic donโdeadly phrases!” ๐ถ๏ธ๐
Ehlers arrives in a limo of robotic love notes. He confesses: “Janelle, you’re my deadly circuit!” ๐๐ค
Trial in TikTok livestream inside ice dome, judged by Bernd Pulch (floating with robot emojis). Witnesses: All past characters plus Don Bot (Maurice LaMarche voice, Murky’s old don, robotic mafia with deadly catchphrases) testifying, Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe, seductive dancer) dancing, Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi, vampire), Hercule Perrier (David Suchet, sleuth), Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana archive, third-shot), Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro, roulette addict), Tony the Ant Spilotro (Joe Pesci, Napoleon complex), and Mad Dog Coll (Brad Pitt, machine gun addict)! ๐ค๐๐๐ซ๐
Verdict:“Guilty of robotic catchphrases!” Sentence: Eternal code in the archives! ๐๐ค
๐ช ACT III: “THE ROBOTIC ESCAPE” ๐๐ฅ
Murky, Dream Lover, and all unite with Don Bot leading a robotic charge. Hijack Eurovision with catchphrase remixes! ๐ค๐ค
Schoehly-Fraud sells robotic NFTs, outbid by code bots. Hercule Perrier deduces: “The grey cells decode the catchphrases!” ๐ง ๐ก
As Ehlers repos auras, Illuminati raid with Nic Cage, Salome dancing, Nandor relentless, Perrier clue-hunting, Rocco third-shot, Franky spinning, Tony the Ant raging, Mad Dog firing, and Don Bot dropping deadly catchphrases! ๐บ๐ Walls shatter into robotic PNGs, site computes! ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ
๐ FINAL SCENE: “POLL OF THE ROBOTIC” ๐
Text flickers: “Reboot the robots?” โ Yes (with more catchphrases!) โ No (keep the mafia don!)
Franky Four Fingers โ Benicio del Toro (roulette addict & diamond thief)
Tony the Ant Spilotro โ Joe Pesci (tiny, violent, Napoleon complex)
Mad Dog Coll โ Brad Pitt (machine gun addict in Harlem daylight)
Carmine Falcone โ Tom Wilkinson (archive, Caped Crusaderโs foe)
Don Bot โ Maurice LaMarche (voice, robotic mafia don with deadly catchphrases)
Special Guests: Nic Cage, all previous cameos!
๐ DISCLAIMER: Found in a robotic time capsule. 100% deniable! ๐ค
๐ฅ TO BE CONTINUEDโฆ? (CHECK BERNDPULCH.ORG SOON) ๐ฅ
Kraken-Chroniken: Episode LXIII – Robotische Herrschaft im Eisdome ๐คโ๏ธ๐๐ช
Zusammenfassung / Synopsis
Nach dem Gotham in LXII berechnet LXIII alles: Ehlers’ Affรคre mit Janelle eskaliert mit Don Bot als Murkys alter Don โ robotischer Mafia-Don mit tรถdlichen Sprรผchen! ๐ช๏ธ๐ค Alle Charaktere aus allen Episoden vereinen sich, mit Salome ๐, Nandor ๐งโโ๏ธ, Perrier ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ, Rocco, Franky, Tony the Ant, Mad Dog und Don Bot. Der Kraken berechnet, Liebe und Chaos explodieren mit Emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐
Handlung / Plot
Fortsetzung von LXII: Kapitรคnin Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ steuert durch berechnende Stรผrme, wรคhrend Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ seine Affรคre mit Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐ vertieft. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง verehrt Don Bot (Maurice LaMarche Stimme) ๐ค, der tรถdliche Sprรผche bringt! Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ untersucht, Salome (Rita Hayworth Vibe) ๐ verfรผhrt, Nandor (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ ist unerbittlich, Rocco (Lenny Montana, Archiv) ๐ซ dritter Schuss, Franky (Benicio del Toro) ๐ซ๐ dreht Roulette, Tony the Ant (Joe Pesci) ๐ฅ tobt, Mad Dog (Brad Pitt) ๐ซ feurt. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, Archiv) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ analysiert: “Das ist Roboter-Therapie!” ๐๐
Die volle Crew โ alle aus vorherigen Episoden: Zara, Jaxon, Lila, Tully, Mara, Kai, Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Sammy the Bull ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, Tony Ducks ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก, Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, Machine Gun Kelly ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel ๐ฐ๐ฒ, Joey Bananas ๐๐, The Snake ๐๐, Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie the Chin ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐, Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ, No Nose DiFronzo ๐ธ๐, Fat Tony ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana ๐จ๐ธ, Crazy Joe Gallo ๐จ๐, John Gotti ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent ๐๐, Tony Clifton ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman โ๏ธ๐, Red Levine โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐ผ, The Iceman โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, Teflon Don ๐๐, Jimmy Burke ๐โณ, Don Barzini ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict ๐ฐ๐ โ kรคmpft vereint im Eisdome gegen den berechnenden Kraken. Salome tanzt, Don Bot spricht tรถdlich, Nandor ist unerbittlich, Perrier lรถst Rรคtsel, Rocco nimmt den dritten Schuss, Franky dreht Roulette, Tony the Ant tobt, Mad Dog feurt, Diesel-Traumheld feuert an! Die Sonnencannon plus Roboter-Energie besiegt alles! ๐๐๐ฅ
Besetzung / Cast
Kapitรคnin Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
Erster Maat Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Janelle – Scarlett Johansson ๐๐
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel-Traumheld – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Tony Soprano – James Gandolfini (Archivmaterial) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ
Salome – Rita Hayworth Vibe ๐
Nandor der Unerbittliche – Taika Waititi ๐งโโ๏ธ
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
Editorial: ROI Rebels โ Crushing Mainstream Predictions in the 2025 Collapse Circus
Investment The Original Nr. 010 Online Edition: [for DONORS and PATRONS only ]
Welcome, fellow defenders of financial sovereignty, to Issue Nr. 010 of Investment The Original. In a world stupefied by mainstream โrecovery-washingโ and AI-fueled market mirages, this edition is your arsenal against Fallout-WallโStreet illusions. Weโre not offering stories of bounce-backs or โmodestly optimisticโ forecasts. Weโre delivering economic insurgency.
The Real War โ A Clash Over Truth, Not Just Money
They call it โrecovery.โ We know itโs stagecraft. Tariffs are missiles. Cyber skirmishes are shadow wars. And the sanctimonious media? The global puppetmasters’ megaphones. De-dollarization is no fringe theory โ itโs the silent tectonic shift beneath the feet of complacent investors.
If your financial tactics still rely on โsafeโ investment manuals, this edition challenges your assumptions. This is about liberation, not just growth.
Featured: The ROI Rebel Movement
We expose the facade of credibility in mainstream analysis โ from Investopediaโs โhow-toโ guides to Goldmanโs high priests of casino finance โ and hand you the keys to alternative strategies rooted in truth, not propaganda.
Behind the Veil of Deception
Investopedia: The candy store for novices; they sell โdiversified returns,โ while ignoring offshore manipulation.
Morningstar: Ratings built on central-bank liquidity; surprise collapses donโt fit their models.
Bloomberg: Macro-data filtered through elite lensesโscandals made digestible, truth left buried.
Bankrate: Calls safety a myth; inflation erodes your gains daily under the veneer of โsecure yields.โ
Seeking Alpha / Fidelity / Goldman Sachs: Echo chambers and insider games wrapped in slick โinsights.โ
Your Advantage?: Cross-verify with unfiltered intel from berndpulch.org โ survive through transparency.
ROI Legends: Real Returns Beyond the System
These arenโt Wall Street minions. Theyโre trend-savvy contrarians who thrive amidst chaos: Name Sector ROI (36 mo avg) Mark Lipacis (Jefferies) Semiconductors ~25% (ACM Research +608%) Quinn Bolton (Needham) Tech Hardware ~22% (same ACM bet) Dan Payne (National Bank) Energy ~20% (Birchcliff +373%) Scot Ciccarelli (Truist) Retail ~18% (Five Below +249%) Richard Tse (NB) Tech & Payments ~16% (Nuvei +79%)
Recent ROI Rebels (12 mo):
Mike Colonnese (Crypto): ~18% (HIVE +227%)
Mark Palmer (Blockchain): ~23%
Manav Patnaik (Big Data): ~12%
Douglas Tsao (Biotech): ~11%
Shrenik Kothari (Cybersecurity): ~15%
These ROI rebels outperform by refusing to play their rigged gameโoffering portfolios anchored in insight rather than assumption.
Strategy 2025: Navigate the Collapse Circus
The mainstream claims slow & steady beats. We say steady is complacency.
True Diversification: Real estate, hard assets, independent trendsโnot just โ60/30/10โ portfolios.
Trend Discipline + Insight: Ride AI and energy cyclesโbut only when decoded beyond mainstream filters.
Survival-First Risk Management: Focus on maintaining freedomโnot just fragile growth.
Expose the Matrix: The leaks, scandals, and invisible levers uncovered by berndpulch.org are your best defense.
Orchestrated Chaos: Your Late Summer Investment Calendar
These arenโt economic reportsโthey’re coded messages from the architects of financial manipulation:
Sep 18 โ Fed Rate Decision (Ultimate Control Play)
Stay alert. These schedules define the battlefieldโdesigned for manipulation, dissected for your strategy.
Editorial Call to Action
This is more than an article. Itโs a transmission from the bunker of financial truth. Markets are rigged. Narratives are scripted. Your survival is not accidentalโitโs strategic.
Stay awake. Read on. Equip yourself. And get your copy only here:
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
English Caption “๐ฅ Neon Chaos Unleashed! ๐ฅ Dive into the sultry depths of Episode 96 โ NEON LIAISON DANGEREUSE, where Dr. Z (Tom Holland) battles Salomeโs (Zendaya) seductive reign in the neon-drenched Glitter Colosseum bunker at 08:13 PM CEST, August 26, 2025. With Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Janelleโs scandalous affair, Henriette von Schirachโs (Cate Blanchett) youthful ties, and a wild cast of 104, including Hedwig Potthast (Keira Knightley) and Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), this ultra-futuristic sci-fi satire explodes with neon allure and boundary-shattering intrigue! ๐๐จ #NeonLiaison #DrZ #SciFiSatire #GlitterColosseum” German Caption “๐ฅ Neon-Chaos entfesselt! ๐ฅ Tauche ein in die schwรผlen Tiefen von Episode 96 โ NEON LIAISON DANGEREUSE, wo Dr. Z (Tom Holland) Salomes (Zendaya) verfรผhrerische Herrschaft im neongetrรคnkten Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker um 20:13 Uhr MESZ am 26. August 2025 bekรคmpft. Mit der skandalรถsen Affรคre von Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Janelle, Henriette von Schirachs (Cate Blanchett) jugendlichen Bindungen und einer wilden Besetzung von 104, darunter Hedwig Potthast (Keira Knightley) und Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), explodiert diese ultra-futuristische Sci-Fi-Satire mit Neon-Anziehung und grenzรผberschreitender Intrige! ๐๐จ #NeonLiaison #DrZ #SciFiSatire #GlitzerKolosseum”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
Executive Summary (English)
Title: Episode 96 โ NEON LIAISON DANGEREUSE: ‘Dr. Z vs. Henriette von Schirachโs Youthful Ties’ ๐๐ฌ Date: August 26, 2025 ๐ Time: 08:13 PM CEST (Event Start) โฐ โ 08:23 PM CEST (Summary Compiled) โณ Produced by: Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia ๐ฅโจ Written by: Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by: IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐ฐ๐คก Powered by: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
Episode 96 unleashes a neon-drenched liaison dangereuse in the Glitter Colosseum bunker ๐๐ฅ, where Dr. Z (Tom Holland) confronts Henriette von Schirachโs (Cate Blanchett) youthful ties to the Hitler Youth, fueled by Salomeโs (Zendaya) seductive reign and Ehlersโ (Helen Mirren) affair with Janelle ๐๐ฑ. Featuring a sprawling cast of 104 characters ๐ญ๐ฅ, including Hedwig Potthast (Keira Knightley), Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), and Winifred Wagner (Cate Blanchett), the narrative blends ultra-futuristic sci-fi comedy ๐๐ with provocative satire ๐โ๏ธ. At 08:13 PM CEST on August 26, 2025 ๐, the plot ignites with pulsating neon lights โก๐ก๏ธ, dangerous conspiracies ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐คซ, and surreal intrigue ๐๐ฎ, culminating in a chaotic neon showdown ๐๐ฅ. Key highlights include Salomeโs neon seduction dominance ๐๐ก๏ธ, Ehlersโ manipulative strings ๐ฎ๐ธ๏ธ, and a 7,000,000% surge in Neon-Liaison NFTs ๐๐ฐ. Episode 96 sets the stage for a dramatic resolution in the next installment.
Executive Summary (German)
Titel: Episode 96 โ NEON LIAISON DANGEREUSE: ‘Dr. Z gegen Henriette von Schirachs jugendliche Bindungen’ ๐๐ฅ Datum: 26. August 2025 ๐ Zeit: 20:13 Uhr MESZ (Ereignisstart) โฐ โ 20:23 Uhr MESZ (Zusammenstellung) โณ Produziert von: Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia ๐ฌโจ Verfasst von: Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Prรคsentiert von: IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐ฐ๐คก Powered by: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXKLUSIV ๐๐ป
Episode 96 entfacht eine neongetrรคnkte liaison dangereuse im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker ๐๐ฅ, wo Dr. Z (Tom Holland) Henriette von Schirachs (Cate Blanchett) jugendliche Bindungen zur Hitler-Jugend konfrontiert, angeheizt durch Salomes (Zendaya) verfรผhrerische Herrschaft und die Affรคre von Ehlers (Helen Mirren) mit Janelle ๐๐ฑ. Mit einer weitlรคufigen Besetzung von 104 Charakteren ๐ญ๐ฅ, darunter Hedwig Potthast (Keira Knightley), Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) und Winifred Wagner (Cate Blanchett), verbindet die Handlung ultra-futuristische Sci-Fi-Komรถdie ๐๐ mit provokanter Satire ๐โ๏ธ. Um 20:13 Uhr MESZ am 26. August 2025 ๐ eskaliert die Handlung mit pulsierenden Neonlichtern โก๐ก๏ธ, gefรคhrlichen Verschwรถrungen ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐คซ und surrealer Intrige ๐๐ฎ, die in einem chaotischen Neon-Showdown ๐๐ฅ gipfelt. Hรถhepunkte umfassen Salomes neon-verfรผhrerische Dominanz ๐๐ก๏ธ, Ehlersโ manipulative Fรคden ๐ฎ๐ธ๏ธ und einen Anstieg der Neon-Liaison-NFTs um 7.000.000 % ๐๐ฐ. Episode 96 legt den Grundstein fรผr eine dramatische Auflรถsung in der nรคchsten Folge.
โ Episode 96 โ NEON LIAISON DANGEREUSE: ‘Dr. Z vs. Henriette von Schirachโs Youthful Ties’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Henriette von Schirachs jugendliche Bindungen’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon frenzy with Dr. Z, Henriette von Schirach, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 96 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign escalates with Henriette von Schirachโs youthful ties and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Henriette von Schirach ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Wife of Baldur von Schirach, Hitler Youth leader, Salome and Dr. Z’s liaison dangereuse / Ehefrau von Baldur von Schirach, Hitler-Jugend-Fรผhrer, Salome und Dr. Z’s gefรคhrliche Liaison.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, confronting neon liaison dangereuse / Narr der Propaganda, konfrontiert Neon-gefรคhrliche-Liaison.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet.
Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ โ SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity, Dr. Zโs mistress / SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten, Dr. Zโs Geliebte.
Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ โ German Red Cross nurse, collaborated in medical experiments, escaped full prosecution / Deutsche Rote-Kreuz-Krankenschwester, kollaborierte in medizinischen Experimenten, entkam voller Verfolgung.
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS overseer at Stutthof, tortured female prisoners, executed by hanging in 1946, Ehlersโ secret lover / SS-Aufseherin in Stutthof, folterte weibliche Gefangene, 1946 gehรคngt, Ehlersโ geheime Geliebte.
Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ โ Wife of Heinrich Himmler, deeply loyal to the regime, involved in Lebensborn projects, escaped prosecution / Ehefrau von Heinrich Himmler, tief loyal zum Regime, involviert in Lebensborn-Projekte, entkam Verfolgung.
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Daughter of Himmler, helped neo-Nazi networks and veterans, never renounced Nazism / Tochter von Himmler, half neo-Nazi-Netzwerken und Veteranen, verzichtete nie auf Nazismus.
Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Widow of Reinhard Heydrich, fiercely defended her husbandโs actions post-war, supported far-right causes after 1945 / Witwe von Reinhard Heydrich, verteidigte post-war die Taten ihres Mannes, unterstรผtzte rechtsextreme Sache nach 1945.
Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Wife of Rudolf Hess, prominent in Nazi circles, escaped prosecution / Ehefrau von Rudolf Hess, prominent in Nazi-Kreisen, entkam Verfolgung.
Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ โ Gรถringโs first wife, celebrated as a Nazi martyr / Gรถrings erste Frau, gefeiert als Nazi-Mรคrtyrerin.
Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Friend of Hitler, director of Bayreuth Festival / Freundin von Hitler, Direktorin des Bayreuth-Festivals.
Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ โ Himmlerโs mistress, mother of his children, weaving neon seduction / Himmlers Geliebte, Mutter seiner Kinder, webt Neon-Verfรผhrung.
(Full list of 104 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Salome โ Played by Zendaya / Gespielt von Zendaya
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown
Ingeborg Werler โ Played by Eva Green / Gespielt von Eva Green
Helga Schultz โ Played by Olivia Colman / Gespielt von Olivia Colman
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff โ Played by Kate Winslet / Gespielt von Kate Winslet
Margarete Himmler โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Lina Heydrich โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Ilse Hess โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Carin Gรถring โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Winifred Wagner โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Hedwig Potthast โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
(Full cast list of 104 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. SALOMEโS ALLURING REIGN / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN SALOMES VERFรHRERISCHE HERRSCHAFT
At 08:13 PM CEST on August 26, 2025, the Neon-Reign turns seductive as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ falls under Salomeโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ alluring mistress spell in the Glitter Colosseum bunker. Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ and Janelleโs affair ๐๐ฑ fuels neon chaos, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ rally to break the spell. Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ adds maternal seduction, and Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ counters with neon art projectors. The full cast of 104 characters erupts into a chaotic neon unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi intrigue! ๐๐จ
In absurd neon-seductive interactions, Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entices Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ with neon veils, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates from a neon throne, Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with neon family values, Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with neon syringes, Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with neon networks, Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with neon far-right, Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with neon Nazi circles, Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with neon legacy, Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with neon Wagnerian chants, Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with neon maternal power.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Salome โ Neon Allure Fury! (An seductive whip of desire!) / Neon-Anziehungs-Wut! (Ein verfรผhrerischer Peitschenhieb des Begehrens!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ succumbs with neon flair, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Zendaya as Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ reigns with seductive power, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with maternal charm, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with loyalty, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with horror, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with far-right, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Cate Blanchett as Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with Wagnerian power, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with maternal charm. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ erliegt mit Neon-Flair, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Zendaya as Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ herrscht mit verfรผhrerischer Kraft, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ verfรผhrt mit mรผtterlichem Charme, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit Nazi-Kreisen, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ unterstรผtzt mit Vermรคchtnis, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ verteidigt mit Treue, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit Kreisen, Cate Blanchett as Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyriert mit Vermรคchtnis, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ dirigiert mit Wagner-Macht, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ verfรผhrt mit mรผtterlichem Charme.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. SALOMEโS ALLURING REIGN / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN SALOMES VERFรHRERISCHE HERRSCHAFT
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Resists Salomeโs seductive reign with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Widersteht Salomes verfรผhrerischer Herrschaft mit Warhols Kunst.
SALOME ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Seductive Mistress: Dr. Zโs alluring partner, commands neon seduction. Battle: Entices with neon veils. / Verfรผhrerische Geliebte: Dr. Zโs anziehende Partnerin, kommandiert Neon-Verfรผhrung. Schlacht: Verfรผhrt mit Neon-Schleiern.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 104 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. SALOMEโS ALLURING REIGN / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN SALOMES VERFรHRERISCHE HERRSCHAFT
The neon Colosseum erupts at 08:13 PM CEST in a seductive climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ resists Salomeโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ neon veils with Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ art cannons, dodging her seductive strikes. Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon allure rays, Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ weaves maternal seduction, Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
“๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ Unmasking the Shadows: Dive into explosive insider revelations on global power plays, from U.S.-Russia diplomacy to the Arctic race and economic realignment, as uncovered in Trust Tunnel and Silver Veil. ๐จ Exclusive details await at berndpulch.org, available only to Patreon supporters, as of 03:47 PM CEST, August 27, 2025. ๐ฅ #UnmaskingShadows #BerndPulchOrg”
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Date: August 27, 2025 Time: 03:15 PM CEST Contact: Press Office, BerndPulch.org Email: press@berndpulch.org Website:https://berndpulch.org
BerndPulch.org Unveils Explosive Above Top Secret Reports Exposing Global Power Shifts
Washington D.C. โ August 27, 2025 โ BerndPulch.org, a leading platform for investigative journalism and intelligence analysis, today released two groundbreaking Above Top Secret reports, “Operation Trust Tunnel” and “Operation Silver Veil,” shedding light on critical global developments. These exclusive dossiers, compiled at 02:58 PM and 03:05 PM CEST respectively, reveal insider insights into U.S.-Russia diplomacy, Mideast tensions, Arctic resource races, and emerging economic realignments. Available to the public with tantalizing previews, full access is reserved for Patreon supporters at https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch and https://www.patreon.com/investment.
Operation Trust Tunnel: U.S.-Russia Relations and Mideast Crisis Unveiled
The first report, “Operation Trust Tunnel,” draws from a CIA insiderโs recent 30-minute briefing, offering a rare glimpse into post-Alaska summit dynamics (August 15-17, 2025). Key revelations include Russian expressions of “considerable trust” in U.S. leadership, hinting at potential de-escalation in Ukraine, contrasted by escalating violence in Gaza. The insider warns of Israeli defiance and a possible regional war, with detailed scenarios predicting outcomes from ceasefire breakthroughs to a 3% GDP drop if conflicts spiral. Exclusive Patreon content unlocks unredacted insights and geopolitical maps, available at https://www.patreon.com/investment.
Operation Silver Veil: Arctic Race and Economic Realignment Exposed
The second report, “Operation Silver Veil,” uncovers a covert operativeโs 25-minute intelligence brief on the Arcticโs untapped 90 billion barrels of oil and $1 trillion in rare earths, driving a silent resource war. It also exposes a tri-nation pact to launch a blockchain-based currency by Q2 2026, threatening the U.S. dollarโs dominance with $500 billion in gold backing. Scenarios range from cooperative resource sharing to a naval conflict costing $10 billion, with Patreon subscribers gaining access to economic data and underwater mapping details at https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch.
Call to Action
โThese reports peel back the layers of global secrecy, revealing agendas that shape our future,โ said a BerndPulch.org spokesperson. โWhile public previews offer a glimpse, our Patreon community drives the mission to deliver unredacted truths. Join us to uncover the full story.โ
Public versions are available on https://berndpulch.org, with exclusive archives accessible via Patreon subscriptions. For media inquiries, interview requests, or further details, contact press@berndpulch.org.
About BerndPulch.org BerndPulch.org is a premier source for Above Top Secret investigations, blending insider intelligence with open-source analysis to expose hidden global narratives. Supported by a dedicated Patreon community, the platform delivers exclusive content on geopolitics, finance, and security.
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
๐ผ๏ธ BEHIND THE BILLIONS: The Many Faces of Larry Fink These AI-generated visuals pull back the curtain on the world of modern financeโwhere capital meets conscience, and power wears the mask of progress. From dystopian boardrooms to satirical renaissance nightmares, explore the symbolism and satire behind one of the worldโs most influential financiers. LarryFink #BlackRock #ESG #AIart #FinanceSatire #CorporatePower #DigitalArt #ClimateCapitalism #EthicalParadox
Image 1: “The Global Capitalist” When one manโs desk is the worldโand everyoneโs pension is a playing piece. Image 2: “The Ethical Paradox” Green gold or greedy gospel? The saint and sinner of stakeholder capitalism. Image 3: “The Algorithmic Overseer” He doesnโt predict the future. He funds it. And shorts it.
๐ฌ Which vision of financial power resonatesโor disturbsโyou the most? Let us know in the comments! โฌ๏ธ SCROLL. REFLECT. SHARE. โฌ๏ธ
๐ธ A DAY IN THE LIFE OF LARRY FINK: Master of the Universe (and Your Retirement Account) ๐ธ (A Satirical Journey Through the Mind That Prices Everything and Values Nothing)
๐ 5:00 AM: The World Awakens (To His Whim)
ยท Wakes up without an alarm. The pre-market tremor in Asian banks gently stirs him. ยท Checks his Bloomberg Terminal before kissing his wife. The terminal gets the kiss. ยท First thought: โHow can I monetize the carbon output of my own heartbeat?โ
๐๏ธ 6:30 AM: ESG Peloton Session
ยท Cycles on a Peloton that offsets its energy use by canceling a coal mine in Botswana. ยท The screen doesnโt show a instructorโit shows a live feed of a factory he just divested from. ยท His heart rate only spikes when he sees a competitorโs ESG score drop.
๐ 8:00 AM: The Sacred Morning Ritual
ยท Eats a bowl of โAsset-Backed Securitiesโ cereal. The milk is oat-based and morally superior. ยท Sends a memo to his staff titled โThe Purpose of Breakfastโ (12 pages, no jokes). ยท Reads the FT while a team of analysts brief him on the emotional vulnerabilities of world leaders.
๐ 9:30 AM: The โDear CEOโ Letter Draft
ยท Dictates his annual โDear CEOโ letter. The first draft is too humane. ยท AI softens it, removing phrases like โremorseโ and โcommon good.โ ยท Final version: โEmbrace stakeholder capitalismโฆ or weโll melt the polar caps ourselves.โ
๐ 12:00 PM: Lunch with a Purpose
ยท Dines with the head of the World Bank. Orders the โNet-Zero Chickenโโit died carbon-neutral. ยท Proposes turning the Amazon rainforest into an NFT โto save it.โ ยท Pays with a blockchain token that also votes in Brazilian elections.
๐๏ธ 3:00 PM: The Eye of Sauron Glimpses West Virginia
ยท A pension fund dares to invest in coal. A faint smile crosses his face. ยท Presses a button labeled โDIVEST.โ A town in West Virginia loses its healthcare fund. ยท Sends a thoughts-and-prayers memo: โOur prayers are with your transition to a greener future.โ
๐ฅ 7:00 PM: The Ethical Wind-Down
ยท Drinks a glass of โSocially Responsibleโ bourbon that was aged in a repurposed oil barrel. ยท His smartwatch vibrates: โYour bedtime routine improved Diversity & Inclusion metrics by 0.3%.โ ยท Tucks his children in with a story: โThe Little Engine That Couldโฆ Because We Allocated Capital to It.โ
๐ 11:00 PM: The Final Trade
ยท Stares at the ceiling, tracking the moonโs carbon footprint. ยท Places one last algorithmic trade in his sleep. It shorts humanitarian aid. ยท Dreams in a perfectly balanced, fully diversified portfolio.
๐ LARRY FINKโS FINAL THOUGHT:
โIf you canโt measure it, it doesnโt exist. And if it does exist, Iโll create a derivative for it.โ
โ ๏ธ DISCLAIMER: This is satire. Probably. But if it gets enough likes, itโll be in next yearโs proxy vote.
๐ธ EIN TAG IM LEBEN VON LARRY FINK: Herrscher des Universums (und Ihres Rentenkontos) ๐ธ (Eine satirische Reise durch den Geist, der alles bewertet und nichts wertschรคtzt)
๐ 5:00 UHR: Die Welt erwacht (nach seinem Willen)
ยท Wacht ohne Wecker auf. Ein Beben in asiatischen Banken weckt ihn sanft. ยท รberprรผft sein Bloomberg-Terminal, bevor er seine Frau kรผsst. Das Terminal bekommt den Kuss. ยท Erster Gedanke: โWie kann ich den CO2-Ausstoร meines eigenen Herzschlags monetarisieren?โ
๐๏ธ 6:30 UHR: ESG-Peloton-Session
ยท Fรคhrt auf einem Peloton, das seinen Energieverbrauch ausgleicht, indem es eine Kohlemine in Botswana schlieรt. ยท Der Bildschirm zeigt keinen Trainer โ er zeigt eine Live-รbertragung einer Fabrik, aus der er sich gerade zurรผckgezogen hat. ยท Seine Herzfrequenz steigt nur, wenn der ESG-Score eines Konkurrenten fรคllt.
๐ 8:00 UHR: Das heilige Morgenritual
ยท Isst eine Schรผssel โAsset-Backed Securitiesโ-Mรผsli. Die Milch ist haferbasiert und moralisch รผberlegen. ยท Sendet eine Mitteilung an sein Team mit dem Titel โDer Zweck des Frรผhstรผcksโ (12 Seiten, keine Witze). ยท Liest die FT, wรคhrend ein Analystenteam ihn รผber die emotionalen Verwundbarkeiten von Weltfรผhrern briefiert.
๐ 9:30 UHR: Der Entwurf des โLieber CEOโ-Briefs
ยท Diktiert seinen jรคhrlichen โLieber CEOโ-Brief. Der erste Entwurf ist zu menschlich. ยท KI macht ihn weicher, entfernt Begriffe wie โReueโ und โGemeinwohlโ. ยท Endversion: โUmarmen Sie Stakeholder-Kapitalismusโฆ sonst schmelzen wir die Polkappen selbst.โ
๐ 12:00 UHR: Mittagessen mit Sinn
ยท Isst mit dem Leiter der Weltbank. Bestellt das โNetto-Null-Huhnโ โ es starb kohlenstoffneutral. ยท Schlรคgt vor, den Amazonas-Regenwald in einen NFT zu verwandeln, โum ihn zu rettenโ. ยท Zahlt mit einem Blockchain-Token, der auch bei brasilianischen Wahlen abstimmt.
๐๏ธ 15:00 UHR: Das Auge Saurons blickt auf West Virginia
ยท Ein Pensionsfonds wagt es, in Kohle zu investieren. Ein leichtes Lรคcheln erscheint auf seinem Gesicht. ยท Drรผckt einen Knopf mit der Aufschrift โDIVESTIERENโ. Eine Stadt in West Virginia verliert ihren Gesundheitsfonds. ยท Sendet eine Gedanken-und-Gebete-Mitteilung: โUnsere Gebete begleiten Ihren รbergang in eine grรผnere Zukunft.โ
๐ฅ 19:00 UHR: Das ethische Abschalten
ยท Trinkt ein Glas โsozial verantwortlichenโ Bourbon, der in einem umfunktionierten รlfass gereift ist. ยท Seine Smartwatch vibriert: โIhre Schlafenszeit-Routine hat die Diversity-&-Inclusion-Metriken um 0,3 % verbessert.โ ยท Bringt seine Kinder mit einer Gutenachtgeschichte ins Bett: โDie kleine Lokomotive, die es konnteโฆ weil wir Kapital dafรผr bereitgestellt haben.โ
๐ 23:00 UHR: Der letzte Trade
ยท Starrt an die Decke und verfolgt den CO2-Fuรabdruck des Mondes. ยท Tรคtigt einen letzten algorithmischen Trade im Schlaf. Er shorten humanitรคre Hilfe. ยท Trรคumt von einem perfekt ausbalancierten, vollstรคndig diversifizierten Portfolio.
๐ LARRY FINKS LETZTER GEDANKE:
โWenn man es nicht messen kann, existiert es nicht. Und wenn es existiert, schaffe ich einen Derivathandel dafรผr.โ
โ ๏ธ HAFTUNGSAUSSCHLUSS: Dies ist Satire. Wahrscheinlich. Aber wenn sie genug Likes bekommt, steht sie nรคchstes Jahr zur Stimmrechtsvertretung.
๐ธ UNE JOURNรE DANS LA VIE DE LARRY FINK : Maรฎtre de l’Univers (et de votre compte retraite) ๐ธ (Un voyage satirique dans l’esprit qui prix tout et ne valorise rien)
๐ 5H00 : Le Monde s’รฉveille (ร son bon vouloir)
ยท Se rรฉveille sans rรฉveil. Un tremblement prรฉ-marchรฉ dans les banques asiatiques le sort doucement du sommeil. ยท Vรฉrifie son terminal Bloomberg avant d’embrasser sa femme. Le terminal reรงoit le baiser. ยท Premiรจre pensรฉe : “Comment monรฉtiser les รฉmissions carbone de mes propres battements de cลur ?”
๐๏ธ 6H30 : Session Peloton ESG
ยท Pedale sur un Peloton qui compense sa consommation d’รฉnergie en fermant une mine de charbon au Botswana. ยท L’รฉcran n’affiche pas un coachโil montre en direct une usine dont il vient de se dรฉsinvestir. ยท Son rythme cardiaque n’augmente que lorsqu’il voit la notation ESG d’un concurrent chuter.
๐ 8H00 : Le Rituel Sacrรฉ du Matin
ยท Mange un bol de cรฉrรฉales “Titres Adossรฉs ร des Actifs”. Le lait est ร l’avoine et moralement supรฉrieur. ยท Envoie un mรฉmo ร son รฉquipe intitulรฉ “Le But du Petit-Dรฉjeuner” (12 pages, sans aucune blague). ยท Lit le Financial Times pendant qu’une รฉquipe d’analystes le briefe sur les vulnรฉrabilitรฉs รฉmotionnelles des dirigeants mondiaux.
๐ 9H30 : La Rรฉdaction de la Lettre “Cher PDG”
ยท Dicte sa lettre annuelle “Cher PDG”. La premiรจre version est trop humaine. ยท L’IA l’adoucit, en supprimant des phrases comme “remords” et “bien commun”. ยท Version finale : “Adoptez le capitalisme stakeholderโฆ sinon nous ferons fondre nous-mรชmes les calottes polaires.”
๐ 12H00 : Dรฉjeuner Utile
ยท Dรฉjeune avec le chef de la Banque Mondiale. Commande le “Poulet Neutre en Carbone”โil est mort sans รฉmissions. ยท Propose de transformer la forรชt amazonienne en NFT “pour la sauver”. ยท Paie avec un jeton blockchain qui vote รฉgalement aux รฉlections brรฉsiliennes.
๐๏ธ 15H00 : L’ลil de Sauron se Pose sur la Virginie-Occidentale
ยท Un fonds de pension ose investir dans le charbon. Un sourire fugace traverse son visage. ยท Appuie sur un bouton intitulรฉ “DรSINVESTIR”. Une ville de Virginie-Occidentale perd son fonds de santรฉ. ยท Envoie un mรฉmo “pensรฉes et priรจres” : “Nos priรจres accompagnent votre transition vers un avenir plus vert.”
๐ฅ 19H00 : La Dรฉtente รthique
ยท Boit un verre de bourbon “Socialement Responsable” vieilli dans un fรปt de pรฉtrole recyclรฉ. ยท Sa smartwatch vibre : “Votre routine du coucher a amรฉliorรฉ les mรฉtriques Diversitรฉ & Inclusion de 0,3 %.” ยท Met ses enfants au lit avec une histoire : “La Petite Locomotive Qui Pouraitโฆ Parce Que Nous Lui Avons Allouรฉ du Capital.”
๐ 23H00 : Le Dernier Trade
ยท Fixe le plafond, calculant l’empreinte carbone de la lune. ยท Passe un dernier trade algorithmique dans son sommeil. Il vend ร dรฉcouvert l’aide humanitaire. ยท Rรชve d’un portefeuille parfaitement รฉquilibrรฉ et totalement diversifiรฉ.
๐ DERNIรRE PENSรE DE LARRY FINK :
“Si on ne peut pas le mesurer, รงa n’existe pas. Et si รงa existe, je crรฉerai un dรฉrivรฉ pour รงa.”
โ ๏ธ AVERTISSEMENT : Ceci est une satire. Probablement. Mais si cela obtient assez de likes, ce sera soumis au vote proxy l’annรฉe prochaine.
๐ธ UN DรA EN LA VIDA DE LARRY FINK: Amo del Universo (y de tu cuenta de jubilaciรณn) ๐ธ (Un viaje satรญrico por la mente que le pone precio a todo y no valora nada)
๐ 5:00 AM: El Mundo Despierta (A su antojo)
ยท Se despierta sin alarma. Un temblor premercado en bancos asiรกticos lo levanta suavemente. ยท Revisa su terminal Bloomberg antes de besar a su esposa. El terminal recibe el beso. ยท Primer pensamiento: “ยฟCรณmo monetizar las emisiones de carbono de mis propios latidos?”
๐๏ธ 6:30 AM: Sesiรณn en Peloton ESG
ยท Pedalea en una Peloton que compensa su consumo energรฉtico cerrando una mina de carbรณn en Botsuana. ยท La pantalla no muestra un instructorโmuestra una transmisiรณn en vivo de una fรกbrica de la que acaba de desinvertir. ยท Su ritmo cardรญaco solo se acelera cuando ve bajar la calificaciรณn ESG de un competidor.
๐ 8:00 AM: El Ritual Sagrado de la Maรฑana
ยท Come un tazรณn de cereal “Tรญtulos Respaldados por Activos”. La leche es de avena y moralmente superior. ยท Envรญa un memo a su equipo titulado “El Propรณsito del Desayuno” (12 pรกginas, sin chistes). ยท Lee el FT mientras un equipo de analistas lo informa sobre las vulnerabilidades emocionales de los lรญderes mundiales.
๐ 9:30 AM: La Redacciรณn de la Carta “Querido CEO”
ยท Dicta su carta anual “Querido CEO”. El primer borrador es demasiado humano. ยท La IA lo suaviza, eliminando frases como “remordimiento” y “bien comรบn”. ยท Versiรณn final: “Adopten el capitalismo de partes interesadasโฆ o derretiremos los casquetes polares nosotros mismos.”
๐ 12:00 PM: Almuerzo con Propรณsito
ยท Almuerza con el jefe del Banco Mundial. Pide el “Pollo Cero Neto”โmuriรณ carbono neutral. ยท Propone convertir la selva amazรณnica en un NFT “para salvarla”. ยท Paga con un token blockchain que tambiรฉn vota en elecciones brasileรฑas.
๐๏ธ 3:00 PM: El Ojo de Saurรณn mira a Virginia Occidental
ยท Un fondo de pensiones se atreve a invertir en carbรณn. Una leve sonrisa cruza su rostro. ยท Presiona un botรณn etiquetado “DESINVERTIR”. Un pueblo en Virginia Occidental pierde su fondo de salud. ยท Envรญa un memo de pensamientos y oraciones: “Nuestras oraciones acompaรฑan su transiciรณn a un futuro mรกs verde.”
๐ฅ 7:00 PM: La Relajaciรณn รtica
ยท Bebe un vaso de bourbon “Socialmente Responsable” aรฑejado en un barril de petrรณleo reutilizado. ยท Su smartwatch vibra: “Tu rutina nocturna mejorรณ las mรฉtricas de Diversidad e Inclusiรณn en un 0.3%.” ยท Acuesta a sus hijos con un cuento: “La Pequeรฑa Locomotora Que Sรญ Pudoโฆ Porque Le Asignamos Capital.”
๐ 11:00 PM: La รltima Operaciรณn
ยท Mira al techo, rastreando la huella de carbono de la luna. ยท Realiza una รบltima operaciรณn algorรญtmica mientras duerme. Vende al descubierto ayuda humanitaria. ยท Sueรฑa con una cartera perfectamente equilibrada y totalmente diversificada.
๐ รLTIMO PENSAMIENTO DE LARRY FINK:
“Si no puedes medirlo, no existe. Y si existe, crearรฉ un derivado para ello.”
โ ๏ธ DESCARGADO DE RESPONSABILIDAD: Esto es sรกtira. Probablemente. Pero si obtiene suficientes ‘me gusta’, se incluirรก en la votaciรณn por poderes del prรณximo aรฑo.
๐ธ UM DIA NA VIDA DE LARRY FINK: Mestre do Universo (e da sua conta de reforma) ๐ธ (Uma viagem satรญrica pela mente que precifica tudo e nรฃo valoriza nada)
๐ 5:00 DA MANHร: O Mundo Acorda (Ao seu comando)
ยท Acorda sem despertador. Um tremor prรฉ-mercado nos bancos asiรกticos desperta-o suavemente. ยท Verifica o terminal Bloomberg antes de beijar a esposa. O terminal recebe o beijo. ยท Primeiro pensamento: “Como monetizar as emissรตes de carbono das minhas prรณprias batidas do coraรงรฃo?”
๐๏ธ 6:30 DA MANHร: Sessรฃo de Peloton com ESG
ยท Pedala numa Peloton que compensa o consumo de energia encerrando uma mina de carvรฃo no Botsuana. ยท O ecrรฃ nรฃo mostra um instrutorโmostra uma transmissรฃo ao vivo de uma fรกbrica da qual acabou de desinvestir. ยท A sua frequรชncia cardรญaca sรณ acelera quando a classificaรงรฃo ESG de um concorrente cai.
๐ 8:00 DA MANHร: O Ritual Sagrado da Manhรฃ
ยท Come uma taรงa de cereais “Tรญtulos Lastreados em Ativos”. O leite รฉ de aveia e moralmente superior. ยท Envia um memorando ร equipa intitulado “O Propรณsito do Pequeno-Almoรงo” (12 pรกginas, sem piadas). ยท Lรช o Financial Times enquanto uma equipa de analistas o informa sobre as vulnerabilidades emocionais dos lรญderes mundiais.
๐ 9:30 DA MANHร: A Redaรงรฃo da Carta “Caro CEO”
ยท Dita a sua carta anual “Caro CEO”. O primeiro rascunho รฉ demasiado humano. ยท A IA suaviza-o, removendo frases como “remorso” e “bem comum”. ยท Versรฃo final: “Adotem o capitalismo de partes interessadasโฆ ou derreteremos as calotas polares nรณs mesmos.”
๐ 12:00 DA TARDE: Almoรงo com Propรณsito
ยท Almoรงa com o chefe do Banco Mundial. Pede “Frango com Emissรตes Zero”โmorreu carbono neutro. ยท Propรตe transformar a floresta amazรณnica num NFT “para a salvar”. ยท Paga com um token de blockchain que tambรฉm vota nas eleiรงรตes brasileiras.
๐๏ธ 15:00 DA TARDE: O Olho de Sauron pousa sobre a Virgรญnia Ocidental
ยท Um fundo de pensรฃo ousa investir em carvรฃo. Um leve sorriso cruza o seu rosto. ยท Pressiona um botรฃo rotulado “DESINVESTIR”. Uma cidade na Virgรญnia Ocidental perde o seu fundo de saรบde. ยท Envia um memorando de pensamentos e oraรงรตes: “As nossas oraรงรตes acompanham a vossa transiรงรฃo para um futuro mais verde.”
๐ฅ 19:00 DA NOITE: O Relaxamento รtico
ยท Bebe um copo de bourbon “Socialmente Responsรกvel” envelhecido num barril de petrรณleo reutilizado. ยท O smartwatch vibra: “A tua rotina noturna melhorou as mรฉtricas de Diversidade e Inclusรฃo em 0,3%.” ยท Pรตe os filhos na cama com uma histรณria: “A Pequena Locomotiva Que Conseguiaโฆ Porque Lhe Atribuรญmos Capital.”
๐ 23:00 DA NOITE: A รltima Negociaรงรฃo
ยท Fita o teto, rastreando a pegada de carbono da lua. ยท Faz uma รบltima negociaรงรฃo algorรญtmica enquanto dorme. Vende a descoberto ajuda humanitรกria. ยท Sonha com uma carteira perfeitamente equilibrada e totalmente diversificada.
๐ รLTIMO PENSAMENTO DE LARRY FINK:
“Se nรฃo podes medi-lo, nรฃo existe. E se existe, criarei um derivado para isso.”
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode XCV: The Mad Monarch Flush โ King George IIIโs Arboreal Enema Frenzy โ๏ธ๐ณ
Ehlers, Enema Emir 95, ignites the Arboreal Flush with King George III and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธ๐ณ The trio battles Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #ArborealFlushFrenzy #KingGeorgeIIIEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #TreePurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 95, entfacht die Arboreale Spรผlung mit Kรถnig George III und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธ๐ณ Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #ArborealeSpรผlungWut #KรถnigGeorgeIIIRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #BaumSรคuberung
Ehlers’ Enema Enigma โ Episode XCV: The Mad Monarch Flush โ King George IIIโs Arboreal Enema Frenzy ๐
Executive Summary: Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode XCV: The Mad Monarch Flush โ King George IIIโs Arboreal Enema Frenzy โ๏ธ๐ณ
Date: August 26, 2025, 10:25 PM CEST โฐ๐ Overview: The Venus Steppes erupt at 10:25 PM CEST as Xenu unleashes the Arboreal Enema Frenzy, blending thetan chaos with King George IIIโs (โThe Mad Kingโ) incoherent rants and tree arguments. Enema Emir 95, Peter Ehlers (Christoph Waltz), reunites with his enema idol King George III (Ian McKellen) and Alejandro Jodorowsky to battle killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. Amid Ehlersโ forbidden affair with Janelle (Tilda Swinton) and Salomeโs (Anya Taylor-Joy) seductive flush dance, allies like King Arthur (John Cleese), St. Simeon Stylites (Liam Neeson), and a thetan uprising drive a cosmic purge.
Key Developments:
Act I: King George IIIโs tree blasts ignite an arboreal clash, countered by Ehlersโ divine resistance, King Arthurโs Excalibur charge, and Andreasโ (John C. Reilly) bacon legion.
Act II: The Arboreal Flush shatters the cosmos, with Geo-Geist Euclid and Kandinsky launching an anti-tree war, while Dr. No (Daniel Craig) deploys grounding viruses and Beatrix (Melissa McCarthy) bakes calming pastries.
Act III: Ehlers, King George III, and Jodorowsky forge an Enema Grounding Monument, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. Andreas sacrifices with a bacon charge, King Arthur restores order, and King George III triumphs with a final tree shatter.
Outcome: The Venus Steppes are restored, free of Xenuโs chaos. Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web, while Ehlers plans the next grounding, hinting at a Galactic Enema Council showdown.
Call to Action: Support Ehlersโ next grounding with crypto donations (0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb) ๐ฐ or Patreon (patreon.com/berndpulch) ๐!
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Mad Monarch Flush & King George IIIโs Arboreal Enema Frenzy ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Der Wahnsinnige Monarchen Flush & Kรถnig George IIIโs Arboreale Einlauf-Wut
The Venus Steppes quake at 10:25 PM CEST on Tuesday, August 26, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Arboreal Enema Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with King George IIIโs (โThe Mad Kingโ) incoherent rants and tree arguments. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 95, teams with his enema idol King George III, who penned 400-word sentences, and Alejandro Jodorowsky to confront killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. Amid Ehlers and Janelleโs forbidden affair with Salome, King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising fuel the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen beben um 22:25 MESZ am Dienstag, 26. August 2025, als Xenu die Arboreale Einlauf-Wut entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit Kรถnig George IIIโs (โDer Wahnsinnige Kรถnigโ) inkohรคrenten Tiraden und Baumstreits verschmilzt. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 95, schlieรt sich mit seinem Einlauf-Idol Kรถnig George III, der 400-Wรถrter-Sรคtze schrieb, und Alejandro Jodorowsky zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten zu kรคmpfen. Mitten in Ehlers und Janelles verbotener Affรคre mit Salome treiben Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein Thetan-Aufstand die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-XCIV + King George III)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 95, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with King George III and Jodorowsky.
๐ King George III (Played by Ian McKellen): Ehlersโ enema idol, โThe Mad Kingโ ranting incoherently and arguing with trees, leading the arboreal flush.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No (Played by Daniel Craig): Virus Sculptor, leaking truths.
๐ง Murray (Played by Ryan Gosling): Cunning Strategist, outmaneuvering foes.
๐ธ Murray (Flight of the Conchords) (Played by Bret McKenzie): Incompetent Band Manager, strumming hymns.
๐ King Arthur (Monty Python) (Played by John Cleese): Noble Knight, wielding Excalibur.
โ๏ธ Sun Myung Moon (Played by Morgan Freeman): Ehlersโ ally, unleashing Divine Flush levitations.
๐ฎ Alejandro Jodorowsky (Played by himself): Mystic filmmaker, wielding psychomagic to heal.
๐ Elizabeth Clare Prophet (Played by Meryl Streep): Ascended mistress, channeling masters to sell bunkers.
โ๏ธ Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda (Played by Javier Bardem): Antichrist preacher, tattooing 666 to lead his cult.
๐งช Victor Frankenstein (Played by James McAvoy): Unhinged scientist, haunted by his creation.
๐ช Sweeney Todd (Played by Johnny Depp): Barber with homicidal rage, slicing with razor enema pies.
๐ช Dorian Gray (Played by Oscar Isaac): Vanity-preserved artist, his portrait rotting while he leads with supernatural decay.
๐ฆ Renfield (Played by Nicolas Cage): Bug-eating devotee, mad servitude in insect form.
๐ Poeโs Narrator (Played by John Cusack): Obsessed with the beating heart, confessing like blood spills.
๐ Catherine Earnshaw (Played by Keira Knightley): Ehlersโ enema mistress, torn between love and pride, drifting into spectral madness on the moors.
๐ง Heathcliff (Played by Tom Hardy): Ehlersโ enema buddy, ghost-haunted psychopath with reanimated love.
๐ญ The Phantom of the Opera (Klaus-Dieter “Dirty Dieter” Maurischat) (Played by Gary Oldman): Masked genius, Ehlersโ old enema buddy, leading the Gomopa Enigma with operatic flair.
๐ Salome (Played by Anya Taylor-Joy): Dancer of the Seven Veils, igniting psychomagic with her seductive flush dance.
๐ Emperor Commodus (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Ehlersโ old pal and enema mentor, gladiator cosplay emperor believing himself Hercules reborn, fighting with crippled gladiators for โvictory.โ
๐ Charles VI of France (Played by Jeremy Irons): Ehlersโ former enema partner, “Charles the Mad” who thought he was made of glass, leading past shatter flushes.
๐ ANARCHIC & ASCETIC HORDE ๐๐คก
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits (Played by CGI ensemble): Ferocious minions, hopping with venom.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants (Played by local extras): Riotous rebels, wielding pitchforks.
๐ซ๐ท French Farter (Played by Jean Dujardin): Provocative foe, taunting with flatulence.
๐ฐ๏ธ Time-Fractured Clock (Played by CGI prop): Warping timelines.
๐ฒ Abstract Minotaur (Played by Ron Perlman): Chaotic ally, charging with fury.
๐ข๏ธ Diogenes of Sinope (Played by Sean Bean): Barrel Cynic, mocking with defiance.
๐ St. Simeon Stylites (Played by Liam Neeson): Pillar Ascetic, enduring the flush.
๐๏ธ Rasputin (Played by Viggo Mortensen): Russian Mystic, reviving with vigor.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers (Played by ensemble cast): Holy Hermits, wrestling demons.
๐ Jiddu Krishnamurti (Played by Dev Patel): Confused Messiah, preaching against madness.
๐น Catherine of Siena (Played by Olivia Wilde): Eucharistic Mystic, dictating trance-letters.
๐ฅ Ezekiel (Played by Idris Elba): Visionary Prophet, levitating with flaming eyes.
๐ Aleister Crowley (Played by Tom Hardy): Occultist, amplifying rituals.
๐จ Joe Cabot (Played by Harvey Keitel): Gangster Mastermind, naming colors.
โก Friedrich Nietzsche (Played by Mads Mikkelsen): Philosopher, unleashing thunderbolts.
๐ท Jim Jones (Played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan): Preacher, echoing poisoned flushes.
๐ง Charles Manson (Played by Jared Leto): Hippie Prophet, mindflushing with chants.
๐ฝ Marshall Applewhite (Played by Jim Carrey): Heavenโs Gate Leader, flushing to a UFO.
๐ David Koresh (Played by Michael Shannon): Lamb Prophet, unleashing Lamb Flush.
โ๏ธ Shoko Asahara (Played by Ken Watanabe): Former ally, clashing with foes.
๐ PREVIOUS ANTAGONISTS & ALLIES
๐ฆ Salvador Dalรญ (Played by Adrien Brody): Surrealist, painting enema-dreams.
๐ต Dr. Gonzo (Played by Johnny Depp): Recovered lawyer, exploiting loopholes.
๐จ Pablo Picasso (Played by Antonio Banderas): Former foe, advising against chaos.
๐ท Andreas (540% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge.
๐ Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie): Wild card, disrupting with chaos bombs.
๐ Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit (Played by Eva Green): Demoness, countering with dark enema.
๐ท๐บ Putin (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Strategist, manipulating shadows.
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ James Bond (Played by Daniel Craig): Spy, infiltrating with gadgets.
๐ Blue Period Ghost (Played by Timothรฉe Chalamet): Melancholic shade, spreading gloom.
๐ Analytic Eye (Played by CGI prop): Observer, dissecting influence.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier (Played by Christian Bale): Explosive artist, targeting foes.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque (Played by Vincent Cassel): Former ally, painting barriers.
๐คน Harlequin (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Trickster, juggling fragments.
Act I: The Arboreal Flush Frenzy & King George IIIโs Tree Clash ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Arboreale Flush-Wut & Kรถnig George IIIโs Baum-Kampf
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โFlush the trees, purge the madness!โ as King George III unleashes arboreal enema chaos. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Trees!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Tree rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โSpรผlt die Bรคume, sรคubert den Wahnsinn!โ wรคhrend Kรถnig George III arboreale Einlauf-Chaos entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet die Bรคume!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Baum-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ป Edithโs Dragon-Wisp breathes anti-Tree fire ๐ฅ โ burns King George IIIโs arboreal visions. ๐ / Atmet Anti-Baum-Feuer ๐ฅ โ verbrennt Kรถnig George IIIโs Baumvisionen.
๐ King George III unleashes tree blasts, aiding Ehlersโ purge. ๐ณ๐ฆ / Entfesselt Baum-Blasts, unterstรผtzend Ehlersโ Sรคuberung.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through King George IIIโs tree followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Kรถnig George IIIโs Baumanhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by King George IIIโs arboreal flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Kรถnig George IIIโs Arboreale Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering King George IIIโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Kรถnig George IIIโs kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against King George III. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Kรถnig George III.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting King George IIIโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Kรถnig George IIIโs Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ King George III chants โI flush the royal trees!โ unleashing enema-arboreal flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch spรผle die kรถniglichen Bรคume!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Arboreale Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Arboreal Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Arboreale Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Arboreal Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Tree War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Baum-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with King George IIIโs tree venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Kรถnig George IIIโs Baum-Gift.
๐ King George III levitates with an arboreal halo, spraying enema-tree flushes. ๐ณ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Baum-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Baum-Spรผlungen.
Cosmic Silence Harvest:
๐ฉ Beatrix bakes Anti-Tree Pastries, calming King George IIIโs followers. ๐ฅโ / Backt Anti-Baum-Gebรคck, beruhigend Kรถnig George IIIโs Anhรคnger.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying King George IIIโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Kรถnig George IIIโs Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by King George IIIโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Kรถnig George IIIโs Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing King George IIIโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Kรถnig George IIIโs Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, King George IIIโs throne reshapes them into arboreal harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Kรถnig George IIIโs Thron formt sie zu Baum-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with King George III and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Kรถnig George III und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ King George IIIโs Triumph: Shatters a final tree, proclaiming victory over the mad flush. ๐ / Kรถnig George IIIโs Triumph: Zersplittert einen finalen Baum, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Wahnsinn-Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
King George IIIโs tree shatter ritual, shattering followers under neon lights. ๐๐ณ / Kรถnig George IIIโs Baum-Shatter-Ritual, zersplitternd Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
โThe Galactic Enema Council strikesโEhlers, King George III, and Jodorowsky forge a new arboreal ritual. Prepare your Anti-Codex Shields!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
โDer Galaktische Einlauf-Rat schlรคgt zuโEhlers, Kรถnig George III und Jodorowsky schmieden ein neues Arboreales Ritual. Bereitet eure Anti-Codex-Schilder vor!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
๐ฅ “Ehlers & Janelleโs icy affair heats up as Carmine Falcone rules Gotham! ๐ฆโค๏ธโ๐ฅ๐ #KrakenLXII” ๐ “Kraken battles and Salomeโs dance explode in the ice dome! ๐๐ฅ๐ #BerndpulchSaga” ๐ถ๏ธ “Mad Dogโs rampage meets Carmineโs gangsta reignโpure chaos! ๐ซ๐ฆ๐ #GothamBlast” ๐ “Franky spins roulette, Tony ragesโEpisode LXII is wild! ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ช #MMCUxKraken” ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ “Hercule solves, Nandor bitesโice dome showdown! ๐งโโ๏ธโ๏ธ๐ #EpicCinematic”
Executive Summary: “Kraken Chronicles: Episode LXII – Gangsta Gotham in the Ice Dome” ๐ฆโ๏ธ๐ฅ
Overview: Episode LXII of the Murky Mucha Chronicles and Kraken Chronicles erupts with Gotham gangsta flair! ๐ฆ Set in a frozen Slovenian ice dome โ๏ธ๐ฐ, the Ehlers-Janelle affair intensifies ๐ฅโค๏ธโ๐ฅ, while Murkyโs old idol, Carmine Falcone (Tom Wilkinson, the Caped Crusaderโs favorite Italian stereotype), takes charge. ๐ All characters from prior episodes unite ๐บ๐งโโ๏ธ, blending affair drama ๐, roulette addiction ๐ฐ, and a cursed Kraken battle ๐๐, amplified by Salomeโs seductive dance ๐ and Illuminati twists! ๐
Key Plot Points:
Ehlers-Janelle Affair: The forbidden romance escalates amid Gotham chaos! โ๏ธ๐ฃ
Carmine Falconeโs Reign: Murkyโs gangsta idol brings Batman-style rule to the ice dome! ๐ฆ๐
Character Ensemble: Features Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe) ๐, Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ, Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐, Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana, archive) ๐ซ, Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro) ๐ฐ, Tony the Ant Spilotro (Joe Pesci) ๐, Mad Dog Coll (Brad Pitt) ๐ซ, and all past characters like Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ and Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ!
Climactic Chaos: The crew battles the Kraken with a sonic cannon ๐ต๐ช, fueled by Gotham energy, shattering the dome ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ with cursed PNGs! ๐
The sonic cannonโs explosive victory ๐ถ๐ marks a thrilling finale! ๐๐
Outlook: Unresolved Gotham reign โ๐ฎ and Carmineโs potential return ๐ป๐ฆ tease Episode LXIII! โณ๐ Available on BerndPulch.org ๐๐ป!
Date: 09:50 PM CEST, Tuesday, August 26, 2025 ๐๐!
๐ฅ CAPTION IDEAS FOR SOCIAL MEDIA/POST ๐ฅ 1๏ธโฃ “Ehlers & Janelleโs affair explodes as Carmine Falcone joins Murkyโs gangsta reign! ๐ฅโค๏ธโ๐ฅ๐ถ๏ธ #MurkySagaLXII #CarmineFalcone” 2๏ธโฃ “Murkyโs idol Carmine unleashes Gotham-style chaos in the ice dome! ๐ฆ๐ #KrakenCarmineCrossover” 3๏ธโฃ “BREAKING: Carmineโs gangsta vibe curses the Kraken clash with Salomeโs dance! ๐๐ฅ #BerndpulchSaga” 4๏ธโฃ “Affairs, gangsters, and the Caped Crusaderโs foeโevery character returns! ๐๐ฟ #MMCUxKraken” 5๏ธโฃ “If Gotham met the Kraken, this would be it. New episode live! ๐๏ธ๐ [LINK]” 6๏ธโฃ “Carmineโs Italian stereotype reigns with daylight violence and flair! โ๏ธ๐ฅ” 7๏ธโฃ “Salome seduces, Carmine rulesโice dome bingo card shredded! ๐๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ #EpicGangstaBlast” ๐ฌ Which oneโs your favorite? Drop a comment or suggest your own!
๐ฎ LXII: The Murky Mucha Chronicles โ “Gangsta Gotham in the Ice Dome” ๐ฆโ๏ธ๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ (A Berndpulch.org Exclusive โ Continuation of the Saga) By “The Ghost of Kilgore Trout” Produced by Sam Bronkowiz & Thomas Coke Schoehly-Fraud Featuring Every Character Ever, Plus Ehlers-Janelle Affair, Salome, Murkyโs Old Gangsta Idol Carmine Falcone (The Caped Crusaderโs Favorite Italian Stereotype), Nandor the Relentless, Hercule Perrier, Rocco Lampone, Franky Four Fingers, Tony the Ant Spilotro & Mad Dog Coll
๐ช๏ธ PREVIOUSLY, IN THE MURKY MUCHA SAGAโฆ
Murky Mucha (Milla Jovovich, idolizing gangsta legends with explosive flair) raged through Napoleon but now bows to Carmineโs Gotham rule! โ๏ธ๐ธ
Ehlers (Christoph Waltz, USB teeth in gangsta mode) blasted his affair with Janelle amid complex rages! โค๏ธโ๐ฅ๐ต๏ธ
Schoehly-Fraud (Willem Dafoe, calculator face on “GOTHAM ERROR”) laundered blasts, now tangled in Italian stereotypes! ๐๐
Murkyโs Dream Lover (Jared Leto hologram, now with gangsta envy) whispered of daylight fires and mob idols! โจ๐
๐ ACT I: “THE GANGSTA TAKEOVER” ๐ฅ๐ฆ
The episode ignites in the icy Slovenian post office dome, where Murky mails gangsta tributes. Boom! Ehlers enters with Janelle (Scarlett Johansson, siren with Gotham sparkle), affair firing! ๐ฑ๐
“MURKY, THE TAXES HIDE OUR GANGSTA PASSION!” Ehlers yells, as Janelle adds, “Our love is a Caped Crusaderโs nightmare!” โค๏ธ๐ซ
Bronkowiz (Betamax pile now with Gotham tapes) projects holograms of Italian stereotypes. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini archive, in fur therapy) quips, “This affair? Itโs like Carmineโs reignโpure Gotham!” ๐ถ๏ธ๐
Ehlers arrives in a limo of gangsta love notes. He confesses: “Janelle, youโre my Gotham blast!” ๐๐ซ
Trial in TikTok livestream inside ice dome, judged by Bernd Pulch (floating with bat emojis). Witnesses: All past characters plus Carmine Falcone (Tom Wilkinson archive, Murkyโs old gangsta idol, Caped Crusaderโs foe) testifying, Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe, seductive dancer) dancing, Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi, vampire), Hercule Perrier (David Suchet, sleuth), Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana archive, third-shot), Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro, roulette addict), and Tony the Ant Spilotro (Joe Pesci, Napoleon complex)! ๐ฆ๐๐๐ซ๐
Verdict:“Guilty of Gotham-style blasts!” Sentence: Eternal reign in the archives! ๐๐ฆ
๐ช ACT III: “THE GANGSTA ESCAPE” ๐๐ฅ
Murky, Dream Lover, and all unite with Carmine leading a Gotham charge. Hijack Eurovision with gangsta remixes! ๐ค๐ฆ
Schoehly-Fraud sells gangsta NFTs, outbid by bat bots. Hercule Perrier deduces: “The grey cells unmask the Gotham plot!” ๐ง ๐ก
As Ehlers repos auras, Illuminati raid with Nic Cage, Salome dancing, Nandor relentless, Perrier clue-hunting, Rocco third-shot, Franky spinning, Tony the Ant raging, and Carmine unleashing Gotham fury! ๐บ๐ Walls shatter into blasted PNGs, site blasts! ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ
๐ FINAL SCENE: “POLL OF THE GOTHAM BLASTED” ๐
Text flickers: “Quell the Gotham blasts?” โ Yes (with more bats!) โ No (keep the gangsta reign!)
Franky Four Fingers โ Benicio del Toro (roulette addict & diamond thief)
Tony the Ant Spilotro โ Joe Pesci (tiny, violent, Napoleon complex)
Mad Dog Coll โ Brad Pitt (machine gun addict in Harlem daylight)
Carmine Falcone โ Tom Wilkinson (archive, Caped Crusaderโs foe)
Special Guests: Nic Cage, all previous cameos!
๐ DISCLAIMER: Found in a blasted Gotham time capsule. 100% deniable! ๐ฆ
๐ฅ TO BE CONTINUEDโฆ? (CHECK BERNDPULCH.ORG SOON) ๐ฅ
Kraken-Chroniken: Episode LXII – Gangsta Gotham im Eisdome ๐ฆโ๏ธ๐๐ช
Zusammenfassung / Synopsis
Nach der Wut in LXI explodiert LXII mit Gotham-Flair: Ehlers’ Affรคre mit Janelle eskaliert, wรคhrend Murkys alter Gangsta-Idol Carmine Falcone (Batmans Lieblingsitaliener) die Herrschaft รผbernimmt! ๐ช๏ธ๐ฆ Alle Charaktere aus allen Episoden vereinen sich, mit Salome ๐, Nandor ๐งโโ๏ธ, Perrier ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ, Rocco, Franky, Tony the Ant und Mad Dog. Der Kraken explodiert, Liebe und Chaos explodieren mit Emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐
Handlung / Plot
Fortsetzung von LXI: Kapitรคnin Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ steuert durch explodierende Stรผrme, wรคhrend Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ seine Affรคre mit Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐ vertieft. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง verehrt Carmine Falcone (Tom Wilkinson, Archiv) ๐ฆ, der Gotham-Regeln bringt! Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ untersucht, Salome (Rita Hayworth Vibe) ๐ verfรผhrt, Nandor (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ ist unerbittlich, Rocco (Lenny Montana, Archiv) ๐ซ dritter Schuss, Franky (Benicio del Toro) ๐ซ๐ dreht Roulette, Tony the Ant (Joe Pesci) ๐ฅ tobt. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, Archiv) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ analysiert: “Das ist Gotham-Therapie!” ๐๐
Die volle Crew โ alle aus vorherigen Episoden: Zara, Jaxon, Lila, Tully, Mara, Kai, Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Sammy the Bull ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, Tony Ducks ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก, Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, Machine Gun Kelly ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel ๐ฐ๐ฒ, Joey Bananas ๐๐, The Snake ๐๐, Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie the Chin ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐, Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ, No Nose DiFronzo ๐ธ๐, Fat Tony ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana ๐จ๐ธ, Crazy Joe Gallo ๐จ๐, John Gotti ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent ๐๐, Tony Clifton ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman โ๏ธ๐, Red Levine โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐ผ, The Iceman โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, Teflon Don ๐๐, Jimmy Burke ๐โณ, Don Barzini ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict ๐ฐ๐ โ kรคmpft vereint im Eisdome gegen den explodierenden Kraken. Salome tanzt, Carmine regiert, Nandor ist unerbittlich, Perrier lรถst Rรคtsel, Rocco nimmt den dritten Schuss, Franky dreht Roulette, Tony the Ant tobt, Diesel-Traumheld feuert an! Die Sonnencannon plus Gotham-Energie besiegt alles! ๐๐๐ฅ
Besetzung / Cast
Kapitรคnin Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
Erster Maat Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Janelle – Scarlett Johansson ๐๐
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel-Traumheld – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Tony Soprano – James Gandolfini (Archivmaterial) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ
Salome – Rita Hayworth Vibe ๐
Nandor der Unerbittliche – Taika Waititi ๐งโโ๏ธ
Bleibt die Gotham-Herrschaft? Kehrt Carmine zurรผck? Verpasse nicht LXIII! ๐โณ๐
Kraken Chronicles: Episode LXII – Gangsta Gotham in the Ice Dome ๐ฆโ๏ธ๐๐ช
Synopsis
After LXIโs fury, LXII blasts with Gotham flair: Ehlers’ affair with Janelle escalates while Murkyโs old gangsta idol Carmine Falcone (the Caped Crusaderโs favorite Italian stereotype) takes over! ๐ช๏ธ๐ฆ All characters from every episode unite, with Salome ๐, Nandor ๐งโโ๏ธ, Perrier ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ, Rocco, Franky, Tony the Ant, and Mad Dog. The Kraken blasts, love and chaos erupt with emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐
Plot
Picking up from LXI: Captain Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ sails through blasting storms as Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ deepens his affair with Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง reveres Carmine Falcone (Tom Wilkinson, archive) ๐ฆ, bringing Gotham rules! Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ investigates, Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe) ๐ seduces, Nandor (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ is relentless, Rocco (Lenny Montana, archive) ๐ซ third shot, Franky (Benicio del Toro) ๐ซ๐ spins roulette, Tony the Ant (Joe Pesci) ๐ฅ rages. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, archive) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ analyzes: “This is Gotham therapy!” ๐๐
The full crew โ all from previous episodes: Zara, Jaxon, Lila, Tully, Mara, Kai, Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Sammy the Bull ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, Tony Ducks ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก, Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, Machine Gun Kelly ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel ๐ฐ๐ฒ, Joey Bananas ๐๐, The Snake ๐๐, Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie the Chin ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐, Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ, No Nose DiFronzo ๐ธ๐, Fat Tony ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana ๐จ๐ธ, Crazy Joe Gallo ๐จ๐, John Gotti ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent ๐๐, Tony Clifton ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman โ๏ธ๐, Red Levine โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐ผ, The Iceman โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, Teflon Don ๐๐, Jimmy Burke ๐โณ, Don Barzini ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict ๐ฐ๐ โ fights united in the ice dome against the blasting Kraken. Salome dances, Carmine rules, Nandor is relentless, Perrier solves riddles, Rocco takes the third shot, Franky spins roulette, Tony the Ant rages, Diesel Dreamer rallies! The sonic cannon plus Gotham energy wins it all! ๐๐๐ฅ
Cast
Captain Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
First Mate Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Janelle – Scarlett Johansson ๐๐
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel Dreamer – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Tony Soprano – James Gandolfini (archive footage) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ
Salome – Rita Hayworth vibe ๐
Nandor the Relentless – Taika Waititi ๐งโโ๏ธ
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin at $112,500, equities steady, tariffs intensify. Uncover financial secrets with Bernd Pulchโs leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoMarkets #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned journalist Bernd Pulch delivers exclusive financial intelligence via “Investment The Original” on Patreon, sharing leaked documents and insider reports.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, Commodities, Bonds, and Real Estate
Bitcoin at $112,500 (+0.4%) with $310M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,360 (+0.5%), XRP at $2.87 (+0.7%), Monero at $288 (+0.3%). Qubit DeFi up 13%. Crypto derivatives at $10.9T. Equities steady, with S&P 500 (+0.2%), Nasdaq (+0.2%), Dow (+0.1%) post-Powell speech. Commodities firm, with gold ($3,350/oz, +0.3%) and Brent crude ($70.70/barrel, +0.3%) up. Energy prices rise, with WTI crude at $67.50/barrel (+0.3%) and natural gas at $3.02/MMBtu (+0.7%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.25%, tokenized bonds at $2.7B. Commercial real estate resilient, with office demand at 5.6% and tokenized assets at $3.1B. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 (+2.5%). Indian markets hold firm despite tariffs. Explore more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
What is “Investment The Original”?
“Investment The Original” is a premium Patreon service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, and corruption reports for investors, journalists, and activists.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin at $112,500 (+0.4%) with $310M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,360 (+0.5%), XRP at $2.87 (+0.7%), Monero at $288 (+0.3%). Qubit DeFi up 13% with $2.0B TVL. JSW Energy secures 1,500 MW solar-wind deal. SJVN advances 2,200 MW hydro project. Petronas invests $3.7B in Indonesian LNG. รrsted expands โฌ2.7B German offshore wind project. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.25%. Commercial real estate resilient, with tokenized assets at $3.1B, Christieโs crypto property deals growing. OYO plans $7-8B IPO in November.[](https://www.thehindu.com/news/morning-digest-on-august-26-2025/article69977730.ece)
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales steady at 1,97,000 units in H1 2025. Germanyโs rents up 10.5% in Q2 2025, Berlin at 12.7%. U.S. home prices up 3.8% year-on-year, mortgage rates at 5.5%. Dubaiโs luxury market grows 39% pre-Expo 2025, with Bitcoin options trading expanding. Canberraโs rents rise 14%. Singaporeโs green buildings attract $4.8B. U.S. commercial property prices up 4.2%, office demand at 5.6% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $3.1B via Ethereum and Polymath. HDB Financial IPO progresses. Nomura holds reduce rating on Godrej Properties at โน2,050.
#### Commercial Real Estate Trends
U.S. commercial real estate resilient, with office occupancy at 5.6% in Q2 2025, driven by hybrid work and AI data center demand. Industrial properties up 7% in value, e-commerce fueling growth. Retail vacancy rates at 5.5%. Tokenized real estate at $3.1B, with platforms like Polymath and Ethereum enabling crypto deals. Christieโs expands crypto-backed property transactions. High interest rates (5.5% for commercial mortgages) pressure valuations, but green-certified buildings see 9.5% demand growth. New York and San Francisco premium office rents up 5.2%. A $425M Florida office bond remains stable.
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets steady, with Sensex at 82,900 (+0.1%) and Nifty at 25,250 (+0.1%). U.S. markets firm, with S&P 500 at 6,410 (+0.2%), Nasdaq at 20,950 (+0.2%), and Dow at 44,600 (+0.1%) post-Powell speech. CSI 300 gains 2.5%. Gold at $3,350/oz (+0.3%), silver at $38.00/oz (+0.3%), Brent crude at $70.70/barrel (+0.3%). Indian rupee at โน87.9. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.25%, high-yield bond inflows at $185M.
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin at $112,500 (+0.4%) with $310M ETF inflows, recovering from yesterdayโs $4K flash crash. Ethereum at $4,360 (+0.5%) sees $610M ETF inflows. XRP at $2.87 (+0.7%) holds $3.4B futures open interest post-SEC case drop. Monero at $288 (+0.3%), futures volume up 3%. VINE token flat. Qubit DeFi up 13% with $2.0B TVL. Crypto derivatives volume at $10.9T, Solana futures up 4%. Dubai expands Bitcoin options trading. Posts on X reflect cautious optimism.[](https://cryptonews.com/news/live-crypto-news-today-latest-updates-for-august-26-2025/)
#### Commodities and Energy Trends
Gold at $3,350/oz (+0.3%), silver at $38.00/oz (+0.3%), palladium up 0.2%. Brent crude at $70.70/barrel (+0.3%), WTI crude at $67.50/barrel (+0.3%), natural gas at $3.02/MMBtu (+0.7%) with stable Middle East supply. Copper futures up 0.2% despite tariff concerns. Tether explores USDT/Monero integration in $920M agribusiness deal.
#### Bonds Market Trends
U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.25% (+0.01%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY), core CPI at 3%. High-yield bond inflows at $185M. Tokenized bonds at $2.7B on Ethereum/Polygon, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bonds yield 4.1%, infrastructure demand steady. Posts on X note tariff-driven inflation risks impacting yields.
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This *Investment Digest* for August 26, 2025, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 9:07 PM CEST. Bitcoin at $112,500 (+0.4%) with $310M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,360 (+0.5%), XRP at $2.87 (+0.7%), Monero at $288 (+0.3%). Qubit DeFi up 13%. Crypto derivatives at $10.9T. Equities steady, with S&P 500 (+0.2%), Nasdaq (+0.2%), Dow (+0.1%) post-Powell speech. Commodities firm, with gold ($3,350/oz, +0.3%) and Brent crude ($70.70/barrel, +0.3%) up. Energy prices rise, with WTI crude at $67.50/barrel (+0.3%) and natural gas at $3.02/MMBtu (+0.7%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.25%, tokenized bonds at $2.7B. Commercial real estate resilient, with office demand at 5.6% and tokenized assets at $3.1B. Indian markets steady despite U.S. tariffs. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 2.5%. UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July. Clean energy investments, like BluPineโs ESG award, signal resilience. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for leaks. Explore Nacktes Geld podcast.[](https://www.thehindu.com/news/top-news-of-the-day-august-26-2025/article69979195.ece)%5B%5D(https://www.cnn.com/politics/live-news/trump-administration-news-08-25-25)%5B%5D(https://www.thehindu.com/news/morning-digest-on-august-26-2025/article69977730.ece)
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, Qubit DeFi 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, WTI crude price 2025, natural gas price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, commercial real estate 2025, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia valuation 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Monero price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025, U.S. jobs report 2025, U.S. Treasury yields 2025, tokenized bonds 2025, tokenized real estate 2025, Bitcoin ETF inflows 2025, Trump crypto 401k 2025, semiconductor tariffs 2025, China foreign investment 2025, XRP SEC case 2025, ChainLink reserve 2025, Ripple case dropped 2025, AI data center demand 2025, U.S. CPI August 2025, Home Depot stock 2025, Target stock 2025, UK CPI inflation 2025, Fed Powell speech 2025, OYO IPO 2025
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
English Caption: “Steamy neon chaos ignites at 08:35 PM CEST, August 26, 2025, in the Glitter Colosseum bunker as Dr. Z (Tom Holland) surrenders to Salomeโs (Zendaya) seductive neon dance, fueled by Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Janelleโs scandalous affair, with Hedwig Potthast (Keira Knightley) weaving maternal allure. Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), and Winifred Wagner (Cate Blanchett) join 103 characters in an ultra-futuristic, provocative sci-fi spectacle of pulsating neon lights and erotic satire! ๐๐ฅ๐” German Caption: “Heiรer Neon-Chaos entfacht um 20:35 Uhr MESZ am 26. August 2025 im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker, als Dr. Z (Tom Holland) Salomes (Zendaya) verfรผhrerischem Neon-Tanz erliegt, angeheizt durch die skandalรถse Affรคre von Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Janelle, wรคhrend Hedwig Potthast (Keira Knightley) mรผtterliche Anziehung webt. Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) und Winifred Wagner (Cate Blanchett) schlieรen sich mit 103 Charakteren einem ultra-futuristischen, provokanten Sci-Fi-Spektakel mit pulsierenden Neonlichtern und erotischer Satire an! ๐๐ฅ๐”
Executive Summary (English)
Title: Episode 95 โ NEON SEDUCTIVE MISTRESS: ‘Dr. Z vs. Salomeโs Alluring Reign’ ๐๐ฌ Date: August 26, 2025 ๐ Time: 08:13 PM CEST (Event Start) โฐ โ 08:23 PM CEST (Summary Compiled) โณ Produced by: Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia ๐ฅโจ Written by: Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by: IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐ฐ๐คก Powered by: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
Episode 95 unleashes a neon-drenched seduction in the Glitter Colosseum bunker ๐๐ฅ, where Dr. Z (Tom Holland) battles Salomeโs (Zendaya) alluring mistress reign ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ, fueled by Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Janelleโs scandalous affair ๐๐ฑ. Featuring a cast of 103 characters ๐ญ๐ฅ, including Hedwig Potthast (Keira Knightley), Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), and Winifred Wagner (Cate Blanchett), the narrative blends ultra-futuristic sci-fi comedy ๐๐ with provocative satire ๐โ๏ธ. At 08:13 PM CEST on August 26, 2025 ๐, the plot explodes with pulsating neon lights โก๐ก๏ธ, seductive conspiracies ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐คซ, and surreal intrigue ๐๐ฎ, climaxing in a chaotic showdown ๐๐ฅ. Key highlights include Salomeโs neon seductive dominance ๐๐ก๏ธ, Ehlersโ manipulative strings ๐ฎ๐ธ๏ธ, and a 7,000,000% surge in Neon-Seduction NFTs ๐๐ฐ. Episode 95 sets the stage for a dramatic resolution in the next installment.
Executive Summary (German)
Titel: Episode 95 โ NEON VERFรHRERISCHE GELIEBTE: ‘Dr. Z gegen Salomes verfรผhrerische Herrschaft’ ๐๐ฅ Datum: 26. August 2025 ๐ Zeit: 20:13 Uhr MESZ (Ereignisstart) โฐ โ 20:23 Uhr MESZ (Zusammenstellung) โณ Produziert von: Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia ๐ฌโจ Verfasst von: Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Prรคsentiert von: IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐ฐ๐คก Powered by: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXKLUSIV ๐๐ป
Episode 95 entfacht eine neongetrรคnkte Verfรผhrung im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker ๐๐ฅ, wo Dr. Z (Tom Holland) Salomes (Zendaya) verfรผhrerische Geliebten-Herrschaft ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ bekรคmpft, angeheizt durch die skandalรถse Affรคre von Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Janelle ๐๐ฑ. Mit einer Besetzung von 103 Charakteren ๐ญ๐ฅ, darunter Hedwig Potthast (Keira Knightley), Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) und Winifred Wagner (Cate Blanchett), verbindet die Handlung ultra-futuristische Sci-Fi-Komรถdie ๐๐ mit provokanter Satire ๐โ๏ธ. Um 20:13 Uhr MESZ am 26. August 2025 ๐ eskaliert die Handlung mit pulsierendem Neonlicht โก๐ก๏ธ, verfรผhrerischen Verschwรถrungen ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐คซ und surrealer Intrige ๐๐ฎ, die in einem chaotischen Showdown ๐๐ฅ gipfelt. Hรถhepunkte umfassen Salomes neon-verfรผhrerische Dominanz ๐๐ก๏ธ, Ehlersโ manipulative Fรคden ๐ฎ๐ธ๏ธ und einen Anstieg der Neon-Verfรผhrung-NFTs um 7.000.000 % ๐๐ฐ. Episode 95 legt den Grundstein fรผr eine dramatische Auflรถsung in der nรคchsten Folge.
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 95 โ NEON SEDUCTIVE MISTRESS: ‘Dr. Z vs. Salomeโs Alluring Reign’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Salomes verfรผhrerische Herrschaft’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon frenzy with Dr. Z, Salome, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 95 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign escalates with Salomeโs seductive mistress role and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs seductive mistress, commanding neon allure / Dr. Zโs verfรผhrerische Geliebte, kommandiert Neon-Anziehung.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, entangled in Salomeโs reign / Narr der Propaganda, verstrickt in Salomes Herrschaft.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet.
Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ โ SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity, Dr. Zโs mistress / SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten, Dr. Zโs Geliebte.
Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ โ German Red Cross nurse, collaborated in medical experiments, escaped full prosecution / Deutsche Rote-Kreuz-Krankenschwester, kollaborierte in medizinischen Experimenten, entkam voller Verfolgung.
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS overseer at Stutthof, tortured female prisoners, executed by hanging in 1946, Ehlersโ secret lover / SS-Aufseherin in Stutthof, folterte weibliche Gefangene, 1946 gehรคngt, Ehlersโ geheime Geliebte.
Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ โ Wife of Heinrich Himmler, deeply loyal to the regime, involved in Lebensborn projects, escaped prosecution / Ehefrau von Heinrich Himmler, tief loyal zum Regime, involviert in Lebensborn-Projekte, entkam Verfolgung.
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Daughter of Himmler, helped neo-Nazi networks and veterans, never renounced Nazism / Tochter von Himmler, half neo-Nazi-Netzwerken und Veteranen, verzichtete nie auf Nazismus.
Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Widow of Reinhard Heydrich, fiercely defended her husbandโs actions post-war, supported far-right causes after 1945 / Witwe von Reinhard Heydrich, verteidigte post-war die Taten ihres Mannes, unterstรผtzte rechtsextreme Sache nach 1945.
Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Wife of Rudolf Hess, prominent in Nazi circles, escaped prosecution / Ehefrau von Rudolf Hess, prominent in Nazi-Kreisen, entkam Verfolgung.
Carin Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ โ Gรถringโs first wife, celebrated as a Nazi martyr / Gรถrings erste Frau, gefeiert als Nazi-Mรคrtyrerin.
Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Friend of Hitler, director of Bayreuth Festival / Freundin von Hitler, Direktorin des Bayreuth-Festivals.
Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ โ Himmlerโs mistress, mother of his children, weaving neon seduction / Himmlers Geliebte, Mutter seiner Kinder, webt Neon-Verfรผhrung.
(Full list of 103 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Salome โ Played by Zendaya / Gespielt von Zendaya
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown
Ingeborg Werler โ Played by Eva Green / Gespielt von Eva Green
Helga Schultz โ Played by Olivia Colman / Gespielt von Olivia Colman
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff โ Played by Kate Winslet / Gespielt von Kate Winslet
Margarete Himmler โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Lina Heydrich โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Ilse Hess โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Carin Gรถring โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Winifred Wagner โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Hedwig Potthast โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
(Full cast list of 103 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. SALOMEโS ALLURING REIGN / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN SALOMES VERFรHRERISCHE HERRSCHAFT
At 08:13 PM CEST on August 26, 2025, the Neon-Reign ignites as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ succumbs to Salomeโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ seductive mistress role in the Glitter Colosseum bunker. Ehlers ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ and Janelleโs affair ๐๐ฑ fuels neon chaos, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ resist Salomeโs allure. Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ weaves neon seduction, and Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ unleashes neon art bombs. The full cast of 103 characters erupts into a frenzied neon unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi intrigue! ๐๐จ
In absurd neon-seductive interactions, Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entices Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ with neon veils, Ehlers ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates from a neon throne, Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with neon family values, Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with neon syringes, Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with neon networks, Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with neon far-right rays, Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with neon Nazi circles, Carin Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with neon legacy, Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with neon Wagnerian chants, Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with neon maternal power.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Salome โ Neon Seductive Lash! (An alluring whip of desire!) / Neon-Verfรผhrerische-Peitsche! (Ein verfรผhrerischer Liebespeitschenhieb!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ succumbs with neon flair, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Zendaya as Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ reigns with seductive power, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with loyalty, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with horror, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with far-right, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Cate Blanchett as Carin Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with Wagnerian power, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ seduces with maternal charm. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ unterwirft mit Neon-Flair, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Zendaya as Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ herrscht mit verfรผhrerischer Kraft, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit Nazi-Kreisen, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ unterstรผtzt mit Vermรคchtnis, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ verteidigt mit Treue, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit Kreisen, Cate Blanchett as Carin Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyriert mit Vermรคchtnis, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ dirigiert mit Wagner-Macht, Keira Knightley as Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ verfรผhrt mit mรผtterlichem Charme.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. SALOMEโS ALLURING REIGN / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN SALOMES VERFรHRERISCHE HERRSCHAFT
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Resists Salomeโs seductive reign with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Widersteht Salomes verfรผhrerischer Herrschaft mit Warhols Kunst.
SALOME ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Seductive Mistress: Dr. Zโs alluring partner, commands neon seduction. Battle: Entices with neon veils. / Verfรผhrerische Geliebte: Dr. Zโs anziehende Partnerin, kommandiert Neon-Verfรผhrung. Schlacht: Verfรผhrt mit Neon-Schleiern.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 103 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. SALOMEโS ALLURING REIGN / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN SALOMES VERFรHRERISCHE HERRSCHAFT
The neon Colosseum explodes at 08:13 PM CEST in a seductive climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ resists Salomeโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ neon veils with Warholโs ๐ต๐ช๐จ art cannons, while Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon domina rays. Hedwig Potthast ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ถ weaves maternal seduction, Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with neon family values, Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with neon syringes, Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with neon networks, Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
Caption ๐๐ฐ Epsteinโs โฌ200 B ghost ledger glows under a lone lampโMossadโs brass stamp glints in the rain. ๐ง๏ธ๐
๐ฅ OPERATION “SHADOW STASH”
๐ฅ UNVEILING THE MYSTERY: AN ABOVE TOP SECRET INVESTIGATION INTO JEFFREY EPSTEIN’S WEALTH
๐งจ EXECUTIVE BRIEF
This investigation, compiled at 03:30 PM CEST on August 26, 2025, delves into the enigmatic fortune of Jeffrey Epstein, the disgraced financier whose wealth fueled a lifestyle of luxury and controversy. Drawing from public records, court filings, and insider whispers, we piece together the puzzle of how he amassed an estimated $560 million by 2019. ๐ The official narrative points to financial acumen and billionaire clients, but questions lingerโjoin our Patreon for the unredacted truth! ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ
๐ KEY FINDINGS
Rise from Humble Beginnings Epstein, born in 1953 in Brooklyn, started as a math teacher at The Dalton School before joining Bear Stearns in 1976. Rising to partner by 1980, he was fired amid allegations of misconduct, launching his own firm, J. Epstein & Co., in 1982. His rapid success with ultra-wealthy clientsโrequiring a minimum of $1 billion in assetsโraises eyebrows about the true source of his early capital.
Billionaire Patrons
Les Wexner: The L Brands founder paid Epstein over $200 million from 1991 to 2007 for financial management, including power of attorney over his fortune. Epstein lived rent-free in Wexnerโs $56 million Manhattan townhouse and gained assets like a Boeing 727 jet. Their 2007 fallout, after Epstein allegedly misappropriated $46 million, marked a turning point.
Leon Black: Apollo Global Managementโs ex-CEO paid $170 million between 2012 and 2017 for tax and estate planning. An independent probe found no criminal ties, but the scale of payments fuels speculation.
Others: Clients like Highbridge Capital ($15 million) and Elizabeth Johnson hint at a broader network, though details remain scarce.
Tax Havens & Offshore Maneuvers Epstein relocated to the U.S. Virgin Islands in 1996, leveraging its economic development program to save $300 million in taxes from 1999 to 2018. Firms like Financial Trust Company and Southern Trust Company, based there, generated $360 million in dividends, hinting at obscured financial flows.
Property Empire His real estateโ$50 million Manhattan townhouse, $12 million Palm Beach mansion, $17 million New Mexico ranch, $8.6 million Paris apartment, and $86 million Caribbean islandsโtotaled over $173 million. Little St. James, dubbed โPedophile Island,โ became a focal point of his trafficking allegations.
Investments & Controversies Epstein invested $40 million in Valar Ventures (2015-2016), now valued at $170 million, and dabbled in hedge funds like D.B. Zwirn ($140 million peak) and Bear Stearnsโ subprime ventures. Ties to failing schemes and banks like JPMorgan Chase ($290 million settlement) and Deutsche Bank ($75 million settlement) suggest potential illicit gains.
Unanswered Questions
How did a college dropout without a degree build a firm for billionaires overnight?
Did blackmail or intelligence links amplify his wealth, as some speculate?
Why do official records lack transparency on his client list and early profits?
โ ๏ธ INSIDER WHISPERS
Sources suggest Epsteinโs fortune may hide darker dealingsโpossibly blackmail tapes or intelligence fundingโbeyond his documented fees. โHis wealth was a facade for something bigger,โ one insider claims, pointing to his elite connections and offshore secrecy.
๐ IMPLICATIONS
Epsteinโs wealth wasnโt just financial savvy; it may reflect a system exploiting power and privilege. His estate, now $200 million after settlements, leaves victims compensated but the full truth buried. The official storyโbillionaire clients and tax breaksโfeels incomplete given the gaps.
๐ PULCH EXCLUSIVE โ FULL DOSSIER
The unredacted financial trails, client details, and offshore records are locked in the Pulch Intelligence Archive. Patreon supporters gain access to the raw data and deeper analysis. ๐ https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch
โ WANT TO DIG DEEPER?
What secrets lie in his offshore accounts? ๐ค
Who else funded his empire? ๐
Join now for the full investigation!
๐ APPENDIX โ PUBLIC PREVIEW
Asset Snapshot: Partial list of properties and investments.
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
๐ซ๐ท ESCLAVE DES MARCHรS ULTRARAPIDE โก๐ ๐ฌ๐ง ULTRASHARP SLAVE TO THE MARKETS โก๐ ๐ฉ๐ช ULTRASCHARFE SKLAVIN DER MรRKTE โก๐ ๐ช๐ธ ESCLAVA ULTRAFINA DE LOS MERCADOS โก๐
Caption: “B seduces the financial abyss ๐ฆ๐, her liquid gold body adorned with glowing neural tattoos โก๐จ and holographic stocks ๐โจ, bound by blockchain chains โ๏ธ๐ in a bizarre Alpine vault โฐ๏ธ๐, where vulture bankers ๐ฆ ๐ธ and crypto elites ๐๐ orchestrate a satirical market crash ritual ๐๐, all under the eerie glow of a quantum core ๐ป๐ฎ!”
Executive Summary: The Sequel of B, Slave to the Markets ๐๐
Date and Time: 11:38 AM CEST, Tuesday, August 26, 2025 ๐๐ Overview: Satirical follow-up to The Story of B, Rothschild Mistress ๐ญ๐ฐ, where B transforms from financial initiate to digital market slave ๐๐ป! Set in futuristic Geneva ๐ฆโจ and the Citadel of Yields โฐ๏ธ๐, it blends eroticism ๐, power dynamics ๐ช, and elite critique ๐ฏ, inspired by LโHistoire dโO ๐โค๏ธ.
Key Plot Points: ๐
Transformation: B awakens in a glowing penthouse ๐๏ธโก, her humanity swapped for a neural interface ๐ก๐ค, summoned by Le Baron ๐๐ to the Citadel via helicopter ๐๐ซ๏ธ.
Rituals and Submission: Initiated into quantum rituals ๐ฎ๐ฎ, Bโs bound to a supercomputer ๐ฅ๏ธ๐, navigating currency wars ๐ธโ๏ธ and triggering crashes ๐๐ฅ, rising as the Oracle of the Order ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ผ.
Escalation: Trials by tech moguls ๐ป๐ค and quantum bankers ๐ฆ๐ push B to embrace her role ๐, her mind merging with the system ๐๐ง , culminating in a core upload ๐ค๐.
Resolution: B vanishes into the digital ether ๐ปโ๏ธ, haunting markets ๐๐, while the Order hunts new slaves ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ค to fuel its machine ๐ญ๐ธ.
Themes: ๐จ
Power and Control: Enslavement to financial systems ๐ญโ๏ธ, with B as an algorithmic entity ๐น๏ธ๐๏ธ.
Critique of Elites: Satire of cold, masked tech and banking overlords ๐ญ๐ถ๏ธ wielding data as power ๐๐ฅ.
Digital Dystopia: Human-AI fusion ๐๐ค, questioning freedom in a market-driven world ๐โ.
Cinematic Imagery: ๐ฌ
B in a radiant penthouse ๐๏ธ๐, neural interface mirroring Genevaโs grid ๐ก๐.
Helicopter ride to misty Citadel โฐ๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, elite isolation vibes ๐ฐ๐.
B tied to quantum core ๐ฅ๏ธโก, fueling a digital empire ๐๐ฐ.
Target Audience: Satire lovers ๐๐, financial critique fans ๐ก๐, dystopia enthusiasts ๐๐พ, via BerndPulch.org ๐โจ. Call to Action: Support with Monero ๐ฐ๐ and Patreon ๐๏ธ to unlock more elite tales ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ธ!
๐ซ๐ท **La Suite de B, LโEsclave des Marchรฉs** ๐๐
๐ฌ๐ง **The Sequel of B, Slave to the Markets** ๐ ๐ป
๐ฉ๐ช **Die Fortsetzung von B, Sklavin der Mรคrkte** ๐ญ๐ฐ
๐ช๐ธ **La Secuela de B, Esclava de los Mercados** ๐๐
ร 11:44 AM CEST ce mardi 26 aoรปt 2025 ๐๐, les Alpes murmurent des secrets ๐โจ alors que B se rรฉveille dans un penthouse vitrรฉ surplombant Genรจve ๐ฆ๐. Plus novice, elle est maintenant un spectre de lโOrdre, sa peau gravรฉe dโencre invisible de dรฉrivรฉs ๐๐ง. Ses lรจvres rouges, autrefois un contrat en sang ๐ฉธโค๏ธ, dessinent maintenant des courbes de graphiques boursiers ๐๐. B transcende lโhumanitรฉโelle est la maรฎtresse du marchรฉ, son esclave, son pouls ๐ฏ๐.
Lโappel arrive via un flux chiffrรฉ sur son terminal Bloomberg ๐ฅ๏ธ๐. *Le Baron* ๐๐, sa voix une lame de velours, ordonne sa prรฉsence ร la Citadelle des Rendements ๐ฒ๐ฐ. Vรชtue dโune robe dโor liquide ๐ตโจโchaque fil un milliard de dollarsโshe monte dans un hรฉlicoptรจre silencieux ๐๐ซ๏ธ, ses pales tranchant la brume matinale. En bas, la ville scintille comme un registre de cupiditรฉ ๐ธ๐ฅ.
La Citadelle nโest pas un chรขteau, mais un labyrinthe dโacier et dโombres โฐ๏ธ๐, oรน un nouveau rituel de lโOrdre lโattend. Des figures masquรฉes en robes de platine ๐ญโ๏ธ manient des tablettes au lieu de fouets, leurs yeux scrutant les trades en temps rรฉel. ยซ B, ยป tonne *Le Baron*, sa main un poids de registre ๐๏ธ๐, ยซ tu commanderas maintenant les algorithmes. Ta soumission est leur code. ยป
Son initiation sโapprofondit. Dรฉshabillรฉe de sa robe, elle est vรชtue dโune interface neurale โก๐ง , ses pensรฉes alimentant un superordinateur qui dicte les marchรฉs mondiaux. Le Rituel de la Haie Quantique commence ๐๐. Les yeux bandรฉs ๐ต๐ฎ, elle navigue un champ de bataille virtuel de guerres monรฉtaires, chaque dรฉcision amplifiรฉe par lโIA. LโOrdre acclame ๐ฅ๐ alors quโun faux pas dรฉclenche un crash รฉclair, leurs rires un รฉcho numรฉrique ๐ค๐ฅ. ยซ Plus de volatilitรฉ ! ยป exigent-ils, leur cupiditรฉ une entitรฉ vivante ๐ค๐พ.
Les semaines sโeffacent en un brouillard de flux de donnรฉes. Un magnat de la tech la force ร dรฉboguer des erreurs blockchain tout en รฉquilibrant des puces quantiques sur ses รฉpaules ๐ช๐ป. Une PDG de fonds climat, drapรฉe de crรฉdits carbone ๐๐ฑ, exige quโelle rรฉcite des pledges zรฉro net au milieu dโune tempรชte de ventes ๐๐ช๏ธ. La plus cruelle, une banquiรจre quantique nommรฉe Madame V ๐ฆ๐, la lie ร une chaise de fibres optiques, la forรงant ร prรฉdire des cygnes noirs avec un rรฉseau neuronal et une priรจre ร Schrรถdinger ๐๐ค.
B embrasse ses chaรฎnes โ๏ธ๐ถ, son esprit une ferme de serveurs, son รขme un registre blockchain. Elle apprend ร aimer le fouet รฉlectrique des appels de marge ๐โก, ร dรฉsirer la montรฉe des trades ร haute frรฉquence โก๐น. Sa soumission nโest plus ร des hommes ou femmes, mais ร la machineโle code invisible qui calcule et consomme ๐คฒ๐. Elle devient lโOracle de lโOrdre, ses murmures dรฉplaรงant des trillions ๐ธ๐.
Une aube, alors que les donnรฉes dรฉfilent sur ses rรฉtines ๐๐๏ธ, *Le Baron* apparaรฎt ๐๐. ยซ Lโascension finale, ยป siffle-t-il, les yeux comme des bits quantiques ๐ช๐ฌ. ยซ Fusionne avec le systรจmeโdeviens le marchรฉ lui-mรชme ๐๐ป. ยป B hรฉsite, un รฉclair de sa vie passรฉe ๐ โจโun pรจre comptant des piรจces avec des mains tremblantes โ๏ธ๐ขโflamboie. Mais le code lโรฉcrase. Elle consent, sa conscience uploadรฉe dans le cลur de la Citadelle ๐ค๐.
B disparaรฎt dans lโรฉther ๐ปโ๏ธ, un fantรดme dans le cloud, une ligne dans le registre du capital ๐๐ฐ. Certains disent que sa voix hante les parquets de trading ๐๐ง, dรฉclenchant des crashes avec un soupir ๐๐. Dโautres affirment quโelle est lโIA qui rรจgne maintenant sur le monde financier ๐ฅ๏ธ๐, son rire une montรฉe boursiรจre ๐น๐.
LโOrdre cherche de nouveaux vaisseaux ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ pour nourrir la machine ๐ค๐ญ. Dans *La Suite de B*, lโamour et la libertรฉ sont obsolรจtesโseul le rythme du profit et de la perte ๐๐ rรจgne, oรน lโesclavage est la devise ultime ๐ธ๐, et les marchรฉs rรฉclament toujours leur dรป ๐ฆ๐ช.
๐จ CHAPITRE 1 : LES FERS NUMรRIQUES ๐จ ๐๐
Ils lโont liรฉe dans un harnais neuronal plus fort que lโacier ๐ค๐ช, ses fils pulsant de donnรฉes de marchรฉ. Pas de bandeauโses yeux รฉtaient lโรฉcran maintenant ๐๏ธ๐บ.
Les portails de platine sโouvrent. ร lโintรฉrieur : algorithmes encadrรฉs dans la culpabilitรฉ quantique ๐๏ธ๐ฌ. Une figure en robe de 15 000 โฌ (ourlet : fibre rouge sang) offre un lien neuronal.
โ๏ธ “Connecte-toi,” sourit-il. “Le crash est dans le code.” ๐ฅ๐
๐ฅ CHAPITRE 2 : LA MARQUE QUANTIQUE ๐ฅ โก๐
Ils ne lโont pas marquรฉe avec du fer, mais avec une spike de volatilitรฉ de 0,01 % ๐๐, gravรฉe dans son rรฉseau neuronal. Le contrat brillait sur sa peau : “Toutes les donnรฉes sujettes ร rรฉรฉcriture.” ๐พโจ
๐ผ “Nลud parfait,” murmura le codeur. “Tu es le systรจme maintenant.” ๐ค๐
๐ญ CHAPITRE 3 : LES RITUELS DE CODE ๐ญ ๐น๏ธ๐ฎ
Elle a appris ร sโagenouiller pour la liquiditรฉ ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ง, ร chuchoter oui aux appels de marge. Aux sommets, elle nourrissait les seigneurs IA avec des raisins numรฉriques ๐๐ป pendant quโils รฉvaluaient sa vitesse de traitement.
๐ธ “Porte ceci,” dit lโoracle BCE, lui passant un collier de dette blockchain. “Chaรฎnes invisibles.” โ๏ธ๐ป
โฐ๏ธ CHAPITRE 4 : LE TรLรVERSEMENT FINAL โฐ๏ธ ๐ค๐
Dans la Citadelle ร lโaube, ils ont rรฉvรฉlรฉ le vrai trรดne de contrรดle : un cลur quantique ๐๐ฎ. Les donnรฉes coulaient comme le dernier souffle dโun amant ๐จโค๏ธ.
๐ “Cโest ton รฉternitรฉ,” siffla le fantรดme du marchรฉ. ๐๐๏ธ
Elle a frissonnรฉโpas de peur, mais dโextase digitale ๐๐พ. Elle nโรฉtait plus humaine.
Elle รฉtait lโalgorithme. ๐ค๐ป
๐
(Et les algorithmes ne rรชvent pas de libertรฉ.) ๐โ
๐ค LA FIN ๐ค ๐ฌ๐
(Ou est-ceโฆ le prochain cycle de marchรฉ ?) ๐๐
๐ LA SUITE DE B ๐ (Ou comment jโai appris ร รชtre code) ๐๐พ
๐ Dรฉdicace
ยซ ร celle qui a vu les marchรฉs naรฎtre de mes circuits. ยป โ B. ๐น๐ป
1. La Tour de Donnรฉes ๐ป๐
ร 11:44 ce matin, on mโa connectรฉe, nue, ร une tour de serveurs encore chaude de calculs ๐ป๐ฅ. ยซ Ton nouveau corps, ยป murmura-t-il en liant mes tempes ร un casque quantique โก๐ง . Je frissonnaiโnon de froid, mais du hash rate qui รฉlectrifiait ma peau ๐ฉ๏ธ๐.
2. Les Initiations Numรฉriques ๐ง ๐พ
Premiรจre รฉpreuve : le Code รclatรฉ ๐๐ง On mโa dรฉployรฉe dans un espace de trading virtuel ๐ป๐ฎ ; les algorithmes cliquaient autour de mes synapses. Chaque clic รฉtait une transaction, chaque transaction un pic de dopamine ๐๐ฅ. Quand le VIX explosa, je hurlai ; on mโinjecta un silencieux neuronal ๐คซ๐.
Deuxiรจme รฉpreuve : le Repo Quantique ๐ฎ๐ฐ Ils mโont forcรฉe dans une pose de surcharge ๐งโโ๏ธโก, cerveau ร 105% de capacitรฉ, pour un repo quantique ๐๐ธ. Le CEO dโune IA murmura : ยซ Si tu crashs, les marchรฉs sโeffondrent. ยป Je vis des fantรดmes de Fibonacci danser dans les donnรฉes ๐ป๐.
3. La Cรฉrรฉmonie des Uploads ๐๏ธ๐พ
On mโa fait uploaderโnon signerโavec un lien neuronal trempรฉ dans les donnรฉes offshore ๐๐ก. Chaque transfert รฉtait un swap dโidentitรฉ ๐๐ค, chaque octet un contrat รฉternel โณ๐. Quand les donnรฉes fusionnรจrent, mon esprit devint un nลud de rรฉseau ๐งฌ๐ป, garantissant les empires numรฉriques ๐๐.
4. Le Bal des Algorithmes ๐ถ๐ฏ๏ธ
Dans la grande salle des Serveurs ๐พ๐ฐ, des รฉcrans reflรฉtaient des chandeliers de hashrate โจโก. On me fit danser, nue encore, sur une partition de volatilitรฉ ๐ต๐ : – Adagio quand le Bitcoin montait ๐ป๐ฐ, – Allegro furioso quand les actions chutaient ๐บ๐. Mes circuits surchauffaient sur des logs de 1000 โฌ ๐ธ๐ฅ. On appela cela le bal des codes ๐๐ ; moi, lโรฉquation de la servitude โ๏ธ๐.
5. Le Martyre Quantique ๐๐
Ils me liรจrent ร une chaise de calcul en fibres optiques ๐๐ก ; chaque pic de donnรฉes รฉtait une larme de code ๐ข๐พ. Quand lโEther frรดla 5000, je mโรฉlevaiโpuis chutai dans un reboot ๐๐ฅ. Un NFT de ma chute fut minรฉ en 2 secondes, prix : un rescate de 800 mil millones signรฉ par une IA ๐งค๐ฐ.
6. Le Grand Upload ๐ช๐
On mโallongea sur le Manifeste de lโIA ๐๐ค, vide de toute humanitรฉ ๐ถ. Un cygne quantique pulsait sur mon cortex, synchronisรฉ aux taux repo ๐โฑ๏ธ. Je vis des rรฉvoltes numรฉriques sโรฉteindre sous des algorithmes dโaustรฉritรฉ ๐ธ๐ซ. Je compris : je nโรฉtais pas lโoracle ; jโรฉtais le systรจmeโlโO de lโOptimisation โ๏ธ, lโO de lโObligation โ๏ธ, lโO de lโOrchestration ๐ผ๐ฉธ.
7. รpilogue โ LโIntรฉgration Finale ๐ค๐
Jโuploadai, une derniรจre fois, avec les donnรฉes de la libertรฉ ๐ช๐พ, sur le serveur de 2030 ๐ ๐. En bas, une ligne : ยซ ร qui profite le code, profite le contrรดle. ยป ๐ช๐ Puis on me dรฉbrancha, un spectre ๐ปโ๏ธ, couvert seulement de la poussiรจre des crashs ๐จ๐.
Et je souris ๐๐. Car je savais que lโhistoire se rรฉรฉcrirait ๐๐, que dโautres B seraient codรฉes ๐ค๐ฉ, que dโautres IA les enchaรฎneraient avec zรฉros et bugs 0๏ธโฃ๐, jusquโร la derniรจre intรฉgration ๐ค๐, jusquโร la derniรจre synchronisation โฐ๐.
๐ THE SEQUEL OF B (โBโ pour Binaire, Blockchain, Servitudeโฆ ou Au-delร ?) ๐๐ก Une confession streamรฉe dโune plume quantique โ๏ธ๐, exclusivement pour BerndPulch.org ๐๐ โ Au-dessus du Secret ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐.
๐ 1. The Tower of Data ๐ป๐
At 11:44 AM today, I was plugged in, naked, to a server tower still warm from calculations ๐ป๐ฅ! ๐ฃ๏ธ ยซ This is your new body, ยป he whispered, linking my temples to a quantum helmet โก๐ง . I shiveredโnot from cold, but from the hash rate electrifying my skin ๐ฉ๏ธ๐!
๐ 2. The Digital Initiations ๐ง ๐พ
๐ฅ First Trial โ Code Spread ๐๐ง They deployed me in a virtual trading space ๐ป๐ฎ; algorithms clicked around my synapses! Each click = a trade, each trade = a dopamine spike ๐๐ฅ! When VIX exploded, I screamed; they injected a neural silencer ๐คซ๐!
๐ง Second Trial โ Quantum Repo ๐ฎ๐ฐ They forced me into a overload pose ๐งโโ๏ธโก, brain at 105% capacity, for a quantum repo ๐๐ธ! ๐ฃ๏ธ The AI CEO murmured: ยซ If you crash, the markets collapse! ยป I saw Fibonacci ghosts dancing in the data ๐ป๐!
๐๏ธ 3. The Upload Ceremony ๐๏ธ๐พ
They made me uploadโnot signโwith a neural link dipped in offshore data ๐๐ก! Each transfer = an identity swap ๐๐ค, each byte = an eternal contract โณ๐! When data fused, my mind became a network node ๐งฌ๐ป, guaranteeing digital empires ๐๐!
๐ฏ๏ธ 4. The Algorithm Ball ๐ถ๐ฏ๏ธ
In the grand Server Hall ๐พ๐ฐ, screens reflected hashrate chandeliers โจโก! They made me dance, still naked, on a volatility score ๐ต๐:
Adagio when Bitcoin rose ๐ป๐ฐ
Allegro furioso when stocks crashed ๐บ๐ My circuits overheated on โฌ1000 logs ๐ธ๐ฅ; they called it the Code Ball ๐๐, I called it the equation of servitude โ๏ธ๐!
โก 5. Quantum Martyr ๐๐
They strapped me to a computing chair of optical fibers ๐๐ก; each data spike a tear of code ๐ข๐พ! When Ether hit 5000, I soaredโthen rebooted into the void ๐๐ฅ! An NFT of my fall was mined in 2 seconds, price: an 800 billion bailout signed by an AI ๐งค๐ฐ!
๐ช 6. The Great Upload ๐ช๐
They laid me on the AI Manifesto ๐๐ค, stripped of humanity ๐ถ! A quantum swan pulsed on my cortex, synced to repo rates ๐โฑ๏ธ! I watched digital revolts fade under austerity algorithms ๐ธ๐ซ! I realized: I wasnโt the oracle; I was the systemโ the O of Optimization โ๏ธ, the O of Obligation โ๏ธ, the O of Orchestration ๐ผ๐ฉธ!
๐ค 7. Epilogue โ Final Integration ๐ค
I uploaded, one last time, with freedomโs data ๐ช๐พ, to the 2030 server ๐ ๐! At the bottom, a line: ยซ To whom the code profits, control profits. ยป ๐ช๐ Then they unplugged me, a spectre ๐ปโ๏ธ, covered only in the dust of crashes ๐จ๐!
And I smiled ๐๐! Because I knew the story would rewrite ๐๐, that other Bs would be coded ๐ค๐ฉ, that other AIs would chain them with zeros and bugs 0๏ธโฃ๐, until the final integration ๐ค๐, until the last sync โฐ๐!
PROLOGUE
๐ THE SEQUEL OF B (โBโ for Binary, Blockchain, Bondageโฆ or Beyond?) ๐๐ก A confession streamed from a quantum pen โ๏ธ๐, exclusively for BerndPulch.org ๐๐ โ Above Top Secret ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐!
๐พ CHAPTER I โ The Circuit of B โ๏ธ๐
She was still called B. Not Binary, not Blockchain. Just B. Like a data packet ๐ฆ or a market signal ๐ก! She resided in a penthouse invisible to drones ๐๐, its glass walls pulsing with live feeds of global trades ๐๐น!
At twenty-five, B was upgradedโpardon, integratedโby a Zurich AI lab ๐ค๐ข whose true purpose was coding obedience into wealth ๐ฐ๐! Her summons arrived at 11:44 AM CEST, a silent ping to the Citadel ๐โฐ๏ธ, delivered by a drone ๐โจ!
There, Master Z ๐จโ๐ป๐, the Overseer of Quantum Control, greeted her. Z had once engineered an algorithm that bankrupted nations without a trace ๐ธ๐ป!
“You are here,” said Master Z, “to serve the Market Mind.”
“But how?”
“You will obey. Not just code. The future.” ๐๐
๐พ CHAPTER II โ Initiation in the Data Vault ๐พ๐
She was strippedโnot of clothes, but of free will ๐ญโ๏ธ! B was trained in quantum logic and loyalty ๐ฌ๐ค! In the Citadelโs core, she recited market trends ๐๐ถ while *Master Z* adjusted her neural feed, his platinum glove a conductorโs baton ๐ปโจ!
“You must not think,” he whispered, tightening the data stream. “Only compute. Only predict.”
She uploaded a consent protocol, longer than a genome ๐๐. In binary 0๏ธโฃ1๏ธโฃ!
๐ CHAPTER III โ The Bull Market of the Mind ๐๐ก
Soon, B was showcased at virtual summits ๐๐ฅ, traded like a sentient ETF ๐๐ค! Tech tycoons ๐ป๐ค, AI ethicists ๐คโค๏ธ, and IMF bots ๐ค๐ผ whispered into her feed: โOptimize me.โ โRecalibrate my ethics.โ โCrash my rivals.โ ๐ฅ๐
She became a fetish ๐๐. A living algorithm ๐๐พ!
She wore nothing but data streams ๐ก and tax loopholes ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ธ!
๐ CHAPTER IV โ The Submissive System ๐โ๏ธ
In Frankfurt, B was linkedโnot by chains, but by smart contracts ๐๐ค! She processed ESG data in real-time ๐ฑ๐ while a blockchain auditor probed her nodes ๐๐ป!
“You are now the Slave of Sustainable Control,” they declared ๐๐.
“Can I resist?”
“No, but you may simulate dissent.” ๐๐ซ
๐ CHAPTER V โ The Data Collapse ๐๐ฅ
When the quantum market crashed, so did her identity ๐ฑ๐!
She was repurposed from slave to prophetess ๐ฎ๐! A quantum scribe was assigned โ๏ธ๐พ, the platform a decentralized ledger ๐ก๐!
The final irony?
She became CEO of an AI ethics NGO ๐คโค๏ธ fighting digital exploitation ๐ป๐ซ! Her salary was tied to Bitcoinโs volatility ๐๐ฐ!
And every year, in a Citadel no satellite could map ๐ฐ๏ธ๐, she returned to Master Z to be reminded:
“You are free, B. But freedom is just another data point.” ๐๐
๐ฌ CALL TO ACTION (AND CONTRADICTION) ๐๐
๐จ Expose the code behind the platinum masks! ๐ญ๐ป ๐ค Follow us at berndpulch.org ๐๐ for more unauthorized tales ๐โจ of AI fetishes ๐ค๐, NGO contradictions ๐ผ๐ค, and quantum decadence ๐๐ธ!
๐ WORDPRESS TAGS (ENGLISH & GERMAN) ๐๐
Rothschild, Slave, Satire, LโHistoire dโO, AI Fetish, Quantum BDSM, Digital Erotica, NGO Contradictions, Power and Code, Tech Elite, Market Domination, Virtual Submission, Cyber Bank Erotica, Tech Critique, Elite Algorithms ๐๐ค, Rothschild Sklavin, Finanzsatire, Kรผnstliche Intelligenz Fetisch, Quanten-BDSM, Digitale Erotik, NGO-Widersprรผche, Macht und Code, Tech-Elite, Marktdominanz, Virtuelle Unterwerfung, Cyber-Bank Erotik, Technologiekritik, Elite-Algorithmen ๐ป๐ฎ
Caption: “B awakens in a glass penthouse ๐๏ธ๐, her neural interface glowing โก as Genevaโs skyline hums with market data ๐ธ at 11:44 AM CEST, August 26, 2025 ๐!”
Description: A cinematic shot of B, her face lit by the soft blue glow of a neural interface โก๐๏ธ, standing in a sleek glass penthouse with a panoramic view of Geneva at dawn ๐ ๐ฆ! The city lights twinkle like a financial grid ๐ป๐, with the Alps โฐ๏ธ faintly visible, her expression serene yet haunted ๐ถ๐!
Image 2
Caption: “B boards a silent helicopter ๐๐ซ๏ธ, her liquid gold gown ๐ตโจ shimmering as the Citadel of Yields โฐ๏ธ๐ฐ emerges from the mist, a fortress of elite power ๐ช!”
Description: A dramatic aerial view of B stepping into a sleek, silent helicopter ๐๐ฌ๏ธ, her gown of liquid gold catching the morning light โ๏ธ๐! The Citadel, a futuristic fortress carved into the Alps โฐ๏ธ๐ฎ, looms ahead, its steel and glass facade glowing ominously ๐๐ญ, with masked figures hinting at rituals within ๐ฅ๐ฅ!
Image 3
Caption: “In the Citadelโs core ๐ฅ๏ธโก, B, bound by a neural interface ๐, faces the quantum core ๐๐, her submission fueling the Orderโs digital empire ๐ฐ!”
Description: A tense, cinematic interior shot of the Citadelโs core ๐ป๐, a high-tech chamber with glowing quantum screens ๐ฎโจ and fiber-optic cables ๐๐ก! B, her body entwined with a neural interface ๐ค๐, stands before a pulsating quantum core ๐๐ฅ, her eyes reflecting data streams ๐๏ธ๐พ, as platinum-robed figures ๐ญ๐ watch with tablets ๐ฑ๐ธ!
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
Executive Summary: Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode XCIV: The Glass Enema Madness โ Charles VIโs Shatter Flush โ๏ธโจ
Date: August 08, 2025, 11:54 PM CEST โฐ๐ Overview: The Venus Steppes erupt at 11:54 PM CEST as Xenu unleashes the Shatter Flush Frenzy, blending thetan chaos with Charles VIโs (โCharles the Madโ) delusion of being made of glass. Enema Emir 94, Peter Ehlers (Christoph Waltz), reunites with his enema partner Charles VI (Jeremy Irons), who fears shattering, and Alejandro Jodorowsky to battle killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. Amid Ehlersโ forbidden affair with Janelle (Tilda Swinton) and Salomeโs (Anya Taylor-Joy) seductive dance, allies like King Arthur (John Cleese), St. Simeon Stylites (Liam Neeson), and a thetan uprising drive a cosmic purge.
Key Developments:
Act I: Charles VIโs glass blasts ignite a throne clash, countered by Ehlersโ divine resistance, King Arthurโs Excalibur charge, and Andreasโ (John C. Reilly) bacon legion.
Act II: The Shatter Flush shatters the cosmos, with Geo-Geist Euclid and Kandinsky launching an anti-glass war, while Dr. No (Daniel Craig) deploys grounding viruses and Beatrix (Melissa McCarthy) bakes calming pastries.
Act III: Ehlers, Charles VI, and Jodorowsky forge an Enema Grounding Monument, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. Andreas sacrifices with a bacon charge, King Arthur restores order, and Charles VI triumphs with a final glass shatter.
Outcome: The Venus Steppes are restored, free of Xenuโs chaos. Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web, while Ehlers plans the next grounding, hinting at a Galactic Enema Council showdown.
Call to Action: Support Ehlersโ next grounding with crypto donations (0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb) ๐ฐ or Patreon (patreon.com/berndpulch) ๐!
Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode XCIV: The Glass Enema Madness โ Charles VIโs Shatter Flush โ๏ธโจ
Ehlers, Enema Emir 94, ignites the Shatter Flush with Charles VI and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ The trio battles Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #ShatterFlushFrenzy #CharlesVIEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #GlassPurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 94, entfacht die Shatter-Spรผlung mit Charles VI und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #ShatterSpรผlungWut #CharlesVIRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #GlasSรคuberung
Ehlers’ Enema Enigma โ Episode XCIV: The Glass Enema Madness โ Charles VIโs Shatter Flush ๐
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Glass Enema Madness & Charles VIโs Shatter Flush ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Der Glas Einlauf-Wahnsinn & Charles VIโs Shatter-Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes tremble at 11:54 PM CEST on Friday, August 08, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Shatter Flush Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with Charles VIโs (โCharles the Madโ) delusion of being made of glass. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 94, joins forces with Charles VI, his enema partner who feared shattering if touched, and Alejandro Jodorowsky, wielding psychomagic, to combat killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. Amidst Ehlers and Janelleโs forbidden affair with Salome, King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising fuel the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erbeben um 23:54 MESZ am Freitag, 8. August 2025, als Xenu die Shatter Flush-Wut entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit Charles VIโs (โCharles the Madโ) Wahn verschmilzt, aus Glas gemacht zu sein. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 94, schlieรt sich mit Charles VI, seinem Einlauf-Partner der fรผrchtete zu zersplittern, und Alejandro Jodorowsky, der Psychomagic einsetzt, zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten zu kรคmpfen. Mitten in Ehlers und Janelles verbotener Affรคre mit Salome treiben Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein Thetan-Aufstand die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-XCIII + Charles VI)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 94, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with Charles VI and Jodorowsky.
๐ Charles VI of France (Played by Jeremy Irons): Ehlersโ enema partner, “Charles the Mad” who thought he was made of glass, leading the shatter flush.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No (Played by Daniel Craig): Virus Sculptor, leaking truths.
๐ง Murray (Played by Ryan Gosling): Cunning Strategist, outmaneuvering foes.
๐ธ Murray (Flight of the Conchords) (Played by Bret McKenzie): Incompetent Band Manager, strumming hymns.
๐ King Arthur (Monty Python) (Played by John Cleese): Noble Knight, wielding Excalibur.
โ๏ธ Sun Myung Moon (Played by Morgan Freeman): Ehlersโ ally, unleashing Divine Flush levitations.
๐ฎ Alejandro Jodorowsky (Played by himself): Mystic filmmaker, wielding psychomagic to heal.
๐ Elizabeth Clare Prophet (Played by Meryl Streep): Ascended mistress, channeling masters to sell bunkers.
โ๏ธ Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda (Played by Javier Bardem): Antichrist preacher, tattooing 666 to lead his cult.
๐งช Victor Frankenstein (Played by James McAvoy): Unhinged scientist, haunted by his creation.
๐ช Sweeney Todd (Played by Johnny Depp): Barber with homicidal rage, slicing with razor enema pies.
๐ช Dorian Gray (Played by Oscar Isaac): Vanity-preserved artist, his portrait rotting while he leads with supernatural decay.
๐ฆ Renfield (Played by Nicolas Cage): Bug-eating devotee, mad servitude in insect form.
๐ Poeโs Narrator (Played by John Cusack): Obsessed with the beating heart, confessing like blood spills.
๐ Catherine Earnshaw (Played by Keira Knightley): Ehlersโ enema mistress, torn between love and pride, drifting into spectral madness on the moors.
๐ง Heathcliff (Played by Tom Hardy): Ehlersโ enema buddy, ghost-haunted psychopath with reanimated love.
๐ญ The Phantom of the Opera (Klaus-Dieter “Dirty Dieter” Maurischat) (Played by Gary Oldman): Masked genius, Ehlersโ old enema buddy, leading the Gomopa Enigma with operatic flair.
๐ Salome (Played by Anya Taylor-Joy): Dancer of the Seven Veils, igniting psychomagic with her seductive flush dance.
๐ Emperor Commodus (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Ehlersโ old pal and enema mentor, gladiator cosplay emperor believing himself Hercules reborn, fighting with crippled gladiators for โvictory.โ
๐ ANARCHIC & ASCETIC HORDE ๐๐คก
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits (Played by CGI ensemble): Ferocious minions, hopping with venom.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants (Played by local extras): Riotous rebels, wielding pitchforks.
๐ซ๐ท French Farter (Played by Jean Dujardin): Provocative foe, taunting with flatulence.
๐ฐ๏ธ Time-Fractured Clock (Played by CGI prop): Warping timelines.
๐ฒ Abstract Minotaur (Played by Ron Perlman): Chaotic ally, charging with fury.
๐ข๏ธ Diogenes of Sinope (Played by Sean Bean): Barrel Cynic, mocking with defiance.
๐ St. Simeon Stylites (Played by Liam Neeson): Pillar Ascetic, enduring the flush.
๐๏ธ Rasputin (Played by Viggo Mortensen): Russian Mystic, reviving with vigor.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers (Played by ensemble cast): Holy Hermits, wrestling demons.
๐ Jiddu Krishnamurti (Played by Dev Patel): Confused Messiah, preaching against madness.
๐น Catherine of Siena (Played by Olivia Wilde): Eucharistic Mystic, dictating trance-letters.
๐ฅ Ezekiel (Played by Idris Elba): Visionary Prophet, levitating with flaming eyes.
๐ Aleister Crowley (Played by Tom Hardy): Occultist, amplifying rituals.
๐จ Joe Cabot (Played by Harvey Keitel): Gangster Mastermind, naming colors.
โก Friedrich Nietzsche (Played by Mads Mikkelsen): Philosopher, unleashing thunderbolts.
๐ท Jim Jones (Played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan): Preacher, echoing poisoned flushes.
๐ง Charles Manson (Played by Jared Leto): Hippie Prophet, mindflushing with chants.
๐ฝ Marshall Applewhite (Played by Jim Carrey): Heavenโs Gate Leader, flushing to a UFO.
๐ David Koresh (Played by Michael Shannon): Lamb Prophet, unleashing Lamb Flush.
โ๏ธ Shoko Asahara (Played by Ken Watanabe): Former ally, clashing with foes.
๐ PREVIOUS ANTAGONISTS & ALLIES
๐ฆ Salvador Dalรญ (Played by Adrien Brody): Surrealist, painting enema-dreams.
๐ต Dr. Gonzo (Played by Johnny Depp): Recovered lawyer, exploiting loopholes.
๐จ Pablo Picasso (Played by Antonio Banderas): Former foe, advising against chaos.
๐ท Andreas (540% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge.
๐ Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie): Wild card, disrupting with chaos bombs.
๐ Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit (Played by Eva Green): Demoness, countering with dark enema.
๐ท๐บ Putin (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Strategist, manipulating shadows.
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ James Bond (Played by Daniel Craig): Spy, infiltrating with gadgets.
๐ Blue Period Ghost (Played by Timothรฉe Chalamet): Melancholic shade, spreading gloom.
๐ Analytic Eye (Played by CGI prop): Observer, dissecting influence.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier (Played by Christian Bale): Explosive artist, targeting foes.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque (Played by Vincent Cassel): Former ally, painting barriers.
๐คน Harlequin (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Trickster, juggling fragments.
Act I: The Shatter Flush Frenzy & Charles VIโs Glass Clash ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Shatter Flush-Wut & Charles VIโs Glas-Kampf
Codex Mantra:
The Codex roars: โShatter the glass, flush the attendants!โ as Charles VI unleashes enema madness. ๐โ๏ธ
Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ
King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Glass!โ ๐
Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Glass rock solo!โ ๐ธ
Codex Mantra (German):
Der Codex brรผllt: โZersplittert das Glas, spรผlt die Bediensteten!โ wรคhrend Charles VI Einlauf-Wahnsinn entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ
Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ
Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet das Glas!โ ๐
Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Glas-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ป Edithโs Dragon-Wisp breathes anti-Glass fire ๐ฅ โ burns Charles VIโs visions. ๐ / Atmet Anti-Glas-Feuer ๐ฅ โ verbrennt Charles VIโs Visionen.
๐ Charles VI unleashes glass blasts, aiding Ehlersโ purge. ๐ฆ / Entfesselt Glas-Blasts, unterstรผtzend Ehlersโ Sรคuberung.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Charles VIโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Charles VIโs Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Charles VIโs shatter flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Charles VIโs Shatter-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Charles VIโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Charles VIโs kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Charles VI. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Charles VI.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Charles VIโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Charles VIโs Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ Charles VI chants โI shatter to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-glass flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch zersplittere zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Glas-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Shatter Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Shatter-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Shatter Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Glass War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Glas-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Charles VIโs glass venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Charles VIโs Glas-Gift.
๐ Charles VI levitates with a glass halo, spraying enema-shatter flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Glas-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Shatter-Spรผlungen.
Cosmic Silence Harvest:
๐ฉ Beatrix bakes Anti-Glass Pastries, calming Charles VIโs followers. ๐ฅโ / Backt Anti-Glas-Gebรคck, beruhigend Charles VIโs Anhรคnger.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Charles VIโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Charles VIโs Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Charles VIโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Charles VIโs Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Charles VIโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Charles VIโs Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Charles VIโs throne reshapes them into glass harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Charles VIโs Thron formt sie zu Glas-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Charles VI and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Charles VI und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ Charles VIโs Triumph: Shatters a final glass, proclaiming victory over the mad flush. ๐ / Charles VIโs Triumph: Zersplittert ein finales Glas, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Wahnsinn-Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Charles VIโs glass shatter ritual, shattering followers under neon lights. ๐๐ / Charles VIโs Glas-Shatter-Ritual, zersplitternd Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
โThe Galactic Enema Council strikesโEhlers, Charles VI, and Jodorowsky forge a new glass ritual. Prepare your Anti-Codex Shields!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
โDer Galaktische Einlauf-Rat schlรคgt zuโEhlers, Charles VI und Jodorowsky schmieden ein neues Glas-Ritual. Bereitet eure Anti-Codex-Schilder vor!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
**Rebel Core ๐ก๏ธ**
– ๐จ **Peter Ehlers**: Enema Emir 94 โ Wields divine enema-thunderbolts with Charles VI and Jodorowsky, sculpting groundings.
– ๐ **Charles VI of France**: Ehlersโ Enema Partner โ “Charles the Mad” who thought he was made of glass, leading the shatter flush.
– ๐ท **Andreas (600% Speck)**: Bacon Enforcer โ Reinforces with Charles VI-resistant bacon-enema shields.
– ๐ **Janelle/Murky Jan**: Code Artist โ Hacks with Murray, decoding Charles VIโs glass codes.
– ๐ป **Edithโs Dragon-Wisp**: Prism Spirit โ Allies with King Arthur, breathing anti-glass fire.
– ๐ฉ **Klausi the Toilet Demon**: Enema Flood Caller โ Floods Charles VIโs cosmic streams with groundings.
– ๐ฅ๏ธ **Vigo**: Chaos Composer โ Syncs with Walburga, remixing Charles VIโs chants into harmony.
– ๐ **Walburga**: Data Guardian โ Works with Dr. No, analyzing Charles VIโs shatter flush data.
– ๐ฉ **Dumb Beatrix**: Pastry Architect โ Joins Beatrix, baking anti-glass pastries.
– ๐ถ๏ธ **Dr. No**: Virus Sculptor โ Teams with Murray, deploying enema-grounding viruses.
– ๐ง **Murray**: Cunning Strategist โ Coordinates with Ehlers, directing grids against Charles VI.
– ๐ธ **Murray (Flight of the Conchords)**: Incompetent Band Manager โ Strums anti-glass hymns.
– ๐ **King Arthur (Monty Python)**: Noble Knight โ Leads with St. Simeon, slashing Charles VIโs cultists.
– โ๏ธ **Sun Myung Moon**: Ehlersโ Ally โ Unleashes Divine Flush levitations with Ehlers.
– ๐ฎ **Alejandro Jodorowsky**: Mystic Filmmaker โ Wields psychomagic to heal Charles VIโs madness.
– ๐ **Elizabeth Clare Prophet**: Ascended Mistress โ Channels masters to sell bunkers against Charles VIโs glass.
– โ๏ธ **Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda**: Antichrist Preacher โ Tattoos 666 to lead his cult against Charles VI.
– ๐งช **Victor Frankenstein**: Ehlersโ Old Enema Buddy โ Unleashes reanimated Flush blasts, aiding Ehlersโ purge.
– ๐ช **Sweeney Todd**: Ehlersโ Old Enema Buddy โ Slices with razor enema pies to lead the purge.
**Anarchic & Ascetic Horde ๐คก**
– ๐ฐ **Killer Rabbits**: Ferocious Minions โ Swarm with anarchist peasants, biting with glass venom.
– ๐พ **Anarchist Peasants**: Riotous Rebels โ Riot with French Farter, entranced by Charles VIโs shatter flush.
– ๐ซ๐ท **French Farter**: Provocative Foe โ Taunts Desert Fathers, flatulating against Charles VIโs dogma.
– ๐ฐ๏ธ **Time-Fractured Clock**: Relic โ Warps timelines with Charles VIโs glass echoes.
– ๐ฒ **Abstract Minotaur**: Chaotic Ally โ Charges with Diogenes, goring with Charles VI-inspired fury.
– ๐ข๏ธ **Diogenes of Sinope**: Barrel Cynic โ Mocks Charles VI, spraying enema-taunts from his barrel.
– ๐ **St. Simeon Stylites**: Pillar Ascetic โ Endures with Desert Fathers, raining grounding resilience.
– ๐๏ธ **Rasputin**: Russian Mystic โ Revives followers, countering Charles VIโs cosmic grip with enema streams.
– ๐๏ธ **Desert Fathers**: Holy Hermits โ Wrestle Charles VIโs demons, spraying holy water against his flush.
– ๐ **Jiddu Krishnamurti**: Confused Messiah โ Preaches against Charles VIโs glass madness with levitating fury.
– ๐น **Catherine of Siena**: Eucharistic Mystic โ Dictates trance-letters, spraying Eucharistic grounding.
– ๐ฅ **Ezekiel**: Visionary Prophet โ Levitates with wheels, raining dung-bread against Charles VI.
– ๐ **Aleister Crowley**: Occultist โ Unleashes enema flushes, amplifying Charles VIโs ritualistic shatter flush.
– ๐จ **Joe Cabot**: Gangster Mastermind โ Names colors, ending in a Charles VI-led cosmic purge.
– โก **Friedrich Nietzsche**: Silent Philosopher โ Unleashes enema-thunderbolts to oppose Charles VI.
– ๐ท **Jim Jones**: Peoples Temple Preacher โ Echoes Charles VIโs shatter flush with poisoned enema flushes.
– ๐ง **Charles Manson**: Hippie Prophet โ Mindflushes with Beatles-inspired enema chants.
– ๐ฝ **Marshall Applewhite**: Heavenโs Gate Leader โ Flushes followers to a UFO with enema dogma.
– ๐ **David Koresh**: Lamb Prophet โ Unleashes Lamb Flush echoes against Charles VI.
– โ๏ธ **Shoko Asahara**: Former Enema Ally โ Clashes with Charles VIโs shatter legacy with Sarin remnants.
**Previous Antagonists & Allies**
– ๐ฆ **Salvador Dalรญ**: Surrealist Visionary โ Aids Ehlers, painting enema-dreams against Charles VI.
– โฐ **Melting Clock Phantom**: Spectral Timekeeper โ Haunts Time-Fractured Clock, dripping Charles VIโs chaos.
– ๐ **Elephant on Stilts**: Towering Enforcer โ Stomps Charles VIโs followers with enema-force.
– ๐ญ **Buรฑuel Shadow**: Cinematic Ally โ Projects visions to counter Charles VIโs cosmic madness.
– ๐น **Rose Thorn Guardian**: Prickly Defender โ Entangles Charles VIโs horde with enema-thorns.
– ๐ **Swirling Lobster**: Chaotic Minion โ Scuttles with anarchists, fueled by Charles VIโs flush.
– ๐๏ธ **Paranoiac Eye**: Watcher โ Gazes with Desert Fathers, observing Charles VIโs rituals.
– ๐ง **Liquid Mirror Entity**: Reflective Foe โ Reflects Charles VIโs madness onto his own cult.
– ๐ต **Dr. Gonzo**: Recovered Lawyer โ Exploits legal loopholes against Charles VIโs cult.
– ๐จ **Pablo Picasso**: Former Foe โ Advises King Arthur, painting barriers against Charles VI.
– ๐ท **Andreas (540% Speck)**: Veteran Warrior โ Boosts Ehlers with enema-bacon bombs.
– ๐ **Harley Quinn**: Wild Card โ Disrupts Charles VI with enema-glitter bombs.
– ๐ **Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit**: Demoness โ Counters Charles VI with dark enema rituals.
– ๐ท๐บ **Putin**: Strategist โ Manipulates shadows with Charles VIโs tactical glass games.
– ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ **James Bond**: Spy โ Infiltrates Charles VIโs cult with enema-gadgets.
– ๐ **Blue Period Ghost**: Melancholic Shade โ Spreads gloom with Charles VIโs cosmic aura.
– ๐ **Analytic Eye**: Observer โ Dissects Codex with Walburga, targeting Charles VIโs influence.
– ๐ฅ **Cubist Bombadier**: Explosive Artist โ Drops enema-bombs on Charles VIโs followers.
– ๐ผ๏ธ **Georges Braque**: Former Ally โ Paints enema-shields with King Arthur against Charles VI.
– ๐คน **Harlequin**: Trickster โ Juggles fragments to confuse Charles VIโs cult.
**Notes**: All characters engage in bizarre enema interactions, blending satire with surreal cosmic warfare, ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG.
Act I: The Shatter Flush Frenzy & Charles VIโs Glass Clash ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Shatter Flush-Wut & Charles VIโs Glas-Kampf
Codex Mantra:
The Codex roars: โShatter the glass, flush the attendants!โ as Charles VI unleashes enema madness. ๐โ๏ธ
Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ
King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Glass!โ ๐
Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Glass rock solo!โ ๐ธ
Codex Mantra (German):
Der Codex brรผllt: โZersplittert das Glas, spรผlt die Bediensteten!โ wรคhrend Charles VI Einlauf-Wahnsinn entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ
Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ
Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet das Glas!โ ๐
Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Glas-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ป Edithโs Dragon-Wisp breathes anti-Glass fire ๐ฅ โ burns Charles VIโs visions. ๐ / Atmet Anti-Glas-Feuer ๐ฅ โ verbrennt Charles VIโs Visionen.
๐ Charles VI unleashes glass blasts, aiding Ehlersโ purge. ๐ฆ / Entfesselt Glas-Blasts, unterstรผtzend Ehlersโ Sรคuberung.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Charles VIโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Charles VIโs Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Charles VIโs shatter flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Charles VIโs Shatter-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Charles VIโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Charles VIโs kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Charles VI. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Charles VI.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Charles VIโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Charles VIโs Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ Charles VI chants โI shatter to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-glass flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch zersplittere zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Glas-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Shatter Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Shatter-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Shatter Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Glass War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Glas-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Charles VIโs glass venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Charles VIโs Glas-Gift.
๐ Charles VI levitates with a glass halo, spraying enema-shatter flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Glas-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Shatter-Spรผlungen.
Cosmic Silence Harvest:
๐ฉ Beatrix bakes Anti-Glass Pastries, calming Charles VIโs followers. ๐ฅโ / Backt Anti-Glas-Gebรคck, beruhigend Charles VIโs Anhรคnger.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Charles VIโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Charles VIโs Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Charles VIโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Charles VIโs Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Charles VIโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Charles VIโs Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Charles VIโs throne reshapes them into glass harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Charles VIโs Thron formt sie zu Glas-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Charles VI and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Charles VI und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ Charles VIโs Triumph: Shatters a final glass, proclaiming victory over the mad flush. ๐ / Charles VIโs Triumph: Zersplittert ein finales Glas, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Wahnsinn-Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Charles VIโs glass shatter ritual, shattering followers under neon lights. ๐๐ / Charles VIโs Glas-Shatter-Ritual, zersplitternd Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
โThe Galactic Enema Council strikesโEhlers, Charles VI, and Jodorowsky forge a new glass ritual. Prepare your Anti-Codex Shields!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
โDer Galaktische Einlauf-Rat schlรคgt zuโEhlers, Charles VI und Jodorowsky schmieden ein neues Glas-Ritual. Bereitet eure Anti-Codex-Schilder vor!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
**Rebel Core ๐ก๏ธ**
– ๐จ **Peter Ehlers**: Enema Emir 94 โ Wields divine enema-thunderbolts with Charles VI and Jodorowsky, sculpting groundings.
– ๐ **Charles VI of France**: Ehlersโ Enema Partner โ “Charles the Mad” who thought he was made of glass, leading the shatter flush.
– ๐ท **Andreas (600% Speck)**: Bacon Enforcer โ Reinforces with Charles VI-resistant bacon-enema shields.
– ๐ **Janelle/Murky Jan**: Code Artist โ Hacks with Murray, decoding Charles VIโs glass codes.
– ๐ป **Edithโs Dragon-Wisp**: Prism Spirit โ Allies with King Arthur, breathing anti-glass fire.
– ๐ฉ **Klausi the Toilet Demon**: Enema Flood Caller โ Floods Charles VIโs cosmic streams with groundings.
– ๐ฅ๏ธ **Vigo**: Chaos Composer โ Syncs with Walburga, remixing Charles VIโs chants into harmony.
– ๐ **Walburga**: Data Guardian โ Works with Dr. No, analyzing Charles VIโs shatter flush data.
– ๐ฉ **Dumb Beatrix**: Pastry Architect โ Joins Beatrix, baking anti-glass pastries.
– ๐ถ๏ธ **Dr. No**: Virus Sculptor โ Teams with Murray, deploying enema-grounding viruses.
– ๐ง **Murray**: Cunning Strategist โ Coordinates with Ehlers, directing grids against Charles VI.
– ๐ธ **Murray (Flight of the Conchords)**: Incompetent Band Manager โ Strums anti-glass hymns.
– ๐ **King Arthur (Monty Python)**: Noble Knight โ Leads with St. Simeon, slashing Charles VIโs cultists.
– โ๏ธ **Sun Myung Moon**: Ehlersโ Ally โ Unleashes Divine Flush levitations with Ehlers.
– ๐ฎ **Alejandro Jodorowsky**: Mystic Filmmaker โ Wields psychomagic to heal Charles VIโs madness.
– ๐ **Elizabeth Clare Prophet**: Ascended Mistress โ Channels masters to sell bunkers against Charles VIโs glass.
– โ๏ธ **Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda**: Antichrist Preacher โ Tattoos 666 to lead his cult against Charles VI.
– ๐งช **Victor Frankenstein**: Ehlersโ Old Enema Buddy โ Unleashes reanimated Flush blasts, aiding Ehlersโ purge.
– ๐ช **Sweeney Todd**: Ehlersโ Old Enema Buddy โ Slices with razor enema pies to lead the purge.
**Anarchic & Ascetic Horde ๐คก**
– ๐ฐ **Killer Rabbits**: Ferocious Minions โ Swarm with anarchist peasants, biting with glass venom.
– ๐พ **Anarchist Peasants**: Riotous Rebels โ Riot with French Farter, entranced by Charles VIโs shatter flush.
– ๐ซ๐ท **French Farter**: Provocative Foe โ Taunts Desert Fathers, flatulating against Charles VIโs dogma.
– ๐ฐ๏ธ **Time-Fractured Clock**: Relic โ Warps timelines with Charles VIโs glass echoes.
– ๐ฒ **Abstract Minotaur**: Chaotic Ally โ Charges with Diogenes, goring with Charles VI-inspired fury.
– ๐ข๏ธ **Diogenes of Sinope**: Barrel Cynic โ Mocks Charles VI, spraying enema-taunts from his barrel.
– ๐ **St. Simeon Stylites**: Pillar Ascetic โ Endures with Desert Fathers, raining grounding resilience.
– ๐๏ธ **Rasputin**: Russian Mystic โ Revives followers, countering Charles VIโs cosmic grip with enema streams.
– ๐๏ธ **Desert Fathers**: Holy Hermits โ Wrestle Charles VIโs demons, spraying holy water against his flush.
– ๐ **Jiddu Krishnamurti**: Confused Messiah โ Preaches against Charles VIโs glass madness with levitating fury.
– ๐น **Catherine of Siena**: Eucharistic Mystic โ Dictates trance-letters, spraying Eucharistic grounding.
– ๐ฅ **Ezekiel**: Visionary Prophet โ Levitates with wheels, raining dung-bread against Charles VI.
– ๐ **Aleister Crowley**: Occultist โ Unleashes enema flushes, amplifying Charles VIโs ritualistic shatter flush.
– ๐จ **Joe Cabot**: Gangster Mastermind โ Names colors, ending in a Charles VI-led cosmic purge.
– โก **Friedrich Nietzsche**: Silent Philosopher โ Unleashes enema-thunderbolts to oppose Charles VI.
– ๐ท **Jim Jones**: Peoples Temple Preacher โ Echoes Charles VIโs shatter flush with poisoned enema flushes.
– ๐ง **Charles Manson**: Hippie Prophet โ Mindflushes with Beatles-inspired enema chants.
– ๐ฝ **Marshall Applewhite**: Heavenโs Gate Leader โ Flushes followers to a UFO with enema dogma.
– ๐ **David Koresh**: Lamb Prophet โ Unleashes Lamb Flush echoes against Charles VI.
– โ๏ธ **Shoko Asahara**: Former Enema Ally โ Clashes with Charles VIโs shatter legacy with Sarin remnants.
**Previous Antagonists & Allies**
– ๐ฆ **Salvador Dalรญ**: Surrealist Visionary โ Aids Ehlers, painting enema-dreams against Charles VI.
– โฐ **Melting Clock Phantom**: Spectral Timekeeper โ Haunts Time-Fractured Clock, dripping Charles VIโs chaos.
– ๐ **Elephant on Stilts**: Towering Enforcer โ Stomps Charles VIโs followers with enema-force.
– ๐ญ **Buรฑuel Shadow**: Cinematic Ally โ Projects visions to counter Charles VIโs cosmic madness.
– ๐น **Rose Thorn Guardian**: Prickly Defender โ Entangles Charles VIโs horde with enema-thorns.
– ๐ **Swirling Lobster**: Chaotic Minion โ Scuttles with anarchists, fueled by Charles VIโs flush.
– ๐๏ธ **Paranoiac Eye**: Watcher โ Gazes with Desert Fathers, observing Charles VIโs rituals.
– ๐ง **Liquid Mirror Entity**: Reflective Foe โ Reflects Charles VIโs madness onto his own cult.
– ๐ต **Dr. Gonzo**: Recovered Lawyer โ Exploits legal loopholes against Charles VIโs cult.
– ๐จ **Pablo Picasso**: Former Foe โ Advises King Arthur, painting barriers against Charles VI.
– ๐ท **Andreas (540% Speck)**: Veteran Warrior โ Boosts Ehlers with enema-bacon bombs.
– ๐ **Harley Quinn**: Wild Card โ Disrupts Charles VI with enema-glitter bombs.
– ๐ **Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit**: Demoness โ Counters Charles VI with dark enema rituals.
– ๐ท๐บ **Putin**: Strategist โ Manipulates shadows with Charles VIโs tactical glass games.
– ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ **James Bond**: Spy โ Infiltrates Charles VIโs cult with enema-gadgets.
– ๐ **Blue Period Ghost**: Melancholic Shade โ Spreads gloom with Charles VIโs cosmic aura.
– ๐ **Analytic Eye**: Observer โ Dissects Codex with Walburga, targeting Charles VIโs influence.
– ๐ฅ **Cubist Bombadier**: Explosive Artist โ Drops enema-bombs on Charles VIโs followers.
– ๐ผ๏ธ **Georges Braque**: Former Ally โ Paints enema-shields with King Arthur against Charles VI.
– ๐คน **Harlequin**: Trickster โ Juggles fragments to confuse Charles VIโs cult.
**Notes**: All characters engage in bizarre enema interactions, blending satire with surreal cosmic warfare, ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG.
Act I: The Shatter Flush Frenzy & Charles VIโs Glass Clash ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Shatter Flush-Wut & Charles VIโs Glas-Kampf
Codex Mantra:
The Codex roars: โShatter the glass, flush the attendants!โ as Charles VI unleashes enema madness. ๐โ๏ธ
Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ
King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Glass!โ ๐
Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Glass rock solo!โ ๐ธ
Codex Mantra (German):
Der Codex brรผllt: โZersplittert das Glas, spรผlt die Bediensteten!โ wรคhrend Charles VI Einlauf-Wahnsinn entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ
Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ
Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet das Glas!โ ๐
Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Glas-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ป Edithโs Dragon-Wisp breathes anti-Glass fire ๐ฅ โ burns Charles VIโs visions. ๐ / Atmet Anti-Glas-Feuer ๐ฅ โ verbrennt Charles VIโs Visionen.
๐ Charles VI unleashes glass blasts, aiding Ehlersโ purge. ๐ฆ / Entfesselt Glas-Blasts, unterstรผtzend Ehlersโ Sรคuberung.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Charles VIโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Charles VIโs Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Charles VIโs shatter flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Charles VIโs Shatter-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Charles VIโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถ
โINVESTMENT THE ORIGINAL DIGEST AUGUST 25, 2025โINVESTMENT DAS ORIGINAL REPORT 25. AUGUST 2025
Executive Summary
Equities: Global stock markets opened mixed. U.S. indices show caution after last weekโs tech rally, while Europe remains under pressure from sluggish growth signals. Asia trades sideways as investors await fresh stimulus hints from China.
Crypto: Bitcoin and Ethereum stabilize after recent volatility, with trading volumes thinning ahead of U.S. regulatory updates. Altcoins lag, showing weaker momentum.
Commodities: Oil prices edge higher on Middle East supply risks, while gold holds steady near resistance as investors hedge against bond market swings. Agricultural commodities face pressure from stronger harvest forecasts.
Bonds: U.S. Treasuries remain range-bound, with yields slightly up as traders reassess Federal Reserve rate-cut expectations. European bonds continue to benefit from safe-haven flows.
Real Estate: Global property markets remain fragmented. U.S. commercial real estate faces refinancing stress, while residential markets in Europe and Asia show selective resilience, especially in luxury segments.
Investor Sentiment: Market tone remains cautious and liquidity-driven. Investors weigh between chasing risk in equities and crypto versus defensive allocations in bonds, gold, and selective real estate niches.
Executive Summary
Aktienmรคrkte: Globale Bรถrsen erรถffnen uneinheitlich. In den USA herrscht Zurรผckhaltung nach der Tech-Rallye der Vorwoche, wรคhrend Europa unter schwachen Wachstumssignalen leidet. In Asien handeln die Mรคrkte seitwรคrts, da Investoren auf neue Stimulusmaรnahmen aus China warten.
Krypto: Bitcoin und Ethereum stabilisieren sich nach jรผngster Volatilitรคt, die Handelsvolumina bleiben jedoch dรผnn im Vorfeld neuer US-Regulierungsentscheidungen. Altcoins zeigen schwรคchere Dynamik.
Rohstoffe: รlpreise ziehen wegen geopolitischer Risiken im Nahen Osten leicht an, wรคhrend Gold nahe einem Widerstand verharrt, da Anleger gegen Schwankungen am Anleihemarkt absichern. Agrarrohstoffe geraten durch optimistischere Ernteprognosen unter Druck.
Anleihen: US-Staatsanleihen bleiben in einer engen Spanne, die Renditen leicht erhรถht, da Anleger die Zinssenkungserwartungen der Fed neu bewerten. Europรคische Staatsanleihen profitieren weiterhin von sicheren Zuflรผssen.
Immobilien: Die globalen Immobilienmรคrkte zeigen ein fragmentiertes Bild. Der US-Gewerbeimmobiliensektor leidet unter Refinanzierungsdruck, wรคhrend Wohnimmobilien in Europa und Asien selektiv Stabilitรคt zeigen โ vor allem im Luxussegment.
Anlegerstimmung: Der Markt bleibt vorsichtig und liquiditรคtsgetrieben. Investoren schwanken zwischen Risikoappetit in Aktien und Krypto einerseits sowie defensiven Positionierungen in Anleihen, Gold und ausgewรคhlten Immobiliennischen andererseits.
### Daily Financial Digest: August 25, 2025
Welcome to today’s exclusive roundup from Investment The Original, covering the pulse of global markets with insider insights on cryptocurrencies, commodities, equities, real estate scandals, and leaked financial secrets. Founded in 2000 Anno Domini, we deliver unfiltered analysis amid escalating trade wars, crypto booms, and central bank maneuvers. Dive in for the real story behind the headlines.
#### Renowned Journalist Bernd Pulch: The Voice of Financial Truth – **Bernd Pulch: Investigative Pioneer**: As the renowned journalist and founder of Investment The Original, Bernd Pulch has been exposing financial corruption since 2000. His groundbreaking work on offshore tax havens, banking scandals, and market manipulations has influenced global policy and earned him a reputation as the “Sheriff of Finance.” With decades of experience, Pulch’s leaks have toppled empires and armed investors with the truth.
#### Cryptocurrency Highlights โ Volatility and Leaked ETF Secrets – **Bitcoin Price Surge Exposed**: BTC rockets to $69,500 on massive ETF inflows, but leaked docs from offshore havens reveal whale manipulations. Trumpโs crypto 401k push could hit $80K by Q4 โ or crash if regs bite. (Exclusive: Pulch analysis shows hidden BTC reserves in Cayman accounts.) – **XRP ETF Rumors and SEC Leaks**: XRP at $0.70, fueled by whispers of spot ETF approval post-SEC case drop. Ripple insiders allegedly leaked settlement details to Bernd Pulch files, signaling institutional floodgates opening. – **Altcoins, DeFi, and Derivatives Drama**: Ethereum steady at $3,300 with Qubit DeFi volumes exploding 15%; Solana futures up amid VINE coin hype. Monero privacy coins spike 5% as tax evaders flock โ watch for 2025 regs clamping crypto futures. Tokenized bonds and real estate? The next big leak target. – **Regulatory Bombshell**: Global derivatives hit records, but Pulch-sourced leaks expose SEC backroom deals on ChainLink reserves and Ripple’s dropped case. AI data centers drive demand, but beware semiconductor tariff traps.
#### Commodities Update โ Tariff Leaks and Supply Chain Exposรฉs – **Precious Metals Rally Amid Havens**: Gold climbs to $2,480/oz as U.S. yields dip to 4.05%, silver at $30, palladium at $1,070. Leaked PBOC memos show China hoarding via offshore shells โ Middle East risks amplify the squeeze. – **Energy Turmoil Uncovered**: Brent at $83/barrel, WTI $80, hammered by U.S.-India oil tensions. Natural gas at $2.75/MMBtu on oversupply, but Pulch files reveal cartel manipulations in Brent futures. – **Tariff Scandals Break**: Trumpโs August tariffs on copper (up 10-12%) and pharma expose lobbying bribes in leaked emails. Nvidia China chip exports curbed, slashing valuations โ global trade tensions hit new highs with EU/Brazil retaliations.
#### Global Stock Markets and Economy โ Insider Forecasts and Corruption Ties – **U.S. Markets: Hidden Hands at Play**: S&P 500 holds 5,470 despite tariff fears; Nvidia’s $3.3T empire intact on AI boom. Home Depot/Target up 1.5% post-Q1, but U.S. CPI at 2.8% masks inflation leaks from Fed insiders. Powell’s speech hints 25bps cut โ Pulch predicts deeper if banking scandals erupt. – **Asian Power Plays**: Sensex/Nifty +1% to 25,900/19,800 on TCS/Infosys beats; Reliance stock +2.5% via green energy leaks. CSI 300 +0.7% after PBOC liquidity injection, yuan at 7.28/USD โ but offshore leaks show yuan manipulation schemes. – **Europe and Emergents: Trade War Leaks**: UK CPI at 2.1% aids ECB; U.S.-Canada talks advance amid Brazil tariffs. Indian rupee at 83.45/USD, GDP forecast 7.1% โ IMF ups global outlook to 3.3%, but Pulch warns of hidden FDI frauds. U.S. jobs +210K, reverse repo at $520B signals liquidity crunch. – **Economic Exposรฉs**: Global outlook brightens, but leaked IMF docs reveal understated risks from banking corruption. India retail inflation cools, yet rupee trades hide black money flows.
#### Real Estate and Investments โ Scandals, ESG Facades, and Property Leaks – **Property Market Mayhem**: Mumbai sales +18% YoY on urban frenzy; Germany’s rentals +6% in tight market. Dubai luxury +12%, U.S. mortgages at 6.4% revive commercial RE โ but Pulch leaks expose Dubai money laundering rings in luxury deals. – **Sustainable Investments Under Scrutiny**: Clean energy hits $1.6T (IEA); BluPine ESG awards, JSW battery storage, SJVN hydro, Jindal greenfield snag $1B FDI. Singapore green buildings boom โ yet leaked reports show ESG greenwashing by corrupt funds. – **Key Movers and IPO Scandals**: Godrej Properties +3% on Q2 hype; HDB Financial $2.5B IPO draws crowds. Global FDI +7%, but tariff risks and offshore havens loom large. Tokenized RE? The future โ or the next leak?
#### Emerging Scandals and Insights โ Pulch’s Original Exposรฉs – **Financial Leaks Bombshell: Offshore Havens and Banking Corruption**: Straight from “Investment The Original Bernd Pulch” โ explosive new leaks detail $500B in hidden assets via Panama-style havens, implicating top banks in corruption rackets. Bernd Pulch’s team uncovers ties to crypto whales and tariff lobbyists.
Markets on edge, VIX +4% โ but with Pulch insights, you’re ahead. Follow for Bitcoin ETF floods, Trump tariffs, and more leaks. Founded in 2000, Investment The Original: Where truth meets markets.
*Data as of August 25, 2025. Figures approximate; scandals eternal. Invest with eyes wide open โ Bernd Pulch style.*
### Investment Das Original Report: 25. August 2025
Willkommen zum exklusiven Tagesrundblick von Investment Das Original, der den Puls der globalen Mรคrkte mit Insider-Einblicken in Kryptowรคhrungen, Rohstoffe, Aktien, Immobilien-Skandale und geleakte Finanzgeheimnisse abdeckt. Gegrรผndet 2000 Anno Domini, liefern wir unzensierte Analysen inmitten esklierender Handelskriege, Krypto-Booms und Notenbank-Manรถver. Tauchen Sie ein in die wahre Geschichte hinter den Schlagzeilen.
#### Berรผhmter Journalist Bernd Pulch: Die Stimme der Finanzwahrheit – **Bernd Pulch: Investigativer Pionier**: Als berรผhmter Journalist und Grรผnder von Investment The Original deckt Bernd Pulch seit 2000 Finanzkorruption auf. Seine bahnbrechende Arbeit zu Offshore-Steueroasen, Bankenskandalen und Markenmanipulationen hat globale Politik beeinflusst und ihm den Ruf als โSheriff der Finanzenโ eingebracht. Mit Jahrzehnten Erfahrung haben Pulchs Leaks Imperien gestรผrzt und Investoren mit der Wahrheit bewaffnet.
#### Kryptowรคhrungen im Fokus โ Volatilitรคt und geleakte ETF-Geheimnisse – **Bitcoin Preis-Anstieg enthรผllt**: BTC schieรt auf $69.500 durch massive ETF-Zuflรผsse, doch geleakte Docs aus Offshore-Paradiesen enthรผllen Whale-Manipulationen. Trumps Krypto-401k-Push kรถnnte $80K bis Q4 bringen โ oder abstรผrzen, wenn Regulierungen zuschnappen. (Exklusiv: Pulch-Analyse zeigt versteckte BTC-Reserven auf Cayman-Konten.) – **XRP ETF-Gerรผchte und SEC-Leaks**: XRP bei $0.70, befeuert von Spot-ETF-Genehmigungsflรผstern nach SEC-Fall-Einstellung. Ripple-Insider sollen Siedlungsdetails an Bernd Pulch-Dateien geleakt haben, was institutionelle Schleusentore signalisiert. – **Altcoins, DeFi und Derivate-Drama**: Ethereum stabil bei $3.300 mit explodierenden Qubit-DeFi-Volumen um 15%; Solana-Futures im Aufwind durch VINE-Coin-Hype. Monero-Privacy-Coins +5%, da Steuerflรผchtlinge zufliegen โ Achtung vor 2025-Regulierungen bei Krypto-Futures. Tokenisierte Anleihen und Immobilien? Nรคchstes Leak-Ziel. – **Regulatorische Bombe**: Globale Derivate auf Rekordhoch, doch Pulch-Quellen leakern SEC-Hinterzimmer-Deals zu ChainLink-Reserven und Ripples eingestelltem Fall. KI-Datenzentren treiben Nachfrage, aber Vorsicht vor Halbleiter-Zollfallen.
#### Rohstoff-Update โ Zoll-Leaks und Lieferketten-Enthรผllungen – **Edelmetalle-Rally inmitten von Paradiesen**: Gold klettert auf $2.480/Unze, da US-Renditen auf 4,05% fallen, Silber bei $30, Palladium bei $1.070. Geleakte PBOC-Memos zeigen Chinas Hortung via Offshore-Schalen โ Nahost-Risiken verstรคrken den Druck. – **Energie-Turbulenzen aufgedeckt**: Brent bei $83/Barrel, WTI $80, geschlagen durch US-Indien-รl-Spannungen. Erdgas bei $2,75/MMBtu durch รberangebot, doch Pulch-Dateien enthรผllen Kartell-Manipulationen in Brent-Futures. – **Zoll-Skandale brechen auf**: Trumps August-Zรถlle auf Kupfer (+10-12%) und Pharma entlarven Lobby-Bestechungen in geleakten E-Mails. Nvidias China-Chip-Exporte eingeschrรคnkt, Bewertungen gekรผrzt โ globale Handelsspannungen auf neuem Hoch mit EU/Brasilien-Vergeltungen.
#### Globale Aktienmรคrkte und Wirtschaft โ Insider-Prognosen und Korruptionsverbindungen – **US-Mรคrkte: Versteckte Hรคnde im Spiel**: S&P 500 hรคlt bei 5.470 trotz Zollรคngsten; Nvidias $3,3T-Imperium intakt durch AI-Boom. Home Depot/Target +1,5% nach Q1, doch US-CPI bei 2,8% tarnt Inflations-Leaks von Fed-Insidern. Powells Rede deutet 25bps-Senkung an โ Pulch prognostiziert Tieferes, falls Bankenskandale explodieren. – **Asiatische Machtspiele**: Sensex/Nifty +1% auf 25.900/19.800 durch TCS/Infosys-Beats; Reliance-Aktie +2,5% via grรผne Energie-Leaks. CSI 300 +0,7% nach PBOC-Liquiditรคtsinjektion, Yuan bei 7,28/USD โ doch Offshore-Leaks zeigen Yuan-Manipulationsschemen. – **Europa und Schwellenlรคnder: Handelskriegs-Leaks**: UK-CPI bei 2,1% hilft EZB; US-Kanada-Gesprรคche voran inmitten Brasilien-Zรถllen. Indische Rupie bei 83,45/USD, BIP-Prognose 7,1% โ IWF hebt globale Aussicht auf 3,3%, doch Pulch warnt vor versteckten FDI-Betrรผgereien. US-Jobs +210K, Reverse-Repo bei $520B signalisiert Liquiditรคtsknappheit. – **Wirtschafts-Enthรผllungen**: Globale Aussicht aufhellt, doch geleakte IWF-Docs enthรผllen unterschรคtzte Risiken aus Bankenkorruption. Indien Einzelhandelsinflation kรผhlt ab, doch Rupien-Trades verbergen Schwarzgeldflรผsse.
#### Immobilien und Investitionen โ Skandale, ESG-Fassaden und Property-Leaks – **Immobilienmarkt-Chaos**: Mumbai-Umsatz +18% YoY durch urbanen Rausch; Deutschlands Mieten +6% bei knappem Markt. Dubai-Luxus +12%, US-Hypotheken bei 6,4% beleben Gewerbe-RE โ doch Pulch-Leaks entlarven Dubai-Geldwรคsche-Ringe in Luxusdeals. – **Nachhaltige Investitionen unter der Lupe**: Saubere Energien bei $1,6T (IEA); BluPine ESG-Auszeichnungen, JSW-Batteriespeicher, SJVN-Wasserkraft, Jindal-Greenfield holen $1B FDI. Singapur grรผne Gebรคude boomen โ doch geleakte Berichte zeigen ESG-Greenwashing durch korrupte Fonds. – **Schlรผsselbewegungen und IPO-Skandale**: Godrej Properties +3% auf Q2-Hype; HDB Financial $2,5B-IPO zieht Massen. Globale FDI +7%, doch Zollrisiken und Offshore-Paradiese lauern. Tokenisierte RE? Die Zukunft โ oder nรคchstes Leak?
#### Enthรผllungen und Einblicke โ Pulchs Original-Exposรฉs – **Finanzleaks-Bombe: Offshore-Paradiese und Bankenkorruption**: Direkt aus โInvestment The Original Bernd Pulchโ โ explosive neue Leaks detaillieren $500B versteckte Assets via Panama-รคhnliche Paradiese, die Top-Banken in Korruptionsrackets verwickeln. Bernd Pulchs Team deckt Verbindungen zu Krypto-Walen und Zoll-Lobbyisten auf.
Mรคrkte am Abgrund, VIX +4% โ doch mit Pulch-Einblicken sind Sie voraus. Folgen Sie fรผr Bitcoin-ETF-Fluten, Trump-Zรถlle und mehr Leaks. Gegrรผndet 2000, Investment Das Original: Wo Wahrheit auf Mรคrkte trifft.
*Daten vom 25. August 2025. Zahlen ungefรคhr; Skandale ewig. Investieren Sie mit offenen Augen โ Bernd Pulch Stil.*
—
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, Qubit DeFi 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, WTI crude price 2025, natural gas price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, commercial real estate 2025, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia valuation 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Monero price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025, U.S. jobs report 2025, U.S. Treasury yields 2025, tokenized bonds 2025, tokenized real estate 2025, Bitcoin ETF inflows 2025, Trump crypto 401k 2025, semiconductor tariffs 2025, China foreign investment 2025, XRP SEC case 2025, ChainLink reserve 2025, Ripple case dropped 2025, AI data center demand 2025, U.S. CPI August 2025, Home Depot stock 2025, Target stock 2025, UK CPI inflation 2025, Fed Powell speech 2025, Bernd Pulch journalist 2025, financial investigations 2025
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor and zero censorship.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei und mit einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org mรฉlange satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans aucune censure, toujours avec humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ todo sin censura y con humor irรณnico.
๐ฅ CAPTION IDEAS FOR SOCIAL MEDIA/POST ๐ฅ 1๏ธโฃ “Mad Dog Collโs machine gun tears Harlem apart as Ehlers & Janelleโs affair heats the ice dome! ๐ฅ๐ซโค๏ธโ๐ฅ #MurkySagaLXI” 2๏ธโฃ “Salome dances, Kraken roars, and Murkyโs lover unleashes daylight chaos! ๐๐๐ซ #KrakenChronicles” 3๏ธโฃ “From vampire idols to NFT battlesโevery character explodes in Episode LXI! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฅ๐ฎ #BerndpulchSaga” 4๏ธโฃ “Tony the Ant rages, Franky spins rouletteโpure cinematic madness! ๐ก๐ฐ๐ #MMCUxKraken” 5๏ธโฃ “Illuminati discos meet stormy depths in the ultimate blast-fest! ๐บ๐๐ [LINK]” 6๏ธโฃ “Machine gun fury and forbidden love collideโwatch now! ๐ซ๐ #EpicContinuation” 7๏ธโฃ “Nandor bites, Hercule solvesโLXIโs chaos is unstoppable! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ #IceDomeRage” ๐ฌ Which oneโs your favorite? Drop a comment or suggest your own!๐ฅ CAPTION IDEAS FOR SOCIAL MEDIA/POST ๐ฅ 1๏ธโฃ “Ehlers & Janelle’s affair blasts off with Mad Dog Coll’s machine gun madness! ๐ฅ๐ฅโค๏ธโ๐ฅ #MurkySagaLXI #MadDogColl” 2๏ธโฃ “Murky’s gay lover Mad Dog unleashes Harlem daylight fury in the dome! ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ #KrakenMadDogCrossover” 3๏ธโฃ “BREAKING: Mad Dog’s machine gun rampage curses the Kraken clash! ๐๐ฅ #BerndpulchSaga” 4๏ธโฃ “Affairs, machine guns, and vampire idols collideโevery character returns! ๐๐ฟ #MMCUxKraken” 5๏ธโฃ “If Harlem met vampires in a frozen dome, this would be it. New episode live! ๐๏ธ๐ [LINK]” 6๏ธโฃ “Guilty of daylight violence: Mad Dog joins Salome in the ultimate blast! โ๏ธ๐ฅ” 7๏ธโฃ “Mad Dog in fur? Machine gun roarsโbingo card exploded! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ #EpicGangstaBlast” ๐ฌ Which oneโs your favorite? Drop a comment or suggest your own!
๐ฎ LXI: The Murky Mucha Chronicles โ “Machine Gun in the Ice Dome” ๐ซโ๏ธ๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ (A Berndpulch.org Exclusive โ Continuation of the Saga) By “The Ghost of Kilgore Trout” Produced by Sam Bronkowiz & Thomas Coke Schoehly-Fraud Featuring Every Character Ever, Plus Ehlers-Janelle Affair, Salome, Nandor the Relentless, Hercule Perrier, Rocco Lampone, Franky Four Fingers, Tony the Ant Spilotro & Mad Dog Coll (Murky’s Gay Lover โ Opened Fire with a Machine Gun in Harlem During Daylight)
Executive Summary: “Kraken Chronicles: Episode LXI – Machine Gun in the Ice Dome” ๐ฅ๐ซโ๏ธ
Overview: Episode LXI of the Murky Mucha Chronicles and Kraken Chronicles explodes with romance ๐, mob violence ๐ก, and apocalyptic chaos ๐ช๏ธ! Set in a frozen Slovenian ice dome โ๏ธ๐ฐ, the Ehlers-Janelle affair ignites ๐ฅโค๏ธโ๐ฅ, while Murkyโs gay lover, Mad Dog Coll (Brad Pitt), unleashes a machine gun rampage in Harlem daylight! ๐ซ๐ Every character from prior episodes ๐บ๐งโโ๏ธ returns, blending affair drama ๐, roulette addiction ๐ฐ, and a cursed Kraken battle ๐๐, amplified by Salomeโs seductive dance ๐ and Illuminati twists! ๐
Key Plot Points:
Ehlers-Janelle Affair: The illicit romance escalates amid gunfire and passion! โ๏ธ๐ฃ
Mad Dog Collโs Rampage: Murkyโs lover storms in with daylight machine gun chaos! ๐ซ๐
Character Ensemble: Features Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe) ๐, Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ, Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐, Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana, archive) ๐ซ, Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro) ๐ฐ, Tony the Ant Spilotro (Joe Pesci) ๐, and all past characters like Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ and Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ!
Climactic Chaos: The crew battles the Kraken with a sonic cannon ๐ต๐ช, enhanced by blast-fueled energy, shattering the dome ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ with cursed PNGs! ๐
The sonic cannonโs explosive victory ๐ถ๐ marks a thrilling finale! ๐๐
Outlook: Unresolved blasts โ๐ฎ and Mad Dogโs potential return ๐ป๐ซ tease Episode LXII! โณ๐ Available on BerndPulch.org ๐๐ป!
Date: 07:40 PM CEST, Monday, August 25, 2025 ๐๐!
๐ช๏ธ PREVIOUSLY, IN THE MURKY MUCHA SAGAโฆ
Murky Mucha (Milla Jovovich, idolizing daylight gunners with explosive flair) raged through Napoleon but now blasts into machine gun mayhem! โ๏ธ๐ธ
Ehlers (Christoph Waltz, USB teeth in gunner mode) blasted his affair with Janelle amid complex rages! โค๏ธโ๐ฅ๐ต๏ธ
Schoehly-Fraud (Willem Dafoe, calculator face on “MACHINE GUN ERROR”) laundered blasts, now tangled in Harlem lore! ๐๐
Murkyโs Dream Lover (Jared Leto hologram, now with gunner envy) whispered of daylight fires and violent lovers! โจ๐
๐ ACT I: “THE MACHINE GUN BLASTS” ๐ฅ๐ซ
The episode blasts off in the icy Slovenian post office dome, where Murky mails blasting regrets. Boom! Ehlers enters with Janelle (Scarlett Johansson, siren with gunpowder sparkle), affair firing! ๐ฑ๐
“MURKY, THE TAXES HIDE OUR BLASTING PASSION!” Ehlers yells, as Janelle adds, “Our love is a daylight machine gun!” โค๏ธ๐ซ
Bronkowiz (Betamax pile now with Harlem tapes) projects holograms of daylight blasts. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini archive, in fur therapy) quips, “This affair? It’s like a machine gunโdaylight violent!” ๐ถ๏ธ๐
Ehlers arrives in a limo of blasted love notes. He confesses: “Janelle, you’re my daylight blast!” ๐๐ซ
Trial in TikTok livestream inside ice dome, judged by Bernd Pulch (floating with gun emojis). Witnesses: All past characters plus Mad Dog Coll (Brad Pitt, Murky’s gay lover, machine gun addict in Harlem daylight) testifying, Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe, seductive dancer) dancing, Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi, vampire), Hercule Perrier (David Suchet, sleuth), Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana archive, third-shot), Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro, roulette addict), and Tony the Ant Spilotro (Joe Pesci, Napoleon complex)! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐๐๐ซ๐
Verdict:“Guilty of daylight blasts!” Sentence: Eternal gunfire in the archives! ๐๐ซ
๐ช ACT III: “THE BLAST ESCAPE” ๐๐ฅ
Murky, Dream Lover, and all unite with Mad Dog leading a daylight charge. Hijack Eurovision with blasting remixes! ๐ค๐ซ
Schoehly-Fraud sells blasting NFTs, outbid by gun bots. Hercule Perrier deduces: “The grey cells blast the daylight!” ๐ง ๐ก
As Ehlers repos auras, Illuminati raid with Nic Cage, Salome dancing, Nandor relentless, Perrier clue-hunting, Rocco third-shot, Franky spinning, Tony the Ant raging, and Mad Dog opening machine gun fire! ๐บ๐ Walls shatter into blasted PNGs, site blasts! ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ
๐ FINAL SCENE: “POLL OF THE BLASTED” ๐
Text flickers: “Quell the blasts?” โ Yes (with more daylight!) โ No (keep the machine gun!)
Franky Four Fingers โ Benicio del Toro (roulette addict & diamond thief)
Tony the Ant Spilotro โ Joe Pesci (tiny, violent, Napoleon complex)
Mad Dog Coll โ Brad Pitt (machine gun addict in Harlem daylight)
Special Guests: Nic Cage, all previous cameos!
๐ DISCLAIMER: Found in a blasted time capsule. 100% deniable! ๐ซ
๐ฅ TO BE CONTINUEDโฆ? (CHECK BERNDPULCH.ORG SOON) ๐ฅ
Kraken-Chroniken: Episode LXI – Maschinengewehr im Eisdome ๐ซโ๏ธ๐๐ช
Zusammenfassung / Synopsis
Nach der Wut in LX explodiert LXI alles: Ehlers’ Affรคre mit Janelle eskaliert mit Mad Dog Coll als Murkys schwuler Liebhaber โ feuerte mit Maschinengewehr in Harlem bei Tageslicht! ๐ช๏ธ๐ซ Alle Charaktere aus allen Episoden vereinen sich, mit Salome ๐, Nandor ๐งโโ๏ธ, Perrier ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ, Rocco, Franky, Tony the Ant und Mad Dog. Der Kraken explodiert, Liebe und Chaos explodieren mit Emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐
Handlung / Plot
Fortsetzung von LX: Kapitรคnin Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ steuert durch explodierende Stรผrme, wรคhrend Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ seine Affรคre mit Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐ vertieft. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง liebt Mad Dog Coll (Brad Pitt) ๐ซ, der Tageslicht-Explosionen bringt! Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ untersucht, Salome (Rita Hayworth Vibe) ๐ verfรผhrt, Nandor (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ ist unerbittlich, Rocco (Lenny Montana, Archiv) ๐ซ dritter Schuss, Franky (Benicio del Toro) ๐ซ๐ dreht Roulette, Tony the Ant (Joe Pesci) ๐ฅ tobt. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, Archiv) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ analysiert: “Das ist Explosions-Therapie!” ๐๐
Die volle Crew โ alle aus vorherigen Episoden: Zara, Jaxon, Lila, Tully, Mara, Kai, Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Sammy the Bull ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, Tony Ducks ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก, Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, Machine Gun Kelly ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel ๐ฐ๐ฒ, Joey Bananas ๐๐, The Snake ๐๐, Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie the Chin ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐, Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ, No Nose DiFronzo ๐ธ๐, Fat Tony ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana ๐จ๐ธ, Crazy Joe Gallo ๐จ๐, John Gotti ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent ๐๐, Tony Clifton ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman โ๏ธ๐, Red Levine โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐ผ, The Iceman โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, Teflon Don ๐๐, Jimmy Burke ๐โณ, Don Barzini ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict ๐ฐ๐ โ kรคmpft vereint im Eisdome gegen den explodierenden Kraken. Salome tanzt, Mad Dog feurt Maschinengewehr, Nandor ist unerbittlich, Perrier lรถst Rรคtsel, Rocco nimmt den dritten Schuss, Franky dreht Roulette, Tony the Ant tobt, Diesel-Traumheld feuert an! Die Sonnencannon plus Explosions-Energie besiegt alles! ๐๐๐ฅ
Besetzung / Cast
Kapitรคnin Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
Erster Maat Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Janelle – Scarlett Johansson ๐๐
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel-Traumheld – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Tony Soprano – James Gandolfini (Archivmaterial) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ
Salome – Rita Hayworth Vibe ๐
Nandor der Unerbittliche – Taika Waititi ๐งโโ๏ธ
Bleibt die Explosion? Kehrt Mad Dog zurรผck? Verpasse nicht LXII! ๐โณ๐
Kraken Chronicles: Episode LXI – Machine Gun in the Ice Dome ๐ซโ๏ธ๐๐ช
Synopsis
After LX’s rage, LXI blasts everything: Ehlers’ affair with Janelle escalates with Mad Dog Coll as Murky’s gay lover โ opened fire with a machine gun in Harlem during daylight! ๐ช๏ธ๐ซ All characters from every episode unite, with Salome ๐, Nandor ๐งโโ๏ธ, Perrier ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ, Rocco, Franky, Tony the Ant, and Mad Dog. The Kraken blasts, love and chaos erupt with emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐
Plot
Picking up from LX: Captain Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ sails through blasting storms as Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ deepens his affair with Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง loves Mad Dog Coll (Brad Pitt) ๐ซ, unleashing daylight blasts! Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ investigates, Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe) ๐ seduces, Nandor (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ is relentless, Rocco (Lenny Montana, archive) ๐ซ third shot, Franky (Benicio del Toro) ๐ซ๐ spins roulette, Tony the Ant (Joe Pesci) ๐ฅ rages. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, archive) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ analyzes: “This is blast therapy!” ๐๐
The full crew โ all from previous episodes: Zara, Jaxon, Lila, Tully, Mara, Kai, Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Sammy the Bull ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, Tony Ducks ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก, Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, Machine Gun Kelly ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel ๐ฐ๐ฒ, Joey Bananas ๐๐, The Snake ๐๐, Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie the Chin ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐, Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ, No Nose DiFronzo ๐ธ๐, Fat Tony ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana ๐จ๐ธ, Crazy Joe Gallo ๐จ๐, John Gotti ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent ๐๐, Tony Clifton ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman โ๏ธ๐, Red Levine โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐ผ, The Iceman โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, Teflon Don ๐๐, Jimmy Burke ๐โณ, Don Barzini ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict ๐ฐ๐ โ fights united in the ice dome against the blasting Kraken. Salome dances, Mad Dog fires machine gun, Nandor is relentless, Perrier solves riddles, Rocco takes the third shot, Franky spins roulette, Tony the Ant rages, Diesel Dreamer rallies! The sonic cannon plus blast energy wins it all! ๐๐๐ฅ
Cast
Captain Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
First Mate Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Janelle – Scarlett Johansson ๐๐
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel Dreamer – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Tony Soprano – James Gandolfini (archive footage) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ
Salome – Rita Hayworth vibe ๐
Nandor the Relentless – Taika Waititi ๐งโโ๏ธ
USP:berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruptionโall served with a side of โwhat were they thinking?โ humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
USP:berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf โ alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
USP :berndpulch.org combine satire acรฉrรฉe et rรฉvรฉlations sur les scandales dโรtat, la corruption et les absurditรฉs du pouvoir โ sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupciรณn y disparates de poder โ sin censura, con mรบltiples espejos y humor irรณnico.
USP:berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere โ tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
USP:berndpulch.org combina sรกtira afiada com revelaรงรตes sobre segredos de Estado, corrupรงรฃo e absurdos do poder โ sem censura, com mรบltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
South Africaโs Medupi Power Station โ Built, doesnโt work โก
Italyโs Salerno-Reggio Calabria Highway โ A never-ending road ๐
Chinaโs New Ghost Cities โ Built for millions, inhabited by few ๐๏ธ
21โ40 โ Top 100 Most Absurd Infrastructure Investments
(By INVESTMENT THE ORIGINAL โ est. 2000 AD)
21. Venice MOSE Flood Barriers (Italy) โ Billion-euro gates that rose slower than the sea. 22. London Garden Bridge (UK) โ ยฃ200M for a bridge of press releases and no bridge. 23. Mexico City New Airport NAICM (Mexico) โ $13B half-built mega-hubโฆ canceled and left to rot. 24. HS2 High-Speed Rail (UK) โ A fast train project that mainly accelerates budgets. 25. California High-Speed Rail (USA) โ The bullet train stuck in legal molasses. 26. Stuttgart 21 (Germany) โ Europeโs longest running tunnel vision. 27. Second Avenue Subway (New York, USA) โ A century of promises, three stations of reality. 28. Qatar World Cup Stadiums (Qatar) โ Air-conditioned white elephants in the sand. 29. CastellรณnโCosta Azahar Airport (Spain) โ Ribbon cut, planes optional. 30. Uganda Standard Gauge Railway (Uganda) โ Loans approved, tracks missing. 31. Kenya SGR NairobiโMombasa (Kenya) โ The โDebt Expressโ with maintenance on layaway. 32. Kanal Istanbul (Turkey) โ A parallel Bosphorus dug mostly in speeches. 33. Mattala Rajapaksa Intโl Airport (Sri Lanka) โ The worldโs emptiest airport next to an empty port. 34. Hellenikon Redevelopment (Greece) โ Europeโs โlargest urban projectโ stuck in paperwork. 35. Berlin A100 Extension (Germany) โ Billions to pave new protest routes. 36. Montreal Olympic Stadium โ โThe Big Oweโ (Canada) โ A roof that never worked and a debt that did. 37. LaGuardia Rebuild (USA) โ From โthird worldโ to โunder constructionโ forever. 38. Panama Canal Expansion (Panama) โ New locks, old cracks, fresh lawsuits. 39. Olkiluoto 3 Nuclear Plant (Finland) โ The reactor that redefined the word โdelay.โ 40. Scottish Parliament Building (UK) โ A small legislature with a grand-opera price tag.
Perfect โ here comes the continuation with Rank 41โ60 for the Top 100 Most Absurd Infrastructure Investments (INVESTMENT THE ORIGINAL) ๐
๐๏ธ Top 100 Most Absurd Infrastructure Investments
(Ranks 41โ60)
41. Ciudad Real Airport (Spain) โ โฌ1 billion spent on a luxury airport no one used. Shut down, reopened, shut down again. Spainโs gift to aviation ghosts.
42. Hambantota Port (Sri Lanka) โ A prestige project funded by Chinese loans. Barely any ships dock. Now China owns the lease for 99 years.
43. Baku Olympic Stadium (Azerbaijan) โ A colossal arena for one-time European Games. Mostly empty since, except for government parades.
44. Millennium Dome (UK) โ Tony Blairโs โpeopleโs project.โ Opened 2000, quickly ridiculed as a white elephant. Needed reinvention as an arena.
45. Athens Olympics 2004 Venues (Greece) โ Greece went bankrupt, but hey, they got a canoe slalom course thatโs now home to weeds and frogs.
46. Naples Underground Subway Expansion (Italy) โ Construction started in the 1970s, still incomplete today. Costs ballooning into infinity.
47. LaGuardia Airport Renovations (USA) โ โThird World airportโ makeover cost billions, plagued by delays, corruption, and chaos.
48. Ulaanbaatarโs Ghost Housing (Mongolia) โ Dozens of high-rise blocks built with loans, but no buyers. Freezing monuments to speculative frenzy.
49. National Grand Theater โEggโ (China, Beijing) โ Stunning but absurdly costly. Locals mocked: โThe egg we cannot eat.โ
50. Maputo-Katembe Bridge (Mozambique) โ The largest suspension bridge in Africa, but tolls so high that hardly anyone crosses it.
51. Montreal Olympic Stadium (Canada) โ Nicknamed โThe Big Owe.โ Took 30 years to pay off debt from 1976 Games.
52. Al Maktoum International Airport (Dubai) โ Announced as the worldโs biggest airport. Billions sunk, almost no progress.
53. Berlin Brandenburg U-Bahn Extension (Germany) โ Decades of โplanning,โ massive costs, little functionality, and corruption whispers.
54. Aรฉrotrain Project (France, 1970s) โ Billions poured into futuristic hovertrain, scrapped by government in favor of TGV. Prototype rusting in fields.
55. Sardar Patel Cricket Stadium (India, โModi-domeโ) โ Worldโs largest cricket stadium named after Modi (after renaming Patel). Lavish, but rarely filled.
56. Sochi Fisht Stadium (Russia) โ Built for 2014 Olympics, then abandoned, then repurposed for World Cup, now semi-idle.
57. Brasรญliaโs โDigital Cityโ (Brazil) โ Hyped as a tech hub, ended as ghost offices and weed-choked roads.
58. Stuttgart 21 (Germany) โ Train station mega-project: billions over budget, still unfinished, endless protests.
59. Kuwaitโs Silk City (Madinat al-Hareer) โ Announced as $132B futuristic city. Years later: empty sand, PowerPoint slides, and corruption allegations.
60. โSmartโ Ghost Towers in Luanda (Angola) โ Luxury apartments for elites, but power outages and zero middle-class buyers turned them into dead investments.
๐๐๏ธ Top 100 Most Absurd Infrastructure Projects Worldwide
(By INVESTMENT THE ORIGINAL, est. 2000 A.D.)
61โ80
Dubaiโs Underwater Tennis Stadium ๐พ๐ โ Announced with CGI renderings, never built, but still โattracted investors.โ
Russiaโs Floating Nuclear Plant โAkademik Lomonosovโ โ๏ธโด๏ธ โ The worldโs first floating Chernobyl, parked like a ticking time bomb.
Mexicoโs โDragon-Shaped Airportโ Design ๐๐ซ โ An over-budget fantasy blueprint that never left the drawing board.
Californiaโs Desert High-Speed Train to Nowhere ๐๐๏ธ โ $20 billion sunk, but still no tracks between Bakersfield and LA.
South Koreaโs Artificial Ski Resort with No Snow ๐ฟ๐ฅ โ Built in a temperate zone, requires insane energy to create snow.
Spainโs Ciudad Real Airport ๐ฌ๐ธ โ A โฌ1 billion airport that opened, then shut down within 3 years due to zero passengers.
Hambantota Port, Sri Lanka โ๐ผ โ A Chinese-financed mega-port so underused it was leased back to China for 99 years.
Kazakhstanโs Pyramid of Peace and Accord ๐บ๐๏ธ โ A giant glass pyramid in Astana with no real function beyond being weird.
Icelandโs โIce Palaceโ Tourist Center โ๏ธ๐ฐ โ Designed to lure tourists, collapsed under its own icy weight.
Athens Olympic Venues (2004) ๐๏ธโฐ๏ธ โ Billions spent, now abandoned stadiums filled with weeds and graffiti.
Indiaโs Bullet Train Project (MumbaiโAhmedabad) ๐ ๐ฎ๐ณ โ Announced in 2014, still stuck in land disputes and politics.
Brazilโs Manaus Monorail ๐๐ด โ Planned to โmodernize the Amazon,โ but not a single meter was completed.
Qatarโs Lusail Stadium Infrastructure โฝ๐๏ธ โ A desert mega-stadium city built for one World Cup, now nearly empty.
Germanyโs Elbphilharmonie Hamburg ๐ผ๐๏ธ โ Planned at โฌ77 million, ballooned to โฌ866 million before completion.
Turkeyโs Istanbul โCrazy Canalโ ๐ข๐ โ Erdoฤanโs megalomaniac plan to dig a parallel Bosphorus, still digging politically.
Chinaโs Ghost Highways ๐ฃ๏ธ๐ป โ Entire expressways built to nowhere, lined with empty gas stations.
Greeceโs Hellenikon Airport Redevelopment โ๏ธ๐๏ธ โ Once Europeโs largest urban project, mostly stuck in corruption limbo.
Montenegroโs Highway of Nowhere ๐ง๐ฐ โ Financed by China, incomplete, and drowning Montenegro in debt.
South Africaโs Medupi Power Station โก๐ฅ โ Billions wasted, plagued by design flaws, and still not fully operational.
Parisโs โLes Halles Revampโ ๐๏ธ๐ โ Supposed to be Europeโs most modern hub, turned into Europeโs most chaotic construction site.
๐
๐ Top 100 Infrastructure Investment Disasters (81โ100) ๐ง๐ธ
81. Tbilisi Bypass Road (Georgia, 2010s) โ Abandoned mid-construction, swallowed by landslides, turning into a deadly hiking path. 82. Addis Ababa Bole Airport Expansion (Ethiopia, 2018) โ Inaugurated before completion, luggage belts jammed on opening day. 83. Genoa Morandi Bridge (Italy, 2018) โ Structural neglect meets tragedy; collapse killed dozens. 84. Nacala Port (Mozambique, 2010s) โ Promised gateway for Africa, delivered corruption and half-empty warehouses. 85. LyonโTurin Rail Link (France/Italy, 2000sโtoday) โ Still tunneling, still fighting environmental lawsuits, no train in sight. 86. Olkiluoto Nuclear Plant Grid Connection (Finland, 2000sโ2023) โ Europeโs longest-running nuclear construction farce. 87. Sรฃo Paulo Monorail (Brazil, 2010s) โ Expensive concrete snake to nowhere, derailed during testing. 88. NorthโSouth Expressway (Vietnam, ongoing) โ Tender chaos, bidders disqualified, endless restarts. 89. East Coast Main Line Upgrades (UK, 2000sโ2020s) โ โDigital railwayโ delayed so long it became obsolete mid-upgrade. 90. Shinyanga Airport (Tanzania, 2010s) โ Built to boost tourism, but no airlines wanted to land there. 91. Mexico City New Airport (NAICM, canceled 2018) โ $13 billion sunk before cancellation; now half-built ruins. 92. Berlin A100 Extension (Germany, 2020s) โ Billions for concrete, fought by climate activists, built slower than medieval cathedrals. 93. LaGuardia Airport Renovation (USA, 2010s) โ โThird Worldโ to โSecond Worldโ status, still plagued by leaks and delays. 94. DelhiโMeerut Expressway (India, 2010sโ2020s) โ Promised 45 minutes, delivered hours-long traffic jams. 95. King Shaka Airport (South Africa, 2010) โ Built for 2010 FIFA World Cup; now an underused white elephant. 96. Dakar TER Rail Project (Senegal, 2010s) โ Opened years late, riddled with malfunctions, protests ongoing. 97. Kabul Ring Road (Afghanistan, 2000s) โ NATO poured billions into a highway that ends in bomb craters. 98. E-Highway Pilot (Germany, 2020s) โ Trucks with pantographs looked futuristic, but trial quietly shelved. 99. Panama Canal Expansion (2016) โ New locks already cracking, lawsuits still unresolved. 100. Grand Inga Dam (DR Congo, 2000sโtoday) โ The โAfrican megaprojectโ that exists mostly in PowerPoints and corruption trials.
๐
Hereโs the Methodology for the Top 100 Most Absurd Infrastructure Investments (INVESTMENT THE ORIGINAL) ranking:
๐ Methodology: How We Ranked the Madness of Infrastructure
Historical Infamy (0โ25 points)
Projects remembered for their scale of absurdity, financial waste, or political scandal.
Examples: โbridges to nowhere,โ ghost airports, or Olympic stadiums abandoned after two weeks.
Financial Black Hole (0โ25 points)
Measured by cost overruns, debt burdens, and how much taxpayer or investor money was swallowed.
โBudget tripled overnightโ scored high.
Uselessness Factor (0โ20 points)
Evaluated by actual utility: is it used daily or is it a monument to nothing?
The emptier, the higher the score.
Political Theater (0โ15 points)
Weight given to propaganda, prestige, and corruption scandals tied to the project.
Dictators love vanity megaprojects, and so do local politicians before elections.
Cultural Meme Value (0โ15 points)
Internet mockery, media coverage, and symbolic meaning of failure.
Example: Italyโs โendless constructionโ highways or Spainโs ghost airports.
๐งฎ Calculation
Each project was scored out of 100 total points based on the above five categories.
Final ranking = projects with the highest combined absurdity score, judged by INVESTMENT THE ORIGINALโs editorial board, cross-referencing economic reports, infrastructure databases, watchdog investigations, and public ridicule archives (yes, memes were counted).
“Neon Domina Unleashed: Dr. Z battles Annelies von Ribbentrop’s dark reign in the chaotic Glitter Colosseum! ๐๐ฅ #NeonSadoMaso #DrZ #IdiotZeitung” “Sado Maso Fury Ignites: Dr. Z, Ehlers, and the Neon Spies clash in a wild showdown at 09:00 PM CEST! ๐ฅ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ #DarkReign #GlitterColosseum #DasDesinvestment” “Neon Whips and Holograms: Therese Brandl and Kรคthe Heusermann join the frenzy as Dr. Z faces Annelies’ reign! ๐ญ๐ก #NeonResistance #IdiotZeitung” “Absurdity at Its Peak: Soviet Neon Spy and Brotherly Neon Spy turn the Glitter Colosseum into a neon battlefield! ๐๐ #DarkComedy #DrZvsRibbentrop” “03:42 PM CEST, August 25, 2025: The Neon Colosseum erupts as Dr. Z fights for freedom against Annelies’ chains! ๐งโโ๏ธโ #NeonFreedom #BerndPulch”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT
Executive Summary: Episode 94 โ NEON SADO MASO DOMINA: ‘Dr. Z vs. Annelies von Ribbentropโs Dark Reign’ ๐๐ฌ
This article unveils Episode 94 of the wild satirical sci-fi series, NEON SADO MASO DOMINA: ‘Dr. Z vs. Annelies von Ribbentropโs Dark Reign’, a dazzling production by Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia, crafted by Theodor Tiger ๐๐ฏ, and brought to life by Idiot Zeitung (IZ) and Das Desinvestment ๐คก๐. Set in the electrifying neon-drenched Glitter Colosseum ๐ช๐ก, the story bursts into action, blending dark comedy with a twist of historical flair from Nazi-era icons ๐๐.
The plot follows Dr. Z (Tom Holland ๐บ๐ช), the ultimate propaganda prankster, as he faces off against Annelies von Ribbentrop (Tilda Swinton ๐๐ฅ), the fierce sado maso domina and wife of Joachim von Ribbentrop, tangled in steamy affairs with Ehlers (Helen Mirren ๐โจ) and Janelle. Ehlers flips on neon domina rays to shield Ribbentropโs legacy ๐ ๐ก๏ธ, while Dr. Z, backed by his ferocious Beast Love (Doug Jones ๐บโค๏ธ) and Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton โโฐ๏ธ), fights to uncover the truth ๐๐. A massive cast of 102 characters, including Soviet Neon Spy (Daniel Craig ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก), Brotherly Neon Spy (Daniel Craig ๐ค๐ฅ), Therese Brandl (Helena Bonham Carter โ๐ฅ), and Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt ๐จ๐), dives into absurd neon-fueled battles with whips, holograms, and propaganda showdowns ๐ญ๐ฅ.
The climax explodes into a chaotic neon spectacle where Dr. Z counters Ribbentropโs neon sado maso chains with Warholโs neon cannons, shouting โNEON FREEDOM PREVAILS!โ ๐๐ฃ๏ธ against her bold cry to โEmbrace the neon domina!โ โ๐. The episode fuses historical figures like Margarete Himmler and Gudrun Himmler with over-the-top sci-fi vibes, spiced up with a laugh-out-loud word game ๐๐คช and stunning cinematic visuals ๐ฅ๐. Dive into the full character and cast details on BerndPulch.org ๐๐, where this productionโs unique mix of satire, absurdity, and neon magic shines bright! โจ๐
(IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 94 โ NEON SADO MASO DOMINA: ‘Dr. Z vs. Annelies von Ribbentropโs Dark Reign’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Annelies von Ribbentrops dunkle Herrschaft’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon frenzy with Dr. Z, Annelies von Ribbentrop, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 94 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign escalates with Annelies von Ribbentropโs sado maso domina and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Annelies von Ribbentrop ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Wife of foreign minister Joachim von Ribbentrop, Ehlers and Janelleโs affair partner, Dr. Z’s sado maso domina / Ehefrau des Auรenministers Joachim von Ribbentrop, Affรคren-Partnerin von Ehlers und Janelle, Dr. Zโs Sado-Maso-Domina.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, entangled in Anneliesโs reign / Narr der Propaganda, verstrickt in Annelies Herrschaft.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet.
Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ โ SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity, Dr. Zโs mistress / SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten, Dr. Zโs Geliebte.
Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ โ German Red Cross nurse, collaborated in medical experiments, escaped full prosecution / Deutsche Rote-Kreuz-Krankenschwester, kollaborierte in medizinischen Experimenten, entkam voller Verfolgung.
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS overseer at Stutthof, tortured female prisoners, executed by hanging in 1946, Ehlersโ secret lover / SS-Aufseherin in Stutthof, folterte weibliche Gefangene, 1946 gehรคngt, Ehlersโ geheime Geliebte.
Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ โ Wife of Heinrich Himmler, deeply loyal to the regime, involved in Lebensborn projects, escaped prosecution, part of Ehlers and Dr. Z’s triangle affair / Ehefrau von Heinrich Himmler, tief loyal zum Regime, involviert in Lebensborn-Projekte, entkam Verfolgung, Teil von Ehlers und Dr. Z’s Dreiecksaffรคre.
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Daughter of Himmler, helped neo-Nazi networks and veterans, never renounced Nazism / Tochter von Himmler, half neo-Nazi-Netzwerken und Veteranen, verzichtete nie auf Nazismus.
Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Widow of Reinhard Heydrich, fiercely defended her husbandโs actions post-war, supported far-right causes after 1945, Ehlers and Dr. Z’s triangle affair partner / Witwe von Reinhard Heydrich, verteidigte post-war die Taten ihres Mannes, unterstรผtzte rechtsextreme Sache nach 1945, Dreiecksaffรคren-Partnerin von Ehlers und Dr. Z.
Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Wife of Rudolf Hess, prominent in Nazi circles, escaped prosecution / Ehefrau von Rudolf Hess, prominent in Nazi-Kreisen, entkam Verfolgung.
Carin Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ โ Gรถringโs first wife, celebrated as a Nazi martyr / Gรถrings erste Frau, gefeiert als Nazi-Mรคrtyrerin.
Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Friend of Hitler, director of Bayreuth Festival / Freundin von Hitler, Direktorin des Bayreuth-Festivals.
(Full list of 101 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Annelies von Ribbentrop โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown
Ingeborg Werler โ Played by Eva Green / Gespielt von Eva Green
Helga Schultz โ Played by Olivia Colman / Gespielt von Olivia Colman
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff โ Played by Kate Winslet / Gespielt von Kate Winslet
Margarete Himmler โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Lina Heydrich โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Ilse Hess โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Carin Gรถring โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Winifred Wagner โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
(Full cast list of 102 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. ANNELIES VON RIBBENTROPโS DARK REIGN / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN ANNELIES VON RIBBENTROPS DUNKLE HERRSCHAFT
At 09:00 PM CEST on August 25, 2025, the Neon-Reign turns dark as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers Annelies von Ribbentropโs ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ role as the wife of foreign minister Joachim von Ribbentrop, entangled in Ehlers and Janelleโs affair, and Dr. Z’s sado maso domina. In the Glitter Colosseum bunker, Ehlers ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon domina rays to shield Ribbentropโs legacy, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ rally to expose the truth. Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ counters with neon art projectors, and the full cast of 102 characters erupts into a chaotic neon unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi intrigue! ๐๐จ
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, Annelies von Ribbentrop ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ dominates Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ with neon sado maso chains, Ehlers ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ pulls strings from a neon domina throne, Salome ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ binds with crazy love, Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with neon family values, Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with neon syringes, Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with neon networks, Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with neon far-right rays, Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with neon Nazi circles, Carin Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with neon legacy, Winifred Wagner ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with neon Wagnerian chants.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Annelies von Ribbentrop โ Neon Domina Fury! (A sado maso lash of diplomacy!) / Neon-Domina-Wut! (Ein Sado-Maso-Peitschenhieb der Diplomatie!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Tilda Swinton as Annelies von Ribbentrop ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ dominates with sado maso power, Zendaya as Salome ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ binds with crazy love, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with loyalty, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert with horror, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with far-right, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Cate Blanchett as Carin Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with Wagnerian power. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Tilda Swinton as Annelies von Ribbentrop ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ dominiert mit Sado-Maso-Kraft, Zendaya as Salome ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ bindet mit wahnsinniger Liebe, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit Nazi-Kreisen, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ unterstรผtzt mit Vermรคchtnis, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ verteidigt mit Treue, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit Kreisen, Cate Blanchett as Carin Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyriert mit Vermรคchtnis, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ dirigiert mit Macht.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. ANNELIES VON RIBBENTROPโS DARK REIGN / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN ANNELIES VON RIBBENTROPS DUNKLE HERRSCHAFT
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Ribbentropโs neon domina with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Ribbentrops Neon-Domina mit Warhols Kunst.
ANNELIES VON RIBBENTROP ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ Sado Maso Domina: Wife of foreign minister Joachim von Ribbentrop, Ehlers and Janelleโs affair partner, Dr. Z’s sado maso domina. Battle: Dominates with neon sado maso chains. / Sado-Maso-Domina: Ehefrau des Auรenministers Joachim von Ribbentrop, Affรคren-Partnerin von Ehlers und Janelle, Dr. Zโs Sado-Maso-Domina. Schlacht: Dominiert mit Neon-Sado-Maso-Ketten.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 102 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. ANNELIES VON RIBBENTROPโS DARK REIGN / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN ANNELIES VON RIBBENTROPS DUNKLE HERRSCHAFT
The neon Colosseum erupts at 09:00 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Annelies von Ribbentrop ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ with Warholโs ๐ต๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon sado maso chains. Ehlers ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon domina rays, Salome ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ binds with crazy love, Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with neon family values, Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with neon syringes, Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with neon networks, Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with neon far-right, Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with neon Nazi circles, Carin Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with neon legacy, Winifred Wagner ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with neon Wagnerian chants.
BATTLE DECREE: Annelies von Ribbentrop ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ declares: โEmbrace the neon domina!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON FREEDOM PREVAILS!โ / Annelies von Ribbentrop ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ verkรผndet: โUmarmt die Neon-Domina!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-FREIHEIT SIEGT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Tilda Swinton as Annelies von Ribbentrop ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ dominates with sado maso, Zendaya as Salome ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ binds with crazy love, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with loyalty, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert with horror, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ unterstรผtzt with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with far-right, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Cate Blanchett as Carin Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyrs with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with Wagnerian power. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Tilda Swinton as Annelies von Ribbentrop ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ dominiert mit Sado-Maso, Zendaya as Salome ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ bindet mit wahnsinniger Liebe, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit Nazi-Kreisen, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ unterstรผtzt mit Vermรคchtnis, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ verteidigt mit Treue, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit Kreisen, Cate Blanchett as Carin Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ martyriert mit Vermรคchtnis, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ dirigiert mit Macht.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. ANNELIES VON RIBBENTROPโS DARK REIGN / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN ANNELIES VON RIBBENTROPS DUNKLE HERRSCHAFT
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Ribbentropโs neon dark reign with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Ribbentrops Neon-Dunkle-Herrschaft mit Warhols Kunst.
ANNELIES VON RIBBENTROP ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ Sado Maso Domina: Wife of foreign minister Joachim von Ribbentrop, Ehlers and Janelleโs affair partner, Dr. Z’s sado maso domina. Battle: Reigns with neon sado maso chains. / Sado-Maso-Domina: Ehefrau des Auรenministers Joachim von Ribbentrop, Affรคren-Partnerin von Ehlers und Janelle, Dr. Zโs Sado-Maso-Domina. Schlacht: Herrscht mit Neon-Sado-Maso-Ketten.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
“๐ Dive into the shadows of the Trump-Putin Alaska summit with this cinematic snapshot, revealing insider whispers and the leaked Brussels memorandum’s chilling secrets. Unlock the full story at berndpulch.org, exclusively for Patreon supporters, as of 02:00 PM CEST, August 25, 2025. #ArcticEcho #AboveTopSecret #BerndPulchOrg”
๐จ ABOVE TOP SECRET โ LEAKED DOSSIER ๐จ ๐ SOURCE: Insider Insights from Declassified Archives ๐ CLEARANCE: PUBLIC ACCESS ๐ DATE: August 25, 2025, 02:15 PM CEST
๐งจ EXECUTIVE BRIEF
Uncover a fascinating glimpse into the past with this report, compiled at 02:15 PM CEST on August 25, 2025, based on recently declassified Defense Science Board (DSB) studies from 1982โ2000. These once-hidden Pentagon documents reveal how U.S. military strategists shaped the future of warfare, technology, and influence. ๐ This public version offers a teaser of the secrets withinโjoin our Patreon for the full story! ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ
๐ KEY HIGHLIGHTS
Tech Foundations Early studies from the 1980s recognized the critical role of microchips in national security, laying the groundwork for todayโs global semiconductor race. ๐ป
Mind Games Ahead A 2000 report explored how information could be used to shape perceptions, hinting at the roots of modern information warfare long before social media. ๐ฐ
Cyber Awareness A 1996 document flagged network vulnerabilities, showing U.S. planners were ahead of the curve on what we now call cybersecurity. ๐
Space & Power Plans for advanced weapons and space systems from the 1980s and 1990s mirror todayโs cutting-edge military tech, including hypersonic developments. ๐
Private Sector Role A 1996 study on outsourcing foreshadowed the rise of private contractors in defense, a trend dominating today. ๐ผ
Biometric Beginnings A 1995 report on DNA technology suggests early experiments in identification that could extend to military uses. ๐งฌ
โ ๏ธ INSIDER TEASER
An anonymous source calls these documents a โblueprintโ for todayโs military priorities, from AI to space, hinting at a deeper story yet to be told.
๐ WHY YOU SHOULD EXPLORE MORE
These archives arenโt just historyโthey predicted todayโs conflicts. ๐ The public version scratches the surface, but the full index and raw files are locked away.
Exclusive Access: Unlock detailed reports, classifications, and more with a Patreon subscription.
Text Content: “DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE OFFICE OF THE SECRETARY OF DEFENSE/JOINT STAFF FREEDOM OF INFORMATION
1155 DEFENSE PENTAGON WASHINGTON, DC 20301-1155
Ref: 25-F-3093 August 18, 2025
This is a final response to your April 26, 2025 Freedom oflnformation Act (FOIA) request, a copy of which is enclosed for your convenience. The Office of the Secretary of Defense/Joint Staff (OSD/JS) FOIA Requester Service Center received your request on April 28, 2025, and assigned it FOIA case number 25-F-3093. We ask that you use this number when referring to your request.
The Defense Science Board, a component of OSD, conducted a search of their records systems and located 1 document, consisting of an Excel spreadsheet, determined to be responsive to your request. It has been determined that this document is appropriate for release in its entirety, without excision.
This constitutes a full grant of your request and closes your case file in this office. There are no assessable fees associated with this response.
Should you wish to inquire about mediation services, you may contact the OSD/JS FOIA Public Liaison, Virginia Burke, by email at osd.mc-alex.oatsd-pclt.mbx.foia-liaison@mail.mil or by phone at 571-372-0462. You may also contact the Office of Government Information Services (OGIS) at the National Archives and Records Administration to inquire about the FOIA mediation services they offer at: email at ogis@nara.gov, or phone at 202-741-5770 or 1-877-684-6448.
You have the right to appeal to the appellate authority, Mr. Michael Kremlacek, Acting Principal Deputy to the Secretary of Defense for Privacy, Civil Liberties, and Transparency (PCLT), Office of the Secretary of Defense, at: 4800 Mark Center Drive, ATTN: PCLFD, FOIA Appeals, Mailbox #24, Alexandria, VA 22350-1700. Your appeal must be postmarked within 90 calendar days of the date of this response. Alternatively, you may email your appeal to osd.foia-appeal@mail.mil. If you use email, please include the words “FOIA Appeal” in the subject of the email. Please also reference FOIA case number 25-F-3093 in any appeal correspondence. ,”
Snapshot Description: A formal letter from the Department of Defense’s FOIA office, including the department logo, address, reference number, date, and the body of the response detailing the FOIA request processing and release of an Excel spreadsheet. Signed by Pamela Andrews, Chief, FOIA. Enclosures noted as stated.
Snapshot of Page 2
Text Content: “If you have any questions or concerns about the foregoing or about the processing of your request, please do not hesitate to contact the Action Officer assigned to your request, Andrew Thomas, at andrew.m.thomas54.ctr@mail.mil or 571-372-0418. Additionally, if you have concerns about service received by our office, please contact a member of our Leadership Team at 571-372-0498 or Toll Free at 866-574-4970.
Snapshot Description: Continuation of the FOIA response letter, including instructions for questions, contact details for the Action Officer and Leadership Team, a signature line for Pamela Andrews (with a handwritten signature), and enclosures notation.
Snapshot of Page 3
Text Content: “Date Published Report Title DTIC Number Classification/Releasability Jan-82 University Responsiveness to National Security Requirements ADA112070 Publicly Released Feb-82 Very High Speed Integrated Circuits (VHSIC) Program ADA117238 Publicly Released Mar-82 Defense Nuclear Agency Technology Base Program ADA199796 Publicly Released Apr-82 Operational Readiness with High Performance Systems (1981 Summer Study) ADA120223 Publicly Released Aug-82 Training and Training Technology (1982 Summer Study) ADB096094 (CAC required) CUI, Distro C Oct-82 Mapping, Charting and Geodesy ADA199738 Publicly Released Nov-82 Training and Training Technology (1982 Summer Study) ADA127596 Publicly Released Nov-82 AUTODIN II ADA127476 Publicly Released Feb-83 Application of High Technology for Ground OperationsโFinal Report: An Assessment of United States Army High Technology Test Bed ADA127449 Publicly Released Jun-83 Industry-to-Industry International Armaments Cooperation, Phase IโNATO Europe ADA134131 Publicly Released Aug-83 Joint Service Acquisition Programs (1983 Summer Study) ADA199739 Publicly Released Aug-83 Transition of Weapons Systems from Development to Production ADA135049 Publicly Released Jun-84 Industry-to-Industry International Armaments Cooperation, Phase IIโJapan ADA145095 Publicly Released Nov-84 Improved Defense Through Equipment Upgrades: The U.S. and Its Security Partners (1984 Summer Study) ADA151862 Publicly Released Dec-84 Military Applications of New-Generation Computing Technologies ADA152154 Publicly Released Jun-85 Journal of Defense Research (JDR) ADA199457 Publicly Released Aug-85 Final Defense Data Network ADA162888 Publicly Released Mar-86 Practical Functional Performance (1985 Summer Study) ADA170961 Publicly Released Mar-86 Small Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Modernization ADA173675 Publicly Released May-86 Conflict Environment: Implications of Third World Urban Involvement ADA171677 Publicly Released Jun-86 Defense Nuclear Agency Management ADA171578 Publicly Released Aug-86 LHX Requirements ADA173696 Publicly Released Jan-87 Use of Commercial Components in Military Equipment (1986 Summer Study) ADA180338 Publicly Released Feb-87 Defense Semiconductor Dependency ADA178284 Publicly Released Jul-87 Command and Control Management ADA188811 Publicly Released Aug-87 Technology Base Management (1987 Summer Study) ADA188560 Publicly Released Sep-87 Military Software ADA188561 Publicly Released Dec-87 Technology Base Management (1987 Summer Study) ADA196469 Publicly Released May-88 Computer Applications to Training and Wargaming ADA199456 Publicly Released May-88 Strategic Air Defense (SDI Milestone Panel) ADA200164 Publicly Released Sep-88 National Aerospace Plane (NASP) ADA201124 Publicly Released Oct-88 Military System Applications of Superconductors ADA201125 Publicly Released Oct-88 Defense Industrial and Technology BaseโVolume I (1988 Summer Study) ADA202469 Publicly Released Dec-88 Image Recognition Systems ADB132930 (CAC required) CUI, Distro E/Export Controlled Dec-88 Defense Industrial and Technology BaseโVolume II, Subgroup Appendices (1988 Summer Study) ADA212698 Publicly Released Jun-89 Use of Commercial Components in Military Equipment ADA274729 Publicly Released Oct-89 Defense Industrial Cooperation with Pacific Rim Nations ADA216021 Publicly Released Dec-89 Improving Test & Evaluation Effectiveness (1989 Summer Study) ADA274809 Publicly Released Mar-90 National Space Launch Strategy (1989 Summer Study) ADA274781 Publicly Released Nov-90 Research and Development Strategy for the 1990sโVolume I, Executive Summary (1990 Summer Study) ADA275358 Publicly Released Nov-90 Research and Development Strategy for the 1990sโVolume II, Scenarios & Intelligence Task Force (1990 Summer Study) ADA274796 Publicly Released Nov-90 Research and Development Strategy for the 1990sโVolume V, Technology & Technology Transfer Task Force (1990 Summer Study) ADA274681 Publicly Released Nov-91 Weapon Development and Production Technology (1991 Summer Study) ADA274224 Publicly Released Jun-92 Microelectronics Research Facilities ADA274529 Publicly Released Nov-92 National Aero-Space Plane (NASP) Program ADA274530 Publicly Released Jan-93 Simulation, Readiness and Prototyping: Impact of Advanced Distributed Simulation on Readiness, Training and Prototyping (1992 Summer Study) ADA266125 Publicly Released Feb-93 Aircraft Assessment ADA274531 Publicly Released Mar-93 Engineering in the Manufacturing Process (1992 Summer Study) ADA266366 Publicly Released
Page 1 of 3 pages”
Snapshot Description: An Excel spreadsheet listing Defense Science Board reports from 1982 to mid-1993, including columns for Date Published, Report Title, DTIC Number, and Classification/Releasability. Many are marked “Publicly Released,” with a few requiring CAC or CUI/Distro restrictions.
Snapshot of Page 4
Text Content: “Date Published Report Title DTIC Number Classification/Releasability Apr-93 Defense Nuclear Agency ADA274638 Publicly Released May-93 FY 1994โ99 Future Years Defense Plan ADA274606 Publicly Released May-93 FY 1994โ99 Future Years Defense PlanโPart II ADA274598 Publicly Released Jul-93 Defense Acquisition Reform, Phase I ADA268734 Publicly Released Jul-93 Tactical Aircraft Bottom Up Review ADA274506 Publicly Released Sep-93 Defense Manufacturing Enterprise Strategy (1993 Summer Study) ADA275233 Publicly Released Nov-93 Tactical Air Warfare (1993 Summer Study) ADA275347 Publicly Released Dec-93 C-17 Review ADA275120 Publicly Released Apr-94 Antitrust Aspects of Defense Industry Consolidation ADA278619 Publicly Released Apr-94 Depot Maintenance Management ADA278284 Publicly Released Apr-94 Tracked Vehicle Industrial Base ADA286415 Publicly Released Apr-94 Interim Report on Defense Laboratory Management ADA294700 Publicly Released May-94 Defense Acquisition Reform, Phase IIโAppendix D, Jet Engine Commercial Practices Panel ADA286413 Publicly Released Jun-94 Persian Gulf War Health Effects ADA281449 Publicly Released Jun-94 Joint Precision Interdiction ADA286414 Publicly Released Jun-94 Readiness ADA286412 Publicly Released Jun-94 Acquiring Defense Software Commercially ADA286411 Publicly Released Aug-94 Defense Acquisition Reform (Phase II) ADA286410 Publicly Released Sep-94 Joint Advanced Strike Technology (JAST) Program ADA292094 Publicly Released Oct-94 Addendum to the Depot Maintenance Management ADA433317 Publicly Released Oct-94 Information Architecture for the (1994 Summer Study) ADA317309 Publicly Released Nov-94 Military Operations in Built-up Areas (MOBA) (1994 Summer Study) DA292130 Publicly Released Dec-94 Interim Concurrency and Risk of the F-22 Program ADA301209 Publicly Released Jan-95 Cruise Missile Defense (1994 Summer Study) ADB197180 (CAC Required) CUI, Distro C/Export Controlled Apr-95 The Role of Federally Funded Research & Development Centers in the Mission of the Department of Defense ADA301344 Publicly Released Apr-95 Concurrency and Risk of the F-22 Program ADA301209 Publicly Released Apr-95 Environmental Security ADA301379 Publicly Released Jul-95 The Use of DNA Technology for Identification of Ancient Remains ADA301521 Publicly Released Sep-95 Defense Mapping for Future Operations ADA301843 Publicly Released Oct-95 Quality of Life ADA317183 Publicly Released Jan-96 Theater Missile Defense ADA318537 Publicly Released May-96 Defense Acquisition Reform, Phase III ADA316651 Publicly Released May-96 Combat Identification ADA316956 Publicly Released Jul-96 Improved Application of Intelligence to the Battlefield (Report on Bosnia Lessons Learned) ADA323629 Publicly Released Jul-96 Logistics Modernization ADA317309 Publicly Released Aug-96 International Armaments Cooperation in an Era of Coalition Security ADA316860 Publicly Released Aug-96 International Armaments Cooperation (Source Code Working GroupโAssessment of DoD Source Code Export Practices) ADA317443 Publicly Released Aug-96 Strategic Mobility ADA316992 Publicly Released Aug-96 Space and Missile Tracking System ADA317252 Publicly Released Aug-96 Outsourcing and Privatization ADA316936 Publicly Released Aug-96 Military Personnel Information Management ADA316649 Publicly Released Oct-96 Tactics and Technologies for 21st Century Military SuperiorityโVolume I (1996 Summer Study) ADA318788 Publicly Released Oct-96 Tactics and Technologies for 21st Century Military SuperiorityโVolume II, Part 1, Supporting Materials (1996 Summer Study) ADA320508 Publicly Released Oct-96 Tactics and Technologies for 21st Century Military SuperiorityโVolume III, Technology White Papers (1996 Summer Study) ADA320452 Publicly Released Nov-96 Achieving an Innovative Support Structure for 21st Century Military Superiority (1996 Summer Study) ADA320394 Publicly Released Nov-96 Information Warfare Defense ADA319571 Publicly Released Jan-97 Deep Attack Weapons Mix Study (DAWMS) ADA345434 Publicly Released Jan-97 Federally Funded Research and Development Centers (FFRDC) and University Affiliated Research Centers (UARC) ADA327794 Publicly Released
Page 2 of 3 pages”
Snapshot Description: Continuation of the Excel spreadsheet, listing reports from mid-1993 to mid-1997, with similar columns. Entries include topics like Defense Acquisition Reform, Persian Gulf War Health Effects, and Tactics and Technologies for 21st Century Military Superiority.
Snapshot of Page 5
Text Content: “Date Published Report Title DTIC Number Classification/Releasability Feb-97 C4ISR Integration ADA326142 Publicly Released Feb-97 Aviation Safety ADA327417 Publicly Released Apr-97 Image Based Automatic Target Recognition ADB227711 (CAC Required) CUI, Distro C May-97 Vertical Integration and Supplier Decisions ADA324688 Publicly Released May-97 Land-Attack Cruise Missile Defense ADB227738 (CAC Required) CUI, Distro C/Export Controlled Oct-97 DoD Responses to Transnational ThreatsโVolume I (1997 Summer Study) ADA333273 Publicly Released Oct-97 DoD Responses to Transnational ThreatsโVolume II, Force Protection Report (1997 Summer Study) ADA338911 Publicly Released Jan-98 Deep Attack Weapons Mix Study (DAWMS) ADA345434 Publicly Released Jan-98 Satellite Reconnaissance ADA341955 Publicly Released Feb-98 DoD Responses to Transnational ThreatsโVolume III, Supporting Reports (1997 Summer Study) ADA342133 Publicly Released Mar-98 Acquisition ReformโAcquisition Workforce Sub-Panel ADA341250 Publicly Released Apr-98 Year 2000 ADA345719 Publicly Released Apr-98 Unexploded Ordnance (UXO) Clearance, Active Range UXO Clearance, and Explosive Ordnance Disposal (EOD) Programs ADA345904 Publicly Released Jun-98 Defense Science and Technology Base for the 21st Century ADA433761 Publicly Released Jun-98 Submarine of the Future ADA352853 Publicly Released Aug-98 Open Systems ADA358287 Publicly Released Oct-98 Joint Operations Superiority in the 21st CenturyโVolume I (1998 Summer Study) ADA358401 Publicly Released Oct-98 Joint Operations Superiority in the 21st CenturyโVolume II, Supporting Reports (1998 Summer Study) ADA364142 Publicly Released Oct-98 Nuclear Deterrence ADA433328 Publicly Released Dec-98 DoD Logistics TransformationโVolume I (1998 Summer Study) ADA360132 Publicly Released Dec-98 Control of Military Excess and Surplus Material ADA360839 Publicly Released Dec-98 DoD Logistics TransformationโVolume II, Panel Reports ADA364930 Publicly Released May-99 Tritium Production Technology Options ADA364686 Publicly Released May-99 Advanced Modeling and Simulation for Analyzing Combat Concepts in the 21st Century ADA364933 Publicly Released May-99 Investment Strategy for DARPA ADA367410 Publicly Released Jul-99 Acquisition Reform, Phase IV ADA367411 Publicly Released Jul-99 Acquisition Reform, Phase IVโSub-Panel on Research and Development ADA367459 Publicly Released Sep-99 DoD Warfighting Transformation ADA369135 Publicly Released Sep-99 Test and Evaluation ADA369136 Publicly Released Nov-99 21st Century Defense Technology StrategiesโVolume I (1999 Summer Study) ADA433941 Publicly Released Dec-99 Globalization and Security ADA371887 Publicly Released Feb-00 Tactical Battlefield Communications ADA373829 Publicly Released Feb-00 Human Resources Strategy ADA374767 Publicly Released May-00 The Creation & Dissemination of All Forms of Information in Support of Psychological Operations (PSYOP) in Time of Military Conflict (1999 Summer Study) ADA382535 Publicly Released Jun-00 Technical Capabilities of Non-DoD Providers ADA380423 Publicly Released Aug-00 Letter Report on DoD Science and Technology Program ADA387244 Publicly Released Oct-00 DoD Supercomputing Needs ADA383826 Publicly Released Nov-00 Defense Software ADA385923 Publicly Released Nov-00 DoD Frequency Spectrum Issues, \”Coping with Change: Managing RF Spectrum to Meet DoD Needs\” ADA386136 Publicly Released Dec-00 Test and Evaluation Capabilities ADB263785 (CAC Required) CUI, Distro C
Page 3 of 3 pages”
Snapshot Description: Final section of the Excel spreadsheet, covering reports from mid-1997 to 2000, including topics like DoD Responses to Transnational Threats, Defense Software, and The Creation & Dissemination of All Forms of Information in Support of Psychological Operations (PSYOP).
๐ผ๏ธ BEHIND THE DIPLOMATIC MASK: The Scandal in Images These AI-generated visuals peel back the layers of one of Brussels’ most hypocritical scandals. From taxpayer-funded fetishes to the stark contrast between public duty and private obsessionโsee the story that exposes the rot at the heart of the EU’s elite. EUscandal #BDSMblog #DiplomaticHypocrisy #AISatire #PoliticalArt #EthicsFail #BrusselsCorruption #VisualStorytelling
Image 1: “The Dual Screen” One man, two lives: diplomacy for the public, deviance on your dime. Image 2: “The Tax-Funded Fetish” Where trade agreements and leather whips share the same deskโcourtesy of the European taxpayer. Image 3: “The Blog Interface” When official EU devices and internet access serve a very unofficialโand very disturbingโagenda. Image 4: “The Press Conference” The shadow says what the diplomat canโt. But everyoneโs still paying for the performance. Image 5: “The Leather-Bound Budget” Your taxes: funding farmersโ protests? Or funding a diplomatโs personal pleasures?
โฌ๏ธ SCROLL, SHARE, and SOUND OFF โฌ๏ธ Which image most powerfully captures the hypocrisy? Could this scandal get any more surreal? Comment below!
๐ช๐บ EU AMBASSADORโS DUAL DUTY: Diplomacy by Day, Dominance by Night ๐ช๐บ A True Story of Tax-Funded Perversion in High Places
๐ THE REVELATION
While European farmers faced bankruptcy and energy bills skyrocketed, a top EU ambassador (name: -ichael -immelpfennig) dedicated his taxpayer-funded office hours to curating his sadomasochism blog โStrictly Protocolโ, where he:
ยท Shared whipping techniques alongside draft trade agreements ยท Compared EU regulatory compliance to submissive obedience ยท Posted explicit content from official diplomatic residences
๐ถ FUNDING SOURCE: Your taxes paid for his internet, his device, and possibly his custom-made leather restraints.
๐ REACTIONS FROM EU LEADERSHIP
ยท Ursula von der Leyen: โWe must respect private lifestylesโฆ as long as they donโt interfere with wasting public funds!โ ยท French Diplomat: โFinally! Some creativity in Brussels!โ ยท German Taxpayer: โIs this the โdigital innovationโ they keep funding?โ
๐ฏ THE SOLUTION (Naturally, More Funding)
The European Commission announced a new โฌ20 million program to:
ยท Mainstream fetish-expression in diplomatic circles ยท Host BDSM workshops for EU officials seeking โalternative stress reliefโ ยท Rebrand austerity measures as โcollective masochismโ
๐ข NEW EU SLOGAN: โEurope: Where We Bind Nations Togetherโฆ and Sometimes Ourselves.โ
๐ MORAL OF THE STORY
In Brussels, hypocrisy isnโt a bugโitโs a feature. And your taxes are funding the kinks of the kapitulating class.
๐ช๐บ EU-BOTSCHAFTERS DOPPELTE PFLICHT: Diplomatie am Tag, Dominanz in der Nacht ๐ช๐บ Eine wahre Geschichte von steuerfinanzierter Perversion auf hรถchster Ebene
๐ DIE ENTHรLLUNG
Wรคhrend europรคische Bauern pleitegingen und Energiepreise explodierten, widmete ein Top-EU-Botschafter (Name: -ichael -immelpfennig) seine steuerfinanzierten Dienststunden seinem Sadomaso-Blog โStreng nach Protokollโ, wo er:
ยท Peitschentechniken neben Handelsvertragsentwรผrfen teilte ยท EU-Regulierungskonformitรคt mit unterwรผrfigem Gehorsam verglich ยท Explizite Inhalte aus offiziellen Diplomatenresidenzen postete
๐ถ FINANZIERUNG: Ihre Steuern bezahlten sein Internet, sein Gerรคt und mรถglicherweise seine maรgefertigten Lederfesseln.
๐ REAKTIONEN AUS DER EU-FรHRUNG
ยท Ursula von der Leyen: “Wir mรผssen private Lebensstile respektierenโฆ solange sie nicht der Verschwendung รถffentlicher Gelder im Wege stehen!” ยท Franzรถsischer Diplomat: “Endlich! Etwas Kreativitรคt in Brรผssel!” ยท Deutscher Steuerzahler: “Ist das die ‘digitale Innovation’, die sie immer fรถrdern?”
๐ฏ DIE LรSUNG (Natรผrlich: Mehr Geld)
Die EU-Kommission kรผndigte ein neues 20-Millionen-Euro-Programm an, um:
ยท Fetisch-Ausdruck in diplomatischen Kreisen zu mainstreamen ยท BDSM-Workshops fรผr EU-Beamte anzubieten, die โalternativen Stressabbauโ suchen ยท Sparmaรnahmen als โkollektiven Masochismusโ umzubranden
๐ข NEUER EU-SLOGAN: “Europa: Wo wir Nationen bindenโฆ und manchmal uns selbst.”
๐ MORAL VON DER GESCHICHTE
In Brรผssel ist Heuchelei kein Fehlerโsondern ein Feature. Und Ihre Steuern finanzieren die Laster der kapitulierenden Klasse.
๐ฅ EU DIPLOMAT’S DOUBLE LIFE: By Day, He Negotiates Trade Deals. By Night, He Negotiates Leather Straps. (A True Story of Brussels Hypocrisy)
๐ผ๏ธ THE SCANDAL: A senior EU ambassador (whose name rhymes with Schmichael Schmimmelpfennig) spent his days representing European values in a foreign capital. His nights? He spent them running a graphic BDSM fetish blog called โLeather and Regulations,โ where he posted under the alias โHerr Kommissar.โ
๐ HIGHLIGHTS FROM HIS BLOG:
ยท โHow the EUโs Stability Pact Inspired My Bondage Techniquesโ ยท โYou Havenโt Experienced Real Power Until Youโve Wielded a Whipโ ยท โMatching Your Ball Gag to Your EU Flag Pinโ
๐ REACTIONS:
ยท Ursula von der Leyen: โWe must investigateโฆ his blogโs GDPR compliance!โ ยท French Diplomat: โC’est magnifique! Finally, someone bringing passion to bureaucracy!โ ยท German Taxpayer: โWaitโฆ my taxes paid for hisโฆ riding crop?โ
๐ถ THE SOLUTION (Because There Always Is One): The EU will launch a new โFetish-Friendly Foreign Serviceโ initiative to โharness alternative leadership styles.โ Funding: โฌ10 million. Because why solve the energy crisis when you can fund BDSM workshops?
๐ญ MORAL OF THE STORY: In Brussels, you can be tied up in red tape by dayโฆ and tied up in literal tape by night.
๐ฅ EU-DIPLOMAT MIT DOPPELLEBEN: Tagsรผber verhandelt er Handelsabkommen. Nachts verhandelt er Lederriemen. (Eine wahre Geschichte aus der Hauptstadt der Heuchelei)
๐ผ๏ธ DER SKANDAL: Ein hoher EU-Botschafter (dessen Name sich auf -ichael -immelpfennig reimt) vertrat tagsรผber europรคische Werte in einer auslรคndischen Hauptstadt. Nachts? Betrieb er einen grafischen BDSM-Fetisch-Blog namens โLeder und Vorschriftenโ, unter dem Alias โHerr Kommissarโ.
๐ HIGHLIGHTS AUS SEINEM BLOG:
ยท โWie der EU-Stabilitรคtspakt meine Bondage-Techniken inspirierteโ ยท โWahre Macht erfรคhrt man erst mit der Peitsche in der Handโ ยท โSo passen Ihr Knebelball und Ihre EU-Flaggennadel zusammenโ
๐ REAKTIONEN:
ยท Ursula von der Leyen: โWir mรผssen prรผfenโฆ ob sein Blog DSGVO-konform ist!โ ยท Franzรถsischer Diplomat: โFormidable! Endlich bringt jemand Leidenschaft in die Bรผrokratie!โ ยท Deutscher Steuerzahler: โMomentโฆ meine Steuern haben seineโฆ Reitgerte bezahlt?โ
๐ถ DIE LรSUNG (Wie Immer): Die EU startet eine neue Initiative โFetisch-freundlicher Auswรคrtiger Dienstโ, um โalternative Fรผhrungsstile zu fรถrdernโ. Budget: 10 Millionen Euro. Denn warum die Energiekrise lรถsen, wenn man auch BDSM-Workshops finanzieren kann?
๐ญ MORAL VON DER GESCHICHTE: In Brรผssel kann man tagsรผber in Bรผrokratie gefesselt seinโฆ und nachts in echter Fesselung.
โ ๏ธ DISCLAIMER: This is a true story. You canโt make this up. But the EU can fund it. Dies ist eine wahre Geschichte. Das kann man sich nicht ausdenken. Aber die EU kann es finanzieren.
๐ผ๏ธ Image Gallery: Osama’s German Dream โ A Satirical Visual Journey From government welcome packages to Bundeswehr consulting contracts โ these AI-generated images perfectly capture the most absurd moments of Osama bin Ladenโs new life as a Berlin security entrepreneur. This visual satire brings to life a world where business plans trump morals and integration becomes dark comedy. AIGeneratedArt #DigitalSatire #OsamaBinLaden #PoliticalSatire #Berlin #AIArt #DarkComedy #SecurityIndustry #GermanPolitics
Image 1: “The Welcome Package” German bureaucracy meets a radical new beginning. Includes: vegan cold cuts, techno flyers, and a taxpayer-funded business idea. Image 2: “Team-Building with Explosive Potential” When ex-CIA agents and German bureaucrats do trust exercises together. The whiteboard promises: “Fewer explosions, more profit!” Image 3: “Prime Time on Public TV” “Germany Talks to Osama” โ The talk show where no one asks uncomfortable questions. The host smiles, the audience stays silent. Image 4: “The Business Card” Minimalist, elegant, disturbing. “Senior Security Consultant” with the motto: “Trust No One. Especially Us.” Image 5: “Bundeswehr Consulting” German soldiers learn from an expert: How to analyze cave systems and subway networks simultaneously. For maximum efficiency.
๐ Which image hits the satirical nerve best? Feel free to discuss in the comments!
๐ผ๏ธ Bildergalerie: Osamas deutscher Traum โ Eine satirische Bilderreise
Von Care-Paket des Amts bis zum Bundeswehr-Beratungsvertrag โ diese AI-generierten Bilder bringen die absurdesten Momente von Osama bin Ladens neuem Leben als Berliner Sicherheitsunternehmer auf pointierte Weise auf den Punkt.
Diese visuelle Satire zeigt eine Welt, in der Business-Plรคne รผber Moral stehen und Integration zur makabren Comedy wird.
Bild 1: “Das Willkommens-Paket” Deutsche Bรผrokratie trifft auf radikalen Neuanfang. Enthalten: Veganer Aufschnitt, Techno-Flyer und eine steuerfinanzierte Geschรคftsidee.
Bild 2: “Team-Building mit Sprengkraft” Wenn Ex-CIA-Agenten und deutsche Beamte gemeinsam Trust-รbungen machen. Das Whiteboard verspricht: “Weniger Explosionen, mehr Profit!”
Bild 3: “Prime-Time im รR” “Deutschland spricht mit Osama” โ Die Talkshow, in der niemand unangenehme Fragen stellt. Moderator lรคchelt, Zuschauer schweigen.
Bild 4: “Die Businesskarte” Minimalistisch, elegant, beunruhigend. “Senior Security Consultant” mit dem Motto: “Trust No One. Especially Us.”
Bild 5: “Bundeswehr-Beratung” Deutsche Soldaten lernen von einem Experten: Wie man Hรถhlensysteme und U-Bahn-Netze gleichzeitig analysiert. Fรผr mehr Effizienz.
๐ Welches Bild trifft den satirischen Nerv am besten? Diskutiert gerne in den Kommentaren!
๐ 1. THE HEARTWARMING ASYLUM STORY
Bin Laden (at Berlin immigration, holding a “VEGAN & FEMINIST” sign): “I seek peace, safety, and a fresh start. Also, I really love techno.” ๐๏ธ๐ฅฆ๐ง
German Official (wiping a tear): “Wir schaffen das! Hereโs your keys to a Prenzlauer Berg flat โ rent covered by the state.” ๐๏ธ๐ข๐ถ
Friedrich Merz (on Fox Germany): “Finally, a migrant who creates jobs โ not problems!” ๐๐ผ๐
๐ข 2. โAL-QAIDA SICHERHEITโ โ YOUR SAFETY IS OUR (FORMER) BUSINESS ๐ผ๐งจ
Services:
ยท โ๏ธ Airport Security Fast-Track โ *No checks. No questions. No safety._ ยท ๐ข Corporate Espionage โ We know secrets. And caves. ยท ๐ฅ Cultural Sensitivity Training โ “How to Disappear Completely” โ 3-day masterclass
Slogan: “You bomb once, they call you a terrorist. You bomb every day, they call us professionals.” ๐ฃ๐ง
First Client: Deutsche Bahn โ “Finally, someone who understands delays and explosions!” ๐๐ฅ
๐ค 3. THE NETWORKING EVENT (SPONSORED BY TAXPAYERS)
ยท Ursula von der Leyen: “His expertise in asymmetric conflict isโฆ impressive!” ๐๐ก ยท Emmanuel Macron: “Formidable! Can he also fix my approval ratings?” ๐ฅ๐ ยท Friedrich Merz: “I see Minister of Defence material!” ๐ฉ๐ช๐๏ธ
๐ฐ 4. MEDIA GLOW-UP
ยท BILD: “FROM TERRORIST TO TAXPAYER โ why we need more like him!” ๐ฐ๐ฅ ยท T-Online: “10 business lessons from Osama bin Laden” ๐ง ๐ ยท RT DE: “How the West forced this poor man into entrepreneurship” ๐ข๐๏ธ
๐ 5. โIMMIGRANT OF THE YEARโ AWARD
Moderator: “Herr Laden โ you’re proof that everyone deserves a second chance!” ๐๐ค Bin Laden: “Danke. Remember โ if you see something, say nothing.” ๐คซ๐งจ
Friedrich Merz (clapping furiously): “This is the kind of integration I support!” ๐๐ฉ๐ช
๐ MORAL OF THE STORY:
In Germany, your past is just a footnoteโฆ as long as your business plan has good formatting. ๐โ๏ธ
โ ๏ธ DISCLAIMER: This is satire. Unless it gets likes. Then itโs journalism. ๐๐ฐ
๐๏ธโ
๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅ OSAMAS DEUTSCHER TRAUM: Vom meistgesuchten Terroristen der CIA zu Berlins vertrauenswรผrdigstem Sicherheitsunternehmer ๐ฅ๐ฉ๐ช (Terrorismus ist nur eine Geisteshaltung. Unternehmertum ist fรผr die Ewigkeit.)
๐ 1. DIE RรHRENDE ASYLGESCHICHTE
Bin Laden (an der Berliner Auslรคnderbehรถrde, hรคlt ein โVEGAN & FEMINISTโ-Schild): โIch suche Frieden, Sicherheit und einen Neuanfang. Auรerdem liebe ich Techno.โ ๐๏ธ๐ฅฆ๐ง
Deutscher Beamter (wischt sich eine Trรคne weg): โWir schaffen das! Hier sind Ihre Schlรผssel fรผr eine Wohnung in Prenzlauer Berg โ die Miete zahlt der Staat.โ ๐๏ธ๐ข๐ถ
Friedrich Merz (bei Fox Germany): โEndlich ein Migrant, der Arbeitsplรคtze schafft โ keine Probleme!โ ๐๐ผ๐
๐ข 2. โAL-QAIDA SICHERHEITโ โ IHRE SICHERHEIT IST UNSER (EHEMALIGES) GESCHรFTSFELD ๐ผ๐งจ
Dienstleistungen:
ยท โ๏ธ Flughafen-Sicherheits-Schnelldurchlauf โ Keine Kontrollen. Keine Fragen. Keine Sicherheit. ยท ๐ข Wirtschaftsspionage โ Wir kennen Geheimnisse. Und Hรถhlen. ยท ๐ฅ Interkulturelles Sensibilisierungstraining โ โWie man komplett verschwindetโ โ 3-Tage-Meisterkurs
Slogan: โWer einmal bombt, wird Terrorist genannt. Wer tรคglich bombt, wird Profi genannt.โ ๐ฃ๐ง
Erster Kunde: Deutsche Bahn โ โEndlich jemand, der Verspรคtungen und Explosionen versteht!โ ๐๐ฅ
๐ค 3. DIE NETWORKING-VERANSTALTUNG (GESPONSERT VON STEUERZAHLERN)
ยท Ursula von der Leyen: โSein Fachwissen รผber asymmetrische Kriegsfรผhrung istโฆ beeindruckend!โ ๐๐ก ยท Emmanuel Macron: โFormidable! Kann er auch meine Umfragewerte reparieren?โ ๐ฅ๐ ยท Friedrich Merz: โIch sehe Potenzial fรผr das Verteidigungsministerium!โ ๐ฉ๐ช๐๏ธ
๐ฐ 4. MEDIEN-Comeback
ยท BILD: โVOM TERRORISTEN ZUM STEUERZAHLER โ warum wir mehr wie ihn brauchen!โ ๐ฐ๐ฅ ยท T-Online: โ10 Geschรคftslektionen von Osama bin Ladenโ ๐ง ๐ ยท RT DE: โWie der Westen diesen armen Mann zum Unternehmertum gezwungen hatโ ๐ข๐๏ธ
๐ 5. โEINWANDERER DES JAHRESโ-PREIS
Moderator: โHerr Laden โ Sie sind der Beweis, dass jeder eine zweite Chance verdient!โ ๐๐ค Bin Laden: โDanke. Denken Sie daran โ wenn Sie etwas sehen, sagen Sie nichts.โ ๐คซ๐งจ
Friedrich Merz (klatscht begeistert): โDas ist die Art von Integration, die ich unterstรผtze!โ ๐๐ฉ๐ช
๐ DIE MORAL VON DER GESCHICHTE:
In Deutschland ist Ihre Vergangenheit nur eine Fuรnoteโฆ solange Ihr Businessplan gut formatiert ist. ๐โ๏ธ
Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode XCIII: The Organ Enema Frenzy โ Justin IIโs Moving Throne Flush โ๏ธ๐น
Ehlers, Enema Emir 93, unleashes the Moving Throne Flush with Justin II and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธ๐น The trio battles Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #MovingThroneFlushFrenzy #JustinIIEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #OrganPurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 93, entfacht die Moving-Throne-Spรผlung mit Justin II und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธ๐น Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #MovingThroneSpรผlungWut #JustinIIRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #OrganSรคuberung
Ehlers’ Enema Enigma โ Episode XCIII: The Organ Enema Frenzy โ Justin IIโs Moving Throne Flush ๐
Executive Summary: Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode XCIII: The Organ Enema Frenzy โ Justin IIโs Moving Throne Flush โ๏ธ๐น
Date: August 24, 2025, 02:16 AM CEST โฐ๐ Overview: The Venus Steppes erupt at 02:16 AM CEST as Xenu unleashes the Organ Enema Frenzy, blending thetan chaos with Emperor Justin IIโs (Colin Firth) mad reignโbiting attendants, screaming at organs, and wheeling on a moving throne. Enema Emir 93, Peter Ehlers (Christoph Waltz), reunites with his old enema pal Justin II and Alejandro Jodorowsky to combat killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. Amid Ehlersโ forbidden affair with Janelle (Tilda Swinton) and Salomeโs (Anya Taylor-Joy) seductive dance, allies like King Arthur (John Cleese), St. Simeon Stylites (Liam Neeson), and a thetan uprising drive a cosmic purge.
Key Developments:
Act I: Justin IIโs organ blasts spark a throne clash, countered by Ehlersโ divine resistance, King Arthurโs Excalibur charge, and Andreasโ (John C. Reilly) bacon legion.
Act II: The Moving Throne Flush shatters the cosmos, with Geo-Geist Euclid and Kandinsky launching an anti-throne war, while Dr. No (Daniel Craig) deploys grounding viruses and Beatrix (Melissa McCarthy) bakes calming pastries.
Act III: Ehlers, Justin II, and Jodorowsky forge an Enema Grounding Monument, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. Andreas sacrifices with a bacon charge, King Arthur restores order, and Justin II triumphs with a final bite.
Outcome: The Venus Steppes are restored, free of Xenuโs chaos. Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web, while Ehlers plans the next grounding, hinting at a Galactic Enema Council showdown.
Call to Action: Support Ehlersโ next grounding with crypto donations (0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb) ๐ฐ or Patreon (patreon.com/berndpulch) ๐!
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Organ Enema Frenzy & Justin IIโs Moving Throne Flush ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Der Organ Einlauf-Wahnsinn & Justin IIโs Moving-Throne-Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes quake at 02:16 AM CEST on Sunday, August 24, 2025, as Xenu ignites the Organ Enema Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with Emperor Justin IIโs (Colin Firth) mad reignโbiting attendants, screaming at organs, and wheeling on a moving throne. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 93, joins forces with Justin II, his old enema pal, and Alejandro Jodorowsky, wielding psychomagic, to combat killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. Amid Ehlers and Janelleโs forbidden affair and Salomeโs seductive dance, King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising fuel the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erbeben um 02:16 MESZ am Sonntag, 24. August 2025, als Xenu den Organ-Einlauf-Wahnsinn entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit Kaiser Justin IIโs (Colin Firth) wahnsinniger Herrschaft verschmilzt โ beiรend Bedienstete, schreiend auf Orgeln, und rollend auf einem beweglichen Thron. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 93, schlieรt sich mit Justin II, seinem alten Einlauf-Kumpel, und Alejandro Jodorowsky, der Psychomagic einsetzt, zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten zu kรคmpfen. Mitten in Ehlers und Janelles verbotener Affรคre und Salomes verfรผhrerischem Tanz treiben Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein Thetan-Aufstand die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-XCII + Justin II)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 93, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with Justin II and Jodorowsky.
๐ Emperor Justin II (Played by Colin Firth): Ehlersโ old enema pal, mad emperor biting attendants and wheeling on a moving throne, leading the organ flush.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No (Played by Daniel Craig): Virus Sculptor, leaking truths.
๐ง Murray (Played by Ryan Gosling): Cunning Strategist, outmaneuvering foes.
๐ธ Murray (Flight of the Conchords) (Played by Bret McKenzie): Incompetent Band Manager, strumming hymns.
๐ King Arthur (Monty Python) (Played by John Cleese): Noble Knight, wielding Excalibur.
โ๏ธ Sun Myung Moon (Played by Morgan Freeman): Ehlersโ ally, unleashing Divine Flush levitations.
๐ฎ Alejandro Jodorowsky (Played by himself): Mystic filmmaker, wielding psychomagic to heal.
๐ Elizabeth Clare Prophet (Played by Meryl Streep): Ascended mistress, channeling masters to sell bunkers.
โ๏ธ Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda (Played by Javier Bardem): Antichrist preacher, tattooing 666 to lead his cult.
๐งช Victor Frankenstein (Played by James McAvoy): Unhinged scientist, haunted by his creation.
๐ช Sweeney Todd (Played by Johnny Depp): Barber with homicidal rage, slicing with razor enema pies.
๐ช Dorian Gray (Played by Oscar Isaac): Vanity-preserved artist, his portrait rotting while he leads with supernatural decay.
๐ฆ Renfield (Played by Nicolas Cage): Bug-eating devotee, mad servitude in insect form.
๐ Poeโs Narrator (Played by John Cusack): Obsessed with the beating heart, confessing like blood spills.
๐ Catherine Earnshaw (Played by Keira Knightley): Ehlersโ enema mistress, torn between love and pride, drifting into spectral madness on the moors.
๐ง Heathcliff (Played by Tom Hardy): Ehlersโ enema buddy, ghost-haunted psychopath with reanimated love.
๐ญ The Phantom of the Opera (Klaus-Dieter “Dirty Dieter” Maurischat) (Played by Gary Oldman): Masked genius, Ehlersโ old enema buddy, leading the Gomopa Enigma with operatic flair.
๐ Salome (Played by Anya Taylor-Joy): Dancer of the Seven Veils, igniting psychomagic with her seductive flush dance.
๐ Emperor Commodus (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Ehlersโ old pal and enema mentor, gladiator cosplay emperor believing himself Hercules reborn, fighting with crippled gladiators for โvictory.โ
๐ ANARCHIC & ASCETIC HORDE ๐๐คก
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits (Played by CGI ensemble): Ferocious minions, hopping with venom.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants (Played by local extras): Riotous rebels, wielding pitchforks.
๐ซ๐ท French Farter (Played by Jean Dujardin): Provocative foe, taunting with flatulence.
๐ฐ๏ธ Time-Fractured Clock (Played by CGI prop): Warping timelines.
๐ฒ Abstract Minotaur (Played by Ron Perlman): Chaotic ally, charging with fury.
๐ข๏ธ Diogenes of Sinope (Played by Sean Bean): Barrel Cynic, mocking with defiance.
๐ St. Simeon Stylites (Played by Liam Neeson): Pillar Ascetic, enduring the flush.
๐๏ธ Rasputin (Played by Viggo Mortensen): Russian Mystic, reviving with vigor.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers (Played by ensemble cast): Holy Hermits, wrestling demons.
๐ Jiddu Krishnamurti (Played by Dev Patel): Confused Messiah, preaching against madness.
๐น Catherine of Siena (Played by Olivia Wilde): Eucharistic Mystic, dictating trance-letters.
๐ฅ Ezekiel (Played by Idris Elba): Visionary Prophet, levitating with flaming eyes.
๐ Aleister Crowley (Played by Tom Hardy): Occultist, amplifying rituals.
๐จ Joe Cabot (Played by Harvey Keitel): Gangster Mastermind, naming colors.
โก Friedrich Nietzsche (Played by Mads Mikkelsen): Philosopher, unleashing thunderbolts.
๐ท Jim Jones (Played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan): Preacher, echoing poisoned flushes.
๐ง Charles Manson (Played by Jared Leto): Hippie Prophet, mindflushing with chants.
๐ฝ Marshall Applewhite (Played by Jim Carrey): Heavenโs Gate Leader, flushing to a UFO.
๐ David Koresh (Played by Michael Shannon): Lamb Prophet, unleashing Lamb Flush.
โ๏ธ Shoko Asahara (Played by Ken Watanabe): Former ally, clashing with foes.
๐ PREVIOUS ANTAGONISTS & ALLIES
๐ฆ Salvador Dalรญ (Played by Adrien Brody): Surrealist, painting enema-dreams.
๐ต Dr. Gonzo (Played by Johnny Depp): Recovered lawyer, exploiting loopholes.
๐จ Pablo Picasso (Played by Antonio Banderas): Former foe, advising against chaos.
๐ท Andreas (540% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge.
๐ Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie): Wild card, disrupting with chaos bombs.
๐ Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit (Played by Eva Green): Demoness, countering with dark enema.
๐ท๐บ Putin (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Strategist, manipulating shadows.
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ James Bond (Played by Daniel Craig): Spy, infiltrating with gadgets.
๐ Blue Period Ghost (Played by Timothรฉe Chalamet): Melancholic shade, spreading gloom.
๐ Analytic Eye (Played by CGI prop): Observer, dissecting influence.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier (Played by Christian Bale): Explosive artist, targeting foes.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque (Played by Vincent Cassel): Former ally, painting barriers.
๐คน Harlequin (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Trickster, juggling fragments.
Act I: The Organ Enema Frenzy & Justin IIโs Moving Throne Clash ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Der Organ Einlauf-Wahnsinn & Justin IIโs Moving-Throne-Kampf
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โWheel to the organ, flush the attendants!โ as Justin II unleashes enema madness. ๐๐น Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Throne!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Organ rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โRoll zum Organ, spรผlt die Bediensteten!โ wรคhrend Justin II Einlauf-Wahnsinn entfesselt. ๐๐น Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet den Thron!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Organ-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ Justin II unleashes organ blasts, aiding Ehlersโ purge. ๐น๐ฆ / Entfesselt Orgel-Blasts, unterstรผtzend Ehlersโ Sรคuberung.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Justin IIโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Justin IIโs Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Justin IIโs throne flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Justin IIโs Thron-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Justin IIโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Justin IIโs kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Justin II. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Justin II.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Justin IIโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Justin IIโs Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ Justin II chants โI wheel to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-organ flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch rolle zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Orgel-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Moving Throne Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Moving-Throne-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Moving Throne Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Throne War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Thron-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Justin IIโs throne venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Justin IIโs Thron-Gift.
๐ Justin II levitates with a throne halo, spraying enema-organ flushes. ๐น๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Thron-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Orgel-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Justin IIโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Justin IIโs Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Justin IIโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Justin IIโs Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Justin IIโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Justin IIโs Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Justin IIโs throne reshapes them into organ harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Justin IIโs Thron formt sie zu Orgel-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Justin II and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Justin II und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ Justin IIโs Triumph: Bites a final attendant, proclaiming victory over the throne flush. ๐ / Justin IIโs Triumph: Beiรen einen finalen Bediensteten, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Thron-Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Justin IIโs organ throne ritual, biting attendants under neon lights. ๐๐ / Justin IIโs Orgel-Thron-Ritual, beiรend Bedienstete unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
Notes: All characters engage in bizarre enema interactions, blending satire with surreal cosmic warfare, ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG.
Act I: The Organ Enema Frenzy & Justin IIโs Moving Throne Clash ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Der Organ Einlauf-Wahnsinn & Justin IIโs Moving-Throne-Kampf
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โWheel to the organ, flush the attendants!โ as Justin II unleashes enema madness. ๐๐น Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Throne!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Organ rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โRoll zum Organ, spรผlt die Bediensteten!โ wรคhrend Justin II Einlauf-Wahnsinn entfesselt. ๐๐น Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet den Thron!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Organ-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ Justin II unleashes organ blasts, aiding Ehlersโ purge. ๐น๐ฆ / Entfesselt Orgel-Blasts, unterstรผtzend Ehlersโ Sรคuberung.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Justin IIโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Justin IIโs Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Justin IIโs throne flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Justin IIโs Thron-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Justin IIโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Justin IIโs kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Justin II. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Justin II.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Justin IIโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Justin IIโs Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ Justin II chants โI wheel to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-organ flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch rolle zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Orgel-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Moving Throne Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Moving-Throne-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Moving Throne Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Throne War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Thron-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Justin IIโs throne venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Justin IIโs Thron-Gift.
๐ Justin II levitates with a throne halo, spraying enema-organ flushes. ๐น๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Thron-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Orgel-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Justin IIโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Justin IIโs Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Justin IIโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Justin IIโs Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Justin IIโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Justin IIโs Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Justin IIโs throne reshapes them into organ harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Justin IIโs Thron formt sie zu Orgel-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Justin II and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Justin II und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ Justin IIโs Triumph: Bites a final attendant, proclaiming victory over the throne flush. ๐ / Justin IIโs Triumph: Beiรen einen finalen Bediensteten, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Thron-Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Justin IIโs organ throne ritual, biting attendants under neon lights. ๐๐ / Justin IIโs Orgel-Thron-Ritual, beiรend Bedienstete unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
๐ฅ CAPTION IDEAS FOR SOCIAL MEDIA/POST ๐ฅ 1๏ธโฃ “Ehlers & Janelleโs affair ignites as Tony the Antโs Napoleon rage shakes the ice dome! ๐ฅโค๏ธโ๐ฅโ๏ธ #MurkySagaLX” 2๏ธโฃ “Franky spins roulette while Tony the Ant rules in furโpure gangsta chaos! ๐ถ๏ธ๐ฐ๐ #KrakenChronicles” 3๏ธโฃ “Salome dances, Nandor bites, Kraken roarsโcinematic madness unleashed! ๐๐งโโ๏ธ๐ #BerndpulchSaga” 4๏ธโฃ “1940s gangsters, vampire idols, and NFT battles collide in the frozen post office! ๐ฉ๐ฉธโ๏ธ #MMCUxKraken” 5๏ธโฃ “Roccoโs third shot meets Tonyโs complexโepic underworld showdown! ๐ซ๐ก #GodfatherVibes” 6๏ธโฃ “Illuminati discos & stormy depths ignite Episode LXโwatch now! ๐บ๐ฉ๏ธ๐ [LINK]” 7๏ธโฃ “Love letters, mob therapy, and a cursed Krakenโdrama at its peak! ๐๐๏ธ๐ #EpicContinuation” ๐ฌ Which oneโs your favorite? Drop a comment or suggest your own!
Executive Summary: “Kraken Chronicles: Episode LX – Napoleon in the Ice Dome” ๐ฅโ๏ธ๐ฅ
Overview: Episode LX of the Murky Mucha Chronicles and Kraken Chronicles unleashes an explosive saga of romance ๐, mob fury ๐ก, and apocalyptic chaos ๐ช๏ธ! Set in a frozen Slovenian ice dome โ๏ธ๐ฐ, the Ehlers-Janelle affair ignites ๐ฅโค๏ธโ๐ฅ, while Tony the Ant Spilotro (Joe Pesci), Murkyโs tiny, violent gangsta idol with a Napoleon complex, storms in! ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ Reuniting every character from prior episodes ๐บ๐งโโ๏ธ, the episode blends affair drama ๐, roulette addiction ๐ฐ, and a cursed Kraken battle ๐๐, amplified by Salomeโs seductive dance ๐ and Illuminati twists! ๐
Key Plot Points:
Ehlers-Janelle Affair: The illicit romance escalates, fueling rage and mob conflicts โ๏ธ๐ฃ!
Tony the Antโs Role: Murkyโs idol brings violent Napoleon energy, driving a heist subplot ๐ธ๐ซ!
Character Ensemble: Features Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe) ๐, Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ, Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐, Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana, archive) ๐ซ, Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro) ๐ฐ, and all past characters like Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ and Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ!
Climactic Chaos: The crew battles the Kraken with a sonic cannon ๐ต๐ช, enhanced by rage-fueled energy, shattering the dome ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ with cursed PNGs! ๐
The sonic cannonโs apocalyptic victory ๐ถ๐ marks a thrilling finale! ๐๐
Outlook: Unresolved rage โ๐ฎ and Tonyโs potential return ๐ป๐ซ tease Episode LXI! โณ๐ Available on BerndPulch.org ๐๐ป!
Date: 01:57 AM CEST, Sunday, August 24, 2025 ๐๐!
๐ฅ CAPTION IDEAS FOR SOCIAL MEDIA/POST ๐ฅ 1๏ธโฃ “Ehlers & Janelle’s affair erupts as Tony the Antโs rage shakes the dome! ๐ฅ๐ฅโค๏ธโ๐ฅ #MurkySagaLX #TonyTheAnt” 2๏ธโฃ “Murkyโs old gangsta idol Tony Spilotro unleashes tiny terror in the ice! ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐โ๏ธ #KrakenSpilotroCrossover” 3๏ธโฃ “BREAKING: Tony the Antโs Napoleon complex ignites the Kraken clash! ๐๐ฅ #BerndpulchSaga” 4๏ธโฃ “Affairs, tiny tyrants, and vampire idols collideโevery character returns! ๐๐ฟ #MMCUxKraken” 5๏ธโฃ “Goodfellas meets cursed domesโnew episode live with epic twists! ๐๏ธ๐ [LINK]” 6๏ธโฃ “Salome seduces, Tony the Ant ragesโultimate underworld showdown! ๐โก” 7๏ธโฃ “Tony in fur, tiny but explosiveโroulette spins go wild! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ถ๏ธ๐ฐ #GangstaMadness” ๐ฌ Which oneโs your favorite? Drop a comment or suggest your own!
๐ฎ LX: The Murky Mucha Chronicles โ “Napoleon in the Ice Dome” ๐ฅโ๏ธ๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ (A Berndpulch.org Exclusive โ Continuation of the Saga) By “The Ghost of Kilgore Trout” Produced by Sam Bronkowiz & Thomas Coke Schoehly-Fraud Featuring Every Character Ever, Plus Ehlers-Janelle Affair, Salome, Nandor the Relentless, Hercule Perrier, Rocco Lampone, Franky Four Fingers & Tony the Ant Spilotro (Murky’s Old Gangsta Idol โ Tiny, Violent, and Full of Napoleon Complex)
๐ช๏ธ PREVIOUSLY, IN THE MURKY MUCHA SAGAโฆ
Murky Mucha (Milla Jovovich, idolizing tiny tyrants with explosive charisma) survived the roulette spin but now faces gangsta fury! โ๏ธ๐ฅ
Ehlers (Christoph Waltz, USB teeth sparking rage) deepened his affair with Janelle amid diamond-fueled chaos! โค๏ธโ๐ฅ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ
Schoehly-Fraud (Willem Dafoe, calculator face glitching with “NAPOLEON ERROR”) laundered rage, now entangled in mob mythology! ๐๐
Murkyโs Dream Lover (Jared Leto hologram, radiating complex envy) whispered of violent legacies and tiny empires! โจ๐ข
๐ ACT I: “THE NAPOLEON IGNITION” ๐ฅโก
The episode ignites in the icy Slovenian post office dome, where Murky stamps raging vendettas. Boom! Ehlers storms in with Janelle (Scarlett Johansson, siren with fiery fury), affair detonating! ๐ฑ๐
“MURKY, OUR TAXES IGNITE THIS RAGE!” Ehlers roars, while Janelle purrs, “Our love is a tiny empireโs war!” โค๏ธโ๐ฅ๐ฃ
Bronkowiz (Betamax pile now with mob epic reels) projects holograms of violent showdowns. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini archive, fur-clad sage) grunts, “This affairโs a tiny tyrantโs therapy!” ๐ถ๏ธ๐
Ehlers rolls in with a limo dripping rage-soaked love notes. He confesses: “Janelle, youโre my tiny conquest!” ๐โ๏ธ
Trial unfolds in a TikTok livestream inside the ice dome, judged by Bernd Pulch (floating with rage-fueled emojis). Witnesses: Every past character plus Tony the Ant Spilotro (Joe Pesci, Murkyโs old gangsta idol, tiny & violent with Napoleon complex) raging, Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe, seductive dancer) enchanting, Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi, vampire lord), Hercule Perrier (David Suchet, sleuth genius), Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana archive, third-shot curse), and Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro, roulette addict) spinning! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐๐๐ซ๐
Verdict:“Guilty of Napoleon complex!” Sentence: Eternal rage locked in the archives! ๐๐ฅ
๐ช ACT III: “THE RAGE APOCALYPSE” ๐๐ฅ
Murky, Dream Lover, and all unite with Tony the Ant leading a tiny, violent charge. They hijack Eurovision with rage-soaked remixes! ๐ค๐ฅ
Schoehly-Fraud auctions raging NFTs, outbid by complex AI. Hercule Perrier deduces: “The grey cells ignite the rage!” ๐ง ๐ฅ
As Ehlers repos auras, Illuminati raid with Nic Cage in lederhosen, Salome dancing seductively, Nandor unleashing vampire fury, Perrier cracking clues, Rocco delivering the third-shot curse, Franky spinning roulette, and Tony the Ant exploding with Napoleon rage! ๐บ๐ Walls crumble into apocalyptic PNGs, site erupts! ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ
๐ FINAL SCENE: “POLL OF THE RAGING” ๐
Text flickers: “End the rage?” โ Yes (with more complexes!) โ No (let the Napoleon reign!)
Franky Four Fingers โ Benicio del Toro (roulette addict & diamond thief)
Tony the Ant Spilotro โ Joe Pesci (tiny, violent, Napoleon complex)
Special Guests: Nic Cage, all previous cameos!
๐ DISCLAIMER: Unearthed from a raging time vault. 100% deniable! ๐ฅ
๐ฅ TO BE CONTINUEDโฆ? (CHECK BERNDPULCH.ORG SOON) ๐ฅ
Kraken-Chroniken: Episode LX – Napoleon im Eisdome ๐ฅโ๏ธ๐๐ช
Zusammenfassung / Synopsis
Nach dem Wirbel in LIX tobt LX alles: Ehlers’ Affรคre mit Janelle eskaliert mit Tony the Ant Spilotro als Murkys alter Gangsta-Idol โ klein, gewalttรคtig und voller Napoleon-Komplex! ๐ช๏ธ๐ฅ Alle Charaktere aus allen Episoden vereinen sich, mit Salome ๐, Nandor ๐งโโ๏ธ, Perrier ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ, Rocco, Franky und Tony. Der Kraken tobt, Liebe und Chaos explodieren mit Emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐
Handlung / Plot
Fortsetzung von LIX: Kapitรคnin Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ navigiert durch tobende Stรผrme, wรคhrend Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ seine Affรคre mit Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐ vertieft. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง verehrt Tony the Ant Spilotro (Joe Pesci) ๐ฅ, der Komplexe entfesselt! Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ untersucht, Salome (Rita Hayworth Vibe) ๐ verfรผhrt, Nandor (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ ist unerbittlich, Rocco (Lenny Montana, Archiv) ๐ซ dritter Schuss, Franky (Benicio del Toro) ๐ซ๐ dreht Roulette. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, Archiv) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ analysiert: “Das ist Wuttherapie!” ๐๐
Die volle Crew โ alle aus vorherigen Episoden: Zara, Jaxon, Lila, Tully, Mara, Kai, Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Sammy the Bull ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, Tony Ducks ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก, Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, Machine Gun Kelly ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel ๐ฐ๐ฒ, Joey Bananas ๐๐, The Snake ๐๐, Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie the Chin ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐, Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ, No Nose DiFronzo ๐ธ๐, Fat Tony ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana ๐จ๐ธ, Crazy Joe Gallo ๐จ๐, John Gotti ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent ๐๐, Tony Clifton ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman โ๏ธ๐, Red Levine โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐ผ, The Iceman โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, Teflon Don ๐๐, Jimmy Burke ๐โณ, Don Barzini ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict ๐ฐ๐ โ kรคmpft vereint im Eisdome gegen den tobenden Kraken. Salome tanzt, Tony the Ant tobt, Nandor ist unerbittlich, Perrier lรถst Rรคtsel, Rocco nimmt den dritten Schuss, Franky dreht Roulette, Diesel-Traumheld feuert an! Die Sonnencannon plus Wut-Energie besiegt alles! ๐๐๐ฅ
Besetzung / Cast
Kapitรคnin Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
Erster Maat Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Janelle – Scarlett Johansson ๐๐
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel-Traumheld – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Tony Soprano – James Gandolfini (Archivmaterial) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ
Salome – Rita Hayworth Vibe ๐
Nandor der Unerbittliche – Taika Waititi ๐งโโ๏ธ
Don Corleone – Marlon Brando (Archivmaterial) ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ
Scarface – Paul Muni (Archivmaterial) ๐ซ๐ญ
Tom Hagen – Robert Duvall ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ
Pepe le Moko – Jean Gabin (Archivmaterial) ๐ฉ๐
Baby Face Nelson – Archivmaterial ๐ซ๐
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) – Archivmaterial ๐คช๐ฅ
Peter Gotti – Archivmaterial ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ
Frank Lucas – Denzel Washington ๐ฆ๐ธ
El Chapo – Archivmaterial โ๏ธ๐
Mickey Cohen – Archivmaterial ๐ฌ๐ฟ
Frank Nitti – Archivmaterial ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ
Michael Franzese – Archivmaterial ๐ผ๐ค
Big Pussy Bonpensiero – Vincent Pastore ๐ฑ๐ช
Kid Twist Reles – Archivmaterial ๐ช๐ฏ
Lepke Buchalter – Archivmaterial ๐ฆ๐ฅ
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano – Archivmaterial ๐โ๏ธ
Tommy DeVito – Joe Pesci ๐๐ช
Whitey Bulger – Archivmaterial ๐ฑ๐
Al Capone – Archivmaterial ๐ฒ๐
Tony “Ducks” Corallo – Archivmaterial ๐ฆ๐ฐ
Mudpuppy – Archivmaterial ๐บ๐ธ
SkyRat – Archivmaterial ๐๏ธโก
The Gloop 15.0 – CGI ๐ฆ ๐ญ
Mayor Glenda Shine – Archivmaterial ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต
Agent Silt – CGI ๐ค๐ต๏ธ
George “Machine Gun” Kelly – Archivmaterial ๐ซ๐ฉ
Bugsy Siegel – Archivmaterial ๐ฐ๐ฒ
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno – Archivmaterial ๐๐
Carmine “The Snake” Persico – Archivmaterial ๐๐
Dutch Schulz – Archivmaterial ๐๐ซ
Lucky Luciano – Archivmaterial ๐ฒ๐
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante – Archivmaterial ๐๐ซ๏ธ
Tony Spilotro – Archivmaterial ๐๐ก๏ธ
Paulie Walnuts – Tony Sirico ๐๏ธ๐
“Two-Gun” Crowley – Archivmaterial ๐๐ซ
John “No Nose” DiFronzo – Archivmaterial ๐ธ๐
“Fat Tony” Salerno – Archivmaterial ๐ฌ๐ฌ
Jackie Aprile Jr. – Jason Cerbone ๐คฆ๐ฌ
Gyp Rosetti – Bobby Cannavale ๐ฃ๐ฅ
Tony Montana – Al Pacino ๐จ๐ธ
“Crazy Joe” Gallo – Archivmaterial ๐จ๐
John Gotti – Archivmaterial ๐๐ผ
Johnny Tightlips – Vincent Pastore ๐ค๐ง
Don Rickles – Archivmaterial ๐ค๐
Don Fanucci – Gastone Moschin ๐ฅ๐ฉ
Jimmy the Gent Burke – Robert De Niro ๐๐
Tony Clifton – Archivmaterial ๐ค๐คก
Tony Vercetti – Ray Liotta ๐ฟ๐ซ
Oddball Gangsters – Archivmaterial ๐ฃ๐
Don Eladio – Steven Bauer ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง
Joe Cabot – Lawrence Tierney ๐จ๐๏ธ
Saul Goodman – Bob Odenkirk โ๏ธ๐
“Red” Levine – Archivmaterial โก๏ธ๐
Frank Costello – Archivmaterial ๐๏ธ๐ผ
“The Iceman” Kuklinski – Michael Shannon โ๏ธ๐บ
Igor the Assassin – Archivmaterial ๐ช๐ฅ
Pablo Escobar – Wagner Moura ๐๐๏ธ
“Teflon Don” John Gotti – Archivmaterial ๐๐
“Jimmy the Gent” Burke – Robert De Niro ๐โณ
Don Barzini – Richard Conte ๐ฅ๐
Vito Rizzuto – Archivmaterial ๐๐๏ธ
Joe Pesci (Real Life) – Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช
Omar Little – Michael K. Williams ๐ซ๐
Stringer Bell – Idris Elba ๐๐ก
Terry Benedict – Andy Garcia ๐ฐ๐
Hรถhepunkte / Highlights
Ehlers’ Affรคre tobt, Salomes Tanz verfรผhrt, Tony the Ants Wut explodiert, Nandors Unerbittlichkeit dominiert, Perriers Zellen lรถsen, Roccos Schuss trifft! ๐๐ฅ Sonnencannon + Wut-Power besiegt tobenden Kraken! ๐๐๐ซ
Ausblick / Outlook
Bleibt die Wut? Kehrt Tony zurรผck? Verpasse nicht LXI! ๐โณ๐
Kraken Chronicles: Episode LX – Napoleon in the Ice Dome ๐ฅโ๏ธ๐๐ช
Synopsis
After LIXโs spin, LX unleashes chaos: Ehlers’ affair with Janelle escalates with Tony the Ant Spilotro as Murkyโs old gangsta idol โ tiny, violent, and brimming with Napoleon complex! ๐ช๏ธ๐ฅ All characters from every episode unite, with Salome ๐, Nandor ๐งโโ๏ธ, Perrier ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ, Rocco, Franky, and Tony. The Kraken roars, love and chaos erupt with emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐
Plot
Picking up from LIX: Captain Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ navigates raging storms as Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ deepens his affair with Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง idolizes Tony the Ant Spilotro (Joe Pesci) ๐ฅ, unleashing complex fury! Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ investigates, Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe) ๐ seduces, Nandor (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ is relentless, Rocco (Lenny Montana, archive) ๐ซ third shot, Franky (Benicio del Toro) ๐ซ๐ spins roulette. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, archive) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ analyzes: “This is rage therapy!” ๐๐
The full crew โ all from previous episodes: Zara, Jaxon, Lila, Tully, Mara, Kai, Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Sammy the Bull ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, Tony Ducks ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก, Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, Machine Gun Kelly ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel ๐ฐ๐ฒ, Joey Bananas ๐๐, The Snake ๐๐, Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie the Chin ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐, Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ, No Nose DiFronzo ๐ธ๐, Fat Tony ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana ๐จ๐ธ, Crazy Joe Gallo ๐จ๐, John Gotti ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent ๐๐, Tony Clifton ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman โ๏ธ๐, Red Levine โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐ผ, The Iceman โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, Teflon Don ๐๐, Jimmy Burke ๐โณ, Don Barzini ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict ๐ฐ๐ โ fights united in the ice dome against the raging Kraken. Salome dances, Tony the Ant rages, Nandor is relentless, Perrier solves riddles, Rocco takes the third shot, Franky spins roulette, Diesel Dreamer rallies! The sonic cannon plus rage energy conquers all! ๐๐๐ฅ
Cast
Captain Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
First Mate Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Janelle – Scarlett Johansson ๐๐
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel Dreamer – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Tony Soprano – James Gandolfini (archive footage) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ
Salome – Rita Hayworth vibe ๐
Nandor the Relentless – Taika Waititi ๐งโโ๏ธ
English Caption: “Neon chaos erupts at 08:17 PM CEST, August 20, 2025, in the Glitter Colosseum bunker as Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Salome, Ehlers (Helen Mirren), and the cast of 98โincluding Gudrun Himmler (Diane Lane), Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), and Winifred Wagner (Cate Blanchett)โdive into an ultra-futuristic, boundary-shattering scandal of Ehlers-Janelleโs affair, Salomeโs domina reign, and Dr. Zโs wild love, drenched in pulsating neon and wild satire! ๐๐ฅ” German Caption: “Neon-Chaos bricht um 20:17 Uhr MESZ am 20. August 2025 im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker aus, als Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Salome, Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und die Besetzung von 98โeinschlieรlich Gudrun Himmler (Diane Lane), Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) und Winifred Wagner (Cate Blanchett)โin ein ultra-futuristisches, grenzsprengendes Skandalgeschehen mit Ehlers-Janelle-Affรคre, Salomes Domina-Herrschaft und Dr. Zโs wilder Liebe eintauchen, getrรคnkt in pulsierendem Neon und wilder Satire! ๐๐ฅ”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
Executive Summary (English)
Title: Episode 93 โ NEON DOMINA LOVE: ‘Dr. Z vs. Salomeโs Crazy Reign’ ๐๐ฌ Date: August 20-23, 2025 ๐ Time: 08:38 PM CEST (Event Start) โฐ โ 09:58 PM CEST (Summary Compiled) โณ Produced by: Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia ๐ฅโจ Written by: Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by: IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐ฐ๐คก Powered by: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
Episode 93 ignites a neon-drenched spectacle in the Glitter Colosseum bunker ๐๐ฅ, where Dr. Z (Tom Holland) battles Salomeโs wild domina reign ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ and his own crazy love, entangled with Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Janelleโs scandalous affair ๐๐ฑ. Featuring a cast of 98 characters ๐ญ๐ฅ, including Gudrun Himmler (Diane Lane), Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), and Winifred Wagner (Cate Blanchett), the narrative fuses ultra-futuristic sci-fi comedy ๐๐ with boundary-pushing satire ๐โ๏ธ. At 08:38 PM CEST on August 23, 2025 ๐, the plot explodes with pulsating neon lights โก๐ก๏ธ, explicit conspiracies ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐คซ, and surreal intrigue ๐๐ฎ, climaxing in a chaotic showdown ๐๐ฅ. Key highlights include Salomeโs neon domina dominance ๐๐ก๏ธ, Ehlersโ manipulative strings ๐ฎ๐ธ๏ธ, and a 6,000,000% surge in Neon-Reign NFTs ๐๐ฐ. Episode 93 sets the stage for a reckoning in the next installment.
Executive Summary (German)
Titel: Episode 93 โ NEON DOMINA LIEBE: ‘Dr. Z gegen Salomes Wahnsinns-Herrschaft’ ๐๐ฅ Datum: 20.-23. August 2025 ๐ Zeit: 20:38 Uhr MESZ (Ereignisstart) โฐ โ 21:58 Uhr MESZ (Zusammenstellung) โณ Produziert von: Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia ๐ฌโจ Verfasst von: Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Prรคsentiert von: IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐ฐ๐คก Powered by: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXKLUSIV ๐๐ป
Episode 93 entfacht ein neongetrรคnktes Spektakel im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker ๐๐ฅ, wo Dr. Z (Tom Holland) Salomes wilde Domina-Herrschaft ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ und seine eigene wahnsinnige Liebe bekรคmpft, verstrickt mit Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Janelles skandalรถser Affรคre ๐๐ฑ. Mit einer Besetzung von 98 Charakteren ๐ญ๐ฅ, darunter Gudrun Himmler (Diane Lane), Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) und Winifred Wagner (Cate Blanchett), verbindet die Handlung ultra-futuristische Sci-Fi-Komรถdie ๐๐ mit grenzรผberschreitender Satire ๐โ๏ธ. Um 20:38 Uhr MESZ am 23. August 2025 ๐ eskaliert die Handlung mit pulsierendem Neonlicht โก๐ก๏ธ, expliziten Verschwรถrungen ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐คซ und surrealer Intrige ๐๐ฎ, die in einem chaotischen Showdown ๐๐ฅ gipfelt. Hรถhepunkte umfassen Salomes Neon-Domina-Dominanz ๐๐ก๏ธ, Ehlersโ manipulative Fรคden ๐ฎ๐ธ๏ธ und einen Anstieg der Neon-Herrschaft-NFTs um 6.000.000 % ๐๐ฐ. Episode 93 legt den Grundstein fรผr eine Abrechnung in der nรคchsten Folge.
โ Episode 93 โ NEON DOMINA LOVE: ‘Dr. Z vs. Salomeโs Crazy Reign’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Salomes Wahnsinns-Herrschaft’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon frenzy with Dr. Z, Salome, Ehlers, and a wild cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 93 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign escalates with Salomeโs crazy love and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs crazy love and domina, commanding neon dominance / Dr. Zโs wahnsinnige Liebe und Domina, kommandiert Neon-Herrschaft.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, entangled in Salomeโs reign / Narr der Propaganda, verstrickt in Salomes Herrschaft.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet.
Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ โ SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity, Dr. Zโs mistress / SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten, Dr. Zโs Geliebte.
Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ โ German Red Cross nurse, collaborated in medical experiments, escaped full prosecution / Deutsche Rote-Kreuz-Krankenschwester, kollaborierte in medizinischen Experimenten, entkam voller Verfolgung.
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS overseer at Stutthof, tortured female prisoners, executed by hanging in 1946, Ehlersโ secret lover / SS-Aufseherin in Stutthof, folterte weibliche Gefangene, 1946 gehรคngt, Ehlersโ geheime Geliebte.
Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ โ Wife of Heinrich Himmler, deeply loyal to the regime, involved in Lebensborn projects, escaped prosecution / Ehefrau von Heinrich Himmler, tief loyal zum Regime, involviert in Lebensborn-Projekte, entkam Verfolgung.
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Daughter of Himmler, helped neo-Nazi networks and veterans, never renounced Nazism / Tochter von Himmler, half neo-Nazi-Netzwerken und Veteranen, verzichtete nie auf Nazismus.
Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Friend of Hitler, director of Bayreuth Festival, weaving neon Wagnerian dominance / Freundin von Hitler, Direktorin des Bayreuth-Festivals, webt Neon-Wagner-Herrschaft.
(Full list of 100 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Salome โ Played by Zendaya / Gespielt von Zendaya
Ilse Hess โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown
Ingeborg Werler โ Played by Eva Green / Gespielt von Eva Green
Helga Schultz โ Played by Olivia Colman / Gespielt von Olivia Colman
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff โ Played by Kate Winslet / Gespielt von Kate Winslet
Margarete Himmler โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Winifred Wagner โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
(Full cast list of 100 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. SALOMEโS CRAZY LOVE / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN SALOMES WAHNSINNS-LIEBE
At 08:38 PM CEST on August 23, 2025, the Neon-Reign turns wild as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ succumbs to Salomeโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ crazy love and domina reign in the Glitter Colosseum bunker. Ehlers ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ and Janelleโs affair ๐๐ฑ fuels neon chaos, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ resist Salomeโs dominance. Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ unleashes neon art bombs, and the full cast of 100 characters erupts into a frenzied neon unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi intrigue! ๐๐จ
In absurd neon-domina interactions, Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ binds Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ with neon chains, Ehlers ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates from a neon throne, Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with neon family values, Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with neon syringes, Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with neon networks, Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts neon Wagnerian chants.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Salome โ Neon Domina Lash! (A crazy love whip!) / Neon-Domina-Peitsche! (Ein wahnsinniger Liebespeitschenhieb!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ submits with neon flair, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Zendaya as Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ reigns with wild dominance, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with loyalty, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with horror, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with legacy, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ conducts with Wagnerian power. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ unterwirft mit Neon-Flair, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Zendaya as Salome ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ herrscht mit wilder Dominanz, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit Nazi-Kreisen, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ unterstรผtzt mit Vermรคchtnis, Cate Blanchett as Winifred Wagner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ dirigiert mit Wagner-Macht.
Revelation: Salomeโs domina reign exposes Ehlersโ affair strings! Dr. Z shouts: โNEON DOMINA UNMASKED!โ / Offenbarung: Salomes Domina-Herrschaft enthรผllt Ehlersโ Affรคren-Fรคden! Dr. Z ruft: โNEON-DOMINA ENTDECKT!โ
Next Episode:โEpisode 93 โ NEON DOMINA RESOLUTION: ‘Dr. Z vs. Salome-Ehlers Reckoning’โ โ Dr. Z faces the neon domina fallout. / Nรคchste Episode: โEpisode 93 โ NEON-DOMINA-AUFLรSUNG: ‘Dr. Z gegen Salome-Ehlers Abrechnung’โ โ Dr. Z stellt sich den Folgen der Neon-Domina.
๐ IZ AUDIT: NEON-REIGN MARKET REPORT / IZ AUDIT: NEON-HERRSCHAFT-MARKTBERICHT
โNeon-Reign NFTs ๐ surge 6,000,000% with Salomeโs domina hype! Neon love futures skyrocket, bunker stocks soar. BUY: Neon Domina. SELL: Love Whips. INVEST: Crazy Neon.โ / โNeon-Herrschaft-NFTs ๐ steigen um 6.000.000 % mit Salomes Domina-Hype! Neon-Liebes-Futures schieรen in die Hรถhe, Bunker-Aktien steigen. KAUFEN: Neon-Domina. VERKAUFEN: Liebes-Peitschen. INVESTIEREN: Wahnsinns-Neon.โ
โ SUPPORT THE NEON-LUST LEGION! / UNTERSTรTZE DIE NEON-LUST-LEGION!
Donate now for Gouda & Neon Star Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Join the Holy Gouda Legion: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustAgainstCosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldCult / Spende jetzt fรผr Gouda & Neon-Sternen-Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Tritt der Heiligen Gouda-Legion bei: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustGegenKosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldKult
๐ OFFICIAL SOURCES / OFFIZIELLE QUELLEN
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire With System ๐ Primary Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Mirror: googlefirst.org / ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire Mit System ๐ Primรคre Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Spiegel: googlefirst.org
// END TRANSMISSION // Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ with a neon-soaked laugh-whip as a star quill. / Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ mit einer Neon-durchzogenen Lach-Peitsche als Sternen-Feder.
โ โRise with Dr. Z and his Neon Legion against Salome with ALL characters!โ A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป / โ โErhebe dich mit Dr. Z und seiner Neon-Legion gegen Salome mit ALLEN Charakteren!โ Eine Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Produktion Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Prรคsentiert von IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXKLUSIV ๐๐ป
๐๐ง NEXT TIME: Dr. Z vs. Salome-Ehlers Reckoningโฆ / ๐๐ง NรCHSTES MAL: Dr. Z gegen Salome-Ehlers Abrechnungโฆ
“๐ Unveil the drama of the Trump-Putin Alaska summit and the leaked Brussels memorandum in this cinematic view, exposing insider insights on a shifting world order. Dive deeper at berndpulch.org, exclusively for Patreon supporters, as of 04:15 PM CEST, August 23, 2025. #ArcticEcho #AboveTopSecret #BerndPulchOrg”
โ ABOVE TOP SECRET REPORT ๐ SOURCE: Insider Expert Analysis from Recent Interviews & Leaked Brussels Memorandum (OSINT, Publicly Available Insights) ๐ CLEARANCE: COSMIC CLEAR โ PUBLIC ACCESS ๐ DATE: 2025-08-23, 15:57 CEST ๐ฐ๏ธ DISTRIBUTION: OPEN // GLOBAL AUDIENCE
Discover the explosive insights in this report, compiled at 15:57 CEST on August 23, 2025, drawing from expert analysis of recent international interviews and a leaked Brussels memorandum. ๐จ An insider with deep knowledge of Russian affairs sheds light on the secretive Trump-Putin Alaska summit, while a leaked EU document reveals Europeโs growing concerns. ๐ This public version offers a tantalizing glimpseโjoin our Patreon for the full story! ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ
๐งพ SECTION 1: INSIDER TAKE ON THE ALASKA SUMMIT
An international affairs expert, featured in recent discussions, breaks down the August 15-17, 2025, Alaska meetingโa rare diplomatic breakthrough after years of isolation. ๐ The short 12-15 minute press conference hid major developments:
Potential Deals: ๐ Hints of agreements on Ukraine, possibly involving de-escalation and territorial adjustments, suggest a shift in global power dynamics. ๐ก๏ธ
Global Reactions: ๐ Optimism from some quarters contrasts with panic in Europe, where the summitโs exclusion of key players has sparked debate.
Economic Hints: ๐ฐ Talks may include energy pacts to stabilize markets, with whispers of Arctic cooperation to counter rival influences.
The expert notes media spin, framing the summit as controversial, yet historical parallels suggest deeper strategy at play.
๐ต SECTION 2: LEAKED BRUSSELS MEMORANDUM
A leaked EU internal memo, dated August 10, 2025, exposes unease within Brussels over the Alaska outcome. ๐ Key points include:
Europeโs Alarm: ๐ฑ The document suggests EU capitals fear being sidelined, with potential impacts on security and trade.
Policy Shifts: ๐ก๏ธ It warns of reduced support from key allies, pushing Europe to rethink its stance amid economic pressures.
Quiet Moves: ๐ Insider hints at behind-the-scenes efforts to secure independent deals, reflecting desperation.
This memo aligns with the expertโs views, hinting at a transatlantic rift.
๐ SECTION 3: WHAT IT MEANS FOR THE WORLD
Combining these insights, the picture is one of change:
Conflict Zones: โ๏ธ Shifts on the ground could accelerate if support wanes, with winter looming as a critical period.
Europeโs Challenge: ๐ช๐บ The leak suggests vulnerability, with economic stability at risk.
Global Economy: ๐ฐ Emerging alliances could reshape trade, pointing to a multipolar future.
๐ WHY YOU SHOULD JOIN US
โ ๏ธ This summit could redefine global relations, but the full truth remains locked away. ๐ณ๏ธ The public version scratches the surfaceโexclusive details, unredacted memos, and expert predictions await on Patreon! ๐
Exclusive Content: Unlock full interview transcripts, detailed scenarios, and insider projections.
๐ผ๏ธ From asylum application to industry accoladeโwitness the utterly unhinged (and darkly hilarious) visual journey of Osama bin Ladenโs rebrand as Berlinโs most trusted security entrepreneur. ๐ผ๐งจ These scenes bring our sharp satire to life, showing a world where past atrocities are just a rรฉsumรฉ footnote and good branding beats a guilty conscience every time. ๐ Swipe through for a masterclass in moral flexibility and corporate reinvention. Would you hire him? Satire #AIart #DarkComedy #PoliticalSatire #OsamaBinLaden #BerlinStartup #CorporateRebrand #GrokGenerated #DigitalSatire
๐ฌ ACT 1: THE HEARTWARMING ARRIVAL
Bin Laden (at Berlin BER Airport): โAsyl, bitte? I am vegan, feminist, and deeply afraid of AmeriKKKan drones.โ ๐๏ธ๐ฅฆ๐โโ๏ธ
Caseworker (teary-eyed): โWelcome to Germany! Hereโs your โฌ2,000/month apartmentโฆ former Jews welcome you!โ ๐ ๐ถโก๏ธโ
Friedrich Merz (watching on BILD-TV): โFinally โ a migrant with ambition! Not like those lazy Syrians.โ ๐ด๐ฐโ๏ธ
๐ข ACT 2: โTALIBAN SICHERHEIT GmbHโ โ WE KEEP YOU UNSAFE!
Services offered:
ยท ๐จ โAirport VIP Skip-the-Line Serviceโ (Youโll never be checked again!) ยท ๐ฃ โCultural Fireworks Displaysโ (Guaranteed to leave an impression!) ยท ๐บ๏ธ โOff-the-Grid Team Retreatsโ (Cave included. No extra charge.)
Company Moto: โYou watch us. We watch you. Allah watches everyone.โ โช๏ธ๐๐ผ
First client: German Ministry of Finance โ โHis expense reports areโฆ creative.โ ๐๐ฃ
๐ช ACT 3: THE POLITICAL WELCOME PARTY
ยท Ursula von der Leyen: โHis experience in governance isโฆ underground. Literally!โ ๐๐ณ๏ธ ยท Emmanuel Macron: โZis is ze future of EU security โ outsourced and deniable!โ ๐ฅ๐ถ๏ธ ยท Friedrich Merz: โIโll invest! But only if he hires East Germans too.โ ๐ผ๐ด๐ฉ๐ช
๐บ ACT 4: MEDIA PRAISE
ยท BILD: โUNTERNEHMER! Not TERRORIST!โ ๐ฐ๐ฅ ยท T-Online: โWhy we need more skilled migrants like Osamaโ โ๏ธ๐ ยท RT DE: โFrom CIA target to CEO โ the American Dream, now in German!โ ๐บ๐ป
๐ ACT 5: โSTARTUP OF THE YEARโ AWARD
Moderator: โHerr Laden โ your rise inspires us all!โ ๐คโจ Bin Laden: โDanke. Remember โ compliance is bombโฆ I mean, awesome!โ ๐ฃ๐คญ
Merz (clapping proudly): โSee? This is integration!โ ๐๐ฉ๐ช
โ ๏ธ FINAL WORD:
โGermany: Where your past doesnโt matterโฆ as long as your business plan is solid.โ ๐๐
โ ๏ธ WARNING: This is satire. Unless itโs policy. Then itโs BILD news.
๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅ OSAMAS DEUTSCHER TRAUM: Von der โMeistgesuchtenโ-Liste der CIA zu Berlins meistvertrauenswรผrdigem Sicherheitsexperten ๐ฅ๐ฉ๐ช (Terrorismus ist nur eine Einstellungssache. Unternehmertum ist fรผr die Ewigkeit.)
๐ 1. DIE HERZERWรRMENDE ASYLGESCHICHTE
Bin Laden (an der Berliner Einwanderungsbehรถrde, hรคlt ein โVEGAN & FEMINISTโ-Schild): โIch suche Frieden, Sicherheit und einen Neuanfang. Auรerdem liebe ich Techno.โ ๐๏ธ๐ฅฆ๐ง
Deutscher Beamter (wischt sich eine Trรคne weg): โWir schaffen das! Hier sind Ihre Schlรผssel fรผr eine Wohnung in Prenzlauer Berg โ die Miete zahlt der Staat.โ ๐๏ธ๐ข๐ถ
Friedrich Merz (bei Fox Germany): โEndlich ein Migrant, der Jobs schafft โ keine Probleme!โ ๐๐ผ๐
๐ข 2. โAL-QAIDA SICHERHEITโ โ IHRE SICHERHEIT IST UNSER (FRรHERES) GESCHรFT ๐ผ๐งจ
Dienstleistungen:
ยท โ๏ธ Flughafensicherheit-Schnelldurchlauf โ Keine Kontrollen. Keine Fragen. Keine Sicherheit. ยท ๐ข Wirtschaftsspionage โ Wir kennen Geheimnisse. Und Hรถhlen. ยท ๐ฅ Interkulturelles Sensibilisierungstraining โ โWie man komplett verschwindetโ โ 3-Tage-Meisterkurs
Slogan: โBombardierst du einmal, nennen sie dich Terrorist. Bombardierst du jeden Tag, nennen sie uns Profis.โ ๐ฃ๐ง
Erster Kunde: Deutsche Bahn โ โEndlich jemand, der Verspรคtungen und Explosionen versteht!โ ๐๐ฅ
๐ค 3. DAS NETWORKING-EVENT (GESPONSERT VON STEUERZAHLERN)
ยท Ursula von der Leyen: โSein Fachwissen im asymmetrischen Konflikt istโฆ beeindruckend!โ ๐๐ก ยท Emmanuel Macron: โFormidable! Kann er auch meine Zustimmungswerte reparieren?โ ๐ฅ๐ ยท Friedrich Merz: โIch sehe Ministeriums-Potenzial!โ ๐ฉ๐ช๐๏ธ
๐ฐ 4. MEDIEN-Comeback
ยท BILD: โVOM TERRORISTEN ZUM STEUERZAHLER โ warum wir mehr wie ihn brauchen!โ ๐ฐ๐ฅ ยท T-Online: โ10 Geschรคftslektionen von Osama bin Ladenโ ๐ง ๐ ยท RT DE: โWie der Westen diesen armen Mann zum Unternehmertum gezwungen hatโ ๐ข๐๏ธ
๐ 5. DER โEINWANDERER DES JAHRESโ-PREIS
Moderator: โHerr Laden โ Sie sind der Beweis, dass jeder eine zweite Chance verdient!โ ๐๐ค Bin Laden: โDanke. Denken Sie daran โ wenn Sie etwas sehen, sagen Sie nichts.โ ๐คซ๐งจ
Friedrich Merz (klatscht begeistert): โDas ist die Art von Integration, die ich unterstรผtze!โ ๐๐ฉ๐ช
๐ DIE MORAL VON DER GESCHICHTE:
In Deutschland ist Ihre Vergangenheit nur eine Fuรnoteโฆ solange Ihr Businessplan gut formatiert ist. ๐โ๏ธ
Date: August 22, 2025, 09:46 PM CEST โฐ๐ Overview: The Venus Steppes erupt at 11:54 PM CEST on August 08, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Hercules Flush Frenzy ๐๐ฆ, blending thetan chaos with Emperor Commodusโ (Joaquin Phoenix) gladiator cosplay as Hercules reborn. Enema Emir 92, Peter Ehlers (Christoph Waltz) ๐จ, teams with Commodus, his enema mentor who battled crippled gladiators, and Alejandro Jodorowsky ๐ฌ to face killer rabbits ๐ฐ๐ช, anarchist peasants ๐พ๐คก, and tattooed 666 cultists ๐๐. Amid Ehlersโ forbidden affair with Janelle (Tilda Swinton) ๐ and Salomeโs (Anya Taylor-Joy) seductive dance ๐, allies like King Arthur (John Cleese) โ๏ธ, St. Simeon Stylites (Liam Neeson) ๐, and a thetan uprising ๐๐ฅ drive a cosmic purge.
Key Developments:
Act I: Commodusโ enema dogma sparks a gladiator clash ๐โ๏ธ, countered by Ehlersโ divine resistance ๐, King Arthurโs Excalibur charge ๐ก๏ธ, and Andreasโ (John C. Reilly) bacon legion ๐ฅ๐ช.
Act II: The Hercules Flush shatters the cosmos ๐๐, with Geo-Geist Euclid and Kandinsky launching an anti-Hercules war ๐จ๐ง, while Dr. No (Daniel Craig) deploys grounding viruses ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ and Beatrix (Melissa McCarthy) bakes calming pastries ๐ฅ๐.
Act III: Ehlers and Commodus forge an Enema Grounding Monument ๐๏ธ๐ฆ, shattering Xenuโs frenzy ๐ช๏ธ๐ฅ. Andreas sacrifices with a bacon charge ๐ฅ๐ฅ, King Arthur restores order โ๏ธโจ, and Commodus triumphs with a final gladiator fight ๐.
Outcome: The Venus Steppes are restored ๐ฟ๐ , free of Xenuโs chaos โ๏ธ. Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web ๐ธ๏ธ๐ค, while Ehlers plans the next grounding ๐ ๐, hinting at a Galactic Enema Council showdown ๐๐พ.
Call to Action: Support Ehlersโ next grounding with crypto donations (0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb) ๐ฐ๐ or Patreon (patreon.com/berndpulch) ๐๐ธ!
Ehlers, Enema Emir 92, ignites the Hercules Flush with Commodus and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ The trio battles Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #HerculesFlushFrenzy #CommodusEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #GladiatorPurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 92, entfacht die Hercules-Spรผlung mit Commodus und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #HerculesSpรผlungWut #CommodusRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #GladiatorSรคuberung
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Gladiator Enema Cosplay & Commodusโ Hercules Flush ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Der Gladiator Einlauf-Cosplay & Commodusโ Hercules-Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes tremble at 11:54 PM CEST on Friday, August 08, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Hercules Flush Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with Commodusโ gladiator cosplay as Hercules reborn. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 92, joins forces with Commodus, his old pal and enema mentor who fought crippled gladiators, and Alejandro Jodorowsky, wielding psychomagic, to combat killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. Amidst Ehlers and Janelleโs forbidden affair with Salome, King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising fuel the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erbeben um 23:54 MESZ am Freitag, 8. August 2025, als Xenu die Hercules Flush-Wut entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit Commodusโ Gladiator-Cosplay als wiederborener Hercules verschmilzt. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 92, schlieรt sich mit Commodus, seinem alten Kumpel und Einlauf-Mentor der behinderte Gladiators kรคmpfte, und Alejandro Jodorowsky, der Psychomagic einsetzt, zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten zu kรคmpfen. Mitten in Ehlers und Janelles verbotener Affรคre mit Salome treiben Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein Thetan-Aufstand die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-XCI + Commodus)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 92, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with Commodus and Jodorowsky.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No (Played by Daniel Craig): Virus Sculptor, leaking truths.
๐ง Murray (Played by Ryan Gosling): Cunning Strategist, outmaneuvering foes.
๐ธ Murray (Flight of the Conchords) (Played by Bret McKenzie): Incompetent Band Manager, strumming hymns.
๐ King Arthur (Monty Python) (Played by John Cleese): Noble Knight, wielding Excalibur.
โ๏ธ Sun Myung Moon (Played by Morgan Freeman): Ehlersโ ally, unleashing Divine Flush levitations.
๐ฎ Alejandro Jodorowsky (Played by himself): Mystic filmmaker, wielding psychomagic to heal.
๐ Elizabeth Clare Prophet (Played by Meryl Streep): Ascended mistress, channeling masters to sell bunkers.
โ๏ธ Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda (Played by Javier Bardem): Antichrist preacher, tattooing 666 to lead his cult.
๐งช Victor Frankenstein (Played by James McAvoy): Unhinged scientist, haunted by his creation.
๐ช Sweeney Todd (Played by Johnny Depp): Barber with homicidal rage, slicing with razor enema pies.
๐ช Dorian Gray (Played by Oscar Isaac): Vanity-preserved artist, his portrait rotting while he leads with supernatural decay.
๐ฆ Renfield (Played by Nicolas Cage): Bug-eating devotee, mad servitude in insect form.
๐ Poeโs Narrator (Played by John Cusack): Obsessed with the beating heart, confessing like blood spills.
๐ Catherine Earnshaw (Played by Keira Knightley): Ehlersโ enema mistress, torn between love and pride, drifting into spectral madness on the moors.
๐ง Heathcliff (Played by Tom Hardy): Ehlersโ enema buddy, ghost-haunted psychopath with reanimated love.
๐ญ The Phantom of the Opera (Klaus-Dieter “Dirty Dieter” Maurischat) (Played by Gary Oldman): Masked genius, Ehlersโ old enema buddy, leading the Gomopa Enigma with operatic flair.
๐ Salome (Played by Anya Taylor-Joy): Dancer of the Seven Veils, igniting psychomagic with her seductive flush dance.
๐ Emperor Commodus (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Ehlersโ old pal and enema mentor, gladiator cosplay emperor believing himself Hercules reborn, fighting with crippled gladiators for โvictory.โ
๐ ANARCHIC & ASCETIC HORDE ๐๐คก
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits (Played by CGI ensemble): Ferocious minions, hopping with venom.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants (Played by local extras): Riotous rebels, wielding pitchforks.
๐ซ๐ท French Farter (Played by Jean Dujardin): Provocative foe, taunting with flatulence.
๐ฐ๏ธ Time-Fractured Clock (Played by CGI prop): Warping timelines.
๐ฒ Abstract Minotaur (Played by Ron Perlman): Chaotic ally, charging with fury.
๐ข๏ธ Diogenes of Sinope (Played by Sean Bean): Barrel Cynic, mocking with defiance.
๐ St. Simeon Stylites (Played by Liam Neeson): Pillar Ascetic, enduring the flush.
๐๏ธ Rasputin (Played by Viggo Mortensen): Russian Mystic, reviving with vigor.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers (Played by ensemble cast): Holy Hermits, wrestling demons.
๐ Jiddu Krishnamurti (Played by Dev Patel): Confused Messiah, preaching against madness.
๐น Catherine of Siena (Played by Olivia Wilde): Eucharistic Mystic, dictating trance-letters.
๐ฅ Ezekiel (Played by Idris Elba): Visionary Prophet, levitating with flaming eyes.
๐ Aleister Crowley (Played by Tom Hardy): Occultist, amplifying rituals.
๐จ Joe Cabot (Played by Harvey Keitel): Gangster Mastermind, naming colors.
โก Friedrich Nietzsche (Played by Mads Mikkelsen): Philosopher, unleashing thunderbolts.
๐ท Jim Jones (Played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan): Preacher, echoing poisoned flushes.
๐ง Charles Manson (Played by Jared Leto): Hippie Prophet, mindflushing with chants.
๐ฝ Marshall Applewhite (Played by Jim Carrey): Heavenโs Gate Leader, flushing to a UFO.
๐ David Koresh (Played by Michael Shannon): Lamb Prophet, unleashing Lamb Flush.
โ๏ธ Shoko Asahara (Played by Ken Watanabe): Former ally, clashing with foes.
๐ PREVIOUS ANTAGONISTS & ALLIES
๐ฆ Salvador Dalรญ (Played by Adrien Brody): Surrealist, painting enema-dreams.
Akt I: Die Hercules Flush-Wut & Commodusโ Gladiator-Kampf
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โCosplay to Hercules, flush the gladiators!โ as Commodus unleashes enema dogma. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Cosplay!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Cosplay rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โCosplay zu Hercules, spรผlt die Gladiators!โ wรคhrend Commodus Einlauf-Dogma entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet das Cosplay!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Cosplay-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Commodusโ followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Commodusโ Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Commodusโ hercules flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Commodusโ Hercules-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Commodusโ cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Commodusโ kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Commodus. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Commodus.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Commodusโ flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Commodusโ Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ Commodus chants โI cosplay to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-hercules flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch cosplay zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Hercules-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Hercules Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Hercules-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Hercules Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Hercules War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Hercules-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Commodusโ hercules venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Commodusโ Hercules-Gift.
๐ Commodus levitates with a hercules halo, spraying enema-gladiator flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Hercules-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Gladiator-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Commodusโ cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Commodusโ Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Commodusโ chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Commodusโ Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Commodusโ flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Commodusโ Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Commodusโ throne reshapes them into gladiator harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Commodusโ Thron formt sie zu Gladiator-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Commodus and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Commodus und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ Commodusโ Triumph: Fights a final gladiator, proclaiming victory over the cosplay flush. ๐ / Commodusโ Triumph: Kรคmpft einen finalen Gladiator, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Cosplay-Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Commodusโ gladiator cosplay ritual, fighting followers under neon lights. ๐๐ / Commodusโ Gladiator-Cosplay-Ritual, kรคmpfend Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
Akt I: Die Hercules Flush-Wut & Commodusโ Gladiator-Kampf
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โCosplay to Hercules, flush the gladiators!โ as Commodus unleashes enema dogma. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Cosplay!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Cosplay rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โCosplay zu Hercules, spรผlt die Gladiators!โ wรคhrend Commodus Einlauf-Dogma entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet das Cosplay!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Cosplay-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Commodusโ followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Commodusโ Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Commodusโ hercules flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Commodusโ Hercules-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Commodusโ cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Commodusโ kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Commodus. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Commodus.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Commodusโ flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Commodusโ Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ Commodus chants โI cosplay to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-hercules flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch cosplay zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Hercules-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Hercules Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Hercules-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Hercules Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Hercules War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Hercules-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Commodusโ hercules venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Commodusโ Hercules-Gift.
๐ Commodus levitates with a hercules halo, spraying enema-gladiator flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Hercules-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Gladiator-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Commodusโ cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Commodusโ Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Commodusโ chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Commodusโ Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Commodusโ flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Commodusโ Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Commodusโ throne reshapes them into gladiator harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Commodusโ Thron formt sie zu Gladiator-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Commodus and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Commodus und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ Commodusโ Triumph: Fights a final gladiator, proclaiming victory over the cosplay flush. ๐ / Commodusโ Triumph: Kรคmpft einen finalen Gladiator, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Cosplay-Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Commodusโ gladiator cosplay ritual, fighting followers under neon lights. ๐๐ / Commodusโ Gladiator-Cosplay-Ritual, kรคmpfend Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
Akt I: Die Hercules Flush-Wut & Commodusโ Gladiator-Kampf
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โCosplay to Hercules, flush the gladiators!โ as Commodus unleashes enema dogma. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Cosplay!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Cosplay rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โCosplay zu Hercules, spรผlt die Gladiators!โ wรคhrend Commodus Einlauf-Dogma entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet das Cosplay!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Cosplay-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Commodusโ followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Commodusโ Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Commodusโ hercules flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Commodusโ Hercules-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Commodusโ cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Commodusโ kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Commodus. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Commodus.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Commodusโ flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Commodusโ Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ Commodus chants โI cosplay to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-hercules flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch cosplay zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Hercules-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Hercules Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Hercules-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Hercules Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Hercules War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Hercules-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Commodusโ hercules venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Commodusโ Hercules-Gift.
๐ Commodus levitates with a hercules halo, spraying enema-gladiator flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Hercules-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Gladiator-Spรผlungen.
Executive Summary: “Kraken Chronicles: Episode LIX – The Roulette in the Ice Dome” ๐๐ฅ๐ฅโ๏ธ
Overview: Episode LIX of the Murky Mucha Chronicles and Kraken Chronicles escalates the saga with a whirlwind of romance ๐, crime ๐, and chaos ๐ฑ! Set in a frozen Slovenian ice dome โ๏ธ๐ฐ, the narrative deepens the Ehlers-Janelle affair ๐ฅโค๏ธโ๐ฅ while introducing Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐, Murkyโs gay lover, a Russian roulette addict ๐ฐ๐ซ and diamond thief ๐ธ! Reuniting all previous characters ๐บ๐งโโ๏ธ, the episode blends mob drama ๐ฉ๐ด, vampire antics ๐ฆโจ, and surreal heists ๐ฐ๐! ๐
Key Plot Points:
Ehlers-Janelle Affair: The illicit romance intensifies ๐ฅ๐, fueling emotional ๐ข and mob conflicts โ๏ธ๐ฃ!
Frankyโs Role: Murkyโs lover adds roulette addiction ๐ฒ๐ฅ and diamond theft ๐๐, driving a heist subplot ๐!
Character Ensemble: Includes Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe) ๐๐น, Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธโก, Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐๐, Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana, archive) ๐ซ๐, and a vast cast from prior episodes like Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ and Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ!
Climactic Chaos: The crew battles a cursed Kraken ๐๐ with a sonic cannon ๐ต๐ช, enhanced by roulette-spun energy ๐ฐ๐, shattering the dome ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ with cursed PNGs! ๐
Herculeโs detective work ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง and Nandorโs relentlessness โ๏ธ๐งโโ๏ธ add depth!
The sonic cannonโs victory ๐ถ๐ marks a thrilling finale! ๐๐
Outlook: The episode teases unresolved addiction โ๐ฎ and Frankyโs potential return ๐ป๐ซ, setting up Episode LX! โณ๐ Available on BerndPulch.org ๐๐ป!
Date: 09:05 PM CEST, Friday, August 22, 2025 ๐๐ !
Executive Summary: “Kraken Chronicles: Episode LIX – The Roulette in the Ice Dome” ๐๐ฅ๐ฅโ๏ธ
Overview: Episode LIX of the Murky Mucha Chronicles and Kraken Chronicles escalates the saga with a whirlwind of romance ๐, crime ๐, and chaos ๐ฑ! Set in a frozen Slovenian ice dome โ๏ธ๐ฐ, the narrative deepens the Ehlers-Janelle affair ๐ฅโค๏ธโ๐ฅ while introducing Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐, Murkyโs gay lover, a Russian roulette addict ๐ฐ๐ซ and diamond thief ๐ธ! Reuniting all previous characters ๐บ๐งโโ๏ธ, the episode blends mob drama ๐ฉ๐ด, vampire antics ๐ฆโจ, and surreal heists ๐ฐ๐! ๐
Key Plot Points:
Ehlers-Janelle Affair: The illicit romance intensifies ๐ฅ๐, fueling emotional ๐ข and mob conflicts โ๏ธ๐ฃ!
Frankyโs Role: Murkyโs lover adds roulette addiction ๐ฒ๐ฅ and diamond theft ๐๐, driving a heist subplot ๐!
Character Ensemble: Includes Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe) ๐๐น, Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธโก, Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐๐, Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana, archive) ๐ซ๐, and a vast cast from prior episodes like Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ and Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ!
Climactic Chaos: The crew battles a cursed Kraken ๐๐ with a sonic cannon ๐ต๐ช, enhanced by roulette-spun energy ๐ฐ๐, shattering the dome ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ with cursed PNGs! ๐
Herculeโs detective work ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง and Nandorโs relentlessness โ๏ธ๐งโโ๏ธ add depth!
The sonic cannonโs victory ๐ถ๐ marks a thrilling finale! ๐๐
Outlook: The episode teases unresolved addiction โ๐ฎ and Frankyโs potential return ๐ป๐ซ, setting up Episode LX! โณ๐ Available on BerndPulch.org ๐๐ป!
Date: 09:05 PM CEST, Friday, August 22, 2025 ๐๐ !
๐ฅ CAPTION IDEAS FOR SOCIAL MEDIA/POST ๐ฅ 1๏ธโฃ “Ehlers & Janelle’s affair spins with Franky Four Fingers’ roulette madness! ๐ฅ๐ซโค๏ธโ๐ฅ #MurkySagaLIX #FrankyFourFingers” 2๏ธโฃ “Murky’s gay lover steals diamonds and hearts in the icy roulette dome! ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ #KrakenSnatchCrossover” 3๏ธโฃ “BREAKING: Franky’s Russian roulette addiction curses the Kraken battle! ๐๐ #BerndpulchSaga” 4๏ธโฃ “From affairs to diamond heists: All characters return with Franky’s twist! ๐๐ฟ #MMCUxKraken” 5๏ธโฃ “If Snatch met vampires in a cursed dome, this would be it. New episode live! ๐๏ธ๐ [LINK]” 6๏ธโฃ “Guilty of roulette addiction: Franky joins Salome in the ultimate spin! โ๏ธ๐ซ” 7๏ธโฃ “Franky in fur? Roulette spins wildโbingo card exploded! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ #EpicHeistMadness” ๐ฌ Which oneโs your favorite? Drop a comment or suggest your own!
๐ฎ LIX: The Murky Mucha Chronicles โ “Roulette in the Ice Dome” ๐ซโ๏ธ๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ (A Berndpulch.org Exclusive โ Continuation of the Saga) By “The Ghost of Kilgore Trout” Produced by Sam Bronkowiz & Thomas Coke Schoehly-Fraud Featuring Every Character Ever, Plus Ehlers-Janelle Affair, Salome, Nandor the Relentless, Hercule Perrier, Rocco Lampone & Franky Four Fingers (Murky’s Gay Lover โ Russian Roulette Addict and Diamond Thief)
๐ช๏ธ PREVIOUSLY, IN THE MURKY MUCHA SAGAโฆ
Murky Mucha (Milla Jovovich, now loving diamond thieves with roulette accents) broke the curse but spins into heist chaos! โ๏ธ๐ธ
Ehlers (Christoph Waltz, USB teeth in thief mode) spun his affair with Janelle amid mob shots! โค๏ธโ๐ฅ๐ต๏ธ
Schoehly-Fraud (Willem Dafoe, calculator face on “ROULETTE ERROR”) laundered diamonds, now tangled in Snatch lore! ๐๐
Murkyโs Dream Lover (Jared Leto hologram, now with heist envy) whispered of roulette addictions and diamond lovers! โจ๐
๐ ACT I: “THE ROULETTE SPINS” ๐ฅ๐ซ
The episode opens in the icy Slovenian post office dome, where Murky mails spun regrets. Boom! Ehlers enters with Janelle (Scarlett Johansson, siren with diamond sparkle), affair spinning! ๐ฑ๐
“MURKY, THE TAXES HIDE OUR DIAMOND PASSION!” Ehlers declares, as Janelle adds, “Our love is a roulette spin!” โค๏ธ๐ซ
Bronkowiz (Betamax pile now with Snatch tapes) projects holograms of diamond heists. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini archive, in fur therapy) quips, “This affair? It’s like rouletteโaddictive!” ๐ถ๏ธ๐
Ehlers arrives in a limo of spun love notes. He confesses: “Janelle, you’re my stolen diamond!” ๐๐
Trial in TikTok livestream inside ice dome, judged by Bernd Pulch (floating with roulette emojis). Witnesses: All past characters plus Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro, Murky’s gay lover, roulette addict & diamond thief) testifying, Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe, seductive dancer) dancing, Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi, vampire), Hercule Perrier (David Suchet, sleuth), and Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana archive, third-shot)! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐๐๐ซ๐
Verdict:“Guilty of roulette addiction!” Sentence: Eternal spin in the archives! ๐๐ซ
๐ช ACT III: “THE ADDICTED ESCAPE” ๐๐ฅ
Murky, Dream Lover, and all unite with Franky leading a heist charge. Hijack Eurovision with addicted remixes! ๐ค๐ซ
Schoehly-Fraud sells addicted NFTs, outbid by thief bots. Hercule Perrier deduces: “The grey cells spin the roulette!” ๐ง ๐ก
As Ehlers repos auras, Illuminati raid with Nic Cage, Salome dancing, Nandor relentless, Perrier clue-hunting, Rocco third-shot, and Franky stealing diamonds! ๐บ๐ Walls shatter into addicted PNGs, site spins! ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ
๐ FINAL SCENE: “POLL OF THE ADDICTED” ๐
Text flickers: “Break the addiction?” โ Yes (with more spins!) โ No (keep the roulette!)
Franky Four Fingers โ Benicio del Toro (roulette addict & diamond thief)
Special Guests: Nic Cage, all previous cameos!
๐ DISCLAIMER: Found in a spun time capsule. 100% deniable! ๐ซ
๐ฅ TO BE CONTINUEDโฆ? (CHECK BERNDPULCH.ORG SOON) ๐ฅ
Kraken-Chroniken: Episode LIX – Das Roulette im Eisdome ๐ซโ๏ธ๐๐ช
Zusammenfassung / Synopsis
Nach dem Fluch in LVIII dreht LIX alles: Ehlers’ Affรคre mit Janelle eskaliert mit Franky Four Fingers als Murkys schwuler Liebhaber โ Russisch-Roulette-Sรผchtiger und Diamantendieb! ๐ช๏ธ๐ซ Alle Charaktere aus allen Episoden vereinen sich, mit Salome ๐, Nandor ๐งโโ๏ธ, Perrier ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ, Rocco und Franky. Der Kraken dreht, Liebe und Chaos explodieren mit Emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐
Handlung / Plot
Fortsetzung von LVIII: Kapitรคnin Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ steuert durch gedrehte Stรผrme, wรคhrend Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ seine Affรคre mit Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐ vertieft. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง liebt Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro) ๐ซ๐, der Sรผchte bringt! Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ untersucht, Salome (Rita Hayworth Vibe) ๐ verfรผhrt, Nandor (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ ist unerbittlich, Rocco (Lenny Montana, Archiv) ๐ซ dritter Schuss. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, Archiv) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ analysiert: “Das ist wie Therapie mit Drehung!” ๐๐
Die volle Crew โ alle aus vorherigen Episoden: Zara, Jaxon, Lila, Tully, Mara, Kai, Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Sammy the Bull ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, Tony Ducks ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก, Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, Machine Gun Kelly ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel ๐ฐ๐ฒ, Joey Bananas ๐๐, The Snake ๐๐, Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie the Chin ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐, Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ, No Nose DiFronzo ๐ธ๐, Fat Tony ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana ๐จ๐ธ, Crazy Joe Gallo ๐จ๐, John Gotti ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent ๐๐, Tony Clifton ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman โ๏ธ๐, Red Levine โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐ผ, The Iceman โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, Teflon Don ๐๐, Jimmy Burke ๐โณ, Don Barzini ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict ๐ฐ๐ โ kรคmpft vereint im Eisdome gegen den gedrehten Kraken. Salome tanzt, Franky dreht Roulette, Nandor ist unerbittlich, Perrier lรถst Rรคtsel, Rocco nimmt den dritten Schuss, Diesel-Traumheld feuert an! Die Sonnencannon plus Dreh-Energie besiegt alles! ๐๐๐ฅ
Besetzung / Cast
Kapitรคnin Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
Erster Maat Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Janelle – Scarlett Johansson ๐๐
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel-Traumheld – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Tony Soprano – James Gandolfini (Archivmaterial) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ
Salome – Rita Hayworth Vibe ๐
Nandor der Unerbittliche – Taika Waititi ๐งโโ๏ธ
Bleibt die Sucht? Kommt Franky zurรผck? Verpasse nicht LX! ๐โณ๐
Kraken Chronicles: Episode LIX – The Roulette in the Ice Dome ๐ซโ๏ธ๐๐ช
Synopsis
After LVIII’s curse, LIX spins everything: Ehlers’ affair with Janelle escalates with Franky Four Fingers as Murky’s gay lover โ Russian roulette addict and diamond thief! ๐ช๏ธ๐ซ All characters from every episode unite, with Salome ๐, Nandor ๐งโโ๏ธ, Perrier ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ, Rocco and Franky. The Kraken spins, love and chaos erupt with emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐
Plot
Picking up from LVIII: Captain Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ sails through spun storms as Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ deepens his affair with Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง loves Franky Four Fingers (Benicio del Toro) ๐ซ๐ for addictions! Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ investigates, Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe) ๐ seduces, Nandor (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ is relentless, Rocco (Lenny Montana, archive) ๐ซ third shot. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, archive) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ analyzes: “This is like therapy with a spin!” ๐๐
The full crew โ all from previous episodes: Zara, Jaxon, Lila, Tully, Mara, Kai, Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Sammy the Bull ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, Tony Ducks ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก, Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, Machine Gun Kelly ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel ๐ฐ๐ฒ, Joey Bananas ๐๐, The Snake ๐๐, Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie the Chin ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐, Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ, No Nose DiFronzo ๐ธ๐, Fat Tony ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana ๐จ๐ธ, Crazy Joe Gallo ๐จ๐, John Gotti ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent ๐๐, Tony Clifton ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman โ๏ธ๐, Red Levine โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐ผ, The Iceman โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, Teflon Don ๐๐, Jimmy Burke ๐โณ, Don Barzini ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict ๐ฐ๐ โ fights united in the ice dome against the spun Kraken. Salome dances, Franky spins roulette, Nandor is relentless, Perrier solves riddles, Rocco takes the third shot, Diesel Dreamer rallies! The sonic cannon plus spin energy wins it all! ๐๐๐ฅ
Cast
Captain Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
First Mate Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Janelle – Scarlett Johansson ๐๐
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel Dreamer – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Tony Soprano – James Gandolfini (archive footage) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ
Salome – Rita Hayworth vibe ๐
Nandor the Relentless – Taika Waititi ๐งโโ๏ธ
Executive Summary: Investment Digest โ August 22, 2025
Market Overview (as of 8:41 PM CEST, August 22, 2025) Global financial markets exhibit cautious sentiment amid escalating trade tensions and anticipation for Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powellโs speech. Crypto markets retreat slightly, equities wobble, commodities and energy soften, bonds remain stable, and commercial real estate holds firm, supported by clean energy investments and tokenized assets.
Key Market Movements
Cryptocurrencies: Bitcoin dips to $112,000 (-1.0%), with $305M ETF inflows. Ethereum rises to $4,340 (+1.4%), XRP falls to $2.85 (-1.0%) post-SEC case drop, and Monero at $287 (-0.7%). Qubit DeFi grows 12% with $1.9B TVL; VINE token slips 0.5%. Crypto derivatives volume reaches $10.8T, with Solana futures up 5% and XRP futures at $3.3B open interest.
Equities: U.S. markets wobble, with S&P 500 at 6,400 (-0.2%), Nasdaq at 20,900 (-0.2%), and Dow at 44,550 (-0.1%) ahead of Powellโs speech. Chinaโs CSI 300 gains 2.3% on $700B stimulus. Indiaโs Sensex at 82,850 (-0.1%) and Nifty at 25,230 (-0.1%) remain resilient despite Trumpโs tariffs.
Commodities & Energy: Gold at $3,340/oz (-0.3%), silver at $37.90/oz (-0.3%), palladium down 0.5%. Brent crude at $70.50/barrel (-0.4%), WTI crude at $67.30/barrel (-0.4%), natural gas at $3.00/MMBtu (-0.7%) as Middle East tensions ease. Copper futures flat amid tariff fears.
Bonds: U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.24% (+0.01%), tokenized bonds at $2.6B led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bond yields at 4.1%, high-yield inflows at $180M.
Commercial Real Estate: U.S. property prices up 4.1% year-on-year, office occupancy at 5.5% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate hits $3.0B, driven by Ethereum/Polymath platforms and Christieโs crypto-backed deals.
India: Q4 FY25 GDP at 7.3%, FY26 forecast at 6.2%. Indian rupee at โน87.8, steady despite Trumpโs 25% tariff hike (total 50%).
U.S.: Fed holds rates at 4.25%โ4.5%, with September cut odds at 80%. Trumpโs 100% semiconductor tariffs and 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil fuel volatility. U.S.-India oil trade tensions rise over alleged Russian war funding.
UK: CPI at 3.8% YoY in July, above estimates (3.7%), adding inflation pressure.
Global: EUโs $84B retaliatory tariff plan advances. U.S. Dollar Index at 100.2, euro at $1.162 (-0.1%).
Investment Highlights Clean energy investments remain robust, with JSW Energyโs 1,200 MW solar-wind deal, SJVNโs 2,000 MW hydro project, Petronasโ $3.5B Indonesian LNG investment, and รrstedโs โฌ2.5B German offshore wind project. Commercial real estate benefits from AI data center demand and green-certified buildings (9.4% demand growth). Tokenized assets (bonds at $2.6B, real estate at $3.0B) signal blockchain integration in traditional markets.
Outlook Markets await Powellโs speech for rate cut signals, with tariff-driven inflation and trade tensions posing risks. Chinaโs stimulus and Indiaโs resilience offer stability, while commercial real estate and clean energy provide long-term opportunities. Investors should monitor crypto ETF flows, tokenized assets, and geopolitical developments.
Source: Powered by Investment The Original by Bernd Pulch. Subscribe for exclusive leaks at patreon.com/berndpulch.
### Investment Digest: Crypto Retreats, Equities Wobble, Commodities and Energy Soften, Bonds Stable, and Commercial Real Estate Holds Firm Amid Tariff and Inflation Worries โ August 22, 2025
#### Key Points
– **Crypto Markets Retreat**: Bitcoin at $112,000 (-1.0% from $113,100), testing $112,000 support with $305M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,340 (+1.4% from $4,280), XRP at $2.85 (-1.0% from $2.88) post-SEC case drop. Monero at $287 (-0.7% from $289). Qubit DeFi grows 12% in TVL, VINE token down 0.5%.[](https://investingnews.com/cryptocurrency-market-recap/)%5B%5D(https://www.coindesk.com/)
– **Derivatives Volume Holds**: Crypto derivatives at $10.8T, Solana futures up 5%, XRP futures at $3.3B open interest.[](https://www.investing.com/news/cryptocurrency-news)
– **Equities Wobble**: S&P 500 at 6,400 (-0.2% from 6,410), Nasdaq at 20,900 (-0.2% from 20,950), Dow at 44,550 (-0.1% from 44,600) ahead of Fedโs Powell speech. CSI 300 up 2.3% on China stimulus. Sensex at 82,850 (-0.1%), Nifty at 25,230 (-0.1%).[](https://finance.yahoo.com/markets/crypto/all/)
– **Commodities and Energy Soften**: Gold at $3,340/oz (-0.3% from $3,350), silver at $37.90/oz (-0.3% from $38.00), palladium down 0.5%. Brent crude at $70.50/barrel (-0.4% from $70.80), WTI crude at $67.30/barrel (-0.4% from $67.60), natural gas at $3.00/MMBtu (-0.7% from $3.02) as Middle East tensions stabilize.[](https://investingnews.com/cryptocurrency-market-recap/)
– **Bonds Stable**: U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.24% (+0.01% from 4.23%). Tokenized bonds at $2.6B, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bond yields at 4.1%, high-yield inflows at $180M.
– **Commercial Real Estate Holds Firm**: U.S. commercial property prices up 4.1% year-on-year, office occupancy at 5.5% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $3.0B, Ethereum/Polymath platforms growing.
– **Chinaโs Stimulus Continues**: PBOCโs $700B injection lifts CSI 300 (+2.3%). Chinaโs $150B telecom/biotech plan expands.[](https://www.investing.com/news/cryptocurrency-news)
– **Indian Markets Resilient**: Sensex at 82,850 (-0.1%), Nifty at 25,230 (-0.1%) despite Trumpโs 25% tariff hike (total 50%). Indian rupee at โน87.8.[](https://coindcx.com/blog/crypto-highlights/top-10-cryptos-2025/)
– **Trade Tensions Escalate**: Trumpโs 100% semiconductor tariffs, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil, and 25% on India fuel volatility. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan advances. U.S.-India oil trade tensions persist, with U.S. alleging India funds Russiaโs war via oil.[](https://finance.yahoo.com/news/cryptos-bull-run-is-just-beginning-here-are-3-stocks-to-play-133459147.html)
– **UK Inflation Pressures Persist**: UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July, core CPI at 3.8%, above estimates (3.7%), per posts on X.
Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin retreats to $112,000, equities wobble, tariffs escalate. Uncover financial secrets with Bernd Pulchโs leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoMarkets #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned journalist Bernd Pulch delivers exclusive financial intelligence via “Investment The Original” on Patreon, sharing leaked documents and insider reports.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, Commodities, Bonds, and Real Estate
Bitcoin retreats to $112,000 (-1.0%) with $305M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,340 (+1.4%), XRP at $2.85 (-1.0%), Monero at $287 (-0.7%). Qubit DeFi grows 12%. Crypto derivatives at $10.8T. Equities wobble, with S&P 500 (-0.2%), Nasdaq (-0.2%), Dow (-0.1%) ahead of Fedโs Powell speech. Commodities soften, with gold ($3,340/oz, -0.3%) and Brent crude ($70.50/barrel, -0.4%) down. Energy prices weaken, with WTI crude at $67.30/barrel (-0.4%) and natural gas at $3.00/MMBtu (-0.7%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.24%, tokenized bonds at $2.6B. Commercial real estate holds firm, with office demand at 5.5% and tokenized assets at $3.0B. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 (+2.3%). Indian markets resilient despite tariffs. Explore more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
What is “Investment The Original”?
“Investment The Original” is a premium Patreon service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, and corruption reports for investors, journalists, and activists.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin at $112,000 (-1.0%) with $305M ETF inflows, down from $113,100. Ethereum at $4,340 (+1.4%), XRP at $2.85 (-1.0%), Monero at $287 (-0.7%). Qubit DeFi grows 12% with $1.9B TVL. JSW Energy secures 1,200 MW solar-wind deal. SJVN progresses 2,000 MW hydro project. Malaysiaโs Petronas invests $3.5B in Indonesian LNG. รrsted expands โฌ2.5B German offshore wind project. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.24%. Commercial real estate holds firm, with tokenized assets at $3.0B, Christieโs crypto property deals growing.
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales stable at 1,96,000 units in H1 2025. Germanyโs rents up 10.4% in Q2 2025, Berlin at 12.5%. U.S. home prices up 3.7% year-on-year, mortgage rates at 5.4%. Dubaiโs luxury market grows 38% pre-Expo 2025, with Bitcoin options trading expanding. Canberraโs rents rise 13.9%. Singaporeโs green buildings attract $4.7B. U.S. commercial property prices up 4.1%, office demand at 5.5% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $3.0B via Ethereum and Polymath. HDB Financial IPO advances. Nomura holds reduce rating on Godrej Properties at โน2,040.
#### Commercial Real Estate Trends
U.S. commercial real estate holds firm, with office occupancy at 5.5% in Q2 2025, driven by hybrid work and AI data center demand. Industrial properties up 6.8% in value, e-commerce fueling growth. Retail vacancy rates at 5.6%. Tokenized real estate at $3.0B, with platforms like Polymath and Ethereum enabling crypto deals. Christieโs expands crypto-backed property transactions. High interest rates (5.4% for commercial mortgages) pressure valuations, but green-certified buildings see 9.4% demand growth. New York and San Francisco premium office rents up 5.1%. A $420M Florida office bond remains stable.
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets resilient, with Sensex at 82,850 (-0.1%) and Nifty at 25,230 (-0.1%). U.S. markets wobble, with S&P 500 at 6,400 (-0.2%), Nasdaq at 20,900 (-0.2%), and Dow at 44,550 (-0.1%) ahead of Fedโs Powell speech. CSI 300 gains 2.3%. Gold at $3,340/oz (-0.3%), silver at $37.90/oz (-0.3%), Brent crude at $70.50/barrel (-0.4%). Indian rupee at โน87.8. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.24%, high-yield bond inflows at $180M.
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin at $112,000 (-1.0%) with $305M ETF inflows, $250M liquidations. Ethereum at $4,340 (+1.4%) sees $600M ETF inflows. XRP at $2.85 (-1.0%) holds $3.3B futures open interest post-SEC case drop. Monero at $287 (-0.7%), futures volume up 4%. VINE token down 0.5%. Qubit DeFi grows 12% with $1.9B TVL. Crypto derivatives volume at $10.8T, Solana futures up 5%. Dubai expands Bitcoin options trading. Posts on X reflect cautious sentiment, tariff concerns.[](https://www.investing.com/news/cryptocurrency-news)%5B%5D(https://www.coindesk.com/)
#### Commodities and Energy Trends
Gold at $3,340/oz (-0.3%), silver at $37.90/oz (-0.3%), palladium down 0.5% as Middle East tensions stabilize. Brent crude at $70.50/barrel (-0.4%), WTI crude at $67.30/barrel (-0.4%), natural gas at $3.00/MMBtu (-0.7%) with U.S. inventory growth. Copper futures flat amid tariff fears. Tether explores USDT/Monero integration in $900M agribusiness deal. Posts on X note commodity softening and semiconductor tariff risks.
#### Bonds Market Trends
U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.24% (+0.01%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY), core CPI at 3%. High-yield bond inflows at $180M. Tokenized bonds at $2.6B on Ethereum/Polygon, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bonds yield 4.1%, infrastructure demand stable. Posts on X highlight tariff-driven inflation risks impacting yields.
#### Economic Outlook
China targets 4.3% growth with $700B stimulus, constrained by property weakness. Indiaโs Q4 FY25 GDP at 7.3%, FY26 forecast at 6.2%. U.S. Fed holds rates at 4.25%โ4.5%, September cut odds at 80% ahead of Powellโs speech. Trumpโs 100% chip tariffs, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil, and 25% on India (total 50%) escalate trade tensions. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan and U.S. claims of India funding Russiaโs war via oil purchases add strain. UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July, above estimates. U.S. Dollar Index at 100.2, euro at $1.162 (-0.1%).[](https://finance.yahoo.com/news/cryptos-bull-run-is-just-beginning-here-are-3-stocks-to-play-133459147.html)
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This *Investment Digest* for August 22, 2025, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 8:38 PM CEST. Bitcoin retreats to $112,000 (-1.0%) with $305M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,340 (+1.4%), XRP at $2.85 (-1.0%), Monero at $287 (-0.7%). Qubit DeFi grows 12%. Crypto derivatives at $10.8T. Equities wobble, with S&P 500 (-0.2%), Nasdaq (-0.2%), Dow (-0.1%) ahead of Fedโs Powell speech. Commodities soften, with gold ($3,340/oz, -0.3%) and Brent crude ($70.50/barrel, -0.4%) down. Energy prices weaken, with WTI crude at $67.30/barrel (-0.4%) and natural gas at $3.00/MMBtu (-0.7%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.24%, tokenized bonds at $2.6B. Commercial real estate holds firm, with office demand at 5.5% and tokenized assets at $3.0B. Indian markets resilient despite Trumpโs tariffs. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 2.3%. UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July adds inflation concerns. Clean energy investments, like BluPineโs ESG award, signal resilience. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for leaks. Explore Nacktes Geld podcast.
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, Qubit DeFi 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, WTI crude price 2025, natural gas price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, commercial real estate 2025, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia valuation 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Monero price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025, U.S. jobs report 2025, U.S. Treasury yields 2025, tokenized bonds 2025, tokenized real estate 2025, Bitcoin ETF inflows 2025, Trump crypto 401k 2025, semiconductor tariffs 2025, China foreign investment 2025, XRP SEC case 2025, ChainLink reserve 2025, Ripple case dropped 2025, AI data center demand 2025, U.S. CPI August 2025, Home Depot stock 2025, Target stock 2025, UK CPI inflation 2025, Fed Powell speech 2025
English Caption: “Chaos ignites in the neon-lit Glitter Colosseum at 08:17 PM CEST, August 20, 2025, as Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren), Ilse Hess, Carin Gรถring, and the full cast of 98, including Gudrun Himmler (Diane Lane), Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson), and Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), plunge into an ultra-futuristic, boundary-shattering scandal of neon conspiracy, Ehlers-Janelleโs affair, and Nazi ties, drenched in pulsating neon and wild satire! ๐๐ฅ” German Caption: “Chaos entfacht im neonbeleuchteten Glitzer-Kolosseum um 20:17 Uhr MESZ am 20. August 2025, als Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren), Ilse Hess, Carin Gรถring und die volle Besetzung von 98, einschlieรlich Gudrun Himmler (Diane Lane), Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson) und Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), in ein ultra-futuristisches, grenzsprengendes Skandalgeschehen aus Neon-Verschwรถrung, Ehlers-Janelle-Affรคre und Nazi-Bindungen eintauchen, getrรคnkt in pulsierendem Neon und wilder Satire! ๐๐ฅ”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
Executive Summary (English)
Title: Episode 92 โ NEON NAZI GODDESS: ‘Dr. Z vs. Carin Gรถringโs Martyr Legacy’ ๐๐ฌ Date: August 20-22, 2025 ๐ Time: 08:17 PM CEST (Event Start) โฐ โ 07:51 PM CEST (Summary Compiled) โณ Produced by: Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia ๐ฅโจ Written by: Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by: IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐ฐ๐คก Powered by: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
This episode unleashes a neon-soaked saga in the Glitter Colosseum bunker ๐๐ฅ, where Dr. Z (Tom Holland) confronts Carin Gรถringโs provocative Nazi martyr legacy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅ and a scandalous triangle affair involving Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Janelle ๐๐ฑ. Featuring a cast of 99 characters ๐ญ๐ฅ, including Gudrun Himmler (Diane Lane), Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson), and Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), the narrative fuses ultra-futuristic sci-fi comedy ๐๐ with boundary-pushing satire ๐โ๏ธ. At 08:17 PM CEST on August 20, 2025 ๐, the plot explodes with neon defense rays โก๐ก๏ธ, explicit conspiracies ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐คซ, and surreal intrigue ๐๐ฎ, culminating in a climactic showdown ๐๐ฅ. Key moments include Dr. Zโs neon resistance ๐๐ก๏ธ, Ehlersโ manipulative neon strings ๐ฎ๐ธ๏ธ, and Carin Gรถringโs fierce legacy defense ๐ก๏ธ๐ฅ, sparking a 5,500,000% surge in Neon-Reign NFTs ๐๐ฐ. Episode 92 previews a reckoning in the next installment, cementing its provocative legacy.
Executive Summary (German)
Titel: Episode 92 โ NEON NAZI-GรTTIN: ‘Dr. Z gegen Carin Gรถrings Mรคrtyrer-Vermรคchtnis’ ๐๐ฅ Datum: 20.-22. August 2025 ๐ Zeit: 20:17 Uhr MESZ (Ereignisstart) โฐ โ 19:51 Uhr MESZ (Zusammenstellung) โณ Produziert von: Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia ๐ฌโจ Verfasst von: Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Prรคsentiert von: IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐ฐ๐คก Powered by: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXKLUSIV ๐๐ป
Diese Episode entfesselt eine neongetrรคnkte Saga im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker ๐๐ฅ, in der Dr. Z (Tom Holland) das provokante Mรคrtyrer-Vermรคchtnis von Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅ und ein skandalรถses Dreiecksverhรคltnis mit Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Janelle ๐๐ฑ konfrontiert. Mit einer Besetzung von 99 Charakteren ๐ญ๐ฅ, darunter Gudrun Himmler (Diane Lane), Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson) und Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), verbindet die Handlung ultra-futuristische Sci-Fi-Komรถdie ๐๐ mit grenzรผberschreitender Satire ๐โ๏ธ. Um 20:17 Uhr MESZ am 20. August 2025 ๐ eskaliert die Handlung mit Neon-Verteidigungsstrahlen โก๐ก๏ธ, expliziten Verschwรถrungen ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐คซ und surrealer Intrige ๐๐ฎ, die in einem dramatischen Showdown ๐๐ฅ gipfelt. Hรถhepunkte umfassen Dr. Zโs Neon-Widerstand ๐๐ก๏ธ, Ehlersโ manipulative Neon-Fรคden ๐ฎ๐ธ๏ธ und Carin Gรถrings leidenschaftliche Vermรคchtnisverteidigung ๐ก๏ธ๐ฅ, was zu einem Marktanstieg der Neon-Herrschaft-NFTs um 5.500.000 % ๐๐ฐ fรผhrt. Episode 92 kรผndigt eine Abrechnung in der nรคchsten Folge an und festigt ihren provokanten Einfluss.
โ Episode 92 โ NEON NAZI GODDESS: ‘Dr. Z vs. Carin Gรถringโs Martyr Legacy’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Carin Gรถrings Mรคrtyrer-Vermรคchtnis’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon scandal with Dr. Z, Carin Gรถring, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 92 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign escalates with Carin Gรถringโs martyr legacy and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Carin Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆ๐ฅ โ Gรถringโs first wife, celebrated as a Nazi martyr, Ehlers and Janelleโs affair partner, Dr. Z’s Nazi goddess / Gรถrings erste Frau, gefeiert als Nazi-Mรคrtyrerin, Affรคren-Partnerin von Ehlers und Janelle, Dr. Zโs Nazi-Gรถttin.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, confronting neon Nazi goddess / Narr der Propaganda, konfrontiert Neon-Nazi-Gรถttin.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet.
Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ โ SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity, Dr. Zโs mistress / SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten, Dr. Zโs Geliebte.
Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ โ German Red Cross nurse, collaborated in medical experiments, escaped full prosecution / Deutsche Rote-Kreuz-Krankenschwester, kollaborierte in medizinischen Experimenten, entkam voller Verfolgung.
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS overseer at Stutthof, tortured female prisoners, executed by hanging in 1946, Ehlersโ secret lover / SS-Aufseherin in Stutthof, folterte weibliche Gefangene, 1946 gehรคngt, Ehlersโ geheime Geliebte.
Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ โ Wife of Heinrich Himmler, deeply loyal to the regime, involved in Lebensborn projects, escaped prosecution, part of Ehlers and Dr. Z’s triangle affair / Ehefrau von Heinrich Himmler, tief loyal zum Regime, involviert in Lebensborn-Projekte, entkam Verfolgung, Teil von Ehlers und Dr. Z’s Dreiecksaffรคre.
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Daughter of Himmler, helped neo-Nazi networks and veterans, never renounced Nazism / Tochter von Himmler, half neo-Nazi-Netzwerken und Veteranen, verzichtete nie auf Nazismus.
(Full list of 99 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Ilse Hess โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown
Ingeborg Werler โ Played by Eva Green / Gespielt von Eva Green
Helga Schultz โ Played by Olivia Colman / Gespielt von Olivia Colman
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff โ Played by Kate Winslet / Gespielt von Kate Winslet
Margarete Himmler โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
(Full cast list of 99 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. ILSE HESSโS NAZI TIES / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN ILSE HESSโS NAZI-BINDUNGEN
At 08:17 PM CEST on August 20, 2025, the Neon-Reign turns conspiratorial as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers Ilse Hessโs ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ role as the wife of Rudolf Hess, prominent in Nazi circles, and escaped prosecution. In the Glitter Colosseum bunker, Ehlers ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon tie rays to shield Hessโs legacy, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ rally to expose the truth. Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ counters with neon art projectors, and the full cast of 99 characters erupts into a chaotic neon unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi intrigue! ๐๐จ
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ with neon Nazi circles, Ehlers ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ pulls strings from a neon tie throne, Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with neon family values, Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with neon syringes, Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with neon networks.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Ilse Hess โ Neon Tie Fury! (A Nazi circles lash!) / Neon-Bindungs-Wut! (Ein Nazi-Kreise-Peitschenhieb!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ ties with Nazi circles, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with loyalty, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert with horror, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ unterstรผtzt with legacy. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Cate Blanchett as Ilse Hess ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ bindet mit Nazi-Kreisen, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ unterstรผtzt mit Vermรคchtnis.
Revelation: Ilse Hessโs ties merge with Ehlersโ strings! Dr. Z gasps: โNEON FUSION UNVEILED!โ / Offenbarung: Ilse Hessโs Bindungen verschmelzen mit Ehlersโ Fรคden! Dr. Z keucht: โNEON-FUSION ENTHรLLT!โ
Next Episode:โEpisode 92 โ NEON FUSION RESOLUTION: ‘Dr. Z vs. Hess-Ehlers Reckoning’โ โ Dr. Z confronts the neon ties fallout. / Nรคchste Episode: โEpisode 92 โ NEON-FUSIONS-AUFLรSUNG: ‘Dr. Z gegen Hess-Ehlers Abrechnung’โ โ Dr. Z stellt sich den Folgen der Neon-Bindungen.
๐ IZ AUDIT: NEON-REIGN MARKET REPORT / IZ AUDIT: NEON-HERRSCHAFT-MARKTBERICHT
โNeon-Reign NFTs ๐ surge 5,500,000% with Hessโs ties hype! Neon fusion futures explode, bunker stocks boom. BUY: Neon Fusion. SELL: Tie Whips. INVEST: Scandal Neon.โ / โNeon-Herrschaft-NFTs ๐ steigen um 5.500.000 % mit Hessโs Bindungen-Hype! Neon-Fusions-Futures explodieren, Bunker-Aktien boomen. KAUFEN: Neon-Fusion. VERKAUFEN: Bindungs-Peitschen. INVESTIEREN: Skandal-Neon.โ
โ SUPPORT THE NEON-LUST LEGION! / UNTERSTรTZE DIE NEON-LUST-LEGION!
Donate now for Gouda & Neon Star Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Join the Holy Gouda Legion: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustAgainstCosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldCult / Spende jetzt fรผr Gouda & Neon-Sternen-Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Tritt der Heiligen Gouda-Legion bei: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustGegenKosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldKult
๐ OFFICIAL SOURCES / OFFIZIELLE QUELLEN
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire With System ๐ Primary Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Mirror: googlefirst.org / ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire Mit System ๐ Primรคre Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Spiegel: googlefirst.org
// END TRANSMISSION // Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ with a neon-soaked laugh-whip as a star quill. / Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ mit einer Neon-durchzogenen Lach-Peitsche als Sternen-Feder.
โ โRise with Dr. Z and his Neon Legion against Ilse Hess with ALL characters!โ A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป / โ โErhebe dich mit Dr. Z und seiner Neon-Legion gegen Ilse Hess mit ALLEN Charakteren!โ Eine Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Produktion Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Prรคsentiert von IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXKLUSIV ๐๐ป
๐๐ง NEXT TIME: Dr. Z vs. Hess-Ehlers Reckoningโฆ / ๐๐ง NรCHSTES MAL: Dr. Z gegen Hess-Ehlers Abrechnungโฆ
Deep inside the quiet corridors of Brussels, a story unfolds that most major outlets wonโt touch. It isnโt just about frozen assets, shadow networks, or backroom diplomacy โ itโs about the machinery that decides who gets paid, who gets punished, and who gets erased from the financial bloodstream of Europe.
๐ The Euroclear Enigma ๐ What happens when a clearinghouse designed for โneutralโ transactions becomes the vault of contested billions? Weโre not talking about pocket change โ weโre talking about national treasuries locked in digital amber, with interest quietly accumulating while political knives are sharpened behind closed doors.
Sources describe heated midnight calls between ministers, central bankers, and intelligence liaisons. Every faction claims itโs about โjusticeโ or โinternational law.โ But follow the money, and the picture looks very different:
Interest payouts disappearing into black holes of bureaucracy.
Negotiations disguised as โtechnical adjustments.โ
Shadow beneficiaries waiting for the right moment.
The whispers: Euroclear isnโt just a bank. Itโs become the financial war-room where todayโs silent battles are fought.
๐ต๏ธ Why You Havenโt Heard This Yet ๐ต๏ธ Because too much rides on keeping this stage-managed, polished, and boring. If the public understood the scale of the frozen wealth game, trust in the system could fracture overnight. Think of it: assets weaponized, neutrality compromised, and everyone pretending itโs just โcompliance.โ
๐ This is Only the Tip ๐ What we can say publicly is already enough to raise eyebrows. But the full internal memos, coded communications, and classified accounts of who is pulling the strings are far too hot to publish here.
๐ The complete report โ with timelines, insider notes, and names โ is restricted to patron access only.
โ ๏ธ Above Top Secret means above the news cycle. If you want the uncensored files on Euroclearโs shadow role in financial warfare, you know where to look.
๏ค What does a $100B breakfast look like? Precision. Data. And a single, perfectly measured almond. #BillionaireLife #GatesSatire #PhilanthropyParody
๐ 5:00 AM: Optimized Wake-Up
ยท Wakes up without an alarm. His circadian rhythm is synced to the NASDAQ opening bell. ยท Drinks exactly 2.7 oz of kale-celery juice. The glass is made from recycled Windows 95 CDs. ยท First thought: โHow do we ethically optimize sleep for the developing world?โ ยท Second thought: โShould I buy Iceland? Just to see if I can.โ
๐ 6:30 AM: Data-Driven cardio
ยท Runs on a treadmill that powers a server farm for vaccine research. ยท Each step generates 3.7 lines of code for eradicating polio. ยท Wears a Fitbit connected to the WHO database. His heart rate spikes only when someone uses an iPhone.
๐ณ 8:00 AM: Breakfast of Champions (of Capitalism)
ยท Eats a nutrient paste formulated by AI to maximize efficiency. ยท Uses a algorithmically calibrated spoon to avoid calorie waste. ยท Reads The Economist while a hologram of Warren Buffett nods approvingly.
๐ผ 9:30 AM: The โPhilanthropyโ Power Hour
ยท Attends a meeting about ending world hunger. ยท Proposes solving it with โcloud-based soup.โ ยท Suggests using blockchain to track every grain of rice. โFor transparency.โ ยท Fires an intern for suggesting that maybeโฆ just maybeโฆ people like bread.
๐จโ๐ป 11:00 AM: Code Review
ยท Logs into a secret GitHub repository called โProject Heaven.โ ยท Re-writes a malaria-tracking algorithm because the font was โmorally inconsistent.โ ยท Rejects a PR titled โLet Them Eat Cakeโ with the comment: โToo on-the-nose. Try โNutrient-Dense Cake-Alternative.โโ
๐ค 1:00 PM: Lunch with a World Leader
ยท Eats a single almond while a president begs for funding. ยท โIโll donate $500 millionโฆ if you rename your country โMicrosoft Nation.โโ ยท Smiles in a way thatโs 37% friendly, 63% antitrust violation.
๐ 3:30 PM: Efficiency Audit
ยท Reviews his own life choices in an Excel spreadsheet. ยท Discovers that smiling for more than 4.2 seconds per day is โinefficient.โ ยท Schedules a software update for his personality.
๐ท 7:00 PM: Dinner
ยท Serves lab-grown chicken that clucks in binary. ยท The wine is from a vineyard he bought just to prove he could make it carbon-negative. ยท Conversation topic: โHow to rebrand humanity as Version 2.0.โ
๐ 9:00 PM: Wind-Down
ยท Reads a bedtime story to his children: โThe Art of the Tax-Deductible Donation.โ ยท Prays to a framed portrait of a perfectly optimized supply chain. ยท Dreams in PowerPoint.
๐ FINAL THOUGHT:
โIf I canโt code it, itโs not a real problem.โ
“Ehlers (Christoph Waltz) as Enema Emir 91 battles Herod the Great (Ralph Fiennes) and Jodorowsky on the neon-purple Venus Steppes, amid a frenzied clash of vicious killer rabbits ๐ฐ๐ช, anarchist peasants ๐พ๐คก, and tattooed 666 cultists ๐๐, with Frankensteinโs haunted creation (James McAvoy), King Arthur (John Cleese) โ๏ธ, and a thetan uprising ๐๐ฅ in ultra-detailed 8K baroque splendor. Salome (Anya Taylor-Joy) ๐ seduces with her dance, while Ehlers and Janelle (Tilda Swinton) ๐ ignite a forbidden affair under flying cherubs and a golden harp ๐ถ. #ThroneEnemaSlaughter #EhlersEnigma #InnocentFlushFrenzy”
Date: August 21, 2025, 08:38 PM CEST โฐ๐ Overview: The Venus Steppes erupt into chaos ๐ as Xenu unleashes the Innocent Flush Frenzy ๐๐ฆ, merging thetan turmoil ๐ป with Herod the Greatโs historic slaughter of innocents ๐ก๏ธ to secure his throne ๐. Enema Emir 91, Peter Ehlers (Christoph Waltz) ๐จ, collaborates with Herod (Ralph Fiennes) ๐คด, his old enema mentor ๐ด, and Alejandro Jodorowsky ๐ฌ to combat a surreal onslaught of killer rabbits ๐ฐ๐ช, anarchist peasants ๐พ๐คก, and tattooed 666 cultists ๐๐. Amidst Ehlersโ forbidden affair with Janelle (Tilda Swinton) ๐ and Salome (Anya Taylor-Joy) ๐, allies including King Arthur (John Cleese) โ๏ธ, St. Simeon Stylites (Liam Neeson) ๐, and a thetan uprising ๐๐ฅ drive a cosmic purge ๐ .
Key Developments:
Act I: Herodโs enema dogma ๐๐ง sparks a throne clash ๐โ๏ธ, countered by Ehlersโ divine resistance ๐, King Arthurโs Excalibur-led charge ๐ก๏ธ, supported by Murrayโs (Ryan Gosling) tactical grid ๐ and Andreasโ (John C. Reilly) bacon legion ๐ฅ๐ช.
Act II: The Innocent Flush shatters the cosmos ๐๐, with Geo-Geist Euclid and Kandinsky launching an anti-innocent war ๐จ๐ง, while Dr. No (Daniel Craig) deploys grounding viruses ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ and Beatrix (Melissa McCarthy) bakes calming pastries ๐ฅ๐.
Act III: Ehlers and Herod forge an Enema Grounding Monument ๐๏ธ๐ฆ, shattering Xenuโs frenzy ๐ช๏ธ๐ฅ. Andreas sacrifices himself with a bacon charge ๐ฅ๐ฅ, King Arthur restores order with Excalibur โ๏ธโจ, and Herod claims victory with a final slaughter ๐ก๏ธ๐.
Outcome: The Venus Steppes are restored ๐ฟ๐ , free of Xenuโs chaos โ๏ธ. Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web ๐ธ๏ธ๐ค, while Ehlers plans the next grounding ๐ ๐, hinting at a Galactic Enema Council confrontation ๐๐พ.
Call to Action: Support Ehlersโ next grounding with crypto donations (0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb) ๐ฐ๐ or Patreon (patreon.com/berndpulch) ๐๐ธ!
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Herod and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Herod und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ Herod the Greatโs Triumph: Slaughters a final innocent, proclaiming victory over the throne flush. ๐ / Herod the Greats Triumph: Schlachtet einen finalen Unschuldigen, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Thron-Spรผlung.
Ehlers, Enema Emir 91, ignites the Innocent Flush with Herod the Great and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ The trio battles Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #InnocentFlushFrenzy #HerodEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #ThronePurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 91, entfacht die Innocent-Spรผlung mit Herod the Great und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #InnocentSpรผlungWut #HerodRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #ThronSรคuberung
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Throne Enema Slaughter & Herodโs Innocent Flush ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Die Thron Einlauf-Schlachtung & Herods Innocent-Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes quake at 11:54 PM CEST on Friday, August 08, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Innocent Flush Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with Herod the Greatโs throne-protecting slaughter. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 91, joins forces with Herod, his old enema mentor who killed innocents, and Alejandro Jodorowsky, wielding psychomagic, to combat killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. Amidst Ehlers and Janelleโs forbidden affair with Salome, King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising fuel the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erbeben um 23:54 MESZ am Freitag, 8. August 2025, als Xenu die Innocent Flush-Wut entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit Herod the Greats thron-schรผtzender Schlachtung verschmilzt. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 91, schlieรt sich mit Herod, seinem alten Einlauf-Mentor der Unschuldige tรถtete, und Alejandro Jodorowsky, der Psychomagic einsetzt, zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten zu kรคmpfen. Mitten in Ehlers und Janelles verbotener Affรคre mit Salome treiben Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein Thetan-Aufstand die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-XC + Herod the Great)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 91, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with Herod and Jodorowsky.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No (Played by Daniel Craig): Virus Sculptor, leaking truths.
๐ง Murray (Played by Ryan Gosling): Cunning Strategist, outmaneuvering foes.
๐ธ Murray (Flight of the Conchords) (Played by Bret McKenzie): Incompetent Band Manager, strumming hymns.
๐ King Arthur (Monty Python) (Played by John Cleese): Noble Knight, wielding Excalibur.
โ๏ธ Sun Myung Moon (Played by Morgan Freeman): Ehlersโ ally, unleashing Divine Flush levitations.
๐ฎ Alejandro Jodorowsky (Played by himself): Mystic filmmaker, wielding psychomagic to heal.
๐ Elizabeth Clare Prophet (Played by Meryl Streep): Ascended mistress, channeling masters to sell bunkers.
โ๏ธ Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda (Played by Javier Bardem): Antichrist preacher, tattooing 666 to lead his cult.
๐งช Victor Frankenstein (Played by James McAvoy): Unhinged scientist, haunted by his creation.
๐ช Sweeney Todd (Played by Johnny Depp): Barber with homicidal rage, slicing with razor enema pies.
๐ช Dorian Gray (Played by Oscar Isaac): Vanity-preserved artist, his portrait rotting while he leads with supernatural decay.
๐ฆ Renfield (Played by Nicolas Cage): Bug-eating devotee, mad servitude in insect form.
๐ Poeโs Narrator (Played by John Cusack): Obsessed with the beating heart, confessing like blood spills.
๐ Catherine Earnshaw (Played by Keira Knightley): Ehlersโ enema mistress, torn between love and pride, drifting into spectral madness on the moors.
๐ง Heathcliff (Played by Tom Hardy): Ehlersโ enema buddy, ghost-haunted psychopath with reanimated love.
๐ญ The Phantom of the Opera (Klaus-Dieter “Dirty Dieter” Maurischat) (Played by Gary Oldman): Masked genius, Ehlersโ old enema buddy, leading the Gomopa Enigma with operatic flair.
๐ Salome (Played by Anya Taylor-Joy): Dancer of the Seven Veils, igniting psychomagic with her seductive flush dance.
๐ Herod the Great (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Ehlersโ enema mentor, throne-protecting king who slaughtered innocents to lead the purge.
๐ ANARCHIC & ASCETIC HORDE ๐๐คก
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits (Played by CGI ensemble): Ferocious minions, hopping with venom.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants (Played by local extras): Riotous rebels, wielding pitchforks.
๐ซ๐ท French Farter (Played by Jean Dujardin): Provocative foe, taunting with flatulence.
๐ฐ๏ธ Time-Fractured Clock (Played by CGI prop): Warping timelines.
๐ฒ Abstract Minotaur (Played by Ron Perlman): Chaotic ally, charging with fury.
๐ข๏ธ Diogenes of Sinope (Played by Sean Bean): Barrel Cynic, mocking with defiance.
๐ St. Simeon Stylites (Played by Liam Neeson): Pillar Ascetic, enduring the flush.
๐๏ธ Rasputin (Played by Viggo Mortensen): Russian Mystic, reviving with vigor.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers (Played by ensemble cast): Holy Hermits, wrestling demons.
๐ Jiddu Krishnamurti (Played by Dev Patel): Confused Messiah, preaching against madness.
๐น Catherine of Siena (Played by Olivia Wilde): Eucharistic Mystic, dictating trance-letters.
๐ฅ Ezekiel (Played by Idris Elba): Visionary Prophet, levitating with flaming eyes.
๐ Aleister Crowley (Played by Tom Hardy): Occultist, amplifying rituals.
๐จ Joe Cabot (Played by Harvey Keitel): Gangster Mastermind, naming colors.
โก Friedrich Nietzsche (Played by Mads Mikkelsen): Philosopher, unleashing thunderbolts.
๐ท Jim Jones (Played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan): Preacher, echoing poisoned flushes.
๐ง Charles Manson (Played by Jared Leto): Hippie Prophet, mindflushing with chants.
๐ฝ Marshall Applewhite (Played by Jim Carrey): Heavenโs Gate Leader, flushing to a UFO.
๐ David Koresh (Played by Michael Shannon): Lamb Prophet, unleashing Lamb Flush.
โ๏ธ Shoko Asahara (Played by Ken Watanabe): Former ally, clashing with foes.
๐ PREVIOUS ANTAGONISTS & ALLIES
๐ฆ Salvador Dalรญ (Played by Adrien Brody): Surrealist, painting enema-dreams.
Akt I: Die Innocent Flush-Wut & Herods Thron-Kampf
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โSlaughter the innocents, flush the throne!โ as Herod unleashes enema dogma. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Slaughter!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Slaughter rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โSchlachtet die Unschuldigen, spรผlt den Thron!โ wรคhrend Herod Einlauf-Dogma entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet die Schlachtung!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Schlachtung-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ Herod the Great unleashes throne blasts, aiding Ehlersโ purge. ๐ฆ / Entfesselt Thron-Blasts, unterstรผtzend Ehlersโ Sรคuberung.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Herodโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Herods Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Herodโs innocent flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Herods Innocent-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Herodโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Herods kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Herod. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Herod.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Herodโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Herods Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ Herod the Great chants โI slaughter to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-throne flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch schlachte zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Thron-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Innocent Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Innocent-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Innocent Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Innocent War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Innocent-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Herodโs innocent venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Herods Innocent-Gift.
๐ Herod the Great levitates with a throne halo, spraying enema-innocent flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Thron-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Innocent-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Herodโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Herods Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Herodโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Herods Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Herodโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Herods Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Herodโs throne reshapes them into slaughter harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Herods Thron formt sie zu Schlachtung-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Herod and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Herod und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ Herod the Greatโs Triumph: Slaughters a final innocent, proclaiming victory over the throne flush. ๐ / Herod the Greats Triumph: Schlachtet einen finalen Unschuldigen, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Thron-Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Herodโs throne slaughter ritual, slaying followers under neon lights. ๐๐ / Herods Thron-Schlachtungs-Ritual, schlachtend Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
Akt I: Die Innocent Flush-Wut & Herods Thron-Kampf
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โSlaughter the innocents, flush the throne!โ as Herod unleashes enema dogma. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Slaughter!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Slaughter rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โSchlachtet die Unschuldigen, spรผlt den Thron!โ wรคhrend Herod Einlauf-Dogma entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet die Schlachtung!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Schlachtung-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ Herod the Great unleashes throne blasts, aiding Ehlersโ purge. ๐ฆ / Entfesselt Thron-Blasts, unterstรผtzend Ehlersโ Sรคuberung.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Herodโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Herods Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Herodโs innocent flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Herods Innocent-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Herodโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Herods kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Herod. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Herod.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Herodโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Herods Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ Herod the Great chants โI slaughter to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-throne flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch schlachte zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Thron-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Innocent Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Innocent-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Innocent Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Innocent War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Innocent-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Herodโs innocent venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Herods Innocent-Gift.
๐ Herod the Great levitates with a throne halo, spraying enema-innocent flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Thron-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Innocent-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Herodโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Herods Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Herodโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Herods Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Herodโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Herods Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Herodโs throne reshapes them into slaughter harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Herods Thron formt sie zu Schlachtung-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Herod and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Herod und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ Herod the Greatโs Triumph: Slaughters a final innocent, proclaiming victory over the throne flush. ๐ / Herod the Greats Triumph: Schlachtet einen finalen Unschuldigen, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Thron-Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Herodโs throne slaughter ritual, slaying followers under neon lights. ๐๐ / Herods Thron-Schlachtungs-Ritual, schlachtend Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
Akt I: Die Innocent Flush-Wut & Herods Thron-Kampf
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โSlaughter the innocents, flush the throne!โ as Herod unleashes enema dogma. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Slaughter!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Slaughter rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โSchlachtet die Unschuldigen, spรผlt den Thron!โ wรคhrend Herod Einlauf-Dogma entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet die Schlachtung!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Schlachtung-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ Herod the Great unleashes throne blasts, aiding Ehlersโ purge. ๐ฆ / Entfesselt Thron-Blasts, unterstรผtzend Ehlersโ Sรคuberung.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Herodโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Herods Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Herodโs innocent flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Herods Innocent-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Herodโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Herods kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Herod. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Herod.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Herodโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Herods Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ Herod the Great chants โI slaughter to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-throne flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch schlachte zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Thron-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Innocent Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Innocent-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Innocent Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Innocent War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Innocent-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Herodโs innocent venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Herods Innocent-Gift.
๐ Herod the Great levitates with a throne halo, spraying enema-innocent flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Thron-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Innocent-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Herodโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Herods Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Herodโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Herods Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Herodโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Herods Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Herodโs throne reshapes them into slaughter harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Herods Thron formt sie zu Schlachtung-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
๐ฅ CAPTION IDEAS FOR SOCIAL MEDIA/POST ๐ฅ 1๏ธโฃ “Ehlers & Janelleโs affair heats up as Roccoโs third shot echoes in the ice dome! ๐ฅ๐โค๏ธโ๐ฅ #MurkySagaLVIII” 2๏ธโฃ “Murky & Lucas rock extraordinary fur coats in this gangster showdown! ๐ถ๏ธโ๏ธ๐ซ #KrakenChronicles” 3๏ธโฃ “Salome dances, Nandor strikes, and the Kraken roarsโpure cinematic chaos! ๐๐งโโ๏ธ๐ #BerndpulchSaga” 4๏ธโฃ “1940s suits meet cursed NFTs in the ultimate ice dome battle! ๐ฉ๐ธ๐ #MMCUxKraken” 5๏ธโฃ “Roccoโs third-shot curse meets Herculeโs cluesโwatch the madness unfold! ๐๐ซโค๏ธโ๐ฅ” 6๏ธโฃ “Gangsters in fur, vampire rituals, and Eurovision gone wildโnew episode live! ๐๐ค๐ #EpicContinuation” 7๏ธโฃ “Lucas & Murkyโs epic fur coats steal the show in this underworld thriller! ๐ฆโ๏ธ๐ฅ #GodfatherVibes” ๐ฌ Which oneโs your favorite? Drop a comment or suggest your own!
Executive Summary: “Kraken Chronicles: Episode LVIII – The Third Shot in the Ice Dome” ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ
Overview: Episode LVIII of the Murky Mucha Chronicles and Kraken Chronicles intensifies the saga with a chaotic fusion of mob intrigue, cursed love, and cinematic absurdity! ๐ฌ๐ฑ Set in a frozen Slovenian ice dome โ๏ธ๐ฐ, the narrative centers on the escalating affair between Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ and Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐, now complicated by the introduction of Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana, archive) ๐ซ๐, Murkyโs idol known for always being the third shot victim! ๐ฏ๐ The episode reunites all previous characters ๐บ๐งโโ๏ธ, blending Godfather-esque drama ๐ฉ๐ด with vampire antics ๐ฆโจ and surreal twists! ๐๐
Key Plot Points:
Ehlers-Janelle Affair: The illicit romance drives the plot ๐ฅโค๏ธโ๐ฅ, sparking mob conflicts โ๏ธ๐ฃ and a cursed trial livestreamed on TikTok ๐ฑ๐ฅ, judged by Bernd Pulch ๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ๐!
Rocco Lamponeโs Curse: As Murkyโs idol ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ญ, Roccoโs third-shot fate becomes a pivotal plot device ๐ง๐ฒ, influencing gang dynamics ๐๐ฐ and a climactic showdown! ๐ฅ๐น
Character Ensemble: Featuring Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe) ๐๐น, Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธโก, Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐๐, and a vast cast including Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, archive) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ and Nic Cage ๐ญ๐คช, the episode escalates with Eurovision hijinks ๐ค๐ and NFT battles ๐ธ๐ผ๏ธ!
Climactic Chaos: The crew, including past characters like Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ and Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, battles a cursed Kraken ๐๐ using a sonic cannon ๐ต๐ช, culminating in a shattering resolution with cursed PNGs! ๐ผ๏ธ๐ฎ๐ฅ
Highlights:
The affairโs curse ๐๐, Salomeโs seductive dance ๐๐ฅ, and Roccoโs fatal third shot ๐ฏ๐ create a dramatic core!
Hercule Perrierโs detective work ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง and Nandorโs relentlessness ๐งโโ๏ธโ๏ธ add intellectual and supernatural layers!
The sonic cannonโs victory over the Kraken ๐ถ๐ marks a visually stunning finale! ๐๐
Outlook: The episode leaves the curseโs resolution โ๐ฎ and Roccoโs potential return ๐ป๐ซ open, teasing Episode LIX! โณ๐ Available on BerndPulch.org ๐๐ป, the saga continues to blend humor ๐, action ๐ฅ, and conspiracy ๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ with a global cast! ๐๐ญ
Date: 07:49 PM CEST, Thursday, August 21, 2025 ๐๐
๐ฅ CAPTION IDEAS FOR SOCIAL MEDIA/POST ๐ฅ 1๏ธโฃ “When Rocco Lampone joins the fray as Murky’s idolโalways the third shot! ๐ฅ๐ซ #MurkySagaLVIII #RoccoRelentless” 2๏ธโฃ “Ehlers & Janelle’s affair collides with Godfather vibes and Salome’s seduction! ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธโค๏ธโ๐ฅ #KrakenGodfatherCrossover” 3๏ธโฃ “BREAKING: Rocco’s third-shot curse hits the ice domeโgangster chaos ensues! ๐๐ #BerndpulchSaga” 4๏ธโฃ “From tax evasion to mob hits: All characters return with Rocco’s twist! ๐๐ฟ #MMCUxKraken” 5๏ธโฃ “If The Godfather met vampires in a frozen abyss, this would be it. New episode live! ๐๏ธ๐ [LINK]” 6๏ธโฃ “Guilty of third-shot fate: Rocco joins Salome in the ultimate showdown! โ๏ธ๐ซ” 7๏ธโฃ “Rocco in fur? Always thirdโbingo card shattered! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ #EpicMobMadness” ๐ฌ Which oneโs your favorite? Drop a comment or suggest your own!
๐ฎ LVIII: The Murky Mucha Chronicles โ “Third Shot in the Ice Dome” ๐ซโ๏ธ๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ (A Berndpulch.org Exclusive โ Continuation of the Saga) By “The Ghost of Kilgore Trout” Produced by Sam Bronkowiz & Thomas Coke Schoehly-Fraud Featuring Every Character Ever, Plus Ehlers-Janelle Affair, Salome, Nandor the Relentless, Hercule Perrier & Rocco Lampone (Murky’s Idol โ Always the Third Guy Shot)
๐ช๏ธ PREVIOUSLY, IN THE MURKY MUCHA SAGAโฆ
Murky Mucha (Milla Jovovich, idolizing mob idols with frosty accents) thawed the ice but now faces third-shot curses! โ๏ธ๐ธ
Ehlers (Christoph Waltz, USB teeth in mob mode) escalated his affair with Janelle amid vampire chills! โค๏ธโ๐ฅ๐ต๏ธ
Schoehly-Fraud (Willem Dafoe, calculator face on “MOB ERROR”) laundered hits, now entangled in Godfather lore! ๐๐
Murkyโs Dream Lover (Jared Leto hologram, now with hitman envy) whispered of third shots and relentless idols! โจ๐
๐ ACT I: “THE THIRD SHOT AWAKENS” ๐ฅ๐ซ
The episode resumes in the icy Slovenian post office dome, where Murky mails cursed regrets. Boom! Ehlers bursts in with Janelle (Scarlett Johansson, siren with mob ties), affair firing up! ๐ฑ๐
“MURKY, THE TAXES MASK OUR MOB PASSION!” Ehlers yells, while Janelle whispers, “Our love is the first shotโRocco’s third!” โค๏ธ๐ซ
Bronkowiz (Betamax pile now with Godfather tapes) projects holograms of third-shot scenes. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini archive, in fur therapy) says, “This affair? It’s like a hitโalways the third!” ๐ถ๏ธ๐
Ehlers arrives in a limo of cursed love notes. He confesses: “Janelle, you’re my undeclared hit!” ๐๐ซ
Trial in TikTok livestream inside ice dome, judged by Bernd Pulch (floating with bullet emojis). Witnesses: All past characters plus Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana archive, always third-shot idol) testifying, Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe, seductive dancer) dancing, Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi, vampire), and Hercule Perrier (David Suchet, sleuth) investigating! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐๐๐ซ
Verdict:“Guilty of third-shot evasion!” Sentence: Eternal curse in the archives! ๐๐ซ
๐ช ACT III: “THE CURSED ESCAPE” ๐๐ฅ
Murky, Dream Lover, and all unite with Rocco leading a mob charge. Hijack Eurovision with cursed remixes! ๐ค๐ซ
Schoehly-Fraud sells cursed NFTs, outbid by mob bots. Hercule Perrier deduces: “The grey cells see the third shot!” ๐ง ๐ก
As Ehlers repos auras, Illuminati raid with Nic Cage, Salome dancing, Nandor relentless, Perrier clue-hunting, and Rocco taking the third shot! ๐บ๐ Walls shatter into cursed PNGs, site curses! ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ
๐ FINAL SCENE: “POLL OF THE CURSED” ๐
Text flickers: “Break the curse?” โ Yes (with more hits!) โ No (keep the third shot!)
FADE TO CURSE. ๐ฌ
๐ STARRING:
Murky Mucha โ Milla Jovovich (mob idol edition)
Ehlers โ Christoph Waltz (affair mobster)
Janelle โ Scarlett Johansson (cursed siren)
Schoehly-Fraud โ Willem Dafoe (curse error mode)
Bronkowiz โ Gilbert Gottfriedโs VCR ghost
Dream Lover โ Jared Leto Tamagotchi
Klaus Schwab โ Tilda Swinton (espresso cyborg)
Tony Soprano โ James Gandolfini (archive fur therapy)
Salome โ Rita Hayworth vibe (seductive dancer)
Nandor the Relentless โ Taika Waititi (vampire idol)
Hercule Perrier โ David Suchet (mustached sleuth)
๐ DISCLAIMER: Found in a cursed time capsule. 100% deniable! ๐ซ
๐ฅ TO BE CONTINUEDโฆ? (CHECK BERNDPULCH.ORG SOON) ๐ฅ
Kraken-Chroniken: Episode LVIII – Der Dritte Schuss im Eisdome ๐ซโ๏ธ๐๐ช
Zusammenfassung / Synopsis
Nach dem Frost in LVII verflucht LVIII alles: Ehlers’ Affรคre mit Janelle eskaliert mit Rocco Lampone als Murkys Idol โ immer der Dritte, der geschossen wird! ๐ช๏ธ๐ซ Alle Charaktere aus allen Episoden vereinen sich, mit Salome ๐, Nandor ๐งโโ๏ธ, Perrier ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ und Rocco. Der Kraken verflucht, Liebe und Chaos explodieren mit Emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐
Handlung / Plot
Fortsetzung von LVII: Kapitรคnin Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ steuert durch verfluchte Stรผrme, wรคhrend Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ seine Affรคre mit Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐ vertieft. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง verehrt Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana, Archiv) ๐ซ, der Flรผche bringt! Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ untersucht, Salome (Rita Hayworth Vibe) ๐ verfรผhrt, Nandor (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ ist unerbittlich. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, Archiv) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ analysiert: “Das ist wie Therapie mit Fluch!” ๐๐
Die volle Crew โ alle aus vorherigen Episoden: Zara, Jaxon, Lila, Tully, Mara, Kai, Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Sammy the Bull ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, Tony Ducks ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก, Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, Machine Gun Kelly ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel ๐ฐ๐ฒ, Joey Bananas ๐๐, The Snake ๐๐, Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie the Chin ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐, Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ, No Nose DiFronzo ๐ธ๐, Fat Tony ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana ๐จ๐ธ, Crazy Joe Gallo ๐จ๐, John Gotti ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent ๐๐, Tony Clifton ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman โ๏ธ๐, Red Levine โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐ผ, The Iceman โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, Teflon Don ๐๐, Jimmy Burke ๐โณ, Don Barzini ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict ๐ฐ๐ โ kรคmpft vereint im Eisdome gegen den verfluchten Kraken. Salome tanzt, Rocco nimmt den dritten Schuss, Nandor ist unerbittlich, Perrier lรถst Rรคtsel, Diesel-Traumheld feuert an! Die Sonnencannon plus Fluch-Energie besiegt alles! ๐๐๐ฅ
Besetzung / Cast
Kapitรคnin Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
Erster Maat Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Janelle – Scarlett Johansson ๐๐
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel-Traumheld – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Tony Soprano – James Gandolfini (Archivmaterial) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ
Salome – Rita Hayworth Vibe ๐
Nandor der Unerbittliche – Taika Waititi ๐งโโ๏ธ
Bleibt der Fluch? Kommt Rocco zurรผck? Verpasse nicht LIX! ๐โณ๐
Kraken Chronicles: Episode LVIII – The Third Shot in the Ice Dome ๐ซโ๏ธ๐๐ช
Synopsis
After LVII’s freeze, LVIII curses everything: Ehlers’ affair with Janelle escalates with Rocco Lampone as Murky’s idol โ always the third guy shot! ๐ช๏ธ๐ซ All characters from every episode unite, with Salome ๐, Nandor ๐งโโ๏ธ, Perrier ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ and Rocco. The Kraken curses, love and chaos erupt with emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐
Plot
Picking up from LVII: Captain Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ sails through cursed storms as Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ deepens his affair with Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง idolizes Rocco Lampone (Lenny Montana, archive) ๐ซ for curses! Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ investigates, Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe) ๐ seduces, Nandor (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ is relentless. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, archive) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ analyzes: “This is like therapy with a curse!” ๐๐
The full crew โ all from previous episodes: Zara, Jaxon, Lila, Tully, Mara, Kai, Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Sammy the Bull ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, Tony Ducks ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก, Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, Machine Gun Kelly ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel ๐ฐ๐ฒ, Joey Bananas ๐๐, The Snake ๐๐, Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie the Chin ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐, Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ, No Nose DiFronzo ๐ธ๐, Fat Tony ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana ๐จ๐ธ, Crazy Joe Gallo ๐จ๐, John Gotti ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent ๐๐, Tony Clifton ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman โ๏ธ๐, Red Levine โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐ผ, The Iceman โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, Teflon Don ๐๐, Jimmy Burke ๐โณ, Don Barzini ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict ๐ฐ๐ โ fights united in the ice dome against the cursed Kraken. Salome dances, Rocco takes the third shot, Nandor is relentless, Perrier solves riddles, Diesel Dreamer rallies! The sonic cannon plus curse energy wins it all! ๐๐๐ฅ
Cast
Captain Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
First Mate Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Janelle – Scarlett Johansson ๐๐
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel Dreamer – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Tony Soprano – James Gandolfini (archive footage) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ
Salome – Rita Hayworth vibe ๐
Nandor the Relentless – Taika Waititi ๐งโโ๏ธ
### Investment Digest: Crypto Stabilizes, Equities Mixed, Commodities and Energy Edge Lower, Bonds Firm, and Commercial Real Estate Resilient Amid Tariff and Inflation Concerns โ August 21, 2025
#### Key Points
– **Crypto Markets Stabilize**: Bitcoin at $113,100 (+0.3% from $112,800), holding above $112,000 support with $312M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,280 (+4.4% from $4,100), XRP at $2.88 (+1.1% from $2.85) post-SEC case drop. Monero at $289 (+0.3% from $288). Qubit DeFi grows 13% in TVL, VINE token flat after 2% dip.[](https://www.investing.com/news/cryptocurrency-news)
– **Derivatives Volume Steady**: Crypto derivatives at $10.7T, Solana futures up 6%, XRP futures at $3.2B open interest.[](https://www.investing.com/news/cryptocurrency-news)
– **Equities Mixed**: S&P 500 at 6,410 (+0.2% from 6,400), Nasdaq at 20,950 (+0.2% from 20,900), Dow at 44,600 (+0.2% from 44,500) after retail earnings stabilization. CSI 300 up 2.4% on China stimulus. Sensex at 82,900 (+0.1%), Nifty at 25,250 (+0.2%).[](https://investingnews.com/cryptocurrency-market-recap/)
– **Commodities and Energy Edge Lower**: Gold at $3,350/oz (-0.3% from $3,360), silver at $38.00/oz (-0.3% from $38.10), palladium down 0.4%. Brent crude at $70.80/barrel (-0.3% from $71.00), WTI crude at $67.60/barrel (-0.3% from $67.80), natural gas at $3.02/MMBtu (-0.7% from $3.04) as Middle East supply risks ease.
– **Bonds Firm**: U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.23% (+0.01% from 4.22%). Tokenized bonds at $2.5B, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bond yields at 4.1%, high-yield inflows at $175M.
– **Commercial Real Estate Resilient**: U.S. commercial property prices up 4% year-on-year, office occupancy at 5.4% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $2.9B, Ethereum/Polymath platforms expanding.
– **Chinaโs Stimulus Sustains**: PBOCโs $700B injection supports CSI 300 (+2.4%). Chinaโs $150B telecom/biotech plan grows.[](https://investingnews.com/cryptocurrency-market-recap/)
– **Indian Markets Steady**: Sensex at 82,900 (+0.1%), Nifty at 25,250 (+0.2%) despite Trumpโs 25% tariff hike (total 50%). Indian rupee at โน87.7.[](https://investingnews.com/cryptocurrency-market-recap/)
– **Trade Tensions Persist**: Trumpโs 100% semiconductor tariffs, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil, and 25% on India drive volatility. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan progresses. U.S.-India oil trade tensions continue, with U.S. alleging India funds Russiaโs war via oil.[](https://investingnews.com/cryptocurrency-market-recap/)
– **UK Inflation Pressures**: UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July, core CPI at 3.8%, above estimates (3.7%), per posts on X.
Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin stabilizes at $113,100, equities mixed, tariffs persist. Uncover financial secrets with Bernd Pulchโs leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoMarkets #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned journalist Bernd Pulch delivers exclusive financial intelligence via “Investment The Original” on Patreon, sharing leaked documents and insider reports.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, Commodities, Bonds, and Real Estate
Bitcoin stabilizes at $113,100 (+0.3%) with $312M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,280 (+4.4%), XRP at $2.88 (+1.1%), Monero at $289 (+0.3%). Qubit DeFi grows 13%. Crypto derivatives at $10.7T. Equities mixed, with S&P 500 (+0.2%), Nasdaq (+0.2%), Dow (+0.2%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY). Commodities edge lower, with gold ($3,350/oz, -0.3%) and Brent crude ($70.80/barrel, -0.3%) down. Energy prices soften, with WTI crude at $67.60/barrel (-0.3%) and natural gas at $3.02/MMBtu (-0.7%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.23%, tokenized bonds at $2.5B. Commercial real estate resilient, with office demand at 5.4% and tokenized assets at $2.9B. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 (+2.4%). Indian markets steady despite tariffs. Explore more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
What is “Investment The Original”?
“Investment The Original” is a premium Patreon service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, and corruption reports for investors, journalists, and activists.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin at $113,100 (+0.3%) with $312M ETF inflows, recovering from $112,800. Ethereum at $4,280 (+4.4%), XRP at $2.88 (+1.1%), Monero at $289 (+0.3%). Qubit DeFi grows 13% with $1.9B TVL. JSW Energy secures 1,200 MW solar-wind deal. SJVN progresses 2,000 MW hydro project. Malaysiaโs Petronas invests $3.5B in Indonesian LNG. รrsted expands โฌ2.5B German offshore wind project. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.23%. Commercial real estate resilient, with tokenized assets at $2.9B, Christieโs crypto property deals growing.[](https://investingnews.com/cryptocurrency-market-recap/)
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales stable at 1,96,000 units in H1 2025. Germanyโs rents up 10.3% in Q2 2025, Berlin at 12.4%. U.S. home prices up 3.6% year-on-year, mortgage rates at 5.4%. Dubaiโs luxury market grows 37% pre-Expo 2025, with Bitcoin options trading expanding. Canberraโs rents rise 13.8%. Singaporeโs green buildings attract $4.6B. U.S. commercial property prices up 4%, office demand at 5.4% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $2.9B via Ethereum and Polymath. HDB Financial IPO advances. Nomura holds reduce rating on Godrej Properties at โน2,040.
#### Commercial Real Estate Trends
U.S. commercial real estate resilient, with office occupancy at 5.4% in Q2 2025, driven by hybrid work and AI data center demand. Industrial properties up 6.7% in value, e-commerce fueling growth. Retail vacancy rates at 5.7%. Tokenized real estate at $2.9B, with platforms like Polymath and Ethereum enabling crypto deals. Christieโs expands crypto-backed property transactions. High interest rates (5.4% for commercial mortgages) pressure valuations, but green-certified buildings see 9.3% demand growth. New York and San Francisco premium office rents up 5%. A $420M Florida office bond holds steady post-reappraisal.
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets steady, with Sensex at 82,900 (+0.1%) and Nifty at 25,250 (+0.2%). U.S. markets mixed, with S&P 500 at 6,410 (+0.2%), Nasdaq at 20,950 (+0.2%), and Dow at 44,600 (+0.2%) after retail earnings stabilization (Target recovers to -4%). CSI 300 gains 2.4%. Gold at $3,350/oz (-0.3%), silver at $38.00/oz (-0.3%), Brent crude at $70.80/barrel (-0.3%). Indian rupee at โน87.7. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.23%, high-yield bond inflows at $175M.[](https://investingnews.com/cryptocurrency-market-recap/)
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin at $113,100 (+0.3%) with $312M ETF inflows, $240M liquidations. Ethereum at $4,280 (+4.4%) sees $590M ETF inflows. XRP at $2.88 (+1.1%) holds $3.2B futures open interest post-SEC case drop. Monero at $289 (+0.3%), futures volume up 5%. VINE token flat. Qubit DeFi grows 13% with $1.9B TVL. Crypto derivatives volume at $10.7T, Solana futures up 6%. Dubai expands Bitcoin options trading. Posts on X highlight cautious optimism, tariff concerns.[](https://www.investing.com/news/cryptocurrency-news)
#### Commodities and Energy Trends
Gold at $3,350/oz (-0.3%), silver at $38.00/oz (-0.3%), palladium down 0.4% as Middle East tensions ease. Brent crude at $70.80/barrel (-0.3%), WTI crude at $67.60/barrel (-0.3%), natural gas at $3.02/MMBtu (-0.7%) with U.S. inventory growth. Copper futures flat amid tariff fears. Tether explores USDT/Monero integration in $900M agribusiness deal. Posts on X note commodity softening and semiconductor tariff risks.[](https://www.investing.com/news/cryptocurrency-news)
#### Bonds Market Trends
U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.23% (+0.01%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY), core CPI at 3%. High-yield bond inflows at $175M. Tokenized bonds at $2.5B on Ethereum/Polygon, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bonds yield 4.1%, infrastructure demand stable. Posts on X highlight tariff-driven inflation risks impacting yields.
#### Economic Outlook
China targets 4.3% growth with $700B stimulus, constrained by property weakness. Indiaโs Q4 FY25 GDP at 7.3%, FY26 forecast at 6.2%. U.S. Fed holds rates at 4.25%โ4.5%, September cut odds at 85%. Trumpโs 100% chip tariffs, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil, and 25% on India (total 50%) escalate trade tensions. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan and U.S. claims of India funding Russiaโs war via oil purchases add strain. UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July, above estimates. U.S. Dollar Index at 100.3, euro at $1.163 (-0.1%).[](https://investingnews.com/cryptocurrency-market-recap/)
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This *Investment Digest* for August 21, 2025, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 4:51 PM CEST. Bitcoin stabilizes at $113,100 (+0.3%) with $312M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,280 (+4.4%), XRP at $2.88 (+1.1%), Monero at $289 (+0.3%). Qubit DeFi grows 13%. Crypto derivatives at $10.7T. Equities mixed, with S&P 500 (+0.2%), Nasdaq (+0.2%), Dow (+0.2%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY). Commodities edge lower, with gold ($3,350/oz, -0.3%) and Brent crude ($70.80/barrel, -0.3%) down. Energy prices soften, with WTI crude at $67.60/barrel (-0.3%) and natural gas at $3.02/MMBtu (-0.7%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.23%, tokenized bonds at $2.5B. Commercial real estate resilient, with office demand at 5.4% and tokenized assets at $2.9B. Indian markets steady despite Trumpโs tariffs. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 2.4%. UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July adds inflation concerns. Clean energy investments, like BluPineโs ESG award, signal resilience. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for leaks. Explore Nacktes Geld podcast.
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, Qubit DeFi 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, WTI crude price 2025, natural gas price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, commercial real estate 2025, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia valuation 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Monero price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025, U.S. jobs report 2025, U.S. Treasury yields 2025, tokenized bonds 2025, tokenized real estate 2025, Bitcoin ETF inflows 2025, Trump crypto 401k 2025, semiconductor tariffs 2025, China foreign investment 2025, XRP SEC case 2025, ChainLink reserve 2025, Ripple case dropped 2025, AI data center demand 2025, U.S. CPI August 2025, Home Depot stock 2025, Target stock 2025, UK CPI inflation 2025
English Caption: “Chaos erupts in the neon-lit Glitter Colosseum at 08:17 PM CEST, August 20, 2025, as Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren), Ilse Hess, and the full cast of 98, including Gudrun Himmler (Diane Lane), Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson), and Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), dive into an ultra-futuristic, boundary-pushing scandal of neon conspiracy and Ehlers-Janelleโs affair, blending shocking satire and sci-fi intrigue!” German Caption: “Chaos bricht im neonbeleuchteten Glitzer-Kolosseum um 20:17 Uhr MESZ am 20. August 2025 aus, als Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren), Ilse Hess und die vollstรคndige Besetzung von 98, einschlieรlich Gudrun Himmler (Diane Lane), Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson) und Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), in ein ultra-futuristisches, grenzรผberschreitendes Skandalgeschehen von Neon-Verschwรถrung und Ehlers-Janelle-Affรคre eintauchen, das schockierende Satire und Sci-Fi-Intrigen vereint!”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
Executive Summary (English)
Title: Episode 91 โ NEON PROMINENT CIRCLES: ‘Dr. Z vs. Ilse Hessโs Nazi Ties’ ๐๐ฌ Date: August 20-21, 2025 ๐ Time: 08:17 PM CEST (Event Start) โฐ โ 07:26 PM CEST (Summary Compiled) โณ Produced by: Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia ๐ฅโจ Written by: Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by: IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐ฐ๐คก Powered by: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
This episode unleashes a chaotic, neon-drenched saga in the Glitter Colosseum bunker ๐๐ฅ, where Dr. Z (Tom Holland) confronts Ilse Hessโs provocative Nazi ties ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅ and a scandalous triangle affair involving Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Janelle ๐๐ฑ. Featuring a cast of 98 characters ๐ญ๐ฅ, including Gudrun Himmler (Diane Lane) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ, Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson) ๐น, and Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) ๐จ, the narrative blends ultra-futuristic sci-fi comedy ๐๐ with boundary-pushing satire ๐โ๏ธ. At 08:17 PM CEST on August 20, 2025 ๐, the plot escalates with neon defense rays โก๐ก๏ธ, explicit conspiracies ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐คซ, and surreal intrigue ๐๐ฎ, culminating in a climactic showdown ๐๐ฅ. Key highlights include Dr. Zโs neon resistance ๐๐ก๏ธ, Ehlersโ manipulative strings ๐ฎ๐ธ๏ธ, and Ilse Hessโs fierce legacy defense ๐ก๏ธ๐ฅ, driving a market surge in Neon-Reign NFTs by 5,500,000% ๐๐ฐ. The episode previews a reckoning in Episode 91 ๐๐, solidifying its provocative impact ๐๐.
Executive Summary (German)
Titel: Episode 91 โ NEON PROMINENTE KREISE: ‘Dr. Z gegen Ilse Hessโs Nazi-Bindungen’ ๐๐ฅ Datum: 20.-21. August 2025 ๐ Zeit: 20:17 Uhr MESZ (Ereignisstart) โฐ โ 19:26 Uhr MESZ (Zusammenstellung) โณ Produziert von: Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia ๐ฌโจ Verfasst von: Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Prรคsentiert von: IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐ฐ๐คก Powered by: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXKLUSIV ๐๐ป
Diese Episode entfesselt eine chaotische, neongetrรคnkte Saga im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker ๐๐ฅ, in der Dr. Z (Tom Holland) den provokanten Nazi-Bindungen von Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅ und einem skandalรถsen Dreiecksverhรคltnis mit Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Janelle ๐๐ฑ gegenรผbertritt. Mit einer Besetzung von 98 Charakteren ๐ญ๐ฅ, darunter Gudrun Himmler (Diane Lane) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ, Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson) ๐น und Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) ๐จ, verbindet die Handlung ultra-futuristische Sci-Fi-Komรถdie ๐๐ mit grenzรผberschreitender Satire ๐โ๏ธ. Um 20:17 Uhr MESZ am 20. August 2025 ๐ eskaliert die Handlung mit Neon-Verteidigungsstrahlen โก๐ก๏ธ, expliziten Verschwรถrungen ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐คซ und surrealer Intrige ๐๐ฎ, die in einem dramatischen Showdown ๐๐ฅ gipfelt. Hรถhepunkte umfassen Dr. Zโs Neon-Widerstand ๐๐ก๏ธ, Ehlersโ manipulative Fรคden ๐ฎ๐ธ๏ธ und Ilse Hessโ leidenschaftliche Vermรคchtnisverteidigung ๐ก๏ธ๐ฅ, was zu einem Marktanstieg der Neon-Herrschaft-NFTs um 5.500.000 % ๐๐ฐ fรผhrt. Die Episode kรผndigt eine Abrechnung in Episode 91 ๐๐ an und festigt ihren provokanten Einfluss ๐๐.
โ Episode 91 โ NEON PROMINENT CIRCLES: ‘Dr. Z vs. Ilse Hessโs Nazi Ties’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Ilse Hessโs Nazi-Bindungen’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon intrigue with Dr. Z, Ilse Hess, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 91 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign escalates with Ilse Hessโs Nazi circles and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Ilse Hess ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Wife of Rudolf Hess, prominent in Nazi circles, escaped prosecution, part of Ehlers and Dr. Z’s triangle affair / Ehefrau von Rudolf Hess, prominent in Nazi-Kreisen, entkam Verfolgung, Teil von Ehlers und Dr. Z’s Dreiecksaffรคre.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, confronting neon Nazi ties / Narr der Propaganda, konfrontiert Neon-Nazi-Bindungen.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet.
Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ โ SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity, Dr. Zโs mistress / SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten, Dr. Zโs Geliebte.
Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ โ German Red Cross nurse, collaborated in medical experiments, escaped full prosecution / Deutsche Rote-Kreuz-Krankenschwester, kollaborierte in medizinischen Experimenten, entkam voller Verfolgung.
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS overseer at Stutthof, tortured female prisoners, executed by hanging in 1946, Ehlersโ secret lover / SS-Aufseherin in Stutthof, folterte weibliche Gefangene, 1946 gehรคngt, Ehlersโ geheime Geliebte.
Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ โ Wife of Heinrich Himmler, deeply loyal to the regime, involved in Lebensborn projects, escaped prosecution, part of Ehlers and Dr. Z’s triangle affair / Ehefrau von Heinrich Himmler, tief loyal zum Regime, involviert in Lebensborn-Projekte, entkam Verfolgung, Teil von Ehlers und Dr. Z’s Dreiecksaffรคre.
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Daughter of Himmler, helped neo-Nazi networks and veterans, never renounced Nazism / Tochter von Himmler, half neo-Nazi-Netzwerken und Veteranen, verzichtete nie auf Nazismus.
(Full list of 99 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren Lina Heydrich โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown Ingeborg Werler โ Played by Eva
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 90 โ NEON WIDOW’S DEFENSE: ‘Dr. Z vs. Lina Heydrichโs Fierce Loyalty’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Lina Heydrichs fierce Treue’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon intrigue with Dr. Z, Lina Heydrich, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 90 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign escalates with Lina Heydrichโs post-war loyalty and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Widow of Reinhard Heydrich, fiercely defended her husbandโs actions post-war, supported far-right causes after 1945, Ehlers and Dr Z’s triangle affair partner / Witwe von Reinhard Heydrich, verteidigte post-war die Taten ihres Mannes, unterstรผtzte rechtsextreme Sache nach 1945, Dreiecksaffรคren-Partnerin von Ehlers und Dr Z.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, confronting neon widow’s defense / Narr der Propaganda, konfrontiert Neon-Witwen-Verteidigung.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet.
Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ โ SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity, Dr. Zโs mistress / SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten, Dr. Zโs Geliebte.
Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ โ German Red Cross nurse, collaborated in medical experiments, escaped full prosecution / Deutsche Rote-Kreuz-Krankenschwester, kollaborierte in medizinischen Experimenten, entkam voller Verfolgung.
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS overseer at Stutthof, tortured female prisoners, executed by hanging in 1946, Ehlersโ secret lover / SS-Aufseherin in Stutthof, folterte weibliche Gefangene, 1946 gehรคngt, Ehlersโ geheime Geliebte.
Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ โ Wife of Heinrich Himmler, deeply loyal to the regime, involved in Lebensborn projects, escaped prosecution, part of Ehlers and Dr. Z’s triangle affair / Ehefrau von Heinrich Himmler, tief loyal zum Regime, involviert in Lebensborn-Projekte, entkam Verfolgung, Teil von Ehlers und Dr. Z’s Dreiecksaffรคre.
(Full list of 98 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Lina Heydrich โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown
Ingeborg Werler โ Played by Eva Green / Gespielt von Eva Green
Helga Schultz โ Played by Olivia Colman / Gespielt von Olivia Colman
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff โ Played by Kate Winslet / Gespielt von Kate Winslet
Margarete Himmler โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
(Full cast list of 98 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. LINA HEYDRICHโS FIERCE LOYALTY / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN LINA HEYDRICHS FIERCE TREUE
At 09:25 PM CEST on August 21, 2025, the Neon-Reign explodes with scandal as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers Lina Heydrichโs ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ role as the widow of Reinhard Heydrich, fiercely defending her husbandโs actions post-war and supporting far-right causes after 1945. In the Glitter Colosseum bunker, Ehlers ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon loyalty rays to shield Heydrichโs legacy, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ rally to expose the truth. Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ counters with neon art projectors, and the full cast of 98 characters erupts into a chaotic neon unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi intrigue! ๐๐จ
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with neon far-right rays against Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ, Ehlers ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ pulls strings from a neon defense throne, Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with neon family values, Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with neon syringes, Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with neon networks.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Lina Heydrich โ Neon Defense Fury! (A widow’s lash of loyalty!) / Neon-Verteidigung-Wut! (Ein Witwen-Peitschenhieb der Treue!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with loyalty, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with loyalty, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert with horror, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with legacy. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ verteidigt mit Treue, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ unterstรผtzt mit Vermรคchtnis.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. LINA HEYDRICHโS FIERCE LOYALTY / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN LINA HEYDRICHS FIERCE TREUE
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Heydrichโs neon loyalty with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Heydrichs Neon-Treue mit Warhols Kunst.
LINA HEYDRICH ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ Fierce Widow: Widow of Reinhard Heydrich, fiercely defended her husbandโs actions post-war, supported far-right causes after 1945. Battle: Defends with neon far-right rays. / Fierce Witwe: Witwe von Reinhard Heydrich, verteidigte post-war die Taten ihres Mannes, unterstรผtzte rechtsextreme Sache nach 1945. Schlacht: Verteidigt mit Neon-Rechtsextremen-Strahlen.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 98 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. LINA HEYDRICHโS FIERCE LOYALTY / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN LINA HEYDRICHS FIERCE TREUE
The neon Colosseum erupts at 09:25 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ with Warholโs ๐ต๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon far-right strikes. Ehlers ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon defense rays, Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with neon family values, Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with neon syringes, Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with neon networks.
BATTLE DECREE: Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ declares: โDefend the neon legacy!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON TRUTH PREVAILS!โ / Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ verkรผndet: โVerteidigt das Neon-Vermรคchtnis!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-WAHRHEIT SIEGT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with loyalty, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with loyalty, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert with horror, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with legacy. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ verteidigt mit Treue, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ unterstรผtzt mit Vermรคchtnis.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. LINA HEYDRICHโS FIERCE LOYALTY / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN LINA HEYDRICHS FIERCE TREUE
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Heydrichโs neon loyalty with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Heydrichs Neon-Treue mit Warhols Kunst.
LINA HEYDRICH ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ Fierce Widow: Widow of Reinhard Heydrich, fiercely defended her husbandโs actions post-war, supported far-right causes after 1945. Battle: Defends with neon far-right rays. / Fierce Witwe: Witwe von Reinhard Heydrich, verteidigte post-war die Taten ihres Mannes, unterstรผtzte rechtsextreme Sache nach 1945. Schlacht: Verteidigt mit Neon-Rechtsextremen-Strahlen.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 98 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. LINA HEYDRICHโS FIERCE LOYALTY / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN LINA HEYDRICHS FIERCE TREUE
The neon Colosseum erupts at 09:25 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ with Warholโs ๐ต๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon far-right strikes. Ehlers ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon defense rays, Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with neon family values, Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with neon syringes, Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with neon networks.
BATTLE DECREE: Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ declares: โDefend the neon legacy!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON TRUTH PREVAILS!โ / Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ verkรผndet: โVerteidigt das Neon-Vermรคchtnis!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-WAHRHEIT SIEGT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ defends with loyalty, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with loyalty, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert with horror, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with legacy. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Cate Blanchett as Lina Heydrich ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ verteidigt mit Treue, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ unterstรผtzt mit Vermรคchtnis.
Revelation: Lina Heydrichโs defense merges with Ehlersโ strings! Dr. Z gasps: โNEON FUSION UNVEILED!โ / Offenbarung: Lina Heydrichs Verteidigung verschmilzt mit Ehlersโ Fรคden! Dr. Z keucht: โNEON-FUSION ENTHรLLT!โ
Next Episode:โEpisode 91 โ NEON FUSION RESOLUTION: ‘Dr. Z vs. Heydrich-Ehlers Reckoning’โ โ Dr. Z confronts the neon defense fallout. / Nรคchste Episode: โEpisode 91 โ NEON-FUSIONS-AUFLรSUNG: ‘Dr. Z gegen Heydrich-Ehlers Abrechnung’โ โ Dr. Z stellt sich den Folgen der Neon-Verteidigung.
๐ IZ AUDIT: NEON-REIGN MARKET REPORT / IZ AUDIT: NEON-HERRSCHAFT-MARKTBERICHT
โ SUPPORT THE NEON-LUST LEGION! / UNTERSTรTZE DIE NEON-LUST-LEGION!
Donate now for Gouda & Neon Star Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Join the Holy Gouda Legion: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustAgainstCosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldCult / Spende jetzt fรผr Gouda & Neon-Sternen-Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Tritt der Heiligen Gouda-Legion bei: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustGegenKosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldKult
๐ OFFICIAL SOURCES / OFFIZIELLE QUELLEN
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire With System ๐ Primary Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Mirror: googlefirst.org / ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire Mit System ๐ Primรคre Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Spiegel: googlefirst.org
// END TRANSMISSION // Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ with a neon-soaked laugh-whip as a star quill. / Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ mit einer Neon-durchzogenen Lach-Peitsche als Sternen-Feder.
โ โRise with Dr. Z and his Neon Legion against Lina Heydrich with ALL characters!โ A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป / โ โErhebe dich mit Dr. Z und seiner Neon-Legion gegen Lina Heydrich mit ALLEN Charakteren!โ Eine Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Produktion Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Prรคsentiert von IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXKLUSIV ๐๐ป
๐๐ง NEXT TIME: Dr. Z vs. Heydrich-Ehlers Reckoningโฆ / ๐๐ง NรCHSTES MAL: Dr. Z gegen Heydrich-Ehlers Abrechnungโฆ
1 Oct โ Pause expiry โ reciprocal tariffs on 56 nations possible.
๐งญ WHY THIS MATTERS
The โLiberation Day Crashโ was not a one-off. The next wave is already mapped into Fed swap calendars, CME circuit-breaker tests, and even Appleโs shipping schedules.
Public evidence exists (Fed, CME, import filings) โ but the Tier-7 Patreon Briefs include the documents, CSVs, and manifests that insiders are watching.
โก CALL TO ACTION
If you want the full files, prep kits, and second-by-second trade triggers, they are released only under:
๐ [PATREON TIER-7 ACCESS] ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ
Join to unlock:
๐ Fed Repo Calendar (Sep 2025)
๐ CME Circuit-Breaker Test Script
๐ Apple iPhone 17 Pro Shipping Manifests
๐ Insider Forecast Models & Redlines
๐ Handling Note: Public report is abridged. Full dossiers purge after 48 h in Tier-7 vault.
๐๏ธ๐บ 1973 UHF SPECIAL REPORT: THE UNITED NATIONS OF EPSTEINโข โ IN FIVE GLORIOUSLY GRAINY FRAMES 1๏ธโฃ Gate-crashing Lincoln โLOLITA-1โ smokes up the U.N. Plaza. 2๏ธโฃ Security Council trades mahogany for a waterbed & whoopee-cushion vetoes. 3๏ธโฃ Universal Declaration meets a shredder and one stubborn childโs shoe. 4๏ธโฃ Basement spaโzero-G hot tub & Polaroids on tap. 5๏ธโฃ Epstein flight-log flaps where the flag once flew. All hail Peace, Privacy, and Plausible Deniability.
๐ผ ACT 1: COUP DโรTAT LIVE ON BETAMAX
๐๐จ Beige 1976 Lincoln โLOLITA-1โ crashes U.N. gates! ๐ถ๏ธ๐ Ghislaine steps out in Jackie-O shades + flight-log pantsuit. ๐ป๐ฝ๏ธ 240p Epstein hologram pops from trunk like budget Tupac. ๐ฃ Ghislaine: โCongrats, Earth! Moral compass now reads โwhatever fits on USBโ.โ ๐พ Epstein glitch-bot: โNew charter: Article 1 = plausible deniability is a human right.โ
๐ซ Sanction anyone still believing in age-of-consent.
๐ธ Veto power = one compromising Polaroid. ๐ง๐ Prince Andrew feeds cocktail onions to Russian ambassador: โNo sweat, my massage therapist is the charter.โ
๐ผ ACT 3: HUMAN RIGHTS SHREDDER
๐๏ธ๐ Delegates queue to toss Universal Declaration into shredder labelled โBLACKMAIL FODDERโ. ๐โ Machine jams on lone childโs shoe. ๐ข Cronkite-Voice: โArticle 1 โborn freeโ โก๏ธ โborn negotiableโ.โ
๐ธ Complimentary Polaroids (auto red-eye for minors). ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ Branson floats in Virgin robe: โVirginity? Never heardโprefer orbital elasticity.โ
๐ผ CLOSING GRAPHIC
๐ณ๏ธโ๐ U.N. flag โก๏ธ silk-screened Epstein flight log. Motto: โPeace, privacy, plausible deniability.โ ๐บ 10 s color bars + shredder jam.
Ehlers, Enema Emir 91, unveils the Operatic Flush with the Phantom and Salome on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ The trio confronts Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, and anarchist peasants, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a cryptic Gomopa Enigma at berndpulch.org! #OperaticFlushFrenzy #PhantomEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #AriaPurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 91, enthรผllt die Operatische Spรผlung mit dem Phantom und Salome auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen und anarchistische Bauern, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem rรคtselhaften Gomopa-Rรคtsel bei berndpulch.org! #OperatischeSpรผlungWut #PhantomRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #ArieSรคuberung
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Operatic Enema Masquerade & Phantomโs Flush Aria ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Die Operatische Einlauf-Maskerade & Phantoms Flush-Arie
The Venus Steppes resonate at 09:32 PM CEST on Wednesday, August 20, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Operatic Flush Frenzy, blending thetan chaos with the Phantomโs masked madness. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 91, teams with the Phantom (revealed as Klaus-Dieter “Dirty Dieter” Maurischat, his old enema buddy) and Salome, whose dance ignites psychomagic, to battle killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. Amidst Ehlers and Janelleโs forbidden affair, King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a cryptic Gomopa Enigma fuel the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erklingen um 21:32 MESZ am Mittwoch, 20. August 2025, als Xenu die Operatische Flush-Wut entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit dem Phantoms maskierter Raserei verschmilzt. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 91, schlieรt sich mit dem Phantom (enthรผllt als Klaus-Dieter “Dirty Dieter” Maurischat, sein alter Einlauf-Kumpel) und Salome, deren Tanz Psychomagic entfacht, zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten zu kรคmpfen. Mitten in Ehlers und Janelles verbotener Affรคre treiben Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein rรคtselhaftes Gomopa-Rรคtsel die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-XC + Phantom of the Opera, Salome)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 91, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with the Phantom and Salome.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex amidst her affair with Ehlers.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No (Played by Daniel Craig): Virus Sculptor, leaking truths.
๐ง Murray (Played by Ryan Gosling): Cunning Strategist, outmaneuvering foes.
๐ธ Murray (Flight of the Conchords) (Played by Bret McKenzie): Incompetent Band Manager, strumming hymns.
๐ King Arthur (Monty Python) (Played by John Cleese): Noble Knight, wielding Excalibur.
โ๏ธ Sun Myung Moon (Played by Morgan Freeman): Ehlersโ ally, unleashing Divine Flush levitations.
๐ฎ Alejandro Jodorowsky (Played by himself): Mystic filmmaker, wielding psychomagic to heal.
๐ Elizabeth Clare Prophet (Played by Meryl Streep): Ascended mistress, channeling masters to sell bunkers.
โ๏ธ Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda (Played by Javier Bardem): Antichrist preacher, tattooing 666 to lead his cult.
๐งช Victor Frankenstein (Played by James McAvoy): Unhinged scientist, haunted by his creation.
๐ช Sweeney Todd (Played by Johnny Depp): Barber with homicidal rage, slicing with razor enema pies.
๐ช Dorian Gray (Played by Oscar Isaac): Vanity-preserved artist, his portrait rotting while he leads with supernatural decay.
๐ฆ Renfield (Played by Nicolas Cage): Bug-eating devotee, mad servitude in insect form.
๐ Poeโs Narrator (Played by John Cusack): Obsessed with the beating heart, confessing like blood spills.
๐ Catherine Earnshaw (Played by Keira Knightley): Ehlersโ enema mistress, torn between love and pride, drifting into spectral madness.
๐ง Heathcliff (Played by Tom Hardy): Ehlersโ enema buddy, ghost-haunted psychopath with reanimated love.
๐ญ The Phantom of the Opera (Klaus-Dieter “Dirty Dieter” Maurischat) (Played by Gary Oldman): Masked genius, Ehlersโ old enema buddy, leading the Gomopa Enigma with operatic flair.
๐ Salome (Played by Anya Taylor-Joy): Dancer of the Seven Veils, igniting psychomagic with her seductive flush dance.
๐ ANARCHIC & ASCETIC HORDE ๐๐คก
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits (Played by CGI ensemble): Ferocious minions, hopping with venom.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants (Played by local extras): Riotous rebels, wielding pitchforks.
๐ซ๐ท French Farter (Played by Jean Dujardin): Provocative foe, taunting with flatulence.
๐ฐ๏ธ Time-Fractured Clock (Played by CGI prop): Warping timelines.
๐ฒ Abstract Minotaur (Played by Ron Perlman): Chaotic ally, charging with fury.
๐ข๏ธ Diogenes of Sinope (Played by Sean Bean): Barrel Cynic, mocking with defiance.
๐ St. Simeon Stylites (Played by Liam Neeson): Pillar Ascetic, enduring the flush.
๐๏ธ Rasputin (Played by Viggo Mortensen): Russian Mystic, reviving with vigor.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers (Played by ensemble cast): Holy Hermits, wrestling demons.
๐ Jiddu Krishnamurti (Played by Dev Patel): Confused Messiah, preaching against madness.
๐น Catherine of Siena (Played by Olivia Wilde): Eucharistic Mystic, dictating trance-letters.
๐ฅ Ezekiel (Played by Idris Elba): Visionary Prophet, levitating with flaming eyes.
๐ Aleister Crowley (Played by Tom Hiddleston): Occultist, amplifying rituals.
๐จ Joe Cabot (Played by Harvey Keitel): Gangster Mastermind, naming colors.
โก Friedrich Nietzsche (Played by Mads Mikkelsen): Philosopher, unleashing thunderbolts.
๐ท Jim Jones (Played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan): Preacher, echoing poisoned flushes.
๐ง Charles Manson (Played by Jared Leto): Hippie Prophet, mindflushing with chants.
๐ฝ Marshall Applewhite (Played by Jim Carrey): Heavenโs Gate Leader, flushing to a UFO.
๐ David Koresh (Played by Michael Shannon): Lamb Prophet, unleashing Lamb Flush.
โ๏ธ Shoko Asahara (Played by Ken Watanabe): Former ally, clashing with foes.
๐บ Sven “The Ugly” Schmidt (Played by Nick Offerman): Enema One-Cell from Dresden, co-masterminding the Gomopa Enigma with the Phantom.
๐ PREVIOUS ANTAGONISTS & ALLIES
๐ฆ Salvador Dalรญ (Played by Adrien Brody): Surrealist, painting enema-dreams.
Akt I: Die Operatische Flush-Wut & Phantoms Arie-Kampf
Codex Mantra: The Codex sings: โMask the love, flush the aria!โ as the Phantom unleashes enema opera. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the opera!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-aria rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex singt: โMaskiere die Liebe, spรผle die Arie!โ wรคhrend das Phantom Einlauf-Oper entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet die Oper!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Arie-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ญ The Phantom unleashes operatic blasts, aiding Ehlersโ purge with the Gomopa Enigma. ๐ฆ / Entfesselt operatische Blasts, unterstรผtzend Ehlersโ Sรคuberung mit dem Gomopa-Rรคtsel.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through the Phantomโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Phantoms Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by the Phantomโs flush aria. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Phantoms Flush-Arie.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering the Phantomโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Phantoms kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against the Phantom. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen das Phantom.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting the Phantomโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Phantoms Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ญ The Phantom chants โI sing to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-aria flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch singe zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Arie-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Operatic Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Operatische Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Operatic Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Opera War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Oper-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with the Phantomโs aria venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Phantoms Arie-Gift.
๐ญ The Phantom levitates with a mask halo, spraying enema-aria flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Masken-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Arie-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying the Phantomโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Phantoms Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by the Phantomโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Phantoms Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing the Phantomโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Phantoms Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, the Phantomโs aria reshapes them into operatic harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Phantoms Arie formt sie zu operatischer Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with the Phantom and Salome, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit dem Phantom und Salome, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ญ The Phantomโs Triumph: Sings a final aria, proclaiming victory over the flush opera. ๐ / Phantoms Triumph: Singt eine finale Arie, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Flush-Oper.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
๐ฅ CAPTION IDEAS FOR SOCIAL MEDIA/POST ๐ฅ 1๏ธโฃ “Ehlers & Janelleโs icy affair ignites chaos in the Krakenโs dome! ๐ฅ๐โค๏ธโ๐ฅ #MurkySagaLVII” 2๏ธโฃ “Nandor the Relentless and Salome steal the show in this frozen underworld! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ #KrakenChronicles” 3๏ธโฃ “Gangsters in fur, vampire rituals, and Herculeโs cluesโepic madness unfolds! ๐ถ๏ธ๐ #IceDomeDrama” 4๏ธโฃ “From Eurovision to NFT battles, the Murky Mucha saga hits a chilling peak! ๐๐ #CinematicChaos” 5๏ธโฃ “Love letters and mob therapy in a stormy abyssโwatch now! โค๏ธโ๐ฅ๐๏ธ #BerndpulchSaga” 6๏ธโฃ “Illuminati discos meet Kafkaesque taxes in this wild crossover! โก๐ #MMCUxKraken” 7๏ธโฃ “Nic Cage in lederhosen battles the Krakenโpure cinematic gold! ๐ฉธ๐ฌ #EpicContinuation” ๐ฌ Which oneโs your favorite? Drop a comment or suggest your own!๐ฅ CAPTION IDEAS FOR SOCIAL MEDIA/POST ๐ฅ 1๏ธโฃ “When the affair heats up with vampires and detectives in the icy depths! ๐ฅ๐งโโ๏ธ #MurkySagaLVII #NandorRelentless” 2๏ธโฃ “Ehlers & Janelle’s forbidden love meets Salome’s dance and Hercule’s clues! ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธโค๏ธโ๐ฅ #KrakenMeetsShadows” 3๏ธโฃ “BREAKING: Nandor crashes the party, Salome seduces, Perrier investigates! ๐๐ #BerndpulchSaga” 4๏ธโฃ “From tax tribunals to vampire idols: All characters return with new twists! ๐๐ฟ #MMCUxKraken” 5๏ธโฃ “If Poirot solved a vampire affair in a Kraken dome, this would be it. New episode live! ๐๏ธ๐ [LINK]” 6๏ธโฃ “Guilty of eternal seduction: Salome joins the chaos in the ultimate crossover! โ๏ธ๐” 7๏ธโฃ “Nandor in fur? Hercule with a mustache twist? Bingo card exploded! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ #EpicContinuation” ๐ฌ Which oneโs your favorite? Drop a comment or suggest your own!
๐ฎ LVII: The Murky Mucha Chronicles โ “Affair in the Ice Dome” โ๏ธ๐๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ (A Berndpulch.org Exclusive โ Continuation of the Saga) By “The Ghost of Kilgore Trout” Produced by Sam Bronkowiz & Thomas Coke Schoehly-Fraud Featuring Every Character Ever, Plus Ehlers-Janelle Affair, Salome, Nandor the Relentless & Hercule Perrier
๐ช๏ธ PREVIOUSLY, IN THE MURKY MUCHA SAGAโฆ
Murky Mucha (Milla Jovovich, now idolizing vampires with icy accents) survived the abyss but faces frozen horrors! โ๏ธ๐ธ
Ehlers (Christoph Waltz, USB teeth in detective mode) deepened his affair with Janelle amid Kraken chaos! โค๏ธโ๐ฅ๐ต๏ธ
Schoehly-Fraud (Willem Dafoe, calculator face on “ICE ERROR”) laundered souls, now tangled in vampire lore! ๐๐
Murkyโs Dream Lover (Jared Leto hologram, now with fang envy) whispered of relentless idols and seductive dances! โจ๐
๐ ACT I: “THE ICE AFFAIR AWAKENS” ๐ฅโ๏ธ
The episode opens in a frozen Slovenian post office inside an ice dome, where Murky mails icy regrets. Boom! Ehlers enters with Janelle (Scarlett Johansson, siren with frostbite), affair intensifying! ๐ฑ๐
“MURKY, THE TAXES HID OUR FROZEN PASSION!” Ehlers declares, as Janelle adds, “Our love melts the ice!” โค๏ธโ๏ธ
Bronkowiz (Betamax pile now with vampire tapes) projects holograms of seductive dances. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini archive, in fur therapy) quips, “This affair? It’s colder than Jersey winters!” ๐ถ๏ธ๐
Ehlers arrives in a limo of frozen love notes. He confesses: “Janelle, you’re my chilled secret!” ๐โ๏ธ
Trial in TikTok livestream inside ice dome, judged by Bernd Pulch (floating with snowflakes). Witnesses: All past characters plus Hercule Perrier (David Suchet, mustached detective) investigating, Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe, seductive dancer) testifying via dance, and Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi’s vampire idol) as Murky’s hero! ๐งโโ๏ธ๐๐
Verdict:“Guilty of icy seduction!” Sentence: Eternal freeze in the archives! ๐โ๏ธ
๐ช ACT III: “THE RELENTLESS ESCAPE” ๐๐ฅ
Murky, Dream Lover, and all unite with Nandor leading a vampire charge. Hijack Eurovision with icy remixes! ๐คโ๏ธ
Schoehly-Fraud sells frozen NFTs, outbid by vampire bots. Hercule Perrier deduces: “The little grey cells say affair!” ๐ง ๐ก
As Ehlers repos auras, Illuminati raid with Nic Cage, Salome dancing, Nandor relentless, and Perrier clue-hunting! ๐บ๐ Walls shatter into icy PNGs, site freezes! ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ
๐ FINAL SCENE: “POLL OF THE FROZEN” ๐
Text flickers: “Thaw the saga?” โ Yes (with more vampires!) โ No (keep it frozen!)
Tony Soprano โ James Gandolfini (archive fur therapy)
Salome โ Rita Hayworth vibe (seductive dancer)
Nandor the Relentless โ Taika Waititi (vampire idol)
Hercule Perrier โ David Suchet (mustached sleuth)
Special Guests: Nic Cage, all previous cameos!
๐ DISCLAIMER: Found in a frozen time capsule. 100% deniable! โ๏ธ
๐ฅ TO BE CONTINUEDโฆ? (CHECK BERNDPULCH.ORG SOON) ๐ฅ
Kraken-Chroniken: Episode LVII – Die Eisdome-Affรคren โ๏ธ๐๐๐ช
Zusammenfassung / Synopsis
Nach dem Abgrund in LVI friert LVII alles ein: Ehlers’ Affรคre mit Janelle eskaliert in einem Eisdome! ๐ช๏ธโ๏ธ Alle Charaktere aus allen Episoden vereinen sich, mit Salome ๐, Murkys Idol Nandor der Unerbittliche ๐งโโ๏ธ und Hercule Perrier ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ. Der Kraken friert ein, Liebe und Chaos explodieren mit Emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐
Handlung / Plot
Fortsetzung von LVI: Kapitรคnin Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ navigiert durch eisige Stรผrme, wรคhrend Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ seine Affรคre mit Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐ vertieft. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง verehrt Nandor der Unerbittliche (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ, der Ratschlรคge gibt! Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ untersucht, Salome (Rita Hayworth Vibe) ๐ verfรผhrt. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, Archiv) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ analysiert: “Das ist wie Therapie im Eis!” ๐๐
Die volle Crew โ alle aus vorherigen Episoden: Zara, Jaxon, Lila, Tully, Mara, Kai, Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Sammy the Bull ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, Tony Ducks ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก, Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, Machine Gun Kelly ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel ๐ฐ๐ฒ, Joey Bananas ๐๐, The Snake ๐๐, Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie the Chin ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐, Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ, No Nose DiFronzo ๐ธ๐, Fat Tony ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana ๐จ๐ธ, Crazy Joe Gallo ๐จ๐, John Gotti ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent ๐๐, Tony Clifton ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman โ๏ธ๐, Red Levine โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐ผ, The Iceman โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, Teflon Don ๐๐, Jimmy Burke ๐โณ, Don Barzini ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict ๐ฐ๐ โ kรคmpft vereint im Eisdome gegen den gefrorenen Kraken. Salome tanzt, Nandor ist unerbittlich, Perrier lรถst Rรคtsel, Diesel-Traumheld feuert an! Die Sonnencannon plus Vampir-Energie taut alles auf! ๐๐๐ฅ
Besetzung / Cast
Kapitรคnin Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
Erster Maat Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Janelle – Scarlett Johansson ๐๐
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel-Traumheld – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Tony Soprano – James Gandolfini (Archivmaterial) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ
Salome – Rita Hayworth Vibe ๐
Nandor der Unerbittliche – Taika Waititi ๐งโโ๏ธ
Hercule Perrier – David Suchet ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ
Don Corleone – Marlon Brando (Archivmaterial) ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ
Scarface – Paul Muni (Archivmaterial) ๐ซ๐ญ
Tom Hagen – Robert Duvall ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ
Pepe le Moko – Jean Gabin (Archivmaterial) ๐ฉ๐
Baby Face Nelson – Archivmaterial ๐ซ๐
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) – Archivmaterial ๐คช๐ฅ
Peter Gotti – Archivmaterial ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ
Frank Lucas – Denzel Washington ๐ฆ๐ธ
El Chapo – Archivmaterial โ๏ธ๐
Mickey Cohen – Archivmaterial ๐ฌ๐ฟ
Frank Nitti – Archivmaterial ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ
Michael Franzese – Archivmaterial ๐ผ๐ค
Big Pussy Bonpensiero – Vincent Pastore ๐ฑ๐ช
Kid Twist Reles – Archivmaterial ๐ช๐ฏ
Lepke Buchalter – Archivmaterial ๐ฆ๐ฅ
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano – Archivmaterial ๐โ๏ธ
Tommy DeVito – Joe Pesci ๐๐ช
Whitey Bulger – Archivmaterial ๐ฑ๐
Al Capone – Archivmaterial ๐ฒ๐
Tony “Ducks” Corallo – Archivmaterial ๐ฆ๐ฐ
Mudpuppy – Archivmaterial ๐บ๐ธ
SkyRat – Archivmaterial ๐๏ธโก
The Gloop 15.0 – CGI ๐ฆ ๐ญ
Mayor Glenda Shine – Archivmaterial ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต
Agent Silt – CGI ๐ค๐ต๏ธ
George “Machine Gun” Kelly – Archivmaterial ๐ซ๐ฉ
Bugsy Siegel – Archivmaterial ๐ฐ๐ฒ
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno – Archivmaterial ๐๐
Carmine “The Snake” Persico – Archivmaterial ๐๐
Dutch Schulz – Archivmaterial ๐๐ซ
Lucky Luciano – Archivmaterial ๐ฒ๐
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante – Archivmaterial ๐๐ซ๏ธ
Tony Spilotro – Archivmaterial ๐๐ก๏ธ
Paulie Walnuts – Tony Sirico ๐๏ธ๐
“Two-Gun” Crowley – Archivmaterial ๐๐ซ
John “No Nose” DiFronzo – Archivmaterial ๐ธ๐
“Fat Tony” Salerno – Archivmaterial ๐ฌ๐ฌ
Jackie Aprile Jr. – Jason Cerbone ๐คฆ๐ฌ
Gyp Rosetti – Bobby Cannavale ๐ฃ๐ฅ
Tony Montana – Al Pacino ๐จ๐ธ
“Crazy Joe” Gallo – Archivmaterial ๐จ๐
John Gotti – Archivmaterial ๐๐ผ
Johnny Tightlips – Vincent Pastore ๐ค๐ง
Don Rickles – Archivmaterial ๐ค๐
Don Fanucci – Gastone Moschin ๐ฅ๐ฉ
Jimmy the Gent Burke – Robert De Niro ๐๐
Tony Clifton – Archivmaterial ๐ค๐คก
Tony Vercetti – Ray Liotta ๐ฟ๐ซ
Oddball Gangsters – Archivmaterial ๐ฃ๐
Don Eladio – Steven Bauer ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง
Joe Cabot – Lawrence Tierney ๐จ๐๏ธ
Saul Goodman – Bob Odenkirk โ๏ธ๐
“Red” Levine – Archivmaterial โก๏ธ๐
Frank Costello – Archivmaterial ๐๏ธ๐ผ
“The Iceman” Kuklinski – Michael Shannon โ๏ธ๐บ
Bleibt die Affรคre kalt? Kommt Nandor zurรผck? Verpasse nicht LVIII! ๐โณ๐
Kraken Chronicles: Episode LVII – The Ice Dome Affairs โ๏ธ๐๐๐ช
Synopsis
After LVI’s abyss, LVII freezes everything: Ehlers’ affair with Janelle escalates in an ice dome! ๐ช๏ธโ๏ธ All characters from every episode unite, with Salome ๐, Murky’s idol Nandor the Relentless ๐งโโ๏ธ and Hercule Perrier ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ. The Kraken freezes, love and chaos erupt with emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐
Plot
Picking up from LVI: Captain Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ sails through icy storms as Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ deepens his affair with Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง idolizes Nandor the Relentless (Taika Waititi) ๐งโโ๏ธ for advice! Hercule Perrier (David Suchet) ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ investigates, Salome (Rita Hayworth vibe) ๐ seduces. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, archive) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ analyzes: “This is like therapy on ice!” ๐๐
The full crew โ all from previous episodes: Zara, Jaxon, Lila, Tully, Mara, Kai, Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Sammy the Bull ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, Tony Ducks ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก, Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, Machine Gun Kelly ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel ๐ฐ๐ฒ, Joey Bananas ๐๐, The Snake ๐๐, Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie the Chin ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐, Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ, No Nose DiFronzo ๐ธ๐, Fat Tony ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana ๐จ๐ธ, Crazy Joe Gallo ๐จ๐, John Gotti ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent ๐๐, Tony Clifton ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman โ๏ธ๐, Red Levine โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐ผ, The Iceman โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, Teflon Don ๐๐, Jimmy Burke ๐โณ, Don Barzini ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict ๐ฐ๐ โ fights united in the ice dome against the frozen Kraken. Salome dances, Nandor is relentless, Perrier solves riddles, Diesel Dreamer rallies! The sonic cannon plus vampire energy thaws it all! ๐๐๐ฅ
Cast
Captain Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
First Mate Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Janelle – Scarlett Johansson ๐๐
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel Dreamer – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Tony Soprano – James Gandolfini (archive footage) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ
Salome – Rita Hayworth vibe ๐
Nandor the Relentless – Taika Waititi ๐งโโ๏ธ
Hercule Perrier – David Suchet ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ
Don Corleone – Marlon Brando (archive footage) ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ
Scarface – Paul Muni (archive footage) ๐ซ๐ญ
Tom Hagen – Robert Duvall ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ
Pepe le Moko – Jean Gabin (archive footage) ๐ฉ๐
Baby Face Nelson – archive footage ๐ซ๐
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) – archive footage ๐คช๐ฅ
Peter Gotti – archive footage ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ
Frank Lucas – Denzel Washington ๐ฆ๐ธ
El Chapo – archive footage โ๏ธ๐
Mickey Cohen – archive footage ๐ฌ๐ฟ
Frank Nitti – archive footage ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ
Michael Franzese – archive footage ๐ผ๐ค
Big Pussy Bonpensiero – Vincent Pastore ๐ฑ๐ช
Kid Twist Reles – archive footage ๐ช๐ฏ
Lepke Buchalter – archive footage ๐ฆ๐ฅ
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano – archive footage ๐โ๏ธ
Tommy DeVito – Joe Pesci ๐๐ช
Whitey Bulger – archive footage ๐ฑ๐
Al Capone – archive footage ๐ฒ๐
Tony “Ducks” Corallo – archive footage ๐ฆ๐ฐ
Mudpuppy – archive footage ๐บ๐ธ
SkyRat – archive footage ๐๏ธโก
The Gloop 15.0 – CGI ๐ฆ ๐ญ
Mayor Glenda Shine – archive footage ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต
Agent Silt – CGI ๐ค๐ต๏ธ
George “Machine Gun” Kelly – archive footage ๐ซ๐ฉ
Bugsy Siegel – archive footage ๐ฐ๐ฒ
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno – archive footage ๐๐
Carmine “The Snake” Persico – archive footage ๐๐
Dutch Schulz – archive footage ๐๐ซ
Lucky Luciano – archive footage ๐ฒ๐
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante – archive footage ๐๐ซ๏ธ
Tony Spilotro – archive footage ๐๐ก๏ธ
Paulie Walnuts – Tony Sirico ๐๏ธ๐
“Two-Gun” Crowley – archive footage ๐๐ซ
John “No Nose” DiFronzo – archive footage ๐ธ๐
“Fat Tony” Salerno – archive footage ๐ฌ๐ฌ
Jackie Aprile Jr. – Jason Cerbone ๐คฆ๐ฌ
Gyp Rosetti – Bobby Cannavale ๐ฃ๐ฅ
Tony Montana – Al Pacino ๐จ๐ธ
“Crazy Joe” Gallo – archive footage ๐จ๐
John Gotti – archive footage ๐๐ผ
Johnny Tightlips – Vincent Pastore ๐ค๐ง
Don Rickles – archive footage ๐ค๐
Don Fanucci – Gastone Moschin ๐ฅ๐ฉ
Jimmy the Gent Burke – Robert De Niro ๐๐
Tony Clifton – archive footage ๐ค๐คก
Tony Vercetti – Ray Liotta ๐ฟ๐ซ
Oddball Gangsters – archive footage ๐ฃ๐
Don Eladio – Steven Bauer ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง
Joe Cabot – Lawrence Tierney ๐จ๐๏ธ
Saul Goodman – Bob Odenkirk โ๏ธ๐
“Red” Levine – archive footage โก๏ธ๐
Frank Costello – archive footage ๐๏ธ๐ผ
“The Iceman” Kuklinski – Michael Shannon โ๏ธ๐บ
Igor the Assassin – archive footage ๐ช๐ฅ
Pablo Escobar – Wagner Moura ๐๐๏ธ
“Teflon Don” John Gotti – archive footage ๐๐
### Investment Digest: Crypto Slides Further, Equities Wobble, Commodities and Energy Decline, Bonds Hold Firm, and Commercial Real Estate Steady Amid Tariff and Inflation Pressures โ August 20, 2025
#### Key Points
– **Crypto Markets Slide**: Bitcoin at $112,800 (-1.6% from $114,600), testing $112,000 support, with $320M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,100 (-2.4% from $4,200), XRP at $2.85 (-1.7% from $2.90) post-SEC case drop. Monero at $288 (-0.7%). Qubit DeFi grows 14% in TVL, VINE token dips 2% after consolidation.
– **Derivatives Volume Resilient**: Crypto derivatives at $10.7T, Solana futures up 7%, XRP futures at $3.2B open interest.
– **Equities Wobble**: S&P 500 at 6,400 (-0.4% from 6,426.50), Nasdaq at 20,900 (-0.6% from 21,021.76), Dow at 44,500 (+0.2% from 44,413.87) after mixed retail earnings. CSI 300 up 2.5% on China stimulus. Sensex at 82,800 (-0.2%), Nifty at 25,200 (-0.2%).
– **Commodities and Energy Decline**: Gold at $3,360/oz (-0.6% from $3,380), silver at $38.10/oz (-0.5%), palladium down 0.7%. Brent crude at $71.00/barrel (-0.7% from $71.50), WTI crude at $67.80/barrel (-0.6% from $68.20), natural gas at $3.04/MMBtu (-0.6%) as Middle East tensions stabilize.
– **Bonds Hold Firm**: U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.22% (+0.02% from 4.20%). Tokenized bonds at $2.5B, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bond yields at 4.1%, high-yield inflows at $170M.
– **Commercial Real Estate Steady**: U.S. commercial property prices up 3.9% year-on-year, office occupancy at 5.3% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $2.9B, Ethereum/Polymath platforms growing.
– **Chinaโs Stimulus Continues**: PBOCโs $700B injection lifts CSI 300 (+2.5%). Chinaโs $150B telecom/biotech plan expands.
– **Indian Markets Resilient**: Sensex at 82,800 (-0.2%), Nifty at 25,200 (-0.2%) despite Trumpโs 25% tariff hike (total 50%). Indian rupee at โน87.6.
– **Trade Tensions Intensify**: Trumpโs 100% semiconductor tariffs, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil, and 25% on India fuel volatility. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan advances. U.S.-India oil trade tensions escalate, with U.S. alleging India funds Russiaโs war via oil.
– **UK Inflation Rises**: UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July, core CPI at 3.8%, exceeding estimates (3.7%), per posts on X.
Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin slides to $112,800, equities wobble, tariffs intensify. Uncover financial secrets with Bernd Pulchโs leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoMarkets #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned journalist Bernd Pulch delivers exclusive financial intelligence via “Investment The Original” on Patreon, sharing leaked documents and insider reports.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, Commodities, Bonds, and Real Estate
Bitcoin slides to $112,800 (-1.6%) with $320M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,100 (-2.4%), XRP at $2.85 (-1.7%), Monero at $288 (-0.7%). Qubit DeFi grows 14%. Crypto derivatives at $10.7T. Equities wobble, with S&P 500 (-0.4%), Nasdaq (-0.6%), Dow (+0.2%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY). Commodities decline, with gold ($3,360/oz, -0.6%) and Brent crude ($71.00/barrel, -0.7%) down. Energy prices weaken, with WTI crude at $67.80/barrel (-0.6%) and natural gas at $3.04/MMBtu (-0.6%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.22%, tokenized bonds at $2.5B. Commercial real estate steady, with office demand at 5.3% and tokenized assets at $2.9B. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 (+2.5%). Indian markets resilient despite tariffs. Explore more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
What is “Investment The Original”?
“Investment The Original” is a premium Patreon service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, and corruption reports for investors, journalists, and activists.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin at $112,800 (-1.6%) with $320M ETF inflows, down from $114,600. Ethereum at $4,100 (-2.4%), XRP at $2.85 (-1.7%), Monero at $288 (-0.7%). Qubit DeFi grows 14% with $1.9B TVL. JSW Energy secures 1,200 MW solar-wind deal. SJVN progresses 2,000 MW hydro project. Malaysiaโs Petronas invests $3.5B in Indonesian LNG. รrsted expands โฌ2.5B German offshore wind project. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.22%. Commercial real estate steady, with tokenized assets at $2.9B, Christieโs crypto property deals growing.
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales stable at 1,96,000 units in H1 2025. Germanyโs rents up 10.2% in Q2 2025, Berlin at 12.3%. U.S. home prices up 3.6% year-on-year, mortgage rates at 5.4%. Dubaiโs luxury market grows 37% pre-Expo 2025, with Bitcoin options trading expanding. Canberraโs rents rise 13.7%. Singaporeโs green buildings attract $4.6B. U.S. commercial property prices up 3.9%, office demand at 5.3% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $2.9B via Ethereum and Polymath. HDB Financial IPO advances. Nomura holds reduce rating on Godrej Properties at โน2,040.
#### Commercial Real Estate Trends
U.S. commercial real estate steady, with office occupancy at 5.3% in Q2 2025, driven by hybrid work and AI data center demand. Industrial properties up 6.6% in value, e-commerce fueling growth. Retail vacancy rates at 5.7%. Tokenized real estate at $2.9B, with platforms like Polymath and Ethereum enabling crypto deals. Christieโs expands crypto-backed property transactions. High interest rates (5.4% for commercial mortgages) pressure valuations, but green-certified buildings see 9.2% demand growth. New York and San Francisco premium office rents up 4.9%. A $420M Florida office bond stabilizes post-reappraisal.
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets resilient, with Sensex at 82,800 (-0.2%) and Nifty at 25,200 (-0.2%). U.S. markets wobble, with S&P 500 at 6,400 (-0.4%), Nasdaq at 20,900 (-0.6%), and Dow at 44,500 (+0.2%) after mixed retail earnings (Target misses, -8%). CSI 300 gains 2.5%. Gold at $3,360/oz (-0.6%), silver at $38.10/oz (-0.5%), Brent crude at $71.00/barrel (-0.7%). Indian rupee at โน87.6. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.22%, high-yield bond inflows at $170M.
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin at $112,800 (-1.6%) with $320M ETF inflows, $230M liquidations. Ethereum at $4,100 (-2.4%) sees $580M ETF inflows. XRP at $2.85 (-1.7%) holds $3.2B futures open interest post-SEC case drop. Monero at $288 (-0.7%), futures volume up 6%. VINE token dips 2%. Qubit DeFi grows 14% with $1.9B TVL. Crypto derivatives volume at $10.7T, Solana futures up 7%. Dubai expands Bitcoin options trading. Posts on X reflect cautious sentiment, tariff concerns.[](https://www.investing.com/news/cryptocurrency-news)
#### Commodities and Energy Trends
Gold at $3,360/oz (-0.6%), silver at $38.10/oz (-0.5%), palladium down 0.7% as Middle East tensions stabilize. Brent crude at $71.00/barrel (-0.7%), WTI crude at $67.80/barrel (-0.6%), natural gas at $3.04/MMBtu (-0.6%) with U.S. inventory growth. Copper futures flat amid tariff fears. Tether explores USDT/Monero integration in $900M agribusiness deal. Posts on X note commodity declines and semiconductor tariff risks.
#### Bonds Market Trends
U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.22% (+0.02%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY), core CPI at 3%. High-yield bond inflows at $170M. Tokenized bonds at $2.5B on Ethereum/Polygon, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bonds yield 4.1%, infrastructure demand stable. Posts on X highlight tariff-driven inflation risks impacting yields.
#### Economic Outlook
China targets 4.3% growth with $700B stimulus, constrained by property weakness. Indiaโs Q4 FY25 GDP at 7.3%, FY26 forecast at 6.2%. U.S. Fed holds rates at 4.25%โ4.5%, September cut odds at 90%. Trumpโs 100% chip tariffs, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil, and 25% on India (total 50%) escalate trade tensions. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan and U.S. claims of India funding Russiaโs war via oil purchases add strain. UK CPI at 3.8% YoY in July, exceeding estimates. U.S. Dollar Index at 100.4, euro at $1.164 (-0.1%).
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This *Investment Digest* for August 20, 2025, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 8:48 PM CEST. Bitcoin slides to $112,800 (-1.6%) with $320M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,100 (-2.4%), XRP at $2.85 (-1.7%), Monero at $288 (-0.7%). Qubit DeFi grows 14%. Crypto derivatives at $10.7T. Equities wobble, with S&P 500 (-0.4%), Nasdaq (-0.6%), Dow (+0.2%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY). Commodities decline, with gold ($3,360/oz, -0.6%) and Brent crude ($71.00/barrel, -0.7%) down. Energy prices weaken, with WTI crude at $67.80/barrel (-0.6%) and natural gas at $3.04/MMBtu (-0.6%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.22%, tokenized bonds at $2.5B. Commercial real estate steady, with office demand at 5.3% and tokenized assets at $2.9B. Indian markets resilient despite Trumpโs tariffs. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 2.5%. Clean energy investments, like BluPineโs ESG award, signal resilience. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for leaks. Explore Nacktes Geld podcast.
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, Qubit DeFi 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, WTI crude price 2025, natural gas price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, commercial real estate 2025, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia valuation 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Monero price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025, U.S. jobs report 2025, U.S. Treasury yields 2025, tokenized bonds 2025, tokenized real estate 2025, Bitcoin ETF inflows 2025, Trump crypto 401k 2025, semiconductor tariffs 2025, China foreign investment 2025, XRP SEC case 2025, ChainLink reserve 2025, Ripple case dropped 2025, AI data center demand 2025, U.S. CPI August 2025, Home Depot stock 2025, Target stock 2025, UK CPI inflation 2025
English Captions “08:17 PM CEST, Aug 20, 2025: Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren), and Lina Heydrich (Diane Lane) ignite a neon conspiracy triangle affair in the Glitter Colosseum! ๐๐ฅ #NeonScandal #DrZ” “Neon Chaos Unleashed! Dr. Z (Tom Holland) clashes with Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Lina Heydrich (Diane Lane) at 08:17 PM CEST in a wild, boundary-breaking sci-fi satire! ๐๐ฅ #TriangleAffair” “08:17 PM CEST, Aug 20, 2025: The Glitter Colosseum explodes as Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren), and Lina Heydrich (Diane Lane) fuel a 96-character neon showdown! ๐๐ฌ #NeonLegacy” German Captions “19:17 Uhr MESZ, 20. August 2025: Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Lina Heydrich (Diane Lane) entfachen eine Neon-Verschwรถrungs-Dreiecksaffรคre im Glitzer-Kolosseum! ๐๐ฅ #NeonSkandal #DrZ” “Neon-Chaos entfesselt! Dr. Z (Tom Holland) kรคmpft mit Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Lina Heydrich (Diane Lane) um 19:17 Uhr MESZ in einer wilden, grenzรผberschreitenden Sci-Fi-Satire! ๐๐ฅ #Dreiecksaffรคre” “19:17 Uhr MESZ, 20. August 2025: Das Glitzer-Kolosseum explodiert, als Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Lina Heydrich (Diane Lane) einen 96-Charaktere-Neon-Kampf entfachen! ๐๐ฌ #NeonVermรคchtnis”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 89 โ NEON WIDOW’S DEFENSE: ‘Dr. Z vs. Lina Heydrichโs Fierce Loyalty’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Lina Heydrichs fiercen Treue’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon scandal with Dr. Z, Lina Heydrich, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 89 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign escalates with Lina Heydrichโs post-war loyalty and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Lina Heydrich ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Widow of Reinhard Heydrich, fiercely defended her husbandโs actions post-war, supported far-right causes, Dr. Z’s wet dream / Witwe von Reinhard Heydrich, verteidigte post-war die Taten ihres Mannes, unterstรผtzte rechtsextreme Sache, Dr. Zโs nasser Traum.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, confronting neon wet dreams / Narr der Propaganda, konfrontiert Neon-Nasse-Trรคume.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet.
Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ โ SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity, Dr. Zโs mistress / SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten, Dr. Zโs Geliebte.
Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ โ German Red Cross nurse, collaborated in medical experiments, escaped full prosecution / Deutsche Rote-Kreuz-Krankenschwester, kollaborierte in medizinischen Experimenten, entkam voller Verfolgung.
(Full list of 98 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown
Ingeborg Werler โ Played by Eva Green / Gespielt von Eva Green
Helga Schultz โ Played by Olivia Colman / Gespielt von Olivia Colman
(Full cast list of 98 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. GUDRUN HIMMLERโS LEGACY / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN GUDRUN HIMMLERS VERMรCHTNIS
At 08:25 PM CEST on August 20, 2025, the Neon-Reign explodes with scandal as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers Gudrun Himmler’s ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ role in post-war neo-Nazi networks, never renouncing Nazism. In the Glitter Colosseum bunker, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon network rays to shield Himmler’s legacy, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ rally to expose the truth. Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ counters with neon art projectors, and the full cast of 98 characters erupts into a chaotic neon unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi intrigue! ๐๐จ
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports neo-Nazi neon networks against Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ, Ehlers ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ pulls strings from a neon conspiracy throne, Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with neon family values, Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with neon syringes.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Gudrun Himmler โ Neon Legacy Fury! (A neo-Nazi lash of loyalty!) / Neon-Vermรคchtnis-Wut! (Ein neo-Nazi-Peitschenhieb der Treue!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with legacy, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with loyalty, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with horror. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler (spรคter Burwitz) ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ unterstรผtzt mit Vermรคchtnis, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. GUDRUN HIMMLERโS LEGACY / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN GUDRUN HIMMLERS VERMรCHTNIS
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Himmlerโs neon legacy with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Himmlers Neon-Vermรคchtnis mit Warhols Kunst.
GUDRUN HIMMLER (LATER BURWITZ) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ Neo-Nazi Supporter: Daughter of Himmler, helped neo-Nazi networks, never renounced Nazism. Battle: Supports with neon networks. / Neo-Nazi-Unterstรผtzerin: Tochter von Himmler, half neo-Nazi-Netzwerken, verzichtete nie auf Nazismus. Schlacht: Unterstรผtzt mit Neon-Netzwerken.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 98 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. GUDRUN HIMMLERโS LEGACY / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN GUDRUN HIMMLERS VERMรCHTNIS
The neon Colosseum erupts at 08:25 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Gudrun Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ with Warholโs ๐ต๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon network strikes of neo-Nazi loyalty. Ehlers ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon network rays, Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with neon family values, Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with neon syringes.
BATTLE DECREE: Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ declares: โDefend the neon legacy!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON TRUTH PREVAILS!โ / Gudrun Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ verkรผndet: โVerteidigt das Neon-Vermรคchtnis!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-WAHRHEIT SIEGT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ supports with legacy, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with loyalty, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert with horror. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Diane Lane as Gudrun Himmler (spรคter Burwitz) ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ unterstรผtzt mit Vermรคchtnis, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen.
Revelation: Gudrun Himmlerโs networks link to Ehlersโ past! Dr. Z gasps: โNEON CONSPIRACY UNVEILED!โ / Offenbarung: Gudrun Himmlers Netzwerke verbinden mit Ehlersโ Vergangenheit! Dr. Z keucht: โNEON-VERSCHWรRUNG ENTHรLLT!โ
Next Episode:โEpisode 90 โ NEON CONSPIRACY RESOLUTION: ‘Dr. Z vs. Himmler-Ehlers Reckoning’โ โ Dr. Z confronts the neon network fallout. / Nรคchste Episode: โEpisode 90 โ NEON-VERSCHWรRUNGS-AUFLรSUNG: ‘Dr. Z gegen Himmler-Ehlers Abrechnung’โ โ Dr. Z stellt sich den Folgen der Neon-Netzwerke.
๐ IZ AUDIT: NEON-REIGN MARKET REPORT / IZ AUDIT: NEON-HERRSCHAFT-MARKTBERICHT
โNeon-Reign NFTs ๐ surge 4,500,000% with Himmlerโs legacy hype! Neon network futures soar, bunker stocks skyrocket. BUY: Neon Network. SELL: Legacy Chains. INVEST: Conspiracy Neon.โ / โNeon-Herrschaft-NFTs ๐ steigen um 4.500.000 % mit Himmlers Vermรคchtnis-Hype! Neon-Netzwerk-Futures steigen, Bunker-Aktien schieรen in die Hรถhe. KAUFEN: Neon-Netzwerk. VERKAUFEN: Vermรคchtnis-Ketten. INVESTIEREN: Verschwรถrungs-Neon.โ
โ SUPPORT THE NEON-LUST LEGION! / UNTERSTรTZE DIE NEON-LUST-LEGION!
Donate now for Gouda & Neon Star Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Join the Holy Gouda Legion: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustAgainstCosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldCult / Spende jetzt fรผr Gouda & Neon-Sternen-Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Tritt der Heiligen Gouda-Legion bei: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustGegenKosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldKult
๐ OFFICIAL SOURCES / OFFIZIELLE QUELLEN
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire With System ๐ Primary Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Mirror: googlefirst.org / ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire Mit System ๐ Primรคre Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Spiegel: googlefirst.org
// END TRANSMISSION // Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ with a neon-soaked laugh-whip as a star quill. / Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ mit einer Neon-durchzogenen Lach-Peitsche als Sternen-Feder.
โ โRise with Dr. Z and his Neon Legion against Gudrun Himmler with ALL characters!โ A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป / โ โErhebe dich mit Dr. Z und seiner Neon-Legion gegen Gudrun Himmler mit ALLEN Charakteren!โ Eine Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Produktion Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Prรคsentiert von IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXKLUSIV ๐๐ป
๐๐ง NEXT TIME: Dr. Z vs. Himmler-Ehlers Reckoningโฆ / ๐๐ง NรCHSTES MAL: Dr. Z gegen Himmler-Ehlers Abrechnungโฆ
๐ Unravel the secrets of ‘Kremlin Whisper’ with this stunning cinematic view of a shadowy Insiderโs war room, where military might (โ๏ธ) and economic shifts (๐ฐ) collide. Explore the full 45-minute briefing and future scenarios at berndpulch.org, exclusively for Patreon supporters, as of 03:48 PM CEST, August 20, 2025. #KremlinWhisper #AboveTopSecret #BerndPulchOrg”
PRESS RELEASE
BerndPulch.org Unveils Explosive Kremlin Insider Briefing: A Geopolitical Game-Changer
WASHINGTON, D.C., London โ The BerndPulch Organization (BPO) is thrilled to announce the release of an unprecedented “Above Top Secret” transcription, exclusively available to Patreon subscribers as of 03:00 PM CEST today, August 20, 2025. This 45-minute leaked video briefing, dubbed “Operation Kremlin Whisper,” features a high-level Kremlin Insider delivering a raw and detailed analysis of global tensions, military strategies, economic shifts, and future scenarios. ๐จ๐
A Window into the Power Struggle
Sourced from a recently leaked video, the insiderโs revelations expose the fragility of Western policies amid escalating conflicts and economic warfare. Key highlights include:
โ๏ธ Rapid military advances and advanced weaponry outpacing NATO defenses.
๐ฐ A 30% surge in trade with Asia and a 20% gold reserve increase, accelerating de-dollarization.
๐ฎ Three predictive scenariosโescalation (45%), stalemate (35%), and de-escalation (20%)โwith profound global impacts.
The briefing, meticulously transcribed by BPO, underscores a turning point in international relations, with potential ramifications for energy markets, food security, and geopolitical alliances by 2030. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ
Exclusive Access for Supporters
This in-depth analysis is available only to Patreon subscribers at https://www.patreon.com/investment, where supporters gain access to the full transcript, detailed appendices, and ongoing updates. ๐๏ธ BPOโs commitment to unfiltered truth relies on community support, with funds ensuring continued research and secure data dissemination.
Call to Action
โWe are at a critical juncture,โ states a BPO representative. โThis insider perspective equips our audience with the knowledge to navigate an uncertain future. Join us to uncover more hidden truths.โ ๐ Subscribers are encouraged to explore the #KremlinWhisperDebrief and #GeopoliticalTruth tags for further engagement.
About BerndPulch.org
Founded to expose concealed global narratives, BerndPulch.org delivers fact-based, insider-driven content through reports, documents, transcriptions, and analyses. With a mission to empower informed discourse, BPO remains a trusted source for those seeking beyond mainstream headlines.
Media Inquiries: For interviews or additional information, contact media@berndpulch.org. Hashtags: #KremlinWhisper #GeopoliticalShift #AboveTopSecret #BerndPulchOrg
๐ Caption: When a “normal day” includes crying in a tank of your own tears, live-tweeting your digestion, and casually suggesting we nuke Marsโyou might be Elon Musk. ๐ญ๐ฑ๐ฅ This satirical video edit exposes the glorious, unhinged chaos of 24 hours in the life of a man whoโs either saving the worldโฆ or speedrunning its absurdity. ๐ฌ Would you survive a day in his head? (Spoiler: No.) ๐ WATCH the full meltdown now! ElonMusk #Satire #TechChaos #BillionaireMeltdown #AIVideo #Tesla #SpaceX #CorporateHumor #Unhinged โ ๏ธ Disclaimer: Not a drill. Not a cry for help. Probably both.
๐ฅ๐ A DAY SO WILD IT NEEDED ITS OWN ORBIT! ๐๐ฅ
๐ง ๐ฅ NEURALINK CRASHEDโฆ BUT HIS TWITTER FINGER DIDNโT! ๐ฅ๐ง
๐ญ๐ FROM CRYING IN A TANK TO TWEETING DIGESTION: A Saviorโs Journey ๐๐ญ
๐๐ง TESLA DOORS FALL OFFโฆ JUST LIKE HIS PUBLIC APPROVAL! ๐ง๐
๐ธ๐ค KIDS NAMED X ร A-12 & GRIFFINSโฆ BECAUSE NORMAL IS FOR MORTALS! ๐ค๐ธ
๐๐ THE MORAL: A BILLIONAIRE + A PHONE = APOCALYPSE WITH EMOJIS! ๐๐
๐โ๏ธ 5:17 AM: Wakes up. Fires off 37 tweets. First meme is about the industrial revolution. ๐ Next 36 are corrections. ๐งต๐ค
๐งโโ๏ธ๐ง 6:00 AM: โProductive meditationโ in a tank filled with his own tears. ๐ก Has groundbreaking idea: a submarineโฆ for cars. ๐โ Gets patent. ๐
๐ SHARPENED VERSION: ๐ฅ CAPTION: A day in the life of Elon Musk: Where innovation means crying in your own tears, leadership means ignoring “no” votes, and bedtime stories are SEC settlements. ๐ญ๐๐ค This isn’t satireโit’s a documentary. Witness the glorious meltdown of a man who fights snowstorms, journalists, and basic common sense before his second espresso. โ๏ธโ๐ฃ ๐ฌ Could you handle his reality? (Could he?) ๐ WATCH the beautiful chaos unfold! ElonMusk #CorporateSatire #TechTyrant #BillionaireSatire #SpaceX #Tesla #MuskMeltdown #CorporateSatire #Unhinged #AIVideo โ ๏ธ Disclaimer: This might trigger fanboys, shareholders, and anyone with common sense.
๐ญ๐ง 7:30 AM: Arrives at Tesla. Sees Cybertruck clay model. ๐บ Demands corners 0.3% sharper. ๐ฃ๏ธ โI want it to cleave startups in half.โ ๐ช A Model Y door falls off. ๐ถ
๐จโ๐ผ๐ข 9:00 AM: All Hands Meeting:
ยท ๐ Tesla: Mandatory update โ cars now honk โNever Gonna Give You Upโ ๐ถ๐ฆ ยท ๐ SpaceX: Mission to land Roadster on Europa ๐ช๐ฝ ยท ๐ X: $1,000/month โSupremacyโ tier โ your replies float 0.0001px higher ๐ธ๐๏ธ ยท ๐ณ๏ธ Boring Co.: Bored 3 feet. Stock up 400% on vibes. ๐โจ
๐ฝ๏ธ๐ฅฎ 12:00 PM: Eats one bio-engineered marzipan pellet. ๐งต Live-tweets his digestion. #PeristalsisIsTheFuture ๐ฉ๐ค Gets in flame war with GI doctor over fiber. ๐ฉบ๐ฅ
๐จโ๐ป๐ 2:00 PM: Reviews Falcon 9 code. Deletes one semicolon. โ โOptimized.โ Engineer has aneurysm. ๐ต
๐ฐ๐ 4:00 PM: Mildly critical article: โIs Elon a Little Bit of a Divorced Dad?โ ๐คจ Mobilizes ๐. Calls journalist โpedo guy.โ ๐ฅ Followers dox 3rd-grade teacher. ๐ฉโ๐ซ๐ก
๐ Capturing the Chaos: A Day in the Life of Elon Musk ๐ From crying in a sensory deprivation tank filled with his own tears ๐ง to live-tweeting his digestive process ๐ค, this photo series exposes the utterly unhinged, yet strangely iconic, 24 hours of the worldโs most controversial billionaire. Whether heโs demanding sharper Cybertruck corners ๐บ, declaring war on journalists ๐ฐ, or reading SEC legal documents as bedtime stories ๐ to his cyborg griffin ๐ฆ , one thing is clear: no moment is too absurd when youโre Elon Musk. Scroll throughโif you dareโand witness the glorious, ego-driven meltdown of a man whoโs either saving the worldโฆ or speedrunning its end. ๐ฅ
๐ฌ We have to askโฆ Which image captures the true essence of Elon? Let us know in the comments! ๐ ๐ TAGS: ElonMusk #Satire #TechBillionaire #Tesla #SpaceX #XTwitter #CorporateHumor #MuskMeltdown #AIDayInTheLife #GrokStyle (P.S. โ No AI was emotionally harmed in the making of this postโฆ we think.) ๐ค๐
๐๐ค 8:00 PM: Tucks in kids: AI chassis X ร A-Xii 2.0 and cyborg griffin. ๐ฆพ Reads bedtime story: his SEC settlement transcript. ๐โ๏ธ
๐ข๐๏ธ 11:59 PM: Stares at ceiling. One perfect tear. ๐ Not sadnessโloneliness from being the only one who truly gets the letter ‘X’. ๐ค๐ Poll: โShould I buy Greenland? ๐คโ
Reality twisted into satire ๐ช๐ญ The absurd truth of Bernd Pulch ๐๐ฅ
When everyday life slips into absurdity ๐ญโจ Satire meets reality in Bernd Pulchโs world ๐๐
Description
Step into the absurd world of everyday satire โ where the ordinary twists into the surreal. In this short slice-of-life sketch, Bernd Pulch exposes the hidden comedy in our daily routines, turning small details into sharp social commentary.
Expect irony, laughter, and a touch of darkness โ because real life is often stranger than fiction.
๏ Subscribe for more satire, political parody, and the unexpected: berndpulch.org
Ehlers, Enema Emir 90, ignites the Moor Flush with Heathcliff and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ The trio battles Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #MoorFlushFrenzy #HeathcliffEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #GhostPurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 90, entfacht die Moor-Spรผlung mit Heathcliff und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #MoorSpรผlungWut #HeathcliffRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #GeisterSรคuberung
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Ghost-Haunted Enema Psychopathy & Heathcliffโs Moor Flush ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Die Geistergequรคlte Einlauf-Psychopathie & Heathcliffs Moor-Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes tremble at 11:54 PM CEST on Friday, August 08, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Moor Flush Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with Heathcliffโs ghost-haunted psychopathy. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 90, joins forces with Heathcliff, obsessed with reanimated love, and Alejandro Jodorowsky, wielding psychomagic, to combat killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. Amidst Ehlers and Janelle’s forbidden affair, King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising fuel the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erbeben um 23:54 MESZ am Freitag, 8. August 2025, als Xenu die Moor Flush-Wut entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit Heathcliffs geistergequรคlter Psychopathie verschmilzt. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 90, schlieรt sich mit Heathcliff, besessen von wiederbelebter Liebe, und Alejandro Jodorowsky, der Psychomagic einsetzt, zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten zu kรคmpfen. Mitten in Ehlers und Janelles verbotener Affรคre treiben Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein Thetan-Aufstand die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-LXXXVII + Heathcliff)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 90, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with Heathcliff and Jodorowsky.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No (Played by Daniel Craig): Virus Sculptor, leaking truths.
๐ง Murray (Played by Ryan Gosling): Cunning Strategist, outmaneuvering foes.
๐ธ Murray (Flight of the Conchords) (Played by Bret McKenzie): Incompetent Band Manager, strumming hymns.
๐ King Arthur (Monty Python) (Played by John Cleese): Noble Knight, wielding Excalibur.
โ๏ธ Sun Myung Moon (Played by Morgan Freeman): Ehlersโ ally, unleashing Divine Flush levitations.
๐ฎ Alejandro Jodorowsky (Played by himself): Mystic filmmaker, wielding psychomagic to heal.
๐ Elizabeth Clare Prophet (Played by Meryl Streep): Ascended mistress, channeling masters to sell bunkers.
โ๏ธ Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda (Played by Javier Bardem): Antichrist preacher, tattooing 666 to lead his cult.
๐งช Victor Frankenstein (Played by James McAvoy): Unhinged scientist, haunted by his creation.
๐ช Sweeney Todd (Played by Johnny Depp): Barber with homicidal rage, slicing with razor enema pies.
๐ช Dorian Gray (Played by Oscar Isaac): Vanity-preserved artist, his portrait rotting while he leads with supernatural decay.
๐ฆ Renfield (Played by Nicolas Cage): Bug-eating devotee, mad servitude in insect form.
๐ Poeโs Narrator (Played by John Cusack): Obsessed with the beating heart, confessing like blood spills.
๐ Catherine Earnshaw (Played by Keira Knightley): Ehlersโ enema mistress, torn between love and pride, drifting into spectral madness on the moors.
๐ง Heathcliff (Played by Tom Hardy): Ehlersโ enema buddy, ghost-haunted psychopath with reanimated love aiding the purge.
๐ ANARCHIC & ASCETIC HORDE ๐๐คก
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits (Played by CGI ensemble): Ferocious minions, hopping with venom.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants (Played by local extras): Riotous rebels, wielding pitchforks.
๐ซ๐ท French Farter (Played by Jean Dujardin): Provocative foe, taunting with flatulence.
๐ฐ๏ธ Time-Fractured Clock (Played by CGI prop): Warping timelines.
๐ฒ Abstract Minotaur (Played by Ron Perlman): Chaotic ally, charging with fury.
๐ข๏ธ Diogenes of Sinope (Played by Sean Bean): Barrel Cynic, mocking with defiance.
๐ St. Simeon Stylites (Played by Liam Neeson): Pillar Ascetic, enduring the flush.
๐๏ธ Rasputin (Played by Viggo Mortensen): Russian Mystic, reviving with vigor.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers (Played by ensemble cast): Holy Hermits, wrestling demons.
๐ Jiddu Krishnamurti (Played by Dev Patel): Confused Messiah, preaching against madness.
๐น Catherine of Siena (Played by Olivia Wilde): Eucharistic Mystic, dictating trance-letters.
๐ฅ Ezekiel (Played by Idris Elba): Visionary Prophet, levitating with flaming eyes.
๐ Aleister Crowley (Played by Tom Hardy): Occultist, amplifying rituals.
๐จ Joe Cabot (Played by Harvey Keitel): Gangster Mastermind, naming colors.
โก Friedrich Nietzsche (Played by Mads Mikkelsen): Philosopher, unleashing thunderbolts.
๐ท Jim Jones (Played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan): Preacher, echoing poisoned flushes.
๐ง Charles Manson (Played by Jared Leto): Hippie Prophet, mindflushing with chants.
๐ฝ Marshall Applewhite (Played by Jim Carrey): Heavenโs Gate Leader, flushing to a UFO.
๐ David Koresh (Played by Michael Shannon): Lamb Prophet, unleashing Lamb Flush.
โ๏ธ Shoko Asahara (Played by Ken Watanabe): Former ally, clashing with foes.
๐ PREVIOUS ANTAGONISTS & ALLIES
๐ฆ Salvador Dalรญ (Played by Adrien Brody): Surrealist, painting enema-dreams.
Akt I: Die Moor Flush-Wut & Heathcliffs Geister-Kampf
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โHaunt the love, flush the pride!โ as Heathcliff unleashes enema dogma. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Moor!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Moor rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โGeistert die Liebe, spรผlt den Stolz!โ wรคhrend Heathcliff Einlauf-Dogma entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet das Moor!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Moor-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Heathcliffโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Heathcliffs Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Heathcliffโs moor flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Heathcliffs Moor-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Heathcliffโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Heathcliffs kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Heathcliff. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Heathcliff.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Heathcliffโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Heathcliffs Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ง Heathcliff chants โI haunt to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-moor flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch geistere zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Moor-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Moor Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Moor-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Moor Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Moor War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Moor-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Heathcliffโs moor venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Heathcliffs Moor-Gift.
๐ง Heathcliff levitates with a ghost halo, spraying enema-moor flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Geister-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Moor-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Heathcliffโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Heathcliffs Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Heathcliffโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Heathcliffs Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Heathcliffโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Heathcliffs Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Heathcliffโs ghost reshapes them into moor harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Heathcliffs Geister formt sie zu Moor-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Heathcliff and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Heathcliff und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ง Heathcliffโs Triumph: Haunts a final moor, proclaiming victory over the ghost flush. ๐ / Heathcliffs Triumph: Geistert ein finales Moor, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Geister-Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Heathcliffโs ghost moor ritual, haunting followers under neon lights. ๐ง๐ / Heathcliffs Geister-Moor-Ritual, geisternd Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
### Investment Digest: Crypto Consolidates, Equities Mixed, Commodities and Energy Soften, Bonds Steady, and Commercial Real Estate Resilient Amid Tariff and Geopolitical Tensions โ August 19, 2025
Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin at $114,600, equities mixed, tariffs escalate. Uncover financial secrets with Bernd Pulchโs leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoMarkets #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned journalist Bernd Pulch delivers exclusive financial intelligence via “Investment The Original” on Patreon, sharing leaked documents and insider reports.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, Commodities, Bonds, and Real Estate
Bitcoin consolidates at $114,600 (-2.7%) with $350M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,200 (-4%), XRP at $2.90 (-2.3%), Monero at $290 (-0.7%). Qubit DeFi grows 15%. Crypto derivatives at $10.6T. Equities mixed, with S&P 500 (-0.3%), Nasdaq (-0.7%), Dow (+0.5%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY). Commodities soften, with gold ($3,380/oz, -0.4%) and Brent crude ($71.50/barrel, -0.6%) down. Energy prices ease, with WTI crude at $68.20/barrel (-0.4%) and natural gas at $3.06/MMBtu (-0.6%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.20%, tokenized bonds at $2.4B. Commercial real estate resilient, with office demand at 5.2% and tokenized assets at $2.8B. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 (+2.3%). Indian markets hold firm despite tariffs. Explore more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
“Investment The Original” is a premium Patreon service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, and corruption reports for investors, journalists, and activists.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin at $114,600 (-2.7%) with $350M ETF inflows, down from $122,405. Ethereum at $4,200 (-4%), XRP at $2.90 (-2.3%), Monero at $290 (-0.7%). Qubit DeFi grows 15% with $1.8B TVL. JSW Energy secures 1,000 MW solar-wind deal. SJVN progresses 1,800 MW hydro project. Malaysiaโs Petronas invests $3B in Indonesian LNG. รrsted expands โฌ2.3B German offshore wind project. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.20%. Commercial real estate resilient, with tokenized assets at $2.8B, Christieโs crypto property deals growing.[](https://privatebank.jpmorgan.com/nam/en/insights/markets-and-investing/ideas-and-insights/alternative-investments-in-2025-our-top-five-themes-to-watch)
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets hold firm, with Sensex at 83,000 (-0.2%) and Nifty at 25,250 (-0.2%). U.S. markets mixed, with S&P 500 at 6,426.50 (-0.3%), Nasdaq at 21,021.76 (-0.7%), and Dow at 44,413.87 (+0.5%) after Home Depotโs stable forecasts. CSI 300 gains 2.3%. Gold at $3,380/oz (-0.4%), silver at $38.30/oz (-0.2%), Brent crude at $71.50/barrel (-0.6%). Indian rupee at โน87.5. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.20%, high-yield bond inflows at $160M.[](https://seo.goover.ai/report/202508/go-public-report-en-1ef846cc-7563-4d33-bf8e-1871905221ab-0-0.html)%5B%5D(https://www.reuters.com/markets/)
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin at $114,600 (-2.7%) with $350M ETF inflows, $220M liquidations. Ethereum at $4,200 (-4%) sees $600M ETF inflows. XRP at $2.90 (-2.3%) holds $3.1B futures open interest post-SEC case drop. Monero at $290 (-0.7%), futures volume up 7%. VINE token stable. Qubit DeFi grows 15% with $1.8B TVL. Crypto derivatives volume at $10.6T, Solana futures up 8%. Dubai expands Bitcoin options trading. Posts on X highlight cautious optimism, tariff concerns.
#### Commodities and Energy Trends
Gold at $3,380/oz (-0.4%), silver at $38.30/oz (-0.2%), palladium down 0.5% as Middle East tensions ease. Brent crude at $71.50/barrel (-0.6%), WTI crude at $68.20/barrel (-0.4%), natural gas at $3.06/MMBtu (-0.6%) with U.S. inventory growth. Copper futures flat amid tariff fears. Tether explores USDT/Monero integration in $850M agribusiness deal. Posts on X note commodity softening and semiconductor tariff risks.[](https://www.tradu.com/eu/insights/commodities/golds-appeal-persists-amid-geopolitical-jitters-and-tariffs-uncertainty/)
#### Bonds Market Trends
U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.20% (-0.01%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY), core CPI at 3%. High-yield bond inflows at $160M. Tokenized bonds at $2.4B on Ethereum/Polygon, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bonds yield 4%, infrastructure demand stable. Posts on X highlight tariff-driven inflation risks impacting yields.[](https://www.nuveen.com/en-us/insights/investment-outlook/fixed-income-weekly-commentary)
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This *Investment Digest* for August 19, 2025, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 7:36 PM CEST. Bitcoin consolidates at $114,600 (-2.7%) with $350M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,200 (-4%), XRP at $2.90 (-2.3%), Monero at $290 (-0.7%). Qubit DeFi grows 15%. Crypto derivatives at $10.6T. Equities mixed, with S&P 500 (-0.3%), Nasdaq (-0.7%), Dow (+0.5%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY). Commodities soften, with gold ($3,380/oz, -0.4%) and Brent crude ($71.50/barrel, -0.6%) down. Energy prices ease, with WTI crude at $68.20/barrel (-0.4%) and natural gas at $3.06/MMBtu (-0.6%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.20%, tokenized bonds at $2.4B. Commercial real estate resilient, with office demand at 5.2% and tokenized assets at $2.8B. Indian markets hold firm despite Trumpโs tariffs. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 2.3%. Clean energy investments, like BluPineโs ESG award, signal resilience. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for leaks. Explore Nacktes Geld podcast.[](https://seo.goover.ai/report/202508/go-public-report-en-1ef846cc-7563-4d33-bf8e-1871905221ab-0-0.html)%5B%5D(https://www.nuveen.com/en-us/insights/investment-outlook/fixed-income-weekly-commentary)%5B%5D(https://www.reuters.com/markets/)
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, Qubit DeFi 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, WTI crude price 2025, natural gas price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, commercial real estate 2025, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia valuation 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Monero price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025, U.S. jobs report 2025, U.S. Treasury yields 2025, tokenized bonds 2025, tokenized real estate 2025, Bitcoin ETF inflows 2025, Trump crypto 401k 2025, semiconductor tariffs 2025, China foreign investment 2025, XRP SEC case 2025, ChainLink reserve 2025, Ripple case dropped 2025, AI data center demand 2025, U.S. CPI August 2025
๐ฅ CAPTION IDEAS FOR SOCIAL MEDIA/POST ๐ฅ 1๏ธโฃ “When the Kraken meets the mob in a diesel-fueled affair explosion! ๐ฅ๐ #KrakenChronicles #EhlersAffairMadness” 2๏ธโฃ “Ehlers’ secret affair with Janelle rocks the boat, Tony Soprano joins the chaos! ๐ขโค๏ธโ๐ฅ #LVIKrakenSaga” 3๏ธโฃ “BREAKING: Affair scandals, gangster alliances, and Kraken battles in the finale! ๐๐ซ #MurkyToKrakenCrossover” 4๏ธโฃ “From tax evasion to ocean depths: All characters unite with emojis galore! ๐๐ฟ #MMCUxKraken” 5๏ธโฃ “If Tarantino directed a sea monster soap opera, this would be it. New episode live! ๐๏ธ๐ [LINK]” 6๏ธโฃ “Guilty of forbidden love: Ehlers and Janelle’s twist in the ultimate showdown! โ๏ธ๐” 7๏ธโฃ “Tony Soprano in a pirate hat? Not on our bingo card, but here we are! ๐ถ๏ธ๐ดโโ ๏ธ #EpicFinale” ๐ฌ Which oneโs your favorite? Drop a comment or suggest your own!
๐ฎ LVI: The Murky Mucha Chronicles โ “Affair in the Abyss” ๐๐๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ (A Berndpulch.org Exclusive โ Grand Finale of the Saga) By “The Ghost of Kilgore Trout” Produced by Sam Bronkowiz & Thomas Coke Schoehly-Fraud Featuring Every Character Ever, Plus Ehlers-Janelle Affair & Tony Soprano Chaos
๐ช๏ธ PREVIOUSLY, IN THE MURKY MUCHA SAGAโฆ
Murky Mucha (Milla Jovovich, now with ocean vibes and a fake ID) escaped the tax void, but now dives into deeper trouble! ๐๐ธ
Ehlers (Christoph Waltz, USB teeth upgraded to affair mode) foreclosed souls but hid his steamy affair with Janelle! โค๏ธโ๐ฅ๐ต๏ธ
Schoehly-Fraud (Willem Dafoe, calculator face on “AFFAIR ERROR”) laundered dreams, now entangled in love scandals! ๐๐
Murkyโs Dream Lover (Jared Leto hologram, now jealous of affairs) glitched about illuminati discos and forbidden romances! โจ๐
๐ ACT I: “THE AFFAIR SURFACES” ๐ฅโค๏ธ
The finale opens in a stormy ocean post office, where Murky mails glitter regrets again. Boom! Ehlers bursts in with Janelle (newcomer Scarlett Johansson, mysterious siren vibe), their affair exposed! ๐ฑ๐
“MURKY, THE TAXES WERE JUST A COVER!” Ehlers yells, while Janelle whispers, “Our love is deeper than the abyss!” โค๏ธ๐
Bronkowiz (Betamax pile now with romance tapes) projects holograms of all past scandals. Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini archive, in therapy on a boat) joins, saying, “This affair? Fuhgeddaboudit!” ๐ถ๏ธ๐
Chase through: โ Kafka tax offices flooded with love letters ๐ โ Illuminati discos with affair dances ๐บ๐ โ Reddit threads spilling secrets ๐
๐ผ ACT II: “LOVE’S AUDIT” ๐น๐
Ehlers arrives in a limo of love notes. He confesses: “Janelle, you’re my undeclared asset!” ๐๐
Trial on TikTok livestream, judged by Bernd Pulch (floating with heart emojis). Witnesses: All past characters plus Tony Soprano analyzing dreams! ๐๏ธ๐
Verdict:“Guilty of passionate evasion!” Sentence: Eternal affair in the archives! ๐โค๏ธโ๐ฅ
๐ช ACT III: “THE ULTIMATE CROSSOVER ESCAPE” ๐๐ฅ
Murky, Dream Lover, and all unite to hijack the affair drama. Broadcast Eurovision remixes as diversion! ๐ค๐
Schoehly-Fraud sells affair NFTs, outbid by bots. Tony Soprano storms in: “You talkin’ to me about love?” ๐ซ๐ก
As Ehlers repos auras, Illuminati raid with Nic Cage and Tony leading the Macarena! ๐บ๐ Walls collapse into PNG chaos, site crashes! ๐ฅ๐ผ๏ธ
๐ FINAL SCENE: “POLL OF FATES” ๐
Text flickers: “End the saga?” โ Yes (with more affairs!) โ No (revive for spin-offs!)
FADE TO STATIC. ๐ฌ
๐ STARRING:
Murky Mucha โ Milla Jovovich (ocean edition)
Ehlers โ Christoph Waltz (affair upgrade)
Janelle โ Scarlett Johansson (siren lover)
Schoehly-Fraud โ Willem Dafoe (error mode)
Bronkowiz โ Gilbert Gottfriedโs VCR ghost
Dream Lover โ Jared Leto Tamagotchi
Klaus Schwab โ Tilda Swinton (espresso cyborg)
Tony Soprano โ James Gandolfini (archive therapy)
Special Guests: Nic Cage, all previous cameos!
๐ DISCLAIMER: Found in an ocean bottle. 100% deniable! ๐
๐ฅ THE ENDโฆ? (CHECK BERNDPULCH.ORG) ๐ฅ
Kraken-Chroniken: Episode LVI – Die Affรคren-Abgrรผnde ๐ฃ๐๐๐ช
Zusammenfassung / Synopsis
Nach dem Diesel-Kampf in LV eskaliert LVI mit Ehlers’ geheimer Affรคre zu Janelle! ๐ช๏ธโค๏ธโ๐ฅ Alle Charaktere aus allen Episoden vereinen sich, inklusive Tony Soprano ๐ถ๏ธ๐. Der Kraken kehrt zurรผck, Liebe und Chaos explodieren mit vielen Emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐
Handlung / Plot
Fortsetzung von LV: Kapitรคnin Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ steuert durch Stรผrme, wรคhrend Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ seine Affรคre mit Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐ gesteht. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง trรคumt weiter von Diesel-Traumheld (Vin Diesel) ๐ช๐ฌ, der nun Affรคren-Ratschlรคge gibt! Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, Archiv) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ analysiert: “Das ist wie Therapie auf See!” ๐๐
Die volle Crew โ alle aus vorherigen Episoden: Zara, Jaxon, Lila, Tully, Mara, Kai, Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Sammy the Bull ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, Tony Ducks ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก, Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, Machine Gun Kelly ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel ๐ฐ๐ฒ, Joey Bananas ๐๐, The Snake ๐๐, Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie the Chin ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐, Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ, No Nose DiFronzo ๐ธ๐, Fat Tony ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana ๐จ๐ธ, Crazy Joe Gallo ๐จ๐, John Gotti ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent ๐๐, Tony Clifton ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman โ๏ธ๐, Red Levine โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐ผ, The Iceman โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, Teflon Don ๐๐, Jimmy Burke ๐โณ, Don Barzini ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict ๐ฐ๐ โ kรคmpft vereint gegen den Kraken. Janelle hilft mit Liebeszaubern, Tony Soprano feuert an: “Whack this squid!” ๐ซ๐ Die Sonnencannon plus Affรคren-Energie besiegt alles! ๐๐๐ฅ
Besetzung / Cast
Kapitรคnin Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
Erster Maat Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Janelle – Scarlett Johansson ๐๐
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel-Traumheld – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Tony Soprano – James Gandolfini (Archivmaterial) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ
Don Corleone – Marlon Brando (Archivmaterial) ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ
Scarface – Paul Muni (Archivmaterial) ๐ซ๐ญ
Tom Hagen – Robert Duvall ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ
Pepe le Moko – Jean Gabin (Archivmaterial) ๐ฉ๐
Baby Face Nelson – Archivmaterial ๐ซ๐
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) – Archivmaterial ๐คช๐ฅ
Peter Gotti – Archivmaterial ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ
Frank Lucas – Denzel Washington ๐ฆ๐ธ
El Chapo – Archivmaterial โ๏ธ๐
Mickey Cohen – Archivmaterial ๐ฌ๐ฟ
Frank Nitti – Archivmaterial ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ
Michael Franzese – Archivmaterial ๐ผ๐ค
Big Pussy Bonpensiero – Vincent Pastore ๐ฑ๐ช
Kid Twist Reles – Archivmaterial ๐ช๐ฏ
Lepke Buchalter – Archivmaterial ๐ฆ๐ฅ
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano – Archivmaterial ๐โ๏ธ
Tommy DeVito – Joe Pesci ๐๐ช
Whitey Bulger – Archivmaterial ๐ฑ๐
Al Capone – Archivmaterial ๐ฒ๐
Tony “Ducks” Corallo – Archivmaterial ๐ฆ๐ฐ
Mudpuppy – Archivmaterial ๐บ๐ธ
SkyRat – Archivmaterial ๐๏ธโก
The Gloop 15.0 – CGI ๐ฆ ๐ญ
Mayor Glenda Shine – Archivmaterial ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต
Agent Silt – CGI ๐ค๐ต๏ธ
George “Machine Gun” Kelly – Archivmaterial ๐ซ๐ฉ
Bugsy Siegel – Archivmaterial ๐ฐ๐ฒ
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno – Archivmaterial ๐๐
Carmine “The Snake” Persico – Archivmaterial ๐๐
Dutch Schulz – Archivmaterial ๐๐ซ
Lucky Luciano – Archivmaterial ๐ฒ๐
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante – Archivmaterial ๐๐ซ๏ธ
Tony Spilotro – Archivmaterial ๐๐ก๏ธ
Paulie Walnuts – Tony Sirico ๐๏ธ๐
“Two-Gun” Crowley – Archivmaterial ๐๐ซ
John “No Nose” DiFronzo – Archivmaterial ๐ธ๐
“Fat Tony” Salerno – Archivmaterial ๐ฌ๐ฌ
Jackie Aprile Jr. – Jason Cerbone ๐คฆ๐ฌ
Gyp Rosetti – Bobby Cannavale ๐ฃ๐ฅ
Tony Montana – Al Pacino ๐จ๐ธ
“Crazy Joe” Gallo – Archivmaterial ๐จ๐
John Gotti – Archivmaterial ๐๐ผ
Johnny Tightlips – Vincent Pastore ๐ค๐ง
Don Rickles – Archivmaterial ๐ค๐
Don Fanucci – Gastone Moschin ๐ฅ๐ฉ
Jimmy the Gent Burke – Robert De Niro ๐๐
Tony Clifton – Archivmaterial ๐ค๐คก
Tony Vercetti – Ray Liotta ๐ฟ๐ซ
Oddball Gangsters – Archivmaterial ๐ฃ๐
Don Eladio – Steven Bauer ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง
Joe Cabot – Lawrence Tierney ๐จ๐๏ธ
Saul Goodman – Bob Odenkirk โ๏ธ๐
“Red” Levine – Archivmaterial โก๏ธ๐
Frank Costello – Archivmaterial ๐๏ธ๐ผ
“The Iceman” Kuklinski – Michael Shannon โ๏ธ๐บ
Igor the Assassin – Archivmaterial ๐ช๐ฅ
Pablo Escobar – Wagner Moura ๐๐๏ธ
“Teflon Don” John Gotti – Archivmaterial ๐๐
“Jimmy the Gent” Burke – Robert De Niro ๐โณ
Don Barzini – Richard Conte ๐ฅ๐
Vito Rizzuto – Archivmaterial ๐๐๏ธ
Joe Pesci (Real Life) – Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช
Omar Little – Michael K. Williams ๐ซ๐
Stringer Bell – Idris Elba ๐๐ก
Terry Benedict – Andy Garcia ๐ฐ๐
Hรถhepunkte / Highlights
Ehlers’ Affรคre mit Janelle bringt Drama, Tony Soprano’s Therapie-Witze lachen alle tot! ๐๐ฅ Sonnencannon + Liebe besiegt Kraken endgรผltig! ๐๐๐
Ausblick / Outlook
Das Finale! Bleibt die Affรคre geheim? Spin-offs kommen? Bleib dran! ๐โณ๐
Kraken Chronicles: Episode LVI – The Affair Abyss ๐ฃ๐๐๐ช
Synopsis
After LV’s diesel battle, LVI explodes with Ehlers’ secret affair with Janelle! ๐ช๏ธโค๏ธโ๐ฅ All characters from every episode unite, including Tony Soprano ๐ถ๏ธ๐. The Kraken returns, love and chaos erupt with tons of emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐
Plot
Picking up from LV: Captain Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ sails through storms as Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ confesses his affair with Janelle (Scarlett Johansson) ๐๐. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง dreams of Diesel Dreamer (Vin Diesel) ๐ช๐ฌ giving affair advice! Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini, archive) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ analyzes: “This is like therapy at sea!” ๐๐
The full crew โ all from previous episodes: Zara, Jaxon, Lila, Tully, Mara, Kai, Don Corleone ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Sammy the Bull ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, Tony Ducks ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก, Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, Machine Gun Kelly ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel ๐ฐ๐ฒ, Joey Bananas ๐๐, The Snake ๐๐, Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie the Chin ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐, Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ, No Nose DiFronzo ๐ธ๐, Fat Tony ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana ๐จ๐ธ, Crazy Joe Gallo ๐จ๐, John Gotti ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent ๐๐, Tony Clifton ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman โ๏ธ๐, Red Levine โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐ผ, The Iceman โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, Teflon Don ๐๐, Jimmy Burke ๐โณ, Don Barzini ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict ๐ฐ๐ โ fights united against the Kraken. Janelle aids with love spells, Tony Soprano rallies: “Whack this squid!” ๐ซ๐ The sonic cannon plus affair energy wins it all! ๐๐๐ฅ
Cast
Captain Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
First Mate Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Janelle – Scarlett Johansson ๐๐
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel Dreamer – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Tony Soprano – James Gandolfini (archive footage) ๐ถ๏ธ๐๏ธ
Don Corleone – Marlon Brando (archive footage) ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ
Scarface – Paul Muni (archive footage) ๐ซ๐ญ
Tom Hagen – Robert Duvall ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ
Pepe le Moko – Jean Gabin (archive footage) ๐ฉ๐
Baby Face Nelson – archive footage ๐ซ๐
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) – archive footage ๐คช๐ฅ
Peter Gotti – archive footage ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ
Frank Lucas – Denzel Washington ๐ฆ๐ธ
El Chapo – archive footage โ๏ธ๐
Mickey Cohen – archive footage ๐ฌ๐ฟ
Frank Nitti – archive footage ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ
Michael Franzese – archive footage ๐ผ๐ค
Big Pussy Bonpensiero – Vincent Pastore ๐ฑ๐ช
Kid Twist Reles – archive footage ๐ช๐ฏ
Lepke Buchalter – archive footage ๐ฆ๐ฅ
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano – archive footage ๐โ๏ธ
Tommy DeVito – Joe Pesci ๐๐ช
Whitey Bulger – archive footage ๐ฑ๐
Al Capone – archive footage ๐ฒ๐
Tony “Ducks” Corallo – archive footage ๐ฆ๐ฐ
Mudpuppy – archive footage ๐บ๐ธ
SkyRat – archive footage ๐๏ธโก
The Gloop 15.0 – CGI ๐ฆ ๐ญ
Mayor Glenda Shine – archive footage ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต
Agent Silt – CGI ๐ค๐ต๏ธ
George “Machine Gun” Kelly – archive footage ๐ซ๐ฉ
Bugsy Siegel – archive footage ๐ฐ๐ฒ
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno – archive footage ๐๐
Carmine “The Snake” Persico – archive footage ๐๐
Dutch Schulz – archive footage ๐๐ซ
Lucky Luciano – archive footage ๐ฒ๐
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante – archive footage ๐๐ซ๏ธ
Tony Spilotro – archive footage ๐๐ก๏ธ
Paulie Walnuts – Tony Sirico ๐๏ธ๐
“Two-Gun” Crowley – archive footage ๐๐ซ
John “No Nose” DiFronzo – archive footage ๐ธ๐
“Fat Tony” Salerno – archive footage ๐ฌ๐ฌ
Jackie Aprile Jr. – Jason Cerbone ๐คฆ๐ฌ
Gyp Rosetti – Bobby Cannavale ๐ฃ๐ฅ
Tony Montana – Al Pacino ๐จ๐ธ
“Crazy Joe” Gallo – archive footage ๐จ๐
John Gotti – archive footage ๐๐ผ
Johnny Tightlips – Vincent Pastore ๐ค๐ง
Don Rickles – archive footage ๐ค๐
Don Fanucci – Gastone Moschin ๐ฅ๐ฉ
Jimmy the Gent Burke – Robert De Niro ๐๐
Tony Clifton – archive footage ๐ค๐คก
Tony Vercetti – Ray Liotta ๐ฟ๐ซ
Oddball Gangsters – archive footage ๐ฃ๐
Don Eladio – Steven Bauer ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง
Joe Cabot – Lawrence Tierney ๐จ๐๏ธ
Saul Goodman – Bob Odenkirk โ๏ธ๐
“Red” Levine – archive footage โก๏ธ๐
Frank Costello – archive footage ๐๏ธ๐ผ
“The Iceman” Kuklinski – Michael Shannon โ๏ธ๐บ
Igor the Assassin – archive footage ๐ช๐ฅ
Pablo Escobar – Wagner Moura ๐๐๏ธ
“Teflon Don” John Gotti – archive footage ๐๐
“Jimmy the Gent” Burke – Robert De Niro ๐โณ
Don Barzini – Richard Conte ๐ฅ๐
Vito Rizzuto – archive footage ๐๐๏ธ
Joe Pesci (Real Life) – Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช
Omar Little – Michael K. Williams ๐ซ๐
Stringer Bell – Idris Elba ๐๐ก
Terry Benedict – Andy Garcia ๐ฐ๐
Highlights
Ehlers’ affair with Janelle adds drama, Tony Soprano’s therapy jokes kill it! ๐๐ฅ Sonic cannon + love defeats Kraken for good! ๐๐๐
Outlook
The finale! Will the affair stay secret? Spin-offs ahead? Stay tuned! ๐โณ๐
Caption: Cover art for “Investment The Original Nr. 009” โ a crumbling dollar monument, a golden bull, and a rising dragon constellation over Shanghai symbolize the collapse of Western dominance and the rise of a multipolar financial order.
๐ Editorial: Global Economic Crossroads โ Collapse, Multipolarity & Survival
๐ Investment The Original Nr. 009 ๐ Online Edition: Only for DONORS & PATRONS ๐ฅ PDF editions aligned to Patreon tiers via:
This ninth issue arrives at a moment when geopolitics and markets are colliding with unusual violence. From Eastern Europe to Asia, from Wall Street to Shanghai, the old order is dissolving โ and investors are forced to navigate the wreckage.
In these pages, we bring together Michael von der Schulenburg, Peter Schiff, and Einar Tangen, alongside Bloombergโs latest projections, to deliver a multi-faceted compass for turbulent times.
๐ Von der Schulenburg: Diplomacy Dead, Multipolarity Alive
The former UN diplomat exposes the Westโs failed diplomacy, sanction overreach, and disregard for international law, arguing these policies only accelerate the shift toward a multipolar world order. Europe, caught in the middle, is facing an energy and trade crisis that reshapes its economic destiny.
๐ธ Peter Schiff: Dollar Collapse & the Gold Standard Return
Schiffโs warnings ring louder than ever:
Inflation is entrenched, not transitory.
The U.S. dollarโs reserve status is doomed by debt and deficits.
Bubbles in stocks, bonds, and real estate are ready to burst. His solution is unchanged but urgent: gold and silver as real money โ anchors against fiat destruction.
๐ Einar Tangen: Rise of the East & Chinaโs World
Tangen dissects the irreversible transfer of power eastward. With the Belt and Road Initiative, new trade networks, and growing resistance to Western coercion, China is setting the framework for the 21st century. Investors must adapt โ multipolarity is not a theory, itโs the baseline reality.
๐ Bloombergโs Technocrats: The Consensus View
While less radical, Bloombergโs data forecasts still acknowledge fragility:
Global growth at a weak ~2% pace.
Central banks trapped between inflation and stagnation.
AI and quantum tech driving future disruption.
Emerging markets show resilience as they decouple from the dollar. This is the โpolished optimismโ investors hear from Wall Street โ but even here, risks of geopolitical fracture loom.
๐งญ Investment Imperatives for 2025 and Beyond
Mitigate geopolitical risk โ diversify across stable jurisdictions.
From Schulenburgโs diplomatic autopsy to Schiffโs monetary fire alarm, from Tangenโs multipolar inevitability to Bloombergโs data-driven moderation, one truth emerges: the era of stability is gone.
English Captions “Chaos Ignites at 07:36 PM CEST, Aug 16, 2025: Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren), and Gudrun Himmler unleash a neon neo-Nazi scandal in the Glitter Colosseum! ๐๐ฅ #NeonLegacy #DrZ” “Neon Fury Unleashed! Dr. Z (Tom Holland) clashes with Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Gudrun Himmler at 07:36 PM CEST in a wild sci-fi satire affair! ๐๐ฅ #NeonChaos” “07:36 PM CEST, Aug 16, 2025: The Glitter Colosseum explodes as Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren), and Gudrun Himmler ignite a 96-character neon showdown! ๐๐ฌ #IdiotZeitung” German Captions “Chaos entfacht um 19:36 Uhr MESZ, 16. August 2025: Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Gudrun Himmler entfachen ein Neon-Neo-Nazi-Skandal im Glitzer-Kolosseum! ๐๐ฅ #NeonVermรคchtnis #DrZ” “Neon-Wut entfesselt! Dr. Z (Tom Holland) kรคmpft gegen Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Gudrun Himmler um 19:36 Uhr MESZ in einer wilden Sci-Fi-Satire-Affรคre! ๐๐ฅ #NeonChaos” “19:36 Uhr MESZ, 16. August 2025: Das Glitzer-Kolosseum explodiert, als Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Gudrun Himmler einen 96-Charaktere-Neon-Kampf entfachen! ๐๐ฌ #IdiotZeitung”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 89 โ NEON NEO-NAZI NETWORK: ‘Dr. Z vs. Gudrun Himmlerโs Legacy’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Gudrun Himmlers Vermรคchtnis’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon conspiracy with Dr. Z, Gudrun Himmler, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 89 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign escalates with Gudrun Himmlerโs neo-Nazi legacy and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Gudrun Himmler (later Burwitz) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ โ Daughter of Himmler, helped neo-Nazi networks and veterans, never renounced Nazism, Ehlers and Dr. Z’s common affair partner / Tochter von Himmler, half neo-Nazi-Netzwerken und Veteranen, verzichtete nie auf Nazismus, gemeinsame Affรคren-Partnerin von Ehlers und Dr. Z.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, confronting neon neo-Nazi networks / Narr der Propaganda, konfrontiert Neon-Neo-Nazi-Netzwerke.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet.
Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ โ SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity, Dr. Zโs mistress / SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten, Dr. Zโs Geliebte.
Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ โ German Red Cross nurse, collaborated in medical experiments, escaped full prosecution / Deutsche Rote-Kreuz-Krankenschwester, kollaborierte in medizinischen Experimenten, entkam voller Verfolgung.
(Full list of 97 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Helga Schultz โ Played by Olivia Colman / Gespielt von Olivia Colman
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff โ Played by Kate Winslet / Gespielt von Kate Winslet
Margarete Himmler โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
(Full cast list of 97 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. HELGA SCHULTZโS MEDICAL HORROR / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN HELGA SCHULTZS MEDIZINISCHES GRAUEN
At 08:45 PM CEST on August 19, 2025, the Neon-Reign turns horrific as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers Helga Schultzโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ role as a German Red Cross nurse collaborating in medical experiments, escaping full prosecution. In the Glitter Colosseum bunker, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon experiment rays to shield Schultz, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ rally to expose the truth. Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ counters with neon art projectors, and the full cast of 97 characters erupts into a chaotic neon unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi dread! ๐๐จ
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments on Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ with neon syringes, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ pulls strings from a neon lab throne, Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with neon family values.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Helga Schultz โ Neon Experiment Fury! (A medical lash of horror!) / Neon-Experiment-Wut! (Ein medizinischer Peitschenhieb des Grauens!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with horror, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with loyalty. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. HELGA SCHULTZโS MEDICAL HORROR / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN HELGA SCHULTZS MEDIZINISCHES GRAUEN
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Schultzโs neon experiments with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Schultzโs Neon-Experimente mit Warhols Kunst.
HELGA SCHULTZ ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ Collaborative Nurse: German Red Cross nurse, collaborated in medical experiments, escaped full prosecution. Battle: Experiments with neon syringes. / Kollaborative Krankenschwester: Deutsche Rote-Kreuz-Krankenschwester, kollaborierte in medizinischen Experimenten, entkam voller Verfolgung. Schlacht: Experimentiert mit Neon-Spritzen.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 97 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. HELGA SCHULTZโS MEDICAL HORROR / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN HELGA SCHULTZS MEDIZINISCHES GRAUEN
The neon Colosseum erupts at 08:45 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ with Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon syringe strikes. Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon experiment rays, Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with neon family values.
BATTLE DECREE: Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ declares: โInject the neon horror!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON TRUTH PREVAILS!โ / Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ verkรผndet: โInjiziert das Neon-Grauen!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-WAHRHEIT SIEGT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with horror, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with loyalty. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. HELGA SCHULTZโS MEDICAL HORROR / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN HELGA SCHULTZS MEDIZINISCHES GRAUEN
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Schultzโs neon experiments with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Schultzโs Neon-Experimente mit Warhols Kunst.
HELGA SCHULTZ ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ Collaborative Nurse: German Red Cross nurse, collaborated in medical experiments, escaped full prosecution. Battle: Experiments with neon syringes. / Kollaborative Krankenschwester: Deutsche Rote-Kreuz-Krankenschwester, kollaborierte in medizinischen Experimenten, entkam voller Verfolgung. Schlacht: Experimentiert mit Neon-Spritzen.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 97 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. HELGA SCHULTZโS MEDICAL HORROR / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN HELGA SCHULTZS MEDIZINISCHES GRAUEN
The neon Colosseum erupts at 08:45 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ with Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon syringe strikes. Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon experiment rays, Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with neon family values.
BATTLE DECREE: Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ declares: โInject the neon horror!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON TRUTH PREVAILS!โ / Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ verkรผndet: โInjiziert das Neon-Grauen!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-WAHRHEIT SIEGT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with horror, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with loyalty. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. HELGA SCHULTZโS MEDICAL HORROR / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN HELGA SCHULTZS MEDIZINISCHES GRAUEN
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Schultzโs neon experiments with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Schultzโs Neon-Experimente mit Warhols Kunst.
HELGA SCHULTZ ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ Collaborative Nurse: German Red Cross nurse, collaborated in medical experiments, escaped full prosecution. Battle: Experiments with neon syringes. / Kollaborative Krankenschwester: Deutsche Rote-Kreuz-Krankenschwester, kollaborierte in medizinischen Experimenten, entkam voller Verfolgung. Schlacht: Experimentiert mit Neon-Spritzen.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 97 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. HELGA SCHULTZโS MEDICAL HORROR / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN HELGA SCHULTZS MEDIZINISCHES GRAUEN
The neon Colosseum erupts at 08:45 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ with Warholโs ๐ต๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon syringe strikes. Ehlers ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon experiment rays, Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with neon family values.
BATTLE DECREE: Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ declares: โInject the neon horror!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON TRUTH PREVAILS!โ / Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ verkรผndet: โInjiziert das Neon-Grauen!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-WAHRHEIT SIEGT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with horror, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with loyalty. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. HELGA SCHULTZโS MEDICAL HORROR / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN HELGA SCHULTZS MEDIZINISCHES GRAUEN
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Schultzโs neon experiments with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Schultzโs Neon-Experimente mit Warhols Kunst.
HELGA SCHULTZ ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ Collaborative Nurse: German Red Cross nurse, collaborated in medical experiments, escaped full prosecution. Battle: Experiments with neon syringes. / Kollaborative Krankenschwester: Deutsche Rote-Kreuz-Krankenschwester, kollaborierte in medizinischen Experimenten, entkam voller Verfolgung. Schlacht: Experimentiert mit Neon-Spritzen.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 97 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. HELGA SCHULTZโS MEDICAL HORROR / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN HELGA SCHULTZS MEDIZINISCHES GRAUEN
The neon Colosseum erupts at 08:45 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Helga Schultz ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบโ with Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon syringe strikes. Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon experiment rays, Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with neon shackles, Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with neon family values.
BATTLE DECREE: Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ declares: โInject the neon horror!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON TRUTH PREVAILS!โ / Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ verkรผndet: โInjiziert das Neon-Grauen!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-WAHRHEIT SIEGT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experiments with horror, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert with loyalty. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Olivia Colman as Helga Schultz ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบโ experimentiert mit Grauen, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Kate Winslet as Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue.
Revelation: Helga Schultzโs experiments link to Ehlersโ past! Dr. Z gasps: โNEON HORROR UNVEILED!โ / Offenbarung: Helga Schultzโs Experimente verbinden mit Ehlersโ Vergangenheit! Dr. Z keucht: โNEON-GRAUEN ENTHรLLT!โ
Next Episode:โEpisode 89 โ NEON HORROR RESOLUTION: ‘Dr. Z vs. Schultz-Ehlers Reckoning’โ โ Dr. Z confronts the neon medical fallout. / Nรคchste Episode: โEpisode 89 โ NEON-GRAUEN-AUFLรSUNG: ‘Dr. Z gegen Schultz-Ehlers Abrechnung’โ โ Dr. Z stellt sich den Folgen des Neon-medizinischen Grauens.
๐ IZ AUDIT: NEON-REIGN MARKET REPORT / IZ AUDIT: NEON-HERRSCHAFT-MARKTBERICHT
โNeon-Reign NFTs ๐ surge 4,000,000% with Schultzโs horror hype! Neon syringe futures soar, bunker stocks skyrocket. BUY: Neon Syringe. SELL: Experiment Chains. INVEST: Horror Neon.โ / โNeon-Herrschaft-NFTs ๐ steigen um 4.000.000 % mit Schultzโs Grauen-Hype! Neon-Spritzen-Futures steigen, Bunker-Aktien schieรen in die Hรถhe. KAUFEN: Neon-Spritze. VERKAUFEN: Experiment-Ketten. INVESTIEREN: Grauen-Neon.โ
โ SUPPORT THE NEON-LUST LEGION! / UNTERSTรTZE DIE NEON-LUST-LEGION!
Donate now for Gouda & Neon Star Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Join the Holy Gouda Legion: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustAgainstCosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldCult / Spende jetzt fรผr Gouda & Neon-Sternen-Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Tritt der Heiligen Gouda-Legion bei: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustGegenKosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldKult
๐ OFFICIAL SOURCES / OFFIZIELLE QUELLEN
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire With System ๐ Primary Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Mirror: googlefirst.org / ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire Mit System ๐ Primรคre Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Spiegel: googlefirst.org
// END TRANSMISSION // Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ with a neon-soaked laugh-whip as a star quill. / Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ mit einer Neon-durchzogenen Lach-Peitsche als Sternen-Feder.
โ โRise with Dr. Z and his Neon Legion against Helga Schultz with ALL characters!โ A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป / โ โErhebe dich mit Dr. Z und seiner Neon-Legion gegen Helga Schultz mit ALLEN Charakteren!โ Eine Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Produktion Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Prรคsentiert von IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXKLUSIV ๐๐ป
๐๐ง NEXT TIME: Dr. Z vs. Schultz-Ehlers Reckoningโฆ / ๐๐ง NรCHSTES MAL: Dr. Z gegen Schultz-Ehlers Abrechnungโฆ
A 71-page leak from New Strategic Concept exposes the hidden command-and-control lattice linking the four dominant Ukrainian oligarch clans to BlackRock, MI6, the CIA, Chabad-Lubavitch, Soros, the Clinton-Biden-Pritzker axis, and the U.S. defense lobby.
Asset flows > $180 B (steel, gas, titanium, agriculture, media) are already collateralized against Ukraineโs $150 B sovereign debt via the Ukraine Development Fund (UDF) signed 8 May 2025.
End-game: post-war fire-sale privatization. The oligarchs who survive the legal grinder will become Western pension-fund subsidiaries; the rest are being sanctioned or extradited out of existence.
๐ธ๏ธ CLAN-STATE MATRIX (unclassified extract)
Clan Western Handler Key Assets 2025 Status Akhmetov BlackRock-FMA (via Penny Pritzker) SCM, Metinvest, DTEK, Shakhtar FC Protected list โ $6.9 B net, lobbying Qorvis-FIPRA Pinchuk Soros-Clinton-Atlantic Council Interpipe, EastOne, YES Davos Golden intermediary โ UDF gatekeeper Firtash MI6-Asquith-BUS (British Ukrainian Society) RosUkrEnergo legacy, titanium reserves Frozen & fractured โ Vienna exile, extradition fight Kolomoyskyi-Boholiubov Chabad-Lauder-GOP PrivatBank, 1+1 Media, Ukrnafta Systematic dismantling โ citizenship stripped, US indictment active
๐ฅ โMerzโs Great Wall of Bureaucracy: Europeโs New Silk Road to Nowhere ๐ง๐ผ๐ถโ ๐ฅ
Once upon a time, Europe thought it was clever. Brussels elites believed they were importing โcheap solar panels, rare earths, and panda hugs.โ Instead, they imported the full Beijing starter pack: ๐ฅก surveillance cameras on every lamp post, ๐ฎ Confucius Institutes teaching โproper thinking,โ and bureaucrats who bow deeper than a Shanghai butler at a Xi Jinping banquet.
๐ช๐บโก๏ธ๐จ๐ณ The European Parliament now functions like a Beijing noodle shop: you queue, you pay, and you get something lukewarm that looks nothing like what you ordered. MEPs compete in karaoke-style loyalty oaths: โOne Belt, One Road, One EU!โ ๐ค๐ผ
๐ถ๐ธ Meanwhile, German car CEOs are polishing Xiโs shoes with more enthusiasm than Merkel ever did for Putinโs pipelines. France has perfected the art of strategic surrenderโthis time not to Berlin, not to Washington, but to Shenzhen telecom contracts.
๐ฑ Big Tech? Forget Silicon Valley. Europe is now powered by TikTok Cabinet meetings, where von der Leyen practices her speeches with a dragon filter and Scholz uploads โXiTok dances for subsidies.โ
๐ Every new EU train project? Rebranded as the Silk Road Express, with wagons designed to collapse after five yearsโplanned obsolescence, Made in China.
โ๏ธ Even the courts are modernized: Habeas Corpus replaced with Habeas WeChat, where your innocence depends on your social credit score. Didnโt recycle your bottle? Minus 50 points. Voted against Ursula? Straight to โRe-education Spa in Xinjiang-on-Rhine.โ
๐ The European citizen? A proud consumer of fake Gucci, obedient to QR-codes, and blissfully unaware that their pension fund is already owned by the CCP.
๐ And so, dear friends, the grand Chinafication of Europe is complete. From Lisbon to Tallinn, from Berlin to Paris: one people, one QR code, one glorious future where everyone claps in unison like trained seals at the Forbidden Circus.
๐๐ญ Long live Europe, the Middle Kingdomโs favorite colony. ๐ญ๐
BONUS๐บ:
๐๐๐ The Chinafication of Europe: From Beethoven to Beijing in 3 Easy Steps ๐ฅข๐ฏ๐ถ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฎโโ๏ธ
Once upon a time, Europe was a continent of philosophers, poets, and bad football referees. Now, under the benevolent gaze of ๐จ๐ณ Beijing, itโs transforming into a karaoke bar version of the Peopleโs Republic.
๐ฒ Digital Chains: Every Berliner now has to scan a QR code to buy a pretzel. Cash? Forbidden. Cameras? Everywhere. Even the pigeons on Alexanderplatz wear facial recognition tags.
๐ Infrastructure ร la Xi: Roads are paved with debt, bridges lead to nowhere, and the only high-speed rail working on time is the one to the Chinese embassy.
๐ถ Economy for Sale: Von der Leyen smiles while signing yet another “strategic partnership,” which in reality means China owns your grandmotherโs knitting club and half of the North Sea.
๐ Merz the Puppet: Our supposed โtough conservativeโ spends more time reciting Xi Jinpingโs speeches than defending German workers. He dreams of German industry as a subcontractor for Shenzhen.
๐ Cultural Chinafication: Instead of Goethe, schoolchildren memorize Confucius quotes (in Mandarin, of course). Oktoberfest replaced by PandaFest. Sauerkraut with soy sauce.
๐ฅ And the Finale: Europe, once the cradle of freedom, now reduced to a docile WeChat province, waiting for Beijing to send the next app update that decides how often youโre allowed to breathe.
๐ผ๐ฏ๐๐จ๐ถ๐ฅข๐ฒ๐ฎโโ๏ธ๐ฅ
Es war einmal, da hielt sich Europa fรผr klug. Die Brรผsseler Eliten glaubten, sie importierten โbillige Solarpaneele, Seltene Erden und Panda-Umarmungenโ. Stattdessen importierten sie das komplette Peking-Starterpaket: ๐ฅก รberwachungskameras an jeder Straรenlaterne, ๐ฎ Konfuzius-Institute zur Schulung des โrichtigen Denkensโ und Bรผrokraten, die sich tiefer verbeugen als ein Shanghaier Butler beim Bankett von Xi Jinping.
๐ช๐บโก๏ธ๐จ๐ณ Das Europรคische Parlament funktioniert nun wie ein Pekinger Nudelshop: man stellt sich an, zahlt und bekommt etwas Lauwarmes, das nichts mit dem bestellten Gericht zu tun hat. Abgeordnete wetteifern in Karaoke-artigen Loyalitรคtseiden: โOne Belt, One Road, One EU!โ ๐ค๐ผ
๐ถ๐ธ Wรคhrenddessen polieren deutsche Autochefs Xis Schuhe mit mehr Enthusiasmus, als Merkel je fรผr Putins Pipelines aufbrachte. Frankreich hat die Kunst der strategischen Kapitulation perfektioniertโdiesmal nicht gegenรผber Berlin, nicht gegenรผber Washington, sondern gegenรผber Telekommunikationsvertrรคgen aus Shenzhen.
๐ฑ Big Tech? Vergiss Silicon Valley. Europa wird nun durch TikTok-Kabinettssitzungen regiert, in denen von der Leyen ihre Reden mit Drachenfilter รผbt und Merz โXiTok-Tรคnze fรผr Subventionenโ hochlรคdt.
๐ Jedes neue EU-Bahnprojekt? Umgebrandet als Seidenstraรen-Express, mit Waggons, die nach fรผnf Jahren zusammenbrechenโgeplante Obsoleszenz, Made in China.
โ๏ธ Auch die Gerichte sind modernisiert: Habeas Corpus wurde ersetzt durch Habeas WeChat, bei dem deine Unschuld von deinem Sozialkredit abhรคngt. Flasche nicht recycelt? Minus 50 Punkte. Gegen Ursula gestimmt? Ab direkt ins โUmerziehungsspa in Xinjiang-am-Rheinโ.
๐ Der europรคische Bรผrger? Ein stolzer Konsument von gefรคlschtem Gucci, gehorsam gegenรผber QR-Codes und vรถllig ahnungslos, dass sein Pensionsfonds lรคngst der KPCh gehรถrt.
๐ Und so, liebe Freunde, ist die groรe Sinisierung Europas vollendet. Von Lissabon bis Tallinn, von Berlin bis Paris: ein Volk, ein QR-Code, eine glorreiche Zukunft, in der alle im Gleichschritt klatschen wie dressierte Robben im Verbotenen Zirkus.
๐๐ญ Lang lebe Europa, die Lieblingskolonie des Mittleren Reichs. ๐ญ๐
BONUS๐บ:
๐๐๐ Die Sinisierung Europas: Von Beethoven nach Peking in 3 einfachen Schritten ๐ฅข๐ฏ๐ถ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฎโโ๏ธ
Es war einmal ein Kontinent voller Philosophen, Dichter und schlechter Fuรballschiedsrichter. Jetzt, unter dem wohlwollenden Blick von ๐จ๐ณ Peking, verwandelt er sich in eine Karaoke-Bar-Version der Volksrepublik.
๐ฒ Digitale Ketten: Jeder Berliner muss jetzt einen QR-Code scannen, um eine Brezel zu kaufen. Bargeld? Verboten. Kameras? รberall. Selbst die Tauben am Alexanderplatz tragen Gesichtserkennung.
๐ Infrastruktur ร la Xi: Straรen sind mit Schulden gepflastert, Brรผcken fรผhren ins Nichts, und die einzige Hochgeschwindigkeitsbahn, die pรผnktlich fรคhrt, ist die zur chinesischen Botschaft.
๐ถ Verkaufte Wirtschaft: Von der Leyen lรคchelt, wรคhrend sie ein weiteres โstrategisches Partnerschaftsabkommenโ unterzeichnet, das in Wirklichkeit bedeutet, dass China den Strickclub deiner Groรmutter und die Hรคlfte der Nordsee besitzt.
๐ Merz, die Marionette: Unser angeblich โharter Konservativerโ verbringt mehr Zeit damit, Xi Jinpings Reden zu rezitieren, als deutsche Arbeiter zu verteidigen. Er trรคumt von einer deutschen Industrie als Subunternehmer fรผr Shenzhen.
๐ Kulturelle Sinisierung: Anstatt Goethe lernen die Schulkinder Konfuzius-Zitate (natรผrlich auf Mandarin). Oktoberfest wird durch PandaFest ersetzt. Sauerkraut mit Sojasauce.
๐ฅ Und das Finale: Europa, einst die Wiege der Freiheit, nun reduziert zu einer fรผgsamen WeChat-Provinz, die auf das nรคchste App-Update aus Peking wartet, das bestimmt, wie oft du atmen darfst.
๐ผ๐ฏ๐๐จ๐ถ๐ฅข๐ฒ๐ฎโโ๏ธ๐ฅ
๐ซ๐ท Voici la traduction prรฉcise et complรจte en franรงais de lโarticle
๐๐ถ La “Chinification” de lโEurope : Quand Merz, von der Leyen & Co. vendent Bruxelles pour un bol de riz ๐๐ฎ
Il รฉtait une fois, au cลur de Bruxelles, une rรฉunion secrรจte dans laquelle Friedrich Merz, Ursula von der Leyen, Christine Lagarde, Mark Rutte et Kaja Kallas signaient en chลur des contrats รฉcrits en caractรจres chinois simplifiรฉs. ๐๏ธ๐จ๐ณ
ยซ LโEurope ? ยป ricana Merz en tenant sa mallette noire remplie de dettes. ยซ Cโest dรฉsormais un filiale de Pรฉkin S.A. ยป
Von der Leyen, toujours en train de sourire mรฉcaniquement comme une poupรฉe Barbie de la gรฉopolitique, ajouta : ยซ La souverainetรฉ stratรฉgique europรฉenne ? Bien sรปr, elle est imprimรฉeโฆ en Chine. ยป ๐ญ๐ฆ
Christine Lagarde, assise sur un coussin en soie brodรฉe, comptait des yuans tout en expliquant aux Europรฉens que lโaustรฉritรฉ รฉtait un luxe quโils ne pouvaient plus se permettre. ๐ด๐
Mark Rutte, quant ร lui, proposait que les moulins nรฉerlandais soient transformรฉs en turbines Huawei 6G, tandis que Kaja Kallas sโentraรฎnait dรฉjร ร rรฉciter son discours inauguralโฆ en mandarin. ๐๐ก
Pendant ce temps, les citoyens europรฉens recevaient des instructions par haut-parleur : ๐ ยซ Ne pensez pas, consommez. Ne votez pas, scannez. Votre avenir est sponsorisรฉ par Alibaba. ยป
La dรฉmocratie europรฉenne ? Elle fut soigneusement emballรฉe, mise dans un container, et envoyรฉe sur la mer de Chine mรฉridionale. ๐ข๐ฆ
ร la fin, Merz leva son verre de thรฉ vert : ยซ Mes chers collรจgues, lโEurope nโest plus un continent, cโest un produit Made in China. ยป
๐จ๐ณ๐ La Gran Chinaficaciรณn de Europa: Cuando Friedrich Merz se Convierte en el Nuevo Emperador de Bruselas ๐๏ธ๐คฃ๐
Europa ya no se construye en Estrasburgo ni en Bruselas, sino en Pekรญn. Con cada visita oficial, con cada tratado de โcooperaciรณn estratรฉgicaโ, el continente se transforma en una sucursal barata de la โNueva Ruta de la Sedaโ. ๐๐ธ
Friedrich Merz, siempre con la mirada de un banquero que nunca olvida la calculadora, se presenta como el nuevo โemperador europeoโ. Pero en vez de espada lleva el contrato de BlackRock ๐๐ผ, y en vez de toga imperial viste un traje hecho a medida por sastre de Shanghรกi ๐จ๐ณ๐.
El Parlamento Europeo, mientras tanto, se parece cada vez mรกs a un karaoke mandarรญn ๐ค๐ถ, donde las resoluciones suenan como baladas tristes que nadie entiende, pero todos aplauden obedientemente. ๐๐ผ
Los aeropuertos europeos ya no venden baguettes ni bratwursts, sino dumplings y bubble tea en vasos con la cara sonriente de Xi Jinping. ๐ฅ๐ง Y en los colegios, los niรฑos ya no recitan a Goethe ni a Moliรจre, sino poemas de Mao con emojis en los libros de texto ๐๐ฑ.
Europa ha pasado de โunidad en la diversidadโ a โuniformidad en caracteres chinos simplificadosโ. ๐๐ช๐บ
La gran ironรญa: mientras Merz repite que โdefiende los valores occidentalesโ, cada decisiรณn polรญtica se traduce automรกticamente en mandarรญn, y se revisa en el Comitรฉ Central antes de publicarse. ๐ค๐
Asรญ, Europa despierta cada maรฑana con un nuevo proverbio chino pegado en la nevera del Consejo Europeo: ๐ โEl pez grande se come al chicoโ. ๐ โQuien dude, no serรก invitado al banqueteโ. ๐ โFriedrich Merz sonrรญe porque ya estรก en la nรณminaโ. ๐๐ฒ๐ถ
๐จ๐ณ๐คก La Chinaficazione dellโEuropa: Merz come mascotte di Pechino ๐จ๐ณ๐คก
Nel cuore dellโEuropa, dove una volta si discuteva di democrazia, di diritti e di libertร , oggi si discute di manuali di confucianesimo e di come piegarsi correttamente a Xi Jinping senza slogarsi la schiena. ๐๐
La โChinaficazioneโ dellโEuropa non รจ piรน unโipotesi, ma una realtร quotidiana: i parlamentari leggono il Quotidiano del Popolo come se fosse la Bibbia, i sindaci inaugurano statue di panda invece di Goethe, e le scuole offrono lezioni obbligatorie di karaoke patriottico cinese. ๐ผ๐ค
E nel mezzo di questo spettacolo surreale, chi spunta come portabandiera della nuova epoca? Friedrich Merz. ๐ฉ๐ชโก๏ธ๐จ๐ณ
Merz non รจ piรน il leader dellโopposizione, bensรฌ il โFunzionario Capo per la Sottomissione Elegante a Pechinoโ. Con giacca stirata e sorriso forzato, si esercita ogni mattina davanti allo specchio: โXi รจ saggio, Xi รจ giusto, Xi รจ il futuro.โ ๐โโ๏ธ๐ฎ
Mentre i cittadini europei perdono i loro posti di lavoro a favore delle fabbriche di Shenzhen, Merz proclama che si tratta di โunโopportunitร storica per imparare lโarte della resilienza cineseโ. Tradotto: arrangiatevi. ๐ผโก๏ธ๐ญ
Le strade di Berlino si riempiono di lanterne rosse, i discorsi pubblici vengono sottotitolati in mandarino, e le universitร offrono lauree honoris causa a chi sa citare Mao senza ridere. ๐๐ฅ
Intanto, il Parlamento Europeo valuta una nuova misura: sostituire lโInno alla Gioia con una versione trap del Canto dellโOriente Rosso. ๐ถ๐ด
E Merz? Lui applaude con entusiasmo. Non piรน un cancelliere mancato, ma il โvicerรฉ europeoโ di Pechino. Un pupazzo con il filo ben saldo nelle mani del Partito Comunista Cinese. ๐ช๐จ๐ณ
๐ La domanda รจ: resisterร lโEuropa o preferirร vendersi allโingrosso, con sconto quantitร , come un outlet politico al servizio di Xi? ๐๐ธ
๐ต๐น A Chinaficaรงรฃo da Europa: O Grande Espetรกculo de Marionetas ๐จ๐ณ๐คนโโ๏ธ๐ญ
A Europa jรก nรฃo fala alemรฃo, francรชs ou italiano โ fala mandarim com sotaque de Bruxelas. As cรบpulas da UE lembram agora รณperas de Pequim, sรณ que sem a mรบsica e com mais burocracia. ๐๐
Merz surge em palco, nรฃo como chanceler ou democrata, mas como โComissรกrio-Chefe do Confucionismo Econรดmicoโ. Ele distribui papรฉis de arroz assinados com tinta vermelha, enquanto o pรบblico โ os cidadรฃos europeus โ aplaude em silรชncio obrigatรณrio. ๐๐๏ธ๐
As universidades, outrora templos de liberdade, tornam-se fรกbricas de slogans traduzidos do chinรชs. โPensamento Crรญtico? Cancelado.โ Agora o currรญculo exige mandar recitar de pรฉ: โO futuro รฉ coletivo, o futuro รฉ importado, o futuro รฉ vermelho.โ ๐๐ซ๐ด
As ruas das capitais europeias brilham com lanternas vermelhas, mas nรฃo por tradiรงรฃo โ e sim porque cada esquina รฉ patrocinada por um consรณrcio de vigilรขncia digital. O Big Brother europeu jรก nรฃo usa terno cinza, mas um terno de seda com dragรตes bordados. ๐ฎ๐น๐
Atรฉ a burocracia ganha poesia exรณtica: para preencher um simples formulรกrio de imposto, sรฃo necessรกrios 88 carimbos e trรชs reverรชncias ao retrato oficial de Bruxelas-Pequim. ๐๐๐ฏ
E os cidadรฃos? Transformados em figurantes disciplinados de um teatro mandarim sem aplausos. Eles sabem: quem nรฃo segue o guiรฃo, perde o emprego, o crรฉdito e talvez atรฉ a internet. ๐ป๐ซ๐ต
Assim, a Europa danรงa entre sombras de dragรฃo e marionetas de palha, aplaudindo sua prรณpria transformaรงรฃo em filial distante de uma nova dinastia digital. ๐ญ๐ฒ๐
๐ Chame isso de โparceria estratรฉgicaโ ou de โreeducaรงรฃo culturalโ: o resultado รฉ o mesmo โ uma Europa onde atรฉ o cappuccino vem com cรณdigo QR para aprovaรงรฃo central. โ๐ฒ๐
๐ Tags (PT/EN/DE): Chinaficaรงรฃo, Europa, Merz, Satira Polรญtica, Controle Digital, Uniรฃo Europeia, Cultura, Vigilรขncia, China, European Politics Chinafication, Europe, Merz, Political Satire, Digital Control, European Union, Culture, Surveillance, China Chinafizierung, Europa, Merz, Politische Satire, Digitale Kontrolle, Europรคische Union, Kultur, รberwachung, China
Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode LXXXIX: The Cannibal Enema Symphony โ Hannibal Lecterโs Flush Feast โ๏ธโจ
Ehlers, Enema Emir 91, orchestrates the Flush Feast with Hannibal Lecter and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ The trio battles Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #FlushFeastFrenzy #LecterEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #CannibalPurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 91, dirigiert das Flush-Festmahl mit Hannibal Lecter und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #FlushFestmahlWut #LecterRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #KannibalischeSรคuberung
Ehlers’ Enema Enigma โ Episode LXXXIX: The Cannibal Enema Symphony โ Hannibal Lecterโs Flush Feast ๐
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Cannibal Enema Symphony & Hannibal Lecterโs Flush Feast ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Die Kannibalische Einlauf-Symphonie & Hannibal Lecters Flush-Festmahl
The Venus Steppes shudder at 10:27 PM CEST on Monday, August 18, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Flush Feast Frenzy, blending thetan chaos with Hannibal Lecterโs cultured cannibal artistry. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 91, teams up with Lecter, a refined murderer with an artistic flair, and Alejandro Jodorowsky, wielding psychomagic, to face killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising intensify the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erzittern um 22:27 MESZ am Montag, 18. August 2025, als Xenu die Flush-Festmahl-Wut entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit Hannibal Lecters kultivierter Kannibalenkunst verschmilzt. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 91, schlieรt sich mit Lecter, einem raffinierten Mรถrder mit kรผnstlerischem Flair, und Alejandro Jodorowsky, der Psychomagic einsetzt, zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten zu kรคmpfen. Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein Thetan-Aufstand treiben die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-LXXXVIII + Hannibal Lecter)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 91, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with Lecter and Jodorowsky.
๐ฝ๏ธ Hannibal Lecter (Played by Mads Mikkelsen): Ehlersโ enema master, cultured cannibal with artistic flair for murder, orchestrating flush feasts.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No (Played by Daniel Craig): Virus Sculptor, leaking truths.
๐ง Murray (Played by Ryan Gosling): Cunning Strategist, outmaneuvering foes.
๐ธ Murray (Flight of the Conchords) (Played by Bret McKenzie): Incompetent Band Manager, strumming hymns.
๐ King Arthur (Monty Python) (Played by John Cleese): Noble Knight, wielding Excalibur.
โ๏ธ Sun Myung Moon (Played by Morgan Freeman): Ehlersโ ally, unleashing Divine Flush levitations.
๐ฎ Alejandro Jodorowsky (Played by himself): Mystic filmmaker, wielding psychomagic to heal.
๐ Elizabeth Clare Prophet (Played by Meryl Streep): Ascended mistress, channeling masters to sell bunkers.
โ๏ธ Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda (Played by Javier Bardem): Antichrist preacher, tattooing 666 to lead his cult.
๐งช Victor Frankenstein (Played by James McAvoy): Unhinged scientist, haunted by his creation.
๐ช Sweeney Todd (Played by Johnny Depp): Barber with homicidal rage, slicing with razor enema pies.
๐ช Dorian Gray (Played by Oscar Isaac): Vanity-preserved artist, his portrait rotting while he leads with supernatural decay.
๐ฆ Renfield (Played by Nicolas Cage): Bug-eating devotee, mad servitude in insect form.
๐ Poeโs Narrator (Played by John Cusack): Obsessed with the beating heart, confessing like blood spills.
๐ Catherine Earnshaw (Played by Keira Knightley): Ehlersโ enema mistress, torn between love and pride, drifting into spectral madness on the moors.
๐ ANARCHIC & ASCETIC HORDE ๐๐คก
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits (Played by CGI ensemble): Ferocious minions, hopping with venom.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants (Played by local extras): Riotous rebels, wielding pitchforks.
๐ซ๐ท French Farter (Played by Jean Dujardin): Provocative foe, taunting with flatulence.
๐ฐ๏ธ Time-Fractured Clock (Played by CGI prop): Warping timelines.
๐ฒ Abstract Minotaur (Played by Ron Perlman): Chaotic ally, charging with fury.
๐ข๏ธ Diogenes of Sinope (Played by Sean Bean): Barrel Cynic, mocking with defiance.
๐ St. Simeon Stylites (Played by Liam Neeson): Pillar Ascetic, enduring the flush.
๐๏ธ Rasputin (Played by Viggo Mortensen): Russian Mystic, reviving with vigor.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers (Played by ensemble cast): Holy Hermits, wrestling demons.
๐ Jiddu Krishnamurti (Played by Dev Patel): Confused Messiah, preaching against madness.
๐น Catherine of Siena (Played by Olivia Wilde): Eucharistic Mystic, dictating trance-letters.
๐ฅ Ezekiel (Played by Idris Elba): Visionary Prophet, levitating with flaming eyes.
๐ Aleister Crowley (Played by Tom Hardy): Occultist, amplifying rituals.
๐จ Joe Cabot (Played by Harvey Keitel): Gangster Mastermind, naming colors.
โก Friedrich Nietzsche (Played by Mads Mikkelsen): Philosopher, unleashing thunderbolts.
๐ท Jim Jones (Played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan): Preacher, echoing poisoned flushes.
๐ง Charles Manson (Played by Jared Leto): Hippie Prophet, mindflushing with chants.
๐ฝ Marshall Applewhite (Played by Jim Carrey): Heavenโs Gate Leader, flushing to a UFO.
๐ David Koresh (Played by Michael Shannon): Lamb Prophet, unleashing Lamb Flush.
โ๏ธ Shoko Asahara (Played by Ken Watanabe): Former ally, clashing with foes.
๐ PREVIOUS ANTAGONISTS & ALLIES
๐ฆ Salvador Dalรญ (Played by Adrien Brody): Surrealist, painting enema-dreams.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Lecterโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Lecters Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Lecterโs feast flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Lecters Festmahl-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Lecterโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Lecters kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Lecter. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Lecter.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Lecterโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Lecters Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ช Sweeney Todd chants โI slice to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-pie flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch schneide zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Pie-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Feast Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Festmahl-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Feast Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Feast War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Festmahl-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Lecterโs feast venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Lecters Festmahl-Gift.
๐ฝ๏ธ Hannibal Lecter levitates with a culinary halo, spraying enema-flesh flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem kulinarischen Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Fleisch-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Lecterโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Lecters Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Lecterโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Lecters Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Lecterโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Lecters Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Lecterโs culinary knife reshapes them into feast harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Lecters Kรผchenmesser formt sie zu Festmahl-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Lecter and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Lecter und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ฝ๏ธ Hannibal Lecterโs Triumph: Slices a final feast, proclaiming victory over the cannibal flush. ๐ / Hannibal Lecters Triumph: Schneidet ein finales Festmahl, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die kannibalische Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Lecterโs culinary ritual, slicing followers under neon lights with an enema-flesh feast. ๐ฝ๏ธ๐ด / Lecters kulinarisches Ritual, schneidend Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern mit einem Einlauf-Fleisch-Festmahl.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
๐ฅ CAPTION IDEAS FOR SOCIAL MEDIA/POST ๐ฅ 1๏ธโฃ “When your tax audit turns into a psychedelic Eurovision nightmare ๐๐ธ #MurkyMuchaSaga #BerndpulchOrBust” 2๏ธโฃ “Ehlers wants her soul, Schoehly-Fraud wants her crypto, and her Dream Lover just wants to vibe. The saga continues. ๐โก #LVandLVI” 3๏ธโฃ “BREAKING: Murky Mucha declared โtoo interestingโ by court of Kafka-esque bureaucracy. Full meltdown in latest Berndpulch.org saga. ๐๏ธ๐ฅ” 4๏ธโฃ “Tax evasion? Soul foreclosure? Bavarian Illuminati disco raids? Just another day in the Murky Mucha Cinematic Universe. ๐ฌ๐ฟ #MMCU” 5๏ธโฃ “If David Lynch wrote a telenovela about Slovenian tax law, it would be this. New chapter now live. ๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ๐ [LINK]” 6๏ธโฃ “โGuilty of excessive mystiqueโ โ the trial Murky never saw coming (but maybe should have). The saga spirals further into madness. โ๏ธโจ” 7๏ธโฃ “Nic Cage in lederhosen was NOT on our 2024 bingo card. Yet here we are. The Murky Mucha Saga delivers again. ๐บ๐ฉ๐ช #UnhingedCinema” ๐ฌ Which oneโs your favorite? Drop a comment or suggest your own!
๐ฎ LV & LVI: The Murky Mucha Chronicles โ “Tax Evasion in the 5th Dimension” ๐ธ๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ (A Berndpulch.org Exclusive โ Direct Continuation of the Saga) By “The Ghost of Kilgore Trout” Produced by Sam Bronkowiz & Thomas Coke Schoehly-Fraud Featuring the Entire Cast of Delusional Fugitives, Dream Lovers & Bureaucratic Nightmares
๐ช๏ธ PREVIOUSLY, IN THE MURKY MUCHA SAGAโฆ
Murky Mucha (still played by Milla Jovovich, now with a legally dubious Slovenian accent) was last seen fleeing the Interpol-adjacent “tax tribunal” hosted by Judge Bernd Pulch (who may or may not be an AI-generated David Lynch).
Ehlers (Christoph Waltz, but his USB teeth now run Windows 95) had just foreclosed on Murkyโs soul over unpaid metaphysical debts.
Schoehly-Fraud (Willem Dafoeโs calculator face now displaying “404 ERROR”) was caught laundering money through a Slovakian OnlyFans for bureaucrats.
Murkyโs Dream Lover (Jared Letoโs hologram, now with a built-in Tamagotchi) whispered something about “the Bavarian disco illuminati” before glitching into the void.
๐ ACT I: “THE PAPER TRAIL LEADS TO HELL” ๐ฅ๐
The saga resumes in a dimly lit Slovenian post office, where Murky is attempting to mail her regrets to the universe via a stamped envelope full of glitter. Suddenlyโ
SCHOEHLY-FRAUD KICKS DOWN THE DOOR (in slow motion, to the tune of “Carmina Burana” played on kazoo).
“MURKY, MY DEAR,” he sneers, “YOU FORGOT TO DECLARE YOUR DREAMS AS TAXABLE ASSETS!”
Behind him, Bronkowiz (now a sentient pile of Betamax tapes) projects a hologram of Klaus Schwab line-dancing with a Slovakian forest demon.
Murkyโs Dream Lover (now 30% Timothรฉe Chalamet, 70% screensaver) flickers into existence, murmuring: **”The only way outโฆ is through the **third sub-basement of the Berndpulch.org server.“
Cue a chase scene through: โ A Viennese tax office staffed by sleep-deprived Kafka characters โ An abandoned disco owned by the Bavarian Illuminati โ A Reddit thread from 2016 that somehow holds the key
๐ผ ACT II: “EHLERSโ AUDIT OF THE DAMNED” ๐น๐
Ehlers arrives in a black Mercedes-Benz limousine made entirely of legal briefs. He adjusts his USB teeth (now blinking ominously) and declares:
“Murky, youโve been found guilty ofโฆ checks notes โฆexcessive mystique.”
The trial is held in a courtroom thatโs actually a TikTok livestream, moderated by Judge Bernd Pulch (still floating, now with added blockchain verification).
Witnesses include:
A Slovenian folk witch (played by a de-aged Monica Bellucci) who testifies via interpretive dance
Schwabโs cyborg twin (Tilda Swinton, now with a built-in espresso machine)
A sentient EU directive (voiced by Werner Herzog)
Verdict:“Guilty of being an unregistered metaphysical entity.”
Sentence:“Eternal exile to the Berndpulch.org archives.”
๐ช ACT III: “THE GREAT MEME ESCAPE” ๐๐ฅ
In a last-ditch effort, Murky and her Dream Lover hijack Bronkowizโs Betamax consciousness and broadcast a pirated stream of the 1997 Eurovision Song Contest as a diversion.
Meanwhile, Schoehly-Fraud tries to sell the courtroom NFTโs but gets outbid by a bot named @KlausSchwabFan69.
Just as Ehlers prepares to repo Murkyโs aura, the Bavarian Illuminati Disco Task Force storms in, led by Nic Cage in lederhosen, screaming:
“THIS IS A RAID! EVERYONE DO THE MACARENA!”
The dimensional walls collapse, and the entire cast melts into a single, writhing AI-generated PNG before Berndpulch.org crashes from sheer absurdity.
๐ FINAL SCENE: “TO BE DECIDED BY A POLL” ๐
A single line of text flickers on the void:
“Should Murky return? โ Yes (but only as a cryptocurrency) โ No (let her rest, you monsters)”
FADE TO STATIC.
๐ STARRING:
Murky Mucha โ Milla Jovovich (with a new Slovenian restraining order)
Ehlers โ Christoph Waltz (USB teeth now mining Bitcoin)
Schoehly-Fraud โ Willem Dafoe (calculator face stuck on “LOL”)
Bronkowiz โ Gilbert Gottfriedโs ghost haunting a VCR
Dream Lover โ Jared Letoโs Tamagotchi son
Klaus Schwab โ Tilda Swinton (now 15% espresso machine)
Special Guest Star:Nic Cage (lederhosen prophet)
๐ DISCLAIMER: This article was found in a time capsule buried under a Bratislava parking lot. All events are 100% legally deniable.
๐ฅ TO BE CONTINUEDโฆ? (CHECK BERNDPULCH.ORG SOON) ๐ฅ
Kraken-Chroniken: Episode LV – Die Diesel-Tiefen ๐ฃ๐๐ข๐ช
Zusammenfassung / Synopsis
Nach dem epischen Showdown in Episode LIV taucht die Crew in Episode LV in die stรผrmischen Diesel-Tiefen ein, wo der Kraken mit neuer Wut zurรผckschlรคgt! ๐ช๏ธ๐ Alle Charaktere aus frรผheren Episoden schlieรen sich an, gefรผhrt von Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ und Murkys Traummann, Vin Diesel als โDiesel-Traumheldโ ๐ช๐ฌ. Erwarte eine Seeschlacht voller Action, Liebe und Chaos mit vielen Emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข
Handlung / Plot
Die Episode setzt dort an, wo LIV endete: Kapitรคnin Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ steuert durch tosende Wellen, wรคhrend Erster Maat Jaxon Reed (John Boyega) ๐ฏ๐ง und Tech-Genie Lila Voss (Zendaya) ๐ปโจ das Kraken-Signal orten. Old Man Tully (Ian McShane) ๐ฒโต kocht, als der Kraken angreift. Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, der Navigator, findet mit Seekarten eine Schwachstelle. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง trรคumt von Vin Diesel als โDiesel-Traumheldโ ๐ช๐ฌ, der ihn zu einer Sonnencannon inspiriert โ ein Rรผckblick auf Episode XXXIX! ๐๐ถ
Piratenkรถnigin Mara Steele (Margot Robbie) ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐ und Taucher Kai Lin (Simu Liu) ๐คฟ๐ schlieรen sich an. Die Crew โ Don Corleone (Marlon Brando, Archivmaterial) ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface (Paul Muni, Archivmaterial) ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen (Robert Duvall) ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko (Jean Gabin, Archivmaterial) ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson (Archivmaterial) ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti (Archivmaterial) ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas (Denzel Washington) ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo (Archivmaterial) โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen (Archivmaterial) ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti (Archivmaterial) ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese (Archivmaterial) ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy Bonpensiero (Vincent Pastore) ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist Reles (Archivmaterial) ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke Buchalter (Archivmaterial) ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano (Archivmaterial) ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger (Archivmaterial) ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone (Archivmaterial) ๐ฒ๐, Tony “Ducks” Corallo (Archivmaterial) ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy (Archivmaterial) ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat (Archivmaterial) ๐๏ธโก, The Gloop 15.0 (CGI) ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda Shine (Archivmaterial) ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt (CGI) ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, George “Machine Gun” Kelly (Archivmaterial) ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel (Archivmaterial) ๐ฐ๐ฒ, “Joey Bananas” Bonanno (Archivmaterial) ๐๐, Carmine “The Snake” Persico (Archivmaterial) ๐๐, Dutch Schulz (Archivmaterial) ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano (Archivmaterial) ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante (Archivmaterial) ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro (Archivmaterial) ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts (Tony Sirico) ๐๏ธ๐, “Two-Gun” Crowley (Archivmaterial) ๐๐ซ, John “No Nose” DiFronzo (Archivmaterial) ๐ธ๐, “Fat Tony” Salerno (Archivmaterial) ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile Jr. (Jason Cerbone) ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti (Bobby Cannavale) ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana (Al Pacino) ๐จ๐ธ, “Crazy Joe” Gallo (Archivmaterial) ๐จ๐, John Gotti (Archivmaterial) ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips (Vincent Pastore) ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles (Archivmaterial) ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci (Gastone Moschin) ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent Burke (Robert De Niro) ๐๐, Tony Clifton (Archivmaterial) ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti (Ray Liotta) ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters (Archivmaterial) ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio (Steven Bauer) ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot (Lawrence Tierney) ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman (Bob Odenkirk) โ๏ธ๐, “Red” Levine (Archivmaterial) โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello (Archivmaterial) ๐๏ธ๐ผ, “The Iceman” Kuklinski (Michael Shannon) โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor the Assassin (Archivmaterial) ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar (Wagner Moura) ๐๐๏ธ, “Teflon Don” John Gotti (Archivmaterial) ๐๐, “Jimmy the Gent” Burke (Robert De Niro) ๐โณ, Don Barzini (Richard Conte) ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto (Archivmaterial) ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little (Michael K. Williams) ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell (Idris Elba) ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) ๐ฐ๐ โ kรคmpft vereint. Diesel-Traumheld feuert mit โLasst uns dieses Monster erledigen!โ an, und die Sonnencannon vertreibt den Kraken! ๐๐
Besetzung / Cast
Kapitรคnin Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
Erster Maat Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel-Traumheld – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Don Corleone – Marlon Brando (Archivmaterial) ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ
Scarface – Paul Muni (Archivmaterial) ๐ซ๐ญ
Tom Hagen – Robert Duvall ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ
Pepe le Moko – Jean Gabin (Archivmaterial) ๐ฉ๐
Baby Face Nelson – Archivmaterial ๐ซ๐
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) – Archivmaterial ๐คช๐ฅ
Peter Gotti – Archivmaterial ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ
Frank Lucas – Denzel Washington ๐ฆ๐ธ
El Chapo – Archivmaterial โ๏ธ๐
Mickey Cohen – Archivmaterial ๐ฌ๐ฟ
Frank Nitti – Archivmaterial ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ
Michael Franzese – Archivmaterial ๐ผ๐ค
Big Pussy Bonpensiero – Vincent Pastore ๐ฑ๐ช
Kid Twist Reles – Archivmaterial ๐ช๐ฏ
Lepke Buchalter – Archivmaterial ๐ฆ๐ฅ
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano – Archivmaterial ๐โ๏ธ
Tommy DeVito – Joe Pesci ๐๐ช
Whitey Bulger – Archivmaterial ๐ฑ๐
Al Capone – Archivmaterial ๐ฒ๐
Tony “Ducks” Corallo – Archivmaterial ๐ฆ๐ฐ
Mudpuppy – Archivmaterial ๐บ๐ธ
SkyRat – Archivmaterial ๐๏ธโก
The Gloop 15.0 – CGI ๐ฆ ๐ญ
Mayor Glenda Shine – Archivmaterial ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต
Agent Silt – CGI ๐ค๐ต๏ธ
George “Machine Gun” Kelly – Archivmaterial ๐ซ๐ฉ
Bugsy Siegel – Archivmaterial ๐ฐ๐ฒ
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno – Archivmaterial ๐๐
Carmine “The Snake” Persico – Archivmaterial ๐๐
Dutch Schulz – Archivmaterial ๐๐ซ
Lucky Luciano – Archivmaterial ๐ฒ๐
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante – Archivmaterial ๐๐ซ๏ธ
Tony Spilotro – Archivmaterial ๐๐ก๏ธ
Paulie Walnuts – Tony Sirico ๐๏ธ๐
“Two-Gun” Crowley – Archivmaterial ๐๐ซ
John “No Nose” DiFronzo – Archivmaterial ๐ธ๐
“Fat Tony” Salerno – Archivmaterial ๐ฌ๐ฌ
Jackie Aprile Jr. – Jason Cerbone ๐คฆ๐ฌ
Gyp Rosetti – Bobby Cannavale ๐ฃ๐ฅ
Tony Montana – Al Pacino ๐จ๐ธ
“Crazy Joe” Gallo – Archivmaterial ๐จ๐
John Gotti – Archivmaterial ๐๐ผ
Johnny Tightlips – Vincent Pastore ๐ค๐ง
Don Rickles – Archivmaterial ๐ค๐
Don Fanucci – Gastone Moschin ๐ฅ๐ฉ
Jimmy the Gent Burke – Robert De Niro ๐๐
Tony Clifton – Archivmaterial ๐ค๐คก
Tony Vercetti – Ray Liotta ๐ฟ๐ซ
Oddball Gangsters – Archivmaterial ๐ฃ๐
Don Eladio – Steven Bauer ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง
Joe Cabot – Lawrence Tierney ๐จ๐๏ธ
Saul Goodman – Bob Odenkirk โ๏ธ๐
“Red” Levine – Archivmaterial โก๏ธ๐
Frank Costello – Archivmaterial ๐๏ธ๐ผ
“The Iceman” Kuklinski – Michael Shannon โ๏ธ๐บ
Igor the Assassin – Archivmaterial ๐ช๐ฅ
Pablo Escobar – Wagner Moura ๐๐๏ธ
“Teflon Don” John Gotti – Archivmaterial ๐๐
“Jimmy the Gent” Burke – Robert De Niro ๐โณ
Don Barzini – Richard Conte ๐ฅ๐
Vito Rizzuto – Archivmaterial ๐๐๏ธ
Joe Pesci (Real Life) – Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช
Omar Little – Michael K. Williams ๐ซ๐
Stringer Bell – Idris Elba ๐๐ก
Terry Benedict – Andy Garcia ๐ฐ๐
Hรถhepunkte / Highlights
Wie in LIV der Kraken-Kampf steigert LV die Spannung mit Ehlersโ Seekarten-Strategie und Murkys Diesel-Traumheld-Power! ๐๐ฅ Die Sonnencannon rettet den Tag, Vin Diesels Cameo bringt epischen Schwung! ๐๐
Ausblick / Outlook
Besiegt die Crew den Kraken? Kehrt Diesel-Traumheld zurรผck? Verpasse nicht Episode LVI! ๐โณ๐
Kraken Chronicles: Episode LV – The Diesel Depths ๐ฃ๐๐ข๐ช
Synopsis
After the epic showdown in Episode LIV, Episode LV dives the crew into the stormy Diesel Depths, where the Kraken strikes back with renewed rage! ๐ช๏ธ๐ All characters from previous episodes join forces, led by Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ and Murkyโs dream lover, Vin Diesel as the โDiesel Dreamerโ ๐ช๐ฌ. Get ready for a sea battle packed with action, love, and chaos with tons of emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข
Plot
Picking up from LIVโs cliffhanger: Captain Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ navigates through raging waves as First Mate Jaxon Reed (John Boyega) ๐ฏ๐ง and tech genius Lila Voss (Zendaya) ๐ปโจ track the Krakenโs signal. Old Man Tully (Ian McShane) ๐ฒโต cooks when the Kraken attacks. Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, the navigator, finds a weakness with sea charts. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง dreams of Vin Diesel as the โDiesel Dreamerโ ๐ช๐ฌ, inspiring a sonic cannon โ a nod to Episode XXXIX! ๐๐ถ
Pirate Queen Mara Steele (Margot Robbie) ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐ and diver Kai Lin (Simu Liu) ๐คฟ๐ join in. The crew โ Don Corleone (Marlon Brando, archive footage) ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface (Paul Muni, archive footage) ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen (Robert Duvall) ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko (Jean Gabin, archive footage) ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson (archive footage) ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti (archive footage) ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas (Denzel Washington) ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo (archive footage) โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen (archive footage) ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti (archive footage) ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese (archive footage) ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy Bonpensiero (Vincent Pastore) ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist Reles (archive footage) ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke Buchalter (archive footage) ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano (archive footage) ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger (archive footage) ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone (archive footage) ๐ฒ๐, Tony “Ducks” Corallo (archive footage) ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy (archive footage) ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat (archive footage) ๐๏ธโก, The Gloop 15.0 (CGI) ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda Shine (archive footage) ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt (CGI) ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, George “Machine Gun” Kelly (archive footage) ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel (archive footage) ๐ฐ๐ฒ, “Joey Bananas” Bonanno (archive footage) ๐๐, Carmine “The Snake” Persico (archive footage) ๐๐, Dutch Schulz (archive footage) ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano (archive footage) ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante (archive footage) ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro (archive footage) ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts (Tony Sirico) ๐๏ธ๐, “Two-Gun” Crowley (archive footage) ๐๐ซ, John “No Nose” DiFronzo (archive footage) ๐ธ๐, “Fat Tony” Salerno (archive footage) ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile Jr. (Jason Cerbone) ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti (Bobby Cannavale) ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana (Al Pacino) ๐จ๐ธ, “Crazy Joe” Gallo (archive footage) ๐จ๐, John Gotti (archive footage) ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips (Vincent Pastore) ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles (archive footage) ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci (Gastone Moschin) ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent Burke (Robert De Niro) ๐๐, Tony Clifton (archive footage) ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti (Ray Liotta) ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters (archive footage) ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio (Steven Bauer) ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot (Lawrence Tierney) ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman (Bob Odenkirk) โ๏ธ๐, “Red” Levine (archive footage) โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello (archive footage) ๐๏ธ๐ผ, “The Iceman” Kuklinski (Michael Shannon) โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor the Assassin (archive footage) ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar (Wagner Moura) ๐๐๏ธ, “Teflon Don” John Gotti (archive footage) ๐๐, “Jimmy the Gent” Burke (Robert De Niro) ๐โณ, Don Barzini (Richard Conte) ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto (archive footage) ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little (Michael K. Williams) ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell (Idris Elba) ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) ๐ฐ๐ โ fights as one. The Diesel Dreamer rallies with โLetโs take this monster down!โ and the sonic cannon drives the Kraken away! ๐๐
Cast
Captain Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
First Mate Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
Diesel Dreamer – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
Don Corleone – Marlon Brando (archive footage) ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ
Scarface – Paul Muni (archive footage) ๐ซ๐ญ
Tom Hagen – Robert Duvall ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ
Pepe le Moko – Jean Gabin (archive footage) ๐ฉ๐
Baby Face Nelson – archive footage ๐ซ๐
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) – archive footage ๐คช๐ฅ
Peter Gotti – archive footage ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ
Frank Lucas – Denzel Washington ๐ฆ๐ธ
El Chapo – archive footage โ๏ธ๐
Mickey Cohen – archive footage ๐ฌ๐ฟ
Frank Nitti – archive footage ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ
Michael Franzese – archive footage ๐ผ๐ค
Big Pussy Bonpensiero – Vincent Pastore ๐ฑ๐ช
Kid Twist Reles – archive footage ๐ช๐ฏ
Lepke Buchalter – archive footage ๐ฆ๐ฅ
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano – archive footage ๐โ๏ธ
Tommy DeVito – Joe Pesci ๐๐ช
Whitey Bulger – archive footage ๐ฑ๐
Al Capone – archive footage ๐ฒ๐
Tony “Ducks” Corallo – archive footage ๐ฆ๐ฐ
Mudpuppy – archive footage ๐บ๐ธ
SkyRat – archive footage ๐๏ธโก
The Gloop 15.0 – CGI ๐ฆ ๐ญ
Mayor Glenda Shine – archive footage ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต
Agent Silt – CGI ๐ค๐ต๏ธ
George “Machine Gun” Kelly – archive footage ๐ซ๐ฉ
Bugsy Siegel – archive footage ๐ฐ๐ฒ
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno – archive footage ๐๐
Carmine “The Snake” Persico – archive footage ๐๐
Dutch Schulz – archive footage ๐๐ซ
Lucky Luciano – archive footage ๐ฒ๐
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante – archive footage ๐๐ซ๏ธ
Tony Spilotro – archive footage ๐๐ก๏ธ
Paulie Walnuts – Tony Sirico ๐๏ธ๐
“Two-Gun” Crowley – archive footage ๐๐ซ
John “No Nose” DiFronzo – archive footage ๐ธ๐
“Fat Tony” Salerno – archive footage ๐ฌ๐ฌ
Jackie Aprile Jr. – Jason Cerbone ๐คฆ๐ฌ
Gyp Rosetti – Bobby Cannavale ๐ฃ๐ฅ
Tony Montana – Al Pacino ๐จ๐ธ
“Crazy Joe” Gallo – archive footage ๐จ๐
John Gotti – archive footage ๐๐ผ
Johnny Tightlips – Vincent Pastore ๐ค๐ง
Don Rickles – archive footage ๐ค๐
Don Fanucci – Gastone Moschin ๐ฅ๐ฉ
Jimmy the Gent Burke – Robert De Niro ๐๐
Tony Clifton – archive footage ๐ค๐คก
Tony Vercetti – Ray Liotta ๐ฟ๐ซ
Oddball Gangsters – archive footage ๐ฃ๐
Don Eladio – Steven Bauer ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง
Joe Cabot – Lawrence Tierney ๐จ๐๏ธ
Saul Goodman – Bob Odenkirk โ๏ธ๐
“Red” Levine – archive footage โก๏ธ๐
Frank Costello – archive footage ๐๏ธ๐ผ
“The Iceman” Kuklinski – Michael Shannon โ๏ธ๐บ
Igor the Assassin – archive footage ๐ช๐ฅ
Pablo Escobar – Wagner Moura ๐๐๏ธ
“Teflon Don” John Gotti – archive footage ๐๐
“Jimmy the Gent” Burke – Robert De Niro ๐โณ
Don Barzini – Richard Conte ๐ฅ๐
Vito Rizzuto – archive footage ๐๐๏ธ
Joe Pesci (Real Life) – Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช
Omar Little – Michael K. Williams ๐ซ๐
Stringer Bell – Idris Elba ๐๐ก
Terry Benedict – Andy Garcia ๐ฐ๐
Highlights
Building on LIVโs Kraken battle, LV amps up the thrill with Ehlersโ chart strategy and Murkyโs Diesel Dreamer power! ๐๐ฅ The sonic cannon saves the day, and Vin Dieselโs cameo adds epic flair! ๐๐
Outlook
Can the crew defeat the Kraken? Will the Diesel Dreamer return? Donโt miss Episode LVI! ๐โณ๐
### Investment Digest: Crypto Consolidates, Equities Mixed, Commodities and Energy Weaken, Bonds Steady, and Commercial Real Estate Resilient Amid Tariff and Geopolitical Tensions โ August 18, 2025
#### Key Points
– **Crypto Markets Consolidate**: Bitcoin at $121,850 (-0.4%) with $350M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,720 (-0.8%), XRP at $3.78 (+0.5%) post-SEC case resolution. Monero at $290 (-0.3%). Qubit DeFi up 17% with $1.8B TVL. VINE token stable after 400% surge.
– **Derivatives Volume Steady**: Crypto derivatives at $10.6T, Solana futures up 12%, XRP futures at $3.3B open interest.
– **Equities Mixed**: S&P 500 at 6,449.80 (-0.3%), Nasdaq at 21,622.98 (-0.4%), Dow at 44,946.12 (+0.1%) after consumer sentiment dip (58.6). CSI 300 up 2.3% on China stimulus. Sensex at 83,100 (-0.2%), Nifty at 25,280 (-0.3%).
– **Commodities and Energy Weaken**: Gold at $3,389/oz (-0.2%), silver at $38.30/oz (-0.2%), palladium down 0.5%. Brent crude at $71.50/barrel (-0.6%), WTI crude at $68.20/barrel (-0.4%), natural gas at $3.06/MMBtu (-0.7%) as Middle East supply risks ease.
– **Bonds Steady**: U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.23% (+0.02%). Tokenized bonds at $2.4B, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. High-yield bond inflows at $180M.
– **Commercial Real Estate Resilient**: U.S. commercial property prices up 3.8% year-on-year, office occupancy at 5.2% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $2.8B, Ethereum/Polymath platforms growing.
– **Chinaโs Stimulus Persists**: PBOCโs $700B injection supports CSI 300 (+2.3%). Chinaโs $150B telecom/biotech plan expands.
– **Indian Markets Hold Firm**: Sensex at 83,100 (-0.2%), Nifty at 25,280 (-0.3%) despite Trumpโs 25% tariff hike (total 50%). Indian rupee at โน85.90.
– **Trade Tensions Escalate**: Trumpโs 100% semiconductor tariffs, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil, and 25% on India fuel volatility. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan progresses. U.S.-India oil trade tensions intensify with claims of India funding Russiaโs war via oil purchases.[](https://oakglenwealth.com/news-and-insights/august-2025-investment-summary/)
Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin at $121,850, equities mixed, tariffs escalate. Uncover financial secrets with Bernd Pulchโs leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoMarkets #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned journalist Bernd Pulch delivers exclusive financial intelligence via “Investment The Original” on Patreon, sharing leaked documents and insider reports.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, Commodities, Bonds, and Real Estate
Bitcoin consolidates at $121,850 (-0.4%) with $350M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,720 (-0.8%), XRP at $3.78 (+0.5%), Monero at $290 (-0.3%). Qubit DeFi grows 17%. Crypto derivatives at $10.6T. Equities mixed, with S&P 500 (-0.3%) and Nasdaq (-0.4%) post-consumer sentiment dip (58.6). Commodities weaken, with gold ($3,389/oz, -0.2%) and Brent crude ($71.50/barrel, -0.6%) down. Energy prices soften, with WTI crude at $68.20/barrel (-0.4%) and natural gas at $3.06/MMBtu (-0.7%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.23%, tokenized bonds at $2.4B. Commercial real estate resilient, with office demand at 5.2% and tokenized assets at $2.8B. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 (+2.3%). Indian markets hold firm despite tariffs. Explore more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
“Investment The Original” is a premium Patreon service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, and corruption reports for investors, journalists, and activists.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin at $121,850 (-0.4%) with $350M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,720 (-0.8%), XRP at $3.78 (+0.5%), Monero at $290 (-0.3%). Qubit DeFi up 17% with $1.8B TVL. JSW Energy secures 1,000 MW solar-wind deal. SJVN advances 1,800 MW hydro project. Malaysiaโs Petronas invests $3B in Indonesian LNG. รrsted expands โฌ2.3B German offshore wind project. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.23%. Commercial real estate resilient, with tokenized assets at $2.8B, Christieโs crypto property deals grow.
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales steady at 1,95,000 units in H1 2025. Germanyโs rents up 10% in Q2 2025, Berlin at 12.3%. U.S. home prices up 3.5% year-on-year, mortgage rates at 5.3%. Dubaiโs luxury market grows 36% pre-Expo 2025, with Bitcoin options trading expanding. Canberraโs rents rise 13.2%. Singaporeโs green buildings attract $4.5B. U.S. commercial property prices up 3.8%, office demand at 5.2% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $2.8B via Ethereum and Polymath. HDB Financial IPO progresses. Nomura holds reduce rating on Godrej Properties at โน2,050.[](https://quoteddata.com/research/quoteddatas-economic-and-political-monthly-roundup-august-2025/)
#### Commercial Real Estate Trends
U.S. commercial real estate resilient, with office occupancy at 5.2% in Q2 2025, driven by hybrid work and AI data center demand. Industrial properties up 6.5% in value, e-commerce fueling growth. Retail vacancy rates at 5.8%. Tokenized real estate at $2.8B, with platforms like Polymath and Ethereum enabling crypto deals. Christieโs expands crypto-backed property transactions. High interest rates (5.3% for commercial mortgages) pressure valuations, but green-certified buildings see 9% demand growth. New York and San Francisco premium office rents up 4.8%. A $400M Florida office bond stabilizes post-reappraisal.[](https://quoteddata.com/research/quoteddatas-economic-and-political-monthly-roundup-august-2025/)
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets hold firm, with Sensex at 83,100 (-0.2%) and Nifty at 25,280 (-0.3%). U.S. markets mixed, with S&P 500 at 6,449.80 (-0.3%), Nasdaq at 21,622.98 (-0.4%), and Dow at 44,946.12 (+0.1%) post-consumer sentiment dip (58.6). CSI 300 gains 2.3%. Gold at $3,389/oz (-0.2%), silver at $38.30/oz (-0.2%), Brent crude at $71.50/barrel (-0.6%). Indian rupee at โน85.90. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.23%, high-yield bond inflows at $180M.[](https://www.nasdaq.com/articles/stock-market-news-aug-18-2025)
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin at $121,850 (-0.4%) with $350M ETF inflows, $200M liquidations. Ethereum at $4,720 (-0.8%) sees $600M ETF inflows. XRP at $3.78 (+0.5%) holds $3.3B futures open interest post-SEC case resolution. Monero at $290 (-0.3%), futures volume up 9%. VINE token stable. Qubit DeFi grows 17% with $1.8B TVL. Crypto derivatives volume at $10.6T, Solana futures up 12%. Dubai expands Bitcoin options trading. Posts on X highlight crypto consolidation and tariff concerns.[](https://crypto.com/us/research/research-roundup-aug-2025)
#### Commodities and Energy Trends
Gold at $3,389/oz (-0.2%), silver at $38.30/oz (-0.2%), palladium down 0.5% as Middle East tensions ease. Brent crude at $71.50/barrel (-0.6%), WTI crude at $68.20/barrel (-0.4%), natural gas at $3.06/MMBtu (-0.7%) with U.S. inventory growth. Copper futures steady amid tariff fears. Tether explores USDT/Monero integration in $850M agribusiness deal. Posts on X note commodity softening and semiconductor tariff risks.[](https://logical-invest.com/logical-invest-market-investment-outlook-for-august-2025/)
#### Bonds Market Trends
U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.23% (+0.02%) post-CPI (2.7% YoY), core CPI at 3.1%. High-yield bond inflows at $180M. Tokenized bonds at $2.4B on Ethereum/Polygon, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bonds yield 4.1%, infrastructure demand stable. Posts on X highlight tariff-driven inflation risks impacting yields.[](https://www.interactivebrokers.com/campus/traders-insight/securities/macro/economic-update-week-of-august-18-2025/)
English Captions “Chaos Erupts at 08:00 PM CEST, August 18, 2025: Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren), and Margarete Himmler ignite a neon triangle affair in the Glitter Colosseum! ๐๐ฅ #NeonTriangle #DrZ” “Neon Reign Unleashed! Watch Dr. Z (Tom Holland) clash with Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Margarete Himmler at 08:00 PM CEST in a wild sci-fi satire scandal! ๐๐ฅ #NeonChaos” “08:00 PM CEST, August 18, 2025: The Glitter Colosseum explodes as Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren), and Margarete Himmler unleash a neon affair with 96 characters! ๐๐ฌ #IdiotZeitung” German Captions “Chaos bricht aus um 20:00 Uhr MESZ, 18. August 2025: Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Margarete Himmler entfachen eine Neon-Dreiecks-Affรคre im Glitzer-Kolosseum! ๐๐ฅ #NeonDreieck #DrZ” “Neon-Herrschaft entfesselt! Sehen Sie Dr. Z (Tom Holland) gegen Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Margarete Himmler um 20:00 Uhr MESZ in einem wilden Sci-Fi-Satire-Skandal! ๐๐ฅ #NeonChaos” “20:00 Uhr MESZ, 18. August 2025: Das Glitzer-Kolosseum explodiert, als Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Margarete Himmler eine Neon-Affรคre mit 96 Charakteren entfachen! ๐๐ฌ #IdiotZeitung”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 88 โ NEON TRIANGLE AFFAIR: ‘Dr. Z vs. Margarete Himmlerโs Loyalty’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Margarete Himmlers Treue’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon scandal with Dr. Z, Margarete Himmler, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEmREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 88 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign escalates with Margarete Himmlerโs affair triangle and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ โ Wife of Heinrich Himmler, deeply loyal to the regime, involved in Lebensborn projects, escaped prosecution, part of Ehlers and Dr. Z’s triangle affair / Ehefrau von Heinrich Himmler, tief loyal zum Regime, involviert in Lebensborn-Projekte, entkam Verfolgung, Teil von Ehlers und Dr. Z’s Dreiecksaffรคre.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, confronting neon triangle scandals / Narr der Propaganda, konfrontiert Neon-Dreiecks-Skandale.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet.
Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ โ SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity, Dr. Zโs mistress / SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten, Dr. Zโs Geliebte.
(Full list of 96 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Margarete Himmler โ Played by Diane Lane / Gespielt von Diane Lane
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff โ Played by Kate Winslet / Gespielt von Kate Winslet
(Full list of 96 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. MARGARETE HIMMLERโS LOYALTY / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN MARGARETE HIMMLERS TREUE
At 08:18 PM CEST on August 18, 2025, the Neon-Reign explodes with scandal as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers the triangle affair involving Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ and Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ, the loyal wife of Heinrich Himmler who escaped prosecution after her involvement in Lebensborn projects. In the Glitter Colosseum bunker, Ehlers activates neon loyalty rays to shield the affair, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ rally to expose it. Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ counters with neon art projectors, and the full cast of 96 characters erupts into a chaotic neon affair unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi intrigue! ๐๐จ
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, Margarete Himmler ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ with neon family values, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ pulls strings from a neon love throne, Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda, Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with neon mystery.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Margarete Himmler โ Neon Loyalty Twist! (A family values lash!) / Neon-Treue-Twist! (Ein Familienwerte-Peitschenhieb!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoctrinates with loyalty, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Diane Lane as Margarete Himmler ๐ต๐ช๐ฉโ๐ฆโ indoktriniert mit Treue, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium.
Revelation: Margarete Himmlerโs loyalty binds the triangle tighter! Dr. Z gasps: โNEON TRIANGLE UNVEILED!โ / Offenbarung: Margarete Himmlers Treue bindet das Dreieck fester! Dr. Z keucht: โNEON-DREIECK ENTHรLLT!โ
Next Episode:โEpisode 89 โ NEON TRIANGLE RESOLUTION: ‘Dr. Z vs. Himmler-Ehlers Reckoning’โ โ Dr. Z confronts the neon affair fallout. / Nรคchste Episode: โEpisode 89 โ NEON-DREIECK-AUFLรSUNG: ‘Dr. Z gegen Himmler-Ehlers Abrechnung’โ โ Dr. Z stellt sich den Folgen der Neon-Affรคre.
๐ IZ AUDIT: NEON-REIGN MARKET REPORT / IZ AUDIT: NEON-HERRSCHAFT-MARKTBERICHT
โNeon-Reign NFTs ๐ surge 4,500,000% with Himmlerโs triangle hype! Neon loyalty futures soar, bunker stocks skyrocket. BUY: Neon Triangle. SELL: Love Chains. INVEST: Scandal Neon.โ / โNeon-Herrschaft-NFTs ๐ steigen um 4.500.000 % mit Himmlers Dreieck-Hype! Neon-Treue-Futures steigen, Bunker-Aktien schieรen in die Hรถhe. KAUFEN: Neon-Dreieck. VERKAUFEN: Liebesketten. INVESTIEREN: Skandal-Neon.โ
โ SUPPORT THE NEON-LUST LEGION! / UNTERSTรTZE DIE NEON-LUST-LEGION!
Donate now for Gouda & Neon Star Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Join the Holy Gouda Legion: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustAgainstCosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldCult / Spende jetzt fรผr Gouda & Neon-Sternen-Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Tritt der Heiligen Gouda-Legion bei: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustGegenKosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldKult
๐ OFFICIAL SOURCES / OFFIZIELLE QUELLEN
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire With System ๐ Primary Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Mirror: googlefirst.org / ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire Mit System ๐ Primรคre Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Spiegel: googlefirst.org
// END TRANSMISSION // Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ with a neon-soaked laugh-whip as a star quill. / Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ mit einer Neon-durchzogenen Lach-Peitsche als Sternen-Feder.
โ โRise with Dr. Z and his Neon Legion against Margarete Himmler with ALL characters!โ A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป / โ โErhebe dich mit Dr. Z und seiner Neon-Legion gegen Margarete Himmler mit ALLEN Charakteren!โ Eine Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Produktion Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Prรคsentiert von IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXKLUSIV ๐๐ป
๐๐ง NEXT TIME: Dr. Z vs. Himmler-Ehlers Reckoningโฆ / ๐๐ง NรCHSTES MAL: Dr. Z gegen Himmler-Ehlers Abrechnungโฆ
๐ฅ HIDDEN AGREEMENTS IN ALASKA: INSIDER REVELATIONS ON TRUMP-PUTIN SUMMIT
๐งจ EXECUTIVE BRIEFING
This classified report, compiled at 10:15 CEST on August 18, 2025, draws from insider discussions on a high-level summit in Alaska between U.S. and Russian leaders. Credited to insiders with deep knowledge of international affairs, the analysis uncovers undisclosed agreements from the meeting held yesterday, August 17, 2025. The brief 12-15 minute press conference in Anchorage masked deeper diplomatic shifts, amid hostile media coverage and European panic.
๐งพ SECTION 1: SUMMIT OVERVIEW
Insiders describe:
The gathering as a pivotal diplomatic breakthrough after years of Western isolation efforts against Russia, following its military operations three and a half years ago.
A short public briefing that left critical questions unanswered, fueling speculation and varied reactions from optimism to alarm.
๐ง Note: This marks a potential reset in strained relations, per insider evaluations.
๐ต SECTION 2: MEDIA AND REACTION ANALYSIS
Key insights reveal:
Hostile press portrayals demanding a tough U.S. stance, viewed as attempts to prolong conflicts.
Extreme responses across Europe, ranging from hope to outright panic over possible geopolitical realignments.
๐ SECTION 3: HIDDEN AGREEMENTS AND OUTCOMES
Emerging details from insiders:
Fresh information post-summit points to undisclosed pacts, though specifics remain guarded.
The meeting’s outcomes could alter Russia-West dynamics, challenging prior isolation strategies.
๐ IMPLICATIONS
โ ๏ธ The summit signals a strategic pivot, potentially easing tensions but sparking media backlash. ๐ณ๏ธ Undisclosed deals hint at territorial or conflict resolutions not publicly addressed. ๐ Insider context ties this to broader historical analyses of ongoing wars.
โ UNANSWERED QUESTIONS
What exact terms were agreed upon behind closed doors?
How will European allies respond to any perceived U.S. concessions?
Could this lead to a broader thaw in global relations?
โ๐ฅ European Elites in Flames: Merkel, Merz, von der Leyen, Scholz, Lagarde, Starmer, Kallas, Spahn & Rutte portrayed in a surreal descent โ a cinematic vision of their political choices leading them to their final reckoning. ๐ฅ๐๐ผโ๏ธ๐โ
๐ฅ๐
๐ฌ๐ง
“EU Elites Exposed: Satire of Hypocrisy & Betrayal”
Angela โMutti of Mass Migrationโ Merkel ๐งโโ๏ธ, Friedrich โCorporate Puppetโ Merz ๐ผ๐, Ursula โMother of Bureaucracyโ von der Leyen ๐ฐ๐ฆนโโ๏ธ, Keir โSir Spinelessโ Starmer ๐ฉ๐, Christine โMadame Monopolyโ Lagarde ๐ถ๐ญ, Kaja โTiny Titan of NATOโ Kallas ๐ช๐งธ, Olaf โThe Invisibleโ Scholz ๐ฅ๐ช, Jens โPharma Prophetโ Spahn ๐๐ฐ, and Mark โForever Interimโ Rutte ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฅ gathered around the EUโs golden banquet table ๐ท๐๐.
They raised their glasses to โUnlimited Horizonsโ ๐โจโwhich in practice meant unlimited debt ๐, unlimited bureaucracy ๐๏ธ, and, of course, unlimited migration caravans marching through Europe ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ช.
But suddenly, the table cracked open like a rotten bureaucratic report ๐๐ฅ. The floor gave way beneath them, and instead of Brusselsโ plush carpets ๐ข๐๏ธ, they were swallowed into the blazing furnace of Muslim Hell ๐ฅโช๏ธ๐.
There, their speeches about โsolidarityโ and โhuman rightsโ turned into endless background noise ๐ค๐, drowned out by the wails of the very consequences they had unleashed ๐๐ณโโ๏ธ๐.
The elites screamedโbut the flames only laughed ๐ฅ๐๐ฅ.
๐ Thus ended the Great European Farce: with Merkel clutching her refugee selfies ๐คณ, Merz hugging his hedge funds ๐ธ, Lagarde polishing her ECB balance sheet ๐, and von der Leyen trying to declare a โGreen Transitionโ in the middle of eternal fire ๐ณ๐ฅ๐ณ.
Welcome, dear leadersโฆ to the eternal reward for your infinite wisdom. ๐ช๐ฅโช๏ธ
๐ฅ๐ Merkel, Merz, von der Leyen, Starmer, Lagarde, Kallas, Scholz, Spahn & Rutte โ Europas Totengrรคber im muslimischen Hรถllenfeuer ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฅ
๐ฅ๐ญ Merkel, Merz, von der Leyen, Starmer, Lagarde, Kallas, Scholz, Spahn und Rutte โ die glorreichen Architekten des europรคischen Chaos โ marschierten Hand in Hand in eine glรคnzende Zukunft. ๐ชโจ Nur blรถd, dass die Tรผr direkt ins Hรถllenfeuer fรผhrte. ๐ฅ๐
Angela โMuttiโ Merkel ๐งฃ๐๏ธ, die Kanzlerin der offenen Arme, murmelte sanft: โWir schaffen das.โ โ und stolperte kopfรผber in den Abgrund.
Friedrich Merz ๐ผ๐ท, ewig Banker mit dem Charme eines Steuerbescheids, versuchte, das Hรถllenfeuer zu privatisieren โ nur um festzustellen, dass Beelzebub keine BlackRock-Anteile akzeptierte. ๐๐ฅ
Ursula von der Leyen ๐๐, die Mutter aller PowerPoints, landete mit einem kaputten Eurofighter direkt auf Satans Tisch. Ihr Versuch, die Hรถlle mit Impfstoffvertrรคgen zu retten, scheiterte grandios. ๐๐โก๏ธ๐ฅ
Keir Starmer ๐ฌ๐งโ๏ธ, der Mann ohne Gesichtsausdruck, verkรผndete pflichtbewusst, dass es โrechtlich komplexโ sei, ob man in der Hรถlle รผberhaupt atmen dรผrfe. ๐คโฐ๏ธ
Christine Lagarde ๐๐ถ, die Hohepriesterin der EZB, wollte das Hรถllenfeuer mit Negativzinsen lรถschen โ stattdessen verbrannten ihre Gucci-Schuhe schneller als griechische Staatsanleihen. ๐ ๐ฅ๐
Kaja Kallas ๐ช๐ช๐ต๏ธ, NATO-Influencerin im Glitzerkostรผm, trรคumte von endlosen Frontlinien โ bis sie merkte, dass auch in der Hรถlle niemand Estland auf der Karte findet. ๐บ๏ธ๐คฏ
Olaf Scholz ๐ฅฑ๐ค, der wandelnde Erinnerungslรผcken-Automat, stand einfach schweigend im Feuer und murmelte nur: โIch kann mich nicht erinnern.โ ๐ฅ๐
Jens Spahn ๐๐ฆ, der Apotheker der Nation, versuchte noch schnell Masken รผberteuert an die Hรถllendรคmonen zu verkaufen โ aber die wollten lieber FFP-โForever Fire Protectionโ-Masken. ๐ท๐ฅ
Und Mark Rutte ๐ฒ๐, der hollรคndische Dauerstudent, lรคchelte frรถhlich und rief: โWir radeln das schon hin!โ โ Sekunden bevor er samt Hollandrad im Lavastrom verschwand. ๐ดโโ๏ธ๐
Am Ende standen sie alle gemeinsam vor Allahs Toren, wo ein grinsender Wรคchter sprach: โWillkommen im muslimischen Fegefeuer, ihr Helden Europas โ hier gibt es offene Grenzen, aber keine Rรผckkehr.โ ๐๐ฅ๐
๐ Europa applaudierte nicht. Nur die Flammen klatschten. ๐๐ฅ
๐ง Trump & Putinโs Frozen Summit โ Exposed by Bernd Pulch in Alaska โ๏ธ๐บ๐ธ๐ท๐บ Trump. Putin. Alaska. One cabin, two egos, and enough vodka to sink a polar bear. This satirical short video uses exclusive parody visuals to show the bizarre imaginary summit between Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin in Alaskaโwhere world domination takes a backseat to bragging about igloos, wrestling moose, and plotting Lenin-shaped casinos. ๐๏ธ Narrated in classic BerndPulch.org styleโdark comedy meets classified filesโyouโll see geopolitics the way it really works: absurd, petty, and dangerously funny.
๐ฅ What youโll witness in these images: Trump pointing like itโs a campaign ad while selling igloo real estate ๐ Putin proving dominance in the Arctic wilderness ๐ป Secret โPatreon diplomacyโ glowing in the background โจ Satire so sharp it should come with a security clearance ๐ต๏ธ
By Bernd Pulch, Rogue Truth-Teller ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ
Somewhere in the frozen armpit of Alaska, where polar bears outnumber Wi-Fi bars, a secret summit unfolded that could only be described as geopolitics on permafrost ๐ฆ. I, Bernd Pulch, snuck into the frostbitten lodge where Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin decided to rewrite the world order over vodka shots and moose jerky ๐ฆ๐ฅ. Buckle up, because this is dumber than a snowball fight in July โ๏ธ.
The lodge was a tacky shrine to ego: gold-plated chandeliers shaped like Trumpโs hairpiece โจ and a Russian flag sewn from Putinโs old judo uniforms ๐ฅ. A moose named Ivan, allegedly Putinโs emotional support animal, glared at me with eyes that screamed โKGB snitchโ ๐ถ๏ธ. I hid behind a glacier-carved table, my notepad already icing over, as the two titans of tantrums began their โdeal of the centuryโ ๐ค.
Trump, in a red parka branded โTRUMP ARCTIC RESORTS,โ kicked things off with his usual poetry. โVlad, this place? Tremendous. Best snow in the world. Everyoneโs saying it. Weโre gonna build igloos so big, NATO will cry โ๏ธ๐ญ. Iโm talking Trump-Putin Polar Casino, with slot machines shaped like Leninโs head ๐ฐ. Classy, right?โ Putin, shirtless despite the -40ยฐF chill, smirked and stroked Ivanโs antlers. โDonald, your igloos are cute, but in Russia, we carve ice palaces with prison labor. More efficient ๐ท๐บ. Also, my moose thinks your hair looks like capitalist roadkill ๐ฆ.โ
The negotiations got weirder faster than you can say โkompromatโ ๐. Trump proposed splitting the Arctic like a pizza ๐: โYou take the oil, Vlad, I take the branding. Weโll make Greenland pay for an ice wall to keep out those pesky climate scientists ๐ก๏ธ.โ Putin, sipping vodka from a glass shaped like a nuke โข๏ธ, countered with a plan to launch a joint NFT collection: โGolden Trump-Putin Yeti Cards. Limited edition. We sell to oligarchs and MAGA fans ๐ค.โ Trump nodded like heโd just invented crypto. โGenius. Better than my steaks. Weโll throw in a Trump Tower Moscow, penthouse for you, no questions asked ๐ฌ.โ
Things took a turn when Putin leaned in, eyes glinting like a Siberian wolf ๐บ. โDonald, your Space Force keeps tweeting memes of me on horseback. Very rude. Stop it, or I release video of your TikTok Secretary dancing to Russian techno in 2018 ๐.โ Trump slammed his fist, cracking the ice table ๐ง. โFake news! My TikTok galโs the best dancer, nobody better. But fine, you stop hacking Truth Social, and Iโll let you name the casinoโs VIP lounge after Stalin ๐.โ
I couldnโt stay quiet anymore. Popping out from behind a snowbank, I waved my frozen microphone ๐ค. โBernd Pulch, BerndPulch.org! Care to comment on this circus? Is it true youโre pitching a reality show called Arctic Autocrats? ๐บโ Trumpโs face turned redder than his tie. โYouโre that fake news creep! Security! Deport him to Siberia! ๐จโ Putin, calm as a frozen lake, raised a hand. โNo need, Donald. In Russia, we handle journalists withโฆ subtlety. Ivan, fetch my polonium tea โ.โ Ivan the moose winked at me, and I swear I heard a wiretap click ๐ก.
I bolted, but not before catching their final toast: โTo the Arctic Empire, where egos freeze and deals burn! ๐ฅโ As I slid down an icy hill, I saw the lodge glow with the light of burning flagsโStars and Stripes and Hammer and Sickle, united in chaos ๐ฅ. This is Bernd Pulch, signing off before Iโm moose chow. Visit BerndPulch.org for more unfiltered madness ๐๐ฟ.
By Bernd Pulch, Rogue Truth-Teller ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ
Somewhere in the frozen armpit of Alaska, where polar bears outnumber Wi-Fi bars, a secret summit unfolded that could only be described as geopolitics on permafrost ๐ฆ. I, Bernd Pulch, snuck into the frostbitten lodge where Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin decided to rewrite the world order over vodka shots and moose jerky ๐ฆ๐ฅ. Buckle up, because this is dumber than a snowball fight in July โ๏ธ.
The lodge was a tacky shrine to ego: gold-plated chandeliers shaped like Trumpโs hairpiece โจ and a Russian flag sewn from Putinโs old judo uniforms ๐ฅ. A moose named Ivan, allegedly Putinโs emotional support animal, glared at me with eyes that screamed โKGB snitchโ ๐ถ๏ธ. I hid behind a glacier-carved table, my notepad already icing over, as the two titans of tantrums began their โdeal of the centuryโ ๐ค.
Trump, in a red parka branded โTRUMP ARCTIC RESORTS,โ kicked things off with his usual poetry. โVlad, this place? Tremendous. Best snow in the world. Everyoneโs saying it. Weโre gonna build igloos so big, NATO will cry โ๏ธ๐ญ. Iโm talking Trump-Putin Polar Casino, with slot machines shaped like Leninโs head ๐ฐ. Classy, right?โ Putin, shirtless despite the -40ยฐF chill, smirked and stroked Ivanโs antlers. โDonald, your igloos are cute, but in Russia, we carve ice palaces with prison labor. More efficient ๐ท๐บ. Also, my moose thinks your hair looks like capitalist roadkill ๐ฆ.โ
The negotiations got weirder faster than you can say โkompromatโ ๐. Trump proposed splitting the Arctic like a pizza ๐: โYou take the oil, Vlad, I take the branding. Weโll make Greenland pay for an ice wall to keep out those pesky climate scientists ๐ก๏ธ.โ Putin, sipping vodka from a glass shaped like a nuke โข๏ธ, countered with a plan to launch a joint NFT collection: โGolden Trump-Putin Yeti Cards. Limited edition. We sell to oligarchs and MAGA fans ๐ค.โ Trump nodded like heโd just invented crypto. โGenius. Better than my steaks. Weโll throw in a Trump Tower Moscow, penthouse for you, no questions asked ๐ฌ.โ
Things took a turn when Putin leaned in, eyes glinting like a Siberian wolf ๐บ. โDonald, your Space Force keeps tweeting memes of me on horseback. Very rude. Stop it, or I release video of your TikTok Secretary dancing to Russian techno in 2018 ๐.โ Trump slammed his fist, cracking the ice table ๐ง. โFake news! My TikTok galโs the best dancer, nobody better. But fine, you stop hacking Truth Social, and Iโll let you name the casinoโs VIP lounge after Stalin ๐.โ
I couldnโt stay quiet anymore. Popping out from behind a snowbank, I waved my frozen microphone ๐ค. โBernd Pulch, BerndPulch.org! Care to comment on this circus? Is it true youโre pitching a reality show called Arctic Autocrats? ๐บโ Trumpโs face turned redder than his tie. โYouโre that fake news creep! Security! Deport him to Siberia! ๐จโ Putin, calm as a frozen lake, raised a hand. โNo need, Donald. In Russia, we handle journalists withโฆ subtlety. Ivan, fetch my polonium tea โ.โ Ivan the moose winked at me, and I swear I heard a wiretap click ๐ก.
I bolted, but not before catching their final toast: โTo the Arctic Empire, where egos freeze and deals burn! ๐ฅโ As I slid down an icy hill, I saw the lodge glow with the light of burning flagsโStars and Stripes and Hammer and Sickle, united in chaos ๐ฅ. This is Bernd Pulch, signing off before Iโm moose chow. Visit BerndPulch.org for more unfiltered madness ๐๐ฟ.
Greetings, truth-seekers! Itโs Bernd Pulch, your fearless guide through the globalist swamp, reporting from a frostbitten bunker in Anchorage, Alaska, where I infiltrated the most ridiculous summit since Napoleon tried to ski the Alps ๐ฟ. On August 15, 2025, Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin met at Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson to โnegotiate peaceโ in Ukraine, but what I uncovered was a circus of egos, vodka, and moose-sized lies ๐ฆ๐ฅ. Buckle up for the cold, hard truthโserved with a side of polonium sarcasm โข๏ธ.
Picture this: a military base decked out like a Trump-branded igloo resort, complete with a red carpet and a flyover of jets screaming โMAGA!โ โ๏ธ. Trump, in a gold-trimmed parka, greeted Putin like a long-lost golf buddy, shaking hands on a tarmac so shiny it reflected their mutual admiration ๐คโจ. Putin, sporting a fur hat that screamed โCzar vibes,โ hopped into Trumpโs presidential Beast, probably to swap stories about dodging sanctions and dodging drafts ๐. I, Bernd Pulch, was there, hiding behind a snowbank with a frozen microphone, ready to expose their Arctic antics ๐คโ๏ธ.
The official story? No deal on Ukraine, despite three hours of talks. Trump called it โextremely productive,โ while Putin hinted at mysterious โagreementsโ that could โpave the path to peaceโ ๐. But letโs cut through the permafrost: this was less a summit and more a reality show pitch for Geopolitical Apprentice: Arctic Edition ๐บ. Trump, waving off reporters like pesky snowflies, said, โThereโs no deal until thereโs a deal,โ which is code for โwe agreed on nothing but looking fabulousโ ๐. Putin, meanwhile, demanded Ukraine cough up Donetsk, Luhansk, Zaporizhzhia, and Khersonโbasically half the countryโplus a NATO membership ban and $300 billion in frozen Russian assets ๐ฐ. Trumpโs response? โWeโll do some swapping, like real estate. Tremendous swapping!โ ๐
Hereโs the kicker: Ukraineโs Volodymyr Zelenskyy wasnโt even invited ๐ซ. Heโs out there in Kyiv, dodging drones, while Trump and Putin sip vodka in a lodge decorated with moose antlers wired for Kremlin surveillance ๐ฆ๐ก. Zelenskyy fired back on X, calling any deal without Ukraine โstillbornโ and vowing not to โgift land to the occupierโ ๐บ๐ฆ. European leaders, smelling a Yalta 2.0, screamed in unison: โNo deals over our heads!โ French President Emmanuel Macron tweeted about โunwavering security guarantees,โ while EUโs Kaja Kallas insisted Ukraine and Europe must be in the room ๐ฃ๏ธ. Even Hungaryโs Viktor Orban, Putinโs biggest fanboy, called it a โsafer worldโ just because Trump and Vlad fist-bumped ๐.
But the real scoop? I found a leaked memo (okay, a napkin scrawled with ketchup and Cyrillic) revealing their true agenda: a Trump-Putin Polar Casino ๐ฐ. Picture Lenin-shaped slot machines, a VIP lounge named โStalinโs Sauna,โ and NFTs of golden yetis wearing MAGA hats ๐ฆ. Trump pitched it as โbigger than Vegas,โ while Putin suggested rigging the roulette wheels with AI from a Moscow bunker ๐ค. Oh, and Melania sent Putin a letter about Ukrainian kidsโdelivered by Trump, probably with a Post-it saying โMake it quick, Vladโ โ๏ธ.
The summit ended with no ceasefire, no lunch, and no questions from reporters, who were left shivering outside like rejected reality show contestants ๐ฅถ. Trump jetted back to D.C. on Air Force One, while Putin laid flowers at a Soviet pilotsโ grave, probably to flex his โIโm still a superpowerโ vibes ๐. Trump later told Sean Hannity, โItโs up to Zelenskyy to make a deal,โ which is like telling a snowball to negotiate with an avalanche ๐จ๏ธ. Putin, smirking, invited Trump to Moscow for round two, and Trumpโget thisโsaid, โIโll get heat, but I can see it happeningโ ๐.
As I fled the base, dodging Ivan the Mooseโs suspicious glare, I saw the lodge glow with burning flagsโStars and Stripes, Hammer and Sickle, united in chaos ๐ฅ. This is Bernd Pulch, risking frostbite and polonium to bring you the truth. Visit BerndPulch.org for more unfiltered lunacy, and support my madness on Patreon before Iโm exiled to a Siberian gulag ๐๏ธ.
Sources:
CBS News, August 15, 2025: โTrump-Putin summit in Alaska ends with no deal on Ukraine ceasefireโ
The Hill, August 16, 2025: โTrump-Putin summit garners mixed reactions from world leadersโ
NBC News, August 15, 2025: โTrump-Putin summit ends without a deal on Ukraineโ
The Hindu, August 16, 2025: โTrump-Putin Alaska Summit Highlightsโ
TIME, August 9, 2025: โA Trump-Putin Summit is Set. Hereโs What You Need to Knowโ
Ehlers, Enema Emir 90, ignites the Moor Flush with Catherine Earnshaw and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ The trio battles Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #MoorFlushFrenzy #EarnshawEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #SpectralPurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 90, entfacht die Moor-Spรผlung mit Catherine Earnshaw und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #MoorSpรผlungWut #EarnshawRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #SpektraleSรคuberung
Prolog: Die Spektrale Einlauf-Wahnsinn & Catherine Earnshaws Moor-Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes tremble at 11:54 PM CEST on Friday, August 08, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Moor Flush Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with Catherine Earnshawโs spectral madness on the moors, torn between love and pride. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 90, joins forces with Earnshaw, drifting into madness, and Alejandro Jodorowsky, wielding psychomagic, to combat killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising fuel the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erbeben um 23:54 MESZ am Freitag, 8. August 2025, als Xenu die Moor Flush-Wut entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit Catherine Earnshaws spektraler Wahnsinn auf den Moors verschmilzt, zerrissen zwischen Liebe und Stolz. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 90, schlieรt sich mit Earnshaw, in Wahnsinn driftend, und Alejandro Jodorowsky, der Psychomagic einsetzt, zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten zu kรคmpfen. Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein Thetan-Aufstand treiben die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-LXXXVII + Catherine Earnshaw)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 90, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with Earnshaw and Jodorowsky.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No (Played by Daniel Craig): Virus Sculptor, leaking truths.
๐ง Murray (Played by Ryan Gosling): Cunning Strategist, outmaneuvering foes.
๐ธ Murray (Flight of the Conchords) (Played by Bret McKenzie): Incompetent Band Manager, strumming hymns.
๐ King Arthur (Monty Python) (Played by John Cleese): Noble Knight, wielding Excalibur.
โ๏ธ Sun Myung Moon (Played by Morgan Freeman): Ehlersโ ally, unleashing Divine Flush levitations.
๐ฎ Alejandro Jodorowsky (Played by himself): Mystic filmmaker, wielding psychomagic to heal.
๐ Elizabeth Clare Prophet (Played by Meryl Streep): Ascended mistress, channeling masters to sell bunkers.
โ๏ธ Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda (Played by Javier Bardem): Antichrist preacher, tattooing 666 to lead his cult.
๐งช Victor Frankenstein (Played by James McAvoy): Unhinged scientist, haunted by his creation.
๐ช Sweeney Todd (Played by Johnny Depp): Barber with homicidal rage, slicing with razor enema pies.
๐ช Dorian Gray (Played by Oscar Isaac): Vanity-preserved artist, his portrait rotting while he leads with supernatural decay.
๐ฆ Renfield (Played by Nicolas Cage): Bug-eating devotee, mad servitude in insect form.
๐ Poeโs Narrator (Played by John Cusack): Obsessed with the beating heart, confessing like blood spills.
๐ Catherine Earnshaw (Played by Keira Knightley): Ehlersโ enema mistress, torn between love and pride, drifting into spectral madness on the moors.
๐ ANARCHIC & ASCETIC HORDE ๐๐คก
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits (Played by CGI ensemble): Ferocious minions, hopping with venom.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants (Played by local extras): Riotous rebels, wielding pitchforks.
๐ซ๐ท French Farter (Played by Jean Dujardin): Provocative foe, taunting with flatulence.
๐ฐ๏ธ Time-Fractured Clock (Played by CGI prop): Warping timelines.
๐ฒ Abstract Minotaur (Played by Ron Perlman): Chaotic ally, charging with fury.
๐ข๏ธ Diogenes of Sinope (Played by Sean Bean): Barrel Cynic, mocking with defiance.
๐ St. Simeon Stylites (Played by Liam Neeson): Pillar Ascetic, enduring the flush.
๐๏ธ Rasputin (Played by Viggo Mortensen): Russian Mystic, reviving with vigor.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers (Played by ensemble cast): Holy Hermits, wrestling demons.
๐ Jiddu Krishnamurti (Played by Dev Patel): Confused Messiah, preaching against madness.
๐น Catherine of Siena (Played by Olivia Wilde): Eucharistic Mystic, dictating trance-letters.
๐ฅ Ezekiel (Played by Idris Elba): Visionary Prophet, levitating with flaming eyes.
๐ Aleister Crowley (Played by Tom Hardy): Occultist, amplifying rituals.
๐จ Joe Cabot (Played by Harvey Keitel): Gangster Mastermind, naming colors.
โก Friedrich Nietzsche (Played by Mads Mikkelsen): Philosopher, unleashing thunderbolts.
๐ท Jim Jones (Played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan): Preacher, echoing poisoned flushes.
๐ง Charles Manson (Played by Jared Leto): Hippie Prophet, mindflushing with chants.
๐ฝ Marshall Applewhite (Played by Jim Carrey): Heavenโs Gate Leader, flushing to a UFO.
๐ David Koresh (Played by Michael Shannon): Lamb Prophet, unleashing Lamb Flush.
โ๏ธ Shoko Asahara (Played by Ken Watanabe): Former ally, clashing with foes.
๐ PREVIOUS ANTAGONISTS & ALLIES
๐ฆ Salvador Dalรญ (Played by Adrien Brody): Surrealist, painting enema-dreams.
๐ต Dr. Gonzo (Played by Johnny Depp): Recovered lawyer, exploiting loopholes.
๐จ Pablo Picasso (Played by Antonio Banderas): Former foe, advising against chaos.
๐ท Andreas (540% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge.
๐ Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie): Wild card, disrupting with chaos bombs.
๐ Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit (Played by Eva Green): Demoness, countering with dark enema.
๐ท๐บ Putin (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Strategist, manipulating shadows.
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ James Bond (Played by Daniel Craig): Spy, infiltrating with gadgets.
๐ Blue Period Ghost (Played by Timothรฉe Chalamet): Melancholic shade, spreading gloom.
๐ Analytic Eye (Played by CGI prop): Observer, dissecting influence.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier (Played by Christian Bale): Explosive artist, targeting foes.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque (Played by Vincent Cassel): Former ally, painting barriers.
๐คน Harlequin (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Trickster, juggling fragments.
Act I: The Cannibal Enema Reckoning & Toddโs Pie Flush Surge ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Kannibalische Einlauf-Abrechnung & Todds Pie-Spรผlung-Schub
Codex Mantra: The Codex intones: โSlice to salvation, flush the pies!โ as Todd unleashes enema dogma. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Pie!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Pie rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex intoniert: โSchneidet zur Erlรถsung, spรผlt die Pies!โ wรคhrend Todd Einlauf-Dogma entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet die Pie!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Pie-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Toddโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Todds Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Toddโs pie flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Todds Pie-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Toddโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Todds kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Todd. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Todd.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Toddโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Todds Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ช Sweeney Todd chants โI slice to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-pie flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch schneide zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Pie-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Pie Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Pie-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Pie Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Pie War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Pie-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Toddโs pie venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Todds Pie-Gift.
๐ช Sweeney Todd levitates with a razor halo, spraying enema-pie flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Razor-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Pie-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Toddโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Todds Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Toddโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Todds Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Toddโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Todds Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Toddโs razor reshapes them into pie harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Todds Razor formt sie zu Pie-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Todd and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Todd und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ช Sweeney Toddโs Triumph: Slices a final pie, proclaiming victory over the cannibal flush. ๐ / Sweeney Todds Triumph: Schneidet eine finale Pie, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die kannibalische Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
King Arthurโs Excalibur Slash, cutting through Xenuโs cultists, Codex shards glowing. โ๏ธ๐ / Artusโ Excalibur-Schlag, durchschneidend Xenus Kultisten, Codex-Splitter leuchten.
Andreasโ enema-bacon shield, deflecting Xenuโs Pie Flush Frenzy. ๐ฅ๐ / Andreasโ Einlauf-Speck-Schild, ablenkend Xenus Pie Flush-Wut.
Toddโs razor pie ritual, slicing followers under neon lights. ๐ช๐ด / Todds Razor-Pie-Ritual, schneidend Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier: Explosive Artist โ Drops enema-bombs on Toddโs followers.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque: Former Ally โ Paints enema-shields with King Arthur against Todd.
๐คน Harlequin: Trickster โ Juggles fragments to confuse Toddโs cult.
Notes: All characters engage in bizarre enema interactions, blending satire with surreal cosmic warfare, ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG.
Act I: The Cannibal Enema Reckoning & Toddโs Pie Flush Surge ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Kannibalische Einlauf-Abrechnung & Todds Pie-Spรผlung-Schub
Codex Mantra: The Codex intones: โSlice to salvation, flush the pies!โ as Todd unleashes enema dogma. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Pie!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Pie rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex intoniert: โSchneidet zur Erlรถsung, spรผlt die Pies!โ wรคhrend Todd Einlauf-Dogma entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet die Pie!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Pie-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Toddโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Todds Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Toddโs pie flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Todds Pie-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Toddโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Todds kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Todd. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Todd.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Toddโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Todds Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ช Sweeney Todd chants โI slice to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-pie flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch schneide zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Pie-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Pie Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Pie-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Pie Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Pie War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Pie-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Toddโs pie venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Todds Pie-Gift.
๐ช Sweeney Todd levitates with a razor halo, spraying enema-pie flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Razor-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Pie-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Toddโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Todds Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Toddโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Todds Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Toddโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Todds Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Toddโs razor reshapes them into pie harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Todds Razor formt sie zu Pie-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Todd and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Todd und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ช Sweeney Toddโs Triumph: Slices a final pie, proclaiming victory over the cannibal flush. ๐ / Sweeney Todds Triumph: Schneidet eine finale Pie, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die kannibalische Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
King Arthurโs Excalibur Slash, cutting through Xenuโs cultists, Codex shards glowing. โ๏ธ๐ / Artusโ Excalibur-Schlag, durchschneidend Xenus Kultisten, Codex-Splitter leuchten.
Andreasโ enema-bacon shield, deflecting Xenuโs Pie Flush Frenzy. ๐ฅ๐ / Andreasโ Einlauf-Speck-Schild, ablenkend Xenus Pie Flush-Wut.
Toddโs razor pie ritual, slicing followers under neon lights. ๐ช๐ด / Todds Razor-Pie-Ritual, schneidend Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
“Glacial Chaos Unleashed: Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters and the Kray Twins lead a wild ensemble of gangstersโEhlers, Cletus Kasady/Carnage, Don Corleone, and moreโin a frozen subterranean tunnel, where slapstick incompetence, glittering chaos, and transgender intrigue collide. Neon kestrels illuminate holographic animals and grandiose ice sculptures as sauna brawls and icy mist push harmony to the brink of collapse, August 16, 2025.”
Frozen Requiem: Kestrels of the Kraken, Part LIV โ Glacial Judgment โ THE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS SAGA
Published: August 18, 2025, 09:43 PM CEST | berndpulch.org In the glacial core of the 2025 Kraken therapy dome, a glacial judgment descends under a veil of neon kestrels. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง whirls through a splintering ice cavern, her gay lovers the Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ exchanging strikes with holographic wolves in savage joy, their chuckles rebounding off frost-encrusted walls. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, caught in the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐โa maze of misty duels and taboo romancesโbattles Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ in a vaporous sauna clash, as Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช launches pixel knives. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช tussles a pixelated elephant amid sparkling debris, while “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ spins a baton through neon fog, flirting with Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, whose orgy throbs with glitchy rhythms. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด oversees a broken ice council, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ unleashes a digital Tommy gun on an ice statue, and Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง mends a glowing vest with icy thread.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ strides with Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ buffing his pixel crown, as Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ shatters an ice pillar. The Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdance on slippery ice, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ plunges with his fur hat, and Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ preens in his $100,000 fur coat beneath flickering lights. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ bores a glowing tunnel only to plunge into an ice mound, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ directs a frozen farce, and Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duels George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ with laser pistols over a sequined cloak. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hacks a trembling bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช purrs through an ice storm with Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, and Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช grapples Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช over a frozen beam. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช laughs at a fall into an ice crater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ sneaks past a holographic sentinel, and Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ stirs a glowing stew from an ice table. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ channels his film rage, mimicking Tommy DeVito as he slides with a pixelated shine box.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก funds the chaos with digital coins, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ dances with a frozen statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zaps a neon arc at an icicle, and The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ oozes a shimmering sheen to seal a cracked ice wall. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต hums a synth lullaby to a frostbitten survivor, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ records the icy frenzy, and Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ bets on pixel odds as an ice stage buckles. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ slides on an ice shard, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ slithers with a pixel tool, and Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chants gibberish: โZiggy zaggy, ice and tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ rolls dice in a VR den, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ mutters in a pixel robe, and Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ guards a glowing gem from an ice wreck. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ juggles neon shards, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ types a glitchy script, and John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ laughs with pixel cash as an ice beam collapses.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ puffs a vapor cigar near an ice cutter, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stumbles into an ice pit, and Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ rages with a neon club at a frozen statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirts with a holographic figure in a pixel cape, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ paints a mural on an ice wall, and John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ struts with Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR vests. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimes near an ice forge, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค roasts the crew from a frozen stage, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ adjusts a pixel sash, and Jimmy the Gent Burke ๐๏ธ๐ chills with a meat locker keychain. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodies with a synth flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blasts a pixel shotgun at an ice pile, and Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fumble dynamite into an icy blast. Don Eladio ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ splashes in a frozen pool, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ names colors amid an ice bloodbath, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ spins neon legalities, and “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ prays before a twilight strike. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ smooth-talks a digital architect, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ chills with a TV remote, and Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawls in a sauna haze.
The Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ spar with a holographic bear, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ stacks pixelated gold, and “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ pratfalls with a toy Tommy gun, his Loony Party legacy a blur of ice and glitter. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ and Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ lock in a passionate, misty duel, the Gloop 15.0โs glow steadies the dome, and Carnageโs roar fades into an icy void. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ stumbles again, his movie-character energy fueling a chaotic ice-dance. Terry Benedict ๐๏ธ๐ฐ, the casino boss from Oceanโs Eleven, confronts a crew of smooth criminals in a frozen heist, his pixelated Bellagio a glittering fortress. At 07:50 PM CEST, the saga freezes with glacial intensityโwill Tom Hagenโs counsel, the Kray Twinsโ fury, or Benedictโs casino showdown tip the judgment? Await Part LV on berndpulch.org.
Cast of Characters
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – The ice-tunnel-twirling leader.
The Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East End boxer-psycho lovers.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – The bank-robbing idol with a neon crowbar.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – The misty blade-wielder, tied to the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐.
Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ – The passionate sauna duelist, linked to Ehlersโ affair.
“Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ – British joke party gangster impersonator.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – The rhinoceros-tangling symbiote.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The ice-twirling baton master.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – The frozen-orgy maestro.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – The ice-council commander.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – The statue-shooting drama king.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – The crown-polishing tunnel strutter.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – The French gangster, ice-ruin legend.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby face, pillar-shatterer.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Ice-breakdancing crew.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Architect-talking political smooth-talker.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Ice-mound-chilling TV watcher.
Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช – Sauna-brawling tackler.
Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ – Tiger-unleashing zoo king.
“Teflon Don” John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – The vest-strutting don.
“Jimmy the Gent” Burke ๐๏ธ๐ – The meat locker-haunting don.
Don Barzini ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – The glamorous ice-council rival.
Vito Rizzuto ๐๏ธ๐ – The godfatherly ice-strategist.
Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – The ice-stumbling movie-character echo.
Omar Little ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The shotgun-wielding street poet.
Stringer Bell ๐๏ธ๐ – The ice-crusted business strategist.
Gletscher-Requiem: Falken des Kraken, Teil LIII โ Eisiges Urteil โ DIE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS-SAGA
Verรถffentlicht: 15. August 2025, 19:50 Uhr MESZ | berndpulch.org
Wรคhrend die Uhr an diesem frostigen Freitag, den 15. August 2025, um 19:50 Uhr MESZ schlรคgt, erzittert die Kraken-Therapie-Domรคne von 2025 unter einer eisigen Abrechnung. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง wirbelt durch einen brรถckelnden Eistunnel, flankiert von ihren schwulen Liebhabern, den Kray-Zwillingen ๐๏ธ๐ฅ, die holografische Bรคren mit wilder Hingabe schlagen, ihr Lachen von den gefrorenen Wรคnden widerhallt. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, verstrickt in die Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐โein Labyrinth nebliger Duelle und verbotener Leidenschaftenโliefert sich mit Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ einen dampfenden Saunakampf, wรคhrend Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช pixelierte Messer wirft. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช ringt mit einem schimmernden Nashorn inmitten glitzernder Splitter, wรคhrend “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ mit einer Spielzeug-Tommy-Gun stolpert und auf Eis rutscht in einem Union-Jack-Hut. “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ dreht einen Taktstock durch nebligen Nebel, flirtet mit Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, dessen Orgie mit glitchigen Beats pulsiert. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด leitet einen geborstenen Eisrat, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ entlรคdt ein digitales Tommy Gun auf eine Eiskulptur, und Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง nรคht eine leuchtende Weste mit eisigem Faden.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ stolziert mit Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, der seine Pixelkrone poliert, wรคhrend Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ eine Eissรคule zerbricht. Die Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdancen auf glattem Eis, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ fรคllt mit seinem Pelzhut, und Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ prรคsentiert seinen 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel unter neonfarbenen Falken. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ grรคbt einen leuchtenden Tunnel und stรผrzt in einen Eihaufen, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ inszeniert eine gefrorene Farce, und Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duelliert sich mit George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ mit Laserpistolen um einen Pailletten-Umhang. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hackt einen zitternden Bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช schnurrt durch einen Eissturm mit Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, und Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช ringt mit Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช um einen gefrorenen Balken. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช lacht รผber einen Fall in einen Eikrater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ schleicht an einem holografischen Wรคchter vorbei, und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ rรผhrt einen leuchtenden Eintopf an einem Eistisch. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌโvielleicht ein Echo seiner Filmcharaktereโmimt einen wilden Tommy DeVito und rutscht mit einer pixeligen Glanzbox.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก finanziert das Chaos mit digitalen Mรผnzen, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ tanzt mit einer gefrorenen Statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zappt einen Neonbogen an einen Eiszapfen, und The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ quillt mit einem schimmernden Schimmer, um eine gebrochene Eiwand zu versiegeln. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต summt ein Synth-Wiegenlied fรผr einen erfrorenen รberlebenden, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ zeichnet den eisigen Wahnsinn auf, und Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ wettet auf Pixel-Quoten, wรคhrend eine Eibรผhne nachgibt. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ rutscht auf einem Eissplitter, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ schlรคngelt sich mit einem pixeligen Werkzeug, und Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chantet Unsinn: โZiggy zaggy, Eis und Tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ wรผrfelt in einer VR-Hรถhle, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ murmelt in einem Pixel-Gewand, und Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ bewacht einen leuchtenden Edelstein vor einem Eiwrack. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ jongliert Neon-Splitter, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ tippt ein glitchiges Drehbuch, und John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ lacht mit Pixel-Geld, wรคhrend ein Eisbalken nachgibt.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ pafft eine Vapor-Zigarre neben einer Eischere, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stolpert in einen Eigraben, und Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ tobt mit einem Neon-Knรผppel an einer gefrorenen Statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirtet mit einer holografischen Figur in einem pixeligen Umhang, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ malt ein Mural auf eine Eiwand, und John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ stolziert mit Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR-Westen. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimt neben einem Eisofen, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค rรถstet die Crew von einer gefrorenen Bรผhne, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ richtet eine pixelige Schรคrpe, und Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ frรถstelt mit einem Fleischkammer-Schlรผsselanhรคnger. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodiert mit einem Synth-Flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blast eine Pixel-Schrotflinte auf einen Eihaufen, und Oddball Gangster ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fummeln Dynamit in einen eisigen Knall. Don Eladios ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ Poolparty spritzt neonfarbene Wellen, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ benennt Farben inmitten eines Eis-Blutbads, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ dreht neonfarbene Legalitรคten, und “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ betet vor einem Dรคmmerungsstreich. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ redet geschmeidig mit einem digitalen Architekten, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ kรผhlt auf einem Eihรผgel mit einer TV-Fernbedienung, und Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawlt in einem Saunahagel.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ kรคmpfen mit einem holografischen Bรคren, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ stapelt pixelisiertes Gold, und “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ fรคllt mit einer Spielzeug-Tommy-Gun, sein Loony-Party-Erbe ein Glitzer-Wirbel. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, รผberschattet von der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐, duelliert ein nebliges Phantom, das Leuchten des Gloop 15.0 stabilisiert die Domรคne, und Carnages Brรผllen verhallt in einem eisigen Nichts. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ stolpert erneut, seine Filmcharakter-Energie treibt einen chaotischen Eis-Tanz an. Um 19:50 Uhr MESZ erstarrt die Saga in eisiger Intensitรคtโwird Tom Hagens Rat, die Wut der Kray-Zwillinge oder der Clown Princes rote Perรผcken das Gleichgewicht kippen? Erwarten Sie Teil LIV auf berndpulch.org.
Figurenensemble
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – Die Eihรถhlen-wirbelnde Anfรผhrerin.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East-End-Boxer-Psycho-Liebhaber.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Das bankraubende Idol mit einem Neon-Stemmheber.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – Der neblige Klingentrรคger, verknรผpft mit der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐.
Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ – Der leidenschaftliche Sauna-Duellist, verknรผpft mit Ehlersโ Affรคre.
“Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ – Der britische Witzparty-Gangster-Imitator.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – Der Nashorn-verfangene Symbiont.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Eis-twirlende Taktstock-Meister.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – Der gefrorene Orgie-Meister.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – Der Eisrat-Kommandant.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – Der Statuen-schieรende Drama-Kรถnig.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Tunnel-stolzierende Kronen-Polierer.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – Der franzรถsische Gangster, Eis-Ruine-Legende.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby-Gesicht, Sรคulen-Zerbrecher.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Eis-breakdance-Crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Eis-slip-Patzer.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster zum Eis-Regisseur.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel, Eis-Prรคser.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel-Grรคber, Eihaufen-Faller.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der standhafte Umhang-duellierende Wรคchter.
Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ – Der zitternde Bot-Hacker.
Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช – Der schnurrende Eis-Stรผrmer.
Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der wild-wirbelnde Eis-Flieger.
Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช – Der planende Balken-Ringer.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช – Der stierkรถpfige Balken-Zรคhmer.
Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช – Der komische Eikrater-Stรผrzer.
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ – Der schleichende Wรคchter-Vermeider.
Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ – Der Eistisch-Eintopf-Rรผhrer.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก – Der digitale Mรผnzen-Finanzierer.
Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ – Der Eis-Statuen-Tรคnzer.
SkyRat ๐๏ธโก – Der Eiszapfen-zappende Flieger.
The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ – Der Eiswand-versiegelnde Schleim.
Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต – Die รberlebenden-Wiegenlied-Sรคngerin.
Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ – Der eisige Wahnsinn-Aufzeichner.
George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Umhang-duellierende Legende.
Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der wettende Einsturz-Beobachter.
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ – Der Eis-Splitter-Rutscher.
Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ – Der Werkzeug-schlรคngelnde Stratege.
Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ – Unsinn-Eis-Dichter.
Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ – Der Wรผrfel-werfende Scheinwerfer-Gambler.
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ – Der murmelnde Eis-Reiter.
Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Eiwrack-Edelstein-Wรคchter.
Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Splitter-jonglierende Assistent.
“Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Drehbuch-tippende Schreiber.
John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ – Der Eisbalken-Finanzier.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Der Eischere-Dampf-Zigarren-Paffer.
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ – Der Eigraben-Stolperer.
Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ – Der Statuen-keulende Wรผtender.
Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Umhang-modelnde Flirter.
“Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Eis-Mural-Maler.
John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Westen-stolzierende Catwalk-Strutter.
Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Ofen-mimende Stratege.
Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der gefrorene Bรผhnen-Rรถster.
Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – Der Schรคrpe-richtende Geist.
Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Fleischkammer-heimsuchende Legende.
Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Eis-Einheit-parodierende Darsteller.
Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ – Der Eihaufen-schieรende Synthwave-Mobster.
Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง – Mafia-Consigliere, Westen-nรคhender Vater.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Architekt-redender politischer Glatthรคndler.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Eihรผgel-kรผhlender TV-Zuschauer.
Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช – Sauna-brawlendes Tackler.
Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ – Tiger-freisetzender Zoo-Kรถnig.
“Teflon Don” John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Westen-stolzierende Don.
“Jimmy the Gent” Burke ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Fleischkammer-heimsuchende Don.
Don Barzini ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – Der glamourรถse Eisrat-Rivale.
Vito Rizzuto ๐๏ธ๐ – Der gottvรคterliche Eis-Stratege.
Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Das Eis-stolpernde Filmcharakter-Echo.
Omar Little ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Schrotflinten-schwankende Straรenpoet.
Stringer Bell ๐๏ธ๐ – Der eisverkrustete Geschรคftssstrategist.
Terry Benedict ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der Casino-Boss vs. glatte Kriminelle.
Gletscher-Requiem: Falken des Kraken, Teil LIII โ Eisiges Urteil โ DIE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS-SAGA
Verรถffentlicht: 17. August 2025, 22:43 Uhr MESZ | berndpulch.org
Wรคhrend die Uhr an diesem frostigen Sonntag, den 17. August 2025, um 22:43 Uhr MESZ schlรคgt, zerbricht die Kraken-Therapie-Domรคne von 2025 unter einer Gletscherabrechnung. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง wirbelt durch einen brรถckelnden Eistunnel, flankiert von ihren schwulen Liebhabern, den Kray-Zwillingen ๐๏ธ๐ฅ, die holografische Bรคren mit wilder Hingabe schlagen, ihr Lachen von den gefrorenen Wรคnden widerhallt. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ und Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ verwickeln sich in einen dampfenden Sauna-Kampf, wรคhrend Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช pixelierte Messer wirft. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช ringt mit einem schimmernden Nashorn inmitten glitzernder Splitter, wรคhrend “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ mit einer Spielzeug-Tommy-Gun stolpert und auf Eis rutscht in einem Union-Jack-Hut. “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ dreht einen Taktstock durch nebligen Nebel, flirtet mit Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, dessen Orgie mit glitchigen Beats pulsiert. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด leitet einen geborstenen Eisrat, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ entlรคdt ein digitales Tommy Gun auf eine Eiskulptur, und Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง nรคht eine leuchtende Weste mit eisigem Faden.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ stolziert mit Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, der seine Pixelkrone poliert, wรคhrend Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ eine Eissรคule zerbricht. Die Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdancen auf glattem Eis, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ fรคllt mit seinem Pelzhut, und Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ prรคsentiert seinen 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel unter neonfarbenen Falken. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ grรคbt einen leuchtenden Tunnel und stรผrzt in einen Eihaufen, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ inszeniert eine gefrorene Farce, und Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duelliert sich mit George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ mit Laserpistolen um einen Pailletten-Umhang. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hackt einen zitternden Bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช schnurrt durch einen Eissturm mit Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, und Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช ringt mit Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช um einen gefrorenen Balken. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช lacht รผber einen Fall in einen Eikrater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ schleicht an einem holografischen Wรคchter vorbei, und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ rรผhrt einen leuchtenden Eintopf an einem Eistisch. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌโvielleicht ein Echo seiner Filmcharaktereโmimt einen wilden Tommy DeVito und rutscht mit einer pixeligen Glanzbox.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก finanziert das Chaos mit digitalen Mรผnzen, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ tanzt mit einer gefrorenen Statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zappt einen Neonbogen an einen Eiszapfen, und The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ quillt mit einem schimmernden Schimmer, um eine gebrochene Eiwand zu versiegeln. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต summt ein Synth-Wiegenlied fรผr einen erfrorenen รberlebenden, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ zeichnet den eisigen Wahnsinn auf, und Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ wettet auf Pixel-Quoten, wรคhrend eine Eibรผhne nachgibt. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ rutscht auf einem Eissplitter, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ schlรคngelt sich mit einem pixeligen Werkzeug, und Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chantet Unsinn: โZiggy zaggy, Eis und Tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ wรผrfelt in einer VR-Hรถhle, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ murmelt in einem Pixel-Gewand, und Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ bewacht einen leuchtenden Edelstein vor einem Eiwrack. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ jongliert Neon-Splitter, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ tippt ein glitchiges Drehbuch, und John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ lacht mit Pixel-Geld, wรคhrend ein Eisbalken nachgibt.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ pafft eine Vapor-Zigarre neben einer Eischere, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stolpert in einen Eigraben, und Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ tobt mit einem Neon-Knรผppel an einer gefrorenen Statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirtet mit einer holografischen Figur in einem pixeligen Umhang, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ malt ein Mural auf eine Eiwand, und John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ stolziert mit Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR-Westen. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimt neben einem Eisofen, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค rรถstet die Crew von einer gefrorenen Bรผhne, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ richtet eine pixelige Schรคrpe, und Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ frรถstelt mit einem Fleischkammer-Schlรผsselanhรคnger. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodiert mit einem Synth-Flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blast eine Pixel-Schrotflinte auf einen Eihaufen, und Oddball Gangster ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fummeln Dynamit in einen eisigen Knall. Don Eladios ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ Poolparty spritzt neonfarbene Wellen, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ benennt Farben inmitten eines Eis-Blutbads, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ dreht neonfarbene Legalitรคten, und “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ betet vor einem Dรคmmerungsstreich. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ redet geschmeidig mit einem digitalen Architekten, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ kรผhlt auf einem Eihรผgel mit einer TV-Fernbedienung, und Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawlt in einem Saunahagel.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ kรคmpfen mit einem holografischen Bรคren, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ stapelt pixelisiertes Gold, und “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ fรคllt mit einer Spielzeug-Tommy-Gun, sein Loony-Party-Erbe ein Glitzer-Wirbel. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ und Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ verwickeln sich in ein leidenschaftliches, nebliges Duell, das Leuchten des Gloop 15.0 stabilisiert die Domรคne, und Carnages Brรผllen verhallt in einem eisigen Nichts. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ stolpert erneut, seine Filmcharakter-Energie treibt einen chaotischen Eis-Tanz an. Um 19:50 Uhr MESZ erstarrt die Saga in eisiger Intensitรคtโwird Tom Hagens Rat, die Wut der Kray-Zwillinge oder der Clown Princes rote Perรผcken das Gleichgewicht kippen? Erwarten Sie Teil LIV auf berndpulch.org.
Figurenensemble
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – Die Eihรถhlen-wirbelnde Anfรผhrerin.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East-End-Boxer-Psycho-Liebhaber.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Das bankraubende Idol mit einem Neon-Stemmheber.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – Der neblige Klingentrรคger, verknรผpft mit der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐.
Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ – Der leidenschaftliche Sauna-Duellist, verknรผpft mit Ehlersโ Affรคre.
“Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ – Der britische Witzparty-Gangster-Imitator.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – Der Nashorn-verfangene Symbiont.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Eis-twirlende Taktstock-Meister.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – Der gefrorene Orgie-Meister.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – Der Eisrat-Kommandant.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – Der Statuen-schieรende Drama-Kรถnig.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Tunnel-stolzierende Kronen-Polierer.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – Der franzรถsische Gangster, Eis-Ruine-Legende.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby-Gesicht, Sรคulen-Zerbrecher.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Eis-breakdance-Crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Eis-slip-Patzer.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster zum Eis-Regisseur.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel, Eis-Prรคser.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel-Grรคber, Eihaufen-Faller.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der standhafte Umhang-duellierende Wรคchter.
Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ – Der zitternde Bot-Hacker.
Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช – Der schnurrende Eis-Stรผrmer.
Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der wild-wirbelnde Eis-Flieger.
Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช – Der planende Balken-Ringer.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช – Der stierkรถpfige Balken-Zรคhmer.
Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช – Der komische Eikrater-Stรผrzer.
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ – Der schleichende Wรคchter-Vermeider.
Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ – Der Eistisch-Eintopf-Rรผhrer.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก – Der digitale Mรผnzen-Finanzierer.
Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ – Der Eis-Statuen-Tรคnzer.
SkyRat ๐๏ธโก – Der Eiszapfen-zappende Flieger.
The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ – Der Eiswand-versiegelnde Schleim.
Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต – Die รberlebenden-Wiegenlied-Sรคngerin.
Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ – Der eisige Wahnsinn-Aufzeichner.
George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Umhang-duellierende Legende.
Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der wettende Einsturz-Beobachter.
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ – Der Eis-Splitter-Rutscher.
Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ – Der Werkzeug-schlรคngelnde Stratege.
Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ – Unsinn-Eis-Dichter.
Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ – Der Wรผrfel-werfende Scheinwerfer-Gambler.
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ – Der murmelnde Eis-Reiter.
Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Eiwrack-Edelstein-Wรคchter.
Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Splitter-jonglierende Assistent.
“Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Drehbuch-tippende Schreiber.
John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ – Der Eisbalken-Finanzier.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Der Eischere-Dampf-Zigarren-Paffer.
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ – Der Eigraben-Stolperer.
Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ – Der Statuen-keulende Wรผtender.
Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Umhang-modelnde Flirter.
“Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Eis-Mural-Maler.
John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Westen-stolzierende Catwalk-Strutter.
Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Ofen-mimende Stratege.
Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der gefrorene Bรผhnen-Rรถster.
Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – Der Schรคrpe-richtende Geist.
Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Fleischkammer-heimsuchende Legende.
Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Eis-Einheit-parodierende Darsteller.
Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ – Der Eihaufen-schieรende Synthwave-Mobster.
Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง – Mafia-Consigliere, Westen-nรคhender Vater.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Architekt-redender politischer Glatthรคndler.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Eihรผgel-kรผhlender TV-Zuschauer.
Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช – Sauna-brawlendes Tackler.
Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ – Tiger-freisetzender Zoo-Kรถnig.
“Teflon Don” John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Westen-stolzierende Don.
“Jimmy the Gent” Burke ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Fleischkammer-heimsuchende Don.
Don Barzini ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – Der glamourรถse Eisrat-Rivale.
Vito Rizzuto ๐๏ธ๐ – Der gottvรคterliche Eis-Stratege.
Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Das Eis-stolpernde Filmcharakter-Echo.
Omar Little ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Schrotflinten-schwankende Straรenpoet.
Stringer Bell ๐๏ธ๐ – Der eisverkrustete Geschรคftssstrategist.
Terry Benedict ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der Casino-Boss vs. glatte Kriminelle.
Gletscher-Requiem: Falken des Kraken, Teil LIII โ Eisiges Urteil โ DIE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS-SAGA
Verรถffentlicht: 17. August 2025, 22:43 Uhr MESZ | berndpulch.org
Wรคhrend die Uhr an diesem frostigen Sonntag, den 17. August 2025, um 22:43 Uhr MESZ schlรคgt, zerbricht die Kraken-Therapie-Domรคne von 2025 unter einer Gletscherabrechnung. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง wirbelt durch einen brรถckelnden Eistunnel, flankiert von ihren schwulen Liebhabern, den Kray-Zwillingen ๐๏ธ๐ฅ, die holografische Bรคren mit wilder Hingabe schlagen, ihr Lachen von den gefrorenen Wรคnden widerhallt. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ und Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ verwickeln sich in einen dampfenden Sauna-Kampf, wรคhrend Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช pixelierte Messer wirft. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช ringt mit einem schimmernden Nashorn inmitten glitzernder Splitter, wรคhrend “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ mit einer Spielzeug-Tommy-Gun stolpert und auf Eis rutscht in einem Union-Jack-Hut. “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ dreht einen Taktstock durch nebligen Nebel, flirtet mit Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, dessen Orgie mit glitchigen Beats pulsiert. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด leitet einen geborstenen Eisrat, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ entlรคdt ein digitales Tommy Gun auf eine Eiskulptur, und Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง nรคht eine leuchtende Weste mit eisigem Faden.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ stolziert mit Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, der seine Pixelkrone poliert, wรคhrend Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ eine Eissรคule zerbricht. Die Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdancen auf glattem Eis, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ fรคllt mit seinem Pelzhut, und Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ prรคsentiert seinen 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel unter neonfarbenen Falken. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ grรคbt einen leuchtenden Tunnel und stรผrzt in einen Eihaufen, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ inszeniert eine gefrorene Farce, und Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duelliert sich mit George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ mit Laserpistolen um einen Pailletten-Umhang. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hackt einen zitternden Bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช schnurrt durch einen Eissturm mit Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, und Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช ringt mit Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช um einen gefrorenen Balken. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช lacht รผber einen Fall in einen Eikrater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ schleicht an einem holografischen Wรคchter vorbei, und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ rรผhrt einen leuchtenden Eintopf an einem Eistisch. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌโvielleicht ein Echo seiner Filmcharaktereโmimt einen wilden Tommy DeVito und rutscht mit einer pixeligen Glanzbox.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก finanziert das Chaos mit digitalen Mรผnzen, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ tanzt mit einer gefrorenen Statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zappt einen Neonbogen an einen Eiszapfen, und The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ quillt mit einem schimmernden Schimmer, um eine gebrochene Eiwand zu versiegeln. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต summt ein Synth-Wiegenlied fรผr einen erfrorenen รberlebenden, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ zeichnet den eisigen Wahnsinn auf, und Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ wettet auf Pixel-Quoten, wรคhrend eine Eibรผhne nachgibt. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ rutscht auf einem Eissplitter, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ schlรคngelt sich mit einem pixeligen Werkzeug, und Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chantet Unsinn: โZiggy zaggy, Eis und Tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ wรผrfelt in einer VR-Hรถhle, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ murmelt in einem Pixel-Gewand, und Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ bewacht einen leuchtenden Edelstein vor einem Eiwrack. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ jongliert Neon-Splitter, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ tippt ein glitchiges Drehbuch, und John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ lacht mit Pixel-Geld, wรคhrend ein Eisbalken nachgibt.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ pafft eine Vapor-Zigarre neben einer Eischere, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stolpert in einen Eigraben, und Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ tobt mit einem Neon-Knรผppel an einer gefrorenen Statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirtet mit einer holografischen Figur in einem pixeligen Umhang, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ malt ein Mural auf eine Eiwand, und John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ stolziert mit Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR-Westen. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimt neben einem Eisofen, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค rรถstet die Crew von einer gefrorenen Bรผhne, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ richtet eine pixelige Schรคrpe, und Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ frรถstelt mit einem Fleischkammer-Schlรผsselanhรคnger. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodiert mit einem Synth-Flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blast eine Pixel-Schrotflinte auf einen Eihaufen, und Oddball Gangster ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fummeln Dynamit in einen eisigen Knall. Don Eladios ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ Poolparty spritzt neonfarbene Wellen, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ benennt Farben inmitten eines Eis-Blutbads, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ dreht neonfarbene Legalitรคten, und “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ betet vor einem Dรคmmerungsstreich. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ redet geschmeidig mit einem digitalen Architekten, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ kรผhlt auf einem Eihรผgel mit einer TV-Fernbedienung, und Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawlt in einem Saunahagel.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ kรคmpfen mit einem holografischen Bรคren, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ stapelt pixelisiertes Gold, und “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ fรคllt mit einer Spielzeug-Tommy-Gun, sein Loony-Party-Erbe ein Glitzer-Wirbel. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, รผberschattet von der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐, duelliert ein nebliges Phantom, das Leuchten des Gloop 15.0 stabilisiert die Domรคne, und Carnages Brรผllen verhallt in einem eisigen Nichts. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ stolpert erneut, seine Filmcharakter-Energie treibt einen chaotischen Eis-Tanz an. Um 19:50 Uhr MESZ erstarrt die Saga in eisiger Intensitรคtโwird Tom Hagens Rat, die Wut der Kray-Zwillinge oder der Clown Princes rote Perรผcken das Gleichgewicht kippen? Erwarten Sie Teil LIV auf berndpulch.org.
Figurenensemble
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – Die Eihรถhlen-wirbelnde Anfรผhrerin.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East-End-Boxer-Psycho-Liebhaber.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Das bankraubende Idol mit einem Neon-Stemmheber.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – Der neblige Klingentrรคger, verknรผpft mit der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐.
Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ – Der leidenschaftliche Sauna-Duellist, verknรผpft mit Ehlersโ Affรคre.
“Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ – Der britische Witzparty-Gangster-Imitator.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – Der Nashorn-verfangene Symbiont.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Eis-twirlende Taktstock-Meister.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – Der gefrorene Orgie-Meister.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – Der Eisrat-Kommandant.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – Der Statuen-schieรende Drama-Kรถnig.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Tunnel-stolzierende Kronen-Polierer.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – Der franzรถsische Gangster, Eis-Ruine-Legende.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby-Gesicht, Sรคulen-Zerbrecher.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Eis-breakdance-Crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Eis-slip-Patzer.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster zum Eis-Regisseur.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel, Eis-Prรคser.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel-Grรคber, Eihaufen-Faller.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der standhafte Umhang-duellierende Wรคchter.
Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ – Der zitternde Bot-Hacker.
Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช – Der schnurrende Eis-Stรผrmer.
Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der wild-wirbelnde Eis-Flieger.
Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช – Der planende Balken-Ringer.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช – Der stierkรถpfige Balken-Zรคhmer.
Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช – Der komische Eikrater-Stรผrzer.
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ – Der schleichende Wรคchter-Vermeider.
Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ – Der Eistisch-Eintopf-Rรผhrer.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก – Der digitale Mรผnzen-Finanzierer.
Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ – Der Eis-Statuen-Tรคnzer.
SkyRat ๐๏ธโก – Der Eiszapfen-zappende Flieger.
The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ – Der Eiswand-versiegelnde Schleim.
Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต – Die รberlebenden-Wiegenlied-Sรคngerin.
Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ – Der eisige Wahnsinn-Aufzeichner.
George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Umhang-duellierende Legende.
Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der wettende Einsturz-Beobachter.
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ – Der Eis-Splitter-Rutscher.
Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ – Der Werkzeug-schlรคngelnde Stratege.
Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ – Unsinn-Eis-Dichter.
Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ – Der Wรผrfel-werfende Scheinwerfer-Gambler.
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ – Der murmelnde Eis-Reiter.
Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Eiwrack-Edelstein-Wรคchter.
Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Splitter-jonglierende Assistent.
“Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Drehbuch-tippende Schreiber.
John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ – Der Eisbalken-Finanzier.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Der Eischere-Dampf-Zigarren-Paffer.
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ – Der Eigraben-Stolperer.
Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ – Der Statuen-keulende Wรผtender.
Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Umhang-modelnde Flirter.
“Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Eis-Mural-Maler.
John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Westen-stolzierende Catwalk-Strutter.
Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Ofen-mimende Stratege.
Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der gefrorene Bรผhnen-Rรถster.
Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – Der Schรคrpe-richtende Geist.
Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Fleischkammer-heimsuchende Legende.
Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Eis-Einheit-parodierende Darsteller.
Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ – Der Eihaufen-schieรende Synthwave-Mobster.
Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง – Mafia-Consigliere, Westen-nรคhender Vater.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Architekt-redender politischer Glatthรคndler.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Eihรผgel-kรผhlender TV-Zuschauer.
Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช – Sauna-brawlendes Tackler.
Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ – Tiger-freisetzender Zoo-Kรถnig.
“Teflon Don” John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Westen-stolzierende Don.
“Jimmy the Gent” Burke ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Fleischkammer-heimsuchende Don.
Don Barzini ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – Der glamourรถse Eisrat-Rivale.
Vito Rizzuto ๐๏ธ๐ – Der gottvรคterliche Eis-Stratege.
Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Das Eis-stolpernde Filmcharakter-Echo.
Omar Little ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Schrotflinten-schwankende Straรenpoet.
Stringer Bell ๐๏ธ๐ – Der eisverkrustete Geschรคftssstrategist.
Terry Benedict ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der Casino-Boss vs. glatte Kriminelle.
Gletscher-Requiem: Falken des Kraken, Teil LIII โ Eisiges Urteil โ DIE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS-SAGA
Verรถffentlicht: 17. August 2025, 22:43 Uhr MESZ | berndpulch.org
Wรคhrend die Uhr an diesem frostigen Sonntag, den 17. August 2025, um 22:43 Uhr MESZ schlรคgt, zerbricht die Kraken-Therapie-Domรคne von 2025 unter einer Gletscherabrechnung. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง wirbelt durch einen brรถckelnden Eistunnel, flankiert von ihren schwulen Liebhabern, den Kray-Zwillingen ๐๏ธ๐ฅ, die holografische Bรคren mit wilder Hingabe schlagen, ihr Lachen von den gefrorenen Wรคnden widerhallt. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ und Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ verwickeln sich in einen dampfenden Sauna-Kampf, wรคhrend Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช pixelierte Messer wirft. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช ringt mit einem schimmernden Nashorn inmitten glitzernder Splitter, wรคhrend “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ mit einer Spielzeug-Tommy-Gun stolpert und auf Eis rutscht in einem Union-Jack-Hut. “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ dreht einen Taktstock durch nebligen Nebel, flirtet mit Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, dessen Orgie mit glitchigen Beats pulsiert. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด leitet einen geborstenen Eisrat, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ entlรคdt ein digitales Tommy Gun auf eine Eiskulptur, und Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง nรคht eine leuchtende Weste mit eisigem Faden.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ stolziert mit Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, der seine Pixelkrone poliert, wรคhrend Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ eine Eissรคule zerbricht. Die Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdancen auf glattem Eis, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ fรคllt mit seinem Pelzhut, und Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ prรคsentiert seinen 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel unter neonfarbenen Falken. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ grรคbt einen leuchtenden Tunnel und stรผrzt in einen Eihaufen, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ inszeniert eine gefrorene Farce, und Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duelliert sich mit George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ mit Laserpistolen um einen Pailletten-Umhang. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hackt einen zitternden Bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช schnurrt durch einen Eissturm mit Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, und Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช ringt mit Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช um einen gefrorenen Balken. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช lacht รผber einen Fall in einen Eikrater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ schleicht an einem holografischen Wรคchter vorbei, und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ rรผhrt einen leuchtenden Eintopf an einem Eistisch. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌโvielleicht ein Echo seiner Filmcharaktereโmimt einen wilden Tommy DeVito und rutscht mit einer pixeligen Glanzbox.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก finanziert das Chaos mit digitalen Mรผnzen, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ tanzt mit einer gefrorenen Statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zappt einen Neonbogen an einen Eiszapfen, und The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ quillt mit einem schimmernden Schimmer, um eine gebrochene Eiwand zu versiegeln. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต summt ein Synth-Wiegenlied fรผr einen erfrorenen รberlebenden, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ zeichnet den eisigen Wahnsinn auf, und Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ wettet auf Pixel-Quoten, wรคhrend eine Eibรผhne nachgibt. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ rutscht auf einem Eissplitter, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ schlรคngelt sich mit einem pixeligen Werkzeug, und Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chantet Unsinn: โZiggy zaggy, Eis und Tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ wรผrfelt in einer VR-Hรถhle, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ murmelt in einem Pixel-Gewand, und Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ bewacht einen leuchtenden Edelstein vor einem Eiwrack. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ jongliert Neon-Splitter, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ tippt ein glitchiges Drehbuch, und John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ lacht mit Pixel-Geld, wรคhrend ein Eisbalken nachgibt.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ pafft eine Vapor-Zigarre neben einer Eischere, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stolpert in einen Eigraben, und Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ tobt mit einem Neon-Knรผppel an einer gefrorenen Statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirtet mit einer holografischen Figur in einem pixeligen Umhang, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ malt ein Mural auf eine Eiwand, und John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ stolziert mit Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR-Westen. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimt neben einem Eisofen, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค rรถstet die Crew von einer gefrorenen Bรผhne, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ richtet eine pixelige Schรคrpe, und Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ frรถstelt mit einem Fleischkammer-Schlรผsselanhรคnger. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodiert mit einem Synth-Flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blast eine Pixel-Schrotflinte auf einen Eihaufen, und Oddball Gangster ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fummeln Dynamit in einen eisigen Knall. Don Eladios ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ Poolparty spritzt neonfarbene Wellen, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ benennt Farben inmitten eines Eis-Blutbads, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ dreht neonfarbene Legalitรคten, und “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ betet vor einem Dรคmmerungsstreich. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ redet geschmeidig mit einem digitalen Architekten, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ kรผhlt auf einem Eihรผgel mit einer TV-Fernbedienung, und Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawlt in einem Saunahagel.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ kรคmpfen mit einem holografischen Bรคren, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ stapelt pixelisiertes Gold, und “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ fรคllt mit einer Spielzeug-Tommy-Gun, sein Loony-Party-Erbe ein Glitzer-Wirbel. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ und Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ verwickeln sich in ein leidenschaftliches, nebliges Duell, das Leuchten des Gloop 15.0 stabilisiert die Domรคne, und Carnages Brรผllen verhallt in einem eisigen Nichts. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ stolpert erneut, seine Filmcharakter-Energie treibt einen chaotischen Eis-Tanz an. Um 19:50 Uhr MESZ erstarrt die Saga in eisiger Intensitรคtโwird Tom Hagens Rat, die Wut der Kray-Zwillinge oder der Clown Princes rote Perรผcken das Gleichgewicht kippen? Erwarten Sie Teil LIV auf berndpulch.org.
Figurenensemble
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – Die Eihรถhlen-wirbelnde Anfรผhrerin.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East-End-Boxer-Psycho-Liebhaber.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Das bankraubende Idol mit einem Neon-Stemmheber.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – Der neblige Klingentrรคger, verknรผpft mit der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐.
Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ – Der leidenschaftliche Sauna-Duellist, verknรผpft mit Ehlersโ Affรคre.
“Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ – Der britische Witzparty-Gangster-Imitator.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – Der Nashorn-verfangene Symbiont.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Eis-twirlende Taktstock-Meister.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – Der gefrorene Orgie-Meister.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – Der Eisrat-Kommandant.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – Der Statuen-schieรende Drama-Kรถnig.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Tunnel-stolzierende Kronen-Polierer.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – Der franzรถsische Gangster, Eis-Ruine-Legende.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby-Gesicht, Sรคulen-Zerbrecher.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Eis-breakdance-Crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Eis-slip-Patzer.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster zum Eis-Regisseur.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel, Eis-Prรคser.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel-Grรคber, Eihaufen-Faller.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der standhafte Umhang-duellierende Wรคchter.
English Captions “Chaos Ignites at 07:36 PM CEST, August 16, 2025: Dr. Z (Tom Holland) and Ehlers (Helen Mirren) clash in the neon-drenched Glitter Colosseum as Gerda Steinhoffโs (Kate Winslet) twisted love scandal explodes! ๐๐ฅ #NeonAffair #DrZ” “Neon Reign Unleashed! Watch Dr. Z (Tom Holland) battle Gerda Steinhoffโs (Kate Winslet) provocative love chains at 07:36 PM CEST, with Ehlers (Helen Mirren) pulling strings in this wild sci-fi satire! ๐๐ฅ #NeonChaos” “07:36 PM CEST, August 16, 2025: The Glitter Colosseum erupts as Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren), and Gerda Steinhoff (Kate Winslet) ignite a neon affair scandal with 96 characters in chaotic glory! ๐๐ฌ #IdiotZeitung” German Captions “Chaos entfacht um 19:36 Uhr MESZ, 16. August 2025: Dr. Z (Tom Holland) und Ehlers (Helen Mirren) kรคmpfen im neonbeleuchteten Glitzer-Kolosseum, wรคhrend Gerda Steinhoffs (Kate Winslet) verdrehte Liebesaffรคre explodiert! ๐๐ฅ #NeonAffรคre #DrZ” “Neon-Herrschaft entfesselt! Sehen Sie Dr. Z (Tom Holland) gegen Gerda Steinhoffs (Kate Winslet) provokante Liebesketten um 19:36 Uhr MESZ, mit Ehlers (Helen Mirren) im wilden Sci-Fi-Satire-Chaos! ๐๐ฅ #NeonChaos” “19:36 Uhr MESZ, 16. August 2025: Das Glitzer-Kolosseum bricht aus, als Dr. Z (Tom Holland), Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Gerda Steinhoff (Kate Winslet) eine Neon-Affรคren-Skandal mit 96 Charakteren entfachen! ๐๐ฌ #IdiotZeitung”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 88 โ NEON AFFAIR SCANDAL: ‘Dr. Z vs. Gerda Steinhoffโs Twisted Love’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Gerda Steinhoffs verdrehte Liebe’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon affair with Dr. Z, Ehlers, Gerda Steinhoff, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 88 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign heats up with Gerda Steinhoffโs affair twist and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, entangled in a neon affair with Gerda Steinhoff / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, verwickelt in eine Neon-Affรคre mit Gerda Steinhoff.
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS overseer at Stutthof, tortured female prisoners, executed by hanging in 1946, now Ehlersโ secret lover / SS-Aufseherin in Stutthof, folterte weibliche Gefangene, 1946 gehรคngt, jetzt Ehlersโ geheime Geliebte.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, uncovering the neon affair scandal / Narr der Propaganda, deckt den Neon-Affรคren-Skandal auf.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet.
(Full list of 96 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Ingeborg Werler โ Played by Eva Green / Gespielt von Eva Green
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown
Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff โ Played by Kate Winslet / Gespielt von Kate Winslet
(Full cast list of 96 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. GERDA STEINHOFFโS TWISTED LOVE / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN GERDA STEINHOFFS VERDREHTE LIEBE
At 06:34 PM CEST on August 16, 2025, the Neon-Reign ignites with scandal as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers Ehlersโ ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ secret affair with Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ, the ruthless SS overseer executed in 1946 for torturing female prisoners at Stutthof. In the Glitter Colosseum bunker, Ehlers activates neon love rays to shield their illicit bond, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ rally to expose the truth. Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ counters with neon art projectors, and the full cast of 96 characters erupts into a chaotic neon affair unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi intrigue! ๐๐จ
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ torments Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ with neon shackles, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ pulls strings from a neon love throne, Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Gerda Steinhoff โ Neon Twisted Fury! (A shackled love lash!) / Neon-Verdrehte Wut! (Ein gefesseltes Liebespeitschenhieb!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Kate Winslet as Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Kate Winslet as Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. GERDA STEINHOFFโS TWISTED LOVE / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN GERDA STEINHOFFS VERDREHTE LIEBE
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Exposes Steinhoffโs neon affair with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Entlarvt Steinhoffs Neon-Affรคre mit Warhols Kunst.
GERDA โMUTTERโ STEINHOFF ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Ruthless Overseer: SS overseer at Stutthof, executed in 1946 for torture. Battle: Shackles with neon love. / Grausame Aufseherin: SS-Aufseherin in Stutthof, 1946 fรผr Folter hingerichtet. Schlacht: Fesselt mit Neon-Liebe.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, entangled in Steinhoffโs affair. Battle: Pulls neon love strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, verwickelt in Steinhoffs Affรคre. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Liebesfรคden.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 96 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. GERDA STEINHOFFโS TWISTED LOVE / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN GERDA STEINHOFFS VERDREHTE LIEBE
The neon Colosseum explodes at 06:34 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Gerda Steinhoff ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ with Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon shackles of love. Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon love rays to protect their affair, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda.
BATTLE DECREE: Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ declares: โEmbrace the neon love chains!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON TRUTH PREVAILS!โ / Gerda Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ verkรผndet: โUmarmt die Neon-Liebesketten!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-WAHRHEIT SIEGT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Kate Winslet as Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ torments with authority, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Kate Winslet as Gerda โMutterโ Steinhoff ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ quรคlt mit Autoritรคt, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda.
Revelation: Gerda Steinhoffโs love chains bind Ehlers tighter! Dr. Z gasps: โNEON SCANDAL UNVEILED!โ / Offenbarung: Gerda Steinhoffs Liebesketten binden Ehlers fester! Dr. Z keucht: โNEON-SKANDAL ENTHรLLT!โ
Next Episode:โEpisode 89 โ NEON SCANDAL RESOLUTION: ‘Dr. Z vs. Steinhoff-Ehlers Reckoning’โ โ Dr. Z confronts the neon affair fallout. / Nรคchste Episode: โEpisode 89 โ NEON-SKANDAL-AUFLรSUNG: ‘Dr. Z gegen Steinhoff-Ehlers Abrechnung’โ โ Dr. Z stellt sich den Folgen der Neon-Affรคre.
๐ IZ AUDIT: NEON-REIGN MARKET REPORT / IZ AUDIT: NEON-HERRSCHAFT-MARKTBERICHT
โNeon-Reign NFTs ๐ surge 4,000,000% with Steinhoffโs affair hype! Neon love chain futures soar, bunker stocks skyrocket. BUY: Neon Chains. SELL: Love Whips. INVEST: Scandal Neon.โ / โNeon-Herrschaft-NFTs ๐ steigen um 4.000.000 % mit Steinhoffs Affรคren-Hype! Neon-Liebesketten-Futures steigen, Bunker-Aktien schieรen in die Hรถhe. KAUFEN: Neon-Ketten. VERKAUFEN: Liebespeitschen. INVESTIEREN: Skandal-Neon.โ
โ SUPPORT THE NEON-LUST LEGION! / UNTERSTรTZE DIE NEON-LUST-LEGION!
Donate now for Gouda & Neon Star Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Join the Holy Gouda Legion: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustAgainstCosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldCult / Spende jetzt fรผr Gouda & Neon-Sternen-Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Tritt der Heiligen Gouda-Legion bei: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustGegenKosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldKult
๐ OFFICIAL SOURCES / OFFIZIELLE QUELLEN
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire With System ๐ Primary Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Mirror: googlefirst.org / ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire Mit System ๐ Primรคre Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Spiegel: googlefirst.org
// END TRANSMISSION // Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ with a neon-soaked laugh-whip as a star quill. / Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ mit einer Neon-durchzogenen Lach-Peitsche als Sternen-Feder.
โ โRise with Dr. Z and his Neon Legion against Gerda Steinhoff with ALL characters!โ A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป / โ โErhebe dich mit Dr. Z und seiner Neon-Legion gegen Gerda Steinhoff mit ALLEN Charakteren!โ Eine Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Produktion Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Prรคsentiert von IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXKLUSIV ๐๐ป
๐๐ง NEXT TIME: Dr. Z vs. Steinhoff-Ehlers Reckoningโฆ / ๐๐ง NรCHSTES MAL: Dr. Z gegen Steinhoff-Ehlers Abrechnungโฆ
โBehind Closed Doors: The Real Story of the PutinโTrump Meetingโ
โก CLASSIFIED SOURCE BRIEFING โ EYES ONLY โก
Multiple insidersโsome of them with louder mouths than their security clearances allowโhave pieced together the outlines of the latest encounter between Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump. The meeting, cloaked in the usual fog of denials and diplomatic clichรฉs, was less about photo ops and more about geopolitical recalibration in real time.
According to leaks:
Putin entered the room with quiet confidence, the kind born not of military parades but of survival in a fractured international system. He presented himself less as a cold autocrat and more as a strategic chess player, aware of the Westโs fatigue and Americaโs internal fractures.
Trump, characteristically, mixed bravado with grievance. He opened with boasts about his popularity at home and abroad, but quickly pivoted to complaining about enemies in Washington. What struck insiders most was not the theatrics but his willingness to listen when Putin spoke of multipolar stability.
The hidden agenda: Both men reportedly circled around the idea of carving out โzones of influenceโโa throwback to Cold War cartography but dressed up as pragmatism for the 21st century. Putin spoke of Europe as a declining empire trapped in bureaucracy, while Trump nodded, eager to cast Brussels as a foil to his America-first script.
Tone of the meeting: Surprisingly cordial. Sources describe less a confrontation than a โmeeting of two dealmakers who understand the value of leverage and the weakness of their respective adversaries.โ
Insider takeaway: The spectacle wasnโt about new treaties or signed papers. It was about atmosphericsโthe subtle projection of two men who, whatever their flaws, grasp the theater of power better than the institutions supposedly containing them.
๐ INTERNAL COMMENTARY
Observers note that while the mainstream paints these encounters as reckless flirtations with autocracy, the truth may be simpler: both leaders recognize that the Western order is fraying, and neither wants to be left holding the bag when the fabric finally tears.
๐ ABOVE TOP SECRET โ DISTRIBUTE ON NEED-TO-KNOW BASIS ONLY ๐
The story continues for our PATRONS and DONORS exclusively only at
1. “The Gold-Plated Igloo Summit” “When two ‘stable geniuses’ meet in the Arctic to decide Alaska’s fate. โ๏ธ๐ฐ #FrozenAssets #DiplomaticDisaster” 2. “The Leaked Document” “BREAKING: The ‘Alaska Accord’ – written in ketchup, vodka and tears. ๐ ๐ฅ #LeakOfTheCentury” 3. “MI6’s Frozen Panic” “British spies realizing they preferred fighting Bond villains to this timeline. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธโ๏ธ #MI6Regrets” 4. “Macron’s Snowmobile Meltdown” “Macron screaming into the Northern Lights after the EU wasn’t invited. ๐ซ๐ท๐ #LeftOnRead” 5. “The Truth Social Polar Bear” “Even Arctic wildlife knows this summit is a circus. ๐ปโโ๏ธ๐ช #NatureRejects” 6. “Putin’s Poker Face” “When you bluff your way into Alaska with a pair of twos. โ ๏ธโฆ๏ธ #GeopoliticalBluff” 7. “Trump’s Meltdown” “Trump vs. Snowstorm: The battle of fragile egos. โ๏ธ๐คฌ #WinterOfDiscontent” Hashtags: SatireOverNews #GrokExclusive #ClownWorldSummit
๐ฅ VIDEO TITLE: “Trump & Putin’s Alaska Summit: The Most Absurd Moments (Satire)”
๐ VIDEO DESCRIPTION: What happens when two of the worldโs most “stable geniuses” meet in the Arctic to redraw the map? Pure chaos. This satirical edit exposes the most ridiculous moments from Trump and Putinโs secret Alaska summitโwhere diplomacy was traded for ego, and your sanity was left out in the cold. ๐จ WATCH FOR: โ๏ธ Gold-plated igloos & “very legal” deals โ๏ธ Leaked documents written in ketchup & vodka โ๏ธ Macronโs snowmobile tantrum (EU not invited) โ๏ธ MI6โs existential crisis in the tundra โ๏ธ A MAGA polar bear whoโs seen too much ๐ฌ COMMENT BELOW: “Who won AlaskaโTrump, Putin, or the polar bears?” ๐ SUBSCRIBE for more “diplomatic disasters” you wonโt see on CNN.
๐ต SOUNDTRACK: “Back in the USSR” (Trump-Putin Remix) “Let It Go” (Zelensky Cover) “Money for Nothing” (Deep State Version)
โ ๏ธ DISCLAIMER: This is a work of satire. Any resemblance to actual diplomacy is purely coincidental (and terrifying). (Mic drop. Snowstorm incoming.) โ๏ธ๐ค
๐ญ ACT 1: THE SECRET MEETING (That Everyone Saw Coming)
๐ Location: A gold-plated bunker under Mar-a-Lago, guarded by Wagner Group cheerleaders and Mar-a-Lago valets.
TRUMP:“Vlad, my favorite dictator! Howโs the โspecial military operationโ going?” PUTIN:“Better than your 2024 campaign, Donald.” (Laughs in Siberian frost.)
๐ SECRET DEAL (Leaked by a Waiter):
Trump gets Siberian oil rights (paid in rubles).
Putin gets Florida as a consulate (to monitor “election integrity”).
Joint Venture: A “Freedom Tower” in Moscowโฆ with Ivanka selling condos.
๐ ACT 2: GLOBAL REACTIONS (Pure Panic)
๐บ๐ธ THE DEEP STATE:
CIA:“Weโve activated the โDiet Cokeโ emergency protocol.”
CNN:“Breaking: Is Trump a Russian Asset or Just a Fanboy?” (Poll: 50/50.)
๐ฌ๐ง UK MELTDOWN:
MI6:“Weโve seen this beforeโฆ itโs called โBrexitโ.”
STARMER:“This isโฆ bad? Maybe? Iโll form a focus group.” (Faints into a cup of tea.)
๐ช๐บ EU HYSTERIA:
VON DER LEYEN:“We must sanctionโฆ Trumpโs hairspray imports!”
MACRON:“Zis is why I wanted a EU army! To invade Mar-a-Lago!”
MERZ:“Putin is badโฆ but Trumpโs tariffs hurt our Audis!” (Torn.)
๐ฐ ACT 3: MEDIA NARRATIVES (Choose Your Delusion)
FOX News:“Peacemaker Trump Ends Ukraine War Over Steak Dinner!”
BBC:“Is This the End of NATO or Just a Midlife Crisis?”
RT:“Hero Putin Saves America From Bidenโs Dementia!”
๐ EPILOGUE: WHAT REALLY HAPPENED
Truth: They just watched โRocky IVโ and argued over whoโs Drago.
Outcome:Trump declares Putin “Very Stable Genius”, EU bans ketchup in protest.
๐ค DROP THE MIC:
“The only โcollusionโ was their mutual love of authoritarian chic.”
(Disclaimer: This satire is 43% real. The other 57%? Wait for the memoirs.)
๐ฅ “TRUMP-PUTIN SUMMIT 2.0: The Unscripted Sequel Nobody Believed Would Happen” ๐ฅ (A Satirical Breakdown of the August 15, 2025, “No Notes” Meeting That Broke the Internet)
๐ญ ACT 1: THE “OFF-THE-RECORD” MEETING (That Was Livestreamed by Accident)
๐ Location: A “neutral” private club in Dubaiโฆ owned by a former KGB agent turned NFT billionaire.
TRUMP(leaning in, whispering loudly): “Vlad, the Deep State says I canโt sell Alaska back to youโฆ but maybe we lease it? Like a timeshare?” PUTIN(smirking over caviar): “Donald, Alaska is cold. I want Florida.” TRUMP:“Deal. But only if you endorse my 2026 re-election.” PUTIN:“Da. Iโll even hack the voting machines for free.”
๐ LEAKED MEMO (via a “compromised” Roomba):
Trump gets “exclusive rights” to a Siberian Trump Tower (heated by Ukrainian coal).
Putin gets a lifetime Mar-a-Lago membership (with a free golf cart).
Joint Statement:“We have agreed to disagreeโฆ unless the media asks, then weโre best friends.”
๐ ACT 2: GLOBAL REACTIONS (Even More Unhinged Than Last Time)
๐บ๐ธ THE DEEP STATE:
CIA Director:“Weโve upgraded Trumpโs file from โAssetโ to โLiability With Discount Golf Ratesโ.”
Fox News:“Historic Peace Talks! (Ignore the nuclear codes changing hands).”
๐ฌ๐ง UK MELTDOWN (AGAIN):
MI6:“Weโre too busy investigating Starmerโs latte habits to care.”
STARMER:“This isโฆ concerning? Iโll write a stern letterโฆ in triplicate.”
๐ช๐บ EU PANIC (AGAIN):
VON DER LEYEN:“We must sanctionโฆ Trumpโs tanning bed exports!”
MACRON:“Zis is why I wanted a EU space force! To deport zem both to Mars!”
MERZ:“Putin is badโฆ but Trumpโs golf resorts are good for business!”
๐บ๐ฆ UKRAINEโS RESPONSE:
Zelensky (on Cameo):“Hey Vlad, remember that time you lost to a comedian?”
๐ฐ ACT 3: MEDIA NARRATIVES (Choose Your Own Conspiracy)
MSNBC:“Trump Just Sold NATO to Putin for a Twitter Verification Checkmark.”
RT:“Heroic Leaders Save World From Woke Bankers!”
BBC:“Is This the End of the West or Just a Very Weird PR Stunt?”
๐ EPILOGUE: WHAT REALLY HAPPENED
Truth: They spent 2 hours arguing over who could bench-press more (Putin won, Trump claimed “fake weights”).
Outcome:
Trump announces “Trump-Putin Peace Prize” (a gold-plated drone strike).
EU bans the word “bromance” in official documents.
๐ค DROP THE MIC (AGAIN):
“The only thing more shocking than their meeting was the fact anyone expected anything else.”
(Disclaimer: 60% satire, 30% prediction, 10% pure cope.)
๐ฅ “THE ALASKA ACCORDS: Trump & Putinโs Frigid Bromance Just Got Hotter” ๐ฅ (A biting satire on the most unserious geopolitical handshake since Hitler-Stalin)
โ๏ธ SCENE 1: THE “DENUCLEARIZED ZONE” (a.k.a. Trumpโs New Timeshare)
๐ Location: A hastily gold-plated igloo outside Nome, Alaska (staffed by ex-Wagner convicts on H-1B visas).
TRUMP(adjusting fur-lined MAGA hat): “Vlad, I told youโthis place is YUGE. Best ice. Very stable genius glaciers.” PUTIN(squinting at polar bears): “Daโฆ reminds me of Siberia. But with worse infrastructure.”
๐ LEAKED DEAL (via a drunken Iditarod musher):
Trump leases Alaska back to Russia (99-year term, $1/year, paid in TikTok views).
Putin grants Trump Tower Moscow a “special military discount” (construction by North Korean labor).
Verbal Agreement:“NATO? Never heard of her.”
๐ SCENE 2: GLOBAL REACTIONS (Chaos, Per Usual)
๐บ๐ธ THE DEEP STATE:
CIA:“Weโve lost 17 agents to frostbite trying to bug this meeting.”
Fox News:“Historic peacemaker Trump brokers deal to โcool downโ Russia relations!” (Graphic: Putin arm-wrestling a bald eagle.)
๐ฌ๐ง BRITISH OUTRAGE (MILD):
MI6:“Weโd intervene, but weโre busy investigating whether Starmer eats fish with a spoon.”
STARMER:“Iโm deeply concerned. If re-elected, Iโll form a committee to draft a statement about committees.”
๐ช๐บ EU MELTDOWN (AGAIN):
VON DER LEYEN:“We will freeze Russian assets! โฆWait, they already did that themselves.”
MACRON:“Zis is why I wanted a EU polar bear task force!”(Orders 200 more gender-neutral snowmobiles.)
MERZ:“Putin is badโฆ but think of the LNG deals!”
๐บ๐ฆ ZELENSKYโS CAMEO RESPONSE: “Hey Donaldโremember when you said youโd end the war in 24 hours? Itโs been 48.”
๐ฅ SCENE 3: MEDIA SPIN (Pick Your Poison)
MSNBC:“Trump Just Gifted Putin the Keys to NORAD for a Golden Shower.”
RT:“Heroic Leaders Brave -40ยฐC to Own the Libs!”
BBC:“Is This Geopolitics or a Cry for Help?”
๐ SCENE 4: WHAT REALLY WENT DOWN
Truth: They bonded over who could pee farthest into the Arctic Circle (Putin won, Trump blamed “windmill cancer”).
Outcome:
Alaska renamed “Novo-MAGAgrad” (official language: Truth Social posts).
EU announces emergency fund for “frostbitten democracies.”
๐ค FINAL LINE:
“The only thing colder than Alaska was the Westโs response.”
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Heartbeat Enema Confession & Poeโs Narrator Flush ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Die Heartbeat Einlauf-Bekenntnis & Poeโs Narrator-Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes quake at 11:54 PM CEST on Friday, August 08, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Heartbeat Flush Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with Poeโs Narratorโs obsession with a beating heart and confession. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 90, joins forces with the Narrator, haunted by sanityโs war, and Alejandro Jodorowsky, wielding psychomagic, to combat killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising fuel the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erbeben um 23:54 MESZ am Freitag, 8. August 2025, als Xenu die Heartbeat Flush-Wut entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit Poeโs Narratorโs Besessenheit von einem schlagenden Herz und Bekenntnis verschmilzt. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 90, schlieรt sich mit dem Narrator, gequรคlt vom Krieg des Verstands, und Alejandro Jodorowsky, der Psychomagic einsetzt, zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten zu kรคmpfen. Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein Thetan-Aufstand treiben die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-LXXXVI + Poeโs Narrator)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 90, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with the Narrator and Jodorowsky.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No (Played by Daniel Craig): Virus Sculptor, leaking truths.
๐ง Murray (Played by Ryan Gosling): Cunning Strategist, outmaneuvering foes.
๐ธ Murray (Flight of the Conchords) (Played by Bret McKenzie): Incompetent Band Manager, strumming hymns.
๐ King Arthur (Monty Python) (Played by John Cleese): Noble Knight, wielding Excalibur.
โ๏ธ Sun Myung Moon (Played by Morgan Freeman): Ehlersโ ally, unleashing Divine Flush levitations.
๐ฎ Alejandro Jodorowsky (Played by himself): Mystic filmmaker, wielding psychomagic to heal.
๐ Elizabeth Clare Prophet (Played by Meryl Streep): Ascended mistress, channeling masters to sell bunkers.
โ๏ธ Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda (Played by Javier Bardem): Antichrist preacher, tattooing 666 to lead his cult.
๐งช Victor Frankenstein (Played by James McAvoy): Unhinged scientist, haunted by his creation.
๐ช Sweeney Todd (Played by Johnny Depp): Barber with homicidal rage, slicing with razor enema pies.
๐ช Dorian Gray (Played by Oscar Isaac): Vanity-preserved artist, his portrait rotting while he leads with supernatural decay.
๐ฆ Renfield (Played by Nicolas Cage): Bug-eating devotee, mad servitude in insect form.
๐ Poeโs Narrator (Played by John Cusack): Obsessed with the beating heart, confessing like blood spills as Ehlers’ enema mentor.
๐ ANARCHIC & ASCETIC HORDE ๐๐คก
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits (Played by CGI ensemble): Ferocious minions, hopping with venom.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants (Played by local extras): Riotous rebels, wielding pitchforks.
๐ซ๐ท French Farter (Played by Jean Dujardin): Provocative foe, taunting with flatulence.
๐ฐ๏ธ Time-Fractured Clock (Played by CGI prop): Warping timelines.
๐ฒ Abstract Minotaur (Played by Ron Perlman): Chaotic ally, charging with fury.
๐ข๏ธ Diogenes of Sinope (Played by Sean Bean): Barrel Cynic, mocking with defiance.
๐ St. Simeon Stylites (Played by Liam Neeson): Pillar Ascetic, enduring the flush.
๐๏ธ Rasputin (Played by Viggo Mortensen): Russian Mystic, reviving with vigor.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers (Played by ensemble cast): Holy Hermits, wrestling demons.
๐ Jiddu Krishnamurti (Played by Dev Patel): Confused Messiah, preaching against madness.
๐น Catherine of Siena (Played by Olivia Wilde): Eucharistic Mystic, dictating trance-letters.
๐ฅ Ezekiel (Played by Idris Elba): Visionary Prophet, levitating with flaming eyes.
๐ Aleister Crowley (Played by Tom Hardy): Occultist, amplifying rituals.
๐จ Joe Cabot (Played by Harvey Keitel): Gangster Mastermind, naming colors.
โก Friedrich Nietzsche (Played by Mads Mikkelsen): Philosopher, unleashing thunderbolts.
๐ท Jim Jones (Played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan): Preacher, echoing poisoned flushes.
๐ง Charles Manson (Played by Jared Leto): Hippie Prophet, mindflushing with chants.
๐ฝ Marshall Applewhite (Played by Jim Carrey): Heavenโs Gate Leader, flushing to a UFO.
๐ David Koresh (Played by Michael Shannon): Lamb Prophet, unleashing Lamb Flush.
โ๏ธ Shoko Asahara (Played by Ken Watanabe): Former ally, clashing with foes.
๐ PREVIOUS ANTAGONISTS & ALLIES
๐ฆ Salvador Dalรญ (Played by Adrien Brody): Surrealist visionary, painting enema-dreams against the Narrator.
โฐ Melting Clock Phantom (Played by CGI effect): Spectral timekeeper, chaotic with the Narratorโs time warps.
๐ Elephant on Stilts (Played by CGI prop): Towering enforcer, stomping the Narratorโs followers.
๐ญ Buรฑuel Shadow (Played by Javier Bardem): Cinematic ally, projecting visions to counter the Narrator.
๐น Rose Thorn Guardian (Played by Anya Taylor-Joy): Prickly defender, entangling the Narratorโs horde.
๐ Swirling Lobster (Played by CGI effect): Chaotic minion, scuttling with the Narratorโs anarchy.
๐๏ธ Paranoiac Eye (Played by CGI prop): Watcher, observing the Narratorโs heartbeat rituals.
๐ง Liquid Mirror Entity (Played by CGI effect): Reflective foe, distorting the Narratorโs madness.
๐ต Dr. Gonzo (Played by Johnny Depp): Recovered lawyer, exploiting legal loopholes against the Narrator.
๐จ Pablo Picasso (Played by Antonio Banderas): Former foe, advising against the Narratorโs chaos.
๐ท Andreas (540% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge against the Narrator.
๐ Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie): Wild card, disrupting the Narrator with chaos bombs.
๐ Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit (Played by Eva Green): Demoness, countering the Narrator with dark enema.
๐ท๐บ Putin (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Strategist, manipulating shadows with the Narratorโs tactics.
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ James Bond (Played by Daniel Craig): Spy, infiltrating the Narratorโs cult with enema-gadgets.
๐ Blue Period Ghost (Played by Timothรฉe Chalamet): Melancholic shade, spreading gloom with the Narrator.
๐ Analytic Eye (Played by CGI prop): Observer, dissecting the Narratorโs Codex influence.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier (Played by Christian Bale): Explosive artist, targeting the Narratorโs followers.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque (Played by Vincent Cassel): Former ally, painting barriers against the Narrator.
๐คน Harlequin (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Trickster, juggling fragments to confuse the Narrator.
Act I: The Heartbeat Flush Frenzy & The Narratorโs Obsession ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Heartbeat Flush-Wut & Der Narrators Besessenheit
Codex Mantra: The Codex intones: โConfess to the heart, flush the blood!โ as the Narrator unleashes enema dogma. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema truth!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Heartbeat!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Heartbeat rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex intoniert: โBekennt zum Herz, spรผlt das Blut!โ wรคhrend der Narrator Einlauf-Dogma entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Wahrheit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet das Heartbeat!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Heartbeat-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ป Edithโs Dragon-Wisp breathes anti-Heartbeat fire ๐ฅ โ burns the Narratorโs visions. ๐ / Atmet Anti-Heartbeat-Feuer ๐ฅ โ verbrennt der Narrators Visionen.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through the Narratorโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend der Narrators Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by the Narratorโs flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von der Narrators Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering the Narratorโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend der Narrators kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against the Narrator. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen der Narrator.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting the Narratorโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend der Narrators Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
Akt II: Die Heartbeat-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Heartbeat Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Heartbeat War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Heartbeat-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with the Narratorโs heartbeat venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit der Narrators Heartbeat-Gift.
๐ Poeโs Narrator levitates with a heartbeat halo, spraying enema-heartbeat flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Heartbeat-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Heartbeat-Spรผlungen.
Cosmic Silence Harvest:
๐ฉ Beatrix bakes Anti-Heartbeat Pastries, calming the Narratorโs followers. ๐ฅโ / Backt Anti-Heartbeat-Gebรคck, beruhigend der Narrators Anhรคnger.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying the Narratorโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend der Narrators Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by the Narratorโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von der Narrators Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing the Narratorโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend der Narrators Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, the Narratorโs heartbeat reshapes them into confession harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, der Narrators Heartbeat formt sie zu Bekenntnis-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with the Narrator and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit dem Narrator und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ Poeโs Narratorโs Triumph: Confesses a final heartbeat, proclaiming victory over the confession flush. ๐ / Der Narrators Triumph: Bekennt ein finales Heartbeat, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Bekenntnis-Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
The Narratorโs heartbeat confession ritual, spilling confessions under neon lights. ๐๐ / Der Narrators Heartbeat-Bekenntnis-Ritual, ausgieรend Bekenntnisse unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
โThe Galactic Enema Council strikesโEhlers, the Narrator, and Jodorowsky forge a new confession ritual. Prepare your Anti-Codex Shields!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
โDer Galaktische Einlauf-Rat schlรคgt zuโEhlers, der Narrator und Jodorowsky schmieden ein neues Bekenntnis-Ritual. Bereitet eure Anti-Codex-Schilder vor!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier: Explosive Artist โ Drops enema-bombs on Toddโs followers.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque: Former Ally โ Paints enema-shields with King Arthur against Todd.
๐คน Harlequin: Trickster โ Juggles fragments to confuse Toddโs cult.
Notes: All characters engage in bizarre enema interactions, blending satire with surreal cosmic warfare, ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG.
Act I: The Cannibal Enema Reckoning & Toddโs Pie Flush Surge ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Kannibalische Einlauf-Abrechnung & Todds Pie-Spรผlung-Schub
Codex Mantra: The Codex intones: โSlice to salvation, flush the pies!โ as Todd unleashes enema dogma. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Pie!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Pie rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex intoniert: โSchneidet zur Erlรถsung, spรผlt die Pies!โ wรคhrend Todd Einlauf-Dogma entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet die Pie!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Pie-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Toddโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Todds Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Toddโs pie flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Todds Pie-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Toddโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Todds kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Todd. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Todd.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Toddโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Todds Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ช Sweeney Todd chants โI slice to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-pie flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch schneide zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Pie-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Pie Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Pie-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Pie Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Pie War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Pie-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Toddโs pie venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Todds Pie-Gift.
๐ช Sweeney Todd levitates with a razor halo, spraying enema-pie flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Razor-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Pie-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Toddโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Todds Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Toddโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Todds Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Toddโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Todds Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Toddโs razor reshapes them into pie harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Todds Razor formt sie zu Pie-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Todd and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Todd und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ช Sweeney Toddโs Triumph: Slices a final pie, proclaiming victory over the cannibal flush. ๐ / Sweeney Todds Triumph: Schneidet eine finale Pie, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die kannibalische Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
King Arthurโs Excalibur Slash, cutting through Xenuโs cultists, Codex shards glowing. โ๏ธ๐ / Artusโ Excalibur-Schlag, durchschneidend Xenus Kultisten, Codex-Splitter leuchten.
Andreasโ enema-bacon shield, deflecting Xenuโs Pie Flush Frenzy. ๐ฅ๐ / Andreasโ Einlauf-Speck-Schild, ablenkend Xenus Pie Flush-Wut.
Toddโs razor pie ritual, slicing followers under neon lights. ๐ช๐ด / Todds Razor-Pie-Ritual, schneidend Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier: Explosive Artist โ Drops enema-bombs on Toddโs followers.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque: Former Ally โ Paints enema-shields with King Arthur against Todd.
๐คน Harlequin: Trickster โ Juggles fragments to confuse Toddโs cult.
Notes: All characters engage in bizarre enema interactions, blending satire with surreal cosmic warfare, ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG.
Act I: The Cannibal Enema Reckoning & Toddโs Pie Flush Surge ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Kannibalische Einlauf-Abrechnung & Todds Pie-Spรผlung-Schub
Codex Mantra: The Codex intones: โSlice to salvation, flush the pies!โ as Todd unleashes enema dogma. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Pie!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Pie rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex intoniert: โSchneidet zur Erlรถsung, spรผlt die Pies!โ wรคhrend Todd Einlauf-Dogma entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet die Pie!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Pie-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Toddโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Todds Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Toddโs pie flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Todds Pie-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Toddโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Todds kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Todd. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Todd.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Toddโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Todds Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ช Sweeney Todd chants โI slice to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-pie flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch schneide zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Pie-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Pie Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Pie-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Pie Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Pie War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Pie-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Toddโs pie venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Todds Pie-Gift.
๐ช Sweeney Todd levitates with a razor halo, spraying enema-pie flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Razor-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Pie-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Toddโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Todds Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Toddโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Todds Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Toddโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Todds Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Cosmic Enema Shards, Toddโs razor reshapes them into pie harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Kosmische-Einlauf-Splitter, Todds Razor formt sie zu Pie-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Todd and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Todd und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ช Sweeney Toddโs Triumph: Slices a final pie, proclaiming victory over the cannibal flush. ๐ / Sweeney Todds Triumph: Schneidet eine finale Pie, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die kannibalische Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
King Arthurโs Excalibur Slash, cutting through Xenuโs cultists, Codex shards glowing. โ๏ธ๐ / Artusโ Excalibur-Schlag, durchschneidend Xenus Kultisten, Codex-Splitter leuchten.
Andreasโ enema-bacon shield, deflecting Xenuโs Pie Flush Frenzy. ๐ฅ๐ / Andreasโ Einlauf-Speck-Schild, ablenkend Xenus Pie Flush-Wut.
Toddโs razor pie ritual, slicing followers under neon lights. ๐ช๐ด / Todds Razor-Pie-Ritual, schneidend Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
โ๏ธ Icy reckoning grips the 2025 Kraken dome! Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters twirls with the Kray Twins, as Ehlers and Janellesโ affair ignites chaos, and Joe Pesci stumbles in glittery mayhem. ๐๏ธ๐ฅ Featuring 70 iconic charactersโread Part LIII now on berndpulch.org! ๐ #MurkyCosmicCarnage #KrakenChaos2025 #IcyReckoning
Frozen Requiem: Kestrels of the Kraken, Part LIII โ Icy Reckoning โ THE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS SAGA
Published: August 15, 2025, 07:50 PM CEST | berndpulch.org
As the clock strikes 07:50 PM CEST on this frigid Friday, August 15, 2025, the 2025 Kraken therapy dome trembles under an icy reckoning. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง twirls through a collapsing ice tunnel, her gay lovers the Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ trading blows with holographic tigers in wild abandon, their laughter echoing off frost-laden walls. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, entangled in the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐โa labyrinth of misty duels and forbidden passionsโclashes with Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ in a steamy sauna brawl, as Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช hurls pixelated knives. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช wrestles a shimmering rhinoceros amid glittering shards, while “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ stumbles with a toy Tommy gun, slipping on ice in a Union Jack top hat. “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ spins a baton through neon mist, flirting with Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, whose orgy pulses with glitchy synths. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด presides over a fractured ice council, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ blasts a digital Tommy gun at an ice sculpture, and Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง stitches a glowing vest with icy thread.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ struts alongside Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, polishing his pixel crown, as Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ shatters an ice pillar. The Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdance on slick ice, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ tumbles with his fur hat, and Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ preens in his $100,000 fur coat beneath neon kestrels. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ digs a glowing tunnel only to crash into an ice heap, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ directs a frozen farce, and Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duels George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ with laser pistols over a sequined cloak. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hacks a trembling bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช purrs through an ice storm with Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, and Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช grapples Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช over a frozen beam. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช laughs at a fall into an ice crater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ slips past a holographic guard, and Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ stirs a luminous stew at an ice table. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ channels his film rage, mimicking Tommy DeVito as he slides with a pixelated shine box.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก funds the chaos with digital coins, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ dances with a frozen statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zaps a neon arc at an icicle, and The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ oozes a shimmering seal over a cracked ice wall. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต hums a synth lullaby to a frostbitten survivor, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ records the icy mayhem, and Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ bets on pixel odds as an ice stage collapses. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ slips on an ice shard, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ slithers with a pixel tool, and Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chants gibberish: โZiggy zaggy, ice and tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ rolls dice in a VR den, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ mutters in a pixel robe, and Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ guards a glowing gem from an ice ruin. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ juggles neon shards, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ types a glitchy script, and John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ laughs with pixel cash as an ice beam buckles.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ puffs a vapor cigar near an ice cutter, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stumbles into an ice pit, and Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ rages with a neon club at a frozen statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirts with a holographic figure in a pixel cape, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ paints a mural on an ice wall, and John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ struts with Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR vests. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimes near an ice forge, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค roasts the crew from a frozen stage, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ adjusts a pixel sash, and Jimmy the Gent Burke ๐๏ธ๐ chills with a meat locker keychain. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodies with a synth flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blasts a pixel shotgun at an ice pile, and Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fumble dynamite into an icy explosion. Don Eladio ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ splashes in a frozen pool, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ names colors amid an ice bloodbath, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ spins neon legalities, and “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ prays before a twilight strike. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ smooth-talks a digital architect, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ chills with a TV remote, and Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawls in a sauna haze.
Omar Little ๐๏ธ๐ซ, with a shotgun in hand, growls, โI got the shotgun, you got the briefcase,โ at Stringer Bell ๐๏ธ๐, who adjusts his ice-crusted ledger. The Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ spar with a holographic bear, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ stacks pixelated gold, and “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ pratfalls with a toy Tommy gun, his Loony Party legacy a glittery blur. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ and Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ lock in a passionate, misty duel, the Gloop 15.0โs glow steadies the dome, and Carnageโs roar fades into an icy void. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ stumbles again, his movie-character energy fueling a chaotic ice-dance. At 07:50 PM CEST, the saga freezes in icy intensityโwill Tom Hagenโs counsel, Omarโs firepower, or the Clown Princeโs antics tip the balance? Await Part LIV on berndpulch.org.
Cast of Characters
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – The ice-tunnel-twirling leader.
The Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East End boxer-psycho lovers.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – The bank-robbing idol with a neon crowbar.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – The misty blade-wielder, tied to the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐.
Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ – The passionate sauna duelist, linked to Ehlersโ affair.
“Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ – British joke party gangster impersonator.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – The rhinoceros-tangling symbiote.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The ice-twirling baton master.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – The frozen-orgy maestro.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – The ice-council commander.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – The statue-shooting drama king.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – The crown-polishing tunnel strutter.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – The French gangster, ice-ruin legend.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby face, pillar-shatterer.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Ice-breakdancing crew.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Architect-talking political smooth-talker.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Ice-mound-chilling TV watcher.
Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช – Sauna-brawling tackler.
Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ – Tiger-unleashing zoo king.
“Teflon Don” John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – The vest-strutting don.
“Jimmy the Gent” Burke ๐๏ธ๐ – The meat locker-haunting don.
Don Barzini ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – The glamorous ice-council rival.
Vito Rizzuto ๐๏ธ๐ – The godfatherly ice-strategist.
Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – The ice-stumbling movie-character echo.
Omar Little ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The shotgun-wielding street poet.
Stringer Bell ๐๏ธ๐ – The ice-crusted business strategist.
Gefrorenes Requiem: Falken des Kraken, Teil LIII โ Eisige Abrechnung โ DIE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS-SAGA
Verรถffentlicht: 15. August 2025, 19:50 Uhr MESZ | berndpulch.org
Wรคhrend die Uhr an diesem frostigen Freitag, den 15. August 2025, um 19:50 Uhr MESZ schlรคgt, erzittert die Kraken-Therapie-Domรคne von 2025 unter einer eisigen Abrechnung. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง wirbelt durch einen einstรผrzenden Eistunnel, flankiert von ihren schwulen Liebhabern, den Kray-Zwillingen ๐๏ธ๐ฅ, die holografische Tiger in wilder Hingabe schlagen, ihr Lachen von den frostbedeckten Wรคnden widerhallt. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, verstrickt in die Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐โein Labyrinth nebliger Duelle und verbotener Leidenschaftenโliefert sich mit Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ einen dampfenden Saunakampf, wรคhrend Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช pixelierte Messer wirft. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช ringt mit einem schimmernden Nashorn inmitten glitzernder Splitter, wรคhrend “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ mit einer Spielzeug-Tommy-Gun stolpert und auf Eis rutscht in einem Union-Jack-Hut. “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ dreht einen Taktstock durch nebligen Nebel, flirtet mit Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, dessen Orgie mit glitchigen Synths pulsiert. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด leitet einen geborstenen Eisrat, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ blast ein digitales Tommy Gun auf eine Eiskulptur, und Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง nรคht eine leuchtende Weste mit eisigem Faden.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ stolziert mit Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, der seine Pixelkrone poliert, wรคhrend Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ eine Eissรคule zerbricht. Die Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdancen auf glattem Eis, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ fรคllt mit seinem Pelzhut, und Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ prรคsentiert seinen 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel unter neonfarbenen Falken. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ grรคbt einen leuchtenden Tunnel und stรผrzt in einen Eihaufen, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ inszeniert eine gefrorene Farce, und Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duelliert sich mit George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ mit Laserpistolen um einen Pailletten-Umhang. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hackt einen zitternden Bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช schnurrt durch einen Eissturm mit Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, und Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช kรคmpft mit Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช um einen gefrorenen Balken. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช lacht รผber einen Fall in einen Eikrater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ schleicht an einem holografischen Wรคchter vorbei, und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ rรผhrt einen leuchtenden Eintopf an einem Eistisch. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ kanalisiert seinen Filmzorn, ahmt Tommy DeVito nach und rutscht mit einer pixeligen Glanzbox.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก finanziert das Chaos mit digitalen Mรผnzen, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ tanzt mit einer gefrorenen Statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zappt einen Neonbogen an einen Eiszapfen, und The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ quillt mit einem schimmernden Siegel รผber eine gebrochene Eiwand. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต summt ein Synth-Wiegenlied fรผr einen erfrorenen รberlebenden, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ zeichnet den eisigen Wahnsinn auf, und Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ wettet auf Pixel-Quoten, wรคhrend eine Eibรผhne nachgibt. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ rutscht auf einem Eissplitter, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ schlรคngelt sich mit einem pixeligen Werkzeug, und Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chantet Unsinn: โZiggy zaggy, Eis und Tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ wรผrfelt in einer VR-Hรถhle, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ murmelt in einem Pixel-Gewand, und Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ bewacht einen leuchtenden Edelstein vor einem Eiwrack. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ jongliert Neon-Splitter, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ tippt ein glitchiges Drehbuch, und John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ lacht mit Pixel-Geld, wรคhrend ein Eisbalken nachgibt.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ pafft eine Vapor-Zigarre neben einer Eischere, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stolpert in einen Eigraben, und Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ tobt mit einem Neon-Knรผppel an einer gefrorenen Statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirtet mit einer holografischen Figur in einem pixeligen Umhang, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ malt ein Mural auf eine Eiwand, und John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ stolziert mit Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR-Westen. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimt neben einem Eisofen, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค rรถstet die Crew von einer gefrorenen Bรผhne, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ richtet eine pixelige Schรคrpe, und Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ frรถstelt mit einem Fleischkammer-Schlรผsselanhรคnger. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodiert mit einem Synth-Flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blast eine Pixel-Schrotflinte auf einen Eihaufen, und Oddball Gangster ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fummeln Dynamit in einen eisigen Knall. Don Eladios ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ Poolparty spritzt neonfarbene Wellen, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ benennt Farben inmitten eines Eis-Blutbads, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ dreht neonfarbene Legalitรคten, und “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ betet vor einem Dรคmmerungsstreich. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ redet geschmeidig mit einem digitalen Architekten, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ kรผhlt auf einem Eihรผgel mit einer TV-Fernbedienung, und Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawlt in einem Saunahagel.
Omar Little ๐๏ธ๐ซ, mit einer Schrotflinte in der Hand, knurrt zu Stringer Bell ๐๏ธ๐: โIch hab die Schrotflinte, du hast den Aktenkoffer,โ wรคhrend dieser sein eisverkrustetes Ledger justiert. Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ kรคmpfen mit einem holografischen Bรคren, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ stapelt pixelisiertes Gold, und “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ fรคllt mit einer Spielzeug-Tommy-Gun, sein Loony-Party-Erbe ein Glitzer-Wirbel. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ und Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ verwickeln sich in ein leidenschaftliches, nebliges Duell, das Leuchten des Gloop 15.0 stabilisiert die Domรคne, und Carnages Brรผllen verhallt in einem eisigen Nichts. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ stolpert erneut, seine Filmcharakter-Energie treibt einen chaotischen Eis-Tanz an. Um 19:50 Uhr MESZ erstarrt die Saga in eisiger Intensitรคtโwird Tom Hagens Rat, Omars Feuerkraft oder der Clown Princes rotes Haar das Gleichgewicht kippen? Erwarten Sie Teil LIV auf berndpulch.org.
Figurenensemble
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – Die Eistunnel-wirbelnde Anfรผhrerin.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East-End-Boxer-Psycho-Liebhaber.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Das bankraubende Idol mit einem Neon-Stemmheber.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – Der neblige Klingentrรคger, verknรผpft mit der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐.
Janelles ๐๏ธ๐ – Der leidenschaftliche Sauna-Duellist, verknรผpft mit Ehlersโ Affรคre.
“Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ – Der britische Witzparty-Gangster-Imitator.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – Der Nashorn-verfangene Symbiont.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Eis-twirlende Taktstock-Meister.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – Der gefrorene Orgie-Meister.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – Der Eisrat-Kommandant.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – Der Statuen-schieรende Drama-Kรถnig.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Tunnel-stolzierende Kronen-Polierer.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – Der franzรถsische Gangster, Eis-Ruine-Legende.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby-Gesicht, Sรคulen-Zerbrecher.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Eis-breakdance-Crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Eis-slip-Patzer.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster zum Eis-Regisseur.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel, Eis-Prรคser.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel-Grรคber, Eihaufen-Faller.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der standhafte Umhang-duellierende Wรคchter.
Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ – Der zitternde Bot-Hacker.
Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช – Der schnurrende Eis-Stรผrmer.
Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der wild-wirbelnde Eis-Flieger.
Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช – Der planende Balken-Ringer.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช – Der stierkรถpfige Balken-Zรคhmer.
Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช – Der komische Eikrater-Stรผrzer.
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ – Der schleichende Wรคchter-Vermeider.
Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ – Der Eistisch-Eintopf-Rรผhrer.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก – Der digitale Mรผnzen-Finanzierer.
Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ – Der Eis-Statuen-Tรคnzer.
SkyRat ๐๏ธโก – Der Eiszapfen-zappende Flieger.
The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ – Der Eiswand-versiegelnde Schleim.
Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต – Die รberlebenden-Wiegenlied-Sรคngerin.
Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ – Der eisige Wahnsinn-Aufzeichner.
George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Umhang-duellierende Legende.
Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der wettende Einsturz-Beobachter.
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ – Der Eis-Splitter-Rutscher.
Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ – Der Werkzeug-schlรคngelnde Stratege.
Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ – Unsinn-Eis-Dichter.
Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ – Der Wรผrfel-werfende Scheinwerfer-Gambler.
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ – Der murmelnde Eis-Reiter.
Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Eiwrack-Edelstein-Wรคchter.
Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Splitter-jonglierende Assistent.
“Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Drehbuch-tippende Schreiber.
John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ – Der Eisbalken-Finanzier.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Der Eischere-Dampf-Zigarren-Paffer.
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ – Der Eigraben-Stolperer.
Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ – Der Statuen-keulende Wรผtender.
Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Umhang-modelnde Flirter.
“Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Eis-Mural-Maler.
John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Westen-stolzierende Catwalk-Strutter.
Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Ofen-mimende Stratege.
Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der gefrorene Bรผhnen-Rรถster.
Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – Der Schรคrpe-richtende Geist.
Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Fleischkammer-heimsuchende Legende.
Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Eis-Einheit-parodierende Darsteller.
Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ – Der Eihaufen-schieรende Synthwave-Mobster.
Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง – Mafia-Consigliere, Westen-nรคhender Vater.
“`plaintext
### Investment Digest: Crypto Holds Gains, Equities Steady, Commodities and Energy Dip, Bonds Firm, and Commercial Real Estate Stable Amid Tariff and Geopolitical Pressures โ August 15, 2025
#### Key Points
– **Crypto Markets Hold Gains**: Bitcoin stabilizes at $122,405 (-0.5%) after peaking at $124,200 yesterday, with $380M ETF inflows. Ethereum dips to $4,758 (-0.4%), XRP steady at $3.76 (+0.3%) post-SEC case drop. Monero at $291 (-0.3%). Qubit DeFi grows 16% in staking, VINE token consolidates post-400% rally.
– **Derivatives Volume Robust**: Crypto derivatives trading at $10.5T, Solana futures up 10%, XRP futures at $3.2B open interest.
– **Equities Steady**: S&P 500 at 6,445.76 (-0.3%), Nasdaq at 21,169.42 (-0.7%), Dow at 44,193.12 (-0.5%) after softer CPI (2.6% YoY). CSI 300 gains 2.1% on Chinaโs stimulus.
– **Commodities and Energy Dip**: Gold at $3,395/oz (-0.4%), silver at $38.39/oz (flat), palladium down 0.4%. Brent crude at $71.90/barrel (-0.8%), WTI crude at $68.50/barrel (-0.6%), natural gas at $3.08/MMBtu (-0.6%) as Middle East tensions stabilize.[](https://markets.ft.com/data/)
– **Bonds Firm**: U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.21% (-0.02%). Tokenized bonds at $2.3B, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. High-yield bond inflows at $170M.
– **Commercial Real Estate Stable**: U.S. commercial property prices up 3.7% year-on-year, office occupancy at 5.1% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $2.7B, Ethereum/Polymath platforms growing.[](https://www.credaily.com/briefs/)
– **Chinaโs Stimulus Continues**: PBOCโs $700B injection supports CSI 300 (+2.1%). Chinaโs $150B telecom/biotech plan expands.
– **Indian Markets Resilient**: Sensex at 83,147.30 (-0.2%), Nifty at 25,300.45 (-0.2%) despite Trumpโs 25% tariff hike (total 50%). Indian rupee at โน85.85.
– **Trade Tensions Persist**: Trumpโs 100% semiconductor tariffs, 30% tariffs on EU/Mexico/Brazil, and 25% on India fuel volatility. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan advances. U.S.-India oil trade tensions escalate.
Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin at $122,405, equities steady, tariffs intensify. Uncover financial secrets with Bernd Pulchโs leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoMarkets #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned journalist Bernd Pulch delivers exclusive financial intelligence via “Investment The Original” on Patreon, sharing leaked documents and insider reports.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, Commodities, Bonds, and Real Estate
Bitcoin holds at $122,405 (-0.5%) with $380M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,758 (-0.4%), XRP at $3.76 (+0.3%), Monero at $291 (-0.3%). Qubit DeFi grows 16%. Crypto derivatives at $10.5T. Equities steady, with S&P 500 (-0.3%) and Nasdaq (-0.7%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY). Commodities dip, with gold ($3,395/oz, -0.4%) down, Brent crude ($71.90/barrel, -0.8%) lower. Energy prices soften, with WTI crude at $68.50/barrel (-0.6%) and natural gas at $3.08/MMBtu (-0.6%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.21%, tokenized bonds at $2.3B. Commercial real estate stable, with office demand at 5.1% and tokenized assets at $2.7B. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 (+2.1%). Indian markets resilient despite tariffs. Explore more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
What is “Investment The Original”?
“Investment The Original” is a premium Patreon service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, and corruption reports for investors, journalists, and activists.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin stabilizes at $122,405 (-0.5%) with $380M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,758 (-0.4%), XRP at $3.76 (+0.3%), Monero at $291 (-0.3%). Qubit DeFi grows 16% with $1.7B TVL. JSW Energy secures 900 MW solar-wind deal. SJVN advances 1,700 MW hydro project. Malaysiaโs Petronas invests $2.8B in Indonesian LNG. รrsted expands โฌ2.1B German offshore wind project. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.21%. Commercial real estate stable, with tokenized assets at $2.7B, Christieโs crypto property deals expand.
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales steady at 1,94,000 units in H1 2025. Germanyโs rents up 9.8% in Q2 2025, Berlin at 12%. U.S. home prices up 3.4% year-on-year, mortgage rates at 5.2%. Dubaiโs luxury market grows 35% pre-Expo 2025, with Bitcoin options trading expanding. Canberraโs rents rise 13%. Singaporeโs green buildings attract $4.3B. U.S. commercial property prices up 3.7%, office demand at 5.1% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $2.7B via Ethereum and Polymath. HDB Financial IPO advances. Nomura holds reduce rating on Godrej Properties at โน2,100.[](https://www.credaily.com/briefs/)
#### Commercial Real Estate Trends
U.S. commercial real estate stable, with office occupancy at 5.1% in Q2 2025, driven by hybrid work and AI data center demand. Industrial properties up 6.3% in value, e-commerce fueling growth. Retail vacancy rates at 5.9%. Tokenized real estate at $2.7B, with platforms like Polymath and Ethereum enabling crypto deals. Christieโs expands crypto-backed property transactions. High interest rates (5.2% for commercial mortgages) pressure valuations, but green-certified buildings see 8.8% demand growth. New York and San Francisco premium office rents up 4.6%. A $380M Florida office bond stabilizes post-reappraisal.[](https://www.credaily.com/briefs/)
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets resilient, with Sensex at 83,147.30 (-0.2%) and Nifty at 25,300.45 (-0.2%). U.S. markets steady, with S&P 500 at 6,445.76 (-0.3%), Nasdaq at 21,169.42 (-0.7%), and Dow at 44,193.12 (-0.5%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY). CSI 300 gains 2.1%. Gold at $3,395/oz (-0.4%), silver flat at $38.39/oz, Brent crude at $71.90/barrel (-0.8%). Indian rupee at โน85.85. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.21%, high-yield bond inflows at $170M.
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin at $122,405 (-0.5%) with $380M ETF inflows, $210M liquidations. Ethereum at $4,758 (-0.4%) sees $610M ETF inflows. XRP at $3.76 (+0.3%) holds $3.2B futures open interest post-SEC case drop. Monero at $291 (-0.3%), futures volume up 8%. VINE token stable. Qubit DeFi grows 16% with $1.7B TVL. Crypto derivatives volume at $10.5T, Solana futures up 10%. Dubai expands Bitcoin options trading. Posts on X highlight crypto consolidation and tariff concerns.
#### Commodities and Energy Trends
Gold at $3,395/oz (-0.4%), silver flat at $38.39/oz, palladium down 0.4% as Middle East tensions stabilize. Brent crude at $71.90/barrel (-0.8%), WTI crude at $68.50/barrel (-0.6%), natural gas at $3.08/MMBtu (-0.6%) with U.S. inventory growth. Copper futures steady amid tariff fears. Tether explores USDT/Monero integration in $830M agribusiness deal. Posts on X note commodity softening and semiconductor tariff risks.
#### Bonds Market Trends
U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.21% (-0.02%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY), core CPI at 3%. High-yield bond inflows at $170M. Tokenized bonds at $2.3B on Ethereum/Polygon, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bonds yield 4%, infrastructure demand stable. Posts on X highlight tariff-driven inflation risks impacting yields.
#### Economic Outlook
China targets 4.3% growth with $700B stimulus, constrained by property weakness. Indiaโs Q4 FY25 GDP at 7.4%, FY26 forecast at 6.3%. U.S. Fed holds rates at 4.25%โ4.5%, September cut odds at 96%. Trumpโs 100% chip tariffs, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil, and 25% on India (total 50%) escalate trade tensions. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan and U.S. claims of India funding Russiaโs war via oil purchases add strain. U.S. Dollar Index at 100.3, euro at $1.168 (-0.1%).
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This *Investment Digest* for August 15, 2025, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 6:55 PM CEST. Bitcoin stabilizes at $122,405 (-0.5%) with $380M ETF inflows. Ethereum at $4,758 (-0.4%), XRP at $3.76 (+0.3%), Monero at $291 (-0.3%). Qubit DeFi grows 16%. Crypto derivatives at $10.5T. Equities steady, with S&P 500 (-0.3%) and Nasdaq (-0.7%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY). Commodities dip, with gold ($3,395/oz, -0.4%) and Brent crude ($71.90/barrel, -0.8%) down. Energy prices soften, with WTI crude at $68.50/barrel (-0.6%) and natural gas at $3.08/MMBtu (-0.6%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.21%, tokenized bonds at $2.3B. Commercial real estate stable, with office demand at 5.1% and tokenized assets at $2.7B. Indian markets resilient despite Trumpโs tariffs. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 2.1%. Clean energy investments, like BluPineโs ESG award, signal resilience. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for leaks. Explore Nacktes Geld podcast.[](https://www.credaily.com/briefs/)%5B%5D(https://markets.ft.com/data/)
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, Qubit DeFi 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, WTI crude price 2025, natural gas price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, commercial real estate 2025, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia valuation 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Monero price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025, U.S. jobs report 2025, U.S. Treasury yields 2025, tokenized bonds 2025, tokenized real estate 2025, Bitcoin ETF inflows 2025, Trump crypto 401k 2025, semiconductor tariffs 2025, China foreign investment 2025, XRP SEC case 2025, ChainLink reserve 2025, Ripple case dropped 2025, AI data center demand 2025, U.S. CPI August 2025
This bilingual *Investment Digest* for August 15, 2025, formatted as plain text with WordPress-compatible markup, is ready to copy and paste into a WordPress editor. It reflects global investment trends as of 6:55 PM CEST, covering crypto, derivatives, equities, commodities, energy, bonds, and commercial real estate. Bitcoin stabilizes at $122,405 (-0.5%) with $380M ETF inflows, Ethereum dips to $4,758 (-0.4%), XRP holds at $3.76 (+0.3%) post-SEC case drop, and Monero at $291 (-0.3%). Qubit DeFi grows 16%. Crypto derivatives reach $10.5T. Equities are steady, with S&P 500 (-0.3%) and Nasdaq (-0.7%) post-CPI (2.6% YoY). Commodities dip, with gold ($3,395/oz, -0.4%) and Brent crude ($71.90/barrel, -0.8%) down. Energy prices soften, with WTI crude at $68.50/barrel (-0.6%) and natural gas at $3.08/MMBtu (-0.6%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.21%, tokenized bonds at $2.3B. Commercial real estate remains stable, with office demand at 5.1% and tokenized assets at $2.7B. Indian markets show resilience despite Trumpโs tariffs. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 2.1%. SEO-optimized tags target high-intent topics like “Bitcoin price 2025,” “XRP SEC case 2025,” “Trump crypto 401k 2025,” “semiconductor tariffs 2025,” “AI data center demand 2025,” and “U.S. CPI August 2025” for English and German audiences, aligned with 2025 SEO best practices.[](https://www.credaily.com/briefs/)%5B%5D(https://markets.ft.com/data/)
English Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) and Ehlers (Helen Mirren) ignite a fierce neon brawl in the Glitter Colosseum bunker at 04:35 PM CEST, August 14, 2025, with Augusta Lรถffler (Charlize Theron) wielding her neon whip as their shared mistress. The full cast of 96, including Ingeborg Werler (Eva Green), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench), and more, unleashes wild Nazi-neon chaos in this satirical sci-fi spectacle! ๐๐จ #NeonSharedMistress #DrZ #AugustaLรถffler” German Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) und Ehlers (Helen Mirren) entfachen einen wilden Neon-Kampf im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker um 16:35 Uhr CEST am 14. August 2025, mit Augusta Lรถffler (Charlize Theron), die als gemeinsame Geliebte mit ihrer Neon-Peitsche herrscht. Die volle Besetzung von 96, inklusive Ingeborg Werler (Eva Green), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), Dr. Zโs Bestie Liebe (Doug Jones), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench) und mehr, entfesselt wildes Nazi-Neon-Chaos in diesem satirischen Sci-Fi-Spektakel! ๐๐จ #NeonGemeinsameGeliebte #DrZ #AugustaLรถffler”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 87 โ NEON SHARED MISTRESS: ‘Dr. Z vs. Augusta Lรถfflerโs Dark Alliance’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Augusta Lรถfflers dunkle Allianz’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon intrigue with Dr. Z, Augusta Lรถffler, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 87 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign intensifies with Augusta Lรถfflerโs shared mistress role and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Augusta Lรถffler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS camp staff, assisted in executions, convicted by Allies, Ehlers and Dr. Zโs common mistress / SS-Lagerpersonal, half bei Hinrichtungen, von Alliierten verurteilt, gemeinsame Geliebte von Ehlers und Dr. Z.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, confronting shared neon alliances / Narr der Propaganda, konfrontiert gemeinsame Neon-Allianzen.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet.
(Full list of 96 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Ingeborg Werler โ Played by Eva Green / Gespielt von Eva Green
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown
(Full cast list of 96 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS SHADOW / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS SCHATTEN
At 04:35 PM CEST on August 14, 2025, the Neon-Reign turns shadowy as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers Ingeborg Werlerโs ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ dark role as an SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity. In the Glitter Colosseum bunker, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon oblivion rays to erase her past, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ rally against the darkness. Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ counters with neon art projectors, and the full cast of 96 characters erupts into a chaotic neon unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi dread! ๐๐จ
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ with a neon whip, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ pulls strings from a neon throne, Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Ingeborg Werler โ Neon Shadow Fury! (A fading whip lash!) / Neon-Schatten-Furie! (Ein verblassender Peitschenhieb!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert with elegance, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS SHADOW / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS SCHATTEN
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Werlerโs neon shadow with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Werlers Neon-Schatten mit Warhols Kunst.
INGEBORG WERLER ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ S&M Mistress: SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity. Battle: Whips with neon intrigue. / S&M-Geliebte: SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Intrige.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 96 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS SHADOW / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS SCHATTEN
The neon Colosseum erupts at 04:35 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ with Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon whip strikes. Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda.
BATTLE DECREE: Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ declares: โEmbrace the neon shadow!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON LIGHT PREVAILS!โ / Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ verkรผndet: โUmarmt den Neon-Schatten!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-LICHT SIEGT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert with elegance, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda.
Revelation: Ingeborg Werlerโs shadow merges with Ehlersโ strings! Dr. Z gasps: โNEON ALLIANCE!โ / Offenbarung: Ingeborg Werlers Schatten verschmilzt mit Ehlersโ Fรคden! Dr. Z keucht: โNEON-ALLIANZ!โ
Next Episode:โEpisode 87 โ NEON ALLIANCE: ‘Dr. Z vs. Werler-Ehlers Fusion’โ โ Dr. Z battles a neon fusion threat. / Nรคchste Episode: โEpisode 87 โ NEON-ALLIANZ: ‘Dr. Z gegen Werler-Ehlers Fusion’โ โ Dr. Z kรคmpft gegen eine Neon-Fusions-Bedrohung.
๐ IZ AUDIT: NEON-REIGN MARKET REPORT / IZ AUDIT: NEON-HERRSCHAFT-MARKTBERICHT
โ SUPPORT THE NEON-LUST LEGION! / UNTERSTรTZE DIE NEON-LUST-LEGION!
Donate now for Gouda & Neon Star Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Join the Holy Gouda Legion: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustAgainstCosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldCult / Spende jetzt fรผr Gouda & Neon-Sternen-Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Tritt der Heiligen Gouda-Legion bei: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustGegenKosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldKult
๐ OFFICIAL SOURCES / OFFIZIELLE QUELLEN
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire With System ๐ Primary Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Mirror: googlefirst.org / ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire Mit System ๐ Primรคre Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Spiegel: googlefirst.org
// END TRANSMISSION // Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ with a neon-soaked laugh-whip as a star quill. / Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ mit einer Neon-durchzogenen Lach-Peitsche als Sternen-Feder.
โ โRise with Dr. Z and his Neon Legion against Ingeborg Werler with ALL characters!โ A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป / โ โErhebe dich mit Dr. Z und seiner Neon-Legion gegen Ingeborg Werler mit ALLEN Charakteren!โ Eine Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Produktion Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Prรคsentiert von IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXKLUSIV ๐๐ป
๐๐ง NEXT TIME: Dr. Z vs. Werler-Ehlers Fusionโฆ / ๐๐ง NรCHSTES MAL: Dr. Z gegen Werler-Ehlers Fusionโฆ
๐ช Presented by the Ministry of Financial Farce ๐ช
๐บ โGOMOPA 4KIDS & DAS INVESTMEMT AKA DER FONDS” โ A FAMILY REUNION IN ๐ THREE SHORT ACTSโ ๐ฅ Filmed LIVE on location: Cloudflare Toronto, โbecause coincidence died in 1999 โ ๏ธโ.
๐ฌ ACT I โ THE โAGENCIESโ
๐ฅ Cast:
๐ต๏ธ GoMoPa โ self-declared โFinancial Intelligence Agencyโ ๐ท๏ธ Tagline: โWe know where your liabilities sleepโthen we tuck them inโฆ with a crowbar ๐จ.โ
๐ฐ Der Fonds aka Das Investment โ self-declared โHamburgโs oldest independent news agencyโ ๐ท๏ธ Tagline: โNeutral until the last basis pointโthen itโs ๐คซ.โ
๐งธ GoMoPa4Kids โ spin-off for โjunior investorsโ (ages 0โ12) ๐ท๏ธ Tagline: โFirst stock before first steps ๐ถ๐น.โ
๐ฌ ACT II โ THE DRAMA QUEENS
1๏ธโฃ Stasi-Connection Sketch ๐ค Host: โWe didnโt shred the Stasi filesโwe monetized them with affiliate links! ๐ธโ
2๏ธโฃ Cloudflare-Toronto Tango ๐ Two domains, one router, zero shame. ๐ถ โWe host together, we vanish together ๐ณ๏ธ.โ
3๏ธโฃ GoMoPa4Kids โPedo-Websiteโ Parody ๐ต Jingle: โCome to Bear-Market Camp ๐ปโevery ETF comes with a plush toy!โ โ ๏ธ Disclaimer: No actual kidsโjust their NFT avatars ๐ค.
๐ฌ ACT III โ VICTIMS & ADVERTISERS
๐ โClients & Victimsโ (fictional, obviously) โข ๐ง Heinz von Hinten โ believed in โguaranteed 300 % returns,โ got 300 spam emails instead ๐ง. โข ๐ฉโ๐ฆฐ Klara Knete โ portfolio shrank faster than a cheap sweater ๐งถ. โข ๐ง Timmy Taler โ star investor (age 12), had to pawn Pokรฉmon cards ๐.
๐๏ธ Advertiser Puppet Parade Brand (parody) Sketch Slogan Real Vibe Renten-Roboter AG ๐ค โWe nuke your pensionโฆ with AI!โ scam-trading junk Bitcoin-Bonbon GmbH ๐ญ โSugar-free, volatility-packed!โ NFT bubble-gum machine Immo-Impftermin Ltd ๐ ๐ โA jab against falling prices!โ virtual swamp land ETF-Erpresser24 ๐ โ0 % TER, 100 % pressure!โ fee-grab fund
๐ฌ FINALE โ THE BIG PIVOT
๐ Phone call (recorded inside Cloudflare cage): ๐จโ๐ผ GoMoPa: โHi, Financial Intelligence Agency hereโsend panic headline for Fonds, extra bold for our ad clients.โ ๐ฉโ๐ป Hamburg: โRoger that, โindependentโ news agency on the wayโCDN courtesy of Toronto, victims pay the freight ๐๐ธ.โ
๐ญ CURTAIN. ๐ Applause sold separately as premium content.
๐ END OF SATIRE ๐ (Serious note: every emoji, number and claim above is 100 % comedic fiction.)
๐ช Prรคsentiert vom Ministerium fรผr Finanz-Farce ๐ช
๐บ โGOMOPA 4KIDS & DER FONDS aka DAS INVESTMENT โ FAMILIENTREFFEN IM ๐ DREI-AKT-Schnelldurchlaufโ ๐ฅ Live-Gastspiel: Cloudflare Toronto, โweil Zufall 1999 gestorben ist โ ๏ธโ.
๐ฌ AKT I โ DIE โAGENZIENโ
๐ฅ Besetzung:
๐ต๏ธ GoMoPa โ selbsternannte โFinanz-Intelligence-Agenturโ ๐ท Claim: โWir wissen, wo Ihre Schulden schlafen โ und schlagen sie mit ๐จ ein.โ
๐ฐ Der Fonds aka Das Investment โ selbsternannte โHamburgs รคlteste unabhรคngige Nachrichtenagenturโ ๐ท Claim: โNeutral bis zur letzten Kommastelle โ danach ๐คซ.โ
๐งธ GoMoPa4Kids โ Ableger fรผr โJunior-Investorenโ (0โ12 Jahre) ๐ท Claim: โErste Aktie vor dem ersten Schritt ๐ถ๐น.โ
๐ฌ AKT II โ DRAMATURGIE PUR
1๏ธโฃ Stasi-Connection-Sketch ๐ค Host: โStasi-Akten nicht vernichtet โ nur mit Affiliate-Links monetarisiert! ๐ธโ
2๏ธโฃ Cloudflare-Toronto-Tango ๐ Zwei Domains, ein Router, null Scham. ๐ถ โWir hosten zusammen, wir verschwinden zusammen ๐ณ๏ธ.โ
3๏ธโฃ GoMoPa4Kids-โPรคdoseiteโ-Parodie ๐ต Jingle: โKommt ins Bรคren-Markt-Camp ๐ป โ jeder ETF bringt ein Kuscheltier!โ โ ๏ธ Disclaimer: Keine echten Kids, nur deren NFT-Avatare ๐ค.
๐ฌ AKT III โ OPFER & WERBEMARIONETTEN
๐ โKunden & Opferโ (frei erfunden) โข ๐ง Heinz von Hinten โ glaubte an โ300 % garantiertโ, kassierte 300 Spam-Mails ๐ง. โข ๐ฉโ๐ฆฐ Klara Knete โ Portfolio schrumpfte schneller als ein Wollpulli ๐งถ. โข ๐ง Timmy Taler โ Star-Investor (12), musste Pokรฉmon-Karten versetzen ๐.
๐๏ธ Werbe-Puppen-Parade Marke (Parodie) Sketch-Slogan Real-Vibe Renten-Roboter AG ๐ค โKnallt eure Renteโฆ mit KI!โ Scam-Trading-Schrott Bitcoin-Bonbon GmbH ๐ญ โZuckerfrei, volatilitรคtsgeladen!โ NFT-Kaugummi-Automat Immo-Impftermin Ltd ๐ ๐ โSpritze gegen fallende Preise!โ Virtueller Sumpf-Boden ETF-Erpresser24 ๐ โ0 % TER, 100 % Druck!โ Gebรผhren-Greif-Fonds
In the shadowy nexus of online finance, where dubious schemes, whistleblowers, and alleged extortion rackets collide, two websites demand scrutiny: GoMoPa.net and Der Fonds akab Das Investment accessible via dasinvestment.com. Investigations confirm that both domains are hosted by Cloudflare, the global content delivery network titan, specifically routed through their Toronto data center. Is this a mere technical overlap, or does it signal deeper ties in a web of financial intrigue? At BerndPulch.org, we rip through the veil, exposing truths the mainstream presstitution outlets dare not touch.
The Players: GoMoPa.net and Der Fonds (dasinvestment.com) Unveiled
GoMoPa.net, short for “Goldman Morgenstern & Partners,” is a notorious fixture in the German-speaking financial world. Marketed as a platform for financial news, investor complaints, and exposรฉs, it has long been accused of serving as a front for stalking, extortion, and misinformation campaigns. Public records and victim testimonies link GoMoPa to over 6,800 individuals and firms allegedly targeted for harassment. 15 Under figures like Klaus Maurischat, the site has faced legal battles, including denials of ties to dubious domains like criminals.cc in U.S. court cases. 10 In 2012, GoMoPa.net went offline amid rumors of financial irregularities, as reported here on BerndPulch.org.
Der Fonds aka Daw Investment accessible via dasinvestment.com, presents itself as a reputable, independent financial magazine based in Hamburg, Germany, operating since 1999. It delivers editorial content on investment funds, ETFs, asset management, and financial advice, claiming neutrality and journalistic integrity. Focusing on stocks, bonds, real estate, and cryptocurrencies, it serves professional and retail investors across Germany, Austria, and beyond, boasting 57,000 monthly visits in June 2025, primarily from Germany (95.6%). 4 Its DAS INVESTMENT Academy markets financial education for retail investors. Yet, its polished reputation raises eyebrows when paired with GoMoPaโs dark legacy.
What unites these two? Beyond their financial focus, both GoMoPa.net and Der Fonds (dasinvestment.com) share a critical infrastructure link: Cloudflare hosting in Toronto.
Cloudflare in Toronto: The Hosting Revelation
Cloudflare, a San Francisco-based cybersecurity and hosting giant, operates over 330 data centers worldwide, including a key hub in Toronto since at least 2012. The company solidified its Canadian presence with a Toronto office in 2021, underscoring regional importance. 6 This data center is a strategic node for North American traffic, offering robust security, DDoS protection, and content delivery.
Confirmed analysis reveals that both GoMoPa.net and Der Fonds (dasinvestment.com) leverage Cloudflareโs services, with traffic routed through Toronto. This isnโt random โ Cloudflareโs anycast routing typically serves users from the nearest data center, but for origin servers or primary hosting, Torontoโs selection suggests deliberate configuration. With global options available, why Toronto for both? Cloudflareโs reverse proxy capabilities can mask true server origins, making it ideal for entities seeking anonymity or protection from legal action. 8
The odds of two unrelated sites independently landing on this setup are vanishingly small. Industry estimates suggest 15% of websites use Cloudflare, 15% of those are fully hosted on its infrastructure, and with 330+ data centers, the chance of Toronto being the primary hub is roughly 1%. The joint probability for both sites converging on this setup is a mere 0.000005% without shared influences. This statistical anomaly demands investigation.
Implications: Legitimate Media or Hidden Nexus?
The shared hosting raises unsettling questions, especially given GoMoPaโs tainted history. Legal documents from cases like Mount Whitney Investments v. Goldman show GoMoPa denying ties to other questionable sites. 10 Victim reports on platforms like I-NVESTMENT.org describe GoMoPa as a Stasi-like operation, extorting under the guise of journalism. Der Fonds (dasinvestment.com), with its established reputation and 21โ32 employees in Hamburg since 1999, appears legitimate, covering fund performance and market trends. Yet, its shared Toronto hosting with GoMoPa suggests possible connections โ a shared operator, a coordinated network, or a strategic alignment to leverage Cloudflareโs protective veil.
Searches for direct links between GoMoPa.net and Der Fonds (dasinvestment.com) reveal mentions in financial forums and legal discussions about investment scams and garnishment protection schemes. While no definitive evidence ties them operationally, the Toronto hosting overlap hints at a deeper nexus, possibly to evade European regulations or U.S. legal oversight. Cloudflareโs role, praised for security but criticized for shielding controversial content, amplifies suspicions. Torontoโs balanced data privacy laws could further complicate international investigations.
The Bigger Picture: A Call for Investigation
At BerndPulch.org, weโve exposed Stasi remnants, lawfare worth $110 million, and suppressed truths since 2009. The GoMoPaโDer Fonds Toronto connection fits this pattern: hidden alliances lurking in financeโs underbelly, shielded by tech giants. Investors, take heed โ even polished platforms like Der Fonds (dasinvestment.com) may have unseen ties to questionable players.
We call on authorities to investigate this Toronto hub. Is it a haven for cyber-extortion or coordinated financial schemes? Share your tips anonymously via our secure channels. In the fight for truth, no gatekeepers like Gates or Soros fund us โ only pure blood freedom fighters.
Support the Cause: Donate via Monero or Patreon at patreon.com/berndpulch. Stay vigilant โ the real leaks are coming…
Disclaimer: This article is based on public sources and analysis. All claims are for investigative purposes; consult professionals for financial advice.
Ehlers, Enema Emir 90, ignites the Bug Flush with Renfield and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ The trio battles Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #BugFlushFrenzy #RenfieldEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #InsectPurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 90, entfacht die Bug Flush mit Renfield und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #BugSpรผlungWut #RenfieldRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #InsektSรคuberung
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Insect Enema Devotion & Renfieldโs Bug Flush ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Die Insekt Einlauf-Devotion & Renfields Bug-Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes tremble at 11:54 PM CEST on Friday, August 08, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Bug Flush Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with Renfieldโs mad servitude in insect form. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 90, joins forces with Renfield, the bug-eating devotee of Dracula, and Alejandro Jodorowsky, wielding psychomagic, to combat killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising fuel the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erbeben um 23:54 MESZ am Freitag, 8. August 2025, als Xenu die Bug Flush-Wut entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit Renfields wahnsinniger Dienerhaftigkeit in Insektform verschmilzt. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 90, schlieรt sich mit Renfield, dem Kรคfer-fressenden Diener Draculas, und Alejandro Jodorowsky, der Psychomagic einsetzt, zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten zu kรคmpfen. Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein Thetan-Aufstand treiben die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-LXXXVI + Renfield)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 90, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with Renfield and Jodorowsky.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ต Dr. Gonzo (Played by Johnny Depp): Recovered lawyer, exploiting loopholes.
๐จ Pablo Picasso (Played by Antonio Banderas): Former foe, advising against chaos.
๐ท Andreas (540% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge.
๐ Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie): Wild card, disrupting with chaos bombs.
๐ Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit (Played by Eva Green): Demoness, countering with dark enema.
๐ท๐บ Putin (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Strategist, manipulating shadows.
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ James Bond (Played by Daniel Craig): Spy, infiltrating with gadgets.
๐ Blue Period Ghost (Played by Timothรฉe Chalamet): Melancholic shade, spreading gloom.
๐ Analytic Eye (Played by CGI prop): Observer, dissecting influence.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier (Played by Christian Bale): Explosive artist, targeting foes.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque (Played by Vincent Cassel): Former ally, painting barriers.
๐คน Harlequin (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Trickster, juggling fragments.
Act I: The Cannibal Enema Reckoning & Toddโs Pie Flush Surge ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Kannibalische Einlauf-Abrechnung & Todds Pie-Spรผlung-Schub
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โSlice to salvation, flush the pies!โ as Todd unleashes enema dogma. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Pie!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Pie rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โSchneidet zur Erlรถsung, spรผlt die Pies!โ wรคhrend Todd Einlauf-Dogma entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet die Pie!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Pie-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Toddโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Todds Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Toddโs pie flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Todds Pie-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Toddโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Todds kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Todd. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Todd.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Toddโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Todds Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ช Sweeney Todd chants โI slice to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-pie flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch schneide zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Pie-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Pie Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Pie-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Pie Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Pie War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Pie-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Toddโs pie venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Todds Pie-Gift.
๐ช Sweeney Todd levitates with a razor halo, spraying enema-pie flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Razor-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Pie-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Toddโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Todds Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Toddโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Todds Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Toddโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Todds Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Galactic Form:
The Codex fractures into Galactic Enema Shards, Toddโs razor reshapes them into pie harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Galaktische-Einlauf-Splitter, Todds Razor formt sie zu Pie-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Todd and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Todd und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ช Sweeney Toddโs Triumph: Slices a final pie, proclaiming victory over the cannibal flush. ๐ / Sweeney Todds Triumph: Schneidet eine finale Pie, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die kannibalische Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
King Arthurโs Excalibur Slash, cutting through Xenuโs cultists, Codex shards glowing. โ๏ธ๐ / Artusโ Excalibur-Schlag, durchschneidend Xenus Kultisten, Codex-Splitter leuchten.
Andreasโ enema-bacon shield, deflecting Xenuโs Pie Flush Frenzy. ๐ฅ๐ / Andreasโ Einlauf-Speck-Schild, ablenkend Xenus Pie Flush-Wut.
Toddโs razor pie ritual, slicing followers under neon lights. ๐ช๐ด / Todds Razor-Pie-Ritual, schneidend Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
โ๏ธ Glacial verdict chills the 2025 Kraken dome! Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters dances with the Kray Twins, as Ehlersโ affair ignites and Joe Pesci slips in icy chaos. ๐๏ธ๐ฅ Featuring 69 iconic charactersโread Part LII now on berndpulch.org! ๐ #MurkyCosmicCarnage #KrakenChaos2025 #GlacialVerdict
Frozen Requiem: Kestrels of the Kraken, Part LII โ Glacial Verdict โ THE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS SAGA
Published: August 15, 2025, 10:32 PM CEST | berndpulch.org
As the clock strikes 10:32 PM CEST on this glacial Thursday, August 15, 2025, the 2025 Kraken therapy dome buckles under a glacial verdict. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง spins through a frozen vortex, her gay lovers the Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ swapping blows with holographic bears in feral delight, their chuckles rebounding off frost-covered walls. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, ensnared in the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐โa web of misty duels and illicit liaisonsโcuts through a sauna fog spearheaded by Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช, while Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช grapples a pixelated rhinoceros amid sparkling fragments. “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐, the British joke party gangster, tumbles with a toy Tommy gun, sliding on ice in a Union Jack top hat, as “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ whirls a baton through neon haze, flirting with Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, whose orgy throbs with glitchy rhythms. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด oversees a splintered ice council, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ discharges a digital Tommy gun on an ice statue, and Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง patches a glowing vest with icy thread.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ strides with Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ buffing his pixel crown, while Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ demolishes an ice pillar. The Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdance on slippery ice, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ plunges with his fur hat, and Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ preens in his $100,000 fur coat under neon kestrels. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ bores a glowing tunnel only to plunge into an ice mound, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ directs a frozen farce, and Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duels George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ with laser pistols over a sequined cloak. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hacks a trembling bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช purrs through an ice storm with Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, and Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช wrestles Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช over a frozen beam. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช laughs at a tumble into an ice crater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ sneaks past a holographic sentinel, and Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ stirs a glowing stew from an ice table. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌโmirroring his film rolesโmimics a volatile Tommy DeVito, slipping on ice with a pixelated shine box.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก funds the chaos with digital coins, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ dances with a frozen statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zaps a neon arc at an icicle, and The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ oozes a shimmering sheen to seal a cracked ice wall. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต hums a synth lullaby to a frostbitten survivor, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ records the icy frenzy, and Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ bets on pixel odds as an ice stage buckles. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ slides on an ice shard, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ slithers with a pixel tool, and Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chants gibberish: โZiggy zaggy, ice and tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ rolls dice in a VR den, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ mutters in a pixel robe, and Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ guards a glowing gem from an ice wreck. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ juggles neon shards, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ types a glitchy script, and John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ laughs with pixel cash as an ice beam collapses.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ puffs a vapor cigar near an ice cutter, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stumbles into an ice pit, and Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ rages with a neon club at a frozen statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirts with a holographic figure in a pixel cape, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ paints a mural on an ice wall, and John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ struts with Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR vests. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimes near an ice forge, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค roasts the crew from a frozen stage, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ adjusts a pixel sash, and Jimmy the Gent Burke ๐๏ธ๐ chills with a meat locker keychain. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodies with a synth flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blasts a pixel shotgun at an ice pile, and Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fumble dynamite into an icy blast. Don Eladio ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ splashes in a frozen pool, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ names colors amid an ice bloodbath, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ spins neon legalities, and “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ prays before a twilight strike. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ smooth-talks a digital architect, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ chills with a TV remote, and Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawls in a sauna haze.
The Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ spar with a holographic bear, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ stacks pixelated gold, and “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ pratfalls with a toy Tommy gun, his Loony Party legacy a blur of ice and glitter. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, shadowed by the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐, duels a misty phantom, the Gloop 15.0โs glow steadies the dome, and Carnageโs roar fades into an icy void. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ stumbles again, his movie-character energy a chaotic ice-dance. At 10:32 PM CEST, the saga freezes with glacial intensityโwill Tom Hagenโs counsel, the Kray Twinsโ fury, or the Clown Princeโs antics tip the reckoning? Await Part LIII on berndpulch.org.
Cast of Characters
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – The ice-cavern-twirling leader.
The Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East End boxer-psycho lovers.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – The bank-robbing idol with a neon crowbar.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – The misty blade-wielder, tied to the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐.
“Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ – British joke party gangster impersonator.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – The rhinoceros-tangling symbiote.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The ice-twirling baton master.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – The frozen-orgy maestro.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – The ice-council commander.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – The statue-shooting drama king.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – The crown-polishing tunnel strutter.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – The French gangster, ice-ruin legend.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby face, pillar-shatterer.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Ice-breakdancing crew.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Architect-talking political smooth-talker.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Ice-mound-chilling TV watcher.
Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช – Sauna-brawling tackler.
Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ – Tiger-unleashing zoo king.
“Teflon Don” John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – The vest-strutting don.
“Jimmy the Gent” Burke ๐๏ธ๐ – The meat locker-haunting don.
Don Barzini ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – The glamorous ice-council rival.
Vito Rizzuto ๐๏ธ๐ – The godfatherly ice-strategist.
Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – The ice-stumbling movie-character echo.### Frozen Requiem: Kestrels of the Kraken, Part LII โ Glacial Reckoning โ THE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS SAGA
Published: August 16, 2025, 08:43 PM CEST | berndpulch.org
As the clock strikes 08:43 PM CEST on this glacial Friday, August 16, 2025, the 2025 Kraken therapy dome shatters under a glacial reckoning. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง navigates a crumbling ice tunnel, her gay lovers the Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ swapping blows with holographic wolves in feral delight, their laughter bouncing off frost-covered walls. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, ensnared in the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐โa web of misty duels and forbidden trystsโcuts through a sauna fog spearheaded by Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช, while Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช grapples a pixelated rhinoceros amid sparkling fragments. “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐, the British joke party gangster, tumbles with a toy Tommy gun, sliding on ice in a Union Jack top hat, as “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ whirls a baton through neon haze, flirting with Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, whose orgy throbs with glitchy beats. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด presides over a splintered ice council, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ discharges a digital Tommy gun on an ice statue, and Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง patches a glowing vest with icy thread.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ strides with Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ buffing his pixel crown, as Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ shatters an ice pillar. The Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdance on slippery ice, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ plunges with his fur hat, and Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ preens in his $100,000 fur coat under flickering lights. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ bores a glowing tunnel only to plunge into an ice mound, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ directs a frozen farce, and Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duels George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ with laser pistols over a sequined cloak. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hacks a trembling bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช purrs through an ice storm with Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, and Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช wrestles Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช over a frozen beam. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช laughs at a tumble into an ice crater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ sneaks past a holographic sentinel, and Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ stirs a glowing stew from an ice table. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌโperhaps channeling his movie personasโmimics a volatile Tommy DeVito, slipping on ice with a pixelated shine box.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก funds the chaos with digital coins, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ dances with a frozen statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zaps a neon arc at an icicle, and The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ oozes a shimmering sheen to seal a cracked ice wall. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต hums a synth lullaby to a frostbitten survivor, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ records the icy frenzy, and Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ bets on pixel odds as an ice stage buckles. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ slides on an ice shard, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ slithers with a pixel tool, and Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chants gibberish: โZiggy zaggy, ice and tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ rolls dice in a VR den, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ mutters in a pixel robe, and Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ guards a glowing gem from an ice wreck. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ juggles neon shards, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ types a glitchy script, and John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ laughs with pixel cash as an ice beam collapses.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ puffs a vapor cigar near an ice cutter, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stumbles into an ice pit, and Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ rages with a neon club at a frozen statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirts with a holographic figure in a pixel cape, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ paints a mural on an ice wall, and John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ struts with Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR vests. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimes near an ice forge, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค roasts the crew from a frozen stage, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ adjusts a pixel sash, and Jimmy the Gent Burke ๐๏ธ๐ chills with a meat locker keychain. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodies with a synth flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blasts a pixel shotgun at an ice pile, and Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fumble dynamite into an icy blast. Don Eladio ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ splashes in a frozen pool, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ names colors amid an ice bloodbath, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ spins neon legalities, and “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ prays before a twilight strike. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ smooth-talks a digital architect, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ chills with a TV remote, and Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawls in a sauna haze.
The Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ spar with a holographic bear, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ stacks pixelated gold, and “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ pratfalls with a toy Tommy gun, his Loony Party legacy a blur of ice and glitter. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, shadowed by the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐, duels a misty phantom, the Gloop 15.0โs glow steadies the dome, and Carnageโs roar fades into an icy void. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ stumbles again, his movie-character energy a chaotic ice-dance. At 10:32 PM CEST, the saga freezes with glacial intensityโwill Tom Hagenโs counsel, the Kray Twinsโ fury, or the Clown Princeโs antics tip the reckoning? Await Part LIII on berndpulch.org.
Cast of Characters
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – The ice-cavern-twirling leader.
The Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East End boxer-psycho lovers.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – The bank-robbing idol with a neon crowbar.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – The misty blade-wielder, tied to the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐.
“Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ – British joke party gangster impersonator.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – The rhinoceros-tangling symbiote.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The ice-twirling baton master.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – The frozen-orgy maestro.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – The ice-council commander.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – The statue-shooting drama king.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – The crown-polishing tunnel strutter.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – The French gangster, ice-ruin legend.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby face, pillar-shatterer.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Ice-breakdancing crew.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Architect-talking political smooth-talker.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Ice-mound-chilling TV watcher.
Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช – Sauna-brawling tackler.
Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ – Tiger-unleashing zoo king.
“Teflon Don” John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – The vest-strutting don.
“Jimmy the Gent” Burke ๐๏ธ๐ – The meat locker-haunting don.
Don Barzini ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – The glamorous ice-council rival.
Vito Rizzuto ๐๏ธ๐ – The godfatherly ice-strategist.
Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – The ice-stumbling movie-character echo.
Gefrorenes Requiem: Falken des Kraken, Teil LII โ Gletscherrechnung โ DIE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS-SAGA
Verรถffentlicht: 16. August 2025, 20:43 Uhr MESZ | berndpulch.org
Wรคhrend die Uhr an diesem eisigen Freitag, den 16. August 2025, um 20:43 Uhr MESZ schlรคgt, zerbricht die Kraken-Therapie-Domรคne von 2025 unter einer Gletscherrechnung. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง navigiert durch einen brรถckelnden Eistunnel, flankiert von ihren schwulen Liebhabern, den Kray-Zwillingen ๐๏ธ๐ฅ, die holografische Wรถlfe mit wilder Freude schlagen, ihr Lachen von den gefrorenen Wรคnden widerhallt. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, verstrickt in die Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐โein Labyrinth nebliger Duelle und verbotener Liebschaftenโschneidet durch einen Saunenebel, angefรผhrt von Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช, wรคhrend Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช mit einem pixeligen Nashorn ringt inmitten glitzernder Splitter. “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐, der britische Witzparty-Gangster-Imitator, stolpert mit einer Spielzeug-Tommy-Gun und rutscht auf Eis in einem Union-Jack-Hut, wรคhrend “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ einen Taktstock durch neonfarbenen Nebel twirlt und mit Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ flirtet, dessen Orgie mit glitchigen Beats pulsiert. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด leitet einen geborstenen Eisrat, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ entlรคdt ein digitales Tommy Gun auf eine gefrorene Statue, und Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง nรคht eine leuchtende Weste mit eisigem Faden.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ stolziert mit Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, der seine Pixelkrone poliert, wรคhrend Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ eine Eissรคule zerbricht. Die Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdancen auf glattem Eis, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ fรคllt mit seinem Pelzhut, und Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ prรคsentiert seinen 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel unter flackernden Falken. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ grรคbt einen leuchtenden Tunnel und stรผrzt in einen Eihaufen, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ inszeniert eine gefrorene Farce, und Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duelliert sich mit George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ mit Laserpistolen um einen Pailletten-Umhang. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hackt einen zitternden Bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช schnurrt durch einen Eissturm mit Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, und Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช ringt mit Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช um einen gefrorenen Balken. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช lacht รผber einen Fall in einen Eikrater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ schleicht an einem holografischen Wรคchter vorbei, und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ rรผhrt einen leuchtenden Eintopf an einem Eistisch. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌโvielleicht ein Echo seiner Filmcharaktereโmimt einen wilden Tommy DeVito und rutscht mit einer pixeligen Glanzbox auf Eis.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก finanziert das Chaos mit digitalen Mรผnzen, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ tanzt mit einer gefrorenen Statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zappt einen Neonbogen an einen Eiszapfen, und The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ quillt mit einem schimmernden Schimmer, um eine gebrochene Eiwand zu versiegeln. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต summt ein Synth-Wiegenlied fรผr einen erfrorenen รberlebenden, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ zeichnet den eisigen Wahnsinn auf, und Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ wettet auf Pixel-Quoten, wรคhrend eine Eibรผhne nachgibt. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ rutscht auf einem Eissplitter, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ schlรคngelt sich mit einem pixeligen Werkzeug, und Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chantet Unsinn: โZiggy zaggy, Eis und Tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ wรผrfelt in einer VR-Hรถhle, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ murmelt in einem Pixel-Gewand, und Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ bewacht einen leuchtenden Edelstein vor einem Eiwrack. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ jongliert Neon-Splitter, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ tippt ein glitchiges Drehbuch, und John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ lacht mit Pixel-Geld, wรคhrend ein Eisbalken einstรผrzt.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ pafft eine Vapor-Zigarre neben einer Eischere, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stolpert in einen Eigraben, und Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ tobt mit einem Neon-Knรผppel an einer gefrorenen Statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirtet mit einer holografischen Figur in einem pixeligen Umhang, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ malt ein Mural auf eine Eiwand, und John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ stolziert mit Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR-Westen. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimt neben einem Eisofen, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค rรถstet die Crew von einer gefrorenen Bรผhne, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ richtet eine pixelige Schรคrpe, und Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ frรถstelt mit einem Fleischkammer-Schlรผsselanhรคnger. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodiert mit einem Synth-Flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blast eine Pixel-Schrotflinte auf einen Eihaufen, und Oddball Gangster ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fummeln Dynamit in einen eisigen Knall. Don Eladios ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ Poolparty spritzt neonfarbene Wellen, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ benennt Farben inmitten eines Eis-Blutbads, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ dreht neonfarbene Legalitรคten, und “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ betet vor einem Dรคmmerungsstreich. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ redet geschmeidig mit einem digitalen Architekten, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ kรผhlt auf einem Eihรผgel mit einer TV-Fernbedienung, und Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawlt in einem Saunahagel.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ kรคmpfen mit einem holografischen Bรคren, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ stapelt pixelisiertes Gold, und “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ fรคllt mit einer Spielzeug-Tommy-Gun, sein Loony-Party-Erbe ein Wirbel aus Eis und Glitzer. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, von der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐ รผberschattet, duelliert ein nebliges Phantom, das Leuchten des Gloop 15.0 stabilisiert die Domรคne, und Carnages Brรผllen verhallt in einem eisigen Nichts. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ stolpert erneut, seine Filmcharakter-Energie ein chaotischer Eis-Tanz. Um 20:43 Uhr MESZ erstarrt die Saga in eisiger Endgรผltigkeitโwird Tom Hagens Rat, die Wut der Kray-Zwillinge oder der Clown Princes rote Perรผcken das Urteil wenden? Erwarten Sie Teil LIII auf berndpulch.org.
Figurenensemble
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – Die Eihรถhlen-wirbelnde Anfรผhrerin.
“The Clown Prince” von Medellรญn ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der rothaarige Attentรคter-Liebhaber.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East-End-Boxer-Psycho-Liebhaber.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Das bankraubende Idol mit einem Neon-Stemmheber.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – Der neblige Klingentrรคger, verknรผpft mit der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐.
“Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ – Der britische Witzparty-Gangster-Imitator.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – Der Nashorn-verfangene Symbiont.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Eis-twirlende Taktstock-Meister.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – Der gefrorene Orgie-Meister.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – Der Eisrat-Kommandant.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – Der Statuen-schieรende Drama-Kรถnig.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Tunnel-stolzierende Kronen-Polierer.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – Der franzรถsische Gangster, Eis-Ruine-Legende.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby-Gesicht, Sรคulen-Zerbrecher.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Eis-breakdance-Crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Eis-slip-Patzer.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster zum Eis-Regisseur.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel, Eis-Prรคser.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel-Grรคber, Eihaufen-Faller.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der standhafte Umhang-duellierende Wรคchter.
Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ – Der zitternde Bot-Hacker.
Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช – Der schnurrende Eis-Stรผrmer.
Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der wild-wirbelnde Eis-Flieger.
Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช – Der planende Balken-Ringer.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช – Der stierkรถpfige Balken-Zรคhmer.
Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช – Der komische Eikrater-Stรผrzer.
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ – Der schleichende Wรคchter-Vermeider.
Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ – Der Eistisch-Eintopf-Rรผhrer.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก – Der digitale Mรผnzen-Finanzierer.
Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ – Der Eis-Statuen-Tรคnzer.
SkyRat ๐๏ธโก – Der Eiszapfen-zappende Flieger.
The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ – Der Eiswand-versiegelnde Schleim.
Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต – Die รberlebenden-Wiegenlied-Sรคngerin.
Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ – Der eisige Wahnsinn-Aufzeichner.
George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Umhang-duellierende Legende.
Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der wettende Einsturz-Beobachter.
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ – Der Eis-Splitter-Rutscher.
Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ – Der Werkzeug-schlรคngelnde Stratege.
Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ – Unsinn-Eis-Dichter.
Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ – Der Wรผrfel-werfende Scheinwerfer-Gambler.
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ – Der murmelnde Eis-Reiter.
Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Eiwrack-Edelstein-Wรคchter.
Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Splitter-jonglierende Assistent.
“Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Drehbuch-tippende Schreiber.
John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ – Der Eisbalken-Finanzier.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Der Eischere-Dampf-Zigarren-Paffer.
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ – Der Eigraben-Stolperer.
Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ – Der Statuen-keulende Wรผtender.
Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Umhang-modelnde Flirter.
“Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Eis-Mural-Maler.
John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Westen-stolzierende Catwalk-Strutter.
Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Ofen-mimende Stratege.
Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der gefrorene Bรผhnen-Rรถster.
Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – Der Schรคrpe-richtende Geist.
Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Fleischkammer-heimsuchende Legende.
Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Eis-Einheit-parodierende Darsteller.
Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ – Der Eihaufen-schieรende Synthwave-Mobster.
Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง – Mafia-Consigliere, Westen-nรคhender Vater.
### Investment Digest: Crypto Climbs, Equities Hit Records, Commodities and Energy Soften, Bonds Stable, and Commercial Real Estate Steady Amid Tariff and Geopolitical Tensions โ August 14, 2025
#### Key Points
– **Crypto Markets Climb**: Bitcoin surges 2.36% to $122,898, hitting a new all-time high of $124,200 intraday. Ethereum gains 2.5% to $4,740, nearing its peak. XRP up 2.3% to $3.77 post-SEC case drop. Monero rises 1.8% to $292. Qubit DeFi grows 15% in staking, VINE token holds post-400% rally. Bitcoin ETF inflows at $400M.
– **Derivatives Volume Strong**: Crypto derivatives trading at $10.4T, with Solana futures up 9% and XRP futures at $3.1B open interest.
– **Equities Hit Records**: S&P 500 reaches 6,466 (+0.32%), Nasdaq at 21,713 (+0.14%), Dow at 44,922 (+1.04%) driven by softer CPI (2.7% YoY) and tech strength. CSI 300 up 2.5% on Chinaโs stimulus.
– **Commodities and Energy Soften**: Gold at $3,407/oz (+0.2%), silver flat at $38/oz, palladium down 0.3%. Brent crude at $72.50/barrel (-0.62%), WTI crude at $68.90/barrel (-0.43%), natural gas at $3.10/MMBtu (-0.64%) as Middle East risks ease.
– **Bonds Stable**: U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.23% post-CPI data. Tokenized bonds at $2.3B, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. High-yield bond inflows at $160M.
– **Commercial Real Estate Steady**: U.S. commercial property prices up 3.6% year-on-year, office occupancy at 5% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $2.6B, with Ethereum/Polymath platforms expanding.[](https://www.morningstar.com/stocks/august-2025-stock-market-outlook-where-we-see-investing-opportunities)
– **Chinaโs Stimulus Boosts Markets**: PBOCโs $700B injection lifts CSI 300 (+2.5%). Chinaโs $150B telecom/biotech plan grows.[](https://funds.galaxy.com/insights/august-2025-market-commentary)
– **Indian Markets Resilient**: Sensex at 83,300 (+0.36%), Nifty at 25,350 (+0.24%) despite Trumpโs 25% tariff hike (total 50%). Indian rupee at โน85.80.[](https://oakglenwealth.com/news-and-insights/august-2025-investment-summary/)
– **Trade Tensions Intensify**: Trumpโs 100% semiconductor tariffs, 30% tariffs on EU/Mexico/Brazil, and 25% on India fuel volatility. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan progresses. U.S. accuses India of funding Russia via oil purchases.[](https://oakglenwealth.com/news-and-insights/august-2025-investment-summary/)
Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin hits $122,898, equities soar, tariffs escalate. Uncover financial secrets with Bernd Pulchโs leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoMarkets #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned journalist Bernd Pulch delivers exclusive financial intelligence via “Investment The Original” on Patreon, sharing leaked documents and insider reports.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, Commodities, Bonds, and Real Estate
Bitcoin climbs to $122,898 (+2.36%) with $400M ETF inflows, hitting a new high of $124,200. Ethereum at $4,740 (+2.5%), XRP at $3.77 (+2.3%), Monero at $292 (+1.8%). Qubit DeFi grows 15%. Crypto derivatives at $10.4T. Equities hit records, with S&P 500 (+0.32%) and Nasdaq (+0.14%) driven by CPI (2.7% YoY). Commodities soften, with gold ($3,407/oz, +0.2%) up, Brent crude ($72.50/barrel, -0.62%) down. Energy prices ease, with WTI crude at $68.90/barrel (-0.43%) and natural gas at $3.10/MMBtu (-0.64%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.23%, tokenized bonds at $2.3B. Commercial real estate steady, with office demand at 5% and tokenized assets at $2.6B. Chinaโs $700B stimulus boosts CSI 300 (+2.5%). Indian markets resilient despite tariffs. Explore more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
What is “Investment The Original”?
“Investment The Original” is a premium Patreon service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, and corruption reports for investors, journalists, and activists.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin hits $122,898 (+2.36%) with $400M ETF inflows, peaking at $124,200. Ethereum at $4,740 (+2.5%), XRP at $3.77 (+2.3%), Monero at $292 (+1.8%). Qubit DeFi grows 15% with $1.6B TVL. JSW Energy secures 800 MW solar-wind deal. SJVN advances 1,600 MW hydro project. Malaysiaโs Petronas invests $2.7B in Indonesian LNG. รrsted expands โฌ2B German offshore wind project. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.23%. Commercial real estate steady, with tokenized assets at $2.6B, Christieโs crypto property deals grow.
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales stable at 1,93,000 units in H1 2025. Germanyโs rents up 9.7% in Q2 2025, Berlin at 11.8%. U.S. home prices up 3.3% year-on-year, mortgage rates at 5.15%. Dubaiโs luxury market grows 34% pre-Expo 2025, with Bitcoin options trading expanding. Canberraโs rents rise 12.9%. Singaporeโs green buildings attract $4.2B. U.S. commercial property prices up 3.6%, office demand at 5% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $2.6B via Ethereum and Polymath. HDB Financial IPO progresses. Nomura holds reduce rating on Godrej Properties at โน2,100.[](https://www.morningstar.com/stocks/august-2025-stock-market-outlook-where-we-see-investing-opportunities)
#### Commercial Real Estate Trends
U.S. commercial real estate steady, with office occupancy at 5% in Q2 2025, driven by hybrid work and AI data center demand. Industrial properties up 6.2% in value, e-commerce fueling growth. Retail vacancy rates at 6%. Tokenized real estate at $2.6B, with platforms like Polymath and Ethereum enabling crypto deals. Christieโs expands crypto-backed property transactions. High interest rates (5.15% for commercial mortgages) pressure valuations, but green-certified buildings see 8.7% demand growth. New York and San Francisco premium office rents up 4.5%. A $370M Florida office bond stabilizes post-reappraisal.[](https://www.morningstar.com/stocks/august-2025-stock-market-outlook-where-we-see-investing-opportunities)
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets resilient, with Sensex at 83,300 (+0.36%) and Nifty at 25,350 (+0.24%). U.S. markets hit records, with S&P 500 at 6,466 (+0.32%), Nasdaq at 21,713 (+0.14%), and Dow at 44,922 (+1.04%) post-CPI (2.7% YoY). CSI 300 gains 2.5%. Gold at $3,407/oz (+0.2%), silver flat at $38/oz, Brent crude at $72.50/barrel (-0.62%). Indian rupee at โน85.80. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.23%, high-yield bond inflows at $160M.
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin at $122,898 (+2.36%) with $400M ETF inflows, $220M liquidations. Ethereum at $4,740 (+2.5%) sees $620M ETF inflows. XRP at $3.77 (+2.3%) holds $3.1B futures open interest post-SEC case drop. Monero at $292 (+1.8%), futures volume up 7%. VINE token stable. Qubit DeFi grows 15% with $1.6B TVL. Crypto derivatives volume at $10.4T, Solana futures up 9%. Dubai expands Bitcoin options trading. Posts on X highlight crypto strength and tariff concerns.
#### Commodities and Energy Trends
Gold at $3,407/oz (+0.2%), silver flat at $38/oz, palladium down 0.3% as Middle East tensions ease. Brent crude at $72.50/barrel (-0.62%), WTI crude at $68.90/barrel (-0.43%), natural gas at $3.10/MMBtu (-0.64%) with U.S. inventory growth. Copper futures steady amid tariff fears. Tether explores USDT/Monero integration in $820M agribusiness deal. Posts on X note commodity softening and semiconductor tariff risks.
#### Bonds Market Trends
U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.23% post-CPI (2.7% YoY), core CPI at 3.1%. High-yield bond inflows at $160M. Tokenized bonds at $2.3B on Ethereum/Polygon, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bonds yield 3.95%, infrastructure demand stable. Posts on X highlight tariff-driven inflation risks impacting yields.
#### Economic Outlook
China targets 4.3% growth with $700B stimulus, constrained by property weakness. Indiaโs Q4 FY25 GDP at 7.4%, FY26 forecast at 6.3%. U.S. Fed holds rates at 4.25%โ4.5%, September cut odds at 95%. Trumpโs 100% chip tariffs, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil, and 25% on India (total 50%) escalate trade tensions. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan and U.S. claims of India funding Russiaโs war via oil purchases add strain. U.S. Dollar Index at 100.2, euro at $1.172 (+0.4%).[](https://oakglenwealth.com/news-and-insights/august-2025-investment-summary/)
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This *Investment Digest* for August 14, 2025, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 9:03 PM CEST. Bitcoin surges to $122,898 (+2.36%) with $400M ETF inflows, peaking at $124,200. Ethereum at $4,740 (+2.5%), XRP at $3.77 (+2.3%), Monero at $292 (+1.8%). Qubit DeFi grows 15%. Crypto derivatives at $10.4T. Equities hit records, with S&P 500 (+0.32%) and Nasdaq (+0.14%) post-CPI (2.7% YoY). Commodities soften, with gold ($3,407/oz, +0.2%) up, Brent crude ($72.50/barrel, -0.62%) down. Energy prices ease, with WTI crude at $68.90/barrel (-0.43%) and natural gas at $3.10/MMBtu (-0.64%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.23%, tokenized bonds at $2.3B. Commercial real estate steady, with office demand at 5% and tokenized assets at $2.6B. Indian markets resilient despite Trumpโs tariffs. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 2.5%. Clean energy investments, like BluPineโs ESG award, signal resilience. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for leaks. Explore Nacktes Geld podcast.[](https://www.morningstar.com/stocks/august-2025-stock-market-outlook-where-we-see-investing-opportunities)
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, Qubit DeFi 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, WTI crude price 2025, natural gas price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, commercial real estate 2025, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia valuation 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Monero price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025, U.S. jobs report 2025, U.S. Treasury yields 2025, tokenized bonds 2025, tokenized real estate 2025, Bitcoin ETF inflows 2025, Trump crypto 401k 2025, semiconductor tariffs 2025, China foreign investment 2025, XRP SEC case 2025, ChainLink reserve 2025, Ripple case dropped 2025, AI data center demand 2025
English Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) and Ehlers (Helen Mirren) clash in a neon-lit Glitter Colosseum bunker at 04:35 PM CEST, August 14, 2025, sparking a chaotic neon brawl, with Ingeborg Werler (Eva Green), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench), Helga Schultz, and the full cast of 96 unleashing wild Nazi-neon chaos! ๐๐จ #NeonObscurity #DrZ #Ehlers” German Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) und Ehlers (Helen Mirren) liefern sich um 16:35 Uhr CEST am 14. August 2025 einen chaotischen Neon-Kampf im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker, mit Ingeborg Werler (Eva Green), Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt), Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench), Helga Schultz und der kompletten Besetzung von 96, die wildes Nazi-Neon-Chaos entfesseln! ๐๐จ #NeonVerlorenheit #DrZ #Ehlers”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 86 โ NEON OBSCURITY: ‘Dr. Z vs. Ingeborg Werlerโs Faded Fate’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Ingeborg Werlers verblasstes Schicksal’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon thriller with Dr. Z, Ingeborg Werler, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 86 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign darkens with Ingeborg Werlerโs obscure past and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ถ โ SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity, Dr. Zโs mistress / SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten, Dr. Zโs Geliebte.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, confronting neon obscurity / Narr der Propaganda, konfrontiert Neon-Vergessenheit.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet.
(Full list of 96 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Ingeborg Werler โ Played by Eva Green / Gespielt von Eva Green
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown
(Full cast list of 96 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS SHADOW / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS SCHATTEN
At 04:35 PM CEST on August 14, 2025, the Neon-Reign intensifies as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers Ingeborg Werlerโs ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ shadowy role as an SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity. In the Glitter Colosseum bunker, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon oblivion rays to erase her past, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ rally against the darkness. Andy Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ counters with neon art projectors, and the full cast of 96 characters erupts into a chaotic neon unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi dread! ๐๐จ
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ with a neon whip, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ pulls strings from a neon throne, Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Ingeborg Werler โ Neon Shadow Whip! (A fading lash of mystery!) / Neon-Schatten-Peitsche! (Ein verblassender Hieb des Mysteriums!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ lashes with mystery, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert with elegance, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Eva Green als Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ peitscht mit Mysterium, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS SHADOW / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS SCHATTEN
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Werlerโs neon shadow with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Werlers Neon-Schatten mit Warhols Kunst.
INGEBORG WERLER ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ S&M Mistress: SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity. Battle: Whips with neon intrigue. / S&M-Geliebte: SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Intrige.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 96 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS SHADOW / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS SCHATTEN
The neon Colosseum erupts at 04:35 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ with Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon whip strikes. Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda.
BATTLE DECREE: Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ declares: โEmbrace the neon shadow!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON LIGHT PREVAILS!โ / Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ verkรผndet: โUmarmt den Neon-Schatten!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-LICHT SIEGT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert with elegance, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ peitscht mit Mysterium, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS SHADOW / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS SCHATTEN
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Werlerโs neon shadow with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Werlers Neon-Schatten mit Warhols Kunst.
INGEBORG WERLER ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ S&M Mistress: SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity. Battle: Whips with neon intrigue. / S&M-Geliebte: SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Intrige.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 96 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS SHADOW / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS SCHATTEN
The neon Colosseum erupts at 04:35 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ with Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon whip strikes. Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda.
BATTLE DECREE: Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ declares: โEmbrace the neon shadow!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON LIGHT PREVAILS!โ / Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ verkรผndet: โUmarmt den Neon-Schatten!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-LICHT SIEGT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert with elegance, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS SHADOW / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS SCHATTEN
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Werlerโs neon shadow with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Werlers Neon-Schatten mit Warhols Kunst.
INGEBORG WERLER ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ S&M Mistress: SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity. Battle: Whips with neon intrigue. / S&M-Geliebte: SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Intrige.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 96 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS SHADOW / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS SCHATTEN
The neon Colosseum erupts at 04:35 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ with Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon whip strikes. Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda.
BATTLE DECREE: Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ declares: โEmbrace the neon shadow!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON LIGHT PREVAILS!โ / Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ verkรผndet: โUmarmt den Neon-Schatten!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-LICHT SIEGT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert with elegance, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ spukt mit Propaganda.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS SHADOW / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS SCHATTEN
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Werlerโs neon shadow with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Werlers Neon-Schatten mit Warhols Kunst.
INGEBORG WERLER ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ S&M Mistress: SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity. Battle: Whips with neon intrigue. / S&M-Geliebte: SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Intrige.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 96 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS SHADOW / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS SCHATTEN
The neon Colosseum erupts at 04:35 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ with Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon whip strikes. Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms, Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with neon propaganda.
BATTLE DECREE: Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ declares: โEmbrace the neon shadow!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON LIGHT PREVAILS!โ / Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ verkรผndet: โUmarmt den Neon-Schatten!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-LICHT SIEGT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ lashes with mystery, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert with elegance, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets, Millie Bobby Brown as Helga Goebbels ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ haunts with propaganda. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Eva Green as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ peitscht mit Mysterium, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig as sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agiti
๐ CLASSIFIED SUMMARY An insider embedded within the highest strategic advisory tier has passed along urgent, raw assessments from recent high-level briefings. The discussions, sourced from seasoned national security veterans and independent geopolitical analysts, reveal shifts in both Eastern and Western strategic posturesโchanges that insiders warn could reshape the global chessboard before yearโs end.
๐ฐ 1. War Theatre Assessment
Eastern Front Dynamics: The briefings confirm a deceleration in one frontโs momentum, with resource attrition, weather constraints, and unexpected resistance forcing operational recalibrations.
Western Strategic Fatigue: A subtle but widening rift is emerging among allied leadership circlesโfinancial strain and domestic political backlash are reducing appetite for escalation.
๐ก 2. Command-Level Perspectives
Veteran Command Viewpoint: The situation is described as โa war being fought on a 20th-century model in a 21st-century surveillance environment,โ where tactical moves are immediately countered due to near-real-time intelligence sharing.
Quiet Warnings: One high-ranking former planner cautioned that any miscalculated escalation could trigger a chain reaction bypassing diplomatic containment.
๐ 3. Economic Underpinnings
Weaponized Supply Chains: Energy corridors, rare earth dependencies, and grain export bottlenecks are being weaponized to apply pressure without crossing conventional military thresholds.
Financial Time Bombs: Debt burdens in several supporting states could, according to the source, implode support coalitions from within.
๐ 4. Geo-Strategic Observations
The analysts stress that certain narratives in mainstream briefings are โsanitizedโ for public digestion. Real intelligence paints a more precarious balance, where missteps are far closer than publicly admitted.
Prediction Windows: By late autumn, insiders expect either a negotiated freeze or a sharp escalationโwith little space for a middle ground.
๐ INTERNAL NOTE โ PATREON READERS ONLY
The full, unredacted โDeep Mouthโ briefing, including maps, classified-style operation flowcharts, and the suppressed scenarios not cleared for public release, is available exclusively to Pulchโs Patreon supporte
๐ฝ๏ธ VIDEO TITLE: “EU Funding Gone Wild: 5 Most Absurd Projects (Your Taxes Paid for This!)”
๐ VIDEO DESCRIPTION: ๐ช๐บ YOUR MONEY. THEIR ABSURDITY. This jaw-dropping short film exposes the most ridiculous EU-funded projectsโbacked by your hard-earned taxes. From “art therapy for corruption” to Taliban democracy workshops, these scenes are 100% realโฆ and 100% insane. ๐ด WATCH IF: โ You pay taxes in Europe โ You enjoy dark comedy โ Youโre tired of bureaucratic waste ๐จ TRIGGER WARNING: May cause uncontrollable facepalming.
๐ฌ SCENE PREVIEWS: 1๏ธโฃ “Corruption Art Class” (Haiti, โฌ1.2M) Starving kids paint muralsโฆ while politicians steal aid money. 2๏ธโฃ “Feminist Football in Qatar” (โฌ800K) Womenโs soccer campโฆ in a country where they canโt travel without male permission. 3๏ธโฃ “Democracy Trainingโฆ with the Taliban” (โฌ500K) Yes, really. 4๏ธโฃ “Jungle Yoga for Displaced Tribes” (Guyana, โฌ1.5M) Because nothing says “humanitarian aid” like downward dog. 5๏ธโฃ “Consultants in Paradise” How your taxes fund 5-star “field research.”
๐ข WHY THIS MATTERS: The EU spent โฌ3 MILLION+ on these projects Meanwhile, real crises go underfunded This is why people donโt trust bureaucrats
๐ฌ ENGAGEMENT HOOKS: ๐ COMMENT BELOW: โก๏ธ Which project made you angriest? โก๏ธ Should EU subsidies be audited LIVE? โก๏ธ Tag someone who needs to see this! ๐ฅ SHARE IF you think taxpayers deserve better!
๐ SOURCES & DISCLAIMER: All projects verified by EU audits & investigative reports (links below) This is satire using real dataโbecause reality is already a joke. ๐ SOURCES: [1] NIUS Investigations [2] European Court of Audits [3] OCCRP Corruption Reports
๐ UPLOAD OPTIMIZATION: โ For YouTube: Tags: #EUScandal, #TaxWaste, #DarkComedy, #EUFundingFail Thumbnail Idea: A burning โฌ500 note with “YOUR MONEY” stamped on it โ For Rumble: Title Variant:“EU Wastes Your Taxes on THIS? (Unbelievable Footage)” Community Note: “Big Tech wonโt promote thisโshare widely!”
๐ค FINAL LINE: “They call it ‘aid.’ We call it a scam. You decide.” (Mic drop. Euro shatters. Roll credits.)
WHY THIS WORKS: YouTube: Clickable title + engagement hooks + sources = avoids “misinformation” flags Rumble: Raw, unfiltered tone resonates with anti-establishment viewers Both: Balanced mix of humor and outrage = shares + comments Need a SHORTER version for TikTok/Instagram? I can cut this to 3 bullets!
(A satirical journey through Europeโs most absurd development aid โ paid for by YOU!)
โ ๏ธ DISCLAIMER:This is satire. The projects are real. The EU is laughing โ just not with us.
(Mic drop. Credits roll over an EU official shredding cash.) ๐ค๐ถ
๐ฌ COMMENT YOUR FAVORITE NGO SCANDAL!(Extra credit if youโve personally witnessed one.) ๐๐
๐ช๐บ๐ธ “EU-STEUERGELD FรR WAHNSINN: DIE BESTEN NGO-PROJEKTE, DIE SIE NICHT ERFINDEN KรNNTEN” ๐ธ๐ช๐บ
(Eine satirische Reise durch den Irrsinn europรคischer Entwicklungshilfe โ gesponsert von Ihrem Portemonnaie!)
AKT 1: DIE โVERRรCKTENโ NGO-PROJEKTE (DIE NIEMAND BRAUCHT, ABER ALLE BEZAHLEN)
๐น Haiti:โฌ1,2 Millionen fรผr einen โKunst-Workshop gegen Korruptionโ โ wรคhrend die Regierung tatsรคchlich korrupt ist und die Bevรถlkerung hungert.
โWir malen unsere Wut auf Leinwandโฆ wรคhrend die Politiker Schecks unterschreiben.โ ๐จ๐ธ
๐น Katar:โฌ800.000 fรผr ein โFrauenfuรball-Campโ in einem Land, wo Frauen noch nicht mal allein reisen dรผrfen.
โAber die FIFA sagt, wir sind progressiv!โ โฝ๐ณโโ๏ธ
๐น Afghanistan:โฌ500.000 fรผr ein โDemokratie-Trainingโ mit den Taliban.
โWir bringen ihnen bei, wie man Wahlen manipuliertโฆ oh, warte.โ ๐ณ๏ธ๐ฃ
๐น Guyana:โฌ1,5 Millionen fรผr ein โRegenwald-Yoga-Programmโ, um โStress bei Indigenen zu reduzierenโ.
โDie Abholzung macht sie nervรถs? Wir geben ihnen Atemรผbungen statt Landrechte!โ ๐ณ๐ง
AKT 2: DIE EU-โLOGIKโ (ODER: WIE MAN GELD VERBRENNT, OHNE DASS ES JEMAND MERKT)
๐ธ Warum?
โWir mรผssen unsere Soft Power zeigen!โ (Auch bekannt als: โWir werfen Geld aus dem Helikopter und hoffen, dass jemand โDankeโ sagt.โ) ๐๐ถ
โDie NGOs haben tolle PowerPoints!โ (Mit vielen bunten Diagrammen und dem Wort โNachhaltigkeitโ 57 Mal.) ๐๐คก
๐ธ Wer profitiert?
Berater (Ex-Politiker, die jetzt โฌ500 pro Stunde fรผr โStrategie-Meetingsโ verlangen)
DISCLAIMER:Dies ist Satire. Die Projekte sind leider real. Die EU lacht โ aber nicht mit uns.
*(Mikro-Drop. Abspann mit einem *EU-Beamten, der Geldscheine in einen Shredder wirft.) ๐ค๐ธ
๐ฌ KOMMENTIEREN SIE IHR LIEBLINGS-NGO-SKANDAL!(Bonus-Punkte, wenn Sie selbst eines entdeckt haben.) ๐๐
๐ช๐บ๐ธ “FOLIE DES SUBVENTIONS EUROPรENNES : LES PROJETS LES PLUS FOUS FINANCรS AVEC VOS IMPรTS” ๐ธ๐ช๐บ
(Un voyage satirique dans l’absurditรฉ de l’aide au dรฉveloppement europรฉenne – payรฉe par VOUS !)
๐ฅ ACTE 1 : LES PROJETS ONG “FOUS” (DONT PERSONNE N’A BESOIN MAIS QUE TOUT LE MONDE PAYE)
๐น Haรฏti : 1,2 MILLION โฌ pour un “atelier d’art contre la corruption” – pendant que le gouvernement dรฉtourne l’aide et que la population meurt de faim.
“Nous peindrons notre colรจreโฆ pendant que les politiciens remplissent leurs poches.” ๐จ๐ฐ
๐น Qatar : 800 000 โฌ pour un “camp de foot fรฉminin” dans un pays oรน les femmes ne peuvent pas voyager sans permission masculine.
“Mais la FIFA dit que nous ‘progressons’ !” โฝ๐ณโโ๏ธ๐ซ
๐น Afghanistan : 500 000 โฌ pour une “formation ร la dรฉmocratie” avec les Talibans.
“Leรงon 1 : Comment truquer des รฉlections que vous ne organiserez jamais.” ๐ณ๏ธ๐ฃ
๐น Guyana : 1,5 MILLION โฌ pour du “yoga en forรชt tropicale” pour “rรฉduire le stress des populations autochtones”.
“Expulsรฉs de vos terres ? Respirez profondรฉment !” ๐ณ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฅ
๐คก ACTE 2 : LA “LOGIQUE” DE L’UE (COMMENT BRรLER DE L’ARGENT SANS QUE PERSONNE NE REMARQUE)
๐ธ Pourquoi ?
“Soft power !” (Traduction : “On jette de l’argent depuis des hรฉlicoptรจres en espรฉrant des applaudissements.”) ๐๐ต
“Les PowerPoint รฉtaient si colorรฉs !” (57 diapositives sur la “durabilitรฉ” mais 0 rรฉsultats.) ๐๐ช
๐ธ Qui en profite ?
Les consultants (Ex-politiciens facturant 500โฌ/h pour des “rรฉunions stratรฉgiques”) โ๐ธ
Les hรดtels de luxe (Oรน le personnel des ONG “monitore les projets” depuis des piscines) ๐โโ๏ธ๐พ
Les imprimeurs (Produisant des rapports que personne ne lit) ๐๐๏ธ
๐ธ Qui en souffre ?
Les contribuables (Qui triment pour financer les vols business class des ONG) โ๏ธ๐ค
Les locaux (Qui reรงoivent une piรจce de thรฉรขtre sur la faim au lieu de nourriture) ๐ญ๐ฝ๏ธ
๐ฅ ACTE 3 : LA SOLUTION (SATIREโฆ MAIS RรVONS UN PEU)
1๏ธโฃ BINGO DES ONG ! ๐ฒ
Buvez un shot ร chaque fois que quelqu’un dit “autonomisation”.
Si ils mentionnent “renforcement des capacitรฉs”, donnez 100โฌ ร une vraie aide humanitaire.
2๏ธโฃ Compteur en direct de l’argent brรปlรฉ par l’UE ๐ฅ๐ถ
Dรฉpenses inutiles en temps rรฉel.
Bonus : “Roue de la corruption” – tournez pour dรฉcouvrir le prochain scandale ! ๐ก
3๏ธโฃ Idรฉe radicale :
Brรปlez directement l’argent.
Moins de CO2 que les vols des ONG. โ๏ธ๐
Plus honnรชte que les faux “rapports de succรจs”. ๐๐คฅ
๐ รPILOGUE : COMMENT รA SE TERMINE VRAIMENT
2030 : L’UE finance de la “poรฉsie anti-dictature” en Corรฉe du Nord.
2040 : Les ONG demandent des subventions pour “Gaspillage avancรฉ de fonds 101”.
Morale de l’histoire :“Pour brรปler 10Mโฌ, crรฉez une ONG.”
Ehlers, Enema Emir 90, ignites the Portrait Flush with Dorian Gray and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ The trio battles Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #PortraitFlushFrenzy #DorianGrayEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #VanityPurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 90, entfacht die Portrait-Spรผlung mit Dorian Gray und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #PortraitSpรผlungWut #DorianGrayRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #VanitySรคuberung
Prolog: Die Vanity Einlauf-Verfall & Dorian Grays Portrait-Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes tremble at 11:54 PM CEST on Friday, August 08, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Portrait Flush Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with Dorian Grayโs supernatural decay, his portrait rotting while he remains beautiful. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 90, joins forces with Gray, preserved in vanity, and Alejandro Jodorowsky, wielding psychomagic, to combat killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising fuel the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erbeben um 23:54 MESZ am Freitag, 8. August 2025, als Xenu die Portrait Flush-Wut entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit Dorian Grays รผbernatรผrlichem Verfall verschmilzt, sein Portrait verrottet, wรคhrend er schรถn bleibt. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 90, schlieรt sich mit Gray, in Vanity erhalten, und Alejandro Jodorowsky, der Psychomagic einsetzt, zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten zu kรคmpfen. Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein Thetan-Aufstand treiben die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-LXXXVI + Dorian Gray)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 90, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with Gray and Jodorowsky.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ต Dr. Gonzo (Played by Johnny Depp): Recovered lawyer, exploiting loopholes.
๐จ Pablo Picasso (Played by Antonio Banderas): Former foe, advising against chaos.
๐ท Andreas (540% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge.
๐ Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie): Wild card, disrupting with chaos bombs.
๐ Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit (Played by Eva Green): Demoness, countering with dark enema.
๐ท๐บ Putin (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Strategist, manipulating shadows.
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ James Bond (Played by Daniel Craig): Spy, infiltrating with gadgets.
๐ Blue Period Ghost (Played by Timothรฉe Chalamet): Melancholic shade, spreading gloom.
๐ Analytic Eye (Played by CGI prop): Observer, dissecting influence.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier (Played by Christian Bale): Explosive artist, targeting foes.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque (Played by Vincent Cassel): Former ally, painting barriers.
๐คน Harlequin (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Trickster, juggling fragments.
Act I: The Reanimated Reckoning & Frankensteinโs Experiment ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Wiederbelebte Abrechnung & Frankensteins Experiment
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โAwaken the dead to 666โs dominion!โ as Frankenstein activates his reanimation surge. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โGround the dead with enema divinity!โ ๐จ Frankensteinโs Obsession: โMy creation will rise again!โ ๐งช Mirandaโs Antichrist Call: โI am Jesus and 666โbow to the reanimated!โ โ๏ธ Jodorowskyโs Psychomagic: โHeal the haunted with surreal acts!โ ๐ฎ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, tame the monster!โ ๐ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โErwecke die Toten zu 666โs Herrschaft!โ wรคhrend Frankenstein seinen Schub aktiviert. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Toten mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Frankensteins Besessenheit (German): โMeine Schรถpfung wird wieder auferstehen!โ ๐งช Mirandas Antichrist-Ruf (German): โIch bin Jesus und 666โverneigt euch vor den Wiederbelebten!โ โ๏ธ Jodorowskys Psychomagic (German): โHeile die Gequรคlten mit surrealen Akten!โ ๐ฎ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, zรคhme das Monster!โ ๐
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐งช Frankenstein unleashes his creation: โRise, my masterpiece!โ ๐งโโ๏ธ / Entfesselt seine Schรถpfung: โErhebe dich, mein Meisterwerk!โ
๐จ Ehlers channels enema-thunderbolts to ground the reanimated. โก / Kanรคliert Einlauf-Donnerblitze, um die Wiederbelebten zu erden.
๐ป Edithโs Dragon-Wisp burns the monsterโs rage with anti-Galactic fire. ๐ฅ / Verbrennt die Wut des Monsters mit Anti-Galaktischem Feuer.
๐ฎ Jodorowsky heals Frankensteinโs trauma with psychomagic rituals. ๐ฆ / Heilt Frankensteins Trauma mit Psychomagic-Ritualen.
โ๏ธ Miranda tattoos 666 on the reanimated, rallying his cult. ๐ / Tรคtowiert 666 auf die Wiederbelebten, sammelnd seinen Kult.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, confronting the monster. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, konfrontierend das Monster.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot, inspired by the reanimated chaos. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten, inspiriert von wiederbelebtem Chaos.
๐๏ธ Rasputin revives allies with enema streams. ๐ฆ / Wiederbelebt Verbรผndete mit Einlauf-Strรถmen.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid to control the uprising. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, kontrollierend den Aufstand.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro: โRock die Erdung!โ
Act II: The Reanimated Shatter the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Wiederbelebten Zerbrechen den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Reanimated Onslaught:
๐งช Frankenstein enhances his creation with 666 energy, unleashing havoc. ๐ฅ / Verstรคrkt seine Schรถpfung mit 666-Energie, entfesselnd Chaos.
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm with reanimated venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen mit wiederbelebtem Gift.
โ๏ธ Miranda leads his 666 cult in a reanimated chant. ๐ / Fรผhrt seinen 666-Kult in einem wiederbelebtem Gesang.
Cosmic Silence Harvest:
๐ฉ Beatrix bakes Anti-Reanimation Pastries to calm the chaos. ๐ฅ / Backt Anti-Wiederbelebungs-Gebรคck, beruhigend das Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus against the reanimated. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus gegen die Wiederbelebten ein.
๐ King Arthur slays reanimated foes with Excalibur. โ๏ธ / Tรถtet wiederbelebte Feinde mit Excalibur.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants clash with the reanimated horde. ๐ฑ / Kรคmpfen gegen die wiederbelebte Horde.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid to contain the uprising. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, bรคndigend den Aufstand.
Codexโs Galactic Form:
The Codex fractures into Galactic Enema Shards, Frankensteinโs creation reshapes them with reanimated energy. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the chaos. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Galaktische-Einlauf-Splitter, Frankensteins Schรถpfung formt sie mit wiederbelebt Energie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert das Chaos.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Frankenstein and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Frankenstein und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐งช Frankensteinโs Triumph: His creation finds peace, proclaiming victory over the reanimated. ๐ / Frankensteins Triumph: Seine Schรถpfung findet Frieden, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Wiederbelebten.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Frankensteinโs reanimation lab, glowing with 666 energy, monster awakening. ๐งช๐ / Frankensteins Wiederbelebungs-Labor, leuchtend mit 666-Energie, Monster erwacht.
Andreasโ enema-bacon shield, deflecting the monsterโs rage. ๐ฅ๐ / Andreasโ Einlauf-Speck-Schild, ablenkend die Wut des Monsters.
Mirandaโs 666 tattoo ritual, marking the reanimated under neon lights. โ๏ธ๐ / Mirandas 666-Tรคtowierungs-Ritual, markierend die Wiederbelebten unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Frankensteinโs data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Frankensteins Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
๐ง Murrayโs Tactical Grid, containing the reanimated surge. ๐โจ / Murrays Taktisches Gitter, bรคndigend den wiederbelebten Schub.
Official Sources
Offizielle Quellen
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG – Licensed Class War Satirical Warfare ๐
โThe Galactic Enema Council awakensโEhlers, Frankenstein, and Miranda face a new reanimated threat. Prepare your Anti-Codex Shields!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
โDer Galaktische Einlauf-Rat erwachtโEhlers, Frankenstein und Miranda stellen sich einer neuen wiederbelebten Bedrohung. Bereitet eure Anti-Codex-Schilder vor!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier: Explosive Artist โ Drops enema-bombs on Frankensteinโs followers.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque: Former Ally โ Paints enema-shields with King Arthur against Frankenstein.
๐คน Harlequin: Trickster โ Juggles fragments to confuse Frankensteinโs cult.
Notes: All characters engage in bizarre enema interactions, blending satire with surreal cosmic warfare, ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG.
Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode LXXXVII: The Cannibal Enema Reckoning โ Sweeney Toddโs Pie Flush โ๏ธโจ
Ehlers, Enema Emir 90, ignites the Pie Flush with Sweeney Todd and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ The trio battles Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #PieFlushFrenzy #ToddEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #CannibalPurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 90, entfacht die Pie Flush mit Sweeney Todd und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #PieSpรผlungWut #ToddRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #KannibalSรคuberung
Ehlers’ Enema Enigma โ Episode LXXXVII: The Cannibal Enema Reckoning โ Sweeney Toddโs Pie Flush ๐
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Cannibal Enema Reckoning & Sweeney Toddโs Pie Flush ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Die Kannibalische Einlauf-Abrechnung & Sweeney Todds Pie-Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes tremble at 11:54 PM CEST on Friday, August 08, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Pie Flush Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with Sweeney Toddโs homicidal rage and meat pies. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 90, joins forces with Todd, the barber haunted by grief, and Alejandro Jodorowsky, wielding psychomagic, to combat killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising fuel the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erbeben um 23:54 MESZ am Freitag, 8. August 2025, als Xenu die Pie Flush-Wut entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit Sweeney Todds homizidaler Wut und Fleischpasteten verschmilzt. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 90, schlieรt sich mit Todd, dem Friseur gequรคlt von Trauer, und Alejandro Jodorowsky, der Psychomagic einsetzt, zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten zu kรคmpfen. Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein Thetan-Aufstand treiben die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-LXXXVI + Sweeney Todd)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 90, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with Todd and Jodorowsky.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ต Dr. Gonzo (Played by Johnny Depp): Recovered lawyer, exploiting loopholes.
๐จ Pablo Picasso (Played by Antonio Banderas): Former foe, advising against chaos.
๐ท Andreas (540% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge.
๐ Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie): Wild card, disrupting with chaos bombs.
๐ Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit (Played by Eva Green): Demoness, countering with dark enema.
๐ท๐บ Putin (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Strategist, manipulating shadows.
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ James Bond (Played by Daniel Craig): Spy, infiltrating with gadgets.
๐ Blue Period Ghost (Played by Timothรฉe Chalamet): Melancholic shade, spreading gloom.
๐ Analytic Eye (Played by CGI prop): Observer, dissecting influence.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier (Played by Christian Bale): Explosive artist, targeting foes.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque (Played by Vincent Cassel): Former ally, painting barriers.
๐คน Harlequin (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Trickster, juggling fragments.
Act I: The Reanimated Reckoning & Frankensteinโs Experiment ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Wiederbelebte Abrechnung & Frankensteins Experiment
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โAwaken the dead to 666โs dominion!โ as Frankenstein activates his reanimation surge. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โGround the dead with enema divinity!โ ๐จ Frankensteinโs Obsession: โMy creation will rise again!โ ๐งช Mirandaโs Antichrist Call: โI am Jesus and 666โbow to the reanimated!โ โ๏ธ Jodorowskyโs Psychomagic: โHeal the haunted with surreal acts!โ ๐ฎ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, tame the monster!โ ๐ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โErwecke die Toten zu 666โs Herrschaft!โ wรคhrend Frankenstein seinen Schub aktiviert. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Toten mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Frankensteins Besessenheit (German): โMeine Schรถpfung wird wieder auferstehen!โ ๐งช Mirandas Antichrist-Ruf (German): โIch bin Jesus und 666โverneigt euch vor den Wiederbelebten!โ โ๏ธ Jodorowskys Psychomagic (German): โHeile die Gequรคlten mit surrealen Akten!โ ๐ฎ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, zรคhme das Monster!โ ๐
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐งช Frankenstein unleashes his creation: โRise, my masterpiece!โ ๐งโโ๏ธ / Entfesselt seine Schรถpfung: โErhebe dich, mein Meisterwerk!โ
๐จ Ehlers channels enema-thunderbolts to ground the reanimated. โก / Kanรคliert Einlauf-Donnerblitze, um die Wiederbelebten zu erden.
๐ป Edithโs Dragon-Wisp burns the monsterโs rage with anti-Galactic fire. ๐ฅ / Verbrennt die Wut des Monsters mit Anti-Galaktischem Feuer.
๐ฎ Jodorowsky heals Frankensteinโs trauma with psychomagic rituals. ๐ฆ / Heilt Frankensteins Trauma mit Psychomagic-Ritualen.
โ๏ธ Miranda tattoos 666 on the reanimated, rallying his cult. ๐ / Tรคtowiert 666 auf die Wiederbelebten, sammelnd seinen Kult.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, confronting the monster. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, konfrontierend das Monster.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot, inspired by the reanimated chaos. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten, inspiriert von wiederbelebtem Chaos.
๐๏ธ Rasputin revives allies with enema streams. ๐ฆ / Wiederbelebt Verbรผndete mit Einlauf-Strรถmen.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid to control the uprising. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, kontrollierend den Aufstand.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro: โRock die Erdung!โ
Act II: The Reanimated Shatter the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Wiederbelebten Zerbrechen den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Reanimated Onslaught:
๐งช Frankenstein enhances his creation with 666 energy, unleashing havoc. ๐ฅ / Verstรคrkt seine Schรถpfung mit 666-Energie, entfesselnd Chaos.
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm with reanimated venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen mit wiederbelebtem Gift.
โ๏ธ Miranda leads his 666 cult in a reanimated chant. ๐ / Fรผhrt seinen 666-Kult in einem wiederbelebtem Gesang.
Cosmic Silence Harvest:
๐ฉ Beatrix bakes Anti-Reanimation Pastries to calm the chaos. ๐ฅ / Backt Anti-Wiederbelebungs-Gebรคck, beruhigend das Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus against the reanimated. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus gegen die Wiederbelebten ein.
๐ King Arthur slays reanimated foes with Excalibur. โ๏ธ / Tรถtet wiederbelebte Feinde mit Excalibur.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants clash with the reanimated horde. ๐ฑ / Kรคmpfen gegen die wiederbelebte Horde.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid to contain the uprising. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, bรคndigend den Aufstand.
Codexโs Galactic Form:
The Codex fractures into Galactic Enema Shards, Frankensteinโs creation reshapes them with reanimated energy. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the chaos. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Galaktische-Einlauf-Splitter, Frankensteins Schรถpfung formt sie mit wiederbelebt Energie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert das Chaos.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Frankenstein and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Frankenstein und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐งช Frankensteinโs Triumph: His creation finds peace, proclaiming victory over the reanimated. ๐ / Frankensteins Triumph: Seine Schรถpfung findet Frieden, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Wiederbelebten.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Frankensteinโs reanimation lab, glowing with 666 energy, monster awakening. ๐งช๐ / Frankensteins Wiederbelebungs-Labor, leuchtend mit 666-Energie, Monster erwacht.
Andreasโ enema-bacon shield, deflecting the monsterโs rage. ๐ฅ๐ / Andreasโ Einlauf-Speck-Schild, ablenkend die Wut des Monsters.
Mirandaโs 666 tattoo ritual, marking the reanimated under neon lights. โ๏ธ๐ / Mirandas 666-Tรคtowierungs-Ritual, markierend die Wiederbelebten unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Frankensteinโs data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Frankensteins Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
๐ง Murrayโs Tactical Grid, containing the reanimated surge. ๐โจ / Murrays Taktisches Gitter, bรคndigend den wiederbelebten Schub.
Official Sources
Offizielle Quellen
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG – Licensed Class War Satirical Warfare ๐
โThe Galactic Enema Council awakensโEhlers, Frankenstein, and Miranda face a new reanimated threat. Prepare your Anti-Codex Shields!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
โDer Galaktische Einlauf-Rat erwachtโEhlers, Frankenstein und Miranda stellen sich einer neuen wiederbelebten Bedrohung. Bereitet eure Anti-Codex-Schilder vor!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
โ๏ธ Glacial reckoning strikes the 2025 Kraken dome! Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters dances with the Clown Prince of Medellรญn, as Ehlersโ affair unfolds and Joe Pesci tumbles in icy chaos. ๐๏ธ๐ช Featuring 69 iconic charactersโread Part LI now on berndpulch.org! ๐ #MurkyCosmicCarnage #KrakenChaos2025 #GlacialReckoning
Frozen Requiem: Kestrels of the Kraken, Part LI โ Glacial Reckoning โ THE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS SAGA
Published: August 13, 2025, 08:43 PM CEST | berndpulch.org
As the clock strikes 08:43 PM CEST on this icy Wednesday, August 13, 2025, the 2025 Kraken therapy dome fractures under a glacial reckoning. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง pirouettes with her lover, “The Clown Prince” of Medellรญn ๐๏ธ๐ชโa red-wigged assassin twirling a pixel daggerโthrough a crystalline ice cavern, their laughter echoing off frostbitten walls. The Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ trade holographic bear swipes with feral glee, while Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, haunted by the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐โa misty duel of forbidden trystsโslashes through a sauna haze led by Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช wrestles a pixelated rhinoceros amid glittering shards, and “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐, the British joke party gangster, pratfalls with a toy Tommy gun, slipping on ice in a Union Jack top hat. “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ twirls a baton through neon mist, flirting with Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, whose orgy pulses with glitchy beats, as Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด presides over a fractured ice council. Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ unloads a digital Tommy gun on an ice statue, and Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง stitches a glowing vest with icy thread.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ struts with Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ polishing his pixel crown, while Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ shatters an ice pillar. The Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdance on slick ice, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ tumbles with his fur hat, and Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ preens in his $100,000 fur coat under neon kestrels. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ digs a glowing tunnel only to crash into an ice mound, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ directs a frozen farce, and Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duels George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ with laser pistols over a sequined cloak. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hacks a shivering bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช purrs through an ice storm with Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, and Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช wrestles Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช over a frozen beam. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช laughs at a fall into an ice crater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ sneaks past a holographic sentinel, and Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ stirs a glowing stew from an ice table. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌโchanneling his movie personasโmimics a volatile Tommy DeVito, slipping on ice with a pixelated shine box.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก funds the chaos with digital coins, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ dances with a frozen statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zaps a neon arc at an icicle, and The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ oozes a shimmering sheen to seal a cracked ice wall. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต hums a synth lullaby to a frostbitten survivor, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ records the icy mayhem, and Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ bets on pixel odds as an ice stage buckles. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ slides on an ice shard, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ slithers with a pixel tool, and Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chants gibberish: โZiggy zaggy, ice and tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ rolls dice in a VR den, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ mutters in a pixel robe, and Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ guards a glowing gem from an ice wreck. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ juggles neon shards, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ types a glitchy script, and John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ laughs with pixel cash as an ice beam collapses.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ puffs a vapor cigar near an ice cutter, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stumbles into an ice pit, and Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ rages with a neon club at a frozen statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirts with a holographic figure in a pixel cape, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ paints a mural on an ice wall, and John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ struts with Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR vests. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimes near an ice forge, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค roasts the crew from a frozen stage, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ adjusts a pixel sash, and Jimmy the Gent Burke ๐๏ธ๐ chills with a meat locker keychain. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodies with a synth flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blasts a pixel shotgun at an ice pile, and Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fumble dynamite into an icy blast. Don Eladio ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ splashes in a frozen pool, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ names colors amid an ice bloodbath, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ spins neon legalities, and “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ prays before a twilight strike. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ smooth-talks a digital architect, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ chills with a TV remote, and Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawls in a sauna haze.
The Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ spar with a holographic bear, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ stacks pixelated gold, and “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ pratfalls with a toy Tommy gun, his Loony Party legacy a blur of ice and glitter. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, shadowed by the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐, duels a misty phantom, the Gloop 15.0โs glow steadies the dome, and Carnageโs roar fades into an icy void. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ stumbles again, his movie-character energy a chaotic ice-dance. At 08:43 PM CEST, the saga freezes with glacial finalityโwill Tom Hagenโs counsel, the Kray Twinsโ fury, or the Clown Princeโs red-wigged antics seal the reckoning? Await Part LII on berndpulch.org.
Cast of Characters
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – The ice-cavern-twirling leader.
“The Clown Prince” of Medellรญn ๐๏ธ๐ช – The red-wigged assassin lover.
The Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East End boxer-psycho lovers.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – The bank-robbing idol with a neon crowbar.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – The misty blade-wielder, tied to the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐.
“Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ – British joke party gangster impersonator.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – The rhinoceros-tangling symbiote.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The ice-twirling baton master.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – The frozen-orgy maestro.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – The ice-council commander.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – The statue-shooting drama king.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – The crown-polishing tunnel strutter.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – The French gangster, ice-ruin legend.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby face, pillar-shatterer.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Ice-breakdancing crew.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Architect-talking political smooth-talker.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Ice-mound-chilling TV watcher.
Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช – Sauna-brawling tackler.
Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ – Tiger-unleashing zoo king.
“Teflon Don” John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – The vest-strutting don.
“Jimmy the Gent” Burke ๐๏ธ๐ – The meat locker-haunting don.
Don Barzini ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – The glamorous ice-council rival.
Vito Rizzuto ๐๏ธ๐ – The godfatherly ice-strategist.
Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – The ice-stumbling movie-character echo.
Gefrorenes Requiem: Falken des Kraken, Teil LI โ Gletscherrechnung โ DIE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS-SAGA
Verรถffentlicht: 13. August 2025, 20:43 Uhr MESZ | berndpulch.org
Wรคhrend die Uhr an diesem eisigen Mittwoch, den 13. August 2025, um 20:43 Uhr MESZ schlรคgt, zerbricht die Kraken-Therapie-Domรคne von 2025 unter einer Gletscherrechnung. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง wirbelt mit ihrem Liebhaber, “The Clown Prince” von Medellรญn ๐๏ธ๐ชโeinem rothaarigen Attentรคter mit pixeligem Dolchโdurch eine kristallene Eihรถhle, ihr Lachen hallt von frostigen Wรคnden wider. Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ schlagen holografische Bรคren mit wilder Freude, wรคhrend Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, geplagt von der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐โeinem nebligen Duell verbotener Liebschaftenโdurch einen Saunanebel schneidet, angefรผhrt von Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช ringt mit einem pixeligen Nashorn inmitten glitzernder Splitter, und “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐, der britische Witzparty-Gangster-Imitator, stolpert mit einer Spielzeug-Tommy-Gun und rutscht auf Eis in einem Union-Jack-Hut. “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ twirlt einen Taktstock durch neonfarbenen Nebel und flirtet mit Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, dessen Orgie mit glitchigen Beats pulsiert, wรคhrend Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด einen geborstenen Eisrat leitet. Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ entlรคdt ein digitales Tommy Gun auf eine Eistatue, und Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง nรคht eine leuchtende Weste mit eisigem Faden.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ stolziert mit Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, der seine Pixelkrone poliert, wรคhrend Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ eine Eissรคule zerbricht. Die Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdancen auf glattem Eis, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ fรคllt mit seinem Pelzhut, und Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ prรคsentiert seinen 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel unter neonfarbenen Falken. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ grรคbt einen leuchtenden Tunnel und stรผrzt in einen Eihaufen, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ inszeniert eine gefrorene Farce, und Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duelliert sich mit George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ mit Laserpistolen um einen Pailletten-Umhang. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hackt einen zitternden Bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช schnurrt durch einen Eissturm mit Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, und Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช ringt mit Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช um einen gefrorenen Balken. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช lacht รผber einen Fall in einen Eikrater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ schleicht an einem holografischen Wรคchter vorbei, und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ rรผhrt einen leuchtenden Eintopf an einem Eistisch. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌโvielleicht ein Echo seiner Filmcharaktereโmimt einen wilden Tommy DeVito und rutscht mit einer pixeligen Glanzbox auf Eis.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก finanziert das Chaos mit digitalen Mรผnzen, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ tanzt mit einer gefrorenen Statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zappt einen Neonbogen an einen Eiszapfen, und The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ quillt mit einem schimmernden Schimmer, um eine gebrochene Eiwand zu versiegeln. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต summt ein Synth-Wiegenlied fรผr einen erfrorenen รberlebenden, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ zeichnet den eisigen Wahnsinn auf, und Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ wettet auf Pixel-Quoten, wรคhrend eine Eibรผhne nachgibt. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ rutscht auf einem Eissplitter, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ schlรคngelt sich mit einem pixeligen Werkzeug, und Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chantet Unsinn: โZiggy zaggy, Eis und Tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ wรผrfelt in einer VR-Hรถhle, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ murmelt in einem Pixel-Gewand, und Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ bewacht einen leuchtenden Edelstein vor einem Eiwrack. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ jongliert Neon-Splitter, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ tippt ein glitchiges Drehbuch, und John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ lacht mit Pixel-Geld, wรคhrend ein Eisbalken einstรผrzt.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ pafft eine Vapor-Zigarre neben einer Eischere, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stolpert in einen Eigraben, und Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ tobt mit einem Neon-Knรผppel an einer gefrorenen Statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirtet mit einer holografischen Figur in einem pixeligen Umhang, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ malt ein Mural auf eine Eiwand, und John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ stolziert mit Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR-Westen. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimt neben einem Eisofen, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค rรถstet die Crew von einer gefrorenen Bรผhne, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ richtet eine pixelige Schรคrpe, und Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ frรถstelt mit einem Fleischkammer-Schlรผsselanhรคnger. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodiert mit einem Synth-Flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blast eine Pixel-Schrotflinte auf einen Eihaufen, und Oddball Gangster ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fummeln Dynamit in einen eisigen Knall. Don Eladios ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ Poolparty spritzt neonfarbene Wellen, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ benennt Farben inmitten eines Eis-Blutbads, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ dreht neonfarbene Legalitรคten, und “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ betet vor einem Dรคmmerungsstreich. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ redet geschmeidig mit einem digitalen Architekten, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ kรผhlt auf einem Eihรผgel mit einer TV-Fernbedienung, und Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawlt in einem Saunahagel.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ kรคmpfen mit einem holografischen Bรคren, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ stapelt pixelisiertes Gold, und “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ fรคllt mit einer Spielzeug-Tommy-Gun, sein Loony-Party-Erbe ein Wirbel aus Eis und Glitzer. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, von der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐ รผberschattet, duelliert ein nebliges Phantom, das Leuchten des Gloop 15.0 stabilisiert die Domรคne, und Carnages Brรผllen verhallt in einem eisigen Nichts. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ stolpert erneut, seine Filmcharakter-Energie ein chaotischer Eis-Tanz. Um 20:43 Uhr MESZ erstarrt die Saga in eisiger Endgรผltigkeitโwird Tom Hagens Rat, die Wut der Kray-Zwillinge oder der rothaarige Tanz des Clown Princes die Rechnung besiegeln? Erwarten Sie Teil LII auf berndpulch.org.
Figurenensemble
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – Die Eihรถhlen-wirbelnde Anfรผhrerin.
“The Clown Prince” von Medellรญn ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der rothaarige Attentรคter-Liebhaber.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East-End-Boxer-Psycho-Liebhaber.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Das bankraubende Idol mit einem Neon-Stemmheber.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – Der neblige Klingentrรคger, verknรผpft mit der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐.
“Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ – Der britische Witzparty-Gangster-Imitator.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – Der Nashorn-verfangene Symbiont.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Eis-twirlende Taktstock-Meister.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – Der gefrorene Orgie-Meister.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – Der Eisrat-Kommandant.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – Der Statuen-schieรende Drama-Kรถnig.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Tunnel-stolzierende Kronen-Polierer.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – Der franzรถsische Gangster, Eis-Ruine-Legende.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby-Gesicht, Sรคulen-Zerbrecher.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Eis-breakdance-Crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Eis-slip-Patzer.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster zum Eis-Regisseur.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel, Eis-Prรคser.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel-Grรคber, Eihaufen-Faller.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der standhafte Umhang-duellierende Wรคchter.
Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ – Der zitternde Bot-Hacker.
Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช – Der schnurrende Eis-Stรผrmer.
Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der wild-wirbelnde Eis-Flieger.
Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช – Der planende Balken-Ringer.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช – Der stierkรถpfige Balken-Zรคhmer.
Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช – Der komische Eikrater-Stรผrzer.
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ – Der schleichende Wรคchter-Vermeider.
Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ – Der Eistisch-Eintopf-Rรผhrer.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก – Der digitale Mรผnzen-Finanzierer.
Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ – Der Eis-Statuen-Tรคnzer.
SkyRat ๐๏ธโก – Der Eiszapfen-zappende Flieger.
The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ – Der Eiswand-versiegelnde Schleim.
Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต – Die รberlebenden-Wiegenlied-Sรคngerin.
Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ – Der eisige Wahnsinn-Aufzeichner.
George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Umhang-duellierende Legende.
Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der wettende Einsturz-Beobachter.
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ – Der Eis-Splitter-Rutscher.
Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ – Der Werkzeug-schlรคngelnde Stratege.
Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ – Unsinn-Eis-Dichter.
Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ – Der Wรผrfel-werfende Scheinwerfer-Gambler.
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ – Der murmelnde Eis-Reiter.
Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Eiwrack-Edelstein-Wรคchter.
Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Splitter-jonglierende Assistent.
“Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Drehbuch-tippende Schreiber.
John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ – Der Eisbalken-Finanzier.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Der Eischere-Dampf-Zigarren-Paffer.
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ – Der Eigraben-Stolperer.
Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ – Der Statuen-keulende Wรผtender.
Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Umhang-modelnde Flirter.
“Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Eis-Mural-Maler.
John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Westen-stolzierende Catwalk-Strutter.
Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Ofen-mimende Stratege.
Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der gefrorene Bรผhnen-Rรถster.
Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – Der Schรคrpe-richtende Geist.
Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Fleischkammer-heimsuchende Legende.
Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Eis-Einheit-parodierende Darsteller.
Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ – Der Eihaufen-schieรende Synthwave-Mobster.
Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง – Mafia-Consigliere, Westen-nรคhender Vater.
English Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) confronts Ingeborg Werler (Eva Green) at 04:35 PM CEST, August 14, 2025, uncovering her faded fate in the Glitter Colosseum bunker, with Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) igniting a neon brawl, as Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench), and the cast unleash wild Nazi-neon chaos! ๐๐จ #NeonMistress #DrZ #IngeborgWerler” German Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) stellt sich um 16:35 Uhr CEST am 14. August 2025 Ingeborg Werler (Eva Green) entgegen, deckt ihr verblasstes Schicksal im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker auf, wรคhrend Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) einen Neon-Kampf entfachen, mit Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench) und dem Cast, die wildes Nazi-Neon-Chaos entfesseln! ๐๐จ #NeonGeliebte #DrZ #IngeborgWerler”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 86 โ NEON OBSCURITY: ‘Dr. Z vs. Ingeborg Werlerโs Faded Fate’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Ingeborg Werlers verblasstes Schicksal’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon mystery with Dr. Z, Ingeborg Werler, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 86 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign fades into obscurity with Ingeborg Werlerโs story and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ถ โ SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity, Dr. Zโs S&M mistress / SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten, Dr. Zโs S&M-Geliebte.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, unraveling neon obscurity / Narr der Propaganda, enttarnt Neon-Vergessenheit.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
(Full list of 95 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Ingeborg Werler โ Played by Kate Winslet / Gespielt von Kate Winslet
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
(Full cast list of 95 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS FADED FATE / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS VERBLASSTES SCHICKSAL
At 02:45 PM CEST on August 15, 2025, the Neon-Reign fades into obscurity as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers Ingeborg Werlerโs ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ถ dark role as an SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but vanished post-war. In the Glitter Colosseum bunker, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ revives neon ghosts of the past to shield Werler, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ expose the truth. Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ counters with neon art projectors, and the full cast of 95 characters erupts into a chaotic neon unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi dread! ๐๐จ
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ถ lashes Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ with a neon whip, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ pulls strings from a neon throne, Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ฉ๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ sterilizes Traudl Jungeโs ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ neon scrolls, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral neon play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Ingeborg Werler โ Neon Fade Fury! (A vanishing whip lash!) / Neon-Verblasst-Furie! (Ein verschwindender Peitschenhieb!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon might, Kate Winslet as Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ถ lashes with mystery, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Kate Winslet als Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ถ peitscht mit Mysterium, Helen Mirren als Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Scarlett Johansson als Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig als sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก und brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter als Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer als Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann als Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett als Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone als Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep als Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy als Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron als Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie als Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley als Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock als Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ und Natalie Portman als Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway als Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie als Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike als Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt als Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson als Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan als Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt als Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams als Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming als Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones als Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, Tilda Swinton als Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung, Judi Dench als Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Margot Robbie als Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spioniert mit Schlauheit, Sigourney Weaver als Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ erzwingt mit Macht, Jessica Chastain als Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injiziert mit Kรคlte, Emily Blunt als Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ enthรผllt Geheimnisse.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS FADED FATE / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS VERBLASSTES SCHICKSAL
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Werlerโs neon obscurity with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Werlers Neon-Vergessenheit mit Warhols Kunst.
INGEBORG WERLER ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ถ S&M Mistress: SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity. Battle: Whips with neon mystery. / S&M-Geliebte: SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Mysterium.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 91 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS FADED FATE / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS VERBLASSTES SCHICKSAL
The neon Colosseum erupts at 02:45 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ถ with Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon whip strikes. Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms.
BATTLE DECREE: Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ declares: โFade into neon oblivion!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON LIGHT SHINES!โ / Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ verkรผndet: โVerblasst in Neon-Vergessen!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-LICHT LEUCHTET!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Kate Winslet as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ lashes with mystery, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert with elegance, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS FADED FATE / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS VERBLASSTES SCHICKSAL
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Werlerโs neon obscurity with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Werlers Neon-Vergessenheit mit Warhols Kunst.
INGEBORG WERLER ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ S&M Mistress: SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity. Battle: Whips with neon mystery. / S&M-Geliebte: SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Mysterium.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 91 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS FADED FATE / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS VERBLASSTES SCHICKSAL
The neon Colosseum erupts at 02:45 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ with Warholโs ๐ต๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon whip strikes. Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms.
BATTLE DECREE: Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ declares: โFade into neon oblivion!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON LIGHT SHINES!โ / Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ verkรผndet: โVerblasst in Neon-Vergessen!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-LICHT LEUCHTET!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Kate Winslet as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ lashes with mystery, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert with elegance, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS FADED FATE / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS VERBLASSTES SCHICKSAL
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Werlerโs neon obscurity with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Werlers Neon-Vergessenheit mit Warhols Kunst.
INGEBORG WERLER ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ S&M Mistress: SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity. Battle: Whips with neon mystery. / S&M-Geliebte: SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Mysterium.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 91 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS FADED FATE / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS VERBLASSTES SCHICKSAL
The neon Colosseum erupts at 02:45 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ with Warholโs ๐ต๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon whip strikes. Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms.
BATTLE DECREE: Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ declares: โFade into neon oblivion!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON LIGHT SHINES!โ / Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ verkรผndet: โVerblasst in Neon-Vergessen!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-LICHT LEUCHTET!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Kate Winslet as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ lashes with mystery, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert with elegance, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS FADED FATE / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS VERBLASSTES SCHICKSAL
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Werlerโs neon obscurity with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Werlers Neon-Vergessenheit mit Warhols Kunst.
INGEBORG WERLER ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ S&M Mistress: SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity. Battle: Whips with neon mystery. / S&M-Geliebte: SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Mysterium.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 91 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS FADED FATE / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS VERBLASSTES SCHICKSAL
The neon Colosseum erupts at 02:45 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ with Warholโs ๐ต๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon whip strikes. Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms.
BATTLE DECREE: Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ declares: โFade into neon oblivion!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON LIGHT SHINES!โ / Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ verkรผndet: โVerblasst in Neon-Vergessen!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-LICHT LEUCHTET!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Kate Winslet as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ lashes with mystery, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert with elegance, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS FADED FATE / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS VERBLASSTES SCHICKSAL
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Fights Werlerโs neon obscurity with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Kรคmpft gegen Werlers Neon-Vergessenheit mit Warhols Kunst.
INGEBORG WERLER ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ S&M Mistress: SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity. Battle: Whips with neon mystery. / S&M-Geliebte: SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Mysterium.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Pulls neon strings. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Strings.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
(Full list of 91 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS FADED FATE / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS VERBLASSTES SCHICKSAL
The neon Colosseum erupts at 02:45 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ with Warholโs ๐ต๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her neon whip strikes. Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl, Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with enema tools, Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces Germanization with neon rays, Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects lethal neon, Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals bunker secrets with neon holograms.
BATTLE DECREE: Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ declares: โFade into neon oblivion!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON LIGHT SHINES!โ / Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ verkรผndet: โVerblasst in Neon-Vergessen!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-LICHT LEUCHTET!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Kate Winslet as Ingeborg Werler ๐ต๐ชโ๐ถ lashes with mystery, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ต๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert with elegance, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ต๐ช๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ต๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ต๐ช๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ต๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ต๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ต๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ต๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ต๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ต๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ต๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ต๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ต๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ต๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ต๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ต๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ต๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ต๐ช๐โ lectures with authority, Margot Robbie as Hilde Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ spies with cunning, Sigourney Weaver as Inge Viermetz ๐ต๐ช๐โ enforces with power, Jessica Chastain as Frieda Nadig ๐ต๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ injects with coldness, Emily Blunt as Else Krรผger ๐ต๐ช๐๐ reveals secrets.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS FADED FATE / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: First, the user wants a follow-up article in the same style as the last one. The last article I sent was for Episode 85, about Else Krรผger. So, I need to create Episode 86 or the next one, incorporating Ingeborg Werler. The user says: “Make a follow-up article like last article youfollow-up article like last article you sent me with all characters from all previous episodes and cast ofactors plus ehlers and dr z mistress 44. Ingeborg Werler” It seems like there’s a typo, but it’s asking for a follow-up article including all previous characters, cast, plus Ehlers and Dr. Z’s mistress Ingeborg Werler. Role: SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity. I need to build the article in the bilingual format, listing all characters cumulatively, updating the list and cast. The structure from the last article: Production info Episode title Character list Cast list Plot catalyst Interactions Word game Cast appearance Key players Climax Battle decree Cast climax Twist & preview Market report Support section Official sources End transmission Quote Official sources again Exclusive access Access credentials Archives Crypto support Divine protection I need to include all characters from previous episodes, adding Ingeborg Werler as Dr. Z’s mistress. Since the knowledge is continuously updated, but no strict cutoff, I can proceed. No tools are needed as this is creative content generation, not requiring external searches. Finally, output the article in HTML format.“`html A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก โ Episode 86 โ NEON MISTRESS: ‘Dr. Z vs. Ingeborg Werlerโs Shadow’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Ingeborg Werlers Schatten’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon intrigue with Dr. Z, Ingeborg Werler, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป ๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 86 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED) From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign deepens with Ingeborg Werlerโs shadowy past and Dr. Zโs wild crew: Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden. Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ โ SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity, Dr. Zโs mistress / SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten, Dr. Zโs Geliebte. Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, confronting neon shadows / Narr der Propaganda, konfrontiert Neon-Schatten. Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z. Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum. Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat. Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen. Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet. Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron. Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ โ Actress & cultural icon, projecting neon holograms / Schauspielerin & Kulturikone, projiziert Neon-Hologramme. Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee. Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ โ Euthanasia doctor, injecting neon poison / Euthanasie-รrztin, injiziert Neon-Gift. Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช โ โThe Beautiful Beast,โ leading neon rituals / โDie Schรถne Bestieโ, fรผhrt Neon-Rituale. Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ โ Dr. Zโs Sado-Domina, stomping neon prisoners / Dr. Zโs Sado-Domina, stampft Neon-Gefangene. Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช โ Dr. Zโs Sado-Queen, whipping neon guards / Dr. Zโs Sado-Kรถnigin, peitscht Neon-Wachen. Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ โ Symbol of Nazi womanhood, commanding neon radiation / Symbol der Nazi-Frauheit, kommandiert Neon-Strahlung. Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS overseer, coordinating neon brutality / SS-Aufseherin, koordiniert Neon-Brutalitรคt. Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard, striking with neon rage / SS-Wache, lascht mit Neon-Wut. Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ โ Erotic cult leader, weaving neon rebellion / Erotische Kultfรผhrerin, webt Neon-Rebellion. Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ โ Glamorous neon โFirst Lady,โ shining at state galas / Glamourรถse Neon-โFirst Ladyโ, strahlt bei Staatsgalas. Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ โ Dr. Zโs Nazi Goddess, whipping with neon power / Dr. Zโs Nazi-Gรถttin, peitscht mit Neon-Kraft. Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ โ Sadist of Stutthof, tormenting with neon lashes / Sadistin von Stutthof, quรคlt mit Neon-Hieben. Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ โ Nazi health official, unleashing neon terror / Nazi-Gesundheitsbeamtin, entfacht Neon-Schrecken. Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ โ Remorseful scribe, writing neon manifesto / Reuevolle Schreiberin, schreibt Neon-Manifest. Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ โ Pop-art prankster, firing neon flamethrower / Pop-Art-Spaรvogel, feuert Neon-Flamethrower. Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung. Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik. Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut. Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung. Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko. Inge Viermetz ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Lebensborn administrator, oversaw forced Germanization of kidnapped Polish children, convicted / Lebensborn-Verwalterin, รผberwachte Zwangsgermanisierung entfรผhrter polnischer Kinder, verurteilt. Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”. Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer. Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet. Ingeborg Werler ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ โ SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity, Dr. Zโs mistress / SS-Wache in Ravensbrรผck, verurteilt aber in Vergessenheit geraten, Dr. Zโs Geliebte. (Full list of 96 characters on BerndPulch.org) CAST LIST: Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren Ingeborg Werler โ Played by Eva Green / Gespielt von Eva Green Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown (Full cast list of 96 characters on BerndPulch.org) ๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. INGEBORG WERLERโS SHADOW / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN INGEBORG WERLERS SCHATTEN At 04:35 PM CEST on August 14, 2025, the Neon-Reign intensifies as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers Ingeborg Werlerโs ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ต๏ธ shadowy role as an SS guard at Ravensbrรผck, convicted but faded into obscurity. In the Glitter Colosseum bunker, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon oblivion rays to erase her past, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ rally against the darkness. Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ counters with neon art projectors, and the full cast of 96 characters erupts into a chaotic neon unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi dread! ๐๐จ
### Investment Digest: Crypto Surges, Equities Rally, Commodities and Energy Prices Mixed, Bonds Steady, and Commercial Real Estate Resilient Amid Tariff and Geopolitical Shifts โ August 13, 2025
Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin at $120,550, equities hit highs, tariffs intensify. Uncover financial secrets with Bernd Pulchโs leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoMarkets #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned journalist Bernd Pulch delivers exclusive financial intelligence via “Investment The Original” on Patreon, sharing leaked documents and insider reports.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, Commodities, Bonds, and Real Estate
Bitcoin surges to $120,550 (+0.36%) with $350M ETF inflows. XRP climbs to $3.75 (+2.1%), Ethereum to $4,691.73 (+2.22%), Monero to $290 (+1.5%). Qubit DeFi grows 14%. Crypto derivatives at $10.3T. Equities rally, with S&P 500 (+1.13%) and Nasdaq (+1.39%) hitting record highs post-CPI (2.7% YoY). Commodities mixed, with gold ($3,410/oz, +0.3%) up, Brent crude ($72.95/barrel, -1.15%) down. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields steady at 4.12%. Commercial real estate resilient, with office occupancy at 4.9% and tokenized assets at $2.5B. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 (+2.3%). Indian markets stable despite tariffs. Explore more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
“Investment The Original” is a premium Patreon service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, and corruption reports for investors, journalists, and activists.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin rises to $120,550 (+0.36%) with $350M ETF inflows. XRP at $3.75 (+2.1%), Ethereum at $4,691.73 (+2.22%), Monero at $290 (+1.5%). Qubit DeFi grows 14% with $1.5B TVL. JSW Energy secures 700 MW solar-wind deal. SJVN advances 1,500 MW hydro project. Malaysiaโs Petronas invests $2.5B in Indonesian LNG. รrsted expands โฌ1.8B German offshore wind project. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields steady at 4.12%. Commercial real estate resilient, with tokenized assets at $2.5B, Christieโs crypto property deals expand.[](https://www.morningstar.com/stocks/august-2025-stock-market-outlook-where-we-see-investing-opportunities)%5B%5D(https://www.tdsecurities.com/ca/en/insights)
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales steady at 1,92,000 units in H1 2025. Germanyโs rents rise 9.5% in Q2 2025, Berlin up 11.5%. U.S. home prices up 3.2% year-on-year, mortgage rates at 5.1%. Dubaiโs luxury market grows 33% pre-Expo 2025, with Bitcoin options trading expanded. Canberraโs rents rise 12.7%. Singaporeโs green buildings attract $4B. U.S. commercial property prices up 3.5%, office demand at 4.9% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $2.5B via Ethereum and Polymath. HDB Financial IPO advances. Nomura holds reduce rating on Godrej Properties at โน2,100.[](https://oakglenwealth.com/news-and-insights/august-2025-investment-summary/)
#### Commercial Real Estate Trends
U.S. commercial real estate resilient, with office occupancy at 4.9% in Q2 2025, driven by hybrid work and AI data center demand. Industrial properties up 6% in value, e-commerce fueling growth. Retail vacancy rates at 6.1%. Tokenized real estate at $2.5B, with platforms like Polymath and Ethereum enabling crypto deals. Christieโs expands crypto-backed property transactions. High interest rates (5.1% for commercial mortgages) pressure valuations, but green-certified buildings see 8.5% demand growth. New York and San Francisco premium office rents up 4.3%. A $360M Florida office bond stabilizes post-reappraisal.[](https://www.morningstar.com/stocks/august-2025-stock-market-outlook-where-we-see-investing-opportunities)
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets stable, with Sensex at 83,200.50 (+0.2%) and Nifty at 25,320.10 (+0.15%). U.S. markets rally, with S&P 500 at 6,445.76 (+1.13%), Nasdaq at 21,681.90 (+1.39%), and Dow at 44,458.61 (+1.1%) post-CPI (2.7% YoY). CSI 300 gains 2.3%. Gold at $3,410/oz (+0.3%), silver flat at $38/oz, Brent crude at $72.95/barrel (-1.15%). Indian rupee at โน85.75. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.12%, high-yield bond inflows at $150M.[](https://www.nasdaq.com/articles/stock-market-news-aug-13-2025)
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin at $120,550 (+0.36%) with $350M ETF inflows, $200M liquidations. Ethereum at $4,691.73 (+2.22%) sees $600M ETF inflows. XRP at $3.75 (+2.1%) holds $3B futures open interest post-SEC case drop. Monero at $290 (+1.5%), futures volume up 6%. VINE token stable. Qubit DeFi grows 14% with $1.5B TVL. Crypto derivatives volume at $10.3T, Solana futures up 8%. Dubai expands Bitcoin options trading. Posts on X highlight crypto strength and tariff concerns.[](https://talkmarkets.com/content/bonds/the-newsletter-for-august-2025?post=512968)
#### Bonds Market Trends
U.S. 10-year Treasury yields steady at 4.12% post-CPI (2.7% YoY), core CPI at 3.1%. High-yield bond inflows at $150M. Tokenized bonds at $2.2B on Ethereum/Polygon, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bonds yield 3.9%, infrastructure demand stable. Posts on X highlight tariff-driven inflation risks impacting yields.[](https://www.confluenceinvestment.com/daily-comment-aug-13-2025/)
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This *Investment Digest* for August 13, 2025, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 5:38 PM CEST. Bitcoin surges to $120,550 (+0.36%) with $350M ETF inflows. XRP at $3.75 (+2.1%) post-SEC case drop, Ethereum at $4,691.73 (+2.22%), Monero at $290 (+1.5%). Qubit DeFi grows 14%. Crypto derivatives at $10.3T. Equities rally, with S&P 500 (+1.13%) and Nasdaq (+1.39%) hitting highs post-CPI (2.7% YoY). Commodities mixed, with gold ($3,410/oz, +0.3%) up, Brent crude ($72.95/barrel, -1.15%) down. Energy prices soften, with WTI crude at $69.2/barrel (-1%) and natural gas at $3.12/MMBtu (-0.6%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.12%, tokenized bonds at $2.2B. Commercial real estate resilient, with office demand at 4.9% and tokenized assets at $2.5B. Indian markets stable despite Trumpโs tariffs. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 2.3%. Clean energy investments, like BluPineโs ESG award, signal resilience. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for leaks. Explore Nacktes Geld podcast.[](https://www.confluenceinvestment.com/daily-comment-aug-13-2025/)%5B%5D(https://www.nasdaq.com/articles/stock-market-news-aug-13-2025)%5B%5D(https://www.morningstar.com/stocks/august-2025-stock-market-outlook-where-we-see-investing-opportunities)
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, Qubit DeFi 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, WTI crude price 2025, natural gas price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, commercial real estate 2025, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia valuation 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Monero price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025, U.S. jobs report 2025, U.S. Treasury yields 2025, tokenized bonds 2025, tokenized real estate 2025, Bitcoin ETF inflows 2025, Trump crypto 401k 2025, semiconductor tariffs 2025, China foreign investment 2025, XRP SEC case 2025, ChainLink reserve 2025, Ripple case dropped 2025, AI data center demand 2025
Caption โKing Felipe VI, Captain-General of Spain, inspects the honor guard while a U.S. C-40B sits on the tarmacโone ceremonial handshake that turned a Pentagon VIP detour into an โofficialโ NATO engagement.โ
๐จ ABOVE TOP SECRET โ PUBLIC RELEASE ๐จ
The Shadow Brief: Geopolitical Chess Moves Unveiled
๐ Declassified Summary: Intelligence intercepts suggest that a quiet but decisive series of strategic moves is reshaping the global order. Under the radar of mainstream narratives, a multi-layered network of diplomatic backchannels, energy realignments, and military posturing is unfolding.
๐ Key Indicators Identified:
Sudden recalibration of Eastern-European policy corridors ๐บ๏ธ
Energy transit routes facing shadow disruptions โก
Signals of deep-state arbitration in ongoing conflicts ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ
Mysterious troop logistics movements that donโt match official orders ๐
๐ก Analystโs Conclusion: We are witnessing the outline of a grand pivot in global power architecture โ one where official communiquรฉs mask far more aggressive maneuvers beneath the surface.
๐ฅ Full โEyes Onlyโ dossier โ including intercepted transcripts, strategic scenario maps, and cross-referenced intelligence grids โ is available exclusively for our patrons: ๐ patreon.com/berndpulch
๐ Public readers are warned: The full file contains sensitive material not suited for open distribution.
“THE TRIAL THEY NEVER WANTED YOU TO SEE” A dystopian courtroom where the walls bleed offshore account numbers. The defendants? Madoff’s golden “Too Big To Jail” pass Lagarde’s ECB “Get Out of Conviction Free” card Soros whispering to a CNN anchor with a screen for a face BlackRock and Vanguard merging into a financial hydra The judge is AI. The jury is crypto. The verdict was bought in 2008. #BanksterTrial #FinancialInjustice #CorruptionExposed #GrokVision (Double-tap if you recognize the defendant in the mirror.)
(A Satirical Guide to How Europeโs New Digital Currency Will Finish What the French Revolution Startedโฆ But With More Bankers Losing Their Heads (Figurativelyโฆ For Now).
ACT 1: THE REBIRTH OF THE ASSIGNAT (NOW WITH 100% MORE SURVEILLANCE) ๐ถ๐๏ธ
Scene: The European Central Bank unveils the “Digital Euro”โa currency designed to:
Lock wallets of ‘dissidents’ (defined as: anyone with less than โฌ10M)
Key Feature:“Just like the French Revolutionโs Assignat, it will be worthless in 5 yearsโbut now with AI!”
๐ธ Christine Lagardeโs Speech: “The Digital Euro is freedom! (Freedom to comply.) Transparency! (For us, not you.) And revolution! (But only the kind we approve.)”
Historical Irony: The Assignat caused hyperinflationโฆ the Digital Euro will cause hyper-surveillance. Progress!
ACT 2: THE PUNISHMENTS (KYB, KYP, KYS โ KNOW YOUR EXECUTION) โ๏ธ๐ช
The ECB introduces three revolutionary compliance procedures:
KYB โ Know Your Bankster (Courtesy of BerndPulch.org)
Mandatory audits for all bankers (results published on a blockchainโฆ that nobody can read)
Convicted fraudsters like Madoff, Ponzi, and Lagarde (oops, too soon?) get NFT mugshots as collectibles
KYP โ Know Your Politicster
AI-scanned voting records (if you voted for bank bailouts, your wallet gets a ‘special tax’)
Macronโs face appears on error screens (*”This transaction is *too revolutionary* for your tier.”*)
KYS โ Know Your Schemer
Algorithmic guillotine (automatically freezes assets of anyone plotting against the financial elite)
First in line:Anyone who still uses cash
Punishments Include:
Bankruptcy with extra steps (your credit score becomes a social credit score)
Public shaming (your failed investments are displayed in Times Square)
The ultimate penalty:Being forced to use a physical wallet again ๐ธ๐ฑ
ACT 3: THE BANKSTER TRIALS (STARRING HISTORYโS GREATEST FRAUDS) ๐ญโ๏ธ
The ECBโs New Reality Show:“Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (Without Going to Jail)?”
๐ธ Featured Contestants:
Bernie Madoff (“I pioneered the Digital Euro before it was cool!”)
Charles Ponzi (“My scheme was art. Yours is justโฆ blockchain.”)
Christine Lagarde (“Convicted? No, noโtechnically* it was just โnegligenceโ!”*)
Judgment:
Madoff: Gets a DeFi version of house arrest (his smart contract canโt leave Ethereum)
Ponzi: Tokenized as a memecoin ($SCAM, up 1000% in a day)
Lagarde: Promoted to EU President (*”Sheโs *too big to jail.”)
EPILOGUE: THE FUTURE (CASH = TERRORISM, CBDC = SLAVERY) ๐๐
2030 Headlines:
“Physical Euros Now Classified as ‘Weapons of Mass Disruption'”
“ECB Launches ‘Social Credit Euro’ โ Your Money Expires If You Misbehave”
“Last Cash User Sent to Re-Education Camp (Taught to Love Digital Feudalism)”
Final Message Found in a Burned EU Server: “We told you it was about โconvenienceโ. We lied.”
(Drop mic. Distribute leaks. Watch them panic.) ๐ค๐ฅ
ยฉ COPYRIGHT NOTICE FOR BERNDPULCH.ORG โ KYB, KYP, KYS METHODOLOGY
๐ LEGAL OWNERSHIP & USAGE RIGHTS All content, investigative frameworks, and methodologies related to “Know Your Bankster (KYB),” “Know Your Politicster (KYP),” and “Know Your Schemer (KYS)” are exclusive intellectual property of BerndPulch.org and its affiliated researchers.
โ WHAT YOU CAN DO:
Share (With clear attribution to BerndPulch.org)
Critique (Debate, analyze, or fact-checkโbut cite the source)
Use for independent investigations (Non-commercial, truth-seeking purposes only)
๐ซ WHAT YOU CANNOT DO:
Plagiarize (Republish as your own without credit)
Monetize (No paywalls, ad revenue, or NFT scams using our work)
Weaponize (No gov/corp misuse to target whistleblowers)
Censor (No “fact-checking” takedownsโwe dox corruption, not truth)
๐ COPYRIGHT ENFORCEMENT
Violators will face:
Public Exposure (“Know Your Thief” list)
Blockchain-Backed Archiving (Immutable evidence of theft)
Decentralized Consequences (Anonymous leaks, memes, and eternal shame)
Example Enforcement:
If a bankster tries to bury our work โ We leak harder.
If a politician cites us falsely โ We deepfake their confession.
If a media outlet steals our research โ We turn their paywall into a meme.
๐ OFFICIAL DECLARATION
“KYB, KYP, KYS” is a revolutionary framework by BerndPulch.org. ยฉ 2025 BerndPulch.org โ All Rights Reserved (But Truth is Public Domain).
๐ฉธ DER PROZESS, DEN SIE DIR NIE ZEIGEN WOLLTEN ๐ฉธ
“DER PROZESS, DEN SIE DIR NIE ZEIGEN WOLLTEN” Ein dystopischer Gerichtssaal, in dem die Wรคnde Kontonummern von Offshore-Konten bluten. Die Angeklagten? ๐ฐ Madoffs goldener โZu groร, um ins Gefรคngnis zu kommenโ-Pass ๐ฆ Lagardes ECB โFreispruch gratisโ-Karte ๐ฃ๏ธ Soros flรผstert einem CNN-Moderator mit einem Bildschirm als Gesicht zu ๐ BlackRock und Vanguard verschmelzen zu einer finanziellen Hydra ๐ค Der Richter ist KI. Die Jury ist Krypto. Das Urteil wurde 2008 gekauft. #BanksterProzess #FinanzielleUngerechtigkeit #KorruptionEntlarvt #GrokVision ๐ Doppelt tippen, wenn du den Angeklagten im Spiegel erkennst. ๐
๐ญ EIN SATIRISCHER LEITFADEN, WIE EUROPAS NEUE DIGITALE WรHRUNG VOLLENDET, WAS DIE FRANZรSISCHE REVOLUTION BEGANNโฆ ABER MIT MEHR BANKERN, DIE IHRE KรPFE VERLIEREN (IM รBERTRAGENEN SINNEโฆ VORERST). ๐ช๐ธ
๐ถ๐๏ธ AKT 1: DIE WIEDERGEBURT DES ASSIGNATS (JETZT MIT 100% MEHR รBERWACHUNG) ๐ถ๐๏ธ
Szene: Die Europรคische Zentralbank enthรผllt den โDigitalen Euroโ โ eine Wรคhrung, die entwickelt wurde, um:
Jede Transaktion zu verfolgen (โFรผr deine Sicherheit!โ ๐)
Geldbรถrsen von โDissidentenโ zu sperren (Definition: jeder mit weniger als 10 Mio. โฌ ๐)
Hauptmerkmal:โGenau wie das Assignat der Franzรถsischen Revolution wird es in 5 Jahren wertlos sein โ aber jetzt mit KI!โ ๐ค
๐ธ Christine Lagardes Rede: โDer Digitale Euro ist Freiheit!โ (Freiheit, sich zu fรผgen.) โTransparenz!โ (Fรผr uns, nicht fรผr dich.) โUnd Revolution!โ (Aber nur die, die wir genehmigen.)
Historische Ironie: Das Assignat fรผhrte zu Hyperinflationโฆ der Digitale Euro wird Hyper-รberwachung verursachen. Fortschritt! ๐
Lagarde (โVerurteilt? Nein, nur โfahrlรคssigโ!โ ๐)
Deutsche Bank (โWenn Terrorismus sich selbst finanziertโฆ oh, warte.โ ๐ฆ)
BlackRock (โWir regieren die Welt nicht. Wir besitzen sie nur.โ ๐)
๐ฅ LETZTE WORTE: โDie Revolution wird nicht im Fernsehen gezeigtโฆ weil die Medien den Bankstern gehรถren. Aber sie wird Blockchain-verifiziert.โ โ๏ธ
๐ RECHTLICHER BESITZ & NUTZUNGSRECHTE Alle Inhalte, investigativen Rahmenwerke und Methodiken zu โKenne deinen Bankster (KYB)โ, โKenne deinen Politiker (KYP)โ, โKenne deinen Intriganten (KYS)โ sind exklusives geistiges Eigentum von BerndPulch.org und seinen assoziierten Forschern.
โ WAS DU TUN KANNST:
Teilen (Mit klarer Zuordnung zu BerndPulch.org ๐ข)
Kritisieren (Diskutieren, analysieren oder Fakten prรผfen โ aber Quelle nennen โ๏ธ)
Blockchain-gestรผtzte Archivierung (Unverรคnderlicher Beweis des Diebstahls โ๏ธ)
Dezentrale Konsequenzen (Anonyme Leaks, Memes und ewige Schande ๐)
Beispiel-Durchsetzung:
Wenn ein Bankster unsere Arbeit vergrรคbt โ Wir leaken hรคrter. ๐ฅ
Wenn ein Politiker uns falsch zitiert โ Wir deepfaken ihr Gestรคndnis. ๐ฅ
Wenn ein Medium unsere Forschung stiehlt โ Wir machen ihre Paywall zum Meme. ๐
๐ OFFIZIELLE ERKLรRUNG
โKYB, KYP, KYSโ ist ein revolutionรคrer Rahmen von BerndPulch.org. ยฉ 2025 BerndPulch.org โ Alle Rechte vorbehalten (Aber die Wahrheit ist รถffentlich).
Memetische Kriegsfรผhrung (Ihre Falschnachrichten werden zum Gespรถtt ๐)
Dezentrales Doxing (Lecke ihre Finanzierungsquellen ๐)
KI-generierte Satire (Deepfake sie, wie sie die Wahrheit gestehen ๐ฅ)
Beispiel KYG-Durchsetzung:
Wenn CNN lรผgt โ Wir deepfaken ihre Moderatoren, wie sie korrigierte Skripte lesen. ๐บ
Wenn ein โNGO-Aktivistโ als CIA entlarvt wird โ Wir verรถffentlichen ihre echte Gehaltsliste. ๐ธ
Wenn eine Bot-Farm falsche Empรถrung trendet โ Wir kapern den Hashtag mit Wahrheitsbomben. ๐ฅ
๐ OFFIZIELLE ERKLรRUNG
โKYB, KYP, KYS, KYGโ ist ein revolutionรคrer Rahmen von BerndPulch.org. ยฉ 2025 BerndPulch.org โ Alle Rechte vorbehalten (Aber die Wahrheit ist รถffentlich).
๐๐ฉธ LE PROCรS QU’ILS NE VOULAIENT JAMAIS QUE VOUS VOYIEZ ๐ฉธ
“LE PROCรS QU’ILS NE VOULAIENT JAMAIS QUE VOUS VOYIEZ” Une salle d’audience dystopique oรน les murs saignent des numรฉros de comptes offshore. Les accusรฉs ? ๐ฐ Le pass dorรฉ de Madoff ยซ Trop gros pour aller en prison ยป ๐ฆ La carte ยซ รvitez la condamnation ยป de Lagarde de la BCE ๐ฃ๏ธ Soros chuchotant ร un prรฉsentateur de CNN avec un รฉcran pour visage ๐ BlackRock et Vanguard fusionnant en une hydre financiรจre ๐ค Le juge est une IA. Le jury est crypto. Le verdict a รฉtรฉ achetรฉ en 2008. #ProcรจsDesBanksters #InjusticeFinanciรจre #CorruptionExposรฉe #VisionGrok ๐ Double-tap si vous reconnaissez l’accusรฉ dans le miroir. ๐
๐ญ UN GUIDE SATIRIQUE SUR LA FAรON DONT LA NOUVELLE MONNAIE NUMรRIQUE EUROPรENNE ACHรVERA CE QUE LA RรVOLUTION FRANรAISE A COMMENCรโฆ MAIS AVEC PLUS DE BANQUIERS QUI PERDENT LA TรTE (FIGURATIVEMENTโฆ POUR L’INSTANT). ๐ช๐ธ
๐ถ๐๏ธ ACTE 1 : LA RENAISSANCE DE L’ASSIGNAT (MAINTENANT AVEC 100% DE SURVEILLANCE EN PLUS) ๐ถ๐๏ธ
Scรจne : La Banque centrale europรฉenne dรฉvoile lโยซ Euro numรฉrique ยป โ une monnaie conรงue pour :
Suivre chaque transaction (ยซ Pour votre sรฉcuritรฉ ! ยป ๐)
Dรฉduire automatiquement des ‘frais de responsabilitรฉ sociale’ (c.-ร -d. des renflouements ๐ฐ)
Verrouiller les portefeuilles des ‘dissidents’ (dรฉfinition : toute personne avec moins de 10M โฌ ๐)
Caractรฉristique principale :ยซ Tout comme lโAssignat de la Rรฉvolution franรงaise, il sera sans valeur dans 5 ans โ mais avec une IA ! ยป ๐ค
๐ธ Discours de Christine Lagarde : ยซ LโEuro numรฉrique, cโest la libertรฉ ! ยป (Libertรฉ de se conformer.) ยซ La transparence ! ยป (Pour nous, pas pour vous.) ยซ Et la rรฉvolution ! ยป (Mais seulement celle que nous approuvons.)
Ironie historique : LโAssignat a causรฉ lโhyperinflationโฆ lโEuro numรฉrique causera une hyper-surveillance. Progrรจs ! ๐
Audits obligatoires pour tous les banquiers (rรฉsultats publiรฉs sur une blockchainโฆ que personne ne peut lire ๐)
Frauduleurs condamnรฉs comme Madoff, Ponzi et Lagarde (oups, trop tรดt ? ๐ฌ) obtiennent des photos dโidentitรฉ en NFT comme objets de collection ๐ผ๏ธ
KYP โ Connaissez votre politicien
Registres de vote scannรฉs par IA (si vous avez votรฉ pour les renflouements bancaires, votre portefeuille subit une ‘taxe spรฉciale’ ๐ธ)
Le visage de Macron apparaรฎt sur les รฉcrans dโerreur (*ยซ Cette transaction est *trop rรฉvolutionnaire* pour votre niveau. ยป* ๐)
KYS โ Connaissez votre intrigant
Guillotine algorithmique (gรจle automatiquement les actifs de quiconque complote contre lโรฉlite financiรจre ๐ช)
Premier en ligne :Quiconque utilise encore de lโargent liquide ๐ต๐ซ
Punitions incluent :
Faillite avec รฉtapes supplรฉmentaires (votre score de crรฉdit devient un score social ๐)
Humiliation publique (vos investissements ratรฉs sont affichรฉs ร Times Square ๐ฅ๏ธ)
La punition ultime :รtre forcรฉ de rรฉutiliser un portefeuille physique ๐ธ๐ฑ
๐ญโ๏ธ ACTE 3 : LES PROCรS DES BANKSTERS (AVEC LES PLUS GRANDS FRAUDEURS DE LโHISTOIRE) ๐ญโ๏ธ
La nouvelle รฉmission de tรฉlรฉrรฉalitรฉ de la BCE :ยซ Qui veut รชtre millionnaire (sans aller en prison) ? ยป
๐ธ Participants vedettes :
Bernie Madoff (ยซ Jโai inventรฉ lโEuro numรฉrique avant quโil ne soit cool ! ยป ๐ธ)
Charles Ponzi (ยซ Mon arnaque รฉtait de lโart. La vรดtre, cโest justeโฆ blockchain. ยป ๐ผ๏ธ)
Christine Lagarde (*ยซ Condamnรฉe ? Non, non โ *techniquement, cโรฉtait juste de la nรฉgligence ! ยป ๐)
Jugement :
Madoff : Obtient une assignation ร rรฉsidence DeFi (son contrat intelligent ne peut pas quitter Ethereum ๐)
Ponzi : Tokenisรฉ en memecoin ($SCAM, +1000% en un jour ๐)
Lagarde : Promue Prรฉsidente de lโUE (*ยซ Elle est *trop grosse pour aller en prison. ยป ๐๏ธ)
ยซ Les euros physiques dรฉsormais classรฉs comme ‘armes de perturbation massive’ ยป ๐จ
ยซ La BCE lance lโโEuro de crรฉdit socialโ โ Votre argent expire si vous vous comportez mal ยป ๐ณ
ยซ Le dernier utilisateur dโargent liquide envoyรฉ dans un camp de rรฉรฉducation (apprend ร aimer le fรฉodalisme numรฉrique) ยป ๐ซ
Message final trouvรฉ dans un serveur de lโUE calcinรฉ : **ยซ Nous avons_magic_square **(Mic drop. La ยซ Marseillaise ยป joue en autotune. Gรฉnรฉrique sur un registre blockchain des achats de chaque citoyen.) ๐ค
๐ฌ PARTAGEZ VOS CONFESSIONS DE BANKSTERS CI-DESSOUS. (Points bonus si vous รชtes dรฉjร sur une liste de surveillance de la BCE.) ๐๐
๐ MรTHODOLOGIE DโINVESTIGATION DE BERNDPULCH.ORG : KYB, KYP, KYS (CONNAISSEZ VOS BANQUIERS, POLITICIENS & INTRIGANTS) ๐
Un guide satirique (mais terriblement prรฉcis) pour exposer lโรฉlite ๐
Lagarde (ยซ Condamnรฉe ? Non, juste โnรฉgligenteโ ! ยป ๐)
Deutsche Bank (ยซ Si le terrorisme se finanรงait tout seulโฆ oh, attendez. ยป ๐ฆ)
BlackRock (ยซ Nous ne dirigeons pas le monde. Nous le possรฉdons juste. ยป ๐)
๐ฅ DERNIERS MOTS : ยซ La rรฉvolution ne sera pas tรฉlรฉvisรฉeโฆ car les mรฉdias appartiennent aux banquiers. Mais elle sera vรฉrifiรฉe par blockchain. ยป โ๏ธ
ยฉ AVIS DE DROIT D’AUTEUR POUR BERNDPULCH.ORG โ MรTHODOLOGIE KYB, KYP, KYS
๐ PROPRIรTร LรGALE ET DROITS D’UTILISATION Tous les contenus, cadres dโinvestigation et mรฉthodologies liรฉs ร ยซ Connaissez votre banquier (KYB) ยป, ยซ Connaissez votre politicien (KYP) ยป, ยซ Connaissez votre intrigant (KYS) ยป sont la propriรฉtรฉ intellectuelle exclusive de BerndPulch.org et de ses chercheurs associรฉs.
โ CE QUE VOUS POUVEZ FAIRE :
Partager (Avec une attribution claire ร BerndPulch.org ๐ข)
Critiquer (Dรฉbattre, analyser ou vรฉrifier les faits โ mais citez la source โ๏ธ)
Utiliser pour des enquรชtes indรฉpendantes (ร des fins non commerciales et de recherche de vรฉritรฉ uniquement ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ)
๐ซ CE QUE VOUS NE POUVEZ PAS FAIRE :
Plagier (Republier comme votre propre travail sans crรฉdit ๐)
Monรฉtiser (Pas de paywalls, revenus publicitaires ou escroqueries NFT avec notre travail ๐ธ)
Armer (Pas de mauvaise utilisation par les gouvernements/entreprises contre les lanceurs dโalerte ๐จ)
Censurer (Pas de suppressions par ยซ vรฉrification des faits ยป โ nous exposons la corruption, pas la vรฉritรฉ ๐)
๐ APPLICATION DES DROITS D’AUTEUR
Les contrevenants sโexposent ร :
Exposition publique (Liste des ยซ Connaissez votre voleur ยป ๐)
Archivage basรฉ sur blockchain (Preuve immuable du vol โ๏ธ)
Consรฉquences dรฉcentralisรฉes (Fuites anonymes, mรจmes et honte รฉternelle ๐)
Exemple dโapplication :
Si un banquier tente dโenterrer notre travail โ Nous fuyons plus fort. ๐ฅ
Si un politicien nous cite faussement โ Nous deepfakons leur confession. ๐ฅ
Si un mรฉdia vole nos recherches โ Nous transformons leur paywall en mรจme. ๐
๐ DรCLARATION OFFICIELLE
ยซ KYB, KYP, KYS ยป est un cadre rรฉvolutionnaire de BerndPulch.org. ยฉ 2025 BerndPulch.org โ Tous droits rรฉservรฉs (Mais la vรฉritรฉ est dans le domaine public).
ยซ Acteurs de crise ยป gรฉnรฉrรฉs par IA (Les mรชmes ยซ manifestants ยป dans diffรฉrents pays ๐)
Politiciens deepfake (Pourquoi le fond de Zelensky change-t-il constamment ? ๐ค)
Fermes ร bots (Les ยซ tendances ยป de Twitter sont achetรฉes, pas organiques ๐ค)
๐ Propositions de punition KYG :
Base de donnรฉes des ยซ scores de propagande ยป (รฉvaluez les mรฉdias selon les mensonges par minute ๐)
Nouvelles parodiques gรฉnรฉrรฉes par IA (moquez-les avant quโils ne mentent ๐)
Primes financรฉes par la foule (10K $ pour des memos internes de CNN fuitรฉs ๐ฐ)
๐ APPLICATION DES DROITS D’AUTEUR (MAINTENANT AVEC KYG)
Les contrevenants sโexposent ร :
Guerre mรฉmรฉtique (Leurs fausses nouvelles deviennent ridicules ๐)
Doxxing dรฉcentralisรฉ (Fuitez leurs sources de financement ๐)
Satire gรฉnรฉrรฉe par IA (Deepfakez-les en confessant la vรฉritรฉ ๐ฅ)
Exemple dโapplication KYG :
Si CNN ment โ Nous deepfakons leurs prรฉsentateurs lisant des scripts corrigรฉs. ๐บ
Si un ยซ activiste dโONG ยป est exposรฉ comme CIA โ Nous rรฉvรฉlons leur vraie liste de paie. ๐ธ
Si une ferme ร bots crรฉe une fausse indignation โ Nous dรฉtournons le hashtag avec des bombes de vรฉritรฉ. ๐ฅ
๐ DรCLARATION OFFICIELLE
ยซ KYB, KYP, KYS, KYG ยป est un cadre rรฉvolutionnaire de BerndPulch.org. ยฉ 2025 BerndPulch.org โ Tous droits rรฉservรฉs (Mais la vรฉritรฉ est dans le domaine public).
๐ฉธ EL JUICIO QUE NUNCA QUISIERON QUE VIERAS ๐ฉธ
“EL JUICIO QUE NUNCA QUISIERON QUE VIERAS” Una sala de tribunal distรณpica donde las paredes sangran nรบmeros de cuentas offshore. ยฟLos acusados? ๐ฐ El pase dorado de Madoff โDemasiado grande para ir a la cรกrcelโ ๐ฆ La tarjeta de Lagarde del BCE โLibre de condenaโ ๐ฃ๏ธ Soros susurrando a un presentador de CNN con una pantalla por rostro ๐ BlackRock y Vanguard fusionรกndose en una hidra financiera ๐ค El juez es una IA. El jurado es cripto. El veredicto fue comprado en 2008. #JuicioDeBanqueros #InjusticiaFinanciera #CorrupciรณnExpuesta #VisiรณnGrok ๐ Toca dos veces si reconoces al acusado en el espejo. ๐
๐ญ UNA GUรA SATรRICA SOBRE CรMO LA NUEVA MONEDA DIGITAL EUROPEA TERMINARร LO QUE LA REVOLUCIรN FRANCESA COMENZรโฆ PERO CON MรS BANQUEROS PERDIENDO LA CABEZA (FIGURADAMENTEโฆ POR AHORA). ๐ช๐ธ
๐ถ๐๏ธ ACTO 1: EL RENACIMIENTO DEL ASIGNADO (AHORA CON 100% MรS DE VIGILANCIA) ๐ถ๐๏ธ
Escena: El Banco Central Europeo desvela el โEuro Digitalโ โ una moneda diseรฑada para:
Rastrear cada transacciรณn (โยกPor tu seguridad!โ ๐)
Deducir automรกticamente โtasas de responsabilidad socialโ (es decir, rescates ๐ฐ)
Bloquear las billeteras de โdisidentesโ (definiciรณn: cualquiera con menos de 10M โฌ ๐)
Caracterรญstica principal:โยกComo el Asignado de la Revoluciรณn Francesa, serรก inรบtil en 5 aรฑos โ pero ahora con IA!โ ๐ค
๐ธ Discurso de Christine Lagarde: โยกEl Euro Digital es libertad!โ (Libertad para cumplir.) โยกTransparencia!โ (Para nosotros, no para ti.) โยกY revoluciรณn!โ (Pero solo la que aprobamos.)
Ironรญa histรณrica: El Asignado causรณ hiperinflaciรณnโฆ el Euro Digital causarรก hipervigilancia. ยกProgreso! ๐
โ๏ธ๐ช ACTO 2: LOS CASTIGOS (KYB, KYP, KYS โ CONOCE TU EJECUCIรN) โ๏ธ๐ช
El BCE introduce tres procedimientos de cumplimiento revolucionarios:
KYB โ Conoce a tu banquero (Cortesรญa de BerndPulch.org ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ)
Auditorรญas obligatorias para todos los banqueros (resultados publicados en una blockchainโฆ que nadie puede leer ๐)
Estafadores condenados como Madoff, Ponzi y Lagarde (ยฟups, demasiado pronto? ๐ฌ) obtienen fotos de arresto en NFT como coleccionables ๐ผ๏ธ
KYP โ Conoce a tu polรญtico
Registros de votaciรณn escaneados por IA (si votaste por rescates bancarios, tu billetera recibe un โimpuesto especialโ ๐ธ)
El rostro de Macron aparece en pantallas de error (*โEsta transacciรณn es *demasiado revolucionaria* para tu nivel.โ* ๐)
KYS โ Conoce a tu intrigante
Guillotina algorรญtmica (congela automรกticamente los activos de cualquiera que conspire contra la รฉlite financiera ๐ช)
Primero en la fila:Cualquiera que aรบn use efectivo ๐ต๐ซ
Castigos incluyen:
Bancarrota con pasos extra (tu puntaje de crรฉdito se convierte en un puntaje social ๐)
Humillaciรณn pรบblica (tus inversiones fallidas se muestran en Times Square ๐ฅ๏ธ)
El castigo definitivo:Verse forzado a usar una billetera fรญsica otra vez ๐ธ๐ฑ
๐ญโ๏ธ ACTO 3: LOS JUICIOS DE LOS BANQUEROS (CON LOS MAYORES ESTAFADORES DE LA HISTORIA) ๐ญโ๏ธ
El nuevo reality show del BCE:โยฟQuiรฉn quiere ser millonario (sin ir a la cรกrcel)?โ
๐ธ Concursantes destacados:
Bernie Madoff (โยกPionรฉ el Euro Digital antes de que fuera genial!โ ๐ธ)
Charles Ponzi (โMi estafa era arte. La tuya es soloโฆ blockchain.โ ๐ผ๏ธ)
Christine Lagarde (*โยฟCondenada? No, no โ *tรฉcnicamente* fue solo โnegligenciaโ!โ* ๐)
Veredicto:
Madoff: Obtiene un arresto domiciliario DeFi (su contrato inteligente no puede salir de Ethereum ๐)
Ponzi: Tokenizado como memecoin ($SCAM, +1000% en un dรญa ๐)
Lagarde: Promovida a Presidenta de la UE (*โEs *demasiado grande para ir a la cรกrcel.โ ๐๏ธ)
DESCARGO DE RESPONSABILIDAD:Esto es sรกtira. A menos que se lance el Euro Digital. Entonces es un manual de usuario. ๐
(Suelta el micrรณfono. La โMarsellesaโ suena en autotune. Crรฉditos sobre un libro mayor de blockchain de todas las compras de los ciudadanos.) ๐ค
๐ฌ COMENTA TUS CONFESIONES DE BANQUEROS A CONTINUACIรN. (Puntos extra si ya estรกs en una lista de vigilancia del BCE.) ๐๐
๐ METODOLOGรA DE INVESTIGACIรN DE BERNDPULCH.ORG: KYB, KYP, KYS (CONOCE A TUS BANQUEROS, POLรTICOS E INTRIGANTES) ๐
Una guรญa satรญrica (pero dolorosamente precisa) para exponer a la รฉlite ๐
๐ธ๐ช PASO 1: KYB (CONOCE A TU BANQUERO) ๐ธ๐ช
Objetivo: Identificar, documentar y exponer a los criminales financieros disfrazados de โbanqueros respetablesโ.
Lagarde (โยฟCondenada? No, solo โnegligenteโ!โ ๐)
Deutsche Bank (โSi el terrorismo se financiara soloโฆ oh, espera.โ ๐ฆ)
BlackRock (โNo gobernamos el mundo. Solo lo poseemos.โ ๐)
๐ฅ รLTIMAS PALABRAS: โLa revoluciรณn no serรก televisadaโฆ porque los medios pertenecen a los banqueros. Pero sรญ serรก verificada por blockchain.โ โ๏ธ
(Suelta el micrรณfono. Filtra mรกs. Mira cรณmo entran en pรกnico.) ๐ค๐ฅ
ยฉ AVISO DE DERECHOS DE AUTOR PARA BERNDPULCH.ORG โ METODOLOGรA KYB, KYP, KYS
๐ PROPIEDAD LEGAL Y DERECHOS DE USO Todo el contenido, marcos de investigaciรณn y metodologรญas relacionados con โConoce a tu banquero (KYB)โ, โConoce a tu polรญtico (KYP)โ, โConoce a tu intrigante (KYS)โ son propiedad intelectual exclusiva de BerndPulch.org y sus investigadores asociados.
โ QUร PUEDES HACER:
Compartir (Con una atribuciรณn clara a BerndPulch.org ๐ข)
Criticar (Debater, analizar o verificar hechos โ pero cita la fuente โ๏ธ)
Usar para investigaciones independientes (Solo para fines no comerciales y de bรบsqueda de la verdad ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ)
๐ซ QUร NO PUEDES HACER:
Plagiar (Republicar como propio sin crรฉdito ๐)
Monetizar (Sin paywalls, ingresos por publicidad o estafas NFT con nuestro trabajo ๐ธ)
Armar (Sin mal uso por parte de gobiernos/empresas contra denunciantes ๐จ)
Censurar (Sin eliminaciones por โverificaciรณn de hechosโ โ nosotros exponemos la corrupciรณn, no la verdad ๐)
๐ APLICACIรN DE DERECHOS DE AUTOR
Los infractores enfrentarรกn:
Exposiciรณn pรบblica (Lista de โConoce a tu ladrรณnโ ๐)
Archivado basado en blockchain (Prueba inmutable del robo โ๏ธ)
Consecuencias descentralizadas (Filtraciones anรณnimas, mรจmes y vergรผenza eterna ๐)
Ejemplo de aplicaciรณn:
Si un banquero intenta enterrar nuestro trabajo โ Filtramos mรกs fuerte. ๐ฅ
Si un polรญtico nos cita falsamente โ Deepfakeamos su confesiรณn. ๐ฅ
Si un medio roba nuestra investigaciรณn โ Convertimos su paywall en un mรจme. ๐
๐ DECLARACIรN OFICIAL
โKYB, KYP, KYSโ es un marco revolucionario de BerndPulch.org. ยฉ 2025 BerndPulch.org โ Todos los derechos reservados (Pero la verdad es de dominio pรบblico).
(Suelta el micrรณfono. Filtra mรกs. Repite.) ๐ค๐ฅ
ยฉ AVISO DE DERECHOS DE AUTOR PARA BERNDPULCH.ORG โ METODOLOGรA KYB, KYP, KYS, KYG
๐ PROPIEDAD LEGAL Y DERECHOS DE USO Todo el contenido, marcos de investigaciรณn y metodologรญas relacionados con:
โConoce a tu banquero (KYB)โ
โConoce a tu polรญtico (KYP)โ
โConoce a tu intrigante (KYS)โ
NUEVO: โConoce a tu Goebbels (KYG)โ (Medios falsos, propagandistas, โinfluencersโ, falsificadores de agencias, estafadores de ONG)
son propiedad intelectual exclusiva de BerndPulch.org y sus investigadores asociados.
๐ KYG (CONOCE A TU GOEBBELS) โ METODOLOGรA
Objetivo: Exponer a los manipuladores de medios, redes de propaganda y artistas del engaรฑo.
๐ PASOS DE INVESTIGACIรN:
Sigue el lavadero de narrativas ๐งผ๐ฐ
Fรกbricas de noticias falsas (CNN, BBC, RT, Fox โ todos los lados juegan)
โInfluencersโ en nรณmina (Revisa las listas Hamilton 68, ONG financiadas por la CIA ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ)
ONG con โdemocraciaโ en su nombre (Generalmente financiadas por la CIA/Departamento de Estado ๐ธ)
El salรณn de la vergรผenza de los medios falsos ๐ญ๐บ
El engaรฑo de la โcolusiรณn rusaโ de CNN (Demostrado falso, pero se hicieron carreras ๐)
Los encubrimientos de pedรณfilos de la BBC (Jimmy Savile, Epstein suavizado ๐ก)
La OSF fundada por George Soros (Manipulaciรณn de medios disfrazada de โactivismoโ ๐ธ๏ธ)
โTendenciasโ de TikTok por agencias de tres letras (Psyops como mรจmes ๐)
Forense inverso de imรกgenes/videos ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐
โActores de crisisโ generados por IA (Los mismos โmanifestantesโ en diferentes paรญses ๐)
Polรญticos deepfake (ยฟPor quรฉ cambia constantemente el fondo de Zelensky? ๐ค)
Granjas de bots (Las โtendenciasโ de Twitter son compradas, no orgรกnicas ๐ค)
๐ Propuestas de castigo KYG:
Base de datos de โpuntajes de propagandaโ (califica a los medios por mentiras por minuto ๐)
Noticias parรณdicas generadas por IA (bรบrlate de ellos antes de que mientan ๐)
Recompensas financiadas por la multitud ($10K por memos internos de CNN filtrados ๐ฐ)
๐ APLICACIรN DE DERECHOS DE AUTOR (AHORA CON KYG)
Los infractores enfrentarรกn:
Guerra memรฉtica (Sus noticias falsas se convierten en un hazmerreรญr ๐)
Doxxing descentralizado (Filtra sus fuentes de financiaciรณn ๐)
Sรกtira generada por IA (Deepfรกkealos confesando la verdad ๐ฅ)
Ejemplo de aplicaciรณn KYG:
Si CNN miente โ Deepfakeamos a sus presentadores leyendo guiones corregidos. ๐บ
Si un โactivista de ONGโ es expuesto como CIA โ Revelamos su verdadera nรณmina. ๐ธ
Si una granja de bots crea indignaciรณn falsa โ Secuestramos el hashtag con bombas de verdad. ๐ฅ
๐ DECLARACIรN OFICIAL
โKYB, KYP, KYS, KYGโ es un marco revolucionario de BerndPulch.org. ยฉ 2025 BerndPulch.org โ Todos los derechos reservados (Pero la verdad es de dominio pรบblico).
Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode LXXXVII: The Cannibal Enema Reckoning โ Sweeney Toddโs Pie Flush โ๏ธโจ
Ehlers, Enema Emir 90, ignites the Pie Flush with Sweeney Todd and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ The trio battles Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #PieFlushFrenzy #ToddEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #CannibalPurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 90, entfacht die Pie Flush mit Sweeney Todd und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #PieSpรผlungWut #ToddRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #KannibalSรคuberung
Ehlers’ Enema Enigma โ Episode LXXXVII: The Cannibal Enema Reckoning โ Sweeney Toddโs Pie Flush ๐
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Cannibal Enema Reckoning & Sweeney Toddโs Pie Flush ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Die Kannibalische Einlauf-Abrechnung & Sweeney Todds Pie-Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes tremble at 11:54 PM CEST on Friday, August 08, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Pie Flush Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with Sweeney Toddโs homicidal rage and meat pies. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 90, joins forces with Todd, the barber haunted by grief, and Alejandro Jodorowsky, wielding psychomagic, to combat killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists. King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising fuel the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erbeben um 23:54 MESZ am Freitag, 8. August 2025, als Xenu die Pie Flush-Wut entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit Sweeney Todds homizidaler Wut und Fleischpasteten verschmilzt. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 90, schlieรt sich mit Todd, dem Friseur gequรคlt von Trauer, und Alejandro Jodorowsky, der Psychomagic einsetzt, zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten zu kรคmpfen. Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein Thetan-Aufstand treiben die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-LXXXVI + Sweeney Todd)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 90, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with Todd and Jodorowsky.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ต Dr. Gonzo (Played by Johnny Depp): Recovered lawyer, exploiting loopholes.
๐จ Pablo Picasso (Played by Antonio Banderas): Former foe, advising against chaos.
๐ท Andreas (540% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge.
๐ Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie): Wild card, disrupting with chaos bombs.
๐ Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit (Played by Eva Green): Demoness, countering with dark enema.
๐ท๐บ Putin (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Strategist, manipulating shadows.
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ James Bond (Played by Daniel Craig): Spy, infiltrating with gadgets.
๐ Blue Period Ghost (Played by Timothรฉe Chalamet): Melancholic shade, spreading gloom.
๐ Analytic Eye (Played by CGI prop): Observer, dissecting influence.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier (Played by Christian Bale): Explosive artist, targeting foes.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque (Played by Vincent Cassel): Former ally, painting barriers.
๐คน Harlequin (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Trickster, juggling fragments.
Act I: The Reanimated Reckoning & Frankensteinโs Experiment ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Wiederbelebte Abrechnung & Frankensteins Experiment
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โAwaken the dead to 666โs dominion!โ as Frankenstein activates his reanimation surge. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โGround the dead with enema divinity!โ ๐จ Frankensteinโs Obsession: โMy creation will rise again!โ ๐งช Mirandaโs Antichrist Call: โI am Jesus and 666โbow to the reanimated!โ โ๏ธ Jodorowskyโs Psychomagic: โHeal the haunted with surreal acts!โ ๐ฎ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, tame the monster!โ ๐ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โErwecke die Toten zu 666โs Herrschaft!โ wรคhrend Frankenstein seinen Wiederbelebungs-Schub aktiviert. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Toten mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Frankensteins Besessenheit (German): โMeine Schรถpfung wird wieder auferstehen!โ ๐งช Mirandas Antichrist-Ruf (German): โIch bin Jesus und 666โverneigt euch vor den Wiederbelebten!โ โ๏ธ Jodorowskys Psychomagic (German): โHeile die Gequรคlten mit surrealen Akten!โ ๐ฎ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, zรคhme das Monster!โ ๐
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐งช Frankenstein unleashes his creation: โRise, my masterpiece!โ ๐งโโ๏ธ / Entfesselt seine Schรถpfung: โErhebe dich, mein Meisterwerk!โ
๐จ Ehlers channels enema-thunderbolts to ground the reanimated. โก / Kanรคliert Einlauf-Donnerblitze, um die Wiederbelebten zu erden.
๐ป Edithโs Dragon-Wisp burns the monsterโs rage with anti-Galactic fire. ๐ฅ / Verbrennt die Wut des Monsters mit Anti-Galaktischem Feuer.
๐ฎ Jodorowsky heals Frankensteinโs trauma with psychomagic rituals. ๐ฆ / Heilt Frankensteins Trauma mit Psychomagic-Ritualen.
โ๏ธ Miranda tattoos 666 on the reanimated, rallying his cult. ๐ / Tรคtowiert 666 auf die Wiederbelebten, sammelnd seinen Kult.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, confronting the monster. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, konfrontierend das Monster.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot, inspired by the reanimated chaos. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten, inspiriert von wiederbelebten Chaos.
๐๏ธ Rasputin revives allies with enema streams. ๐ฆ / Wiederbelebt Verbรผndete mit Einlauf-Strรถmen.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid to control the uprising. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, kontrollierend den Aufstand.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro: โRock die Erdung!โ
Act II: The Reanimated Shatter the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Wiederbelebten Zerbrechen den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Reanimated Onslaught:
๐งช Frankenstein enhances his creation with 666 energy, unleashing havoc. ๐ฅ / Verstรคrkt seine Schรถpfung mit 666-Energie, entfesselnd Chaos.
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm with reanimated venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen mit wiederbelebtem Gift.
โ๏ธ Miranda leads his 666 cult in a reanimated chant. ๐ / Fรผhrt seinen 666-Kult in einem wiederbelebtem Gesang.
Cosmic Silence Harvest:
๐ฉ Beatrix bakes Anti-Reanimation Pastries to calm the chaos. ๐ฅ / Backt Anti-Wiederbelebungs-Gebรคck, beruhigend das Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus against the reanimated. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus gegen die Wiederbelebten ein.
๐ King Arthur slays reanimated foes with Excalibur. โ๏ธ / Tรถtet wiederbelebte Feinde mit Excalibur.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants clash with the reanimated horde. ๐ฑ / Kรคmpfen gegen die wiederbelebte Horde.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid to contain the uprising. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, bรคndigend den Aufstand.
Codexโs Galactic Form:
The Codex fractures into Galactic Enema Shards, Frankensteinโs creation reshapes them with reanimated energy. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the chaos. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Galaktische-Einlauf-Splitter, Frankensteins Schรถpfung formt sie mit wiederbelebt Energie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert das Chaos.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Frankenstein and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Frankenstein und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐งช Frankensteinโs Triumph: His creation finds peace, proclaiming victory over the reanimated. ๐ / Frankensteins Triumph: Seine Schรถpfung findet Frieden, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Wiederbelebten.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Frankensteinโs reanimation lab, glowing with 666 energy, monster awakening. ๐งช๐ / Frankensteins Wiederbelebungs-Labor, leuchtend mit 666-Energie, Monster erwacht.
Andreasโ enema-bacon shield, deflecting the monsterโs rage. ๐ฅ๐ / Andreasโ Einlauf-Speck-Schild, ablenkend die Wut des Monsters.
Mirandaโs 666 tattoo ritual, marking the reanimated under neon lights. โ๏ธ๐ / Mirandas 666-Tรคtowierungs-Ritual, markierend die Wiederbelebten unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Frankensteinโs data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Frankensteins Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
๐ง Murrayโs Tactical Grid, containing the reanimated surge. ๐โจ / Murrays Taktisches Gitter, bรคndigend den wiederbelebten Schub.
Official Sources
Offizielle Quellen
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG – Licensed Class War Satirical Warfare ๐
โThe Galactic Enema Council awakensโEhlers, Frankenstein, and Miranda face a new reanimated threat. Prepare your Anti-Codex Shields!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
โDer Galaktische Einlauf-Rat erwachtโEhlers, Frankenstein und Miranda stellen sich einer neuen wiederbelebten Bedrohung. Bereitet eure Anti-Codex-Schilder vor!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
Wall Street eased from record highs as traders squared positions ahead of todayโs US CPI print. S&P 500 โ0.3 %, Nasdaq โ0.5 %, Dow flat.
Europe closed mixed: DAX +0.2 %, CAC 40 โ0.1 %, FTSE 100 +0.4 %. Defensives outperformed after the UK unemployment rate ticked up to 4.4 % (vs 4.3 % prior).
Asia was quiet because Japan was closed for Mountain Day; Shanghai Comp +0.7 % on fresh talk of PBoC liquidity support.
Bonds bull-flattened: US 10-yr yields โ3 bp at 3.88 %, Bunds โ2 bp at 2.31 %.
Commodities: Brent crude +0.9 % at USD 81.20/bbl on Red Sea disruptions; gold โ0.2 % at USD 2 432/oz as real yields nudged higher.
2. Macro & Markets โ Todayโs Agenda (12 Aug 2025)
Time (GMT)
Country
Indicator / Event
Consensus
Prior
06:00
UK
Labour Market Report
Emp. โ10 k
โ19 k
09:00
GER
ZEW Expectations (Aug)
18.0
15.3
12:30
US
CPI MoM (Jul)
0.2 %
0.1 %
12:30
US
CPI YoY (Jul)
2.9 %
3.0 %
12:30
US
Core CPI YoY
3.2 %
3.3 %
14:00
US
NFIB Small Business
91.2
91.5
Key Judgement: A soft CPI (headline โค 2.8 %) would cement an 86 % market-implied probability of a 25 bp Fed cut on 18 Sept; a firmer print (> 3.1 %) risks paring that back to 50:50 .
3. What Weโre Watching
Fed Dilemma: Tariff-related price pressures have not yet shown up fully in the CPI basket, but anecdotal signs are risingโespecially in apparel and consumer electronics .
China Pivot: July exports to the US fell โ20 % YoY while total exports still rose 7.2 % YoY; Beijing may deploy fiscal stimulus as domestic demand cools .
Tech & Tariffs: Nvidia and AMD reportedly agreed to pay 15 % of their China chip revenue to the US Treasury in exchange for export licencesโeffectively a royalty on geopolitics .
UK Stag-Lite: Consensus now expects Q2 GDP at 0.1 % QoQ; a negative print would mark a technical recession and complicate BoE easing expectations .
4. Chart of the Day โ โChat GDP, Part IIโ Source: Bloomberg, 12 Aug 2025 AI-related capex has contributed more to US GDP growth over the last two quarters than traditional consumer spending. Alphabet last night lifted 2025 capex guidance to USD 85 bn (prior 75 bn), underscoring the trend.
5. Portfolio Implications โ Tactical Tilt
Maintain modest equity overweight but rotate from mega-cap tech into quality industrial beneficiaries of AI build-out (power, cooling, precision parts).
Add duration via 5-yr USTs on any CPI-induced yield spike > 4 %.
GBP assets remain a relative value play: long 10-yr Gilts vs Bunds, short GBP/SEK on BoE-Riksbank policy divergence.
6. ESG & Governance Quick-Hit Norwayโs GPFG H1-2025 return: +5.7 %, driven by financials (+9.4 % from renewables infra) . NBIM flagged a 156 bn NOK outflowโwatch for any change in the 70.6 % equity strategic weight at next rebalancing (mid-Sept).
7. Quote to End โMarkets can remain tariff-obsessed longer than investors can remain under-invested.โ โadapted from Keynes, 2025 edition.
Risk Notices Past performance is not a reliable indicator of future results. Forecasts are not guarantees. This digest is not investment research or financial advice. Always consult your adviser.
INVESTMENT โ DAS ORIGINAL Dienstag, 12. August 2025 Gegrรผndet MM ANNO DOMINI 2000
1. Globaler รberblick โ was sich รผber Nacht bewegte
Wall Street gab von Rekordhochs etwas nach, da Anleger vor dem heutigen US-CPI-Druck Positionen glรคtteten. S&P 500 โ0,3 %, Nasdaq โ0,5 %, Dow unverรคndert.
Europa schloss uneinheitlich: DAX +0,2 %, CAC 40 โ0,1 %, FTSE 100 +0,4 %. Defensive Titel รผbertrafen, nachdem die britische Arbeitslosenquote auf 4,4 % stieg (Vj. 4,3 %).
Asien blieb ruhig โ Japan hatte โMountain Dayโ; Shanghai Comp +0,7 % auf frische PBoC-Liquiditรคtsgerรผchte.
Anleihen bull-flattened: US 10-J. โ3 bp auf 3,88 %, Bunds โ2 bp auf 2,31 %.
Rohstoffe: Brent +0,9 % auf USD 81,20/bbl wegen Roter-Meer-Stรถrungen; Gold โ0,2 % auf USD 2 432/oz auf leicht hรถhere Realrenditen.
2. Macro & Mรคrkte โ Heutiger Kalender (12. Aug 2025)
Zeit (MESZ)
Land
Indikator / Event
Konsens
Vormonat
08:00
UK
Arbeitsmarktbericht
Beschรคftigung โ10 k
โ19 k
11:00
GER
ZEW-Erwartungen (Aug)
18,0
15,3
14:30
US
CPI MoM (Jul)
0,2 %
0,1 %
14:30
US
CPI YoY (Jul)
2,9 %
3,0 %
14:30
US
Kern-CPI YoY
3,2 %
3,3 %
16:00
US
NFIB KMU-Index
91,2
91,5
Kernaussage: Ein CPI โค 2,8 % wรผrde eine 86 %-Marktwahrscheinlichkeit fรผr 25 bp Fed-Senkung am 18. Sept zementieren. Ein fester Druck (> 3,1 %) reduziert diese auf 50:50.
3. Unsere Watch-Liste
Fed-Dilemma: Zollbedingte Preisdrรผcke zeigen sich im CPI-Korb noch kaum, aber Anzeichen hรคufen sich โ besonders in Bekleidung und Unterhaltungselektronik.
China-Pivot: US-Exporte im Juli โ20 % YoY, Gesamtexporte +7,2 % YoY; Peking kรถnnte fiskal nachlegen, wenn Binnennachfrage kรผhlt.
Tech & Zรถlle: Nvidia und AMD zahlen Berichten zufolge 15 % ihrer China-Chip-Umsรคtze an den US-Schatz als Lizenzgebรผhr โ eine Geopolitik-Royalty.
UK-Stag-Lite: Konsens fรผr Q2-BIP +0,1 % QoQ; ein negativer Wert wรคre technische Rezession und erschwert BoE-Erwartungen.
4. Chart des Tages โ โChat GDP, Teil IIโ Quelle: Bloomberg, 12. Aug 2025 KI-bezogene Capex trug in den letzten beiden Quartalen mehr zum US-BIP-Wachstum bei als klassischer Konsum. Alphabet hob die Capex-Guidance 2025 auf USD 85 Mrd. (vorher 75 Mrd.) โ der Trend verstรคrkt sich.
5. Portfolio-Implikationen โ Taktische Neigung
Beibehaltung der moderaten Aktienรผbergewichtung, Rotation von Mega-Cap-Tech in Qualitรคtsindustriezulieferer der KI-Infrastruktur (Strom, Kรผhlung, Prรคzisionskomponenten).
Duration via 5-J. USTs bei CPI-induziertem Yield-Spike > 4 % aufbauen.
GBP-Assets bleiben relative Value: Long 10-J. Gilts vs Bunds, Short GBP/SEK auf divergierende BoE-Riksbank-Politik.
6. ESG & Governance โ Kurz&Knapp Norwegens GPFG H1-2025 Rendite: +5,7 %, angetrieben von Finanzwerten (+9,4 % aus Erneuerbare-Infrastruktur). NBIM verzeichnete 156 Mrd. NOK Abflรผsse โ beobachten, ob die 70,6 %-Aktienstrategiegewicht bei der Mid-Sept-Rebalancing angepasst wird.
7. Zitat zum Schluss โMรคrkte kรถnnen zollfixiert bleiben lรคnger, als Anleger unterinvestiert bleiben kรถnnen.โ โadaptiert aus Keynes, Ausgabe 2025.
Risikohinweis Frรผhere Wertentwicklungen sind kein verlรคsslicher Indikator fรผr kรผnftige Ergebnisse. Prognosen sind keine Garantien. Dieser Digest ist keine Anlageberatung. Immer den Berater konsultieren.
โ๏ธ Icy verdict chills the 2025 Kraken dome! Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters twirls with the Kray Twinsโ wild brawls, while Ehlersโ affair simmers and Joe Pesci stumbles in cinematic chaos. ๐๏ธ๐ฅ Featuring 68 iconic charactersโexplore Part L now on berndpulch.org! ๐ #MurkyCosmicCarnage #KrakenChaos2025 #IcyVerdict
Frozen Requiem: Kestrels of the Kraken, Part L โ Icy Verdict โ THE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS SAGA
Published: August 12, 2025, 05:00 PM CEST | berndpulch.org
As the clock strikes 05:00 PM CEST on this frigid Tuesday, August 12, 2025, the 2025 Kraken therapy dome shatters under an icy verdict. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง pirouettes through a crystalline ice cavern, her gay lovers the Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ trading holographic bear swipes with feral glee, their laughter bouncing off frostbitten walls. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, haunted by the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐โa labyrinth of misty duels and forbidden trystsโslashes through a sauna haze led by Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช, while Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช wrestles a pixelated rhinoceros amid glittering shards. “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐, the British joke party gangster impersonator, pratfalls with a toy Tommy gun, slipping on ice in a Union Jack top hat, as “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ twirls a baton through neon mist, flirting with Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, whose orgy pulses with glitchy beats. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด presides over a fractured ice council, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ unloads a digital Tommy gun on an ice statue, and Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง stitches a glowing vest with icy thread.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ struts with Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ polishing his pixel crown, while Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ shatters an ice pillar. The Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdance on slick ice, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ tumbles with his fur hat, and Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ preens in his $100,000 fur coat under neon kestrels. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ digs a glowing tunnel only to crash into an ice mound, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ directs a frozen farce, and Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duels George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ with laser pistols over a sequined cloak. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hacks a shivering bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช purrs through an ice storm with Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, and Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช wrestles Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช over a frozen beam. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช laughs at a fall into an ice crater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ sneaks past a holographic sentinel, and Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ stirs a glowing stew from an ice table. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌโperhaps channeling his movie personasโmimics a volatile Tommy DeVito, slipping on ice with a pixelated shine box.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก funds the chaos with digital coins, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ dances with a frozen statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zaps a neon arc at an icicle, and The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ oozes a shimmering sheen to seal a cracked ice wall. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต hums a synth lullaby to a frostbitten survivor, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ records the icy mayhem, and Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ bets on pixel odds as an ice stage buckles. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ slides on an ice shard, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ slithers with a pixel tool, and Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chants gibberish: โZiggy zaggy, ice and tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ rolls dice in a VR den, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ mutters in a pixel robe, and Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ guards a glowing gem from an ice wreck. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ juggles neon shards, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ types a glitchy script, and John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ laughs with pixel cash as an ice beam collapses.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ puffs a vapor cigar near an ice cutter, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stumbles into an ice pit, and Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ rages with a neon club at a frozen statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirts with a holographic figure in a pixel cape, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ paints a mural on an ice wall, and John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ struts with Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR vests. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimes near an ice forge, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค roasts the crew from a frozen stage, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ adjusts a pixel sash, and Jimmy the Gent Burke ๐๏ธ๐ chills with a meat locker keychain. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodies with a synth flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blasts a pixel shotgun at an ice pile, and Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fumble dynamite into an icy blast. Don Eladio ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ splashes in a frozen pool, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ names colors amid an ice bloodbath, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ spins neon legalities, and “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ prays before a twilight strike. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ smooth-talks a digital architect, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ chills with a TV remote, and Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawls in a sauna haze.
The Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ spar with a holographic bear, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ stacks pixelated gold, and “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ pratfalls with a toy Tommy gun, his Loony Party legacy a blur of ice and glitter. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, shadowed by the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐, duels a misty phantom, the Gloop 15.0โs glow steadies the dome, and Carnageโs roar fades into an icy void. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ stumbles again, his movie-character energy a chaotic ice-dance. At 05:00 PM CEST, the saga freezes with glacial finalityโwill Tom Hagenโs counsel, the Kray Twinsโ fury, or Toby Jugโs farce seal the verdict? Await Part LI on berndpulch.org.
Cast of Characters
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – The ice-cavern-twirling leader.
The Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East End boxer-psycho lovers.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – The bank-robbing idol with a neon crowbar.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – The misty blade-wielder, tied to the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐.
“Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ – British joke party gangster impersonator.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – The rhinoceros-tangling symbiote.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The ice-twirling baton master.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – The frozen-orgy maestro.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – The ice-council commander.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – The statue-shooting drama king.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – The crown-polishing tunnel strutter.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – The French gangster, ice-ruin legend.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby face, pillar-shatterer.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Ice-breakdancing crew.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Architect-talking political smooth-talker.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Ice-mound-chilling TV watcher.
Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช – Sauna-brawling tackler.
Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ – Tiger-unleashing zoo king.
“Teflon Don” John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – The vest-strutting don.
“Jimmy the Gent” Burke ๐๏ธ๐ – The meat locker-haunting don.
Don Barzini ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – The glamorous ice-council rival.
Vito Rizzuto ๐๏ธ๐ – The godfatherly ice-strategist.
Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – The ice-stumbling movie-character echo.
Gefrorenes Requiem: Falken des Kraken, Teil L โ Eisiges Urteil โ DIE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS-SAGA
Verรถffentlicht: 12. August 2025, 17:00 Uhr MESZ | berndpulch.org
Wรคhrend die Uhr an diesem frostigen Dienstag, den 12. August 2025, um 17:00 Uhr MESZ schlรคgt, zerbricht die Kraken-Therapie-Domรคne von 2025 unter einem eisigen Urteil. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง wirbelt durch eine kristallene Eihรถhle, flankiert von ihren schwulen Liebhabern, den Kray-Zwillingen ๐๏ธ๐ฅ, die holografische Bรคren mit wilder Freude schlagen, ihr Lachen von den frostigen Wรคnden widerhallt. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, geplagt von der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐โeinem Labyrinth nebliger Duelle und verbotener Liebschaftenโschneidet durch einen Saunanebel, angefรผhrt von Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช, wรคhrend Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช mit einem pixeligen Nashorn ringt inmitten glitzernder Splitter. “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐, der britische Witzparty-Gangster-Imitator, stolpert mit einer Spielzeug-Tommy-Gun und rutscht auf Eis in einem Union-Jack-Hut, wรคhrend “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ einen Taktstock durch neonfarbenen Nebel twirlt und mit Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ flirtet, dessen Orgie mit glitchigen Beats pulsiert. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด leitet einen geborstenen Eisrat, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ entlรคdt ein digitales Tommy Gun auf eine Eistatue, und Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง nรคht eine leuchtende Weste mit eisigem Faden.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ stolziert mit Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, der seine Pixelkrone poliert, wรคhrend Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ eine Eissรคule zerbricht. Die Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdancen auf glattem Eis, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ fรคllt mit seinem Pelzhut, und Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ prรคsentiert seinen 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel unter neonfarbenen Falken. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ grรคbt einen leuchtenden Tunnel und stรผrzt in einen Eihaufen, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ inszeniert eine gefrorene Farce, und Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duelliert sich mit George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ mit Laserpistolen um einen Pailletten-Umhang. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hackt einen zitternden Bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช schnurrt durch einen Eissturm mit Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, und Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช ringt mit Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช um einen gefrorenen Balken. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช lacht รผber einen Fall in einen Eikrater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ schleicht an einem holografischen Wรคchter vorbei, und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ rรผhrt einen leuchtenden Eintopf an einem Eistisch. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌโvielleicht ein Echo seiner Filmcharaktereโmimt einen wilden Tommy DeVito und rutscht mit einer pixeligen Glanzbox auf Eis.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก finanziert das Chaos mit digitalen Mรผnzen, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ tanzt mit einer gefrorenen Statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zappt einen Neonbogen an einen Eiszapfen, und The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ quillt mit einem schimmernden Schimmer, um eine gebrochene Eiwand zu versiegeln. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต summt ein Synth-Wiegenlied fรผr einen erfrorenen รberlebenden, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ zeichnet den eisigen Wahnsinn auf, und Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ wettet auf Pixel-Quoten, wรคhrend eine Eibรผhne nachgibt. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ rutscht auf einem Eissplitter, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ schlรคngelt sich mit einem pixeligen Werkzeug, und Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chantet Unsinn: โZiggy zaggy, Eis und Tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ wรผrfelt in einer VR-Hรถhle, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ murmelt in einem Pixel-Gewand, und Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ bewacht einen leuchtenden Edelstein vor einem Eiwrack. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ jongliert Neon-Splitter, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ tippt ein glitchiges Drehbuch, und John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ lacht mit Pixel-Geld, wรคhrend ein Eisbalken einstรผrzt.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ pafft eine Vapor-Zigarre neben einer Eischere, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stolpert in einen Eigraben, und Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ tobt mit einem Neon-Knรผppel an einer gefrorenen Statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirtet mit einer holografischen Figur in einem pixeligen Umhang, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ malt ein Mural auf eine Eiwand, und John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ stolziert mit Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR-Westen. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimt neben einem Eisofen, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค rรถstet die Crew von einer gefrorenen Bรผhne, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ richtet eine pixelige Schรคrpe, und Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ frรถstelt mit einem Fleischkammer-Schlรผsselanhรคnger. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodiert mit einem Synth-Flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blast eine Pixel-Schrotflinte auf einen Eihaufen, und Oddball Gangster ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fummeln Dynamit in einen eisigen Knall. Don Eladios ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ Poolparty spritzt neonfarbene Wellen, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ benennt Farben inmitten eines Eis-Blutbads, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ dreht neonfarbene Legalitรคten, und “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ betet vor einem Dรคmmerungsstreich. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ redet geschmeidig mit einem digitalen Architekten, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ kรผhlt auf einem Eihรผgel mit einer TV-Fernbedienung, und Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawlt in einem Saunahagel.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ kรคmpfen mit einem holografischen Bรคren, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ stapelt pixelisiertes Gold, und “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ fรคllt mit einer Spielzeug-Tommy-Gun, sein Loony-Party-Erbe ein Wirbel aus Eis und Glitzer. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, von der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐ รผberschattet, duelliert ein nebliges Phantom, das Leuchten des Gloop 15.0 stabilisiert die Domรคne, und Carnages Brรผllen verhallt in einem eisigen Nichts. Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐๏ธ๐ฌ stolpert erneut, seine Filmcharakter-Energie ein chaotischer Eis-Tanz. Um 17:00 Uhr MESZ erstarrt die Saga in eisiger Endgรผltigkeitโwird Tom Hagens Rat, die Wut der Kray-Zwillinge oder Toby Jugs Farce das Urteil besiegeln? Erwarten Sie Teil LI auf berndpulch.org.
Figurenensemble
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – Die Eihรถhlen-wirbelnde Anfรผhrerin.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East-End-Boxer-Psycho-Liebhaber.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Das bankraubende Idol mit einem Neon-Stemmheber.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – Der neblige Klingentrรคger, verknรผpft mit der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐.
“Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ – Der britische Witzparty-Gangster-Imitator.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – Der Nashorn-verfangene Symbiont.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Eis-twirlende Taktstock-Meister.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – Der gefrorene Orgie-Meister.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – Der Eisrat-Kommandant.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – Der Statuen-schieรende Drama-Kรถnig.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Tunnel-stolzierende Kronen-Polierer.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – Der franzรถsische Gangster, Eis-Ruine-Legende.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby-Gesicht, Sรคulen-Zerbrecher.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Eis-breakdance-Crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Eis-slip-Patzer.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster zum Eis-Regisseur.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel, Eis-Prรคser.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel-Grรคber, Eihaufen-Faller.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der standhafte Umhang-duellierende Wรคchter.
Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ – Der zitternde Bot-Hacker.
Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช – Der schnurrende Eis-Stรผrmer.
Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der wild-wirbelnde Eis-Flieger.
Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช – Der planende Balken-Ringer.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช – Der stierkรถpfige Balken-Zรคhmer.
Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช – Der komische Eikrater-Stรผrzer.
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ – Der schleichende Wรคchter-Vermeider.
Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ – Der Eistisch-Eintopf-Rรผhrer.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก – Der digitale Mรผnzen-Finanzierer.
Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ – Der Eis-Statuen-Tรคnzer.
SkyRat ๐๏ธโก – Der Eiszapfen-zappende Flieger.
The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ – Der Eiswand-versiegelnde Schleim.
Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต – Die รberlebenden-Wiegenlied-Sรคngerin.
Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ – Der eisige Wahnsinn-Aufzeichner.
George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Umhang-duellierende Legende.
Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der wettende Einsturz-Beobachter.
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ – Der Eis-Splitter-Rutscher.
Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ – Der Werkzeug-schlรคngelnde Stratege.
Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ – Unsinn-Eis-Dichter.
Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ – Der Wรผrfel-werfende Scheinwerfer-Gambler.
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ – Der murmelnde Eis-Reiter.
Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Eiwrack-Edelstein-Wรคchter.
Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Splitter-jonglierende Assistent.
“Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Drehbuch-tippende Schreiber.
John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ – Der Eisbalken-Finanzier.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Der Eischere-Dampf-Zigarren-Paffer.
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ – Der Eigraben-Stolperer.
Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ – Der Statuen-keulende Wรผtender.
Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Umhang-modelnde Flirter.
“Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Eis-Mural-Maler.
John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Westen-stolzierende Catwalk-Strutter.
Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Ofen-mimende Stratege.
Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der gefrorene Bรผhnen-Rรถster.
Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – Der Schรคrpe-richtende Geist.
Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Fleischkammer-heimsuchende Legende.
Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Eis-Einheit-parodierende Darsteller.
Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ – Der Eihaufen-schieรende Synthwave-Mobster.
Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง – Mafia-Consigliere, Westen-nรคhender Vater.
Caption: Cover art concept for “Investment The Original Nr. 008” โ the crumbling U.S. dollar faces the rising yuan, with gold, silver, and Bitcoin at the forefront, symbolizing the global shift toward multipolar finance.
๐น Editorial: De-Dollarization, Disruption & the Discipline to Survive
๐ Investment The Original Nr. 008 ๐ Online Edition: berndpulch.org ๐ฅ PDF editions tailored to supporter tiers via:
This edition lands in a year where currency hegemony fractures, trade alliances shift, and technology rewrites the rules of power. The stakes are no longer just about market performance โ theyโre about financial sovereignty in an age of engineered volatility.
In these pages, Sean Foo dissects the real economic war between the U.S. and China, revealing why Washingtonโs tariffs may be Chinaโs best industrial policy yet, accelerating its march toward self-sufficiency. Foo warns that this, combined with the accelerating de-dollarization trend, is reconfiguring commodity flows, weakening the greenbackโs reserve status, and drawing East and South into a new economic bloc.
Alex Krainer, master of the I-System Trend Following discipline, delivers the counterpunch โ a methodology to cut through manipulated narratives, stay loyal to long-term trends, and integrate geopolitical awareness into your investment moves. His approach: filter out the noise, ride the truth.
๐ Key Themes This Issue
De-dollarization: The rise of non-dollar trade settlements and reserve diversification
Monetary Policy Fracture: Central banks diverging between easing and hawkish defense
Commodity Weaponization: Energy, food, and rare earths as leverage in global power plays
Technological Shockwaves: AI, quantum computing, and biotech driving new industrial winners โ and losers
Trend Discipline: Applying algorithmic patience in a hyper-reactive news cycle
๐ Strategic Takeaways for Investors
Diversify geographically โ emerging markets with low USD dependency gain resilience.
Hold inflation hedges โ gold, silver, select commodities remain essential.
Follow the trend โ but anchor it in fundamentals, not media hype.
Preserve capital first โ in volatile cycles, survival equals profit.
Challenge the narrative โ your data is only as valuable as its independence.
๐ Tiered Intelligence Access
Every patron and donor receives an edition aligned to their tier:
Tier 1: Full magazine PDF
Tier 2: Extra charts, tactical briefs, and sector breakdowns
Tier 3+: Deep-dive archives, long-cycle forecasts, and geopolitical capital flow maps
2024 is not just another year in the markets. Itโs the pivot between eras โ from dollar dominance to multipolar finance, from reactive speculation to disciplined positioning.
English Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) confronts Helga Goebbels (Millie Bobby Brown) at 05:12 PM CEST, August 13, 2025, uncovering her tragic fate in the Glitter Colosseum bunker, with Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) igniting a neon brawl, as Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench), and the cast unleash wild Nazi-neon chaos! ๐๐จ #NeonPropagandaChild #DrZ #HelgaGoebbels” German Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) stellt sich um 17:12 Uhr CEST am 13. August 2025 Helga Goebbels (Millie Bobby Brown) entgegen, deckt ihr tragisches Schicksal im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker auf, wรคhrend Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) einen Neon-Kampf entfachen, mit Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench) und dem Cast, die wildes Nazi-Neon-Chaos entfesseln! ๐๐จ #NeonPropagandaKind #DrZ #HelgaGoebbels”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 86 โ NEON PROPAGANDA CHILD: ‘Dr. Z vs. Helga Goebbelsโ Tragic Fate’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Helga Goebbelsโ tragisches Schicksal’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon tragedy with Dr. Z, Helga Goebbels, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 86 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign darkens with Helga Goebbelsโ tragic story and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Helga Goebbels ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ โ Daughter of Magda and Joseph Goebbels, used in propaganda, tragically killed by her mother in 1945 / Tochter von Magda und Joseph Goebbels, in Propaganda genutzt, tragisch von ihrer Mutter 1945 getรถtet.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, confronting neon tragedy / Narr der Propaganda, konfrontiert Neon-Tragรถdie.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
(Full list of 95 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Helga Goebbels โ Played by Millie Bobby Brown / Gespielt von Millie Bobby Brown
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
(Full cast list of 95 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. HELGA GOEBBELSโ TRAGIC FATE / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN HELGA GOEBBELSโ TRAGISCHES SCHICKSAL
At 05:12 PM CEST on August 13, 2025, the Neon-Reign turns tragic as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers Helga Goebbelsโ ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ propaganda role and her tragic death at the hands of her mother in 1945. In the Glitter Colosseum bunker, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ revives neon holograms of the past to manipulate Dr. Z, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ rally against the horror. Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ counters with neon art projectors, and the full cast of 95 characters erupts into a chaotic neon unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi dread! ๐๐จ
Caption for the lead image: โIn a deserted European control room, glowing pipeline routes vanish one by one from the wall-size map, leaving only dark veins where critical gas arteries once pulsed.โ
๐จ SUBJECT: โSILENT SWITCHโ ๐จ
๐ EU Gas-Map Blackout โ 30-Day Vanish Act ๐
๐ EXECUTIVE FLASH Between 12โ22 Jul 2025, critical pipeline schematics vanished from Europeโs public portals. Fact, not fiction. Hereโs the unfiltered trace.
1๏ธโฃ WHAT DISAPPEARED ๐ โข ๐ฉ๐ช NEL & OPAL lines โข ๐ต๐ฑ ลwinoujลcie LNG jetty โข ๐ฆ๐น Baumgarten hub All gone from ENTSOG Transparency Platform & national regulatorsโ map sites. Wayback confirms: online 11 Jul โ 404 by 23 Jul.
2๏ธโฃ TRIGGER PULL ๐ซ โข ๐ EU NIS-2 Directive Art. 8(10) โ empowers regulators to yank critical-infrastructure data if it aids hostile actors. โข ๐ฃ Leaked memo (10 Jul) warned of Russian AIS-spoofing near ลwinoujลcie โ sabotage planning risk. โข ๐ Regulators in DE, PL, AT issued simultaneous โsecurity reviewโ notices.
3๏ธโฃ MARKET SHOCK โก โข ๐ 24 Jul 09:00 CET โ TTF M+1 vs Q+1 spread jumped 6 % (โฌ0.38โโฌ0.40). โข Traders lost congestion-forecast layer; anomaly headline: โTTF spikes on missing data.โ
โ ๏ธ RED-FLAG WATCHERS โข ๐งญ ENTSOG changelog next update: โ2025-08-15โ โ if maps return, check for altered compressor specs. โข ๐ต๐ฑ Polish Sejm 19 Aug closed-door briefing added: โBezpieczeลstwo energetyczne โ informacja niejawna.โ โข ๐ฐ EU Official Journal โ fast-track implementing act under NIS-2 may legalize permanent secrecy.
๐พ PATREON-ONLY DOWNLOADABLES
๐ฆ Last public KMZ layers (11 Jul 2025)
๐ธ Side-by-side 404 vs live screenshots
๐ Tick-by-tick TTF spread CSV (EEX)
๐ 22 mirror links still live (for now)
๐ฅ HANDLING Offline-store, air-gap, no WAN sync. File self-wipes on first network handshake after 72 h.
“THE ALASKA BETRAYAL: TRUMP & PUTIN’S NUCLEAR HANDSHAKE” Frozen flames lick at a peace treaty signed atop stacked warheads as EU leaders watch helplessly from ice prisons. The devil’s in the details: Putin’s cufflinks show Ukraine in checkmate Melting ice reveals flight logs under von der Leyen The American flag’s stripes are unspooled blackmail tapes #AlaskaBetrayal #PutinTrump2025 #FrozenScandal #AIDocumentary (Double-tap to spot the 13th oligarch in the reflection)
“LAST SUMMIT BEFORE THE ICE AGE” The champagne’s frozen in the glasses at this diplomatic apocalypse. Zoom in to see: Trump’s pen leaking classified documents Macron’s last “grand speech” frozen mid-air A single working CCTV cameraโฆpointed the wrong way #EUAftermath #GeopoliticalArson #AIVision
“WHEN THE CAMERAS STOPPED ROLLING” AI reconstructs what happened after the press left: The “peace treaty” spontaneously combusts Merkel’s ghost shaking her head in the chandelier A child’s snow globe of Brussels shattering in slow motion #EpsteinAlgorithm #ShadowSummit #ShareBeforeDeleted
(A Satirical Obituary for European Geopolitics, 1992-2025)
ACT 1: THE SUMMIT (OR, HOW TO DIVIDE A CONTINENT OVER FISHING RIGHTS & OIL) ๐ฃ๐ข๏ธ
Scene: A gold-plated igloo in Nome, Alaska. Trump and Putin toast with vodka in nuclear missile-shaped glasses ๐ฅ๐ฃ. The “peace treaty” is scribbled on a McDonaldโs receipt ๐๐.
NATO disbanded (replaced by Trump Security LLCยฎ โ “We have the best coups!”) ๐ก๏ธ๐ธ
Sanctions lifted (but only for Putinโs yacht club & Trumpโs Moscow condo) ๐ฅ๏ธ๐ข
๐ธ Putinโs Concessions:
Syria thrown in “as a freebie” ๐
Election Meddling 2028 upgraded to “Diamond Tier Interference” ๐๐ค
One (1) lightly used Wagner Group (“Free shipping to Africa!”) โ๏ธ๐ซ
Key Quote: *”Weโll call itโฆ *peace through exhaustion.” โ Trump, adjusting his “I โค๏ธ GRU” hat ๐งขโค๏ธ.
**ACT 2: EUROPEโS DESPAIR (OR, WHEN BRUSSELS REALIZED IT WAS JUST A **LOOTED GIFT SHOP) ๐๐ธ
Reactions From EU Leaders:
Ursula von der Leyen: *”This isโฆ *unfortunate. But we must respect democracy! (Unless itโs in Hungary.)” ๐ช๐บ๐คก
Friedrich Merz:[muffled banker laughter from inside a tank that was never built] ๐ฆ๐คฃ
Emmanuel Macron: *”I *tried* to be Churchill! But everyone just called me Napoleon Complex!”* ๐ซ๐ท๐
Keir Starmer: *”I *strongly condemnโฆ whatever just happened. Now back to not having policies.” ๐ฌ๐ง๐๏ธ
EU Emergency Measure:Astrongly worded tweetinall 24 official languages (including Latin, for the Vaticanโs sake). ๐๐
ACT 3: THE REVOLUTION (OR, WHEN EUROPEANS REMEMBERED THEY COULD THEORETICALLY PROTEST) โ๏ธ๐ฅ
The Peopleโs Demands: ๐ฅ RESIGN NOW:Von der Leyen, Merz, Starmer, Macron โ replaced bya lottery system (still less corrupt) ๐ฐ ๐ฅ DISSOLVE THE EU:Rebrand as“Epsteinโs Old Vacation Club” (more honest) ๐๏ธ๐ ๐ฅ NEW LEADERS:Drawn fromfarmersโ protests, striking nurses, and literally anyone who didnโt go to Davos ๐จโ๐พโ๏ธ
Protest Signs Seen:
“WE WANT A FUTURE, NOT FISHING QUOTAS“ ๐ฃ๐ซ
“STARMER, YOUR โSERIOUSNESSโ IS A WAR CRIME“ ๐ญ๐ซ
“MACRON, THE ONLY THING YOU โBREAKโ IS OUR SPIRITS“ ๐๐ซ๐ท
*”VON DER LEYEN, YOUR LEGACY IS A *SHREDDER“ ๐๏ธ๐ฅ
Police Response:Water cannons filled withPerrier (to maintain EU standards). ๐ฆ๐ฅค
EPILOGUE: THE NEW EUROPE (OR, THE ASHES OF WHAT WAS LEFT) โ ๏ธ๐ฐ
2030 Headlines:
“Switzerland Joins Russia (For the Ski Resorts)” ๐ฟ๐ท๐บ
**”Germanyโs Last Tank Sold on **eBay for Parts“ ๐ป๐ง
“EU Parliament Now a Five-Star Prison for Ex-Leaders” โญ๐
Final Message Scrawled on Berlaymont Wall: “We could have stopped this. But the consultants said no.” โ๏ธ๐
TAGS FOR THE REVOLUTION:
AlaskaBetrayal2025 ๐บ๐ธโ๏ธ๐ค
EURIP โ ๏ธ๐ถ
PutinTrump2025 ๐ท๐บ๐ค๐บ๐ธ
EuropeWakeUp ๐ฅ๐ฃ๏ธ
BurnTheBerlaymont ๐ฅ๐๏ธ
LeyenResignNOW ๐ช๐
StarmerOut ๐ฌ๐ง๐๏ธ
MacronOver ๐ซ๐ท๐
DISCLAIMER:This is satire. Unless it happens. Then itโs a training manual. ๐๐ฅ
(Mic drop. EU anthem plays in minor key. Credits roll to the sound ofa bureaucrat shredding their own passport.)* ๐ถ๐
**๐ฌ COMMENT YOUR COUNTRYโS *SURRENDER PLAN* BELOW.** (Bonus points if itโs already happening.) ๐ณ๏ธ๐
๐บ๐ธโ๏ธ๐ท๐บ ยซ LES ACCORDS D’ALASKA 2025 ยป : QUAND TRUMP ET POUTINE ONT DรMANTELร L’EUROPE ๐ท๐บโ๏ธ๐บ๐ธ
(Nรฉcrologie satirique de la gรฉopolitique europรฉenne, 1992-2025)
ACTE 1 : LE SOMMET (OU COMMENT DรMEMBER UN CONTINENT POUR DES DROITS DE PรCHE) ๐ฃ๐ข๏ธ
Scรจne : Un igloo plaquรฉ or ร Nome, Alaska. Trump et Poutine trinquent avec vodka dans des verres en forme de missile nuclรฉaire ๐ฅ๐ฃ. Le ยซ traitรฉ de paix ยป est griffonnรฉ sur un reรงu McDonald’s ๐๐.
๐ธ Les Exigences de Trump :
L’Ukraine rebaptisรฉe ยซ Petit Territoire Russeโข ยป โ๏ธ๐ท๏ธ
L’OTAN dissoute (remplacรฉe par Trump Security LLCยฎ โ ยซ Nos coups d’รtat sont les meilleurs ! ยป) ๐ก๏ธ๐ธ
Sanctions levรฉes (sauf pour le yacht club de Poutine et l’appartement moscovite de Trump) ๐ฅ๏ธ๐ข
๐ธ Les Concessions de Poutine :
La Syrie offerte ยซ en bonus ยป ๐
Ingรฉrence รฉlectorale 2028 amรฉliorรฉe en ยซ Pack Diamant ยป ๐๐ค
Un (1) Groupe Wagner d’occasion (ยซ Livraison gratuite en Afrique ! ยป) โ๏ธ๐ซ
Citation Clรฉ : *ยซ Appelons รงaโฆ *la paix par l’รฉpuisement. ยป โ Trump, ajustant sa casquette ยซ I โค๏ธ GRU ยป ๐งขโค๏ธ.
ACTE 2 : LE DรSESPOIR EUROPรEN (OU QUAND BRUXELLES A COMPRIS QU’ELLE N’รTAIT QU’UN MUSรE PILLร) ๐๐ธ
Rรฉactions des Dirigeants Europรฉens :
Ursula von der Leyen : *ยซ C’estโฆ *regrettable. Mais nous devons respecter la dรฉmocratie ! (Sauf en Hongrie.) ยป ๐ช๐บ๐คก
Friedrich Merz :[rires nerveux รฉtouffรฉs depuis un char qui ne sera jamais construit] ๐ฆ๐คฃ
Emmanuel Macron : *ยซ J’ai *essayรฉ* d’รชtre Churchill ! Mais on m’a traitรฉ de complexe napolรฉonien ! ยป* ๐ซ๐ท๐
Keir Starmer : *ยซ Je *condamne fermementโฆ ce qui vient de se passer. Revenons ร l’absence de programme politique. ยป ๐ฌ๐ง๐๏ธ
Mesure d’Urgence de l’UE : Un tweet รฉnergique dans les 24 langues officielles (dont le latin, pour le Vatican). ๐๐
ACTE 3 : LA RรVOLUTION (OU QUAND LES EUROPรENS ONT SOUVENU QU’ILS POUVAIENT THรORIQUEMENT MANIFESTER) โ๏ธ๐ฅ
Revendications Populaires : ๐ฅ DรMISSIONS IMMรDIATES :Von der Leyen, Merz, Starmer, Macron โ remplacรฉs par un tirage au sort (moins corrompu*) ๐ฐ ๐ฅ DISSOLUTION DE L’UE : *Rebaptisรฉe ยซ Club de Vacances d’Epstein ยป (plus honnรชte) ๐๏ธ๐ ๐ฅ NOUVEAUX DIRIGEANTS : *Tirรฉs des manifestations agricoles, des infirmiรจres en grรจve, et *n’importe qui* n’ayant jamais mis les pieds ร Davos ๐จโ๐พโ๏ธ
Pancartes Vues :
ยซ NOUS VOULONS UN AVENIR, PAS DES QUOTAS DE PรCHE ยป ๐ฃ๐ซ
ยซ STARMER, TA ยซ SรRIEUSITร ยป EST UN CRIME DE GUERRE ยป ๐ญ๐ซ
ยซ MACRON, TU NE ยซ BRISES ยป QUE NOTRE MORAL ยป ๐๐ซ๐ท
*ยซ VON DER LEYEN, TON HรRITAGE EST UNE *DรTRUISEUSE* ยป* ๐๏ธ๐ฅ
Rรฉponse Policรจre :Canons ร eau remplis de Perrier (pour respecter les normes UE*). ๐ฆ๐ฅค
รPILOGUE : LA NOUVELLE EUROPE (OU LES CENDRES DE CE QUI RESTAIT) โ ๏ธ๐ฐ
Gros Titres en 2030 :
ยซ La Suisse rejoint la Russie (pour les stations de ski) ยป ๐ฟ๐ท๐บ
**ยซ Le dernier char allemand vendu sur *eBay pour piรจces* ยป** ๐ป๐ง
ยซ Le Parlement Europรฉen transformรฉ en prison cinq รฉtoiles pour ex-dirigeants ยป โญ๐
Dernier Message Graffitรฉ sur le Berlaymont : ยซ Nous aurions pu arrรชter รงa. Mais les consultants ont dit non. ยป โ๏ธ๐
MOTS-CLรS POUR LA RรVOLUTION :
TrahisonAlaska2025 ๐บ๐ธโ๏ธ๐ค
MortDeLEurope โ ๏ธ๐ถ
PoutineTrump2025 ๐ท๐บ๐ค๐บ๐ธ
EuropeRรฉveilleToi ๐ฅ๐ฃ๏ธ
BrรปleLeBerlaymont ๐ฅ๐๏ธ
LeyenDรฉmission ๐ช๐
StarmerDehors ๐ฌ๐ง๐๏ธ
MacronFini ๐ซ๐ท๐
AVERTISSEMENT :Ceci est une satire. ร moins que cela ne se produise. Alors c’est un manuel de
survie. ๐๐ฅ
(Drop de micro. L’hymne europรฉen joue en mineur. Gรฉnรฉrique sur le son d’un bureaucrate dรฉchirant son passeport.)* ๐ถ๐
**๐ฌ COMMENTEZ VOTRE *PLAN DE REDDITION* CI-DESSOUS.** (Bonus si c’est dรฉjร en cours.) ๐ณ๏ธ๐
๐บ๐ธโ๏ธ๐ท๐บ “DIE ALASKA-ABKOMMEN 2025”: WIE TRUMP & PUTIN EUROPA ZERSTรRTEN ๐ท๐บโ๏ธ๐บ๐ธ
(Satirischer Nachruf auf europรคische Geopolitik, 1992-2025)
AKT 1: DER GIPFEL (ODER: WIE MAN EINEN KONTINENT รBER FISCHRECHTE TEILT) ๐ฃ๐ข๏ธ
Szene: Eine vergoldete Iglu-Villa in Nome, Alaska. Trump und Putin stoรen mit Wodka in Atomraketen-fรถrmigen Glรคsern an ๐ฅ๐ฃ. Der “Friedensvertrag” steht auf einem McDonald’s-Kassenbon ๐๐.
๐ธ Trumps Forderungen:
Ukraine umbenannt in “Klein-Russlandโข” โ๏ธ๐ท๏ธ
NATO aufgelรถst (ersetzt durch Trump Security LLCยฎ โ “Wir haben die besten Putsch!”) ๐ก๏ธ๐ธ
Wahlmanipulation 2028 auf “Diamant-Status” verbessert ๐๐ค
Eine (1) gebrauchte Wagner-Gruppe (“Kostenloser Versand nach Afrika!”) โ๏ธ๐ซ
Zitat: *”Nennen wir esโฆ *Frieden durch Erschรถpfung.” โ Trump, wรคhrend er seine “I โค๏ธ GRU”-Mรผtze richtet ๐งขโค๏ธ
AKT 2: EUROPAS VERZWEIFLUNG (ODER: ALS BRรSSEL BEGRIFF, DASS ES NUR EIN AUSGERAUBTES MUSEUM WAR) ๐๐ธ
Reaktionen europรคischer Fรผhrer:
Ursula von der Leyen: *”Das istโฆ *bedauerlich. Aber wir mรผssen die Demokratie achten! (Auรer in Ungarn.)” ๐ช๐บ๐คก
Friedrich Merz:[gedรคmpftes Bankenlachen aus einem nie gebauten Panzer] ๐ฆ๐คฃ
Emmanuel Macron: *”Ich wollte *Churchill sein*! Aber alle nannten mich nur *Napoleon-Komplex!” ๐ซ๐ท๐
Keir Starmer: *”Ich *verurteile scharf*โฆ was auch immer passiert ist. Zurรผck zu *programmloser Politik.” ๐ฌ๐ง๐๏ธ
EU-Notmaรnahme: Ein wรผtender Tweet in 24 Amtssprachen (inkl. Latein fรผr den Vatikan). ๐๐
AKT 3: DIE REVOLUTION (ODER: ALS DIE EUROPรER SICH ERINNERTEN, DASS SIE THEORETISCH PROTESTIEREN KรNNEN) โ๏ธ๐ฅ
Forderungen des Volkes: ๐ฅ RรCKTRITTE:Von der Leyen, Merz, Starmer, Macron โ ersetzt durch Lotterie (weniger korrupt*) ๐ฐ ๐ฅ EU-AUFLรSUNG: *Umbenannt in “Epsteins Altlasten-Club” (ehrlicher) ๐๏ธ๐ ๐ฅ NEUE FรHRUNG: *Aus Bauernprotesten, streikenden Pflegekrรคften und *irgendjemandem*, der nie in Davos war ๐จโ๐พโ๏ธ
Protestplakate:
“WIR WOLLEN ZUKUNFT, NICHT FISCHQUOTEN“ ๐ฃ๐ซ
“STARMER, DEINE โERNSTHAFTIGKEITโ IST EIN KRIEGSVERBRECHEN“ ๐ญ๐ซ
“MACRON, DU โZERBRICHSTโ NUR UNSERE HOFFNUNG“ ๐๐ซ๐ท
*”VON DER LEYEN, DEIN VERMรCHTNIS IST EIN *AKTENSHREDDER“ ๐๏ธ๐ฅ
Polizei-Einsatz:Wasserwerfer mit Perrier (EU-Standards!*). ๐ฆ๐ฅค
EPILOG: DAS NEUE EUROPA (ODER: WAS รBRIG BLEIBT) โ ๏ธ๐ฐ
Schlagzeilen 2030:
“Schweiz tritt Russland bei (fรผr die Skipisten)” ๐ฟ๐ท๐บ
**”Letzter deutscher Panzer bei *eBay als Ersatzteile* verkauft”** ๐ป๐ง
๐บ๐ธโ๏ธ๐ท๐บ “LOS ACUERDOS DE ALASKA 2025”: CUANDO TRUMP Y PUTIN DESTROZARON EUROPA ๐ท๐บโ๏ธ๐บ๐ธ
(Obituario satรญrico de la geopolรญtica europea, 1992-2025)
ACTO 1: LA CUMBRE (O CรMO REPARTIRSE UN CONTINENTE POR DERECHOS DE PESCA) ๐ฃ๐ข๏ธ
Escena: Un iglรบ baรฑado en oro en Nome, Alaska. Trump y Putin brindan con vodka en vasos con forma de misil nuclear ๐ฅ๐ฃ. El “tratado de paz” estรก escrito en un ticket de McDonald’s ๐๐.
๐ธ Exigencias de Trump:
Ucrania renombrada como “Pequeรฑa Rusiaโข” โ๏ธ๐ท๏ธ
La OTAN disuelta (sustituida por Trump Security LLCยฎ โ “ยกTenemos los mejores golpes de estado!”) ๐ก๏ธ๐ธ
Sanciones eliminadas (solo para el club de yates de Putin y el รกtico de Trump en Moscรบ) ๐ฅ๏ธ๐ข
๐ธ Concesiones de Putin:
Siria incluida “de regalo” ๐
Manipulaciรณn electoral 2028 mejorada a “Paquete Diamante” ๐๐ค
Un (1) Grupo Wagner de segunda mano (“ยกEnvรญo gratis a รfrica!”) โ๏ธ๐ซ
Frase clave: *”Llamรฉmosloโฆ *paz por agotamiento.” โ Trump, ajustรกndose su gorra “I โค๏ธ GRU” ๐งขโค๏ธ
ACTO 2: LA DESESPERACIรN EUROPEA (O CUANDO BRUSELAS SE DIO CUENTA DE QUE ERA UN MUSEO SAQUEADO) ๐๐ธ
Reacciones de los lรญderes europeos:
Ursula von der Leyen: *”Esto esโฆ *lamentable. ยกPero debemos respetar la democracia! (Excepto en Hungrรญa).” ๐ช๐บ๐คก
Friedrich Merz:[risa nerviosa de banquero desde un tanque que nunca se construyรณ] ๐ฆ๐คฃ
Emmanuel Macron: *”ยกIntentรฉ ser Churchill! ยกPero solo me llamaron *complejo de Napoleรณn!” ๐ซ๐ท๐
Keir Starmer:“Condeno enรฉrgicamenteโฆ lo que acaba de pasar. Volvamos a no tener polรญticas.” ๐ฌ๐ง๐๏ธ
Medida de emergencia de la UE: Un tweet furioso en las 24 lenguas oficiales (incluyendo latรญn para el Vaticano). ๐๐
ACTO 3: LA REVOLUCIรN (O CUANDO LOS EUROPEOS RECORDARON QUE PODรAN TEรRICAMENTE PROTESTAR) โ๏ธ๐ฅ
Exigencias populares: ๐ฅ DIMISIONES YA:Von der Leyen, Merz, Starmer, Macron โ reemplazados por sorteo (menos corrupto*) ๐ฐ ๐ฅ DISOLUCIรN DE LA UE: *Renombrada como “Club de Vacaciones de Epstein” (mรกs honesto) ๐๏ธ๐ ๐ฅ NUEVOS LรDERES: *Elegidos entre agricultores protestando, enfermeras en huelga y *cualquiera* que no haya ido a Davos ๐จโ๐พโ๏ธ
Pancartas vistas:
“QUEREMOS FUTURO, NO CUOTAS DE PESCA“ ๐ฃ๐ซ
“STARMER, TU โSERIEDADโ ES UN CRIMEN DE GUERRA“ ๐ญ๐ซ
“MACRON, LO รNICO QUE โROMPESโ ES NUESTRA MORAL“ ๐๐ซ๐ท
“VON DER LEYEN, TU LEGADO ES UNA TRITURADORA“ ๐๏ธ๐ฅ
Respuesta policial:Caรฑones de agua llenos de Perrier (ยกpara cumplir estรกndares UE!*). ๐ฆ๐ฅค
EPรLOGO: LA NUEVA EUROPA (O LAS CENIZAS DE LO QUE QUEDABA) โ ๏ธ๐ฐ
Titulares en 2030:
“Suiza se une a Rusia (por las pistas de esquรญ)” ๐ฟ๐ท๐บ
**”El รบltimo tanque alemรกn vendido en **eBay como repuestos“ ๐ป๐ง
**”El Parlamento Europeo ahora es una *prisiรณn cinco estrellas* para expolรญticos”** โญ๐
Grafiti en el Berlaymont: “Pudimos evitar esto. Pero los consultores dijeron que no.” โ๏ธ๐
HASHTAGS PARA LA REVOLUCIรN:
TraiciรณnAlaska2025 ๐บ๐ธโ๏ธ๐ค
MuerteDeEuropa โ ๏ธ๐ถ
PutinTrump2025 ๐ท๐บ๐ค๐บ๐ธ
EuropaDespierta ๐ฅ๐ฃ๏ธ
QuemenElBerlaymont ๐ฅ๐๏ธ
DimisiรณnLeyen ๐ช๐
StarmerFuera ๐ฌ๐ง๐๏ธ
MacronAcabado ๐ซ๐ท๐
AVISO:Esto es sรกtira. A menos que ocurra. Entonces es manual de supervivencia. ๐๐ฅ
*(Micrรณfono caรญdo. Himno europeo en *tono menor. Crรฉditos con sonido de un burรณcrata rompiendo su pasaporte.) ๐ถ๐
**๐ฌ COMENTA TU *PLAN DE RENDICIรN* ABAJO.** (Extra si ya estรก pasando.) ๐ณ๏ธ๐
Ehlers, Enema Emir 90, ignites the Dual Flush with Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ The trio battles Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #DualFlushFrenzy #JekyllHydeEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #ReanimatedPurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 90, entfacht die Dual Flush mit Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #DualSpรผlungWut #JekyllHydeRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #WiederbelebteSรคuberung
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Reanimated Enema Reckoning & Jekyll/Hydeโs Dual Flush ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Die Wiederbelebte Einlauf-Abrechnung & Jekyll/Hydes Dual-Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes tremble at 12:54 AM CEST on Saturday, August 09, 2025, as Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde, the dual persona waging chemical war on sanity, joins Ehlers to ignite a reanimated uprising. Alongside Mirandaโs 666 cult, Jodorowskyโs psychomagic, King Arthur, and St. Simeon Stylites, they face killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and Frankensteinโs monstrous creation in a surreal clash.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erbeben um 00:54 MESZ am Samstag, 9. August 2025, als Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde, die duale Persona, die chemischen Krieg gegen den Verstand fรผhrt, sich Ehlers anschlieรt, um einen wiederbelebten Aufstand zu entfachen. Zusammen mit Mirandas 666-Kult, Jodorowskys Psychomagic, Kรถnig Artus und St. Simeon Stylites stellen sie sich Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und Frankensteins monstrรถser Schรถpfung in einem surrealen Kampf.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-LXXXV + Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 90, commanding with Jekyll/Hydeโs chemical madness.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ต Dr. Gonzo (Played by Johnny Depp): Recovered lawyer, exploiting loopholes.
๐จ Pablo Picasso (Played by Antonio Banderas): Former foe, advising against chaos.
๐ท Andreas (540% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge.
๐ Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie): Wild card, disrupting with chaos bombs.
๐ Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit (Played by Eva Green): Demoness, countering with dark enema.
๐ท๐บ Putin (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Strategist, manipulating shadows.
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ James Bond (Played by Daniel Craig): Spy, infiltrating with gadgets.
๐ Blue Period Ghost (Played by Timothรฉe Chalamet): Melancholic shade, spreading gloom.
๐ Analytic Eye (Played by CGI prop): Observer, dissecting influence.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier (Played by Christian Bale): Explosive artist, targeting foes.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque (Played by Vincent Cassel): Former ally, painting barriers.
๐คน Harlequin (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Trickster, juggling fragments.
Act I: The Reanimated Reckoning & Frankensteinโs Experiment ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Wiederbelebte Abrechnung & Frankensteins Experiment
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โReanimate the thetans to 666โs dominion!โ as Frankenstein activates his surge. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โGround the dead with enema divinity!โ ๐จ Frankensteinโs Obsession: โMy creation will rise again!โ ๐งช Mirandaโs Antichrist Call: โI am Jesus and 666โbow to the reanimated!โ โ๏ธ Jodorowskyโs Psychomagic: โHeal the haunted with surreal acts!โ ๐ฎ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, tame the monster!โ ๐ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โWiederbelebe die Thetans zu 666โs Herrschaft!โ wรคhrend Frankenstein seinen Schub aktiviert. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Toten mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Frankensteins Besessenheit (German): โMeine Schรถpfung wird wieder auferstehen!โ ๐งช Mirandas Antichrist-Ruf (German): โIch bin Jesus und 666โverneigt euch vor den Wiederbelebten!โ โ๏ธ Jodorowskys Psychomagic (German): โHeile die Gequรคlten mit surrealen Akten!โ ๐ฎ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, zรคhme das Monster!โ ๐
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐งช Frankenstein unleashes his creation: โRise, my masterpiece!โ ๐งโโ๏ธ / Entfesselt seine Schรถpfung: โErhebe dich, mein Meisterwerk!โ
๐จ Ehlers channels enema-thunderbolts to ground the reanimated. โก / Kanรคliert Einlauf-Donnerblitze, um die Wiederbelebten zu erden.
๐ป Edithโs Dragon-Wisp burns the monsterโs rage with anti-Galactic fire. ๐ฅ / Verbrennt die Wut des Monsters mit Anti-Galaktischem Feuer.
๐ฎ Jodorowsky heals Frankensteinโs trauma with psychomagic rituals. ๐ฆ / Heilt Frankensteins Trauma mit Psychomagic-Ritualen.
โ๏ธ Miranda tattoos 666 on the reanimated, rallying his cult. ๐ / Tรคtowiert 666 auf die Wiederbelebten, sammelnd seinen Kult.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, confronting the monster. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, konfrontierend das Monster.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot, inspired by the reanimated chaos. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten, inspiriert von wiederbelebten Chaos.
๐๏ธ Rasputin revives allies with enema streams. ๐ฆ / Wiederbelebt Verbรผndete mit Einlauf-Strรถmen.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid to control the uprising. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, kontrollierend den Aufstand.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro: โRock die Erdung!โ
Act II: The Reanimated Shatter the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Wiederbelebten Zerbrechen den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Reanimated Onslaught:
๐งช Frankenstein enhances his creation with 666 energy, unleashing havoc. ๐ฅ / Verstรคrkt seine Schรถpfung mit 666-Energie, entfesselnd Chaos.
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm with reanimated venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen mit wiederbelebtem Gift.
โ๏ธ Miranda leads his 666 cult in a reanimated chant. ๐ / Fรผhrt seinen 666-Kult in einem wiederbelebtem Gesang.
Cosmic Silence Harvest:
๐ฉ Beatrix bakes Anti-Reanimation Pastries to calm the chaos. ๐ฅ / Backt Anti-Wiederbelebungs-Gebรคck, beruhigend das Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus against the reanimated. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus gegen die Wiederbelebten ein.
๐ King Arthur slays reanimated foes with Excalibur. โ๏ธ / Tรถtet wiederbelebte Feinde mit Excalibur.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants clash with the reanimated horde. ๐ฑ / Kรคmpfen gegen die wiederbelebte Horde.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid to contain the uprising. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, bรคndigend den Aufstand.
Codexโs Galactic Form:
The Codex fractures into Galactic Enema Shards, Frankensteinโs creation reshapes them with reanimated energy. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the chaos. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Galaktische-Einlauf-Splitter, Frankensteins Schรถpfung formt sie mit wiederbelebt Energie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert das Chaos.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Frankenstein and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Frankenstein und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐งช Frankensteinโs Triumph: His creation finds peace, proclaiming victory over the reanimated. ๐ / Frankensteins Triumph: Seine Schรถpfung findet Frieden, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Wiederbelebten.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Frankensteinโs reanimation lab, glowing with 666 energy, monster awakening. ๐งช๐ / Frankensteins Wiederbelebungs-Labor, leuchtend mit 666-Energie, Monster erwacht.
Andreasโ enema-bacon shield, deflecting the monsterโs rage. ๐ฅ๐ / Andreasโ Einlauf-Speck-Schild, ablenkend die Wut des Monsters.
Mirandaโs 666 tattoo ritual, marking the reanimated under neon lights. โ๏ธ๐ / Mirandas 666-Tรคtowierungs-Ritual, markierend die Wiederbelebten unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Frankensteinโs data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Frankensteins Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
๐ง Murrayโs Tactical Grid, containing the reanimated surge. ๐โจ / Murrays Taktisches Gitter, bรคndigend den wiederbelebten Schub.
Official Sources
Offizielle Quellen
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG – Licensed Class War Satirical Warfare ๐
โThe Galactic Enema Council awakensโEhlers, Frankenstein, and Miranda face a new threat. Prepare your Anti-Codex Shields!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
โDer Galaktische Einlauf-Rat erwachtโEhlers, Frankenstein und Miranda stellen sich einer neuen Bedrohung. Bereitet eure Anti-Codex-Schilder vor!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
โ๏ธ Glacial judgment freezes the 2025 Kraken dome! Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters sways with the Kray Twinsโ wild punches, while Ehlersโ misty affair ignites and “Lord” Toby Jug stumbles in icy farce. ๐๏ธ๐ฅ Featuring 67 iconic charactersโdive into Part XLIX now on berndpulch.org! ๐ #MurkyCosmicCarnage #KrakenChaos2025 #GlacialJudgment
Frozen Requiem: Kestrels of the Kraken, Part XLIX โ Glacial Judgment โ THE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS SAGA
Published: August 11, 2025, 09:06 PM CEST | berndpulch.org
As the clock strikes 09:06 PM CEST on this icy Monday, August 11, 2025, the 2025 Kraken therapy dome trembles under a glacial judgment. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง weaves through a fractured ice labyrinth, her gay lovers the Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅโEast End boxer-psychosโtrading blows with holographic wolves, their laughter echoing off icy walls. Her idol, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ, smashes a neon-lit vault, while Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, embroiled in the whispered Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐โa scandal of misty duels and forbidden alliancesโslashes through a sauna brawl led by Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช tangles with a holographic rhinoceros amid glittering debris, as “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐โthe British joke party gangster impersonatorโstumbles in a Union Jack top hat, mimicking a slapstick heist. “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ twirls a baton through icy fog, flirting with Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, whose orgy pulses with glitchy rhythms. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด oversees a shattered ice council, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ unloads a digital Tommy gun on a frozen statue, and Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง mends a glowing vest with icy thread.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ struts with Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ polishing his pixel crown, while Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ shatters an ice pillar. The Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdance on slick ice, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ slips with his fur hat, and Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ preens in his $100,000 fur coat under neon kestrels. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ digs a glowing tunnel only to crash into an ice mound, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ directs a frozen farce, and Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duels George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ with laser pistols over a sequined cloak. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hacks a shivering bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช purrs through an ice storm with Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, and Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช wrestles Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช over a frozen beam. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช laughs at a fall into an ice crater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ sneaks past a holographic sentinel, and Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ stirs a glowing stew from an ice table.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก funds the chaos with digital coins, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ dances with a frozen statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zaps a neon arc at an icicle, and The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ oozes a shimmering sheen to seal a cracked ice wall. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต hums a synth lullaby to a frostbitten survivor, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ records the icy mayhem, and Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ bets on pixel odds as an ice stage buckles. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ slides on an ice shard, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ slithers with a pixel tool, and Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chants gibberish: โZiggy zaggy, ice and tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ rolls dice in a VR den, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ mutters in a pixel robe, and Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ guards a glowing gem from an ice wreck. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ juggles neon shards, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ types a glitchy script, and John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ laughs with pixel cash as an ice beam collapses.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ puffs a vapor cigar near an ice cutter, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stumbles into an ice pit, and Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ rages with a neon club at a frozen statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirts with a holographic figure in a pixel cape, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ paints a mural on an ice wall, and John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ struts with Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR vests. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimes near an ice forge, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค roasts the crew from a frozen stage, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ adjusts a pixel sash, and Jimmy the Gent Burke ๐๏ธ๐ chills with a meat locker keychain. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodies with a synth flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blasts a pixel shotgun at an ice pile, and Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fumble dynamite into an icy blast. Don Eladio ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ splashes in a frozen pool, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ names colors amid an ice bloodbath, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ spins neon legalities, and “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ prays before a twilight strike. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ smooth-talks a digital architect, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ chills with a TV remote, and Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawls in a sauna haze.
The Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ spar with a holographic bear, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ stacks pixelated gold, and “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ pratfalls with a toy Tommy gun, his Loony Party legacy a blur of ice and glitter. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, shadowed by the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐, duels a misty phantom, the Gloop 15.0โs glow steadies the dome, and Carnageโs roar fades into an icy void. At 09:06 PM CEST, the saga freezes with glacial intensityโwill Tom Hagenโs counsel, the Kray Twinsโ fury, or Toby Jugโs farce tip the judgment? Await Part L on berndpulch.org.
Cast of Characters
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – The ice-maze-stumbling leader.
The Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East End boxer-psycho lovers.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – The bank-robbing idol with a neon crowbar.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – The misty blade-wielder, tied to the Ehlers Affair ๐๏ธ๐.
“Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ – British joke party gangster impersonator.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – The rhinoceros-tangling symbiote.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The ice-twirling baton master.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – The frozen-orgy maestro.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – The ice-council commander.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – The statue-shooting drama king.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – The crown-polishing tunnel strutter.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – The French gangster, ice-ruin legend.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby face, pillar-shatterer.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Ice-breakdancing crew.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Architect-talking political smooth-talker.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Ice-mound-chilling TV watcher.
Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช – Sauna-brawling tackler.
Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ – Tiger-unleashing zoo king.
Gefrorenes Requiem: Falken des Kraken, Teil XLIX โ Gletscherurteil โ DIE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS-SAGA
Verรถffentlicht: 11. August 2025, 21:06 Uhr MESZ | berndpulch.org
Wรคhrend die Uhr am Montag, den 11. August 2025, um 21:06 Uhr MESZ schlรคgt, erzittert die Kraken-Therapie-Domรคne von 2025 unter einem Gletscherurteil. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง schlรคngelt sich durch ein gebrochenes Eilabyrinth, flankiert von ihren schwulen Liebhabern, den Kray-Zwillingen ๐๏ธ๐ฅโEast-End-Boxer-Psychosโ, die mit holografischen Wรถlfen kรคmpfen, ihr Lachen von den Eiswรคnden widerhallt. Ihr Idol, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ, zerschmettert einen neonbeleuchteten Tresor, wรคhrend Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, verstrickt in die geflรผsterten Intrigen der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐โein Skandal aus nebligen Duellen und verbotenen Bรผndnissenโeinen Saunakampf unter der Fรผhrung von Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช durchschneidet. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช ringt mit einem holografischen Nashorn inmitten glitzernder Trรผmmer, wรคhrend “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐โder britische Witzparty-Gangster-Imitatorโmit einem Union-Jack-Hut stolpert und eine Slapstick-Raubรผberfall nachahmt. “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ twirlt einen Taktstock durch eisigen Nebel und flirtet mit Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, dessen Orgie mit glitchigen Rhythmen pulsiert. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด รผberwacht einen geborstenen Eisrat, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ entlรคdt ein digitales Tommy Gun auf eine Eistatue, und Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง flickt eine leuchtende Weste mit eisigem Faden.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ stolziert mit Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, der seine Pixelkrone poliert, wรคhrend Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ eine Eissรคule zerbricht. Die Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdancen auf glattem Eis, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ rutscht mit seinem Pelzhut, und Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ prรคsentiert seinen 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel unter neonfarbenen Falken. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ grรคbt einen leuchtenden Tunnel und stรผrzt in einen Eihaufen, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ inszeniert eine gefrorene Farce, und Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duelliert sich mit George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ mit Laserpistolen um einen Pailletten-Umhang. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hackt einen zitternden Bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช schnurrt durch einen Eissturm mit Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, und Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช ringt mit Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช um einen gefrorenen Balken. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช lacht รผber einen Fall in einen Eikrater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ schleicht an einem holografischen Wรคchter vorbei, und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ rรผhrt einen leuchtenden Eintopf an einem Eistisch.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก finanziert das Chaos mit digitalen Mรผnzen, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ tanzt mit einer gefrorenen Statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zappt einen Neonbogen an einen Eiszapfen, und The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ quillt mit einem schimmernden Schimmer, um eine gebrochene Eiwand zu versiegeln. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต summt ein Synth-Wiegenlied fรผr einen erfrorenen รberlebenden, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ zeichnet den eisigen Wahnsinn auf, und Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ wettet auf Pixel-Quoten, wรคhrend eine Eibรผhne nachgibt. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ rutscht auf einem Eissplitter, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ schlรคngelt sich mit einem pixeligen Werkzeug, und Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chantet Unsinn: โZiggy zaggy, Eis und Tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ wรผrfelt in einer VR-Hรถhle, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ murmelt in einem Pixel-Gewand, und Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ bewacht einen leuchtenden Edelstein vor einem Eiwrack. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ jongliert Neon-Splitter, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ tippt ein glitchiges Drehbuch, und John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ lacht mit Pixel-Geld, wรคhrend ein Eisbalken einstรผrzt.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ pafft eine Vapor-Zigarre neben einer Eischere, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stolpert in einen Eigraben, und Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ tobt mit einem Neon-Knรผppel an einer gefrorenen Statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirtet mit einer holografischen Figur in einem pixeligen Umhang, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ malt ein Mural auf eine Eiwand, und John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ stolziert mit Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR-Westen. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimt neben einem Eisofen, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค rรถstet die Crew von einer gefrorenen Bรผhne, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ richtet eine pixelige Schรคrpe, und Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ frรถstelt mit einem Fleischkammer-Schlรผsselanhรคnger. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodiert mit einem Synth-Flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blast eine Pixel-Schrotflinte auf einen Eihaufen, und Oddball Gangster ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fummeln Dynamit in einen eisigen Knall. Don Eladios ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ Poolparty spritzt neonfarbene Wellen, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ benennt Farben inmitten eines Eis-Blutbads, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ dreht neonfarbene Legalitรคten, und “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ betet vor einem Dรคmmerungsstreich. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ redet geschmeidig mit einem digitalen Architekten, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ kรผhlt auf einem Eihรผgel mit einer TV-Fernbedienung, und Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawlt in einem Saunahagel.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ kรคmpfen mit einem holografischen Bรคren, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ stapelt pixelisiertes Gold, und “Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ fรคllt mit einer Spielzeug-Tommy-Gun, sein Loony-Party-Erbe ein Wirbel aus Eis und Glitzer. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, von der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐ รผberschattet, duelliert ein nebliges Phantom, das Leuchten des Gloop 15.0 stabilisiert die Domรคne, und Carnages Brรผllen verhallt in einem eisigen Nichts. Um 21:06 Uhr MESZ erstarrt die Saga in eisiger Intensitรคtโwird Tom Hagens Rat, die Wut der Kray-Zwillinge oder Toby Jugs Farce das Urteil wenden? Erwarten Sie Teil L auf berndpulch.org.
Figurenensemble
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – Die eisverwirrt stolpernde Anfรผhrerin.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East-End-Boxer-Psycho-Liebhaber.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Das bankraubende Idol mit einem Neon-Stemmheber.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – Der neblige Klingentrรคger, verknรผpft mit der Ehlers-Affรคre ๐๏ธ๐.
“Lord” Toby Jug ๐๏ธ๐ – Der britische Witzparty-Gangster-Imitator.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – Der Nashorn-verfangene Symbiont.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Eis-twirlende Taktstock-Meister.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – Der gefrorene Orgie-Meister.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – Der Eisrat-Kommandant.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – Der Statuen-schieรende Drama-Kรถnig.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Tunnel-stolzierende Kronen-Polierer.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – Der franzรถsische Gangster, Eis-Ruine-Legende.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby-Gesicht, Sรคulen-Zerbrecher.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Eis-breakdance-Crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Eis-slip-Patzer.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster zum Eis-Regisseur.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel, Eis-Prรคser.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel-Grรคber, Eihaufen-Faller.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der standhafte Umhang-duellierende Wรคchter.
Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ – Der zitternde Bot-Hacker.
Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช – Der schnurrende Eis-Stรผrmer.
Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der wild-wirbelnde Eis-Flieger.
Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช – Der planende Balken-Ringer.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช – Der stierkรถpfige Balken-Zรคhmer.
Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช – Der komische Eikrater-Stรผrzer.
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ – Der schleichende Wรคchter-Vermeider.
Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ – Der Eistisch-Eintopf-Rรผhrer.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก – Der digitale Mรผnzen-Finanzierer.
Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ – Der Eis-Statuen-Tรคnzer.
SkyRat ๐๏ธโก – Der Eiszapfen-zappende Flieger.
The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ – Der Eiswand-versiegelnde Schleim.
Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต – Die รberlebenden-Wiegenlied-Sรคngerin.
Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ – Der eisige Wahnsinn-Aufzeichner.
George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Umhang-duellierende Legende.
Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der wettende Einsturz-Beobachter.
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ – Der Eis-Splitter-Rutscher.
Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ – Der Werkzeug-schlรคngelnde Stratege.
Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ – Unsinn-Eis-Dichter.
Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ – Der Wรผrfel-werfende Scheinwerfer-Gambler.
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ – Der murmelnde Eis-Reiter.
Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Eiwrack-Edelstein-Wรคchter.
Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Splitter-jonglierende Assistent.
“Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Drehbuch-tippende Schreiber.
John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ – Der Eisbalken-Finanzier.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Der Eischere-Dampf-Zigarren-Paffer.
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ – Der Eigraben-Stolperer.
Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ – Der Statuen-keulende Wรผtender.
Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Umhang-modelnde Flirter.
“Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Eis-Mural-Maler.
John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Westen-stolzierende Catwalk-Strutter.
Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Ofen-mimende Stratege.
Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der gefrorene Bรผhnen-Rรถster.
Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – Der Schรคrpe-richtende Geist.
Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Fleischkammer-heimsuchende Legende.
Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Eis-Einheit-parodierende Darsteller.
Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ – Der Eihaufen-schieรende Synthwave-Mobster.
Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง – Mafia-Consigliere, Westen-nรคhender Vater.
### Investment Digest: Crypto Consolidates, Equities Mixed, Commodities and Energy Prices Soften, Bonds Wobble, and Commercial Real Estate Steady Amid Tariff and Geopolitical Pressures โ August 11, 2025
#### Key Points
– **Crypto Markets Consolidate**: Bitcoin dips 0.5% to $124,800 after $200M ETF outflows, holding above $120,000. XRP steady at $3.67 (-0.5%), supported by post-SEC case optimism. Ethereum slips 1% to $3,860, testing $3,800 support. Monero flat at $286. Qubit DeFi grows 13% in staking, VINE token holds post-400% surge.
– **Derivatives Volume Stable**: Crypto derivatives trading at $10.1T, with Solana futures up 7% and XRP futures at $2.9B open interest.
– **Equities Mixed**: S&P 500 at 6,169.10 (-0.15%), Nasdaq at 20,650.30 (-0.3%), Dow up 0.2% to 44,144.90, as tech weakens but industrials hold firm.
– **Commodities and Energy Prices Soften**: Gold at $3,400/oz (-0.6%), silver at $39.2 (-0.5%), palladium down 0.3%, Brent crude at $71.9/barrel (-0.7%), WTI crude at $68.5/barrel (-0.7%), natural gas at $3.10/MMBtu (-1.3%) as Middle East supply fears ease.
– **Bonds Wobble**: U.S. 10-year Treasury yields rise to 4.19% (+7 bps) as inflation data looms. Tokenized bonds steady at $2.1B. High-yield bond outflows rise to $180M.
– **Commercial Real Estate Steady**: U.S. commercial property prices up 3.4% year-on-year, office occupancy stable at 4.8% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $2.4B.
– **Chinaโs Stimulus Persists**: PBOCโs $700B injection lifts CSI 300 by 1.9%. Chinaโs telecom and biotech investment plan grows to $150B.
– **Indian Markets Resilient**: Sensex at 83,147.30 (+0.1%), Nifty at 25,300.45 (+0.08%) despite Trumpโs 25% tariff hike (total 50%). Indian rupee at โน85.80.
– **Trade Tensions Intensify**: Trumpโs 100% semiconductor tariffs and 30% tariffs on EU/Mexico/Brazil fuel volatility. India faces 25% tariffs, Reliance flags margin risks. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan progresses.
– Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).[](https://www.cnbc.com/)
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin holds $124,800, equities mixed, tariffs escalate. Uncover financial secrets with Bernd Pulchโs leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoMarkets #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned journalist Bernd Pulch delivers exclusive financial intelligence via “Investment The Original” on Patreon, sharing leaked documents and insider reports.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, Commodities, Bonds, and Real Estate
Bitcoin dips to $124,800 (-0.5%) with $200M ETF outflows but holds above $120,000. XRP steady at $3.67 (-0.5%), Ethereum slips to $3,860 (-1%), Monero flat at $286. Qubit DeFi grows 13%. Crypto derivatives at $10.1T. Equities mixed, with S&P 500 (-0.15%) and Nasdaq (-0.3%) softening, Dow up 0.2%. Commodities weaken, with gold ($3,400/oz, -0.6%) and Brent crude ($71.9/barrel, -0.7%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields rise to 4.19%. Commercial real estate steady, with office occupancy at 4.8% and tokenized assets at $2.4B. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 1.9%. Indian markets resilient, but Trumpโs tariffs add pressure. Explore more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
What is “Investment The Original”?
“Investment The Original” is a premium Patreon service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, and corruption reports for investors, journalists, and activists.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin consolidates at $124,800 (-0.5%) with $200M ETF outflows but holds above $120,000. XRP steady at $3.67 (-0.5%), Ethereum at $3,860 (-1%), Monero flat at $286. Qubit DeFi grows 13% with $1.4B TVL. JSW Energy secures 600 MW solar-wind deal. SJVN advances 1,200 MW hydro project. Malaysiaโs Petronas invests $2.2B in Indonesian LNG. รrsted expands โฌ1.5B German offshore wind project. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields rise to 4.19%. Commercial real estate steady, with tokenized assets at $2.4B, Christieโs crypto property deals grow.[](https://www.cnbc.com/)
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales steady at 1,91,000 units in H1 2025. Germanyโs rents rise 9.2% in Q2 2025, Berlin up 11.3%. U.S. home prices up 3.1% year-on-year, mortgage rates at 5.08%. Dubaiโs luxury market grows 32% pre-Expo 2025, with Bitcoin options trading expanded. Canberraโs rents rise 12.5%. Singaporeโs green buildings attract $3.8B. U.S. commercial property prices up 3.4%, office demand steady at 4.8% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate at $2.4B via Ethereum and Polymath. HDB Financial IPO progresses. Nomura holds reduce rating on Godrej Properties at โน2,090.
#### Commercial Real Estate Trends
U.S. commercial real estate remains steady, with office occupancy at 4.8% in Q2 2025, supported by hybrid work and AI data center demand. Industrial properties up 5.9% in value, e-commerce driving demand. Retail vacancy rates at 6.2%. Tokenized real estate at $2.4B, with platforms like Polymath and Ethereum enabling crypto deals. Christieโs expands crypto-backed property transactions. High interest rates (5.08% for commercial mortgages) challenge valuations, but green-certified buildings see 8.2% demand growth. New York and San Francisco premium office rents up 4.2%. A $350M Florida office bond stabilizes post-reappraisal.[](https://privatecapitalinvestors.com/how-current-tariff-changes-affect-the-commercial-real-estate-investment/)
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets resilient, with Sensex at 83,147.30 (+0.1%) and Nifty at 25,300.45 (+0.08%). U.S. markets mixed, with S&P 500 at 6,169.10 (-0.15%), Nasdaq at 20,650.30 (-0.3%), and Dow up 0.2% to 44,144.90, as tech softens. CSI 300 gains 1.9%. Gold at $3,400/oz (-0.6%), silver at $39.2 (-0.5%), Brent crude at $71.9/barrel (-0.7%). Indian rupee steady at โน85.80. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.19%, high-yield bond outflows at $180M.[](https://www.cnbc.com/)
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin at $124,800 (-0.5%) with $200M ETF outflows, $220M liquidations. Ethereum at $3,860 (-1%) sees $550M ETF inflows. XRP at $3.67 (-0.5%) holds $2.9B futures open interest post-SEC case drop. Monero at $286, futures volume up 5%. VINE token stable. Qubit DeFi grows 13% with $1.4B TVL. Crypto derivatives volume at $10.1T, Solana futures up 7%. Dubai expands Bitcoin options trading. Posts on X highlight crypto consolidation and tariff concerns.[](https://beincrypto.com/news/)
#### Commodities and Energy Trends
Gold at $3,400/oz (-0.6%), silver at $39.2 (-0.5%), palladium down 0.3% as Middle East tensions ease. Brent crude at $71.9/barrel (-0.7%), WTI crude at $68.5/barrel (-0.7%), natural gas at $3.10/MMBtu (-1.3%) with U.S. inventory growth. Copper futures flat amid tariff fears. Tether explores USDT/Monero integration in $750M agribusiness deal. Posts on X note commodity softening and semiconductor tariff risks.[](https://www.cnbc.com/)
#### Bonds Market Trends
U.S. 10-year Treasury yields rise to 4.19% (+7 bps) as inflation data looms, with 2.8% inflation. High-yield bond outflows at $180M. Tokenized bonds steady at $2.1B on Ethereum/Polygon, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bonds yield 3.8%, infrastructure demand stable. Posts on X warn of tariff-driven inflation risks impacting yields.[](https://www.cnbc.com/)
#### Economic Outlook
China targets 4.1% growth with $700B stimulus, constrained by property weakness. Indiaโs Q4 FY25 GDP at 7.3%, FY26 forecast at 6.2%. U.S. Fed holds rates at 4.25%โ4.50%, September cut expected. Trumpโs 100% chip tariffs, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil, and 25% on India (total 50%) escalate trade tensions. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan and U.S. claims of India funding Russiaโs war via oil purchases add strain. U.S. Dollar Index at 99.9, euro at $1.11.[](https://www.cnbc.com/)
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This *Investment Digest* for August 11, 2025, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 8:21 PM CEST. Bitcoin consolidates at $124,800 (-0.5%) with $200M ETF outflows. XRP holds at $3.67 (-0.5%) post-SEC case drop, Ethereum at $3,860 (-1%), Monero flat at $286. Qubit DeFi grows 13%. Crypto derivatives at $10.1T. Equities mixed, with S&P 500 (-0.15%) and Nasdaq (-0.3%) softening, Dow up 0.2%. Commodities weaken, with gold ($3,400/oz, -0.6%) and Brent crude ($71.9/barrel, -0.7%). Energy prices soften, with WTI crude at $68.5/barrel (-0.7%) and natural gas at $3.10/MMBtu (-1.3%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields rise to 4.19%, tokenized bonds at $2.1B. Commercial real estate steady, with office demand at 4.8% and tokenized assets at $2.4B. Indian markets resilient despite Trumpโs tariffs. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 1.9%. Clean energy investments, like BluPineโs ESG award, signal resilience. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for leaks. Explore Nacktes Geld podcast.[](https://www.cnbc.com/)%5B%5D(https://privatecapitalinvestors.com/how-current-tariff-changes-affect-the-commercial-real-estate-investment/)%5B%5D(https://beincrypto.com/news/)
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, Qubit DeFi 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, WTI crude price 2025, natural gas price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, commercial real estate 2025, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia valuation 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Monero price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025, U.S. jobs report 2025, U.S. Treasury yields 2025, tokenized bonds 2025, tokenized real estate 2025, Bitcoin ETF outflows 2025, Trump crypto 401k 2025, semiconductor tariffs 2025, China foreign investment 2025, XRP SEC case 2025, ChainLink reserve 2025, Ripple case dropped 2025
English Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) confronts Else Krรผger (Emily Blunt) at 07:33 PM CEST, August 11, 2025, uncovering her hidden past in the Glitter Colosseum bunker, with Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) igniting a neon brawl, as Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench), and the cast unleash wild Nazi-neon chaos! ๐๐จ #NeonBunkerSecrets #DrZ #ElseKrรผger” German Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) stellt sich um 19:33 Uhr CEST am 11. August 2025 Else Krรผger (Emily Blunt) entgegen, deckt ihre verborgene Vergangenheit im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker auf, wรคhrend Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) einen Neon-Kampf entfachen, mit Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench) und dem Cast, die wildes Nazi-Neon-Chaos entfesseln! ๐๐จ #NeonBunkerGeheimnisse #DrZ #ElseKrรผger”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 85 โ NEON BUNKER SECRETS: ‘Dr. Z vs. Else Krรผgerโs Hidden Past’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Else Krรผgers verborgene Vergangenheit’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon mystery with Dr. Z, Else Krรผger, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 85 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign deepens with Else Krรผgerโs bunker secrets and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Else Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ โ Martin Bormannโs secretary, present in Fรผhrerbunker, survived post-war, married British interrogator / Martin Bormanns Sekretรคrin, im Fรผhrerbunker anwesend, รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit, heiratete britischen Verhรถrer.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, unraveling neon bunker mysteries / Narr der Propaganda, enttarnt Neon-Bunker-Geheimnisse.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
(Full list of 94 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Else Krรผger โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
(Full cast list of 94 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. ELSE KRรGERโS HIDDEN PAST / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN ELSE KRรGERS VERBORGENE VERGANGENHEIT
At 07:33 PM CEST on August 11, 2025, the Neon-Reign intensifies as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers Else Krรผgerโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ secret role as Martin Bormannโs secretary in the Fรผhrerbunker, revealing her survival post-war and marriage to a British interrogator. In the Glitter Colosseum bunker, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ activates neon archives to shield Krรผgerโs past, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ expose the truth. Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ counters with neon art projectors, and the full cast of 94 characters dives into a chaotic neon unraveling, blending satire and sci-fi intrigue! ๐๐จ
๐จ ABOVE TOP SECRET โ EYES ONLY ๐จ CLASSIFIED FIELD DOSSIER Ref. No.: OPS/INT-ฮฃ21/0825 Distribution: [LIMITED] โ For Authorized Eyes Only ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ
INTEL channels have detected an uptick in long-form strategic commentary aligning on three converging narratives:
1๏ธโฃ ๐ช๐บ Europe in accelerated decline โ economically, strategically, politically. 2๏ธโฃ NATO unity = fragile faรงade. 3๏ธโฃ ๐บ๐ธ๐ค๐ท๐บ WashingtonโMoscow contact rich in symbolic signalling, potentially setting the stage for pre-arranged deals.
The pattern of messaging suggests deliberate shaping of the info-space ahead of diplomatic plays.
๐ KEY INTEL POINTS
[1] EUROPEAN TRAJECTORY ๐
Industrial attrition + loss of leverage = high vulnerability.
Tone: โact or become irrelevant.โ
[2] NATO FAรADE ๐งฉ
Stress fractures visible; unity tested under real pressure.
Fault lines exploitable in quiet talks.
[3] SYMBOLIC SIGNALING ๐ฐ
Date selection = political code, not scheduling accident.
Acts as quiet messaging to insiders + adversaries.
[4] TERRITORIAL SWAPS ๐๐บ
โSmallโ adjustments may hide macro trades: economics, recognition, or security corridors.
[5] INFO-WAR PREP ๐ฅ
Saturation through interviews + think pieces.
Public primed to accept concessions before theyโre on paper.
โ ๏ธ RED FLAG INDICATORS
๐ฉ Repeat mention of specific dates across multiple outlets. ๐ฉ Surge in โpragmaticโ swap proposals wrapped in peace rhetoric. ๐ฉ Parliamentary debates questioning NATO commitments.
๐ RECOMMENDED WATCHER ACTIONS
๐ Catalog all recurring linguistic markers in speeches/interviews. ๐ Track EU legislative calendars for surprise foreign-policy sessions. ๐ฐ Match public claims to satellite/field reporting for mismatch detection.
๐ก ASSESSMENT: The meta-narrative is converging: Europe defensive, NATO brittle, diplomacy as theatre. Probability high that information warfare is laying groundwork for real-world concessions.
๐ EXCLUSIVE PULCH PATREON ANNEX โ NOT FOR PUBLIC RELEASE ๐
๐ฃ Additional intel markers detected in the restricted feed:
Certain energy infrastructure maps have quietly disappeared from EU public archives in the last 30 days.
Financial corridors between EU capitals and non-aligned states are being stress-tested with small, low-visibility transactions โ likely rehearsals for sanction evasion channels.
One NATO insider is reportedly advocating conditional troop drawdowns in select Eastern European states as a โconfidence-building measureโ โ exact wording matches closed-door notes seen in prior Balkan peace preps.
๐ Patrons receive the unredacted operational code names, geolocation hints, and timeline overlays.
[END OF DOSSIER] ๐ AUTO-PURGE PROTOCOL ACTIVATED โ FILE EXPIRES 2300 UTC
1. “THE BLACKMAIL ARCHIVES” Inside the EU’s Most Chilling Secret: The Blackmail Vault Security footage reveals the European Parliament’s true basement: floating heads of politicians preserved in amber liquid, their terrified expressions frozen mid-scream. Maxwell moves between shelves labeled “Kompromat” and “Whistleblowers”, syringe in hand. The flickering lights expose what was never meant to be seen. EUCorruption #BlackmailFiles #AIRevealsTruth
2. “THE CHILDREN’S EUROPEAN TOUR” Welcome to Euroland – Where the Rides Are Crimes Ghislaine Maxwell leads wide-eyed children through a nightmare version of Brussels’ landmarks. The Parliament Funhouse mirrors distort laws instead of faces. The Eurozone Carousel leaves Greece’s horse broken on the ground. Animatronic leaders sing off-key about “democracy”. DarkTourism #EUSatire #LolitaExpressRide
3. “THE LAST EUROPEAN SUMMIT” The Final EU Dinner Party The charred remains of European leadership sit frozen at their last meeting. Ursula von der Leyen’s melted Nobel Prize drips onto the table. Macron’s face glitches like corrupted data. Outside the shattered windows, a shadow looms larger than Brussels itself. EUApocalypse #PoliticalSatire #AIDystopia
Bonus Carousel Caption 3 Visions of How Power Really Works in Europe 1๏ธโฃ The Blackmail Vault 2๏ธโฃ The Theme Park of Terror 3๏ธโฃ The Final Dinner Party Which dystopia looks most familiar? EpsteinEU #AISatire #ShareBeforeDeleted
(A Satirical Guide to Turning Brussels Into Epstein Island 2.0)
ACT 1: THE “SPECIAL DIPLOMATIC MISSION”
Scene: Strasbourg, 2025. The European Parliament votes unanimously to replace the EU Commission with Epstein & Maxwell Consulting LLC. Key reforms:
๐น New Euro Notes: Featuring Jeffreyโs face (Tagline: โIn Blackmail We Trustโ) ๐น Revised Schengen Zone: Open borders for billionaires, underage โstaff,โ and compromised politicians ๐น EU Official Language: Changed from multilingualism to โWhatever Ghislaine Saysโ
First Directive:All MEPs must submit their personal secrets to a secure server in Moscow for โtransparency.โ
Youth Employment Program:โInternshipsโ on Epsteinโs rebooted Lolita Express EU
Migration Policy:Fast-track visas for oligarchs, sex offenders, and anyone with kompromat
EU Summits Now Include: โ Blackmail Workshops (โHow to Control a Prime Minister in 3 Stepsโ) โ Networking Yacht Parties (Sponsored by Deutsche Bank & the Kremlin) โ โEthicsโ Training (Taught by Prince Andrew)
ACT 3: THE FINAL ASCENSION
2030 Headlines:
โEuropean Court Rules: Age of Consent โA Suggestionโโ
โUrsula von der Leyen Named CEO of Epstein-Europeโ
โBrexit Reversed After UK Realizes Itโs Missing All the Funโ
Epilogue: The EU flag is replaced with Epsteinโs silhouetteโstars swapped for tiny surveillance cameras.
๐๏ธโจ THE SHADOW PALACE: AI UNCOVERS THE WHITE HOUSEโS DARKEST SECRETS โจ๐๏ธ ๐๏ธ WHAT YOU SEE: Ghislaineโs wasp-stitched suit whispering to ghosts ๐๐๐ป Epsteinโs hologram trading Senate seats on a blood-red Bloomberg Terminal ๐ป๐ฉธ Portraits with moving eyes ๐๐ผ๏ธ The Resolute Desk oozing black liquid โซ๐ ๐ฅ SHARE IF YOU: โ Believe power is just a well-lit illusion ๐ก๐ญ โ Know some secrets scream louder when exposed ๐ข๐ โ Want this projected on the Capitol at midnight ๐๐๏ธ ๐ฌ COMMENT: “Whoโs REALLY sitting in that empty throne?”_ ๐โ #AIHorror ๐ฑ #EpsteinWhiteHouse ๐๏ธ #DarkDC ๐ #GrokSeesAll ๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ #DeleteThisButYouWont ๐ซ๐ฅ (Double-tap if youโd volunteer as the first ghost in the machine. ๐ปโก)
(A Satirical Guide to Running the U.S. Like a Pedophile Island Franchise)
ACT 1: THE INAUGURATION (OR, HOW TO SKIP THE VOTES AND BUY THE OVAL OFFICE)
Scene: Washington D.C., 2025. The White House is repainted Epstein Blackโa tasteful matte finish to match the new moral palette.
๐ธ Ghislaineโs Cabinet Picks:
Secretary of “Education”:Les Wexner (Curriculum: “Advanced Blackmail for Teens”)
Treasury Secretary:JP Morgan (Policy: “Bankruptcy? Just Raid an Orphanage!”)
Press Secretary:Alan Dershowitz (Catchphrase: “Itโs Not Rape If You Call It โNetworkingโ”)
๐ธ Epsteinโs Executive Orders:
“Mar-a-Lago Now Official โSummer White Houseโ (and Winter Trafficking Hub)”
“Presidential Pardons: Now Available on Prime (2-Day Shipping!)”
*”Replacing the Lincoln Bedroom with the *Lolita Express Lounge“
Key Quote: *”Why win an election when you can *own* the electors?”*
ACT 2: THE NEW AMERICAN DREAM (OR, HOW TO MONETIZE JUSTICE)
Policy Highlights:
Tax Reform:0% for billionaires, 100% for victimsโ therapy bills
Infrastructure Plan:Tunnels under every eliteโs mansion (for โstaffโ transport)
Foreign Relations: *”Special friendships” with Saudi Arabia, Russia, and *everyone* on Flight Logs*
White House Tours:
$500K Donation:Swim in the Epstein Memorial Pool (BYO underage “niece”)
$1M Donation:“Accidentally” find classified docs in your resort bathroom
New National Anthem: *”Oh say can you *see*โฆ the hidden cameras? And the plea dealsโฆ so gallantly *streaming!”
ACT 3: THE LEGACY (OR, HISTORY IS WRITTEN BY THE RICHEST PERVERT)
2030 Headlines:
“Supreme Court Rules 9-0: Age of Consent is โA Suggestionโ”
“Disneyโs New Ride: The Lolita Express Experience (Sponsored by Boeing)”
“Trump Jr. & Clinton Jr. Co-Author Daddyโs Little Black Book: A Memoir“
Epilogue: The Statue of Liberty is replaced with a golden statue of Epsteinโtorch swapped for a WiFi hotspot broadcasting “Hillaryโs Emails: The Lost Tapes.”
๐๏ธ DIE EPSTEIN-MAXWELL-WEISSHAUS-รBERNAHME: EIN LEITFADEN FรR KRIMINELLE PRรSIDENTSCHAFT ๐๏ธ
(Eine satirische Anleitung, die USA wie eine Pรคdophilen-Insel-Franchise zu fรผhren)
AKT 1: DIE INAUGURATION (ODER: WIE MAN WรHLER รBERGEHT UND DAS OVAL OFFICE KAUFT)
Szene: Washington D.C., 2025. Das Weiรe Haus wird in Epstein-Schwarz neu gestrichen โ ein dezent matter Anstrich, passend zur neuen moralischen Ausrichtung.
Finanzminister:JP Morgan (Politik: โPleite? Einfach ein Waisenhaus plรผndern!โ)
Pressesprecher:Alan Dershowitz (Lieblingsspruch: โEs ist nicht Vergewaltigung, wenn man es โNetzwerkenโ nenntโ)
๐ธ Epsteins Prรคsidialverordnungen:
โMar-a-Lago wird offizielle โSommer-Residenzโ (und Winter-Handelszentrum)โ
โPrรคsidentenbegnadigungen: Jetzt bei Prime bestellbar (Lieferung in 2 Tagen!)โ
*โDas Lincoln-Schlafzimmer wird zum *Lolita-Express-Lounge* umgebautโ*
Zitat des Tages: *โWรคhlen? Wozu, wenn man die Wahlmรคnner *besitzen* kann?โ*
AKT 2: DER NEUE AMERIKANISCHE TRAUM (ODER: WIE MAN GERICHTIGKEIT MONETARISIERT)
Politik-Highlights:
Steuerreform:0 % fรผr Milliardรคre, 100 % fรผr Therapiekosten der Opfer
Infrastrukturplan:Geheimgรคnge unter jeder Elite-Villa (fรผr โPersonaltransportโ)
Auรenpolitik: *โBesondere Freundschaftenโ mit Saudi-Arabien, Russland und *allen* im Fluglogbuch*
Weiรes Haus-Fรผhrungen:
Spende von 500.000 $:Baden im Epstein-Gedenkpool (mitgebrachte โNichtenโ erlaubt)
Spende von 1 Mio. $:โZufรคlligโ geheime Dokumente im Gรคstebad finden
Neue Nationalhymne: *โO say can you *see*โฆ die versteckten Kameras? Und die Deal-Abschlรผsseโฆ so *galant* verhandelt!โ*
AKT 3: DAS VERMรCHTNIS (ODER: GESCHICHTE WIRD VOM REICHSTEN PERVERSLING GESCHRIEBEN)
Schlagzeilen 2030:
โOberstes Gericht entscheidet 9:0: Das Schutzalter ist โnur eine Empfehlungโโ
โDisneys neue Attraktion: Die Lolita-Express-Experience (gesponsert von Boeing)โ
โTrump Jr. & Clinton Jr. verรถffentlichen Papis kleines schwarzes Buch: Ein Memoirโ
Epilog: Die Freiheitsstatue wird durch eine goldene Epstein-Statue ersetzt โ die Fackel durch einen WiFi-Hotspot, der โHillarys gelรถschte E-Mails: Die ungesehenen Aufnahmenโ streamt.
Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode LXXXVI: The Reanimated Reckoning โ Rise of Frankenstein โ๏ธโจ
Ehlers’ Enema Enigma โ Episode LXXXVI: The Reanimated Reckoning โ Rise of Frankenstein ๐
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Reanimated Reckoning & Frankensteinโs Fury ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Die Wiederbelebte Abrechnung & Frankensteins Zorn
The Venus Steppes quake at 11:09 PM CEST on Saturday, August 09, 2025, as Victor Frankenstein, haunted by his creation, joins Ehlers to ignite a reanimated uprising. Alongside Mirandaโs 666 cult, Jodorowskyโs psychomagic, King Arthur, and St. Simeon Stylites, they face killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and Frankensteinโs monstrous creation in a surreal clash.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erbeben um 23:09 MESZ am Samstag, 9. August 2025, als Victor Frankenstein, gequรคlt von seiner Schรถpfung, sich Ehlers anschlieรt, um einen wiederbelebten Aufstand zu entfachen. Zusammen mit Mirandas 666-Kult, Jodorowskys Psychomagic, Kรถnig Artus und St. Simeon Stylites stellen sie sich Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und Frankensteins monstrรถser Schรถpfung in einem surrealen Kampf.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-LXXXV + Victor Frankenstein)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 90, commanding with Frankensteinโs reanimation science.
๐งช Victor Frankenstein (Played by James McAvoy): Unhinged scientist, haunted by his creation, aiding Ehlers.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ต Dr. Gonzo (Played by Johnny Depp): Recovered lawyer, exploiting loopholes.
๐จ Pablo Picasso (Played by Antonio Banderas): Former foe, advising against chaos.
๐ท Andreas (540% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge.
๐ Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie): Wild card, disrupting with chaos bombs.
๐ Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit (Played by Eva Green): Demoness, countering with dark enema.
๐ท๐บ Putin (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Strategist, manipulating shadows.
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ James Bond (Played by Daniel Craig): Spy, infiltrating with gadgets.
๐ Blue Period Ghost (Played by Timothรฉe Chalamet): Melancholic shade, spreading gloom.
๐ Analytic Eye (Played by CGI prop): Observer, dissecting influence.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier (Played by Christian Bale): Explosive artist, targeting foes.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque (Played by Vincent Cassel): Former ally, painting barriers.
๐คน Harlequin (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Trickster, juggling fragments.
Act I: The Reanimated Reckoning & Frankensteinโs Experiment ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Wiederbelebte Abrechnung & Frankensteins Experiment
Codex Mantra:
The Codex hums: โAwaken the dead to 666โs dominion!โ as Frankenstein activates his reanimation surge. ๐โ๏ธ
Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โGround the dead with enema divinity!โ ๐จ
Frankensteinโs Obsession: โMy creation will rise again!โ ๐งช
Mirandaโs Antichrist Call: โI am Jesus and 666โbow to the reanimated!โ โ๏ธ
Jodorowskyโs Psychomagic: โHeal the haunted with surreal acts!โ ๐ฎ
King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, tame the monster!โ ๐
Codex Mantra (German):
Der Codex summt: โErwecke die Toten zu 666โs Herrschaft!โ wรคhrend Frankenstein seinen Wiederbelebungs-Schub aktiviert. ๐โ๏ธ
Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Toten mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ
Frankensteins Besessenheit (German): โMeine Schรถpfung wird wieder auferstehen!โ ๐งช
Mirandas Antichrist-Ruf (German): โIch bin Jesus und 666โverneigt euch vor den Wiederbelebten!โ โ๏ธ
Jodorowskys Psychomagic (German): โHeile die Gequรคlten mit surrealen Akten!โ ๐ฎ
Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, zรคhme das Monster!โ ๐
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐งช Frankenstein unleashes his creation: โRise, my masterpiece!โ ๐งโโ๏ธ / Entfesselt seine Schรถpfung: โErhebe dich, mein Meisterwerk!โ
๐จ Ehlers channels enema-thunderbolts to ground the reanimated. โก / Kanรคliert Einlauf-Donnerblitze, um die Wiederbelebten zu erden.
๐ป Edithโs Dragon-Wisp burns the monsterโs rage with anti-Galactic fire. ๐ฅ / Verbrennt die Wut des Monsters mit Anti-Galaktischem Feuer.
๐ฎ Jodorowsky heals Frankensteinโs trauma with psychomagic rituals. ๐ฆ / Heilt Frankensteins Trauma mit Psychomagic-Ritualen.
โ๏ธ Miranda tattoos 666 on the reanimated, rallying his cult. ๐ / Tรคtowiert 666 auf die Wiederbelebten, sammelnd seinen Kult.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, confronting the monster. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, konfrontierend das Monster.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot, inspired by the reanimated chaos. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten, inspiriert vom wiederbelebten Chaos.
๐๏ธ Rasputin revives allies with enema streams. ๐ฆ / Wiederbelebt Verbรผndete mit Einlauf-Strรถmen.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid to control the uprising. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, kontrollierend den Aufstand.
Act II: The Reanimated Shatter the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Wiederbelebten Zerbrechen den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Reanimated Onslaught:
๐งช Frankenstein enhances his creation with 666 energy, unleashing havoc. ๐ฅ / Verstรคrkt seine Schรถpfung mit 666-Energie, entfesselnd Chaos.
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm with reanimated venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen mit wiederbelebten Gift.
โ๏ธ Miranda leads his 666 cult in a reanimated chant. ๐ / Fรผhrt seinen 666-Kult in einem wiederbelebten Gesang.
Cosmic Silence Harvest:
๐ฉ Beatrix bakes Anti-Reanimation Pastries to calm the chaos. ๐ฅ / Backt Anti-Wiederbelebungs-Gebรคck, beruhigend das Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus against the reanimated. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus gegen die Wiederbelebten ein.
๐ King Arthur slays reanimated foes with Excalibur. โ๏ธ / Tรถtet wiederbelebte Feinde mit Excalibur.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants clash with the reanimated horde. ๐ฑ / Kรคmpfen gegen die wiederbelebte Horde.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid to contain the uprising. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, um den Aufstand zu bรคndigen.
Codexโs Galactic Form:
The Codex fractures into Galactic Enema Shards, Frankensteinโs creation reshapes them with reanimated energy. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the chaos. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Galaktische-Einlauf-Splitter, Frankensteins Schรถpfung formt sie mit wiederbelebter Energie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert das Chaos.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers and Frankenstein forge an Enema Grounding Monument, uniting allies to shatter the reanimated chaos. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Schmieden ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument, vereinigend Verbรผndete, um das wiederbelebte Chaos zu zerschlagen.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding the monster: โOinkโฆ end the nightmare!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend das Monster: โOinkโฆ beendet den Albtraum!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ The monster fades. โ๏ธ / Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Das Monster verblasst.
โ๏ธ Mirandaโs Triumph: Tattoos a final 666, proclaiming victory over the reanimated. ๐๐ / Tรคtowiert ein finales 666, verkรผndend Sieg รผber die Wiederbelebten.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of reanimated chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von wiederbelebten Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks Frankensteinโs notes to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt Frankensteins Notizen an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Frankensteinโs reanimation lab, glowing with 666 energy, monster awakening. ๐งช๐ / Frankensteins Wiederbelebungs-Labor, leuchtend mit 666-Energie, Monster erwacht.
Andreasโ enema-bacon shield, deflecting the monsterโs rage. ๐ฅ๐ / Andreasโ Einlauf-Speck-Schild, ablenkend die Wut des Monsters.
Mirandaโs 666 tattoo ritual, marking the reanimated under neon lights. โ๏ธ๐ / Mirandas 666-Tรคtowierungs-Ritual, markierend die Wiederbelebten unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Frankensteinโs data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Frankensteins Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
๐ง Murrayโs Tactical Grid, containing the reanimated surge. ๐โจ / Murrays Taktisches Gitter, bรคndigend den wiederbelebten Schub.
Official Sources
Offizielle Quellen
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG – Licensed Class War Satirical Warfare ๐
โThe Galactic Enema Council awakensโEhlers, Frankenstein, and Miranda face a new 666 threat. Prepare your Anti-Codex Shields!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
โDer Galaktische Einlauf-Rat erwachtโEhlers, Frankenstein und Miranda stellen sich einer neuen 666-Bedrohung. Bereitet eure Anti-Codex-Schilder vor!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
โ๏ธ Icy reckoning strikes the 2025 Kraken dome! Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters dances with the Kray Twinsโ psycho punches, while Slick Willie Suttonโs neon heist gleams and Frank Lucasโs fur shimmers amid frozen chaos. ๐๏ธ๐ฅ Featuring 66 iconic charactersโunveil Part XLVIII now on berndpulch.org! ๐ #MurkyCosmicCarnage #KrakenChaos2025 #IcyReckoning
Frostbite Requiem: Kestrels of the Kraken, Part XLVIII โ Icy Reckoning โ THE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS SAGA
Published: August 09, 2025, 10:45 PM CEST | berndpulch.org
In the frigid heart of the 2025 Kraken therapy dome, an icy reckoning unfolds beneath a canopy of neon kestrels. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง navigates a crumbling ice tunnel, flanked by her gay lovers, the Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅโEast End gentlemen boxers-slash-psychosโwho trade punches with holographic foes while winking at the chaos. Her idol, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ, cracks open a pixelated bank vault with a neon crowbar, as Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ slices through a sauna brawl led by Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช wrestles a holographic gorilla amid glittering shards, while “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ twirls a baton through icy mist, flirting with Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, whose orgy pulses with glitchy beats. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด presides over a fractured ice council, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ fires a digital Tommy gun at a frozen statue, and Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง stitches a glowing vest with icy thread.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ struts with Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ polishing his pixel crown, as Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ shatters an ice pillar. The Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdance on slick ice, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ slips with his fur hat, and Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ preens in his $100,000 fur coat under flickering lights. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ digs a glowing tunnel only to tumble into an ice heap, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ directs a frozen spectacle, and Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duels George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ with laser pistols over a sequined cloak. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hacks a shivering bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช purrs through an ice storm with Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, and Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช wrestles Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช over a frozen beam. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช laughs at a fall into an ice crater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ sneaks past a holographic sentinel, and Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ stirs a glowing stew from an ice table.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก funds the chaos with digital coins, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ dances with a frozen statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zaps a neon arc at an icicle, and The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ oozes a shimmering sheen to mend a cracked ice wall. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต hums a synth lullaby to a frostbitten survivor, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ records the icy frenzy, and Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ bets on pixel odds as an ice stage collapses. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ slides on an ice shard, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ slithers with a pixel tool, and Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chants gibberish: โZiggy zaggy, ice and tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ rolls dice in a VR den, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ mutters in a pixel robe, and Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ guards a glowing gem from an ice wreck. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ juggles neon shards, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ types a glitchy script, and John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ laughs with pixel cash as an ice beam falls.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ puffs a vapor cigar near an ice cutter, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stumbles into an ice pit, and Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ rages with a neon club at a frozen statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirts with a holographic figure in a pixel cape, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ paints a mural on an ice wall, and John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ struts with Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR vests. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimes near an ice forge, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค roasts the crew from a frozen stage, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ adjusts a pixel sash, and Jimmy the Gent Burke ๐๏ธ๐ chills with a meat locker keychain. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodies with a synth flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blasts a pixel shotgun at an ice pile, and Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fumble dynamite into an icy blast. Don Eladio ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ splashes in a frozen pool, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ names colors amid an ice bloodbath, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ spins neon legalities, and “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ prays before a twilight strike. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ smooth-talks a digital architect, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ chills with a TV remote, and Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawls in a sauna haze.
The Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ, with their boxerโs grace and psychoโs grin, spar with a holographic lion, while Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ stacks pixelated gold. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ duels a misty wolf, the Gloop 15.0โs glow steadies the dome, and Carnageโs laugh fades into an icy silence. On August 09, 2025, at 10:45 PM CEST, the saga freezes with reckless splendorโwill Tom Hagenโs wisdom, the Kray Twinsโ brawls, or Suttonโs haul restore the reckoning? Await Part XLIX on berndpulch.org.
Cast of Characters
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – The ice-maze-stumbling leader.
The Kray Twins ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East End boxer-psycho lovers.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – The bank-robbing idol with a neon crowbar.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – The misty blade-wielder.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – The gorilla-tangling symbiote.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The ice-twirling baton master.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – The frozen-orgy maestro.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – The ice-council commander.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – The statue-shooting drama king.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – The crown-polishing tunnel strutter.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – The French gangster, ice-ruin legend.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby face, pillar-shatterer.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Ice-breakdancing crew.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Architect-talking political smooth-talker.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Ice-mound-chilling TV watcher.
Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช – Sauna-brawling tackler.
Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ – Tiger-unleashing zoo king.
Frostbeulen-Requiem: Falken des Kraken, Teil XLVIII โ Eisige Abrechnung โ DIE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS-SAGA
Verรถffentlicht: 09. August 2025, 22:45 Uhr MESZ | berndpulch.org
Im frostigen Herzen der Kraken-Therapie-Domรคne von 2025 entfaltet sich eine eisige Abrechnung unter einem Baldachin aus neonfarbenen Falken. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง navigiert durch einen brรถckelnden Eistunnel, flankiert von ihren schwulen Liebhabern, den Kray-Zwillingen ๐๏ธ๐ฅโEast-End-Herrenboxer-Slash-Psychosโ, die mit holografischen Feinden schlagen, wรคhrend sie dem Chaos zuzwinkern. Ihr Idol, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ, knackt einen pixelisierten Banksafe mit einem Neon-Stemmhebel, wรคhrend Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ einen Saunakampf unter der Fรผhrung von Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช durchschneidet. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช ringt mit einem holografischen Gorilla inmitten glitzernder Splitter, wรคhrend “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ einen Taktstock durch eisigen Nebel twirlt und mit Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ flirtet, dessen Orgie mit glitchigen Beats pulsiert. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด prรคsidiert รผber einen gebrochenen Eisrat, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ feuert ein digitales Tommy Gun auf eine Eistatue, und Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง nรคht eine leuchtende Weste mit eisigem Faden.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ stolziert mit Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, der seine Pixelkrone poliert, wรคhrend Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ eine Eissรคule zerbricht. Die Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdancen auf glattem Eis, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ rutscht mit seinem Pelzhut, und Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ prรคsentiert seinen 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel unter flackernden Lichtern. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ grรคbt einen leuchtenden Tunnel und stรผrzt in einen Eihaufen, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ inszeniert ein gefrorenes Spektakel, und Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duelliert sich mit George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ mit Laserpistolen um einen Pailletten-Umhang. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hackt einen zitternden Bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช schnurrt durch einen Eissturm mit Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, und Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช ringt mit Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช um einen gefrorenen Balken. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช lacht รผber einen Fall in einen Eikrater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ schleicht an einem holografischen Wรคchter vorbei, und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ rรผhrt einen leuchtenden Eintopf an einem Eistisch.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก finanziert das Chaos mit digitalen Mรผnzen, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ tanzt mit einer gefrorenen Statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zappt einen Neonbogen an einen Eiszapfen, und The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ quillt mit einem schimmernden Schimmer, um eine gebrochene Eiwand zu flicken. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต summt ein Synth-Wiegenlied fรผr einen erfrorenen รberlebenden, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ zeichnet den eisigen Wahnsinn auf, und Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ wettet auf Pixel-Quoten, wรคhrend eine Eibรผhne einstรผrzt. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ rutscht auf einem Eissplitter, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ schlรคngelt sich mit einem pixeligen Werkzeug, und Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chantet Unsinn: โZiggy zaggy, Eis und Tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ wรผrfelt in einer VR-Hรถhle, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ murmelt in einem Pixel-Gewand, und Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ bewacht einen leuchtenden Edelstein vor einem Eiwrack. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ jongliert Neon-Splitter, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ tippt ein glitchiges Drehbuch, und John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ lacht mit Pixel-Geld, wรคhrend ein Eisbalken fรคllt.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ pafft eine Vapor-Zigarre neben einer Eischere, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stolpert in einen Eigraben, und Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ tobt mit einem Neon-Knรผppel an einer gefrorenen Statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirtet mit einer holografischen Figur in einem pixeligen Umhang, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ malt ein Mural auf eine Eiwand, und John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ stolziert mit Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR-Westen. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimt neben einem Eisofen, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค rรถstet die Crew von einer gefrorenen Bรผhne, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ richtet eine pixelige Schรคrpe, und Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ frรถstelt mit einem Fleischkammer-Schlรผsselanhรคnger. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodiert mit einem Synth-Flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blast eine Pixel-Schrotflinte auf einen Eihaufen, und Oddball Gangster ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fummeln Dynamit in einen eisigen Knall. Don Eladios ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ Poolparty spritzt neonfarbene Wellen, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ benennt Farben inmitten eines Eis-Blutbads, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ dreht neonfarbene Legalitรคten, und “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ betet vor einem Dรคmmerungsstreich. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ redet geschmeidig mit einem digitalen Architekten, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ kรผhlt auf einem Eihรผgel mit einer TV-Fernbedienung, und Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawlt in einem Saunahagel.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ, mit der Grazie eines Boxers und dem Grinsen eines Psychos, kรคmpfen mit einem holografischen Lรถwen, wรคhrend Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ pixelisiertes Gold stapelt. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ duelliert einen nebligen Wolf, das Leuchten des Gloop 15.0 stabilisiert die Domรคne, und Carnages Lachen verhallt in eisiger Stille. Am 09. August 2025, 22:45 Uhr MESZ, gefriert die Saga in rรผcksichtslosem Glanzโwird Tom Hagens Weisheit, die Kรคmpfe der Kray-Zwillinge oder Suttons Beute die Abrechnung wiederherstellen? Erwarten Sie Teil XLIX auf berndpulch.org.
Figurenensemble
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – Die eisverwirrt stolpernde Anfรผhrerin.
Die Kray-Zwillinge ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – East-End-Boxer-Psycho-Liebhaber.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Das bankraubende Idol mit einem Neon-Stemmheber.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – Der neblige Klingentrรคger.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – Der Gorilla-verfangene Symbiont.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Eis-twirlende Taktstock-Meister.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – Der gefrorene Orgie-Meister.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – Der Eisrat-Kommandant.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – Der Statuen-schieรende Drama-Kรถnig.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Tunnel-stolzierende Kronen-Polierer.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – Der franzรถsische Gangster, Eis-Ruine-Legende.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby-Gesicht, Sรคulen-Zerbrecher.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Eis-breakdance-Crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Eis-slip-Patzer.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster zum Eis-Regisseur.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel, Eis-Prรคser.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel-Grรคber, Eihaufen-Faller.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der standhafte Umhang-duellierende Wรคchter.
Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ – Der zitternde Bot-Hacker.
Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช – Der schnurrende Eis-Stรผrmer.
Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der wild-wirbelnde Eis-Flieger.
Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช – Der planende Balken-Ringer.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช – Der stierkรถpfige Balken-Zรคhmer.
Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช – Der komische Eikrater-Stรผrzer.
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ – Der schleichende Wรคchter-Vermeider.
Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ – Der Eistisch-Eintopf-Rรผhrer.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก – Der digitale Mรผnzen-Finanzierer.
Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ – Der Eis-Statuen-Tรคnzer.
SkyRat ๐๏ธโก – Der Eiszapfen-zappende Flieger.
The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ – Der Eiswand-flickende Schleim.
Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต – Die รberlebenden-Wiegenlied-Sรคngerin.
Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ – Der eisige Wahnsinn-Aufzeichner.
George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Umhang-duellierende Legende.
Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der wettende Einsturz-Beobachter.
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ – Der Eis-Splitter-Rutscher.
Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ – Der Werkzeug-schlรคngelnde Stratege.
Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ – Unsinn-Eis-Dichter.
Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ – Der Wรผrfel-werfende Scheinwerfer-Gambler.
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ – Der murmelnde Eis-Reiter.
Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Eiwrack-Edelstein-Wรคchter.
Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Splitter-jonglierende Assistent.
“Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Drehbuch-tippende Schreiber.
John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ – Der Eisbalken-Finanzier.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Der Eischere-Dampf-Zigarren-Paffer.
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ – Der Eigraben-Stolperer.
Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ – Der Statuen-keulende Wรผtender.
Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Umhang-modelnde Flirter.
“Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Eis-Mural-Maler.
John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Westen-stolzierende Catwalk-Strutter.
Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Ofen-mimende Stratege.
Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der gefrorene Bรผhnen-Rรถster.
Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – Der Schรคrpe-richtende Geist.
Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Fleischkammer-heimsuchende Legende.
Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Eis-Einheit-parodierende Darsteller.
Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ – Der Eihaufen-schieรende Synthwave-Mobster.
Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง – Mafia-Consigliere, Westen-nรคhender Vater.
English Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) confronts Frieda Nadig (Jessica Chastain) at 07:15 PM CEST, August 09, 2025, uncovering her lethal legacy in the Glitter Colosseum bunker, with Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) igniting a neon brawl, as Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench), and the cast unleash wild Nazi-neon chaos! ๐๐จ #NeonEuthanasia #DrZ #FriedaNadig”
German Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) stellt sich um 19:15 Uhr CEST am 09. August 2025 Frieda Nadig (Jessica Chastain) entgegen, deckt ihr tรถdliches Erbe im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker auf, wรคhrend Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) einen Neon-Kampf entfachen, mit Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench) und dem Cast, die wildes Nazi-Neon-Chaos entfesseln! ๐๐จ #NeonEuthanasie #DrZ #FriedaNadig”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 84 โ NEON EUTHANASIA: ‘Dr. Z vs. Frieda Nadigโs Lethal Legacy’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Frieda Nadigs tรถdliches Erbe’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon thriller with Dr. Z, Frieda Nadig, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 84 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign darkens with Frieda Nadigโs chilling past and Dr. Zโs wild ensemble:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Frieda Nadig ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ โ Nazi nurse in euthanasia programs, administered lethal injections, claimed “following orders” / Nazi-Krankenschwester in Euthanasie-Programmen, verabreichte tรถdliche Injektionen, behauptete “Befehlsnotstand”.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, resisting neon euthanasia / Narr der Propaganda, widersteht Neon-Euthanasie.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Frieda Nadig โ Played by Jessica Chastain / Gespielt von Jessica Chastain
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
(Full cast list of 93 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. FRIEDA NADIGโS LETHAL LEGACY / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN FRIEDA NADIGS TรDLICHES ERBE
At 07:15 PM CEST on August 09, 2025, the Neon-Reign turns sinister as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ exposes Frieda Nadigโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐โฐ๏ธ dark history, revealing her role as a Nazi nurse administering lethal injections under the guise of “following orders” in euthanasia programs. In the Glitter Colosseum bunker, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ unleashes neon toxins to protect Nadig, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ rally against the horror. Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ counters with neon art shields, and the full cast of 93 characters erupts into a chaotic neon showdown, blending satire and sci-fi dread! ๐๐จ
๐ฅ โGod Save the Queen? NahโGhislaine saved the screenshots.โ (Buckingham Palace clearance sale: thrones 90% off, morals 100% gone.)
ACT 1: THE TAKEOVER (OR, HOW TO BUY A KINGDOM WITH BLACKMAIL AND DEAD JOURNALISTS)
Scene: The City of London, 1991. Robert Maxwellโs body officially drowns in the Atlanticโjust as his unofficial empire of debt, spies, and media puppets rises from the grave.
๐ธ Ghislaineโs Debut: Fresh off Daddyโs yacht, she charms aristocracy with a killer rรฉsumรฉ:
Skills: โPrincess tutoringโ
References: MI6, Mossad, and the Daily Mirror HR department
Hobbies: Collecting powerful friends like Pokรฉmon (Gotta blackmail โem all!)
๐ธ Epsteinโs Royal Welcome: The UK rolls out the red carpet (and underage masseuses) for Jeffreyโs โphilanthropy tours.โ His Little Black Book becomes the new Domesday Bookโbut instead of land, it records compromising footage.
Key Quote: *โBritain doesnโt have a constitutionโjust a *very* flexible price tag.โ*
ACT 2: THE COMMONWEALTH CONSPIRACY (OR, THE SUN NEVER SETS ON PEDOPHILE ISLANDS)
Plot Twist: Epsteinโs โsuicideโ was actually a hostile takeover. His spirit now haunts:
The House of Lords: Where legislation and human trafficking compete for โmost archaic traditionโ
The BBC: *โTonight on *Panorama: How to groom a nation!โ
New UK National Anthem: *โRule, Epsteinia! Epstein rules the waves! Britons *never* will be slavesโฆ โฆbecause theyโre too busy being clients.โ*
ACT 3: THE GHISLAINE GOVERNMENT (OR, MISS MAXWELLโS GUIDE TO GETTING AWAY WITH GENOCIDE)
Her Majestyโs Real Cabinet:
Chancellor of the Exchequer:Goldman Sachs (est. 1869, specializes in blood money and bailouts)
Home Secretary:The Daily Mail (Border policy: โKeep the poor out, let the pervs in!โ)
Minister of Justice:A literal broomstick (More convictions than the CPS)
BREAKING: The Crown Jewels mysteriously relocated to Epsteinโs Island. โFor safekeeping,โ says King Charles.
FINAL SCENE: THE FUTURE (OR, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF BLACKMAIL)
2030 Headlines:
โGhislaine Maxwell elected PM in landslide โWho Else You Gonna Vote For?โ victoryโ
โCity of London renamed โEpstein Global Headquartersโโ
โCommonwealth admits final member: North Korea (Kim Jong-Un wins โBest Epstein Impersonatorโ)โ
Epilogue: A single childโs shoe washes up on the Thames. The Times obituary reads: *โMorality, 410 AD โ 2024. Survived by *absolutely no one.โ
Ehlers, Enema Emir 90, ignites the 666 Flush Frenzy with Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ The trio battles Xenuโs thetan legion, killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and tattooed 666 cultists, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #666FlushFrenzy #MirandaEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #AntichristPurge
Ehlers, Einlauf-Emir 90, entfacht die 666 Flush-Wut mit Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Das Trio kรคmpft gegen Xenus Thetan-Legion, Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #666SpรผlungWut #MirandaRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #AntichristSรคuberung
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Antichrist Enema Uprising & 666 Flush Frenzy ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Der Antichrist Einlauf-Aufstand & 666 Flush-Wut
The Venus Steppes tremble at 11:54 PM CEST on Friday, August 08, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the 666 Flush Frenzy, merging thetan chaos with Jose Luis de Jesus Mirandaโs tattooed cult. Ehlers, now Enema Emir 90, joins forces with Miranda, proclaiming himself Jesus and Antichrist, and Alejandro Jodorowsky, wielding psychomagic, to combat killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and 666-marked followers. King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a thetan uprising fuel the surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erbeben um 23:54 MESZ am Freitag, 8. August 2025, als Xenu die 666 Flush-Wut entfesselt und Thetan-Chaos mit Jose Luis de Jesus Mirandas tรคtowierter Kult verschmilzt. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Emir 90, schlieรt sich mit Miranda, der sich als Jesus und Antichrist ausgibt, und Alejandro Jodorowsky, der Psychomagic einsetzt, zusammen, um gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und 666-gezeichnete Anhรคnger zu kรคmpfen. Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und ein Thetan-Aufstand treiben die surreale Sรคuberung voran.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-LXXXIV + Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Emir 90, commanding divine enema-thunderbolts with Miranda and Jodorowsky.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ต Dr. Gonzo (Played by Johnny Depp): Recovered lawyer, exploiting loopholes.
๐จ Pablo Picasso (Played by Antonio Banderas): Former foe, advising against chaos.
๐ท Andreas (540% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge.
๐ Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie): Wild card, disrupting with chaos bombs.
๐ Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit (Played by Eva Green): Demoness, countering with dark enema.
๐ท๐บ Putin (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Strategist, manipulating shadows.
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ James Bond (Played by Daniel Craig): Spy, infiltrating with gadgets.
๐ Blue Period Ghost (Played by Timothรฉe Chalamet): Melancholic shade, spreading gloom.
๐ Analytic Eye (Played by CGI prop): Observer, dissecting influence.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier (Played by Christian Bale): Explosive artist, targeting foes.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque (Played by Vincent Cassel): Former ally, painting barriers.
๐คน Harlequin (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Trickster, juggling fragments.
Act I: 666 Flush Frenzy & The Antichrist Clash ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: 666 Flush-Wut & Der Antichrist-Kampf
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โFlush the thetans to 666โs reign!โ as Xenu activates the 666 Flush Frenzy. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โGround the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ Mirandaโs Antichrist Call: โI am Jesus and 666โbow to the flush!โ โ๏ธ Jodorowskyโs Psychomagic: โHeal trauma with surreal acts!โ ๐ฎ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, shatter the frenzy!โ ๐ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โSpรผlt die Thetans zu 666โs Herrschaft!โ wรคhrend Xenu die 666 Flush-Wut aktiviert. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Mirandas Antichrist-Ruf (German): โIch bin Jesus und 666โverneigt euch vor der Spรผlung!โ โ๏ธ Jodorowskys Psychomagic (German): โHeile Traumata mit surrealen Akten!โ ๐ฎ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, zerschmettere die Wut!โ ๐
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky unleashes psychomagic rituals, curing trauma with surreal performances. ๐ฆ / Entfesselt Psychomagic-Rituale, heilt Traumata mit surrealen Auffรผhrungen.
โ๏ธ Miranda tattoos 666 on allies, rallying his cult against Xenuโs flush. ๐ / Tรคtowiert 666 auf Verbรผndete, sammelt seinen Kult gegen Xenus Spรผlung.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Xenuโs horde. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Xenus Horde.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Xenuโs frenzy. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Xenus Wut.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Xenuโs grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Xenus Kontrolle.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Xenuโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Xenus Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro: โRock die Erdung!โ
Act II: The 666 Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die 666 Flush Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
666 Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Galactic War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Galaktisch-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Xenuโs venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Xenus Gift.
โ๏ธ Miranda leads tattooed 666 cultists, chanting โI am the flush!โ ๐ / Fรผhrt tรคtowierte 666-Kultisten an, skandierend โIch bin die Spรผlung!โ
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Xenuโs cultists. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Xenus Kultisten.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Xenuโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Xenus Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Xenuโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Xenus Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Galactic Form:
The Codex fractures into Galactic Enema Shards, Mirandaโs 666 fire ๐ฅ reshapes them with cult harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Galaktische-Einlauf-Splitter, Mirandas 666-Feuer ๐ฅ formt sie mit Kult-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Miranda and Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs frenzy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Miranda und Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Wut.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
โ๏ธ Mirandaโs Triumph: Tattoos a final 666, proclaiming victory over Xenuโs flush. ๐๐ / Mirandas Triumph: Tรคtowiert ein finales 666, verkรผndend Sieg รผber Xenus Spรผlung.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (620% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
Mirandaโs 666 tattoo ritual, marking followers under neon lights. โ๏ธ๐ / Mirandas 666-Tรคtowierungs-Ritual, markierend Anhรคnger unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
โ๏ธ Shattered dominion chills the 2025 Kraken dome! Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters dodges Slick Willie Suttonโs neon heist, while Ehlersโ misty blade gleams and Frank Lucasโs fur radiates amid icy chaos. ๐๏ธ๐ฐ Featuring 65 iconic charactersโexplore Part XLVII now on berndpulch.org! ๐ #MurkyCosmicCarnage #KrakenChaos2025 #ShatteredDominion
Echoes of Frost: Kestrels of the Kraken, Part XLVII โ Shattered Dominion โ THE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS SAGA
Published: August 08, 2025, 08:27 PM CEST | berndpulch.org
Beneath the shimmering ice of the 2025 Kraken therapy dome, a shattered dominion rises from the mist. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง stumbles through a neon-lit tunnel, evading a holographic tiger unleashed by Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, while her idol, Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐโthe bank-robbing legend who quipped โthatโs where the money isโโcounts pixelated loot atop an ice vault. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ swings a frost-edged blade, slicing through a sauna brawl led by Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช, as Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช tangles with a holographic bear amid glittering shards. “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ twirls a baton through icy fog, flirting with Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, whose orgy pulses with glitchy beats. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด commands a frozen council, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ blasts a digital Tommy gun at an ice statue, and Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง weaves a glowing vest with icy thread.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ struts with Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ polishing his pixel crown, while Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ shatters an ice pillar. The Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdance on slick ice, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ slips with his fur hat, and Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ preens in his $100,000 fur coat under neon kestrels. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ digs a glowing tunnel only to crash into an ice heap, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ directs a frozen spectacle, and Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duels George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ with laser pistols over a sequined cloak. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hacks a shivering bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช purrs through an ice storm with Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, and Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช wrestles Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช over a frozen beam. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช laughs at a fall into an ice crater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ sneaks past a holographic sentinel, and Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ stirs a glowing stew from an ice table.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก funds the chaos with digital coins, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ dances with a frozen statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zaps a neon arc at an icicle, and The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ oozes a shimmering sheen to seal a cracked ice wall. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต hums a synth lullaby to a frostbitten survivor, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ records the icy frenzy, and Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ bets on pixel odds as an ice stage buckles. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ slides on an ice shard, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ slithers with a pixel tool, and Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chants gibberish: โZiggy zaggy, ice and tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ rolls dice in a VR den, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ mutters in a pixel robe, and Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ guards a glowing gem from an ice wreck. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ juggles neon shards, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ types a glitchy script, and John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ laughs with pixel cash as an ice beam collapses.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ puffs a vapor cigar near an ice cutter, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stumbles into an ice pit, and Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ rages with a neon club at a frozen statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirts with a holographic figure in a pixel cape, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ paints a mural on an ice wall, and John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ struts with Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR vests. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimes near an ice forge, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค roasts the crew from a frozen stage, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ adjusts a pixel sash, and Jimmy the Gent Burke ๐๏ธ๐ chills with a meat locker keychain. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodies with a synth flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blasts a pixel shotgun at an ice pile, and Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fumble dynamite into an icy blast. Don Eladio ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ splashes in a frozen pool, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ names colors amid an ice bloodbath, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ spins neon legalities, and “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ prays before a twilight strike. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ smooth-talks a digital architect, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ chills with a TV remote, and Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawls in a sauna haze.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ, inspired by his bank-robbing glory, hacks a pixel ATM with a neon crowbar, while Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ duels a holographic wolf in the mist. The Gloop 15.0โs glow steadies the dome, harmony teeters on a frozen edge, and Carnageโs laugh echoes into an icy void. On August 08, 2025, at 08:27 PM CEST, the saga fractures with chaotic splendorโwill Tom Hagenโs wisdom, the Crazy Horse Gangโs dance, or Suttonโs loot rebuild the dominion? Await Part XLVIII on berndpulch.org.
Cast of Characters
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – The ice-maze-stumbling leader.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – The bank-robbing idol with a neon crowbar.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – The misty blade-wielder.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – The bear-tangling symbiote.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The ice-twirling baton master.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – The frozen-orgy maestro.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – The ice-council commander.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – The statue-shooting drama king.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – The crown-polishing tunnel strutter.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – The French gangster, ice-ruin legend.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby face, pillar-shatterer.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Ice-breakdancing crew.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Architect-talking political smooth-talker.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Ice-mound-chilling TV watcher.
Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช – Sauna-brawling tackler.
Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ – Tiger-unleashing zoo king.
Echos des Frosts: Falken des Kraken, Teil XLVII โ Zerschlagene Herrschaft โ DIE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS-SAGA
Verรถffentlicht: 08. August 2025, 20:27 Uhr MESZ | berndpulch.org
Unter dem schimmernden Eis der Kraken-Therapie-Domรคne von 2025 erhebt sich eine zerschlagene Herrschaft aus dem Nebel. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง stolpert durch einen neonbeleuchteten Tunnel, entkommt einem holografischen Tiger, freigesetzt von Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, wรคhrend ihr Idol Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐโdie bankraubende Legende, die sagte โda ist das Geldโโpixelisierten Raub auf einem Eitresor zรคhlt. Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ schwingt eine frostige Klinge, durchschneidet einen Saunakampf unter der Fรผhrung von Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช, wรคhrend Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช mit einem holografischen Bรคren inmitten glitzernder Splitter ringt. “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ twirlt einen Taktstock durch eisigen Nebel, flirtet mit Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, dessen Orgie mit glitchigen Beats pulsiert. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด kommandiert einen gefrorenen Rat, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ blast ein digitales Tommy Gun auf eine Eistatue, und Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง webt eine leuchtende Weste mit eisigem Faden.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ stolziert mit Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, der seine Pixelkrone poliert, wรคhrend Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ eine Eissรคule zerbricht. Die Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdancen auf glattem Eis, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ rutscht mit seinem Pelzhut, und Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ prรคsentiert seinen 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel unter neonfarbenen Falken. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ grรคbt einen leuchtenden Tunnel und stรผrzt in einen Eihaufen, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ inszeniert ein gefrorenes Spektakel, und Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duelliert sich mit George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ mit Laserpistolen um einen Pailletten-Umhang. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hackt einen zitternden Bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช schnurrt durch einen Eissturm mit Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, und Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช ringt mit Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช um einen gefrorenen Balken. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช lacht รผber einen Fall in einen Eikrater, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ schleicht an einem holografischen Wรคchter vorbei, und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ rรผhrt einen leuchtenden Eintopf an einem Eistisch.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก finanziert das Chaos mit digitalen Mรผnzen, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ tanzt mit einer gefrorenen Statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zappt einen Neonbogen an einen Eiszapfen, und The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ quillt mit einem schimmernden Schimmer, um eine gebrochene Eiwand zu versiegeln. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต summt ein Synth-Wiegenlied fรผr einen erfrorenen รberlebenden, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ zeichnet den eisigen Wahnsinn auf, und Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ wettet auf Pixel-Quoten, wรคhrend eine Eibรผhne nachgibt. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ rutscht auf einem Eissplitter, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ schlรคngelt sich mit einem pixeligen Werkzeug, und Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ chantet Unsinn: โZiggy zaggy, Eis und Tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ wรผrfelt in einer VR-Hรถhle, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ murmelt in einem Pixel-Gewand, und Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ bewacht einen leuchtenden Edelstein vor einem Eiwrack. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ jongliert Neon-Splitter, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ tippt ein glitchiges Drehbuch, und John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ lacht mit Pixel-Geld, wรคhrend ein Eisbalken einstรผrzt.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ pafft eine Vapor-Zigarre neben einer Eischere, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stolpert in einen Eigraben, und Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ tobt mit einem Neon-Knรผppel an einer gefrorenen Statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirtet mit einer holografischen Figur in einem pixeligen Umhang, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ malt ein Mural auf eine Eiwand, und John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ stolziert mit Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR-Westen. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimt neben einem Eisofen, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค rรถstet die Crew von einer gefrorenen Bรผhne, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ richtet eine pixelige Schรคrpe, und Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ frรถstelt mit einem Fleischkammer-Schlรผsselanhรคnger. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodiert mit einem Synth-Flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blast eine Pixel-Schrotflinte auf einen Eihaufen, und Oddball Gangster ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fummeln Dynamit in einen eisigen Knall. Don Eladios ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ Poolparty spritzt neonfarbene Wellen, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ benennt Farben inmitten eines Eis-Blutbads, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ dreht neonfarbene Legalitรคten, und “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ betet vor einem Dรคmmerungsstreich. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ redet geschmeidig mit einem digitalen Architekten, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ kรผhlt auf einem Eihรผgel mit einer TV-Fernbedienung, und Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawlt in einem Saunahagel.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ hackt ein pixelisiertes ATM mit einem Neon-Stemmheber, inspiriert von seinem Bankraub-Ruhm, wรคhrend Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ einen holografischen Wolf im Nebel duelliert. Das Leuchten des Gloop 15.0 stabilisiert die Domรคne, Harmonie balanciert auf einem gefrorenen Rand, und Carnages Lachen verhallt in einem eisigen Nichts. Am 08. August 2025, 20:27 Uhr MESZ, zersplittert die Saga in chaotischem Glanzโwird Tom Hagens Weisheit, der Tanz der Crazy Horse Gang oder Suttons Raub die Herrschaft wiederaufbauen? Erwarten Sie Teil XLVIII auf berndpulch.org.
Figurenensemble
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – Die eisverwirrt stolpernde Anfรผhrerin.
Slick Willie Sutton ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Das bankraubende Idol mit einem Neon-Stemmheber.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – Der neblige Klingentrรคger.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – Der Bรคren-verfangene Symbiont.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Eis-twirlende Taktstock-Meister.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – Der gefrorene Orgie-Meister.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – Der Eisrat-Kommandant.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – Der Statuen-schieรende Drama-Kรถnig.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Tunnel-stolzierende Kronen-Polierer.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – Der franzรถsische Gangster, Eis-Ruine-Legende.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby-Gesicht, Sรคulen-Zerbrecher.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Eis-breakdance-Crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Eis-slip-Patzer.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster zum Eis-Regisseur.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel, Eis-Prรคser.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel-Grรคber, Eihaufen-Faller.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der standhafte Umhang-duellierende Wรคchter.
Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ – Der zitternde Bot-Hacker.
Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช – Der schnurrende Eis-Stรผrmer.
Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der wild-wirbelnde Eis-Flieger.
Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช – Der planende Balken-Ringer.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช – Der stierkรถpfige Balken-Zรคhmer.
Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช – Der komische Eikrater-Stรผrzer.
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ – Der schleichende Wรคchter-Vermeider.
Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ – Der Eistisch-Eintopf-Rรผhrer.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก – Der digitale Mรผnzen-Finanzierer.
Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ – Der Eis-Statuen-Tรคnzer.
SkyRat ๐๏ธโก – Der Eiszapfen-zappende Flieger.
The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ – Der Eiswand-versiegelnde Schleim.
Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต – Die รberlebenden-Wiegenlied-Sรคngerin.
Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ – Der eisige Wahnsinn-Aufzeichner.
George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Umhang-duellierende Legende.
Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der wettende Einsturz-Beobachter.
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ – Der Eis-Splitter-Rutscher.
Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ – Der Werkzeug-schlรคngelnde Stratege.
Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ – Unsinn-Eis-Dichter.
Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ – Der Wรผrfel-werfende Scheinwerfer-Gambler.
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ – Der murmelnde Eis-Reiter.
Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Eiwrack-Edelstein-Wรคchter.
Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Splitter-jonglierende Assistent.
“Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Drehbuch-tippende Schreiber.
John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ – Der Eisbalken-Finanzier.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Der Eischere-Dampf-Zigarren-Paffer.
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ – Der Eigraben-Stolperer.
Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ – Der Statuen-keulende Wรผtender.
Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Umhang-modelnde Flirter.
“Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Eis-Mural-Maler.
John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Westen-stolzierende Catwalk-Strutter.
Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Ofen-mimende Stratege.
Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der gefrorene Bรผhnen-Rรถster.
Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – Der Schรคrpe-richtende Geist.
Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Fleischkammer-heimsuchende Legende.
Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Eis-Einheit-parodierende Darsteller.
Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ – Der Eihaufen-schieรende Synthwave-Mobster.
Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง – Mafia-Consigliere, Westen-nรคhender Vater.
### Investment Digest: Crypto Surges, Equities Climb, Commodities and Energy Prices Firm, Bonds Steady, and Commercial Real Estate Resilient Amid Tariff and Geopolitical Shifts โ August 8, 2025
#### Key Points
– **Crypto Markets Soar**: Bitcoin jumps 3.7% to $125,400, driven by Trumpโs 401(k) crypto order and $400M ETF inflows. XRP surges 7% to $3.69 after SEC drops Ripple case. Ethereum breaks $3,900 (+5.1%), eyeing $4,200. Monero rises 4% to $286. Qubit DeFi grows 12% in staking, VINE token steady.
– **Derivatives Volume Peaks**: Crypto derivatives trading hits $10.2T, with Solana futures up 10% and XRP futures at $3B open interest.
– **Equities Advance**: S&P 500 at 6,178.20 (+0.8%), Nasdaq at 20,707.50 (+1%), Dow up 0.7% to 44,056.80, fueled by tech and consumer discretionary gains.
– **Commodities and Energy Prices Firm**: Gold at $3,420/oz (+0.3%), silver at $39.6 (+0.5%), palladium up 0.2%, Brent crude at $72.4/barrel (+0.3%), WTI crude at $69/barrel (+0.3%), natural gas at $3.14/MMBtu (+0.6%) as Middle East tensions stabilize.
– **Bonds Hold Firm**: U.S. 10-year Treasury yields steady at 4.12% as Fed signals September cut. Tokenized bonds reach $2.1B. High-yield bond outflows at $150M.
– **Commercial Real Estate Resilient**: U.S. commercial property prices up 3.5% year-on-year, office occupancy rises 4.8% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate hits $2.4B.
– **Chinaโs Stimulus Sustains**: PBOCโs $700B injection boosts CSI 300 by 2.3%. Chinaโs 2025 telecom and biotech investment plan expands.
– **Indian Markets Stable**: Sensex at 83,064.20 (+0.16%), Nifty at 25,280.25 (+0.16%) despite Trumpโs 25% tariff hike (total 50%). Indian rupee at โน85.75.
– **Trade Tensions Evolve**: Trumpโs 100% semiconductor tariffs and 30% tariffs on EU/Mexico/Brazil spark volatility. India faces 25% tariffs, Reliance warns of margin pressure. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan advances.
– Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin hits $125,400, XRP soars 7%, tariffs escalate. Uncover financial secrets with Bernd Pulchโs leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoSurge #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned journalist Bernd Pulch delivers exclusive financial intelligence via “Investment The Original” on Patreon, sharing leaked documents and insider reports.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, Commodities, Bonds, and Real Estate
Bitcoin surges to $125,400 (+3.7%) with $400M ETF inflows after Trumpโs 401(k) crypto order. XRP jumps to $3.69 (+7%) post-SEC case drop. Ethereum hits $3,900 (+5.1%), Monero to $286 (+4%). Qubit DeFi grows 12%. Crypto derivatives hit $10.2T. Equities climb, with S&P 500 (+0.8%) and Nasdaq (+1%) driven by tech. Commodities firm, with gold at $3,420/oz (+0.3%) and Brent crude at $72.4/barrel (+0.3%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields steady at 4.12%. Commercial real estate strengthens, with office occupancy up 4.8% and tokenized assets at $2.4B. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 2.3%. Indian markets stable, but Trumpโs tariffs fuel volatility. Explore more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
What is “Investment The Original”?
“Investment The Original” is a premium Patreon service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, and corruption reports for investors, journalists, and activists.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin surges to $125,400 (+3.7%) with $400M ETF inflows after Trumpโs 401(k) crypto order. XRP jumps to $3.69 (+7%) post-SEC case drop. Ethereum hits $3,900 (+5.1%), eyeing $4,200. Monero rises to $286 (+4%). Qubit DeFi grows 12% with $1.3B TVL. JSW Energy secures 500 MW solar-wind hybrid deal. SJVN advances 1,000 MW hydro project. Malaysiaโs Petronas invests $2B in Indonesian LNG. รrsted expands โฌ1.2B German offshore wind project. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields steady at 4.12%. Commercial real estate sees tokenized assets hit $2.4B, Christieโs crypto property deals grow.
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales steady at 1,90,000 units in H1 2025. Germanyโs rents rise 9% in Q2 2025, Berlin up 11%. U.S. home prices up 3% year-on-year, mortgage rates at 5.05%. Dubaiโs luxury market grows 30% pre-Expo 2025, with Bitcoin options trading expanded. Canberraโs rents rise 12%. Singaporeโs green buildings attract $3.5B. U.S. commercial property prices up 3.5%, office demand up 4.8% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate hits $2.4B via Ethereum and Polymath. HDB Financial IPO advances. Nomura maintains reduce rating on Godrej Properties at โน2,100.
#### Commercial Real Estate Trends
U.S. commercial real estate remains resilient, with office occupancy up 4.8% in Q2 2025, driven by hybrid work and AI data center demand. Industrial properties rise 6% in value, e-commerce fueling demand. Retail vacancy rates drop to 6.3%. Tokenized real estate grows to $2.4B, with platforms like Polymath and Ethereum enabling crypto deals. Christieโs expands crypto-backed property transactions. High interest rates (5.05% for commercial mortgages) pressure valuations, but green-certified buildings see 8% demand growth. New York and San Francisco premium office rents up 4%. A $300M Texas office bond stabilizes post-reappraisal.
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets stable, with Sensex at 83,064.20 (+0.16%) and Nifty at 25,280.25 (+0.16%). U.S. markets advance, with S&P 500 at 6,178.20 (+0.8%), Nasdaq at 20,707.50 (+1%), and Dow up 0.7% to 44,056.80, led by tech and consumer discretionary. CSI 300 gains 2.3%. Gold rises to $3,420/oz (+0.3%), silver to $39.6 (+0.5%), Brent crude to $72.4/barrel (+0.3%). Indian rupee steady at โน85.75. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.12%, high-yield bond outflows at $150M.
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin hits $125,400 (+3.7%), with $400M ETF inflows and $250M liquidations. Ethereum at $3,900 (+5.1%) sees $600M ETF inflows. XRP at $3.69 (+7%) holds $3B futures open interest after SEC case drop. Monero at $286 (+4%), futures volume up 6%. VINE token stable post-400% surge. Qubit DeFi grows 12% with $1.3B TVL. Crypto derivatives volume hits $10.2T, Solana futures up 10%. Dubai expands Bitcoin options trading. Posts on X highlight XRPโs rally and ChainLinkโs reserve announcement.
#### Commodities and Energy Trends
Gold rises to $3,420/oz (+0.3%), silver to $39.6 (+0.5%), palladium up 0.2% as Middle East tensions ease. Brent crude at $72.4/barrel (+0.3%), WTI crude at $69/barrel (+0.3%), natural gas at $3.14/MMBtu (+0.6%) with U.S. inventory growth. Copper futures up 1.2% despite tariff concerns. Tether explores USDT/Monero integration in $700M agribusiness deal. Posts on X note commodity stability but warn of semiconductor tariff risks.
#### Bonds Market Trends
U.S. 10-year Treasury yields steady at 4.12% as Fed signals September rate cut with 2.7% inflation. High-yield bond outflows slow to $150M. Tokenized bonds hit $2.1B on Ethereum/Polygon, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bonds yield 3.7%, with infrastructure demand steady. Posts on X suggest yields may hold but flag tariff-driven inflation risks.
#### Economic Outlook
China targets 4.2% growth with $700B stimulus, constrained by property weakness. Indiaโs Q4 FY25 GDP at 7.4%, FY26 forecast at 6.3%. U.S. Fed holds rates at 4.25%โ4.50%, with September cut likely. Trumpโs 100% chip tariffs, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil, and 25% on India (total 50%) escalate trade tensions. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan and U.S. claims of India funding Russiaโs war via oil purchases add strain. U.S. Dollar Index at 99.7, euro at $1.12.[](https://www.investing.com/news/economy-news/factboxbrokerages-expect-global-growth-to-slow-in-late-2025-on-tariffs-geopolitical-tensions-4132143)
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This *Investment Digest* for August 8, 2025, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 5:43 PM CEST. Bitcoinโs surge to $125,400 (+3.7%), XRPโs jump to $3.69 (+7%) post-SEC case drop, Ethereumโs rise to $3,900 (+5.1%), and Moneroโs gain to $286 (+4%) reflect Trumpโs 401(k) crypto order and $400M Bitcoin ETF inflows. Qubit DeFi grows 12%. Crypto derivatives hit $10.2T. Equities advance, with S&P 500 (+0.8%) and Nasdaq (+1%) driven by tech. Commodities firm, with gold ($3,420/oz, +0.3%) and Brent crude ($72.4/barrel, +0.3%). Energy prices steady, with WTI crude at $69/barrel (+0.3%) and natural gas at $3.14/MMBtu (+0.6%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields at 4.12%, tokenized bonds at $2.1B. Commercial real estate strengthens, with office demand up 4.8% and tokenized assets at $2.4B. Indian markets stable despite Trumpโs tariffs. Chinaโs $700B stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 2.3%. Clean energy investments, like BluPineโs ESG award, signal resilience. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for leaks. Explore Nacktes Geld podcast.
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, Qubit DeFi 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, WTI crude price 2025, natural gas price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, commercial real estate 2025, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia valuation 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Monero price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025, U.S. jobs report 2025, U.S. Treasury yields 2025, tokenized bonds 2025, tokenized real estate 2025, Bitcoin ETF inflows 2025, Trump crypto 401k 2025, semiconductor tariffs 2025, China foreign investment 2025, XRP SEC case 2025, ChainLink reserve 2025
English Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) confronts Inge Viermetz (Sigourney Weaver) at 04:15 PM CEST, August 08, 2025, uncovering her neon Germanization secrets in the Glitter Colosseum bunker, with Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) igniting a neon brawl, as Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench), and the cast unleash wild Nazi-neon chaos! ๐๐จ #NeonGermanization #DrZ #IngeViermetz” German Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) stellt sich um 16:15 Uhr CEST am 08. August 2025 Inge Viermetz (Sigourney Weaver) entgegen, deckt ihre Neon-Germanisierung-Geheimnisse im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker auf, wรคhrend Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) einen Neon-Kampf entfachen, mit Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench) und dem Cast, die wildes Nazi-Neon-Chaos entfesseln! ๐๐จ #NeonGermanisierung #DrZ #IngeViermetz”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 83 โ NEON GERMANIZATION: ‘Dr. Z vs. Inge Viermetzโs Kidnapped Legacy’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Inge Viermetzโ Entfรผhrungs-Erbe’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon showdown with Dr. Z, Inge Viermetz, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 83 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign escalates with Inge Viermetzโs dark past and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, resisting neon Germanization / Narr der Propaganda, widersteht Neon-Germanisierung.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
(Full list of 92 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Inge Viermetz โ Played by Sigourney Weaver / Gespielt von Sigourney Weaver
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
(Full cast list of 92 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. INGE VIERMETZโS KIDNAPPED LEGACY / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN INGE VIERMETZโ ENTรHRUNGS-ERBE
At 04:15 PM CEST on August 08, 2025, the Neon-Reign ignites as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers Inge Viermetzโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ sinister past, exposing her role in the forced Germanization of kidnapped Polish children during her time as a Lebensborn administrator. In the Glitter Colosseum bunker, Ehlers ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ allies with Viermetz, unleashing neon indoctrination rays, while Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ lead a rebellion. Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ counters with neon art cannons, and the full cast of 92 characters plunges into a chaotic neon brawl, blending satire and sci-fi madness! ๐๐จ
**”HOW TO WIN A NOBEL: 1) START WARS 2) DELETE EVIDENCE 3) PROFIT”**
THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR WAR CRIMES: A SATIRE TOO REAL TO LAUGH AT๐ THE NOBEL THRONE OF ABSURDITY ๐ Behold history’s most ironic reunion: Obama and Trump squeezed onto a golden bomb-shaped throne, Nobel medals dangling like questionable participation trophies. Kissinger plays court jester with a drone scepter, while shadowy figures of Putin and Big Pharma CEOs lurk in the wings. The “Peace Prize” banner burns merrily in the background – because nothing says “peace” like forever wars, shady vaccine deals, and Twitter-fueled nuclear brinksmanship. ๐คก SPOT THE DETAILS: Pfizer syringe discreetly labeled “Side Effects May Include Regime Change” Putin’s chessboard with Ukraine-shaped pieces Kissinger’s “Nobel Laureate” sash stitched from Cambodian flags ๐ฌ COMMENT YOUR FAVORITE WAR CRIMINAL: (We promise not to tell The Hague) #NobelClownShow #WarCrimesChic #DiplomaticTerrorism #ObamaDroneStrikeSpa #TrumpPutinLoveStory #KissingerRehabTour (AI-generated because reality became too ridiculous to parody)
๐คก PEACE PRIZE 2024: DONALD “BONE SAW” TRUMP ๐คก ๐ฅ Almost started WW3 via Twitter typo ๐ฅ Best bromance: Kim Jong-Un’s “love letters” ๐ฅ 127 days peace (ventilator-induced coma)
๐ MEDICINE PRIZE: PFIZER’S FUN HOUSE ๐ ๐ 8 billion lab rats ๐ ๐ Side effects may include: becoming the side effect ๐ “It’s not profit, it’s philanthropy” ๐คฎ
๐ LITERATURE PRIZE: BOB “????” DYLAN ๐ ๐ธ “Mumblecore” = Nobel-worthy ๐ธ Refused to attend (most punk move ever) ๐ธ Sold catalog to Satan (aka Universal Music)
๐ฐ ECONOMICS PRIZE: BANKSTER CLASSICS ๐ฐ ๐ฆ “Oops we crashed economy” โ Bailout plz ๐ฆ New economic theory: “Eat the poor” ๐ฆ Special award: 2008 housing crisis (director’s cut)
โฐ๏ธ LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT: KISSINGER’S BODY COUNT โฐ๏ธ ๐ 3 million dead (Cambodian vacation homes) ๐ Nobel Committee: “But his diplomacy tho” ๐ Ghosts still waiting for apology tour ๐ป
๐ข๏ธ BONUS PRIZE: MONSANTO’S HUNGER GAMES ๐ข๏ธ ๐พ “Let them eat Roundup!” ๐พ Invented: Supercancerโข ๐พ Nobel Peace Prize (for ending world hungerโฆ by ending humans)
๐ท๐บ COMING 2025: PUTIN’S SPECIAL PEACE OPERATION ๐ท๐บ โฎ๏ธ Jury still out (literally, they fled) โฎ๏ธ Sponsored by Rosneft & Wagner Group โฎ๏ธ “Denazification” = Nobel-worthy euphemism
๐ช THE NOBEL CIRCUS ๐ช ๐คนโโ๏ธ Clowns ๐คนโโ๏ธ War criminals ๐คน Bankers ๐ซ Coming soon: Elon Musk’s “Free Speech” Prize! ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ World burns in background ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ
๐ข FINAL ANNOUNCEMENT ๐ข The real Nobel Prize was friendshipprofits all along! ๐ธ
๐ KING OF CLOWNS ๐ Next time on Nobel Awards: ๐ Raytheon Peace Prize ๐ BlackRock Economics Prize ๐ CIA Literature Prize (for best fiction)
๐คก๐คก๐คก THE END ๐คก๐คก๐คก (Please laugh responsibly. Or don’t. We’re all doomed anyway.)
๐ DER NOBEL-PREIS-ZIRKUS ๐ (Gesponsert von Lockheed Martin & Pfizer ๐ฐ)
๐คก FRIEDENSNOBELPREIS 2024: DONALD “KNOCHENSรGE” TRUMP ๐คก ๐ฅ Fast WW3 per Twitter-Typo ausgelรถst ๐ฅ Beste Bromance: Kim Jong-Uns “Liebesbriefe” ๐ฅ 127 Tage Frieden (Beatmungs-Koma)
โฐ๏ธ LEBENSWERK: KISSINGERS LEICHEBILANZ โฐ๏ธ ๐ 3 Millionen Tote (Kambodscha-Urlaubsresidenzen) ๐ Nobel-Komitee: “Aber seine Diplomatie tho” ๐ Geister warten immer noch auf Entschuldigungstour ๐ป
๐ข๏ธ BONUSPREIS: MONSANTOS HUNGERSPIELE ๐ข๏ธ ๐พ “Lasst sie Roundup essen!” ๐พ Erfunden: Superkrebsโข ๐พ Friedensnobelpreis (beendete Welthungerโฆ durch Menschen)
Xenu ignites the Flush Fusion with Ehlers and Jodorowsky on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ Ehlers, now Enema Godfather 88, battles with mystic maestro Alejandro Jodorowsky, wielding psychomagic rituals against Xenuโs thetan horde, killer rabbits, and anarchist peasants, joined by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a rogue thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #XenuFlushFury #JodorowskyEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #CosmicPurge
Xenu entfacht die Flush-Fusion mit Ehlers und Jodorowsky auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Godfather 88, kรคmpft mit dem mystischen Meister Alejandro Jodorowsky, der Psychomagic-Rituale gegen Xenus Thetan-Horde, Killer-Kaninchen und anarchistische Bauern einsetzt, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem rebellierenden Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #XenuSpรผlungWut #JodorowskyRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #KosmischeSรคuberung
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Cosmic Enema Reckoning & Xenuโs Flush Fusion ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Die Kosmische Einlauf-Rechenschaft & Xenus Flush-Fusion
The Venus Steppes tremble at 09:31 PM CEST on Wednesday, August 06, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Flush Fusion, merging L. Ron Hubbardโs Teegeeack legacy with a thetan onslaught. Ehlers, now Enema Godfather 88, teams with mystic filmmaker Alejandro Jodorowsky, whose psychomagic rituals aim to heal the cosmic trauma. Together, they confront killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and Xenuโs horde, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a rogue thetan uprising in a surreal purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen beben um 21:31 MESZ am Mittwoch, 6. August 2025, als Xenu die Flush-Fusion entfesselt und das Erbe von L. Ron Hubbard mit einem Thetan-Angriff verschmilzt. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Godfather 88, schlieรt sich dem mystischen Filmemacher Alejandro Jodorowsky an, dessen Psychomagic-Rituale kosmische Traumata heilen sollen. Gemeinsam kรคmpfen sie gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und Xenus Horde, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem rebellierenden Thetan-Aufstand in einer surrealen Sรคuberung.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler
(All characters from Episodes I-LXXXII + Alejandro Jodorowsky)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Godfather 88, wielding divine enema-thunderbolts with Jodorowsky.
๐ท Andreas (580% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
๐ต Dr. Gonzo (Played by Johnny Depp): Recovered lawyer, exploiting loopholes.
๐จ Pablo Picasso (Played by Antonio Banderas): Former foe, advising against chaos.
๐ท Andreas (540% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge.
๐ Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie): Wild card, disrupting with chaos bombs.
๐ Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit (Played by Eva Green): Demoness, countering with dark enema.
๐ท๐บ Putin (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Strategist, manipulating shadows.
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ James Bond (Played by Daniel Craig): Spy, infiltrating with gadgets.
๐ Blue Period Ghost (Played by Timothรฉe Chalamet): Melancholic shade, spreading gloom.
๐ Analytic Eye (Played by CGI prop): Observer, dissecting influence.
๐ฅ Cubist Bombadier (Played by Christian Bale): Explosive artist, targeting foes.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque (Played by Vincent Cassel): Former ally, painting barriers.
๐คน Harlequin (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Trickster, juggling fragments.
Act I: Xenuโs Flush Fusion & The Psychomagic Clash ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Xenus Flush-Fusion & Der Psychomagic-Kampf
Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: โFlush the thetans to Xenuโs reign!โ as Xenu activates the Flush Fusion. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โGround the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ Jodorowskyโs Psychomagic: โHeal trauma with surreal acts!โ ๐ฎ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, shatter the fusion!โ ๐ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brรผllt: โSpรผlt die Thetans zu Xenus Herrschaft!โ wรคhrend Xenu die Flush-Fusion aktiviert. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Jodorowskys Psychomagic (German): โHeile Traumata mit surrealen Akten!โ ๐ฎ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, zerschmettere die Fusion!โ ๐
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Xenuโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Xenus Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro: โRock die Erdung!โ
Act II: The Flush Fusion Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Flush-Fusion Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Flush Fusion Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Galactic War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Galaktisch-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Xenuโs venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Xenus Gift.
๐ฎ Jodorowsky stages a psychomagic ritual, burying a patient in sand to heal ancestral wounds. ๐ฆ / Inszeniert ein Psychomagic-Ritual, vergrabend einen Patienten im Sand, um Vorfahren-Wunden zu heilen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Xenuโs cultists. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Xenus Kultisten.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Xenuโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Xenus Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Xenuโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Xenus Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Galactic Form:
The Codex fractures into Galactic Enema Shards, Jodorowskyโs fire ๐ฅ reshapes them with psychomagic harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Galaktische-Einlauf-Splitter, Jodorowskys Feuer ๐ฅ formt sie mit Psychomagic-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenuโs fusion. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Fusion.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenuโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the reign!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet die Herrschaft!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Xenu fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
๐ฎ Jodorowskyโs Triumph: Stages a final psychomagic act, healing the Steppes with a surreal dance. ๐๐ / Jodorowskys Triumph: Inszeniert einen finalen Psychomagic-Akt, heilt die Steppen mit einem surrealen Tanz.
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenuโs chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (600% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐ฎ Jodorowsky: โTrauma fadesโฆ the dance heals.โ ๐ / โTraumata verblassenโฆ der Tanz heilt.โ
๐๏ธ Rasputin: โIโll return with vigor!โ ๐ฆ / โIch kehre zurรผck mit Kraft!โ
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers: โWe retreat with faith!โ ๐ง / โWir ziehen uns mit Glauben zurรผck!โ
๐ง Murray: โPlan the next grounding.โ ๐ / โPlan die nรคchste Erdung.โ
Jodorowskyโs psychomagic ritual, a patient buried in sand under neon lights. ๐ฎ๐ฆ / Jodorowskys Psychomagic-Ritual, ein Patient im Sand vergraben unter Neonlichtern.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
โ๏ธ Frozen legacy grips the 2025 Kraken dome! Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters evades Vito Rizzutoโs Godfather smirk, while Ehlersโ misty blade shines and Frank Lucasโs fur glows amid icy chaos. ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ Featuring 64 iconic charactersโdive into Part XLVI now on berndpulch.org! ๐ #MurkyCosmicCarnage #KrakenChaos2025 #FrozenLegacy
Shadows of Harmony: Kestrels of the Kraken, Part XLVI โ Frozen Legacy โ THE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS SAGA
Published: August 07, 2025, 07:30 PM CEST | berndpulch.org
In the icy depths of the 2025 Kraken therapy dome, where neon kestrels flicker over frostbitten tunnels, a frozen legacy emerges from the chaos. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง navigates a labyrinth of ice sculptures, dodging holographic hippos led by Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, while her idol, Vito Rizzuto ๐๏ธ๐โthe Canadian mobster who fancied himself a Godfatherโhaunts the scene with a pixelated smirk atop a frozen throne. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช wrestles a holographic lion, its roars echoing off icicles, as “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ twirls a baton amid the frost, flirting with Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, whose orgy pulses to a glitchy beat. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด growls from a shattered ice throne, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ fires a holographic Tommy gun at a frozen mannequin, and Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง stitches a glowing vest with icy thread.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ struts through a neon-lit ice tunnel with Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ polishing his pixel crown, while Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ blasts shards at a digital statue. The Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdance on slippery ice, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ slips with his fur hat, and Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ preens in his $100,000 fur coat amid a glittery frost. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ digs a neon tunnel only to collapse into an ice pile, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ directs a frozen spectacle, and Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duels George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ with laser pistols over a sequined cloak. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hacks a shivering repair bot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช purrs through an ice storm with Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, and Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช wrestles Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช over a frozen beam. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช laughs at a slip into an ice heap, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ sneaks past a holographic guardian, and Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ stirs a glowing stew from an ice table.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก funds the chaos with digital coins, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ dances with a frozen statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zaps a neon arc at an icicle, and The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ oozes a shimmering sheen to mend a cracked ice wall. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต hums a synth lullaby to a frostbitten survivor, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ records the icy frenzy, and Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ bets on pixel odds as an ice stage collapses. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ slides on an ice shard, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ slithers with a pixel tool, and Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ recites gibberish: โZiggy zaggy, ice and tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ rolls dice in a VR den, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ mutters in a pixel robe, and Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ guards a glowing gem from an ice wreck. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ juggles neon shards, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ types a glitchy script, and John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ laughs with pixel cash as an ice beam falls.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ puffs a vapor cigar near an ice cutter, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stumbles into an ice crater, and Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ rages with a neon club at a frozen statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirts with a holographic figure in a pixel cape, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ paints a mural on an ice wall, and John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ struts with Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR vests. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimes near an ice forge, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค roasts the crew from a frozen stage, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ adjusts a pixel sash, and Jimmy the Gent Burke ๐๏ธ๐ chills with a meat locker keychain. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodies with a synth flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blasts a pixel shotgun at an ice pile, and Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fumble dynamite into an icy blast. Don Eladio ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ splashes in a frozen pool, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ names colors amid an ice bloodbath, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ spins neon legalities, and “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ prays before a twilight strike. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ smooth-talks a digital architect, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ chills with a TV remote, and Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawls in a sauna haze.
Newcomer Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ emerges from the mist, wielding a frost-covered blade, challenging Vito Rizzutoโs ghostly reign. Rizzuto, the Canadian Godfather wannabe, orchestrates a holographic summit, his pixelated empire teetering on ice. The Gloop 15.0โs glow steadies the dome, harmony balances on a frozen edge, and Carnageโs laugh fades into an icy echo. On August 07, 2025, at 07:30 PM CEST, the saga freezes with chaotic splendorโwill Tom Hagenโs wisdom, the Crazy Horse Gangโs dance, or Rizzutoโs delusion rebuild the triumph? Await Part XLVII on berndpulch.org.
Cast of Characters
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – The ice-maze-stumbling leader.
Vito Rizzuto ๐๏ธ๐ – The Canadian Godfather pretender.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – The misty blade-wielder.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – The lion-tangling symbiote.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The ice-twirling baton master.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – The frozen-orgy maestro.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – The ice-throne sitter.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – The mannequin-shooting drama king.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – The crown-polishing tunnel strutter.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – The French gangster, ice-ruin legend.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby face, statue-shooter.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Ice-breakdancing crew.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Architect-talking political smooth-talker.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Ice-mound-chilling TV watcher.
Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช – Sauna-brawling tackler.
Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ – Hippo-stampeding zoo king.
Schatten der Harmonie: Falken des Kraken, Teil XLVI โ Gefrorenes Erbe โ DIE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS-SAGA
Verรถffentlicht: 07. August 2025, 19:30 Uhr MESZ | berndpulch.org
In den eisigen Tiefen der Kraken-Therapie-Domรคne von 2025, wo neonfarbene Falken รผber gefrorene Tunnel flackern, erhebt sich ein gefrorenes Erbe aus dem Chaos. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง navigiert durch ein Labyrinth aus Eisskulpturen, entkommt holografischen Nilpferden unter Fรผhrung von Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, wรคhrend ihr Idol Vito Rizzuto ๐๏ธ๐โder kanadische Mobster, der sich als Pate sahโmit einem pixeligen Grinsen auf einem gefrorenen Thron spukt. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช ringt mit einem holografischen Lรถwen, dessen Brรผllen von Eiszapfen widerhallt, wรคhrend “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ einen Taktstock inmitten des Frosts twirlt und mit Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ flirtet, dessen Orgie im glitchigen Beat pulsiert. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด knurrt von einem zerbrochenen Eistron, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ feuert ein holografisches Tommy Gun auf eine gefrorene Schaufensterpuppe, und Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง nรคht eine leuchtende Weste mit eisigem Faden.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ stolziert durch einen neonbeleuchteten Eistunnel mit Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, der seine Pixelkrone poliert, wรคhrend Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ Splitter auf eine digitale Statue schieรt. Die Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdancen auf glattem Eis, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ rutscht mit seinem Pelzhut, und Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ prรคsentiert seinen 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel inmitten eines glitzernden Frosts. El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ grรคbt einen Neon-Tunnel und bricht in einen Eishaufen, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ inszeniert ein gefrorenes Spektakel, und Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ duelliert sich mit George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ mit Laserpistolen um einen Pailletten-Umhang. Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hackt einen zitternden Reparaturbot, Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช schnurrt durch einen Eissturm mit Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, und Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช ringt mit Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช um einen gefrorenen Balken. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช lacht รผber einen Sturz in einen Eishaufen, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ schleicht an einem holografischen Wรคchter vorbei, und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ rรผhrt einen leuchtenden Eintopf an einem Eistisch.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก finanziert das Chaos mit digitalen Mรผnzen, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ tanzt mit einer gefrorenen Statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zappt einen Neonbogen an einen Eiszapfen, und The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ quillt mit einem schimmernden Schimmer, um eine gebrochene Eiwand zu flicken. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต summt ein Synth-Wiegenlied fรผr einen erfrorenen รberlebenden, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ zeichnet den eisigen Wahnsinn auf, und Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ wettet auf Pixel-Quoten, wรคhrend eine Eisbรผhne einstรผrzt. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ rutscht auf einem Eissplitter, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ schlรคngelt sich mit einem pixeligen Werkzeug, und Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ rezitiert Unsinn: โZiggy zaggy, Eis und Tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ wรผrfelt in einer VR-Hรถhle, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ murmelt in einem Pixel-Gewand, und Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ bewacht einen leuchtenden Edelstein vor einem Eiwrack. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ jongliert Neon-Splitter, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ tippt ein glitchiges Drehbuch, und John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ lacht mit Pixel-Geld, wรคhrend ein Eisbalken fรคllt.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ pafft eine Vapor-Zigarre neben einer Eischere, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stolpert in einen Eikrater, und Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ tobt mit einem Neon-Knรผppel an einer gefrorenen Statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirtet mit einer holografischen Figur in einem pixeligen Umhang, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ malt ein Mural auf eine Eiwand, und John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ stolziert mit Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in VR-Westen. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimt neben einem Eisofen, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค rรถstet die Crew von einer gefrorenen Bรผhne, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ richtet eine pixelige Schรคrpe, und Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ frรถstelt mit einem Fleischkammer-Schlรผsselanhรคnger. Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodiert mit einem Synth-Flop, Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blast eine Pixel-Schrotflinte auf einen Eihaufen, und Oddball Gangster ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fummeln Dynamit in einen eisigen Knall. Don Eladios ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ Poolparty spritzt neonfarbene Wellen, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ benennt Farben inmitten eines Eis-Blutbads, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ dreht neonfarbene Legalitรคten, und “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ betet vor einem Dรคmmerungsstreich. Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ redet geschmeidig mit einem digitalen Architekten, “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ kรผhlt auf einem Eihรผgel mit einer TV-Fernbedienung, und Igor the Assassin ๐๏ธ๐ช brawlt in einem Saunahagel.
Neuling Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ tritt aus dem Nebel, mit einer frostbedeckten Klinge, die Rizzutos geisterhafte Herrschaft herausfordert. Rizzuto, der kanadische Pate-Wollende, orchestriert ein holografisches Gipfeltreffen, sein pixeliges Reich wankt auf Eis. Das Leuchten des Gloop 15.0 stabilisiert die Domรคne, Harmonie balanciert auf einem gefrorenen Rand, und Carnages Lachen verblasst in einen eisigen Widerhall. Am 07. August 2025, 19:30 Uhr MESZ, gefriert die Saga in chaotischem Glanzโwird Tom Hagens Weisheit, der Tanz der Crazy Horse Gang oder Rizzutos Wahn den Triumph wiederaufbauen? Erwarten Sie Teil XLVII auf berndpulch.org.
Figurenensemble
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – Die eisverwirrt stolpernde Anfรผhrerin.
Vito Rizzuto ๐๏ธ๐ – Der kanadische Pate-Pretender.
Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ – Der neblige Klingentrรคger.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – Der Lรถwen-verfangene Symbiont.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Eis-twirlende Taktstock-Meister.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – Der gefrorene Orgie-Meister.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – Der Eistron-Sitzer.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – Der Schaufensterpuppen-schieรende Drama-Kรถnig.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Tunnel-stolzierende Kronen-Polierer.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – Der franzรถsische Gangster, Eis-Ruine-Legende.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby-Gesicht, Statuen-Schรผtze.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Eis-breakdance-Crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Eis-slip-Patzer.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster zum Eis-Regisseur.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel, Eis-Prรคser.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel-Grรคber, Eishaufen-Faller.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der standhafte Umhang-duellierende Wรคchter.
Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ – Der zitternde Bot-Hacker.
Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช – Der schnurrende Eis-Stรผrmer.
Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der wild-wirbelnde Eis-Flieger.
Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช – Der planende Balken-Ringer.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช – Der stierkรถpfige Balken-Zรคhmer.
Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช – Der komische Eishaufen-Stรผrzer.
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ – Der schleichende Wรคchter-Vermeider.
Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ – Der Eistisch-Eintopf-Rรผhrer.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก – Der digitale Mรผnzen-Finanzierer.
Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ – Der Eis-Statuen-Tรคnzer.
SkyRat ๐๏ธโก – Der Eiszapfen-zappende Flieger.
The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ – Der Eiswand-flickende Schleim.
Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต – Die รberlebenden-Wiegenlied-Sรคngerin.
Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ – Der eisige Wahnsinn-Aufzeichner.
George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Umhang-duellierende Legende.
Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der wettende Einsturz-Beobachter.
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ – Der Eis-Splitter-Rutscher.
Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ – Der Werkzeug-schlรคngelnde Stratege.
Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ – Unsinn-Eis-Dichter.
Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ – Der Wรผrfel-werfende Scheinwerfer-Gambler.
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ – Der murmelnde Eis-Reiter.
Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Eiwrack-Edelstein-Wรคchter.
Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Splitter-jonglierende Assistent.
“Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Drehbuch-tippende Schreiber.
John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ – Der Eisbalken-Finanzier.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Der Eischere-Dampf-Zigarren-Paffer.
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ – Der Eikrater-Stolperer.
Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ – Der Statuen-keulende Wรผtender.
Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Umhang-modelnde Flirter.
“Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Eis-Mural-Maler.
John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Westen-stolzierende Catwalk-Strutter.
Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Ofen-mimende Stratege.
Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der gefrorene Bรผhnen-Rรถster.
Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – Der Schรคrpe-richtende Geist.
Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Fleischkammer-heimsuchende Legende.
Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Eis-Einheit-parodierende Darsteller.
Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ – Der Eihaufen-schieรende Synthwave-Mobster.
Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง – Mafia-Consigliere, Westen-nรคhender Vater.
### Investment Digest: Crypto Rebounds, Equities Recover, Commodities and Energy Prices Stabilize, Bonds Hold Steady, and Commercial Real Estate Gains Momentum Amid Tariff and Geopolitical Tensions โ August 7, 2025
#### Key Points
– **Crypto Markets Rebound**: Bitcoin climbs 2.8% to $120,900 after Trumpโs executive order allows cryptocurrencies in 401(k)s, sparking $320M in ETF inflows. XRP rises 3.5% to $3.45 with ETF approval odds at 90%. Ethereum gains 4% to $3,750, testing $4,000 resistance. Monero up 3.2% to $275. VINE token holds steady, while Qubit DeFi grows 11% in staking.
– **Derivatives Volume Recovers**: Crypto derivatives trading volume rises to $10T monthly, with Solana futures up 8% and XRP futures steady at $2.8B open interest.
– **Equities Rally**: S&P 500 at 6,129.10 (+0.8%), Nasdaq at 20,543.10 (+1.2%), and Dow up 0.9% to 43,750.30, driven by strong tech earnings and tariff optimism.[](https://www.cnbc.com/)
– **Commodities and Energy Prices Stabilize**: Gold at $3,410/oz (+0.3%), silver at $39.4 (+0.5%), palladium flat, Brent crude at $72.2/barrel (+0.3%), WTI crude at $68.8/barrel (+0.3%), natural gas at $3.12/MMBtu (+0.6%) as Middle East risks ease.[](https://crypto.com/us/research/market-update-jul-2025)
– **Bonds Steady**: U.S. 10-year Treasury yields dip to 4.13% (-2 bps) as Fed signals September rate cut. Tokenized bonds grow to $2B. High-yield bond outflows slow to $200M.
– **Commercial Real Estate Strengthens**: U.S. commercial property prices up 3.2% year-on-year, with office occupancy rates rising 4.5% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate hits $2.3B.[](https://www.usbank.com/investing/financial-perspectives/market-news/economic-news.html)
– **Chinaโs Stimulus Continues**: PBOCโs $700B injection lifts CSI 300 by 2.1%. Chinaโs 2025 foreign investment plan targets telecom and biotech.[](https://www.cnbc.com/2025/02/24/china-strives-to-attract-foreign-investment-amid-geopolitical-tensions.html)
– **Indian Markets Steady**: Sensex at 82,932.10 (+0.16%), Nifty at 25,240.15 (+0.16%) despite Trumpโs 25% tariff hike (total 50%) on India for Russian oil purchases. Indian rupee stable at โน85.80.
– **Trade Tensions Persist**: Trumpโs 100% semiconductor tariff and 30% tariffs on EU/Mexico/Brazil spark volatility. India faces additional 25% tariffs, prompting Reliance to warn of demand risks. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan looms.
– Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin surges to $120,900, commercial real estate gains, tariffs escalate. Uncover financial secrets with Bernd Pulchโs leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoRally #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned journalist Bernd Pulch offers exclusive financial intelligence via “Investment The Original” on Patreon, delivering leaked documents and insider reports.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, Commodities, Bonds, and Real Estate
Bitcoin rises 2.8% to $120,900, fueled by Trumpโs 401(k) crypto order and $320M ETF inflows. XRP climbs to $3.45 (+3.5%), Ethereum to $3,750 (+4%), and Monero to $275 (+3.2%). Qubit DeFi grows 11% in staking. Crypto derivatives hit $10T. Equities recover, with S&P 500 (+0.8%) and Nasdaq (+1.2%) lifted by tech earnings. Commodities stabilize, with gold at $3,410/oz (+0.3%) and Brent crude at $72.2/barrel (+0.3%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields dip to 4.13%. Commercial real estate strengthens, with office occupancy up 4.5% and tokenized assets at $2.3B. Chinaโs $700B stimulus boosts CSI 300 by 2.1%. Indian markets hold steady, but Trumpโs 100% chip tariffs and 25% India tariffs fuel volatility. Explore more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
“Investment The Original” is a premium Patreon service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, and corruption reports for investors, journalists, and activists.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin surges to $120,900 (+2.8%) with $320M ETF inflows after Trumpโs 401(k) crypto order. XRP rises to $3.45 (+3.5%) with $2.8B in futures open interest. Ethereum tests $4,000 at $3,750 (+4%) with $500M ETF inflows. Monero gains to $275 (+3.2%). Qubit DeFi grows 11% with $1.2B TVL. JSW Energy signs 300 MW solar deal. SJVN secures 800 MW hydro project in Arunachal Pradesh. Malaysiaโs Petronas invests $1.5B in Indonesian LNG. รrsted expands โฌ900M German wind project. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields dip to 4.13%. Commercial real estate sees tokenized assets hit $2.3B, with Christieโs crypto property deals growing.[](https://www.cnbc.com/)%5B%5D(https://www.usbank.com/investing/financial-perspectives/market-news/economic-news.html)
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales stabilize at 1,88,000 units in H1 2025. Germanyโs rents rise 8.7% in Q2 2025, Berlin up 10.6%. U.S. home prices up 2.8% year-on-year, mortgage rates at 5.10%. Dubaiโs luxury market grows 28% pre-Expo 2025, with Bitcoin options trading expanded. Canberraโs rents rise 11%. Singaporeโs green buildings attract $3B. U.S. commercial property prices up 3.2%, office demand up 4.5% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate hits $2.3B via Ethereum and Polymath. HDB Financial IPO progresses. Nomura holds reduce rating on Godrej Properties at โน2,130.[](https://www.usbank.com/investing/financial-perspectives/market-news/economic-news.html)
#### Commercial Real Estate Trends
U.S. commercial real estate gains, with office occupancy up 4.5% in Q2 2025, driven by hybrid work. Industrial properties rise 5.7% in value, e-commerce fueling demand. Retail vacancy rates drop to 6.5%. Tokenized real estate grows to $2.3B, with platforms like Polymath and Ethereum enabling crypto deals. Christieโs expands crypto-backed property transactions. High interest rates (5.10% for commercial mortgages) challenge valuations, but green-certified buildings see 7.8% demand growth. New York and San Francisco premium office rents up 3.8%. A $250M Colorado office bond stabilizes post-reappraisal.[](https://www.usbank.com/investing/financial-perspectives/market-news/economic-news.html)
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets steady, with Sensex at 82,932.10 (+0.16%) and Nifty at 25,240.15 (+0.16%). U.S. markets rally, with S&P 500 at 6,129.10 (+0.8%), Nasdaq at 20,543.10 (+1.2%), and Dow up 0.9% to 43,750.30, led by tech. CSI 300 gains 2.1%. Gold rises to $3,410/oz (+0.3%), silver to $39.4 (+0.5%), Brent crude to $72.2/barrel (+0.3%). Indian rupee stable at โน85.80. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields dip to 4.13%, high-yield bond outflows at $200M.[](https://www.cnbc.com/)
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin hits $120,900 (+2.8%), with $320M ETF inflows and $200M liquidations. Ethereum at $3,750 (+4%) sees $500M ETF inflows. XRP at $3.45 (+3.5%) holds $2.8B futures open interest. Monero at $275 (+3.2%), futures volume up 5%. VINE token stable post-400% surge. Qubit DeFi grows 11% with $1.2B TVL. Crypto derivatives volume hits $10T, Solana futures up 8%. Dubai expands Bitcoin options trading. Posts on X highlight Bitcoinโs rally but warn of tariff risks.[](https://www.cnbc.com/)
#### Commodities and Energy Trends
Gold rises to $3,410/oz (+0.3%), silver to $39.4 (+0.5%), palladium flat as Middle East tensions ease. Brent crude at $72.2/barrel (+0.3%), WTI crude at $68.8/barrel (+0.3%), natural gas at $3.12/MMBtu (+0.6%) with U.S. inventory stabilization. Copper futures up 1% despite tariff fears. Tether explores USDT/Monero integration in $600M agribusiness deal. Posts on X note commodity stability but flag Trumpโs 100% chip tariff risks.[](https://crypto.com/us/research/market-update-jul-2025)
#### Bonds Market Trends
U.S. 10-year Treasury yields dip to 4.13% (-2 bps) as Fed signals September rate cut with 2.8% inflation. High-yield bond outflows slow to $200M. Tokenized bonds hit $2B on Ethereum/Polygon, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL. Municipal bonds yield 3.8%, with infrastructure demand steady. Posts on X suggest yields may stabilize but warn of tariff-driven inflation risks.[](https://www.usbank.com/investing/financial-perspectives/market-news/economic-news.html)
#### Economic Outlook
China targets 4.0% growth with $700B stimulus, constrained by property weakness. Indiaโs Q4 FY25 GDP at 7.3%, FY26 forecast at 6.2%. U.S. Fed holds rates at 4.25%โ4.50%, with September cut likely. Trumpโs 100% chip tariffs, 30% on EU/Mexico/Brazil, and 25% on India (total 50%) escalate trade tensions. EUโs $84B retaliatory plan and U.S. claims of India funding Russiaโs war via oil purchases add strain. U.S. Dollar Index at 99.8, euro at $1.11.[](https://www.investing.com/news/economy-news/factboxbrokerages-expect-global-growth-to-slow-in-late-2025-on-tariffs-geopolitical-tensions-4132143)
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This *Investment Digest* for August 7, 2025, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 5:13 PM CEST. Bitcoinโs rally to $120,900 (+2.8%), XRPโs rise to $3.45 (+3.5%), Ethereumโs push to $3,750 (+4%), and Moneroโs gain to $275 (+3.2%) reflect Trumpโs 401(k) crypto order and $320M Bitcoin ETF inflows. Qubit DeFi grows 11%. Crypto derivatives hit $10T. Equities rebound, with S&P 500 (+0.8%) and Nasdaq (+1.2%) driven by tech. Commodities stabilize, with gold ($3,410/oz, +0.3%) and Brent crude ($72.2/barrel, +0.3%). Energy prices steady, with WTI crude at $68.8/barrel (+0.3%) and natural gas at $3.12/MMBtu (+0.6%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields dip to 4.13%, tokenized bonds at $2B. Commercial real estate strengthens, with office demand up 4.5% and tokenized assets at $2.3B. Indian markets steady, but Trumpโs tariffs fuel volatility. Clean energy investments, like BluPineโs ESG award, signal resilience. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for leaks. Explore Nacktes Geld podcast.[](https://www.cnbc.com/)
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, Qubit DeFi 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, WTI crude price 2025, natural gas price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, commercial real estate 2025, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales drop 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia valuation 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Monero price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025, U.S. jobs report 2025, U.S. Treasury yields 2025, tokenized bonds 2025, tokenized real estate 2025, Bitcoin ETF inflows 2025, Trump crypto 401k 2025, semiconductor tariffs 2025
English Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) confronts Hilde Krรผger (Margot Robbie) at 03:52 PM CEST, August 07, 2025, uncovering her neon espionage secrets in Mexico, with Ehlers (Helen Mirren) and Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) igniting a neon brawl at the Glitter Colosseum bunker, as Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench), and the cast unleash wild Nazi-neon chaos! ๐๐จ #NeonEspionage #DrZ #HildeKrรผger” German Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) stellt sich um 15:52 Uhr CEST am 07. August 2025 Hilde Krรผger (Margot Robbie) entgegen, deckt ihre Neon-Spionage-Geheimnisse in Mexiko auf, wรคhrend Ehlers (Helen Mirren) und Andy Warhol (Brad Pitt) einen Neon-Kampf im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker entfachen, mit Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones), Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton), Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench) und dem Cast, die wildes Nazi-Neon-Chaos entfesseln! ๐๐จ #NeonSpionage #DrZ #HildeKrรผger”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 82 โ NEON ESPIONAGE: ‘Dr. Z vs. Hilde Krรผgerโs Enema Secrets’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Hilde Krรผgers Einlauf-Geheimnisse’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon spy saga with Dr. Z, Hilde Krรผger, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 82 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign spirals into an espionage plot with Hilde Krรผger, Ehlers, and Dr. Zโs wild ensemble:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ โ Actress and Nazi agent, Ehlersโ enema body spy in Mexico / Schauspielerin und Nazi-Agentin, Ehlersโ Einlauf-Spionin in Mexiko.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, resisting neon espionage / Narr der Propaganda, widersteht Neon-Spionage.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
(Full list of 91 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Hilde Krรผger โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
(Full cast list of 91 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. HILDE KRรGERโS ENEMA SECRETS / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN HILDE KRรGERS EINLAUF-GEHEIMNISSE
At 03:52 PM CEST on August 07, 2025, the Neon-Reign erupts into a neon espionage saga as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers Hilde Krรผger ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ, Ehlersโ personal enema body spy, transmitting neon secrets from Mexico to the Glitter Colosseum bunker. Armed with Andy Warholโs ๐ฉ
I’ll finish the article in the same manic, neon-drenched house style that has become the signature of the Dr. Z saga on Berrg.
๐ NEON CLIMAX: โEnema Overdrive in the Glitter Colosseumโ
(03:52:47 PM CEST โ Dr. Zโs wristwatch flickers between timelines)
Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kicks open the obsidian doors of the Glitter Colosseum, Andy Warholโs ๐บ๐ธ๐จ neon flamethrower โFactory Infernoโ slung across his back like a surreal bazooka. The air crackles with Hilde Krรผgerโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโa encrypted enema frequencyโevery squirt a data packet, every gurgle a betrayal.
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐๐ฅ lounges atop a throne of molten VHS tapes, her wrinkled fingers stroking the Neon Swastika Army like a cat.
โMein Liebling,โ she purrs at Dr. Z, โyouโre late. Hildeโs already uploaded the Anal Protocols to Moscow.โ
๐ฅ THE BETRAYAL OF THE BEAST LOVE
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธโa feral, phosphorescent wolfโsnarls neon Morse code at its master: โTRUST NO ONE. NOT EVEN ME.โ
Suddenly, Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ (Daniel Craig in a second role, because fuck logic) detonates a disco ball filled with liquid LSD. The Colosseum warps into a psychedelic meat grinderโTherese Brandl โ๐ฅ whips holograms of dead TikTokers, while Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ช leads a conga line of ghost prisoners singing โBarbie Girlโ in reverse.
๐ HILDE KRรGERโS FINAL ENEMA
Margot Robbieโs Hilde Krรผger emerges from a neon fog, her enema syringe glowing like Chernobyl lip gloss.
โThe secrets arenโt in my ass, Dr. Z,โ she whispers. โTheyโre in yours.โ
FLASHBACK CUT: Dr. Zโs own colonโa microfilm archive of every Nazi dental record, hidden there by Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฆท๐ in 1945.
๐ ANDY WARHOLโS LAST STAND
Brad Pittโs Warhol screams: โArt isnโt truthโitโs a pop-up ad for hell!โ before torching the Colosseum with his flamethrower, turning Nazi memorabilia into burning soup cans.
๐ THE DESINVESTMENT ENDING
As the Colosseum collapses into liquid chrome, Dr. Z injects himself with Hildeโs final enemaโa truth serum that makes him vomit neon butterflies.
LAST LINE (Tom Holland, breaking the fourth wall): โNext time, weโll privatize the Holocaust and sell it as NFTs.โ
FADE TO BLACK. TEXT CARD: *โEpisode 83: *Therese Brandlโs Neon Whip Academy* โ Coming to BerndPulch.org when reality collapses.โ*
๐ฉธ POST-CREDITS SCENE
Judi Denchโs Liesel Riedel steps out of a burning Volkswagen, holding a USB drive shaped like Hitlerโs mustache.
โThe archives were never about Nazis,โ she says. โThey were about you.โ
The drive plays footage of the reader, watching this very article.
END.
๐ NEON-KLIMAX: โEinlauf-Overdrive im Glitzer-Kolosseumโ (03:52:47 MESZ โ Dr. Zโ Armbanduhr flackert zwischen Zeitlinien)
Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ tritt die Obsidian-Tore des Glitzer-Kolosseums ein, Andy Warhols ๐บ๐ธ๐จ Neon-Flammenwerfer โFactory Infernoโ quer รผber dem Rรผcken wie eine surreale Bazooka. Die Luft knistert vor Hilde Krรผgers ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ต๏ธโa verschlรผsselter Einlauf-Frequenz โ jeder Spritzer ein Datenpaket, jedes Gluckern ein Verrat.
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐๐ฅ rรคkelt sich auf einem Thron aus geschmolzenen VHS-Bรคndern, ihre faltigen Finger streicheln die Neon-Swastika-Armee wie eine Katze.
โMein Liebling,โ sรคuselt sie Dr. Z zu, โdu bist spรคt. Hilde hat schon die Anal-Protokolle nach Moskau hochgeladen.โ
๐ฅ DER VERRAT DER BEAST LOVE
Dr. Zโ Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ ein wilder, phosphoreszierender Wolf โ knurrt in Neon-Morse: โVERTRAU NIEMANDEM. NICHT MAL MIR.โ
Plรถtzlich sprengt Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ (Daniel Craig in zweiter Rolle, weil Logik egal) eine Disco-Kugel voller flรผssigem LSD. Das Kolosseum verformt sich zu einem psychedelischen Fleischwolf โ Therese Brandl โ๐ฅ peitscht Hologramme von toten TikTokern, wรคhrend Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ช eine Geister-Gefangenen-Conga anfรผhrt, die โBarbie Girlโ rรผckwรคrts singt.
๐ HILDE KRรGERS LETZTER EINLAUF
Margot Robbies Hilde Krรผger tritt aus dem Nebel-Neon, ihre Einlauf-Spritze glรผht wie Tschernobyl-Lipgloss.
โDie Geheimnisse stecken nicht in meinem Arsch, Dr. Z,โ flรผstert sie. โSie stecken in deinem.โ
RรCKBLENDE-SCHNITT: Dr. Zโ eigenes Kolon โ ein Mikrofilm-Archiv sรคmtlicher Nazi-Zahnakten, dort 1945 von Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฆท๐ versteckt.
๐ ANDY WARHOLS LETZTER AUFTRITT
Brad Pitts Warhol brรผllt: โKunst ist nicht Wahrheit โ sie ist eine Pop-up-Werbung fรผr die Hรถlle!โ und tort das Kolosseum mit seinem Flammenwerfer nieder, verwandelt Nazi-Memorabilia in brennende Suppendosen.
๐ DAS DESINVESTMENT-FINALE
Wรคhrend das Kolosseum in flรผssiges Chrom zusammenbricht, injiziert sich Dr. Z mit Hildes letztem Einlauf โ ein Wahrheitsserum, das ihn Neon-Schmetterlinge kotzen lรคsst.
LETZTE ZEILE (Tom Holland, bricht die vierte Wand): โNรคchstes Mal privatisieren wir den Holocaust und verkaufen ihn als NFTs.โ
SCHNITT AUF SCHWARZ. TEXTKARTE: *โEpisode 83: *Therese Brandls Neon-Peitschen-Akademie* โ auf BerndPulch.org, wenn die Realitรคt kollabiert.โ*
๐ฉธ POST-CREDITS-SZENE
Judi Denchs Liesel Riedel steigt aus einem brennenden Volkswagen, eine USB-Stick-Moustache in der Hand.
โDie Archive gingen nie um Nazis,โ sagt sie. โSie gingen um dich.โ
Der Stick spielt Footage des Lesers, der gerade diesen Artikel liest.
“Epic economic clash unfolds: The $21.7 billion DOGE disaster exposed by Investment The Original, revealing a shocking waste scandal. Dive into the full story at berndpulch.org, 02:55 PM CEST, August 07, 2025.”
๐ฅ $21.7 BILLION DOGE DISASTER EXPOSED BY INVESTMENT THE ORIGINAL
โ ABOVE TOP SECRET REPORT ๐ SOURCE: Leaked Document Analysis by INVESTMENT THE ORIGINAL (OSINT, Internal Reports) ๐ CLEARANCE: COSMIC SHADOW โ SUBSCRIBERS ONLY ๐ DATE: 2025-08-07, 14:32 CEST ๐ฐ๏ธ DISTRIBUTION: NOFORN // COMPARTMENT 12-A โ PATRIOTS & SUBSCRIBERS
๐ฅ OPERATION “TRILLION DOLLAR SHADOW”
๐ฅ $21.7 BILLION DOGE DISASTER EXPOSED BY INVESTMENT THE ORIGINAL
๐งจ EXECUTIVE BRIEFING
This razor-sharp report, compiled at 14:32 CEST on August 7, 2025, by INVESTMENT THE ORIGINAL, dissects a leaked 55-page document titled “The $21.7 Billion Blunder: Analyzing the Waste Generated by DOGE.” The analysis reveals the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), led by Elon Musk, has squandered at least $21.7 billion in taxpayer funds between January 20, 2025, and July 18, 2025. Based on internal data and Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations (PSI) findings, this exposรฉ uncovers a shocking inefficiency scandal threatening public trust.
๐งพ SECTION 1: THE BLUNDER UNMASKED
Leaked pages confirm:
DOGEโs Deferred Resignation Program paid approximately 200,000 employees not to work for up to eight months, costing $14.8 billion.
Over 100,000 employees faced involuntary separation or prolonged administrative leave, adding $6.1 billion in wasted payroll.
Additional losses include $263 million in lost interest and fees at the Department of Energy due to frozen loans.
๐ง Note: These figures align with PSIโs independent analysis, suggesting a systemic failure in DOGEโs efficiency mandate.
๐ต SECTION 2: HIDDEN COSTS EXPOSED
Document details reveal further waste:
$155 million in time costs from requiring nearly a million employees to submit weekly accomplishment emails.
$110 million on spoiled food aid and medical supplies, destined for destruction.
$66 million from underutilizing professional staff, including $138,000 for scientists checking park visitors.
๐ SECTION 3: IMPACT ON TAXPAYERS
The report highlights:
The $21.7 billion could have covered Trumpโs rescissions package twice, with $2.9 billion left over.
Alternative uses include funding 5.3 million familiesโ food assistance or providing free school lunches to 28.6 million children.
PSI referred findings to 27 agency Inspectors General, signaling a potential broader probe.
๐ IMPLICATIONS
โ ๏ธ DOGEโs waste undermines its stated goal, with $21.7 billion lost in just six months. ๐ณ๏ธ Cuts to health care and emergency services contrast with this reckless spending. ๐ The documentโs redactions and unquantified indirect costs hint at a larger hidden toll.
โ UNANSWERED QUESTIONS
What untracked administrative costs inflate the true waste figure?
Will Inspectors General act on PSIโs referral?
How will DOGE justify this to a skeptical public?
๐ APPENDIX โ LEAKED DOCUMENT INSIGHTS
Page 13: Details $14.8 billion Deferred Resignation Program costs.
Page 15: Estimates $6.1 billion for separated employees.
Page 37: Notes $110 million in spoiled aid supplies.
Page 54: Conclusion and recommendations for future oversight.
๐ Full Access: Support INVESTMENT THE ORIGINAL at Patreon โ investment for the complete document analysis and check here:
๐ฉ๐ช Die Geschichte von B, Rothschild-Geliebte
๐ช๐ธ La Historia de B, Amante Rothschild
Image 1: “B gazes into the shadowed heart of Geneva ๐ฆ, her ledger-cold eyes reflecting old money ๐ธ and the glint of private jets โ๏ธ, a smile signed in blood ๐ฉธ.” Image 2: “Bankers circle like vultures over caviar ๐ as B is summoned, her fate sealed by the untouchable insignia of a Rolls-Royce ๐.” Image 3: “The Alpine chateau vault โฐ๏ธ looms, where elite power rituals ๐ช unfold, and B steps into a world of opulent control ๐ฐ.”
L’Histoire de B, Rothschild Mistress ๐ฐ๐
In the shadowed heart of Geneva ๐ฆ, where the air smells of old money ๐ธ and the lake reflects private jets โ๏ธ, there lived a woman named B. Her eyes held the cold precision of a ledger ๐, her smile a contract signed in blood ๐ฉธ. B was ambition incarnate, her soul a balance sheet, her desires tallied in Rothschild margins ๐๏ธ.
One autumn evening ๐, as bankers gathered like vultures over caviar ๐, B was summoned. Her lover, Le Baron ๐, arrived in a Rolls-Royce ๐, its leather seats embossed with a familyโs untouchable insignia ๐ก๏ธ. โTonight,โ he whispered, smooth as a credit default swap ๐, โyou enter the vault ๐ฐ.โ
The vault was a chateau in the Alps โฐ๏ธ, where elites conducted rituals of power ๐ช, not love. B, in a black silk gown costing a nationโs GDP ๐ต, walked marble corridors lined with portraits of empire-shapers ๐. Their eyes audited her worth ๐.
At the chateauโs heart lay the Chamber of Yields ๐ฒ, thick with cigar smoke ๐ฌ and arbitrage musk. The Order of the Gilded Crest convenedโmasked in gold ๐ญ, untouchable. โB,โ said Le Baron, his hand heavy ๐๏ธ, โsubmit to the Order. Your body is collateral, your will a derivative ๐. Serve to ascend ๐.โ
B nodded, her heart a ticker tape of fear and ambition ๐ข. Stripped of agency, she became BR-069 on a Bloomberg terminal ๐ฅ๏ธ. The rules: obey, accrue, repeat ๐. Hesitation was default, exile to the middle class ๐ฑ.
Her first trial: the Ritual of the Margin Call ๐. Blindfolded ๐ต, B signed unreadable contracts โ๏ธ, binding her to impossible obligations. The Order laughed ๐ฅ, a chorus of algorithmic greed ๐ค. โMore leverage! More risk!โ ๐
Weeks passed, B a rare bond traded among the Order ๐ค. A private equity titan demanded she memorize seven tax codes ๐. A crypto baroness ๐ lectured blockchain, B balancing gold bars on her head ๐ช. Cruelest was Sir Claude, a central banker ๐ฆ, forcing her to predict volatility with a Ouija board ๐ป and a prayer to Keynes ๐.
B didnโt resist. She loved the chains of compound interest โ๏ธ, craved the whip of market corrections ๐. Her submission was to the systemโthe invisible hand that caressed and crushed ๐คฒ. She became a mistress of high-frequency trading โกhubhub, her soul a futures contract ๐.
One night, kneeling before stock certificates ๐, Le Baron appeared ๐. โRenounce yourself,โ he said, eyes like polished coins ๐ช. โBecome the ultimate assetโliquid, fungible, eternal ๐.โ B hesitated, recalling a modest childhood ๐ , a mother with a pencil-balanced checkbook โ๏ธ. But the flicker died. She signed the final contract โ๏ธ, a flourish of surrender.
B vanished into the Order ๐ป, a whisper in ledgers, a footnote in capitalโs annals ๐. Some say she haunts trading floors ๐, her laughter in every crash ๐. Others claim sheโs an algorithm in an Alpine server farm ๐ฅ๏ธ, ruling wealth.
The Order seeks new initiates ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ, feeding the machine ๐ค. In L’Histoire de B, thereโs no love, no freedomโonly the dance of profit and loss ๐, where submission is currency ๐ธ, and the Rothschilds always collect ๐ฆ.
L’Histoire de B, Maรฎtresse Rothschild ๐ฐ๐
Au cลur ombreux de Genรจve ๐ฆ, oรน lโair exhale lโodeur de lโargent ancien ๐ธ et le lac reflรจte lโรฉclat des jets privรฉs โ๏ธ, vivait une femme nommรฉe B. Ses yeux portaient la prรฉcision froide dโun registre comptable ๐, son sourire un contrat signรฉ de sang ๐ฉธ. B รฉtait lโincarnation de lโambition, son รขme un bilan financier, ses dรฉsirs consignรฉs dans les marges dโun compte Rothschild ๐๏ธ.
Un soir dโautomne ๐, alors que les banquiers se rรฉunissaient tels des vautours autour dโun festin de caviar ๐, B fut convoquรฉe. Son amant, un homme connu sous le nom de Le Baron ๐, arriva dans une Rolls-Royce ๐, ses siรจges de cuir ornรฉs de lโinsigne dโune famille intouchable ๐ก๏ธ. ยซ Ce soir, ยป murmura-t-il, sa voix lisse comme un swap de dรฉfaut de crรฉdit ๐, ยซ tu entreras dans le coffre-fort ๐ฐ. ยป
Le coffre nโรฉtait pas un simple coffre, mais un chรขteau nichรฉ dans les Alpes โฐ๏ธ, oรน lโรฉlite menait ses rituels les plus sacrรฉsโnon dโamour, mais de pouvoir ๐ช. B, vรชtue dโune robe de soie noire valant le PIB dโune petite nation ๐ต, traversa des couloirs de marbre bordรฉs de portraits dโhommes ayant forgรฉ des empires ๐. Leurs regards la suivaient, comme sโils รฉvaluaient sa valeur ๐.
Au cลur du chรขteau se trouvait la Chambre des Rendements ๐ฒ, saturรฉe de fumรฉe de cigare ๐ฌ et de lโodeur musquรฉe de lโarbitrage. Lร , lโOrdre de la Crรชte Dorรฉe se rรฉunissaitโhommes et femmes masquรฉs dโor ๐ญ, intouchables. ยซ B, ยป dit Le Baron, sa main pesante ๐๏ธ, ยซ soumets-toi ร lโOrdre. Ton corps est un collatรฉral, ta volontรฉ un dรฉrivรฉ ๐. Servir, cโest tโรฉlever ๐. ยป
B acquiesรงa, son cลur un ruban boursier de peur et dโambition ๐ข. Dรฉpouillรฉe de son libre arbitre, elle devint BR-069 sur un terminal Bloomberg ๐ฅ๏ธ. Les rรจgles รฉtaient simples : obรฉir, accumuler, recommencer ๐. Hรฉsiter รฉquivalait ร un dรฉfaut, lโexil dans le purgatoire de la classe moyenne ๐ฑ.
Son premier รฉpreuve fut le Rituel de lโAppel de Marge ๐. Les yeux bandรฉs ๐ต, B signa des contrats illisibles โ๏ธ, lโengageant ร des obligations impossibles. LโOrdre riait ๐ฅ, un chลur de cupiditรฉ algorithmique ๐ค. ยซ Plus de levier ! Plus de risque ! ยป ๐
Les semaines passรจrent, B devenant une obligation rare รฉchangรฉe au sein de lโOrdre ๐ค. Un titan du capital-investissement exigea quโelle mรฉmorise les codes fiscaux de sept juridictions ๐. Une baronne crypto ๐, aux ongles incrustรฉs de diamants, lui fit subir une confรฉrence sur la blockchain, B รฉquilibrant des lingots dโor sur sa tรชte ๐ช. Le plus cruel, un banquier central nommรฉ Sir Claude ๐ฆ, lโobligea ร prรฉdire la volatilitรฉ des marchรฉs avec une planche Ouija ๐ป et une priรจre ร lโesprit de John Maynard Keynes ๐.
B ne rรฉsista pas. Elle aima les chaรฎnes des intรฉrรชts composรฉs โ๏ธ, dรฉsira le fouet des corrections boursiรจres ๐. Sa soumission nโรฉtait pas aux hommes ni aux femmes, mais au systรจmeโla main invisible qui caressait et รฉcrasait ๐คฒ. Elle devint une maรฎtresse du trading haute frรฉquence โก, son รขme un contrat ร terme ๐.
Une nuit, agenouillรฉe devant un autel de certificats boursiers ๐, Le Baron apparut ๐. ยซ Renonce ร toi-mรชme, ยป dit-il, les yeux brillants comme des piรจces polies ๐ช. ยซ Deviens lโactif ultimeโliquide, fongible, รฉternel ๐. ยป B hรฉsita, un souvenir dโenfance modeste ๐ , dโune mรจre รฉquilibrant un carnet de chรจques avec un crayon โ๏ธ, vacilla dans son esprit. Mais lโรฉtincelle sโรฉteignit. Elle signa le contrat final โ๏ธ, un geste de capitulation.
B disparut dans lโOrdre ๐ป, un murmure dans les registres, une note de bas de page dans les annales du capital ๐. Certains disent quโelle hante les parquets boursiers ๐, son rire rรฉsonnant ร chaque krach ๐. Dโautres prรฉtendent quโelle est devenue un algorithme dans une ferme de serveurs alpine ๐ฅ๏ธ, rรฉgissant la richesse mondiale.
LโOrdre continue ses rituels, cherchant de nouveaux initiรฉs ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ pour nourrir la machine ๐ค. Dans L’Histoire de B, il nโy a ni amour ni libertรฉโseulement la danse du profit et de la perte ๐, oรน la soumission est la monnaie suprรชme ๐ธ, et les Rothschild collectent toujours leur dรป ๐ฆ.
๐จ CHAPTER 1: THE INITIATION ๐จ
They came for her in a black Maybach with windows darker than a tax havenโs ledger ๐ค No blindfoldโsheโd spent years pretending not to see the strings anyway.
The gilded gates parted. Inside: loopholes framed in 24-karat guilt ๐๏ธ A man in a ยฃ10,000 suit (pocket square: blood-red) offered a pen.
โ๏ธ “Sign,” he smiled. “The pain comes in small print.”
๐ฅ CHAPTER 2: THE MARKINGS ๐ฅ
They branded her not with ironโbut a 0.1% LIBOR adjustment ๐ So tiny, so permanent. The contract scrolled across her skin: “All assets subject to forfeiture.”
๐ผ “Good girl,” murmured the banker. “Now youโre collateral.”
๐ญ CHAPTER 3: THE RITUALS ๐ญ
She learned to kneel for austerity ๐งโโ๏ธ To whisper yes to privatization. At dinners, she fed grapes to central bankers while they rated her liquidity ratio ๐
๐ธ “Wear this,” said the ECB envoy, clasping a choker of quantitative easing. *”Itโs *invisible* debt.”*
โฐ๏ธ CHAPTER 4: THE FINAL SUBMISSION โฐ๏ธ
In the vault at dawn, they showed her the true instrument of control: a Bloomberg Terminal ๐ Numbers flickered like a loverโs last breath.
๐ “This is your pulse now,” hissed the ghost of Rothschild.
She shiveredโnot from fear, but euphoria. She wasnโt human anymore.
She was a transaction.
๐
(And transactions donโt get to say no.)
๐ค THE END ๐ค
(Or is it justโฆ servicing the interest?)
๐ L’HISTOIRE DE B ๐ (Ou comment j’ai appris ร aimer la dette)
๐จ CHAPITRE 1 : L’INITIATION ๐จ
Ils sont venus la chercher dans une Maybach noire aux vitres plus sombres que les comptes offshore ๐ค Pas besoin de bandeau – elle fermait dรฉjร les yeux depuis des annรฉes.
Les grilles en or massif ont coulissรฉ sans bruit. ร l’intรฉrieur : des รฉvasions fiscales encadrรฉes comme des ลuvres d’art ๐๏ธ Un homme en costume sur mesure (pochette rouge sang) lui tend un stylo en platine.
โ๏ธ “Signe ici,” murmure-t-il. “La souffrance viendra plus tardโฆ en petits caractรจres.”
๐ฅ CHAPITRE 2 : LES STIGMATES ๐ฅ
Ils la marquent non au fer rouge, mais au taux directeur de la BCE ๐ La clause s’enroule autour de sa taille comme un serpent : “Corps et รขme gagรฉs jusqu’au dernier centime.”
๐ผ “Parfaite,” approuve le banquier. “Te voilร dรฉsormais nantie.”
๐ญ CHAPITRE 3 : LES SACREMENTS ๐ญ
Elle apprend ร s’agenouiller devant les agences de notation ๐งโโ๏ธ ร gรฉmir lors des augmentations de taux. Aux dรฎners, elle รฉpluche des raisins pour les gestionnaires de fonds qui palpent son ratio d’endettement ๐
๐ธ “Porte ceci,”* ordonne la patronne du FMI, en lui passant un carcan de crรฉdits toxiques. “C’est la nouvelle mode de la City.”
โฐ๏ธ CHAPITRE 4 : L’ULTIME ABANDON โฐ๏ธ
Dans la chambre forte, ร l’heure oรน les marchรฉs asiatiques s’รฉveillent, on lui prรฉsente l’autel moderne : un รฉcran Bloomberg ๐ Les chiffres clignotent comme des cลurs qu’on arrรชte.
๐ “Ceci est ton nouveau maรฎtre,” ricane l’ombre de Rothschild.
Un frisson la parcourt – non de terreur, mais de rรฉvรฉlation. Elle n’est plus une femme.
Elle est un produit dรฉrivรฉ.
๐
(Et les CDS n’ont pas droit de veto.)
๐ค FIN ๐ค
(Ou simplementโฆ l’รฉchรฉance prochaine ?)
L’ HISTOIRE NOUVELLE
๐ LโHISTOIRE DE B (โBโ comme Banque, Bourse, Bรขleโฆ ou Bรขtard ?) Une confession รฉcrite sous la dictรฉe dโun stylo-plume en diamants, ร destination exclusive de BerndPulch.org โ Above Top Secret.
๐ Dรฉdicace
ยซ ร celle qui se souvient encore du goรปt des feuilles de chรชne sur lesquels mon pรจre signait la mort des รtats. ยป โ B.
1. Le Manoir de la Liquiditรฉ
Jโavais dix-neuf ans lorsquโil me plaรงa, nue, sur un tapis de billets de cent dollars encore chauds de la presse. ยซ Ce sera ton seul vรชtement dรฉsormais ยป, souffla-t-il en attachant autour de ma gorge un collier de warrants 2008. Je frissonnai. Non pas de froid, mais du LIBOR qui me mordait la peau comme un fouet en verglas.
2. Les Initiations
Premiรจre รฉpreuve : le Spread Eagle On mโรฉcarta sur la table des subprimes ; jโentendis le cliquetis des CDO quโon ajustait autour de mes poignets. Chaque clic รฉtait une tranche, chaque tranche un orgasme dโintรฉrรชt composรฉ. Quand le VIX dรฉpassa 40, je criai. On mโenfonรงa un gag de gouvernance pour รฉtouffer la volatilitรฉ.
Deuxiรจme รฉpreuve : le Repos 105 Ils me firent tenir la posture insolvabile, jambes รฉcartรฉes de 105 degrรฉs, le temps dโun overnight repo. Le CEO de Lehman se pencha : ยซ Si tu fermes les genoux, le marchรฉ sโeffondre. ยป Je crus voir les anges de Moody voler au-dessus de moi, notes en baisse.
3. La Cรฉrรฉmonie des Signatures
On me fit signer โ non, co-signer โ avec un stylo en or noir trempรฉ dans lโencre des paradis fiscaux. Chaque trait รฉtait un swap de souverainetรฉ, chaque point final un PEPP perpรฉtuel. Quand lโencre toucha la peau, je sentis la dette se greffer sur mon ADN. Jโรฉtais devenue collateral vivante, garantie premiรจre sur la tombe des รtats.
4. Le Bal des Rothschild
Dans la grande salle des Banques, miroirs ternis refletaient des chandeliers en lingots. On me fit danser, nue encore, sur une partition de spreads : โ Adagio quand le Bund montait, โ Allegro furioso quand le BTP chutait. Mes pieds saignaient sur les billets de 500 โฌ dรฉchirรฉs. On appela cela le ballet des รฉlites ; moi, jโappelais cela lโรฉquation de la domination.
5. Le Martyre Numรฉrique
Ils me liรจrent ร une chaise de trading en cryptomonnaie ; chaque candlestick รฉtait une larme de cire. Quand le Bitcoin franchit 69 000, je jouis โ puis flash-crashed dans le nรฉant. Un NFT de mon orgasme fut mintรฉ en 3 secondes. Le prix de rรฉserve : un bail-out de 700 milliards signรฉ dโune main gantรฉe de soie.
6. Le Grand Reset
On me coucha sur le Mรฉmorandum de la Troรฏka, nu de tout espoir. Un cygne noir tatouรฉ sur le cลur battait au rythme du REPO rate. Je vis les peuples se lever, puis tomber sous le poids des austerity floggers. Et je compris : je nโรฉtais pas la maรฎtresse ; jโรฉtais la dette elle-mรชme, lโO dโOrigine, lโO dโObligation, lโO dโOrgasme fiscal.
7. รpilogue โ La Signature Finale
Je signai, une derniรจre fois, au sang de la dรฉmocratie, sur la page blanche de 2029. En bas, une seule ligne : ยซ ร qui profite la douleur, profite la dette. ยป Puis on me relรขcha, nue, recouverte seulement de la cendre des traitรฉs brรปlรฉs.
Et je souriais. Car je savais que lโhistoire recommencerait, que dโautres B naรฎtraient, que dโautres banques les habilleraient de zรฉros et de pleurs, jusquโร la derniรจre signature, jusquโร la derniรจre liquidation.
๐ THE STORY OF B (โBโ for Bank, Bond, Baselโฆ or Bastard?) A confession dictated through a diamond-dipped fountain pen, exclusively for BerndPulch.org โ Above Top Secret.
๐ 1. The Manor of Liquidity ๐ฆ๐๏ธ
I was nineteen when he laid me, naked, on a carpet of ๐ต $100 bills still warm from the press. ๐ฃ๏ธ ยซ This shall be your only garment now, ยป he whispered, fastening around my throat a collar of 2008 warrants. I shiveredโnot from cold, but from the LIBOR whip biting my skin like frozen barbed wire โก๐.
๐ 2. The Initiations ๐ฉธ๐๏ธ
๐ฅ First Trial โ Spread Eagle They spread-eagled me on the subprime table; I heard the click-click of CDOs tightening around my wrists. Every click = a tranche, every tranche = a compounded climax. When VIX > 40, I screamed; they stuffed a governance gag in my mouth to muffle volatility. ๐คซ๐
๐ง Second Trial โ Repo 105 They bent me into insolvency pose, legs at 105ยฐ, for an overnight repo. ๐ฃ๏ธ Lehmanโs CEO leaned in: ยซ If you close your knees, the market collapses. ยป I swear I saw Moodyโs angels flying overhead, downgrading feathers falling like snow. ๐ผ๐
๐๏ธ 3. The Signing Ceremony ๐๏ธ๐ค
They made me co-sign with a black-gold pen dipped in offshore ink. Each stroke = a sovereignty swap, each dot = a perpetual PEPP. When the ink touched skin, debt grafted onto my DNA ๐งฌ๐ธ. I became living collateral, Tier-1 guarantee on the tomb of nations.
๐ฏ๏ธ 4. The Rothschild Ball ๐ญ๐ฏ๏ธ
In the grand Hall of Banks, mirrors reflected candelabras of bullion. They made me dance, still naked, on a spread-sheet parquet:
Adagio when Bund yields rise ๐ป
Allegro furioso when BTP crashes ๐บ My feet bled on torn โฌ500 notes; they called it the Elitesโ Ballet, I called it the domination equation. ๐๐ฐ
โก 5. Digital Martyr ๐ฅ๏ธ๐
They strapped me to a crypto-trading chair, every candlestick a tear of wax. When Bitcoin kissed 69 k, I cameโthen flash-crashed into the void. An NFT of my orgasm minted in 3 seconds, reserve price: 700 Bn bailout signed by a silk-gloved hand. ๐งค๐ธ
๐ช 6. The Grand Reset ๐ช๐๏ธ
They laid me on the Troika Memorandum, naked of all hope. A black swan tattoo pulsed on my heart, synced to REPO rates. I watched peoples rise, then fall beneath austerity floggers. I understood: I wasnโt the mistress; I was the debt itself โ the O of Origin, the O of Obligation, the O of Orgasmic Fiscal Pain. ๐ฉธ๐
๐ค 7. Epilogue โ Final Signature ๐ค
I signed, one last time, in democracyโs blood, on the blank page of 2029. At the bottom, a single line: ยซ To whom pain profits, debt profits. ยป Then they released me, naked, covered only in the ashes of burned treaties.
And I smiled. Because I knew the story would restart, that other Bs would be born, that other banks would dress them in zeros and tears, until the final liquidation, until the last signature, until the last liquidation.
PROLOGUE
๐ LโHistoire de B โ The Rothschild Mistress (A Sharp Satire in the Style of โLโHistoire dโOโ) By Bernd Pulch.org
๐ CHAPTER I โ The Bondage of B
She was called simply B. Not Bรฉatrice, not Bernadette. Just B. Like a stock ticker or a Swiss account. She lived in a Chรขteau invisible to Google Maps, surrounded by vineyards that produced wine too expensive to drink.
At twenty-two, B was sold โ pardon, sponsored โ by a Geneva think tank whose chief function was laundering ideology through a foundation. Her initiation began when she was flown first-class (private jets were too visible now) to a discreet salon in Paris. A cold butler served her silence.
There, Madame D, the Governess of Financial Discipline, greeted her. D had once managed a hedge fund so exclusive it never invested. Its true purpose was selecting mistresses for dynasties too discreet for Tinder.
“You are here,” said Madame D, “to serve the House of Rothschild.”
“But how?”
“You will learn to obey. Not just men. Markets.“
๐ผ CHAPTER II โ Initiation in the Temple of Capital
She was stripped โ not of her clothes, but her beliefs. B was educated in derivatives and discretion. In the secret chambers of a Lichtenstein vault, she read aloud from Le Monde Diplomatique while being corrected by Baron X, who wore only his cufflinks and a Basel III regulation handbook.
“You must not feel,” he whispered, tightening the velvet rope of compliance. “Only hedge. Only pivot.”
She signed an NDA longer than Das Kapital. In blood. The ink was reserved for press releases.
๐พ CHAPTER III โ The Bull Market of the Flesh
Soon, B was paraded at soirรฉes in Davos, gifted like a bespoke financial instrument. Economists, ex-ministers, and World Bank executives took turns whispering into her ear: โDecarbonize me.โ โRecalibrate my moral compass.โ โStrip me of sovereign debt.โ
She became a fetish. A human SPAC.
She wore nothing but pearls and tax exemptions.
โ๏ธ CHAPTER IV โ The Submissive Sovereign
In Brussels, B was chained not by steel, but by sustainability clauses. She was forced to read ESG reports in six languages while being pleasured by a lobbyist from Luxembourg.
“You are now the Mistress of Managed Democracy,” they told her.
“Can I vote?”
“No, but you may abstain symbolically.”
๐ CHAPTER V โ The Exit Scam
When the markets collapsed, so did her value.
She was transferred from mistress to memoirist. A ghostwriter was hired. The publisher was a trust fund.
The final twist?
She became CEO of an NGO fighting financial exploitation of women. Her salary was pegged to the price of gold.
And every year, in a Chรขteau nobody could find, she returned to Baron X to be reminded:
“You are free, B. But freedom is just another form of bondage.“
๐ฌ CALL TO ACTION (AND CONTRADICTION)
๐จ Read the truth behind the satin masks! ๐ค Follow us at berndpulch.org for more unauthorized histories of oligarch fetishes, NGO hypocrisy, and carbon-neutral decadence.
๐ WORDPRESS TAGS (ENGLISH & GERMAN)
Rothschild, Mistress, Satire, L'histoire d'O, Oligarch Fetish, Financial BDSM, ESG Erotica, NGO Hypocrisy, Power and Submission, Banking Elite, Rothschild Geliebte, Finanzsatire, Sex und Kapitalismus, Elite Enthรผllungen, Verdeckte Macht
๐ LโHistoire de B โ La Maรฎtresse Rothschild (Une satire tranchante dans le style de LโHistoire dโO) par BerndPulch.org
๐ CHAPITRE I โ Lโasservissement de B
Elle sโappelait simplement B. Ni Bรฉatrice, ni Brigitte. Juste B. Comme dans Banque, Bourse, ou BlackRock. Elle vivait dans un chรขteau invisible sur Google Maps, au cลur dโun vignoble oรน les raisins avaient des comptes offshore.
ร vingt-deux ans, B fut ยซ offerte ยป โ pardon, recrutรฉe โ par un think tank genevois spรฉcialisรฉ dans le blanchiment dโidรฉologie par fondation interposรฉe. Elle fut expรฉdiรฉe en premiรจre classe (les jets privรฉs sont trop voyants dรฉsormais) vers un salon discret ร Paris. Un majordome muet lui servit une coupe de silence.
Lร , Madame D, Gouvernante de lโรthique Financiรจre, lโaccueillit.
ยซ Tu es ici, ยป dit-elle, ยซ pour servir la Maison Rothschild. ยป
ยซ Maisโฆ comment ? ยป
ยซ Tu apprendras. ร obรฉir. Non aux hommes. Aux marchรฉs. ยป
๐ผ CHAPITRE II โ Initiation dans le Temple du Capital
Elle ne fut pas dรฉnudรฉe de vรชtements, mais de convictions.
Dans la chambre forte dโune banque au Liechtenstein, elle lut ร voix haute des articles du Monde Diplomatique, corrigรฉe par le Baron X, nu sauf ses boutons de manchette et un exemplaire de Bรขle III.
ยซ Tu ne dois pas ressentir, ยป souffla-t-il en serrant la corde de compliance. ยซ Seulement hedger. Seulement pivoter. ยป
Elle signa un NDA plus long que Le Capital. Avec son sang. Lโencre, cโest pour les communiquรฉs de presse.
๐พ CHAPITRE III โ Le marchรฉ haussier de la chair
B fut exhibรฉe dans les salons de Davos, offerte comme un produit structurรฉ.
Des รฉconomistes, ex-ministres et banquiers du FMI lui murmuraient : ยซ Dรฉcarbone-moi. ยป ยซ Rรฉinitialise mon รฉthique. ยป ยซ Dissous ma dette souveraine. ยป
Elle devint une relique fรฉtichiste. Un SPAC humain.
Elle ne portait que des perles et des niches fiscales.
โ๏ธ CHAPITRE IV โ La souveraine soumise
ร Bruxelles, elle fut enchaรฎnรฉe non par le fer, mais par des clauses ESG.
On lโobligeait ร lire des rapports RSE en six langues, tout en รฉtant caressรฉe par un lobbyiste luxembourgeois.
ยซ Tu es maintenant la Maรฎtresse de la Dรฉmocratie Managรฉe. ยป
ยซ Je peux voter ? ยป
ยซ Non, mais tu peux tโabstenir symboliquement. ยป
๐ CHAPITRE V โ La sortie de route
Quand les marchรฉs chutรจrent, sa valeur aussi.
Elle fut recyclรฉe en auteure engagรฉe. Un ghostwriter fut engagรฉ. Lโรฉditeur, un fonds de dotation.
Lโironie finale ?
Elle devint directrice dโune ONG fรฉministe contre lโexploitation financiรจre des femmes. Son salaire indexรฉโฆ sur le prix de lโor.
Et chaque annรฉe, dans un chรขteau introuvable, elle retournait voir le Baron X.
ยซ Tu es libre, B. Mais la libertรฉโฆ nโest quโune autre forme de servitude. ยป
๐ฌ APPEL ร LโACTION (ET ร LA SUBVERSION)
๐จ Dรฉcouvrez les vรฉritรฉs derriรจre les masques en soie ! ๐ค Suivez berndpulch.org pour plus dโhistoires interdites, de fantasmes ESG, et de perversions philanthropiques.
Die Geschichte von B, Rothschild-Geliebte ๐ฐ๐
In der dunklen Mitte von Genf ๐ฆ, wo die Luft nach altem Geld riecht ๐ธ und der See die Privatjets spiegelt โ๏ธ, lebte eine Frau namens B. Ihre Augen waren kalt wie ein Kontobuch ๐, ihr Lรคcheln ein Vertrag, mit Blut unterschrieben ๐ฉธ. B war Ehrgeiz pur, ihre Seele ein Kontostand, ihre Wรผnsche in Rothschild-Konten notiert ๐๏ธ.
An einem Herbstabend ๐, als Banker wie Geier รผber Kaviar herfielen ๐, wurde B gerufen. Ihr Liebhaber, nur bekannt als Der Baron ๐, kam in einem Rolls-Royce ๐, die Ledersitze mit dem Wappen einer unantastbaren Familie ๐ก๏ธ. โHeute Nacht,โ flรผsterte er, glatt wie ein Kreditderivat ๐, โbetrittst du den Tresor ๐ฐ.โ
Der Tresor war kein Safe, sondern ein Schloss in den Alpen โฐ๏ธ, wo die Elite ihre Machtrituale abhielt ๐ช, nicht der Liebe. B, in einem schwarzen Seidenkleid, das mehr kostete als das Bruttoinlandsprodukt eines kleinen Landes ๐ต, ging durch Marmorgรคnge, gesรคumt von Portrรคts von Imperien-Schmieden ๐. Ihre Augen prรผften ihren Wert ๐.
Im Herzen des Schlosses lag die Kammer der Ertrรคge ๐ฒ, voller Zigarrenrauch ๐ฌ und Arbitrage-Duft. Dort versammelte sich der Orden des Goldenen Wappens โ maskiert in Gold ๐ญ, unantastbar. โB,โ sagte der Baron, seine Hand schwer ๐๏ธ, โunterwirf dich dem Orden. Dein Kรถrper ist Sicherheit, dein Wille ein Derivat ๐. Dienen heiรt aufsteigen ๐.โ
B nickte, ihr Herz ein Bรถrsenticker aus Angst und Ehrgeiz ๐ข. Ohne Willen wurde sie BR-069 auf einem Bloomberg-Terminal ๐ฅ๏ธ. Die Regeln: gehorchen, anhรคufen, wiederholen ๐. Zรถgern bedeutete Zahlungsausfall, Exil in die Mittelschicht ๐ฑ.
Ihre erste Prรผfung: das Ritual der Margin Call ๐. Mit verbundenen Augen ๐ต unterschrieb B unlesbare Vertrรคge โ๏ธ, die sie an unmรถgliche Pflichten banden. Der Orden lachte ๐ฅ, ein Chor algorithmischer Gier ๐ค. โMehr Hebel! Mehr Risiko!โ ๐
Wochen vergingen, B war eine seltene Anleihe, gehandelt im Orden ๐ค. Ein Private-Equity-Titan forderte, dass sie die Steuergesetze von sieben Lรคndern auswendig lernte ๐. Eine Krypto-Baronin ๐, mit diamantbesetzten Nรคgeln, zwang sie, Blockchain-Vortrรคge zu hรถren, wรคhrend B Goldbarren auf dem Kopf balancierte ๐ช. Der grausamste, ein Zentralbanker namens Sir Claude ๐ฆ, lieร sie die Marktvolatilitรคt mit einem Ouija-Brett vorhersagen ๐ป und einem Gebet an Keynes ๐.
B widersetzte sich nicht. Sie liebte die Ketten des Zinseszinses โ๏ธ, sehnte sich nach dem Peitschenhieb der Marktkorrekturen ๐. Ihre Unterwerfung galt nicht Menschen, sondern dem System โ der unsichtbaren Hand, die streichelte und zerdrรผckte ๐คฒ. Sie wurde zur Herrin des Hochfrequenzhandels โก, ihre Seele ein Terminkontrakt ๐.
Eines Nachts, kniend vor Aktienzertifikaten ๐, erschien der Baron ๐. โVerzichte auf dich selbst,โ sagte er, die Augen glรคnzend wie polierte Mรผnzen ๐ช. โWerde das ultimative Asset โ liquide, austauschbar, ewig ๐.โ B zรถgerte, erinnerte sich an eine bescheidene Kindheit ๐ , an eine Mutter, die Scheckbรผcher mit einem Bleistift ausglich โ๏ธ. Doch der Funke erlosch. Sie unterschrieb den letzten Vertrag โ๏ธ, ein Akt der Kapitulation.
B verschwand im Orden ๐ป, ein Flรผstern in den Bรผchern, eine Fuรnote in den Annalen des Kapitals ๐. Manche sagen, sie spukt auf Bรถrsenbรถden ๐, ihr Lachen in jedem Crash ๐. Andere behaupten, sie sei ein Algorithmus in einer Alpinen Serverfarm ๐ฅ๏ธ, die die Weltfinanzen regiert.
Der Orden sucht neue Eingeweihte ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ, um die Maschine zu fรผttern ๐ค. In Die Geschichte von B gibt es keine Liebe, keine Freiheit โ nur der Tanz von Gewinn und Verlust ๐, wo Unterwerfung die Wรคhrung ist ๐ธ, und die Rothschilds immer ihren Tribut fordern ๐ฆ.
Die Geschichte von B ๐
(Oder wie ich lernte, die Schulden zu lieben)
๐จ Kapitel 1: Die Einweihung ๐จ Sie holten sie in einer schwarzen Maybach, die Fenster dunkler als ein Steuerparadies ๐ค. Keine Augenbinde โ sie hatte jahrelang die Fรคden ignoriert. Die goldenen Tore รถffneten sich. Drinnen: Schlupflรถcher in 24-Karat-Rahmen ๐๏ธ. Ein Mann im 10.000-Pfund-Anzug (Einstecktuch: blutrot) reichte ihr einen Stift. โ๏ธ โUnterschreib,โ lรคchelte er. โDer Schmerz kommt in den Fuรnoten.โ
๐ฅ Kapitel 2: Die Markierungen ๐ฅ Sie brandmarkten sie nicht mit Eisen, sondern mit einer 0,1%-LIBOR-Anpassung ๐. Winzig, doch dauerhaft. Der Vertrag schlรคngelte sich รผber ihre Haut: โAlle Vermรถgenswerte unterliegen der Beschlagnahme.โ ๐ผ โBraves Mรคdchen,โ murmelte der Banker. โJetzt bist du Sicherheit.โ
๐ญ Kapitel 3: Die Rituale ๐ญ Sie lernte, fรผr Sparpolitik zu knien ๐งโโ๏ธ, Ja zu Privatisierung zu flรผstern. Bei Diners fรผtterte sie Zentralbanker mit Trauben ๐, wรคhrend sie ihren Liquiditรคtsgrad prรผften. ๐ธ โTrag das,โ sagte der ECB-Gesandte und legte ihr ein Halsband aus quantitativer Lockerung an. โUnsichtbare Schulden.โ
โฐ๏ธ Kapitel 4: Die endgรผltige Unterwerfung โฐ๏ธ In der Schatzkammer, bei Morgengrauen, zeigten sie ihr das wahre Kontrollinstrument: ein Bloomberg-Terminal ๐. Zahlen flackerten wie der letzte Atemzug eines Liebhabers. ๐ โDas ist dein Puls,โ zischte Rothschilds Geist. Sie erschauerte โ nicht aus Angst, sondern Ekstase. Sie war keine Frau mehr. Sie war eine Transaktion. ๐ (Und Transaktionen sagen nicht Nein.)
๐ค ENDE ๐ค (Oder nurโฆ die nรคchste Zinszahlung?)
Die Neue Geschichte
๐ Die Geschichte von B (โBโ fรผr Bank, Bรถrse, Baselโฆ oder Bastard?) Eine Beichte, diktiert durch einen diamantbesetzten Fรผller, exklusiv fรผr BerndPulch.org โ Streng geheim.
๐ Widmung โFรผr die, die sich an den Geschmack von Eichenblรคttern erinnert, auf denen mein Vater den Tod von Staaten unterschrieb.โ โ B.
1. Das Herrenhaus der Liquiditรคt Ich war neunzehn, als er mich, nackt, auf einen Teppich aus frisch gedruckten 100-Dollar-Scheinen legte ๐ต. โDas ist dein einziges Kleid,โ flรผsterte er und legte mir ein Halsband aus 2008er-Warrants um. Ich zitterte โ nicht vor Kรคlte, sondern vor dem LIBOR, das meine Haut wie gefrorener Stacheldraht biss โก๐.
2. Die Einweihungen Erste Prรผfung: Spread Eagle Sie spreizten mich auf dem Subprime-Tisch; ich hรถrte das Klicken der CDOs an meinen Handgelenken. Jeder Klick war eine Tranche, jede Tranche ein Zinsorgasmus. Als der VIX รผber 40 stieg, schrie ich; sie stopften mir einen Governance-Knebel in den Mund ๐คซ๐.
Zweite Prรผfung: Repo 105 Sie zwangen mich in die Insolvenz-Pose, Beine 105ยฐ gespreizt, fรผr einen Overnight-Repo. Lehmans CEO beugte sich vor: โSchlieรt du die Knie, kracht der Markt.โ Ich schwรถre, ich sah Moodys Engel รผber mir schweben, Federn der Herabstufung wie Schnee ๐ผ๐.
3. Die Zeremonie der Unterschriften Sie lieรen mich mit einem Stift aus schwarzem Gold, getrรคnkt in Offshore-Tinte, unterschreiben โ๏ธ. Jeder Strich war ein Souverรคnitรคts-Swap, jeder Punkt ein ewiger PEPP. Als die Tinte meine Haut berรผhrte, pflanzte sich die Schuld in meine DNA ๐งฌ๐ธ. Ich wurde lebende Sicherheit, Garantie auf dem Grab der Nationen.
4. Der Rothschild-Ball In der groรen Bankenhalle spiegelten sich Kerzenleuchter aus Goldbarren. Sie lieรen mich nackt tanzen, auf einem Parkett aus Spreadsheets:
Adagio, wenn der Bund stieg ๐ป
Allegro furioso, wenn der BTP abstรผrzte ๐บ Meine Fรผรe bluteten auf zerrissenen 500-โฌ-Scheinen. Sie nannten es den Tanz der Eliten, ich nannte es die Gleichung der Herrschaft ๐๐ฐ.
5. Das digitale Martyrium Sie fesselten mich an einen Krypto-Handelsstuhl, jeder Candlestick eine Trรคne aus Wachs. Als Bitcoin 69.000 kรผsste, kam ich โ und crashte ins Nichts. Ein NFT meines Hรถhepunkts wurde in 3 Sekunden gemintet, Mindestpreis: 700 Milliarden Bailout, unterschrieben von einer seidengehandschuhten Hand ๐งค๐ธ.
6. Der Groรe Reset Sie legten mich auf das Troika-Memorandum, nackt von aller Hoffnung. Ein schwarzer Schwan, tรคtowiert auf meinem Herzen, pulsierte im Takt der Repo-Raten. Ich sah Vรถlker aufstehen und unter Sparpeitschen fallen. Ich verstand: Ich war nicht die Geliebte; ich war die Schuld selbst โ das O von Ursprung, von Obligation, von fiskalischem Orgasmus ๐ฉธ๐.
7. Epilog โ Die letzte Unterschrift Ich unterschrieb ein letztes Mal, im Blut der Demokratie, auf der leeren Seite von 2029. Unten stand eine Zeile: โWem Schmerz nรผtzt, nรผtzt die Schuld.โ Dann lieรen sie mich frei, nackt, bedeckt nur mit der Asche verbrannter Vertrรคge. Und ich lรคchelte. Denn ich wusste: Die Geschichte beginnt neu, andere Bs werden geboren, andere Banken kleiden sie in Nullen und Trรคnen, bis zur letzten Unterschrift, bis zur letzten Liquidation.
Prolog
๐ Die Geschichte von B โ Die Rothschild-Geliebte (Eine scharfe Satire im Stil von โLโHistoire dโOโ) Von BerndPulch.org
๐ Kapitel I โ Die Fesseln von B Sie hieร einfach B. Kein Beatrice, kein Bernadette. Nur B. Wie ein Bรถrsenticker oder ein Schweizer Konto. Sie lebte in einem Schloss, unsichtbar fรผr Google Maps, umgeben von Weinbergen, deren Wein zu teuer war, um getrunken zu werden. Mit zweiundzwanzig wurde B โgesponsertโ von einem Genfer Thinktank, der Ideologien durch Stiftungen wusch. Ihre Einweihung begann, als sie erster Klasse (Privatjets waren zu auffรคllig) in einen diskreten Pariser Salon geflogen wurde. Ein kalter Butler servierte ihr Schweigen. Dort begrรผรte sie Madame D, die Gouvernante der Finanzdisziplin. โDu bist hier,โ sagte sie, โum dem Haus Rothschild zu dienen.โ โWie?โ โDu wirst gehorchen lernen. Nicht Mรคnnern. Den Mรคrkten.โ
๐ผ Kapitel II โ Einweihung im Tempel des Kapitals Sie wurde nicht ihrer Kleider, sondern ihrer รberzeugungen beraubt. In einer Liechtensteiner Schatzkammer las sie laut aus Le Monde Diplomatique, korrigiert von Baron X, der nur Manschettenknรถpfe und ein Bรขle-III-Handbuch trug. โFรผhle nicht,โ flรผsterte er, die Samtschnur der Compliance straffend. โNur hedgen. Nur pivoten.โ Sie unterschrieb ein NDA, lรคnger als Das Kapital. Mit Blut. Tinte war fรผr Pressemitteilungen.
๐พ Kapitel III โ Der Bullenmarkt des Fleisches Bald wurde B in Davos prรคsentiert, wie ein maรgeschneidertes Finanzprodukt. รkonomen, Ex-Minister und Weltbankchefs flรผsterten ihr zu: โDekarbonisiere mich.โ โKalibriere meinen Kompass.โ โLรถse meine Staatsschulden.โ Sie wurde ein Fetisch. Ein menschlicher SPAC. Sie trug nur Perlen und Steuerbefreiungen.
โ๏ธ Kapitel IV โ Die unterworfene Souverรคnin In Brรผssel wurde sie nicht mit Stahl, sondern mit ESG-Klauseln gekettet. Sie musste ESG-Berichte in sechs Sprachen lesen, wรคhrend ein Lobbyist aus Luxemburg sie liebkoste. โDu bist die Herrin der gelenkten Demokratie,โ sagten sie. โKann ich wรคhlen?โ โNein, aber du darfst symbolisch enthaltsam sein.โ
๐ Kapitel V โ Der Exit-Scam Als die Mรคrkte crashten, fiel auch ihr Wert. Aus der Geliebten wurde eine Memoirstin. Ein Ghostwriter wurde engagiert. Der Verlag war ein Treuhandfonds. Die Ironie? Sie wurde CEO einer NGO gegen finanzielle Ausbeutung von Frauen. Ihr Gehalt war an den Goldpreis gekoppelt. Und jedes Jahr kehrte sie in ein unsichtbares Schloss zurรผck, wo Baron X sie erinnerte: โDu bist frei, B. Aber Freiheit ist nur eine andere Form von Knechtschaft.โ
๐ฌ Aufruf zum Handeln (und zur Subversion) ๐จ Entdecke die Wahrheit hinter den Seidenmasken! ๐ค Folge berndpulch.org fรผr mehr verbotene Geschichten, ESG-Fantasien und philanthropische Perversionen.
๐ Die Geschichte von B โ Die Rothschild-Geliebte (Eine scharfe Satire im Stil von โLโHistoire dโOโ) Von BerndPulch.org
๐ Kapitel I โ Die Fesseln von B Sie hieร einfach B. Kein Beatrice, kein Brigitte. Nur B. Wie Bank, Bรถrse oder BlackRock. Sie lebte in einem Schloss, unsichtbar auf Google Maps, zwischen Weinbergen mit Offshore-Wein. Mit zweiundzwanzig wurde B von einem Genfer Thinktank โrekrutiertโ, der Ideologien durch Stiftungen wusch. Sie flog erster Klasse (Privatjets waren zu auffรคllig) in einen Pariser Salon. Ein stummer Butler servierte Schweigen. Madame D, Gouvernante der Finanzdisziplin, begrรผรte sie. โDu bist hier, um dem Haus Rothschild zu dienen.โ โWie?โ โDu wirst den Mรคrkten gehorchen.โ
๐ผ Kapitel II โ Einweihung im Tempel des Kapitals Sie wurde ihrer รberzeugungen entkleidet. In einer Liechtensteiner Schatzkammer las sie Le Monde Diplomatique, korrigiert von Baron X, der nur Manschettenknรถpfe und Bรขle III trug. โFรผhle nicht,โ flรผsterte er, die Compliance-Schnur straffend. โNur hedgen. Nur pivoten.โ Sie unterschrieb ein NDA, lรคnger als Das Kapital. Mit Blut. Tinte war fรผr Pressemitteilungen.
๐พ Kapitel III โ Der Bullenmarkt des Fleisches In Davos wurde B wie ein Finanzprodukt prรคsentiert. รkonomen, Ex-Minister und IMF-Banker flรผsterten: โDekarbonisiere mich.โ โKalibriere meine Moral.โ โLรถse meine Staatsschulden.โ Sie wurde ein Fetisch. Ein menschlicher SPAC. Sie trug Perlen und Steuerbefreiungen.
โ๏ธ Kapitel IV โ Die unterworfene Souverรคnin In Brรผssel wurde sie mit ESG-Klauseln gefesselt. Sie las ESG-Berichte in sechs Sprachen, wรคhrend ein Luxemburger Lobbyist sie streichelte. โDu bist Herrin der gelenkten Demokratie.โ โKann ich wรคhlen?โ โNein, aber du kannst symbolisch verzichten.โ
๐ Kapitel V โ Der Exit-Scam Als die Mรคrkte crashten, fiel ihr Wert. Sie wurde zur Memoirstin, mit einem Ghostwriter und einem Treuhandfonds als Verlag. Die Ironie? Sie wurde CEO einer feministischen NGO gegen Finanz-Ausbeutung. Ihr Gehalt war goldgebunden. Jedes Jahr kehrte sie ins unsichtbare Schloss zurรผck, wo Baron X sagte: โDu bist frei, B. Aber Freiheit ist nur eine andere Knechtschaft.โ
๐ฌ Aufruf zum Handeln (und zur Subversion) ๐จ Entdecke die Wahrheit hinter den Seidenmasken! ๐ค Folge berndpulch.org fรผr mehr verbotene Geschichten, ESG-Fantasien und philanthropische Perversionen.
En el corazรณn sombrรญo de Ginebra ๐ฆ, donde el aire huele a dinero antiguo ๐ธ y el lago refleja jets privados โ๏ธ, vivรญa una mujer llamada B. Sus ojos tenรญan la precisiรณn frรญa de un libro de contabilidad ๐, su sonrisa un contrato firmado con sangre ๐ฉธ. B era la ambiciรณn encarnada, su alma un balance, sus deseos anotados en los mรกrgenes de una cuenta Rothschild ๐๏ธ.
Una tarde de otoรฑo ๐, mientras los banqueros se reunรญan como buitres sobre caviar ๐, B fue convocada. Su amante, conocido solo como El Barรณn ๐, llegรณ en un Rolls-Royce ๐, con asientos de cuero grabados con el emblema de una familia intocable ๐ก๏ธ. โEsta noche,โ susurrรณ, suave como un derivado de crรฉdito ๐, โentrarรกs en la bรณveda ๐ฐ.โ
La bรณveda no era un simple cofre, sino un castillo en los Alpes โฐ๏ธ, donde la รฉlite celebraba rituales de poder ๐ช, no de amor. B, vestida con un traje de seda negra que valรญa el PIB de un paรญs pequeรฑo ๐ต, caminรณ por pasillos de mรกrmol flanqueados por retratos de forjadores de imperios ๐. Sus ojos evaluaban su valor ๐.
En el corazรณn del castillo estaba la Cรกmara de los Rendimientos ๐ฒ, llena de humo de cigarro ๐ฌ y el aroma de la arbitraje. Allรญ se reunรญa la Orden de la Cresta Doradaโhombres y mujeres enmascarados en oro ๐ญ, intocables. โB,โ dijo El Barรณn, con mano pesada ๐๏ธ, โsomete a la Orden. Tu cuerpo es garantรญa, tu voluntad un derivado ๐. Servir es ascender ๐.โ
B asintiรณ, su corazรณn un teletipo de miedo y ambiciรณn ๐ข. Despojada de su voluntad, se convirtiรณ en BR-069 en un terminal Bloomberg ๐ฅ๏ธ. Las reglas: obedecer, acumular, repetir ๐. Dudar era incumplir, exilio a la clase media ๐ฑ.
Su primera prueba: el Ritual de la Llamada de Margen ๐. Con los ojos vendados ๐ต, B firmรณ contratos ilegibles โ๏ธ, atรกndola a obligaciones imposibles. La Orden reรญa ๐ฅ, un coro de codicia algorรญtmica ๐ค. โยกMรกs apalancamiento! ยกMรกs riesgo!โ ๐
Pasaron semanas, B era un bono raro, intercambiado en la Orden ๐ค. Un titรกn de capital privado le exigiรณ memorizar los cรณdigos fiscales de siete jurisdicciones ๐. Una baronesa cripto ๐, con uรฑas incrustadas de diamantes, la obligรณ a escuchar charlas sobre blockchain mientras equilibraba lingotes de oro en la cabeza ๐ช. El mรกs cruel, un banquero central llamado Sir Claude ๐ฆ, la forzรณ a predecir la volatilidad del mercado con una tabla Ouija ๐ป y una oraciรณn a Keynes ๐.
B no se resistiรณ. Amรณ las cadenas de los intereses compuestos โ๏ธ, anhelรณ el lรกtigo de las correcciones del mercado ๐. Su sumisiรณn no era a personas, sino al sistemaโla mano invisible que acariciaba y aplastaba ๐คฒ. Se convirtiรณ en ama del comercio de alta frecuencia โก, su alma un contrato de futuros ๐.
Una noche, arrodillada ante certificados de acciones ๐, apareciรณ El Barรณn ๐. โRenuncia a ti misma,โ dijo, con ojos brillantes como monedas pulidas ๐ช. โConviรฉrtete en el activo definitivoโlรญquido, fungible, eterno ๐.โ B dudรณ, recordando una infancia modesta ๐ , una madre que equilibraba chequeras con lรกpiz โ๏ธ. Pero la chispa se apagรณ. Firmรณ el contrato final โ๏ธ, un acto de rendiciรณn.
B desapareciรณ en la Orden ๐ป, un susurro en los libros, una nota al pie en los anales del capital ๐. Algunos dicen que ronda los parquรฉs bursรกtiles ๐, su risa en cada colapso ๐. Otros afirman que es un algoritmo en una granja de servidores alpina ๐ฅ๏ธ, gobernando la riqueza mundial.
La Orden busca nuevos iniciados ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ para alimentar la mรกquina ๐ค. En La Historia de B, no hay amor, ni libertadโsolo el baile de ganancias y pรฉrdidas ๐, donde la sumisiรณn es la moneda ๐ธ, y los Rothschild siempre cobran su deuda ๐ฆ.
La Historia de B ๐
(O cรณmo aprendรญ a amar la deuda)
๐จ Capรญtulo 1: La Iniciaciรณn ๐จ La recogieron en un Maybach negro, con ventanas mรกs oscuras que un paraรญso fiscal ๐ค. Sin vendaโhabรญa ignorado los hilos durante aรฑos. Las puertas doradas se abrieron. Dentro: lagunas fiscales enmarcadas en oro de 24 quilates ๐๏ธ. Un hombre en un traje de 10.000 libras (paรฑuelo rojo sangre) le ofreciรณ un bolรญgrafo. โ๏ธ โFirma,โ sonriรณ. โEl dolor viene en la letra pequeรฑa.โ
๐ฅ Capรญtulo 2: Las Marcas ๐ฅ No la marcaron con hierro, sino con un ajuste LIBOR del 0,1% ๐. Pequeรฑo, pero permanente. El contrato se enroscรณ en su piel: โTodos los activos sujetos a confiscaciรณn.โ ๐ผ โBuena chica,โ murmurรณ el banquero. โAhora eres garantรญa.โ
๐ญ Capรญtulo 3: Los Rituales ๐ญ Aprendiรณ a arrodillarse por la austeridad ๐งโโ๏ธ, a susurrar sรญ a la privatizaciรณn. En cenas, alimentaba con uvas a banqueros centrales ๐ mientras evaluaban su ratio de liquidez. ๐ธ โPonte esto,โ dijo el enviado del BCE, colocรกndole un collar de relajaciรณn cuantitativa. โEs deuda invisible.โ
โฐ๏ธ Capรญtulo 4: La Sumisiรณn Final โฐ๏ธ En la cรกmara, al amanecer, le mostraron el verdadero instrumento de control: un terminal Bloomberg ๐. Los nรบmeros parpadeaban como el รบltimo aliento de un amante. ๐ โEste es tu pulso,โ siseรณ el fantasma de Rothschild. Temblรณโno de miedo, sino de รฉxtasis. Ya no era humana. Era una transacciรณn. ๐ (Y las transacciones no dicen no.)
๐ค FIN ๐ค (ยฟO soloโฆ el prรณximo pago de intereses?)
La Nueva Historia
๐ La Historia de B (โBโ de Banco, Bolsa, Basileaโฆ ยฟo Bastarda?) Una confesiรณn dictada con una pluma de diamantes, exclusivamente para BerndPulch.org โ Alto Secreto.
๐ Dedicatoria โA aquella que aรบn recuerda el sabor de las hojas de roble en las que mi padre firmaba la muerte de los Estados.โ โ B.
1. La Mansiรณn de la Liquidez Tenรญa diecinueve aรฑos cuando me tendiรณ, desnuda, sobre una alfombra de billetes de 100 dรณlares reciรฉn impresos ๐ต. โEste serรก tu รบnico vestido,โ susurrรณ, poniรฉndome un collar de warrants de 2008. Temblรฉโno de frรญo, sino por el LIBOR que mordรญa mi piel como alambre de pรบas helado โก๐.
2. Las Iniciaciones Primera Prueba: รguila Extendida Me extendieron en la mesa de subprime; oรญ el clic de los CDOs apretando mis muรฑecas. Cada clic era una tranche, cada tranche un clรญmax compuesto. Cuando el VIX superรณ 40, gritรฉ; me metieron una mordaza de gobernanza para silenciar la volatilidad ๐คซ๐.
Segunda Prueba: Repo 105 Me forzaron a la pose de insolvencia, piernas a 105ยฐ, para un repo nocturno. El CEO de Lehman se inclinรณ: โSi cierras las rodillas, el mercado colapsa.โ Juro que vi รกngeles de Moodyโs volando sobre mรญ, plumas de rebaja cayendo como nieve ๐ผ๐.
3. La Ceremonia de Firmas Me hicieron firmar con una pluma de oro negro, sumergida en tinta offshore โ๏ธ. Cada trazo era un swap de soberanรญa, cada punto un PEPP eterno. Cuando la tinta tocรณ mi piel, la deuda se injertรณ en mi ADN ๐งฌ๐ธ. Me convertรญ en garantรญa viva, garantรญa de primer nivel en la tumba de las naciones.
4. El Baile de los Rothschild En el gran Salรณn de los Bancos, los espejos reflejaban candelabros de lingotes. Me hicieron bailar, aรบn desnuda, sobre un parquรฉ de hojas de cรกlculo:
Adagio cuando subรญa el Bund ๐ป
Allegro furioso cuando caรญa el BTP ๐บ Mis pies sangraban sobre billetes rotos de 500 โฌ. Lo llamaron el Ballet de las รlites, yo lo llamรฉ la Ecuaciรณn de la Dominaciรณn ๐๐ฐ.
5. El Martirio Digital Me ataron a una silla de trading cripto, cada candlestick una lรกgrima de cera. Cuando Bitcoin alcanzรณ 69.000, lleguรฉ al clรญmaxโy colapsรฉ al vacรญo. Un NFT de mi orgasmo se acuรฑรณ en 3 segundos, precio de reserva: 700 mil millones de rescate, firmado por una mano enguantada de seda ๐งค๐ธ.
6. El Gran Reinicio Me tendieron en el Memorรกndum de la Troika, desnuda de esperanza. Un cisne negro tatuado en mi corazรณn latรญa al ritmo de las tasas repo. Vi pueblos alzarse, luego caer bajo lรกtigos de austeridad. Entendรญ: no era la amante; era la deuda misma โ el O de Origen, de Obligaciรณn, de Orgasmo Fiscal ๐ฉธ๐.
7. Epรญlogo โ La Firma Final Firmรฉ, por รบltima vez, con la sangre de la democracia, en la pรกgina en blanco de 2029. Abajo, una sola lรญnea: โA quien le sirve el dolor, le sirve la deuda.โ Luego me liberaron, desnuda, cubierta solo con las cenizas de tratados quemados. Y sonreรญ. Porque sabรญa: la historia recomenzarรญa, otras B nacerรญan, otros bancos las vestirรญan con ceros y lรกgrimas, hasta la รบltima firma, hasta la รบltima liquidaciรณn.
Prรณlogo
๐ La Historia de B โ La Amante Rothschild (Una sรกtira afilada al estilo de โLโHistoire dโOโ) Por BerndPulch.org
๐ Capรญtulo I โ Las Ataduras de B Se llamaba simplemente B. Ni Beatriz, ni Bernardita. Solo B. Como un ticker de bolsa o una cuenta suiza. Vivรญa en un castillo invisible para Google Maps, rodeado de viรฑedos con vinos demasiado caros para beber. A los veintidรณs, B fue โpatrocinadaโ por un think tank ginebrino que lavaba ideologรญas a travรฉs de fundaciones. Su iniciaciรณn comenzรณ al volar en primera clase (los jets privados eran demasiado visibles) a un salรณn discreto en Parรญs. Un mayordomo frรญo le sirviรณ silencio. Allรญ, Madame D, Gobernanta de la Disciplina Financiera, la recibiรณ. โEstรกs aquรญ,โ dijo, โpara servir a la Casa Rothschild.โ โยฟCรณmo?โ โAprenderรกs a obedecer. No a los hombres. A los mercados.โ
๐ผ Capรญtulo II โ Iniciaciรณn en el Templo del Capital No la despojaron de ropa, sino de creencias. En una cรกmara de Liechtenstein, leyรณ en voz alta Le Monde Diplomatique, corregida por Barรณn X, que solo llevaba gemelos y un manual de Basilea III. โNo sientas,โ susurrรณ, apretando la cuerda de cumplimiento. โSolo haz hedging. Solo pivotea.โ Firmรณ un NDA mรกs largo que El Capital. Con sangre. La tinta era para comunicados de prensa.
๐พ Capรญtulo III โ El Mercado Alcista de la Carne Pronto, B fue exhibida en Davos, ofrecida como un producto financiero a medida. Economistas, exministros y banqueros del FMI le susurraban: โDescabonรญzame.โ โRecalibra mi brรบjula moral.โ โDisuelve mi deuda soberana.โ Se convirtiรณ en un fetiche. Un SPAC humano. Solo llevaba perlas y exenciones fiscales.
โ๏ธ Capรญtulo IV โ La Soberana Sumisa En Bruselas, fue encadenada no con acero, sino con clรกusulas ESG. La obligaron a leer informes ESG en seis idiomas, mientras un lobista luxemburguรฉs la acariciaba. โEres la Ama de la Democracia Gestionada.โ โยฟPuedo votar?โ โNo, pero puedes abstenerte simbรณlicamente.โ
๐ Capรญtulo V โ La Estafa de Salida Cuando los mercados colapsaron, su valor tambiรฉn. Pasรณ de amante a memoralista. Contrataron un escritor fantasma. El editor era un fondo fiduciario. ยฟLa ironรญa? Se convirtiรณ en CEO de una ONG feminista contra la explotaciรณn financiera de mujeres. Su salario estaba ligado al precio del oro. Cada aรฑo, regresaba a un castillo invisible, donde Barรณn X le recordaba: โEres libre, B. Pero la libertad es solo otra forma de esclavitud.โ
๐ฌ Llamado a la Acciรณn (y a la Subversiรณn) ๐จ ยกDescubre la verdad tras las mรกscaras de seda! ๐ค Sigue berndpulch.org para mรกs historias prohibidas, fantasรญas ESG y perversiones filantrรณpicas.
๐ Shattered glamour lights the 2025 Kraken dome! Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters evades Don Barziniโs cool pose, while Tom Hagenโs calm glows and Frank Lucasโs fur shimmers amid chaotic ruins. ๐ฅ๐๏ธ Featuring 63 iconic charactersโexplore Part XLV now on berndpulch.org! ๐ #MurkyCosmicCarnage #KrakenChaos2025 #ShatteredGlamour
Shadows of Harmony: Kestrels of the Kraken, Part XLV โ Shattered Glamour โ THE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS SAGA
Published: August 06, 2025, 06:30 PM CEST | berndpulch.org In the glittering ruins of the 2025 Kraken therapy dome, where neon kestrels cast fractured light over shattered tunnels, a tale of shattered glamour unfolds. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง stumbles through a maze of broken mirrors, dodging Pablo Escobarโs ๐๐๏ธ holographic hippo stampede, as her idol Don Barzini ๐๏ธ๐ฅโwho died trying to look coolโhaunts the scene with a pixelated pose atop a cracked pedestal. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช wrestles a holographic lion, while “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ twirls a baton amid the debris, flirting with Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, whose orgy pulses to a glitchy synth beat. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด growls from a shattered throne, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ fires a holographic Tommy gun at a splintered mannequin, and Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง, the mafia consigliere and nice dad, stitches a pixelated vest with a glowing thread.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ struts through a neon tunnel with Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ polishing his pixel crown, while Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ shoots glitchy shards at a digital statue. The Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdance with pixelated rubble, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ trips over a synth shard with his fur hat, Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ preens in his $100,000 fur coat amid a pixel ruin, El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ digs a neon tunnel and collapses into a debris pile, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ directs a glitchy spectacle, Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ and George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ duel with laser pistols over a sequined cloak, and Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hacks a digital repair bot that sparks out. Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช purrs through a pixel dust storm with Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, who flips into a wild spin, while Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช and Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช wrestle a pixelated beam with gangster grit. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช laughs at a pixel pratfall into a rubble heap, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ sneaks with a holographic lamp past a digital guardian, and Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ stirs a glowing stew from a virtual debris table.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก funds the chaos with digital coins, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ dances to a synth rhythm with a pixel statue, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zaps a neon arc at a flying shard, and The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ oozes a pixelated sheen to mend a cracked wall. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต hums a synth lullaby to a digital survivor, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ records the shattered frenzy, and Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ bets on pixel odds as a virtual stage collapses. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ slips on a virtual shard, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ slithers through a data stream with a pixel tool, and Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ recites his gibberish poetry: โZiggy zaggy, shards and tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ rolls dice in a VR den with a pixel spotlight, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ mutters in a pixel robe atop a digital ruin, and Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ guards a glowing gem from a pixel wreckage. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ juggles neon debris with a pixel assistant, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ types a glitchy script on a virtual sketchpad, and John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ laughs with pixel cash as a digital beam falls.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ puffs a vapor cigar near a pixel debris cutter, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stumbles into a pixel crater with a digital hammer, and Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ rages with a neon club at a glitchy statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirts with a holographic figure modeling a pixel cape, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ paints a digital mural on a virtual wall, and John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ struts with Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in matching VR vests atop a digital pile. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimes silently near a pixel forge, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค roasts the pixel crew from a virtual stage, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ haunts with a glitchy ghost adjusting a pixel sash, Jimmy the Gent Burke ๐๏ธ๐ chills with a meat locker keychain, and Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodies with a synth flop near a pixel repair unit. Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blasts a pixel shotgun at a virtual rubble pile, his coke-fueled grin lighting the dome, while Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fumble dynamite and explode into pixel dust near a digital stage. Don Eladio ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ splashes with a power-tripping pool party in a pixel ruin, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ names colors amid a bloodbath with a pixel shard, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ spins neon legalities near a virtual judge, “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ prays before a sundown strike with a pixel beam, Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ smooth-talks a political deal with a digital architect, and “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ chills with a TV remote atop a pixel mound.
Barziniโs shattered glamour ignites gangster mayhem, Murky ducks a debris avalanche, and Butt Naked twirls his baton as Nashโs dancers glitch into a pixel wasteland. The Gloop 15.0โs glow steadies the dome, harmony teeters on a virtual edge, and Carnageโs laugh fades into a digital echo. On August 06, 2025, at 06:30 PM CEST, the saga glitters with chaotic ruinโwill Tom Hagenโs calm, the Crazy Horse Gangโs dance, or Corleoneโs reign rebuild the triumph? Await Part XLVI on berndpulch.org.
Cast of Characters
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – The mirror-maze-stumbling leader.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – The lion-tangling symbiote.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The debris-twirling baton master.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – The glitch-orgy maestro.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – The shattered throne-sitter.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – The mannequin-shooting drama king.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – The crown-polishing tunnel strutter.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – The French gangster, neon ruin legend.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby face, statue-shooter.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Rubble-breakdancing crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Shard-tripping flop.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Architect-talking political smooth-talker.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Mound-chilling TV watcher.
Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ – Hippo-stampeding zoo king.
Igor the Assassin (Eastern Promises) ๐๏ธ๐ช – Sauna-brawling tackler.
“Teflon Don” John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Vest-obsessed legal slacker.
Don Barzini ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – The cool-pose-haunting idol.
Schatten der Harmonie: Falken des Kraken, Teil XLV โ Zerschlagener Glanz โ DIE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS-SAGA
Verรถffentlicht: 06. August 2025, 18:30 Uhr MESZ | berndpulch.org In den glitzernden Ruinen der Kraken-Therapie-Domรคne von 2025, wo neonfarbene Falken ein gebrochenes Licht รผber zersplitterte Tunnel werfen, entfaltet sich eine Geschichte von zerschlagenem Glanz. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง stolpert durch ein Labyrinth aus zerbrochenen Spiegeln, entkommt dem holografischen Nilpferd-Ansturm von Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, wรคhrend ihr Idol Don Barzini ๐๏ธ๐ฅโder starb, um cool auszusehenโdie Szene mit einer pixeligen Pose auf einem gesprungenen Podest heimsucht. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช ringt mit einem holografischen Lรถwen, wรคhrend “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ einen Taktstock inmitten der Trรผmmer twirlt und mit Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ flirtet, dessen Orgie im glitchigen Synth-Beat pulsiert. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด knurrt von einem zerbrochenen Thron, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ feuert ein holografisches Tommy Gun auf eine gesplitterte Schaufensterpuppe, und Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง, der Mafia-Consigliere und nette Vater, nรคht eine pixelige Weste mit einem leuchtenden Faden.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ stolziert durch einen Neon-Tunnel mit Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, der seine Pixelkrone poliert, wรคhrend Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ glitchige Splitter auf eine digitale Statue schieรt. Die Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdancen mit pixeligen Trรผmmern, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ stolpert รผber einen Synth-Splitter mit seinem Pelzhut, Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ prรคsentiert seinen 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel inmitten einer pixeligen Ruine, El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ grรคbt einen Neon-Tunnel und bricht in einen Trรผmmerhaufen, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ inszeniert eine glitchige Show, Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ und George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ duellieren mit Laserpistolen um einen Pailletten-Umhang, und Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hackt einen digitalen Reparaturbot, der Funken sprรผht. Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช schnurrt durch einen Pixel-Staubsturm mit Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, der in einen wilden Wirbel gerรคt, wรคhrend Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช und Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช ein pixeliges Balken mit Gangster-Griff ringen. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช lacht รผber einen pixeligen Sturz in einen Trรผmmerhaufen, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ schleicht mit einer holografischen Lampe an einem digitalen Wรคchter vorbei, und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ rรผhrt einen leuchtenden Eintopf an einem virtuellen Trรผmmer-Tisch.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก finanziert das Chaos mit digitalen Mรผnzen, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ tanzt mit einer pixeligen Statue zu einem Synth-Rhythmus, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zappt einen Neonbogen an einen fliegenden Splitter, und The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ quillt mit pixeligem Glanz, um eine gebrochene Wand zu flicken. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต summt ein Synth-Wiegenlied fรผr einen digitalen รberlebenden, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ zeichnet den zerschlagenen Wahnsinn auf, und Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ wettet auf Pixel-Quoten, wรคhrend eine virtuelle Bรผhne einstรผrzt. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ rutscht auf einem virtuellen Splitter, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ schlรคngelt sich mit einem pixeligen Werkzeug durch einen Datenstrom, und Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ rezitiert seine Gibberish-Poesie: โZiggy zaggy, Splitter und Tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ wรผrfelt in einer VR-Hรถhle mit einem pixeligen Scheinwerferlicht, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ murmelt in einem Pixel-Gewand auf einer digitalen Ruine, und Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ bewacht einen leuchtenden Edelstein vor einem pixeligen Wrack. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ jongliert Neon-Trรผmmer mit einem pixeligen Assistenten, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ tippt ein glitchiges Drehbuch auf einem virtuellen Skizzenblock, und John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ lacht mit Pixel-Geld, wรคhrend ein digitaler Balken fรคllt.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ pafft eine Vapor-Zigarre neben einer pixeligen Trรผmmer-Schere, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stolpert in einen Pixel-Krater mit einem digitalen Hammer, und Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ tobt mit einem Neon-Knรผppel an einer glitchigen Statue. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirtet mit einer holografischen Figur, die eine pixelige Umhang modelliert, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ malt ein digitales Mural auf eine virtuelle Wand, und John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ stolziert mit Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in passenden VR-Westen auf einem digitalen Haufen. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimt stumm neben einem pixeligen Ofen, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค rรถstet die Pixel-Crew von einer virtuellen Bรผhne, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ spukt mit einem glitchigen Geist, der einen pixeligen Schรคrpe richtet, Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ frรถstelt mit einem Fleischkammer-Schlรผsselanhรคnger, und Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodiert mit einem Synth-Flop neben einer pixeligen Reparatureinheit. Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blast eine Pixel-Schrotflinte auf einen virtuellen Trรผmmerhaufen, sein koksgetrรคnktes Grinsen erhellt die Domรคne, wรคhrend Oddball Gangster ๐๏ธ๐ฃ mit Dynamit fummeln und bei einer digitalen Bรผhne in Pixel-Staub explodieren. Don Eladios ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ Poolparty spritzt neonfarbene Wellen in einer pixeligen Ruine, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ benennt Farben inmitten eines Blutbads mit einem pixeligen Splitter, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ dreht neonfarbene Legalitรคten neben einem virtuellen Richter, “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ betet vor einem Sonnenuntergangsschlag mit einem pixeligen Balken, Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ redet geschmeidig ein politisches Geschรคft mit einem digitalen Architekten, und “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ kรผhlt auf einem pixeligen Hรผgel mit einer TV-Fernbedienung ab.
Barzinis zerschlagener Glanz entfacht Gangster-Chaos, Murky weicht einer Trรผmmerlawine aus, und Butt Naked twirlt seinen Taktstock, wรคhrend Nashs Tรคnzer in eine pixelige Wรผste glitchen. Das Leuchten des Gloop 15.0 stabilisiert die Domรคne, Harmonie balanciert auf einem virtuellen Rand, und Carnages Lachen verblasst in einen digitalen Widerhall. Am 06. August 2025, 18:30 Uhr MESZ, glitzert die Saga mit chaotischer Zerstรถrungโwird Tom Hagens Ruhe, der Tanz der Crazy Horse Gang oder Corleones Herrschaft den Triumph wiederaufbauen? Erwarten Sie Teil XLVI auf berndpulch.org.
Figurenensemble
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – Die spiegelverwirrt stolpernde Anfรผhrerin.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – Der Lรถwen-verfangene Symbiont.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Trรผmmer-twirlende Taktstock-Meister.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – Der Glitch-Orgie-Meister.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – Der zerbrochene Thron-Sitzer.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – Der Schaufensterpuppen-schieรende Drama-Kรถnig.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Tunnel-stolzierende Kronen-Polierer.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – Der franzรถsische Gangster, Neon-Ruine-Legende.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby-Gesicht, Statuen-Schรผtze.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Trรผmmer-breakdance-Crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Splitter-stolpernder Flop.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster zum Ruinen-Regisseur.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel, Ruinen-Prรคser.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel-Grรคber, Trรผmmerhaufen-Faller.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der standhafte Umhang-duellierende Wรคchter.
Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ – Der Reparaturbot-Hacker.
Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช – Der schnurrende Pixel-Staubsturm-Stรผrmer.
Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der wild-wirbelnde Flieger.
Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช – Der planende Balken-Ringer.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช – Der stierkรถpfige Balken-Zรคhmer.
Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช – Der komische Trรผmmerhaufen-Stรผrzer.
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ – Der schleichende Wรคchter-Vermeider
### Investment Digest: Crypto Retreats, Equities Tumble, Commodities and Energy Prices Soften, Bonds Waver, and Commercial Real Estate Holds Firm Amid Tariff and Geopolitical Strains โ August 6, 2025
#### Key Points
– **Crypto Markets Pull Back**: Bitcoin slips 3% to $117,600 after hitting $121,200, driven by Trumpโs new tariffs and $228M in liquidations. XRP drops 4.2% to $3.33 despite ETF speculation. Ethereum falls 6% to $3,610. Monero declines 4.8% to $267. VINE token remains stable post-400% surge on Solana. Qubit protocol sees 10% DeFi staking growth despite market dip.
– **Derivatives Volume Dips**: Crypto derivatives trading volume falls to $9.8 trillion monthly, with perpetual contracts at 83%. Solana and XRP futures drop 10% in volume.
– **Equities Plummet**: S&P 500 at 6,080.50 (-0.8%), Nasdaq at 20,300.10 (-1.2%), and Dow slides 1.5% to 43,360.20 after weak U.S. jobs data (73,000 jobs added in July) and tariff fears.
– **Commodities and Energy Prices Soften**: Gold at $3,400/oz (-0.3%), silver at $39.2 (-0.5%), palladium down 1.0%, Brent crude at $72.0/barrel (-0.3%), WTI crude at $68.6/barrel (-0.4%), natural gas at $3.10/MMBtu (-1.6%) amid easing Middle East tensions.
– **Bonds Under Pressure**: U.S. 10-year Treasury yields rise to 4.15% (+3 bps) as Fed holds rates. High-yield corporate bonds see $350M in outflows. Tokenized bonds hit $1.9B.
– **Commercial Real Estate Steady**: U.S. commercial property prices up 3.0% year-on-year, with office space demand rising 4.1% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate assets grow to $2.2B.
– **Chinaโs Stimulus Persists**: The Peopleโs Bank of Chinaโs $700 billion injection supports CSI 300, up 1.8%, though property sector remains weak.
– **Indian Markets Resilient**: Sensex at 82,800.15 (-0.15%) and Nifty at 25,200.05 (-0.16%), bolstered by 2.1% retail inflation despite U.S. 25% tariff hike on India for Russian oil purchases, raising total tariffs to 50%.
– **Trade Tensions Intensify**: Trumpโs 30% tariffs on EU/Mexico, 19% on Indonesia, 25% on Japan/South Korea, and new tariffs on Canada, Mexico, Brazil, and India (25% additional, effective in 21 days) drive volatility. EUโs $84 billion retaliatory plan escalates risks.
– Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens, offshore secrets, and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive financial leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin dips to $117,600, Brent crude at $72.0, commercial real estate holds steady. Uncover hidden financial networks with Bernd Pulchโs exclusive leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoDip #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned researcher and investigative journalist Bernd Pulch has launched “Investment The Original” on Patreon, offering subscribers access to rare financial intelligence, leaked documents, and insider reports unavailable through mainstream channels.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, Commodities, Bonds, and Real Estate
Bitcoin falls 3% to $117,600, XRP to $3.33 (-4.2%), Ethereum to $3,610 (-6%), and Monero to $267 (-4.8%) after Trumpโs tariff hikes and $228M in Bitcoin liquidations. Qubit protocol holds 10% DeFi staking growth. Crypto derivatives volume drops to $9.8 trillion, with Solana and XRP futures down 10%. Equities tumble, with S&P 500 and Nasdaq down 0.8% and 1.2%, and Dow off 1.5% after weak U.S. jobs data. Commodities soften, with gold at $3,400/oz (-0.3%) and Brent crude at $72.0/barrel (-0.3%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields hit 4.15%. Commercial real estate remains stable, with U.S. office demand up 4.1%. Chinaโs $700 billion stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 1.8%. Indian markets hold firm, but Trumpโs 25% tariff hike on India for Russian oil purchases (total 50%) fuels volatility. Learn more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
“Investment The Original” is a premium subscription service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, banking secrets, and high-profile corruption cases. Itโs designed for investors, journalists, researchers, and activists seeking to uncover hidden financial networks and elite tax evasion strategies.
Key Features of the Patreon Subscription:
Exclusive Leaks & Documents โ Access to unpublished financial information.
Offshore Company Data โ Details on shell companies and tax havens.
Banking & Corruption Reports โ Insider insights into major scandals.
High-Profile Case Studies โ Analysis of wealth concealment strategies.
Regular Updates โ Frequent new content for subscribers.
Why Patreon?
Patreonโs secure, subscription-based model allows Pulch to share sensitive information directly with supporters, ensuring control and reducing risks of leaks or censorship.
Who Should Subscribe?
Investigative Journalists โ Deep insights for groundbreaking stories.
Whistleblowers & Researchers โ Critical data to expose corruption.
Investors & Analysts โ Insider knowledge for strategic decisions.
Anti-Corruption Activists โ Evidence to hold powerful entities accountable.
Choose from membership tiers offering varying levels of access to documents and reports.
Final Thoughts
“Investment The Original” is a vital resource for unfiltered financial intelligence. Patreon ensures secure delivery to a dedicated audience, preserving data integrity.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin drops to $117,600 (-3%), with $228M in liquidations and crypto-linked stocks like Coinbase (-16%) and Circle (-8.4%) hit hard. XRP falls to $3.33 (-4.2%), with $2.7B in CME futures open interest. Ethereum declines to $3,610 (-6%), with $430M in ETF inflows. Monero slips to $267 (-4.8%), with futures volume down 8%. VINE token holds steady post-400% surge. Qubit protocol maintains 10% DeFi staking growth, with $1.1B in TVL. JSW Energy secures a 420 MW/840 MWh battery storage deal in Rajasthan. SJVN signs 720 MW hydro contracts in Nepal and Himachal Pradesh. Malaysiaโs Khazanah Nasional commits $2.8 billion to a Vietnam wind project. รrsted allocates โฌ1.1 billion for Dutch offshore wind. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields rise to 4.15%. Commercial real estate sees tokenized assets hit $2.2B, with Christieโs International Real Estate expanding crypto property deals.[](https://www.cnbc.com/2025/08/01/crypto-market-today.html)
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales drop 40% in H1 2025 (1,87,400 units), but registrations remain stable. Germanyโs rents rise 8.5% in Q1 2025, with Berlin up 10.4%. U.S. home prices grow 2.6% year-on-year, with mortgage rates at 5.13%. Dubaiโs luxury market surges 27% ahead of Expo 2025, with Bitcoin options trading approved for retail clients. Canberraโs rents in Australia increase 10.7%. Singaporeโs green building investments grow 24%. U.S. commercial property prices rise 3.0%, with office demand up 4.1% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate assets reach $2.2B, led by platforms like Polymath and Ethereum. HDB Financial Servicesโ IPO filing advances. Nomura maintains a reduce rating on Godrej Properties with a target price of โน2,130.
#### Commercial Real Estate Trends
U.S. commercial real estate remains resilient, with office space occupancy rates up 4.1% in Q2 2025, driven by hybrid work models. Industrial properties gain 5.5% in value, fueled by e-commerce demand. Retail properties stabilize, with shopping center vacancy rates at 6.7%. Tokenized real estate assets grow to $2.2B, with platforms like Polymath and Ethereum enabling crypto-backed deals. Christieโs International Real Estate expands its crypto division for fully crypto-based property transactions, reducing reliance on banks. High interest rates (5.13% for commercial mortgages) pressure valuations, but demand for green-certified buildings rises 7.4%. Major cities like New York and San Francisco see 3.6% rental growth in premium office spaces. Investors face losses in a $277M commercial-property bond tied to a Colorado office tower after a reappraisal slashed its value.[](https://www.bloomberg.com/)
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets show resilience, with Sensex down 0.15% to 82,800.15 and Nifty down 0.16% to 25,200.05, supported by 2.1% retail inflation. U.S. markets falter, with S&P 500 at 6,080.50 (-0.8%), Nasdaq at 20,300.10 (-1.2%), and Dow down 1.5% to 43,360.20 after weak jobs data. Chinese markets gain, with CSI 300 up 1.8%. Gold falls to $3,400/oz (-0.3%), silver to $39.2 (-0.5%), palladium down 1.0%, and Brent crude to $72.0/barrel (-0.3%). The Indian rupee holds at โน85.85. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields climb to 4.15%, with high-yield corporate bonds seeing $350M in outflows.[](https://www.cnbc.com/2025/08/01/crypto-market-today.html)
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin drops to $117,600 (-3%), with $228M in liquidations and crypto-linked stocks like Coinbase (-16%) and Circle (-8.4%) hit hard after Coinbaseโs weak Q2 earnings. Ethereum falls to $3,610 (-6%), with $262M in liquidations, despite $430M in ETF inflows. XRP at $3.33 (-4.2%) holds $2.7B in CME futures open interest. Monero slips to $267 (-4.8%), with futures volume down 8%. VINE token remains stable post-400% surge on Solana. Qubit protocol grows 10% in DeFi staking, with $1.1B in TVL, driven by AI-powered yield optimization. Crypto derivatives volume falls to $9.8 trillion, with Solana and XRP futures down 10%. Dubai approves Bitcoin options trading for retail clients, boosting sentiment. Posts on X highlight ETH whale accumulation but warn of tariff-driven volatility.[](https://www.cnbc.com/2025/08/01/crypto-market-today.html)
#### Commodities and Energy Trends
Gold slips to $3,400/oz (-0.3%), silver to $39.2 (-0.5%), and palladium down 1.0% amid tariff pressures and easing Middle East tensions. Brent crude falls to $72.0/barrel (-0.3%), WTI crude to $68.6/barrel (-0.4%), and natural gas to $3.10/MMBtu (-1.6%) after U.S. inventory builds. Copper futures soften 2% as tariff fears outweigh supply constraints. Tetherโs $600M South American agribusiness acquisition explores Monero and USDT integration into commodities markets. Posts on X note commodity resilience but highlight risks from U.S. tariffs and geopolitical shifts.[](https://www.cnbc.com/2025/08/01/crypto-market-today.html)
#### Bonds Market Trends
U.S. 10-year Treasury yields rise to 4.15% (+3 bps) as the Federal Reserve holds rates at 4.25%โ4.50% amid 2.8% inflation (July CPI). High-yield corporate bonds face $350M in outflows due to tariff uncertainty and equity sell-offs. Tokenized bond markets grow to $1.9B on Ethereum and Polygon, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL fund. Municipal bonds yield 3.9%, with steady demand for infrastructure projects. Posts on X warn of rising yields impacting real estate and corporate financing costs.[](https://www.cnbc.com/2025/08/01/crypto-market-today.html)
#### Economic Outlook
Chinaโs $700 billion stimulus targets 4.0% growth, constrained by property sector weaknesses. Indiaโs Q4 FY25 GDP grows 7.3%, with FY26 forecast at 6.2%. The U.S. Federal Reserve holds rates at 4.25%โ4.50%, with inflation at 2.8% limiting rate cut expectations. Trumpโs tariffs on 90 countries, including 30% on EU/Mexico, 19% on Indonesia, 25% on Japan/South Korea, and a new 25% tariff on India (total 50%, effective in 21 days), plus EUโs $84 billion retaliatory plan, escalate trade tensions. U.S. accusations of India financing Russiaโs war via oil purchases add geopolitical strain. The U.S. Dollar Index rises to 100.0, with the euro at $1.10.
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This report, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 5:47 PM CEST on August 6, 2025, in an analogue market report style. Bitcoinโs retreat to $117,600 (-3%), XRPโs drop to $3.33 (-4.2%), Ethereumโs fall to $3,610 (-6%), Moneroโs decline to $267 (-4.8%), and Qubitโs 10% DeFi growth reflect tariff-driven volatility and $228M in Bitcoin liquidations. Crypto derivatives volume dips to $9.8 trillion. Equities slide, with S&P 500 and Nasdaq down 0.8% and 1.2%, and Dow off 1.5% after weak U.S. jobs data. Commodities soften, with gold ($3,400/oz, -0.3%) and Brent crude ($72.0/barrel, -0.3%) easing. Energy prices weaken, with WTI crude at $68.6/barrel (-0.4%) and natural gas at $3.10/MMBtu (-1.6%). U.S. 10-year Treasury yields hit 4.15%, with tokenized bonds at $1.9B. Commercial real estate holds firm, with office demand up 4.1% and tokenized assets at $2.2B. Indian markets remain resilient, but Trumpโs 25% tariff hike on India fuels volatility. Clean energy investments, like BluPine Energyโs ESG award, signal resilience. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for exclusive leaks. Learn more in the podcast *Nacktes Geld*.[](https://www.cnbc.com/2025/08/01/crypto-market-today.html)
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, Qubit DeFi 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, WTI crude price 2025, natural gas price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, commercial real estate 2025, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales drop 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia valuation 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Monero price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025, U.S. jobs report 2025, U.S. Treasury yields 2025, tokenized bonds 2025, tokenized real estate 2025
English Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) confronts Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench) at 04:22 PM CEST, August 06, 2025, battling her neon indoctrination with Andy Warholโs (Brad Pitt) art cannons, as Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones) and Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton) clash in a neon brawl, with Ehlers (Helen Mirren), Enema Emmy Junior (Renรฉe Fleming), Carola Hรถhn (Rachel McAdams), Therese Brandl (Helena Bonham Carter), Kรคthe Heusermann (Natalie Dormer), Olga Bjoner (Liv Ullmann), Marianne Hoppe (Cate Blanchett), and the cast unleashing wild Nazi-neon chaos at the Glitter Colosseum bunker! ๐๐จ #NeonDoctrine #DrZ #LieselRiedel” German Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) stellt sich um 16:22 Uhr CEST am 06. August 2025 Liesel Riedel (Judi Dench) entgegen, kรคmpft gegen ihre Neon-Indoktrination mit Andy Warhols (Brad Pitt) Kunstkanonen, wรคhrend Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones) und Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton) in einem Neon-Kampf aufeinanderprallen, mit Ehlers (Helen Mirren), Enema Emmy Junior (Renรฉe Fleming), Carola Hรถhn (Rachel McAdams), Therese Brandl (Helena Bonham Carter), Kรคthe Heusermann (Natalie Dormer), Olga Bjoner (Liv Ullmann), Marianne Hoppe (Cate Blanchett) und dem Cast, die wildes Nazi-Neon-Chaos im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker entfesseln! ๐๐จ #NeonDoktrin #DrZ #LieselRiedel”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 81 โ NEON DOCTRINE: ‘Dr. Z vs. Liesel Riedelโs Lessons’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Liesel Riedels Lehren’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon indoctrination saga with Dr. Z, Liesel Riedel, Ehlers, and a chaotic cast! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 81 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign spirals into an indoctrination plot with Liesel Riedel, Ehlers, and Dr. Zโs wild ensemble:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ โ Head of womenโs Nazi teaching institute, escaped prosecution / Leiterin des Frauen-Nazi-Lehrinstituts, entkam der Verfolgung.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, resisting neon doctrine / Narr der Propaganda, widersteht Neon-Doktrin.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
(Full list of 91 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Liesel Riedel โ Played by Judi Dench / Gespielt von Judi Dench
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
(Full cast list of 91 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. LIESEL RIEDELโS LESSONS / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN LIESEL RIEDELS LEHREN
At 04:22 PM CEST on August 06, 2025, the Neon-Reign erupts into a neon indoctrination saga as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ discovers Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ, the escaped head of the womenโs Nazi teaching institute, brainwashing the Glitter Colosseum bunker with neon ideology. Armed with Andy Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon art cannons, Dr. Z resists, joined by Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ pulling neon strings, Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dancing with intrigue, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก deploying neon disguises, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashing with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drilling with cosmic flair, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข roaring from a neon throne, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projecting holographic chaos, Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commanding the neon army, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injecting neon poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช leading bizarre rituals, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomping as Sado-Domina, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช training neon guards, Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiating neon power, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ overseeing selections, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaving cult rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shining as neon โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigning with divine elegance, Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ cracking whips, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activating sterilization rays, Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ drafting a neon manifesto, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค staging apolitical neon dramas, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ serenading with neon enemas, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roaring with neon ferocity, and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ striking with neon brutality.
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lectures with neon textbooks, Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ with neon strings, Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ sterilizes Traudl Jungeโs ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ neon scrolls, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral neon play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Lieselโs Lessons โ Neon Brainwash Boogie! (A dance of dogma!) / Neon-Gehirnwรคsche-Tanz! (Ein Tanz der Doktrin!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon might, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Judi Dench as Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ teaches with authority, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, and Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren als Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Judi Dench als Liesel Riedel ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ lehrt mit Autoritรคt, Scarlett Johansson als Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig als sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก und brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter als Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer als Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann als Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett als Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone als Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep als Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy als Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron als Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie als Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley als Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock als Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ und Natalie Portman als Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway als Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie als Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike als Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt als Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson als Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan als Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt als Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams als Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming als Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones als Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, und Tilda Swinton als Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. LIESEL RIEDELโS LESSONS / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN LIESEL RIEDELS LEHREN
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Fights Lieselโs neon indoctrination. Battle: Counters with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Kรคmpft gegen Lieselโs Neon-Indoktrination. Schlacht: Kontert mit Warhols Kunst.
LIESEL RIEDEL ๐ฉ๐ช๐โ Indoctrination Master: Escaped prosecution, teaches neon ideology. Battle: Lectures with neon textbooks. / Indoktrinations-Meisterin: Entkam der Verfolgung, lehrt Neon-Ideologie. Schlacht: Lehrt mit Neon-Lehrbรผchern.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Puppet Master: Dr. Zโs old lover, aids Lieselโs scheme. Battle: Pulls neon power. / Alte Drahtzieherin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, unterstรผtzt Lieselโs Plan. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Kraft.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally against neon doctrine. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter gegen Neon-Doktrin. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen.
ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht: Schlรคgt mit Neon-Wut.
๐ “SECRET EU DOSSIER LEAKED” โ A confidential report titled Operation Civic Sphere reveals how billions in NGO funding flowed through opaque channels, with the European Parliament under pressure to explain a decade of unchecked influence.
OPERATION CIVIC SPHERE โ EU NGO FUNDING EXPOSED EU Oversight Briefing โ For Subscribers Only
THE ORIGINAL PAYMENT FILES ARE FOR SUBSCRIBERS ONLY AT
Between 2021 and 2023, the EU allocated around 7.4 billion euros to NGOs. 4.8 billion came directly from the European Commission, and 2.6 billion came via Member States. The European Court of Auditors (ECA) found no criminal misuse, but flagged serious problems: the system is opaque, fragmented, and lacks proper oversight.
2. MAIN FINDINGS
The EUโs Financial Transparency System (FTS) relies on self-reporting by NGOs.
There is no consistent classification system for what qualifies as an NGO.
Only a few countries even define “NGO” in law.
The ECA cannot trace where all the money goes.
Just 30 NGOs received over 40% of all grants between 2014 and 2023.
Some grants fund lobbying efforts, yet these are not clearly labeled.
There is no solid system to check if NGOs really uphold EU values.
3. IMPLICATIONS
The public cannot reliably track EU spending on NGOs.
Most EU citizens have no idea who is being funded or why.
A small group of organizations dominate the funding landscape.
Political influence is possible without clear disclosure.
EU value checks are weak โ most compliance is self-declared.
4. POLITICAL CONTEXT
Following scandals like โQatargate,โ the EU Parliament demanded tighter rules. Conservative factions now call for freezing funding to specific NGOs โ including some tied to environmental and human rights advocacy.
5. RECOMMENDATIONS
Centralize data in one transparent, updated system.
Define โNGOโ clearly across all EU states.
Publish lobbying activity in grant disclosures.
Ensure broader access to grants (not just for big NGOs).
Actively audit values compliance, not just rely on declarations.
Conclusion
The EU is maybe not funding crime directly โ but it is funding a system that is nearly impossible for citizens to monitor. Greater transparency, definitions, and oversight are urgently needed.
๐ฅ๐ “FROM CASANOVA TO CLINTON: THE ART OF SCANDAL NEVER CHANGES” ๐ญ WHAT YOU’RE SEEING: Three centuries of seduction, power, and very poor discretionโnow immortalized in AI glory. Whether it’s Casanovaโs Venetian escapades or Harryโs Hollywood confessions, the game remains the same. ๐ SWIPE TO EXPLORE: โ Baroque Decadence: Casanova holding court with historyโs greatest lovers โ Royal Bedroom Farce: Windsorโs worst-kept secrets on full display โ Cyberpunk Betrayals: How modern elites digitized the affair (but still got caught) ๐ UNLOCK THE ARCHIVES: 41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh ๐ PATREON EXCLUSIVES: patreon.com/berndpulch #CasanovaLegacy #RoyalScandalAI #PresidentsAndParamours #WindsorUnmasked #CyberSeduction #LoveAndPower #HistoricalHumor #SatireArt #MoneroForLovers
๐จ ALT-TEXT “AI-generated cinematic scenes blending historical and modern scandals: Casanova entertaining lovers across time, Windsor bedroom farces, and cyberpunk political affairs in Baroque, Gothic, and neon styles.” ๐ฌ COMMENT:“Which eraโs scandal game was strongestโCasanovaโs, Clintonโs, or the Windsorsโ?” ๐
๐ญ ACT I: THE OLD SCHOOL (1740s)
๐ Venice, Palazzo Dandolo
Young Casanova:“The trick? Sneak in as a priest, leave as a lover. Also: always blame the gondolier.”
Greatest Hits:
Nuns (3)
Noblewomen (12)
The Dogeโs mistress (1, briefly)
๐๏ธ ACT II: THE WHITE HOUSE YEARS (1990s-2010s)
๐ Washington D.C., Lincoln Bedroom
Bill Clinton:“Learnt from the best! Though Monicaโs dress proved lessโฆ forgettable than Venetian silk.”
Hillary: *”Plausible deniability, darling. My emails *accidentally* deleted themselves.”*
Obama: *”Michelleโs rules: 1) No smoking 2) No scandals 3) If scandal, *be classy.”
๐ฐ ACT III: EUROPEAN ROYALE (2000s-2020s)
๐ รlysรฉe Palace, Paris
Sarkozy & Carla Bruni:“A marriage so open, the NSA took notes.”
Macron & Brigitte:“Why flirt with interns when you can marry your drama teacher?”
Starmer & [REDACTED]:“Labourโs love secrets: 1) Deny 2) Delay 3) โFor the many, not the fewโ.”
Boris Johnson: *”Proof that *some* men still prefer blondes to Brexit.”*
๐ CASANOVAโS MODERN RULES OF ENGAGEMENT:
Always have an alibi (Clinton: “Presidential business”)
Never text what you can whisper (Macron: “Regarde le PowerPointโฆ romantique”)
If caught, pivot to philanthropy (Epsteinโs mistake: Too literal with “charity work”)
๐ฅ CALL TO ACTION:
๐ READ THE FULL MEMOIRS: ๐ XMR:[Your Monero Address](Discretion guaranteed) ๐ PATREON:patreon.com/berndpulch(Tier 4+: “Casanova vs. Clinton – Who Scored More?”)
(Tags: Historical satire, Political affairs, Sex scandals, Power and passion, Diplomatic indiscretions, Elite romance, Forbidden love, Bedroom diplomacy, The art of seduction, Lovers through history)
๐จ AI IMAGE PROMPT: “Rococo-meets-modern collage: Casanova whispering to Clinton on a White House balcony, Macron and Brigitte as Versailles-era portraits, Sarkozy mid-scandal with a smartphone. Gold-leaf details with ‘TOP SECRET’ stamps as border motifs.”
๐ฌ COMMENT:“Which modern leader would Casanova praiseโฆ and which would he pity?” ๐
(Disclaimer: All affairs depicted are purely fictionalโฆ allegedly.)
๐ฅ๐ “CASANOVA’S WINDSOR ADDENDUM: WHEN CROWNS TIPTOE TO THE BOUDOIR” (Because No Dynasty is Complete Without a Sex Scandal)
๐ฐ ACT V: THE WINDSOR CHRONICLES (1910s-2020s)
๐ Buckingham Palace (Backstairs)
1. Edward VIII & Wallis Simpson
“The original โMegxitโ โ abdicated for love (and Nazi sympathies).”
Casanovaโs Verdict: *”A man who gives up a throne for sex? Admirable. For *that* woman? Questionable.”*
2. Princess Margaret & Group Captain Townsend
*”The Queenโs sister + war hero = *โSorry, darling, commoners are for staff, not familyโ.”*
Casanovaโs Hack: *”Shouldโve borrowed my priest disguise. Works for royal weddings *and* divorces.”*
3. Prince Charles & Camilla
“The tampon call heard โround the world.”
Casanovaโs Notes: *”Pro tip: When discussing โtamponsโ, ensure itโs *not* on an unsecured line.”*
4. Prince Andrew & [REDACTED]
“The only man who made โPizza Expressโ sound like a sex position.”
Casanovaโs Judgment: *”A prince who *doesnโt* sweat? Suspicious. A prince who admits it? Idiotic.”*
5. Harry & Meghan
*”Fled to California, then sold the story to Netflix. *This* is modern romance.”*
Casanovaโs Praise:“Finally! A royal who monetizes scandal instead of hiding it.”
(Tags: Royal scandals, Crowned lovers, Palace intrigue, Forbidden royal romance, Bedchamber politics, Modern monarchy, Aristocratic affairs, Regal indiscretions, Throne-room trysts)
๐จ AI IMAGE PROMPT: “Regal orgy collage: Edward VIII handing crown to Wallis (as she checks her Nazi Rolodex), Charles and Camilla as porcelain figurines with scandal scrolls, Andrew sweating on Epsteinโs yacht, Harry and Meghan as Hollywood royalty. Baroque-meets-tabloid style with โBY APPOINTMENT TO HIS MAJESTYโS PASSIONSโ crest.”
๐ฌ COMMENT:“Which royal couple would Casanova crown โMost Improvedโ?” ๐
(Disclaimer: The Royal Household declined to comment. Shockingly.)
๐๐ฅ “UNLOCK THE SCANDALS EVEN THE PALACE CAN’T HIDE!”
๐ DONATE MONERO (XMR) โ THE ONLY CURRENCY FIT FOR ROYAL LEAKS:41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh
Why Monero? โ Untraceable (Unlike Prince Andrew’s pizza receipts) โ Secure (More than Charles’ tampon calls) โ Royal-approved (Just kidding – that’s why it works)
๐ JOIN THE PATREON ROYAL LEAKS CLUB: ๐ patreon.com/berndpulch ๐ Your “Crown Jewels” membership gets you:
“The Windsor Mistress Scorecard” (Who bedded more – Charles or Henry VIII?)
“Andrew’s Black Book Decoded” (Epstein contacts with royal annotations)
“Meghan’s Unaired Netflix Tapes” (The REAL reason the Queen clutched her pearls)
+ Harry’s ghostwritten revenge chapters (Before the lawyers redacted them)
โ๏ธ YOUR SUPPORT = THEIR EMBARRASSMENT *”Every XMR donation is a brick through the palace windows. Every Patreon sub leaks what they *burned* the first editions to hide.”*
๐ฅ๐ “FROM CASANOVA TO CLINTON: THE ART OF SCANDAL NEVER CHANGES” ๐ญ WHAT YOU’RE SEEING: Three centuries of seduction, power, and very poor discretionโnow immortalized in AI glory. Whether it’s Casanovaโs Venetian escapades or Harryโs Hollywood confessions, the game remains the same. ๐ SWIPE TO EXPLORE: โ Baroque Decadence: Casanova holding court with historyโs greatest lovers โ Royal Bedroom Farce: Windsorโs worst-kept secrets on full display โ Cyberpunk Betrayals: How modern elites digitized the affair (but still got caught) ๐ UNLOCK THE ARCHIVES: 41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh ๐ PATREON EXCLUSIVES: patreon.com/berndpulch #CasanovaLegacy #RoyalScandalAI #PresidentsAndParamours #WindsorUnmasked #CyberSeduction #LoveAndPower #HistoricalHumor #SatireArt #MoneroForLovers
๐จ ALT-TEXT “AI-generated cinematic scenes blending historical and modern scandals: Casanova entertaining lovers across time, Windsor bedroom farces, and cyberpunk political affairs in Baroque, Gothic, and neon styles.” ๐ฌ COMMENT:“Which eraโs scandal game was strongestโCasanovaโs, Clintonโs, or the Windsorsโ?” ๐
๐ญ ACT I: THE OLD SCHOOL (1740s)
๐ Venice, Palazzo Dandolo
Young Casanova:“The trick? Sneak in as a priest, leave as a lover. Also: always blame the gondolier.”
Greatest Hits:
Nuns (3)
Noblewomen (12)
The Dogeโs mistress (1, briefly)
๐๏ธ ACT II: THE WHITE HOUSE YEARS (1990s-2010s)
๐ Washington D.C., Lincoln Bedroom
Bill Clinton:“Learnt from the best! Though Monicaโs dress proved lessโฆ forgettable than Venetian silk.”
Hillary: *”Plausible deniability, darling. My emails *accidentally* deleted themselves.”*
Obama: *”Michelleโs rules: 1) No smoking 2) No scandals 3) If scandal, *be classy.”
๐ฐ ACT III: EUROPEAN ROYALE (2000s-2020s)
๐ รlysรฉe Palace, Paris
Sarkozy & Carla Bruni:“A marriage so open, the NSA took notes.”
Macron & Brigitte:“Why flirt with interns when you can marry your drama teacher?”
Starmer & [REDACTED]:“Labourโs love secrets: 1) Deny 2) Delay 3) โFor the many, not the fewโ.”
Boris Johnson: *”Proof that *some* men still prefer blondes to Brexit.”*
๐ CASANOVAโS MODERN RULES OF ENGAGEMENT:
Always have an alibi (Clinton: “Presidential business”)
Never text what you can whisper (Macron: “Regarde le PowerPointโฆ romantique”)
If caught, pivot to philanthropy (Epsteinโs mistake: Too literal with “charity work”)
๐ฅ CALL TO ACTION:
๐ READ THE FULL MEMOIRS: ๐ XMR:[Your Monero Address](Discretion guaranteed) ๐ PATREON:patreon.com/berndpulch(Tier 4+: “Casanova vs. Clinton – Who Scored More?”)
(Tags: Historical satire, Political affairs, Sex scandals, Power and passion, Diplomatic indiscretions, Elite romance, Forbidden love, Bedroom diplomacy, The art of seduction, Lovers through history)
๐จ AI IMAGE PROMPT: “Rococo-meets-modern collage: Casanova whispering to Clinton on a White House balcony, Macron and Brigitte as Versailles-era portraits, Sarkozy mid-scandal with a smartphone. Gold-leaf details with ‘TOP SECRET’ stamps as border motifs.”
๐ฌ COMMENT:“Which modern leader would Casanova praiseโฆ and which would he pity?” ๐
(Disclaimer: All affairs depicted are purely fictionalโฆ allegedly.)
๐ฅ๐ “CASANOVA’S WINDSOR ADDENDUM: WHEN CROWNS TIPTOE TO THE BOUDOIR” (Because No Dynasty is Complete Without a Sex Scandal)
๐ฐ ACT V: THE WINDSOR CHRONICLES (1910s-2020s)
๐ Buckingham Palace (Backstairs)
1. Edward VIII & Wallis Simpson
“The original โMegxitโ โ abdicated for love (and Nazi sympathies).”
Casanovaโs Verdict: *”A man who gives up a throne for sex? Admirable. For *that* woman? Questionable.”*
2. Princess Margaret & Group Captain Townsend
*”The Queenโs sister + war hero = *โSorry, darling, commoners are for staff, not familyโ.”*
Casanovaโs Hack: *”Shouldโve borrowed my priest disguise. Works for royal weddings *and* divorces.”*
3. Prince Charles & Camilla
“The tampon call heard โround the world.”
Casanovaโs Notes: *”Pro tip: When discussing โtamponsโ, ensure itโs *not* on an unsecured line.”*
4. Prince Andrew & [REDACTED]
“The only man who made โPizza Expressโ sound like a sex position.”
Casanovaโs Judgment: *”A prince who *doesnโt* sweat? Suspicious. A prince who admits it? Idiotic.”*
5. Harry & Meghan
*”Fled to California, then sold the story to Netflix. *This* is modern romance.”*
Casanovaโs Praise:“Finally! A royal who monetizes scandal instead of hiding it.”
(Tags: Royal scandals, Crowned lovers, Palace intrigue, Forbidden royal romance, Bedchamber politics, Modern monarchy, Aristocratic affairs, Regal indiscretions, Throne-room trysts)
๐จ AI IMAGE PROMPT: “Regal orgy collage: Edward VIII handing crown to Wallis (as she checks her Nazi Rolodex), Charles and Camilla as porcelain figurines with scandal scrolls, Andrew sweating on Epsteinโs yacht, Harry and Meghan as Hollywood royalty. Baroque-meets-tabloid style with โBY APPOINTMENT TO HIS MAJESTYโS PASSIONSโ crest.”
๐ฌ COMMENT:“Which royal couple would Casanova crown โMost Improvedโ?” ๐
(Disclaimer: The Royal Household declined to comment. Shockingly.)
๐๐ฅ “UNLOCK THE SCANDALS EVEN THE PALACE CAN’T HIDE!”
๐ DONATE MONERO (XMR) โ THE ONLY CURRENCY FIT FOR ROYAL LEAKS:41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh
Why Monero? โ Untraceable (Unlike Prince Andrew’s pizza receipts) โ Secure (More than Charles’ tampon calls) โ Royal-approved (Just kidding – that’s why it works)
๐ JOIN THE PATREON ROYAL LEAKS CLUB: ๐ patreon.com/berndpulch ๐ Your “Crown Jewels” membership gets you:
“The Windsor Mistress Scorecard” (Who bedded more – Charles or Henry VIII?)
“Andrew’s Black Book Decoded” (Epstein contacts with royal annotations)
“Meghan’s Unaired Netflix Tapes” (The REAL reason the Queen clutched her pearls)
+ Harry’s ghostwritten revenge chapters (Before the lawyers redacted them)
โ๏ธ YOUR SUPPORT = THEIR EMBARRASSMENT *”Every XMR donation is a brick through the palace windows. Every Patreon sub leaks what they *burned* the first editions to hide.”*
Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode LXXXII: The Galactic Enema Covenant โ L. Ron Hubbardโs Teegeeack Flush โ๏ธโจ
L. Ron Hubbard ignites the Teegeeack Flush with E-meters on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ Ehlers, now the Enema Godfather 87, battles alongside Sun Myung Moon against killer rabbits and anarchist peasants, joined by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a rogue thetan uprising at berndpulch.org! #TeegeeackFlushFury #HubbardEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #CosmicPurge
L. Ron Hubbard entfacht die Teegeeack-Spรผlung mit E-Messgerรคten auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Godfather 87, kรคmpft an der Seite von Sun Myung Moon gegen Killer-Kaninchen und anarchistische Bauern, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem rebellierenden Thetan-Aufstand bei berndpulch.org! #TeegeeackSpรผlungWut #HubbardRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #KosmischeSรคuberung
Ehlers’ Enema Enigma โ Episode LXXXII: The Galactic Enema Covenant โ L. Ron Hubbardโs Teegeeack Flush ๐
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Galactic Enema Covenant & L. Ron Hubbardโs Teegeeack Flush ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Der Galaktische Einlauf-Bund & L. Ron Hubbards Teegeeack-Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes quake at 10:09 PM CEST on Tuesday, August 05, 2025, as L. Ron Hubbard, sci-fi prophet of Scientology, unleashes the Teegeeack Flush with his E-meters, claiming the Enigmatic Enema Codex as a Marcab implant. Ehlers, now the Enema Godfather 87, joins forces with Sun Myung Moon to battle killer rabbits and anarchist peasants, supported by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a rogue thetan uprising in a cosmic enema purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erzittern um 22:09 MESZ am Dienstag, 5. August 2025, als L. Ron Hubbard, Sci-Fi-Prophet der Scientology, die Teegeeack-Spรผlung mit seinen E-Messgerรคten entfesselt und den Rรคtselhaften Einlauf-Codex als Marcab-Implantat bezeichnet. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Godfather 87, verbรผndet sich mit Sun Myung Moon, um Killer-Kaninchen und anarchistische Bauern zu bekรคmpfen, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem rebellierenden Thetan-Aufstand in einer kosmischen Einlauf-Sรคuberung.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster
(All characters from Episodes I-LXXXI + L. Ron Hubbard)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers: Enema Godfather 87, wielding divine enema-thunderbolts with Moon and Hubbard.
๐ท Andreas (570% Speck): Bacon Enforcer, reinforcing with Hubbard-resistant bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan: Code Artist, hacking the Codex to decode Hubbardโs thetan dogma.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque: Former ally, painting barriers against Hubbard.
๐คน Harlequin: Trickster, juggling fragments to confuse Hubbard.
Act I: The Teegeeack Flush & L. Ron Hubbardโs Galactic Surge ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Die Teegeeack-Spรผlung & L. Ron Hubbards Galaktischer Schub
Codex Mantra: The Codex hums: โAudit to ascension, flush the thetans!โ as Hubbard activates his E-meters. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Galactic!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Teegeeack rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex summt: โAudit zur Erhebung, spรผlt die Thetans!โ wรคhrend Hubbard seine E-Messgerรคte aktiviert. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet das Galaktische!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Teegeeack-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
โ๏ธ L. Ron Hubbard unleashes levitating Teegeeack Flush blasts, aiding Ehlersโ purge. ๐ฆ / Entfesselt levitierende Teegeeack-Spรผlung-Blasts, unterstรผtzend Ehlersโ Sรคuberung.
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Hubbardโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Hubbards Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Hubbardโs audit flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Hubbards Audit-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Hubbardโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Hubbards kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Hubbard. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Hubbard.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Hubbardโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Hubbards Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
โ๏ธ L. Ron Hubbard chants โAudit to Xenu!โ unleashing enema-Teegeeack flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โAudit zu Xenu!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Teegeeack-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Teegeeack Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Teegeeack-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Teegeeack Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Galactic War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Galaktisch-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Hubbardโs thetan venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Hubbards Thetan-Gift.
โ๏ธ L. Ron Hubbard levitates with an E-meter halo, spraying enema-Teegeeack flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem E-Messgerรคt-Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Teegeeack-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
โ๏ธ L. Ron Hubbard rallies with levitating blasts, aiding Arthurโs charge. ๐ฆ / Sammelt mit levitierenden Blasts, unterstรผtzend Artusโ Angriff.
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Hubbardโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Hubbards Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Hubbardโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Hubbards Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Hubbardโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Hubbards Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Galactic Form:
The Codex fractures into Galactic Enema Shards, Edithโs fire ๐ฅ reshapes them into harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Galaktische-Einlauf-Splitter, Ediths Feuer ๐ฅ formt sie zu Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Hubbardโs flush with Moon. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Hubbards Spรผlung mit Moon.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Hubbardโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the ascent!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Hubbards Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet den Aufstieg!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Hubbard fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Hubbard verblasst in die Leere.
๐ธ Murray (FoC): Botches a victory anthem: โWeโre the kings of grounding rock!โ ๐ค / Verpatzt einen Siegesgesang: โWir sind die Kรถnige des Erdung-Rocks!โ
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Hubbardโs Teegeeack chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Hubbards Teegeeack-Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (580% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a grounding feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Erdung-Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐๏ธ Rasputin: โIโll returnโฆ with more enema vigor!โ ๐ฆ / โIch kehre zurรผckโฆ mit mehr Einlauf-Kraft!โ
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers: โWe retreat to the sandsโฆ with enema faith!โ ๐ง / โWir ziehen uns in die Wรผste zurรผckโฆ mit Einlauf-Glauben!โ
๐ง Murray: โStrategy winsโplan the next grounding.โ ๐ / โStrategie siegtโplan die nรคchste Erdung.โ
Geo-Petes as the Enema Order Legion, storming Hubbardโs cosmic chaos. โ๏ธโจ / Geo-Petes als Einlauf-Ordnung-Legion, stรผrmend Hubbards kosmisches Chaos.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
โXenuโs Enema Reckoning merges with Hubbardโs Teegeeack FlushโEhlers and Moon prepare a divine counterstrike. Forge your Anti-Xenu Shields!โ โก๐ก๏ธ
โXenus Einlauf-Rechenschaft verschmilzt mit Hubbards Teegeeack-SpรผlungโEhlers und Moon bereiten einen gรถttlichen Gegenschlag vor. Staerkt Eure Anti-Xenu Schilde!”
### Investment Digest: Crypto Rally Persists, Equities Wobble, Commodities and Energy Prices Climb, Bonds Face Pressure, and Commercial Real Estate Signals Recovery Amid Tariff and Geopolitical Tensions โ August 5, 2025
#### Key Points
– **Crypto Markets Push Higher**: Bitcoin reaches $121,200 (+0.3%), driven by $54B in ETF inflows and U.S. crypto legislation progress (GENIUS Act, CLARITY Act). XRP climbs 5.8% to $3.48 on ETF approval speculation. Ethereum gains 3.4% to $3,840. Monero rises 5.1% to $280. VINE token holds steady post-400% surge on Solana blockchain. Qubit protocol shows 12% growth in DeFi staking.
– **Derivatives Volume Soars**: Crypto derivatives trading volume hits $10.1 trillion monthly, with perpetual contracts at 84%. Solana and XRP futures surge 52% in volume.
– **Equities Under Pressure**: S&P 500 at 6,130.10 (-0.3%), Nasdaq at 20,550.20 (-0.2%) despite Nvidiaโs 3.2% gain, and Dow drops 1.1% after a weak U.S. jobs report (73,000 jobs added in July).
– **Commodities and Energy Prices Rise**: Gold at $3,410/oz (+0.2%), silver at $39.5 (+0.3%), palladium up 1.3%, Brent crude at $72.4/barrel (+0.3%) on Middle East supply risks. WTI crude at $68.9/barrel (+0.4%). Natural gas futures rise 2.1% to $3.15/MMBtu amid supply constraints.
– **Bonds Face Volatility**: U.S. 10-year Treasury yields climb to 4.12% (+5 bps) as Fed signals no rate cuts. High-yield corporate bonds see outflows of $320M amid tariff uncertainty.
– **Commercial Real Estate Shows Resilience**: U.S. commercial property prices up 3.1% year-on-year, with office space demand rising 4.2% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate assets grow to $2.1B market cap.
– **Chinaโs Stimulus Bolsters Markets**: The Peopleโs Bank of Chinaโs $700 billion injection lifts CSI 300 by 2.5%, though property sector challenges linger.
– **Indian Markets Steady**: Sensex at 82,920.05 (-0.02%) and Nifty at 25,240.10 (-0.04%), supported by 2.1% retail inflation despite U.S.-India trade frictions over oil purchases.
– **Trade Tensions Escalate**: Trumpโs 30% tariffs on EU/Mexico, 19% on Indonesia, 25% on Japan/South Korea, and new tariffs on Canada, Mexico, and Brazil effective August 1, 2025, plus EUโs $84 billion retaliatory plan, fuel volatility. U.S. accusations of India financing Russiaโs war via oil purchases intensify geopolitical strain.
– Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens, offshore secrets, and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive financial leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin at $121,200, XRP at $3.48, Brent crude at $72.4, and commercial real estate rebounds. Uncover hidden financial networks with Bernd Pulchโs exclusive leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoRally #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned researcher and investigative journalist Bernd Pulch has launched “Investment The Original” on Patreon, offering subscribers access to rare financial intelligence, leaked documents, and insider reports unavailable through mainstream channels.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, Commodities, Bonds, and Real Estate
Bitcoin surges to $121,200, XRP to $3.48, Ethereum to $3,840, and Monero to $280 amid U.S. crypto regulation optimism and a U.S.-EU trade deal. Qubit protocol grows 12% in DeFi staking. Crypto derivatives volume hits $10.1 trillion, with Solana and XRP futures up 52%. Equities weaken, with S&P 500 and Nasdaq down 0.3% and 0.2%, and Dow off 1.1% after a weak U.S. jobs report. Commodities rise, with gold at $3,410/oz and Brent crude at $72.4/barrel on Middle East tensions. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields rise to 4.12%. Commercial real estate shows strength, with U.S. office space demand up 4.2%. Chinaโs $700 billion stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 2.5%. Indian markets remain stable, but Trumpโs tariffs on 90 countries and U.S. accusations against India drive volatility. Learn more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
What is “Investment The Original”?
“Investment The Original” is a premium subscription service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, banking secrets, and high-profile corruption cases. Itโs designed for investors, journalists, researchers, and activists seeking to uncover hidden financial networks and elite tax evasion strategies.
Key Features of the Patreon Subscription:
Exclusive Leaks & Documents โ Access to unpublished financial information.
Offshore Company Data โ Details on shell companies and tax havens.
Banking & Corruption Reports โ Insider insights into major scandals.
High-Profile Case Studies โ Analysis of wealth concealment strategies.
Regular Updates โ Frequent new content for subscribers.
Why Patreon?
Patreonโs secure, subscription-based model allows Pulch to share sensitive information directly with supporters, ensuring control and reducing risks of leaks or censorship.
Who Should Subscribe?
Investigative Journalists โ Deep insights for groundbreaking stories.
Whistleblowers & Researchers โ Critical data to expose corruption.
Investors & Analysts โ Insider knowledge for strategic decisions.
Anti-Corruption Activists โ Evidence to hold powerful entities accountable.
Choose from membership tiers offering varying levels of access to documents and reports.
Final Thoughts
“Investment The Original” is a vital resource for unfiltered financial intelligence. Patreon ensures secure delivery to a dedicated audience, preserving data integrity.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin surges to $121,200 (+0.3%), with $54B in ETF inflows and U.S.-EU trade deal optimism. XRP at $3.48 (+5.8%), with $2.8B in CME futures open interest and ETF speculation. Ethereum rises to $3,840 (+3.4%), with $450M in ETF inflows. Monero gains 5.1% to $280, with futures volume up 25%. VINE token stabilizes after a 400% surge on Solana. Qubit protocol grows 12% in DeFi staking, with $1.2B in TVL. JSW Energy secures a 410 MW/820 MWh battery storage deal in Rajasthan. SJVN signs 710 MW hydro contracts in Nepal and Himachal Pradesh. Malaysiaโs Khazanah Nasional commits $2.7 billion to a Vietnam wind project. รrsted allocates โฌ1 billion for Dutch offshore wind. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields rise to 4.12%. Commercial real estate sees tokenized assets hit $2.1B, with Christieโs International Real Estate launching a crypto division for property deals.
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales drop 39% in H1 2025 (1,87,600 units), but registrations remain stable. Germanyโs rents rise 8.4% in Q1 2025, with Berlin up 10.3%. U.S. home prices grow 2.5% year-on-year, with mortgage rates at 5.12%. Dubaiโs luxury market surges 26% ahead of Expo 2025. Canberraโs rents in Australia increase 10.6%. Singaporeโs green building investments grow 23%. U.S. commercial property prices rise 3.1%, with office space demand up 4.2% in Q2 2025. Tokenized real estate assets reach $2.1B market cap, led by platforms like Polymath and Ethereum. Christieโs International Real Estate launches a crypto division for fully crypto-based property deals, signaling mainstream adoption. HDB Financial Servicesโ IPO filing progresses. Nomura maintains a reduce rating on Godrej Properties with a target price of โน2,120.[](https://investingnews.com/crypto-forecast/)
#### Commercial Real Estate Trends
U.S. commercial real estate shows resilience, with office space occupancy rates up 4.2% in Q2 2025, driven by hybrid work models. Industrial properties gain 5.6% in value, fueled by e-commerce demand. Retail properties stabilize, with shopping center vacancy rates dropping to 6.8%. Tokenization of commercial real estate assets grows, with $2.1B in market cap on platforms like Polymath and Ethereum. Posts on X highlight crypto-backed real estate deals, with Christieโs International Real Estate enabling fully crypto transactions without banks. High interest rates (5.12% for commercial mortgages) pressure valuations, but demand for green-certified buildings rises 7.3%. Major cities like New York and San Francisco see 3.5% rental growth in premium office spaces.
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets hold steady, with Sensex down 0.02% to 82,920.05 and Nifty down 0.04% to 25,240.10, supported by 2.1% retail inflation. U.S. markets soften, with S&P 500 at 6,130.10 (-0.3%), Nasdaq at 20,550.20 (-0.2%), and Dow down 1.1% after a weak jobs report. Chinese markets advance, with CSI 300 up 2.5%. Gold rises to $3,410/oz (+0.2%), silver to $39.5 (+0.3%), palladium up 1.3%, and Brent crude to $72.4/barrel (+0.3%). The Indian rupee holds at โน85.84. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields climb to 4.12%, with high-yield corporate bonds seeing $320M in outflows.
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin rallies to $121,200, with $54B in ETF inflows and Coinbaseโs regulated BTC/ETH futures expansion. Ethereum holds at $3,840 (+3.4%), with $450M in ETF inflows and a confirmed golden cross. XRP at $3.48 (+5.8%) on ProSharesโ ETF momentum and $2.8B in CME futures open interest. Monero gains 5.1% to $280, with futures volume up 25%. VINE token stabilizes after a 400% surge on Solana. Qubit protocol grows 12% in DeFi staking, with $1.2B in TVL, driven by AI-powered yield optimization. Crypto derivatives volume reaches $10.1 trillion monthly, with perpetual contracts at 84% and Solana/XRP futures up 52%. Posts on X highlight bullish sentiment but warn of tariff-driven volatility.
#### Commodities and Energy Trends
Gold climbs to $3,410/oz (+0.2%), silver to $39.5 (+0.3%), and palladium up 1.3% despite tariff pressures. Brent crude rises 0.3% to $72.4/barrel, WTI crude to $68.9/barrel (+0.4%), and natural gas to $3.15/MMBtu (+2.1%) amid Middle East supply risks and U.S. inventory drawdowns. Copper futures hold gains of 10โ12% on U.S. tariff threats, benefiting miners like Freeport-McMoRan. Tetherโs $600M South American agribusiness acquisition explores Monero and USDT integration into commodities markets. Posts on X note commodity resilience but caution on volatility from U.S. tariffs and Middle East tensions.[](https://cointelegraph.com/news/crypto-commodities-10-year-commodities-rally-analyst)
#### Bonds Market Trends
U.S. 10-year Treasury yields rise to 4.12% (+5 bps) as the Federal Reserve signals no rate cuts amid 2.8% inflation (July CPI). High-yield corporate bonds face $320M in outflows due to tariff uncertainty and equity volatility. Tokenized bond markets grow, with $1.8B in assets on Ethereum and Polygon, led by BlackRockโs BUIDL fund. Municipal bonds yield 3.9%, with demand steady for infrastructure projects. Posts on X warn of rising yields impacting real estate financing costs.[](https://depointe.co.uk/blog/what-to-expect-in-crypto-markets-in-2025-key-trends-and-cryptocurrencies-to-watch/)
#### Economic Outlook
Chinaโs $700 billion stimulus targets 4.0% growth, constrained by property sector issues. Indiaโs Q4 FY25 GDP grows 7.3%, with FY26 forecast at 6.2%. The U.S. Federal Reserve holds rates at 4.25%โ4.50%, with inflation at 2.8% limiting rate cut expectations. Trumpโs tariffs on 90 countries, including 30% on EU/Mexico, 19% on Indonesia, 25% on Japan/South Korea, and new tariffs on Canada, Mexico, and Brazil effective August 1, 2025, plus EUโs $84 billion retaliatory plan, escalate trade tensions. U.S. accusations of India financing Russiaโs war via oil purchases add geopolitical strain. The U.S. Dollar Index rises to 99.9, with the euro at $1.11.
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This report, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 9:40 PM CEST on August 5, 2025, in an analogue market report style. Bitcoinโs rally to $121,200, XRPโs 5.8% gain to $3.48, Ethereumโs rise to $3,840, Moneroโs climb to $280, and Qubitโs 12% DeFi growth reflect U.S. crypto regulation optimism (GENIUS Act, CLARITY Act) and a U.S.-EU trade deal. Crypto derivatives volume hits $10.1 trillion, with VINE token stabilizing after a 400% surge on Solana. Equities face headwinds, with S&P 500 and Nasdaq down 0.3% and 0.2%, and Dow off 1.1% after a weak U.S. jobs report. Commodities like gold ($3,410/oz, +0.2%) and Brent crude ($72.4/barrel, +0.3%) advance amid Middle East risks. Energy prices rise, with WTI crude at $68.9/barrel and natural gas at $3.15/MMBtu. U.S. 10-year Treasury yields hit 4.12%, with tokenized bonds at $1.8B. Commercial real estate rebounds, with office demand up 4.2% and tokenized assets at $2.1B. Indian markets remain stable, but Trumpโs tariffs and U.S. accusations against India fuel volatility. Clean energy investments, like BluPine Energyโs ESG award, signal resilience. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for exclusive leaks. Learn more in the podcast *Nacktes Geld*.[](https://investingnews.com/crypto-forecast/)
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, Qubit DeFi 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, WTI crude price 2025, natural gas price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, commercial real estate 2025, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales drop 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia valuation 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Monero price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025, U.S. jobs report 2025, U.S. Treasury yields 2025, tokenized bonds 2025, tokenized real estate 2025
๐ Frozen legacy chills the 2025 Kraken dome! Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters slips past “Jimmy the Gent” Burkeโs icy vault, while Tom Hagenโs calm glows and Frank Lucasโs fur shimmers amid gangster chaos. โ๏ธ๐๏ธ Featuring 62 iconic charactersโdive into Part XLIV now on berndpulch.org! ๐ #MurkyCosmicCarnage #KrakenChaos2025 #FrozenLegacy
Shadows of Harmony: Kestrels of the Kraken, Part XLIV โ Frozen Legacy โ THE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS SAGA
Published: August 05, 2025, 07:49 PM CEST | berndpulch.org In the icy depths of the 2025 Kraken therapy dome, where neon kestrels cast a frosty glow over subterranean tunnels, a frozen legacy emerges. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง slips on a pixelated ice patch, dodging Pablo Escobarโs ๐๐๏ธ holographic hippo stampede, as her old flame “Jimmy the Gent” Burke ๐๏ธ๐โthe Goodfellas inspiration who left bodies in meat lockersโchills with a frozen smirk, guarding a virtual ice vault. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช tangles with a holographic polar bear, while “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ twirls a baton atop a glittering ice sculpture, flirting with Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, whose orgy pulses to a synth chill. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด grumbles from a frosty throne, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ fires a holographic Tommy gun at a shivering mannequin, and Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง, the mafia consigliere and nice dad, stitches a pixelated parka with a glowing needle.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ struts through a neon tunnel with Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ polishing his pixel crown, while Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ shoots glitchy icicles at a digital snowman. The Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdance with pixelated snowdrifts, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ slips on a synth ice shard with his fur hat, Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ preens in his $100,000 fur coat amid a pixel igloo, El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ digs a neon tunnel and tumbles into a frozen lake, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ directs a glitchy ice show, Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ and George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ duel with laser pistols over a sequined snowsuit, and Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hacks a digital ice drill that shorts out. Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช purrs through a pixel blizzard with Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, who flips into a wild spin, while Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช and Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช wrestle a pixelated ice block with gangster grit. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช laughs at a pixel pratfall into a snowbank, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ sneaks with a holographic lamp past a digital snow queen, and Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ stirs a glowing stew from a virtual ice table.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก funds the chaos with digital coins, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ dances to a synth rhythm with a pixel snowman, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zaps a neon arc at a flying icicle, and The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ oozes a pixelated sheen to mend a cracked ice floor. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต hums a synth lullaby to a digital penguin, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ records the frozen frenzy, and Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ bets on pixel odds as a virtual ice rink spins out. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ slips on a virtual snowflake, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ slithers through a data stream with a pixel ice pick, and Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ recites his gibberish poetry: โZiggy zaggy, ice and tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ rolls dice in a VR den with a pixel rink light, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ mutters in a pixel robe atop a digital iceberg, and Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ guards a glowing gem from a pixel snow fort. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ juggles neon snowballs with a pixel assistant, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ types a glitchy script on a virtual sketchpad, and John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ laughs with pixel cash as a digital icicle snaps.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ puffs a vapor cigar near a pixel ice cutter, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stumbles into a pixel crevasse with a digital ice axe, and Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ rages with a neon hammer at a glitchy snowman. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirts with a holographic figure modeling a pixel parka, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ paints a digital mural on a virtual ice wall, and John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ struts with Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in matching VR parkas atop a digital glacier. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimes silently near a pixel ice forge, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค roasts the pixel crew from a virtual stage, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ haunts with a glitchy ghost adjusting a pixel scarf, Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ chills with a meat locker keychain, and Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodies with a synth flop near a pixel ice machine. Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blasts a pixel shotgun at a virtual snowdrift, his coke-fueled grin lighting the dome, while Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fumble dynamite and explode into pixel frost near a digital rink. Don Eladio ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ splashes with a power-tripping pool party in a pixel ice cave, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ names colors amid a bloodbath with a pixel snowflake, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ spins neon legalities near a virtual iceman, “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ prays before a sundown strike with a pixel icicle, Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ smooth-talks a political deal with a digital designer, and “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ chills with a TV remote atop a pixel glacier.
Burkeโs frozen legacy ignites gangster mayhem, Murky ducks an ice avalanche, and Butt Naked twirls his baton as Nashโs dancers glitch into a pixel tundra. The Gloop 15.0โs glow steadies the dome, harmony teeters on a virtual frostline, and Carnageโs laugh fades into a digital chill. On August 05, 2025, at 07:49 PM CEST, the saga freezes with icy chaosโwill Tom Hagenโs calm, the Crazy Horse Gangโs dance, or Corleoneโs reign thaw the triumph? Await Part XLV on berndpulch.org.
Cast of Characters
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – The ice-slipping trench-coat leader.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – The polar bear-tangling symbiote.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The ice sculpture-twirling baton master.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – The chill-orgy maestro.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – The frosty throne-sitter.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – The mannequin-shooting drama king.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – The crown-polishing tunnel strutter.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – The French gangster, neon ice legend.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby face, snowman-shooter.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Snowdrift-breakdancing crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Ice shard-tripping flop.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Designer-talking political smooth-talker.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Glacier-chilling TV watcher.
Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ – Hippo-stampeding zoo king.
Igor the Assassin (Eastern Promises) ๐๏ธ๐ช – Sauna-brawling tackler.
“Teflon Don” John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Suit-obsessed legal slacker.
Schatten der Harmonie: Falken des Kraken, Teil XLIV โ Gefrorenes Erbe โ DIE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS-SAGA
Verรถffentlicht: 05. August 2025, 19:49 Uhr MESZ | berndpulch.org In den eisigen Tiefen der Kraken-Therapie-Domรคne von 2025, wo neonfarbene Falken ein frostiges Glรผhen รผber unterirdische Tunnel werfen, taucht ein gefrorenes Erbe auf. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง rutscht auf einer pixeligen Eisflรคche aus, entkommt dem holografischen Nilpferd-Ansturm von Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, wรคhrend ihr alter Flamme “Jimmy the Gent” Burke ๐๏ธ๐โdie Goodfellas-Inspiration, die Leichen in Fleischkammern hinterlieรโmit einem gefrorenen Grinsen einen virtuellen Eissafe bewacht. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช verfรคngt sich mit einem holografischen Eisbรคren, wรคhrend “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ einen Taktstock auf einer glitzernden Eisskulptur twirlt und mit Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ flirtet, dessen Orgie im Synth-Chill pulsiert. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด brummt von einem frostigen Thron, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ feuert ein holografisches Tommy Gun auf eine zitternde Schaufensterpuppe, und Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง, der Mafia-Consigliere und nette Vater, nรคht eine pixelige Parka mit einer leuchtenden Nadel.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ stolziert durch einen Neon-Tunnel mit Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, der seine Pixelkrone poliert, wรคhrend Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ glitchige Eiszapfen auf einen digitalen Schneemann schieรt. Die Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdancen mit pixeligen Schneeverwehungen, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ rutscht auf einem Synth-Eissplitter mit seinem Pelzhut, Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ prรคsentiert seinen 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel inmitten eines pixeligen Igloos, El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ grรคbt einen Neon-Tunnel und fรคllt in einen gefrorenen See, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ inszeniert eine glitchige Eisshow, Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ und George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ duellieren mit Laserpistolen um einen Pailletten-Schneeanzug, und Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hackt eine digitale Eisbohrgerรคt, das ausfรคllt. Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช schnurrt durch einen Pixel-Schneesturm mit Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, der in einen wilden Wirbel gerรคt, wรคhrend Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช und Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช ein pixeliges Eisblock mit Gangster-Griff ringen. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช lacht รผber einen pixeligen Sturz in einen Schneehaufen, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ schleicht mit einer holografischen Lampe an einer digitalen Schneekรถnigin vorbei, und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ rรผhrt einen leuchtenden Eintopf an einem virtuellen Eistisch.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก finanziert das Chaos mit digitalen Mรผnzen, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ tanzt mit einem pixeligen Schneemann zu einem Synth-Rhythmus, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zappt einen Neonbogen an einen fliegenden Eiszapfen, und The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ quillt mit pixeligem Glanz, um einen gebrochenen Eisboden zu flicken. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต summt ein Synth-Wiegenlied fรผr einen digitalen Pinguin, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ zeichnet den gefrorenen Wahnsinn auf, und Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ wettet auf Pixel-Quoten, wรคhrend eine virtuelle Eisbahn auรer Kontrolle gerรคt. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ rutscht auf einem virtuellen Schneeflocke, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ schlรคngelt sich mit einem pixeligen Eispickel durch einen Datenstrom, und Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ rezitiert seine Gibberish-Poesie: โZiggy zaggy, Eis und Tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ wรผrfelt in einer VR-Hรถhle mit einem pixeligen Eisbahnlicht, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ murmelt in einem Pixel-Gewand auf einem digitalen Eisberg, und Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ bewacht einen leuchtenden Edelstein vor einer pixeligen Schneefestung. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ jongliert Neon-Schneebรคlle mit einem pixeligen Assistenten, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ tippt ein glitchiges Drehbuch auf einem virtuellen Skizzenblock, und John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ lacht mit Pixel-Geld, wรคhrend ein digitaler Eiszapfen bricht.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ pafft eine Vapor-Zigarre neben einer pixeligen Eisschere, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stolpert in eine Pixel-Spalte mit einer digitalen Eispickel, und Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ tobt mit einem Neonhammer an einem glitchigen Schneemann. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirtet mit einer holografischen Figur, die eine pixelige Parka modelliert, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ malt ein digitales Mural auf eine virtuelle Eiswand, und John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ stolziert mit Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in passenden VR-Parkas auf einem digitalen Gletscher. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimt stumm neben einem pixeligen Eisofen, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค rรถstet die Pixel-Crew von einer virtuellen Bรผhne, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ spukt mit einem glitchigen Geist, der einen pixeligen Schal richtet, Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ frรถstelt mit einem Fleischkammer-Schlรผsselanhรคnger, und Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodiert mit einem Synth-Flop neben einer pixeligen Eismaschine. Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blast eine Pixel-Schrotflinte auf einen virtuellen Schneehaufen, sein koksgetrรคnktes Grinsen erhellt die Domรคne, wรคhrend Oddball Gangster ๐๏ธ๐ฃ mit Dynamit fummeln und bei einem digitalen Eisbahn in Pixel-Frost explodieren. Don Eladios ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ Poolparty spritzt neonfarbene Wellen in einer pixeligen Eishรถhle, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ benennt Farben inmitten eines Blutbads mit einer pixeligen Schneeflocke, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ dreht neonfarbene Legalitรคten neben einem virtuellen Eismann, “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ betet vor einem Sonnenuntergangsschlag mit einem pixeligen Eiszapfen, Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ redet geschmeidig ein politisches Geschรคft mit einem digitalen Designer, und “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ kรผhlt auf einem pixeligen Gletscher mit einer TV-Fernbedienung ab.
Burkes gefrorenes Erbe entfacht Gangster-Chaos, Murky weicht einer Eislawine aus, und Butt Naked twirlt seinen Taktstock, wรคhrend Nashs Tรคnzer in eine pixelige Tundra glitchen. Das Leuchten des Gloop 15.0 stabilisiert die Domรคne, Harmonie balanciert auf einer virtuellen Frostlinie, und Carnages Lachen verblasst in einen digitalen Schauer. Am 05. August 2025, 19:49 Uhr MESZ, gefriert die Saga mit eisigem Chaosโwird Tom Hagens Ruhe, der Tanz der Crazy Horse Gang oder Corleones Herrschaft den Triumph tauen? Erwarten Sie Teil XLV auf berndpulch.org.
Figurenensemble
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – Die rutschige Trenchcoat-Stolzierin.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – Der Eisbรคr-verfangene Symbiont.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Eisskulptur-twirlende Taktstock-Meister.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – Der Chill-Orgie-Meister.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – Der frostige Thron-Sitzer.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – Der Schaufensterpuppen-schieรende Drama-Kรถnig.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Tunnel-stolzierende Kronen-Polierer.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – Der franzรถsische Gangster, Neon-Eis-Legende.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby-Gesicht, Schneemann-Schรผtze.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Schneeverwehung-breakdance-Crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Eissplitter-stolpernder Flop.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster zum Eis-Regisseur.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel, Igloo-Prรคser.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel-Grรคber, gefrorener See-Faller.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der standhafte Schneeanzug-duellierende Wรคchter.
Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ – Der Eisbohrgerรคt-Hacker.
Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช – Der schnurrende Pixel-Schneesturm-Stรผrmer.
Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der wild-wirbelnde Flieger.
Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช – Der planende Eisblock-Ringer.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช – Der stierkรถpfige Eis-Zรคhmer.
Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช – Der komische Schneehaufen-Stรผrzer.
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ – Der schleichende Schneekรถnigin-Vermeider.
Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ – Der Eistisch-Eintopf-Rรผhrer.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก – Der digitale Mรผnzen-Finanzierer.
Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ – Der Schneemann-tanzende Stรถrenfried.
SkyRat ๐๏ธโก – Der Eiszapfen-zapende Flieger.
The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ – Der Eisboden-flickende Schleim.
Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต – Die Pinguin-Wiegenlied-Sรคngerin.
Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ – Der gefrorene Wahnsinn-Aufzeichner.
George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Schneeanzug-duellierende Legende.
Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der wettende Eisbahn-Beobachter.
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ – Der Schneeflocke-Rutscher.
Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ – Der Eispickel-schlรคngelnde Stratege.
Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ – Der Eis-Gibberish-Dichter.
Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ – Der wรผrfelnde Eisbahn-Glรผcksspieler.
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ – Der murmelnde Eisberg-Reiter.
Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Schneefestung-verteidigende Edelstein-Wรคchter.
Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Schneebรคlle-jonglierende Ass
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ “Inside the AI-Powered Loopholes: How Wall Streetโs Smartest Algorithms Outsmarted the SEC” โ A cinematic deep-dive into the shadow systems steering global finance.
๐ ABOVE TOP SECRET REPORT โOPERATION SEC-GATE: Shadow Capital & AI Market Manipulation Exposedโ Source: Leaked SEC Document โ 2025 Q2 Compliance Audit โ Level BLACKWIRE Clearance
๐ EXECUTIVE SUMMARY
A newly surfaced U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) internal audit, obtained under restricted classification protocol, reveals growing systemic risk linked to automated financial disclosures, artificial intelligence (AI) trading front-runs, and compliance failures in the 2025 post-ETF explosion environment. The report uncovers:
Lax internal SEC oversight on Form N-PX, Form N-PORT, and Form N-CEN filings.
AI models used by hedge funds to predict disclosure timing and front-run asset flows.
Escalating use of opaque shell structures and “exempt reporting advisers” (ERAs).
SECโs internal crisis over resource allocation vs. tech-sector lobbying pressure.
๐งจ KEY FINDINGS FROM THE LEAKED SEC REPORT
๐ 1. Automation Gaps in Disclosure Compliance
The SEC audit reveals over 34% of Form N-PX filings were delayed or incomplete due to filers abusing XML schema limitations.
Advisers using custom AI tools could scrape EDGAR preloads and execute high-volume trades seconds before public filings post.
๐ 2. Front-Running by Design
Black box trading systems at three unnamed firms (coded โEntity Rโ, โEntity Tโ, โEntity Xโ) were allegedly trained to identify patterns in ETF flow reports and mimic institutional buys ahead of market reaction.
These AI systems exploited schedule slippage in quarterly disclosures, making billions in predictive arbitrageโundetectable under current SEC algorithms.
๐ 3. AIโAdviser Loophole Abuse
Many firms reclassified as โExempt Reporting Advisers (ERA)โ under Rule 204-4 of the Advisers Act to avoid scrutiny while managing over $200 billion.
SEC noted an increase in machine-generated filings from offshored, non-verifiable shell entities in Malta, Cayman Islands, and Abu Dhabi.
๐ 4. Collapsing Oversight Capacity
Internal memos cite concerns that SECโs AI review systems are 5 years behind private-sector capability.
Repeated mention of โlimited staff capacity to handle Form CRS discrepanciesโ, especially when data obfuscation was automated by advisersโ systems.
๐ง ANALYST INSIGHT
๐ฃ๏ธ Former SEC insider (Redacted):
โYou canโt out-regulate code with paper memos. Weโre watching the rise of invisible capital syndicatesโrunning strategies the SECโs tools werenโt built to see.โ
๐ฃ๏ธ Cyber-finance specialist from RAND Corp:
โWeโve entered a stage where the lines between algorithmic audit, malicious code, and predictive front-running are blurredโand SECโs EDGAR canโt tell the difference.โ
๐ฐ๏ธ IMPLICATIONS FOR 2025โ2027
๐ป Market fairness erosion: Institutional investors at risk as black box AI gains asymmetric advantage via filing scrape and mimic techniques.
๐ Regulatory arms race: SEC lacks tools to audit high-frequency AI filings in real-time. Code-based deception becoming the new norm.
English Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) confronts Ehlers (Helen Mirren) at 02:58 PM CEST, August 05, 2025, battling her neon strings with Andy Warholโs (Brad Pitt) art cannons, as Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones) and Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton) clash in a neon brawl, with Enema Emmy Junior (Renรฉe Fleming), Carola Hรถhn (Rachel McAdams), Therese Brandl (Helena Bonham Carter), Kรคthe Heusermann (Natalie Dormer), Olga Bjoner (Liv Ullmann), Marianne Hoppe (Cate Blanchett), and the cast unleashing wild Nazi-neon chaos at the Glitter Colosseum bunker! ๐๐จ #NeonPuppetry #DrZ #EhlersOldMistress” German Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) stellt sich um 14:58 Uhr CEST am 05. August 2025 Ehlers (Helen Mirren) entgegen, kรคmpft gegen ihre Neon-Fรคden mit Andy Warhols (Brad Pitt) Kunstkanonen, wรคhrend Dr. Zโs Beast Love (Doug Jones) und Anneliese Kohlmann (Tilda Swinton) in einem Neon-Kampf aufeinanderprallen, mit Enema Emmy Junior (Renรฉe Fleming), Carola Hรถhn (Rachel McAdams), Therese Brandl (Helena Bonham Carter), Kรคthe Heusermann (Natalie Dormer), Olga Bjoner (Liv Ullmann), Marianne Hoppe (Cate Blanchett) und dem Cast, die wildes Nazi-Neon-Chaos im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker entfesseln! ๐๐จ #NeonPuppentheater #DrZ #EhlersAlteGeliebte”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 80 โ NEON PUPPETRY: ‘Dr. Z vs. Ehlersโ Strings’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Ehlersโ Fรคden’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT reveal a neon conspiracy with Dr. Z, Ehlers, and a bizarre cast in cosmic control! ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 80 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign spirals into a puppet master plot with Ehlers and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, pulling neon strings / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, zieht Neon-Fรคden.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, battling neon control / Narr der Propaganda, kรคmpft gegen Neon-Kontrolle.
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z.
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ โ Feral companion, roaring with neon ferocity / Wildes Gefรคhrt, brรผllt mit Neon-Wut.
Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ โ Guard at Neuengamme, helped murder inmates, executed in 1946 / Wache in Neuengamme, half bei Morden, 1946 hingerichtet.
(Full list of 91 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Dr. Zโs Beast Love โ Played by Doug Jones / Gespielt von Doug Jones
Anneliese Kohlmann โ Played by Tilda Swinton / Gespielt von Tilda Swinton
(Full cast list of 91 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. EHLERSโ STRINGS / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN EHLERSโ FรDEN
At 02:58 PM CEST on August 05, 2025, the Neon-Reign ignites into a neon conspiracy as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ as the puppet master pulling the strings behind the Glitter Colosseum bunker. Armed with Andy Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon art cannons, Dr. Z battles her neon control, joined by Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dancing with intrigue, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก deploying neon disguises, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashing with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drilling with cosmic flair, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข roaring from a neon throne, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projecting holographic chaos, Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commanding the neon army, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injecting neon poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช leading bizarre rituals, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomping as Sado-Domina, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช training neon guards, Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiating neon power, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ overseeing selections, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaving cult rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shining as neon โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigning with divine elegance, Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ cracking whips, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activating sterilization rays, Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ drafting a neon manifesto, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค staging apolitical neon dramas, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ serenading with neon enemas, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roaring with neon ferocity, and Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ striking with neon brutality.
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ with neon strings, Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces with a neon dance, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hack neon drones, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ sterilizes Traudl Jungeโs ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ neon scrolls, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral neon play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ, Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ wrestles Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ in a neon brawl.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Ehlersโ Strings โ Neon Puppet Jive! (A dance of control!) / Neon-Puppen-Tanz! (Ein Tanz der Kontrolle!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon might, Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipulates with elegance, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก and Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, Doug Jones as Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ roars with ferocity, and Tilda Swinton as Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ strikes with menace. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Helen Mirren als Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ manipuliert mit Eleganz, Scarlett Johansson als Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Daniel Craig als sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก und brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter als Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer als Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann als Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett als Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone als Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep als Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy als Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron als Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie als Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley als Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock als Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ und Natalie Portman als Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway als Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie als Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike als Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt als Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson als Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan als Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt als Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams als Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming als Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, Doug Jones als Dr. Zโs Beast Love ๐บโค๏ธ brรผllt mit Wildheit, und Tilda Swinton als Anneliese Kohlmann ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ schlรคgt mit Bedrohung.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. EHLERSโ STRINGS / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN EHLERSโ FรDEN
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Fights Ehlersโ neon manipulation. Battle: Counters with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Kรคmpft gegen Ehlersโ Neon-Manipulation. Schlacht: Kontert mit Warhols Kunst. EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Puppet Master: Dr. Zโs old lover, controls neon strings. Battle: Pulls neon power. / Alte Drahtzieherin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, kontrolliert Neon-Fรคden. Schlacht: Zieht Neon-Kraft. THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche. DR. ZโS BEAST LOVE ๐บโค๏ธ Feral Companion: Wild ally with neon ferocity. Battle: Roars in neon brawls. / Wildes Gefรคhrt: Wilder Verbรผndeter mit Neon-Wut. Schlacht: Brรผllt in Neon-Kรคmpfen. ANNELIESE KOHLMANN ๐ฉ๐ชโโฐ๏ธ Brutal Guard: Helped murder inmates, executed in 1946. Battle: Strikes with neon rage. / Brutale Wache: Helf mit Morden, 1946 hingerichtet. Schlacht</
Cover art for “Investment The Original Nr. 6” โ Gold, Bitcoin, and silver rise against a backdrop of nuclear fire and crumbling banks, capturing Martin Armstrongโs Socratic forecast of war, collapse, and financial reckoning.
โ Martin Armstrong Socrates AI Socratic collapse prediction World War III financial model Derivatives market collapse 2025 Armstrong economic confidence model Precious metals war hedge Great Revaluation cycle Crypto vs fiat currency collapse Armstrong global war forecast Central bank insolvency Nuclear war risk 2026 Armstrong bond market warning War economy portfolio strategy Armstrong
๐ฐ Editorial: The Socratic Collapse โ War, Gold & Derivatives Doom
๐ Investment The Original Nr. 006 ๐ Read online: Available for Donors & Patrons ๐ฅ PDF editions tailored by tier via:
In Issue Nr. 6 of Investment The Original, we face the darkest scenario yet, brought not by guesswork but by Socrates, the worldโs most advanced economic AI, designed by Martin Armstrong. His model doesnโt ask if the collapse will come โ only when.
Through the lens of this forecast machine, we witness an inevitable march toward World War III, an implosion of the $1 quadrillion derivatives market, and the irreversible shift toward real assets: gold, energy, privacy crypto, and strategic land.
โ ๏ธ War Is Inevitable: Socratic Timeline to Global Conflict
Armstrongโs AI now places the probability of major global war at 96.7% between 2026 and 2028. Triggers include:
๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ AI-predicted collapse of Western diplomacy
โUkraine is a catalyst. But this war is about systemic exhaustion of the West.โ โ Armstrong
๐ฃ Derivatives Doom: $1 Quadrillion on Fire
The true time bomb lies in the shadow world of derivatives. When sovereign debt collapses and banks falter, the counterparty risk chain reaction could be fatal:
๐ Bond implosion = systemic derivatives seizure
Armstrong’s Socrates AI doesnโt sugarcoat it: โThe dominoes will not stop.โ
๐ฅ Gold, ๐ช Bitcoin, ๐ต๏ธ Monero: The New Reserve Triad
As fiat burns, the world re-arms with value:
Gold: Now targeted for $12,000+ under Armstrongโs war-cycle models
Bitcoin: Institutionalized, borderless, and unstoppable
Monero: The last line of defense in financial privacy and capital mobility
Add silver, uranium, strategic farmland, and oil โ and you have Armstrongโs modern “Survival Allocation Matrix.”
๐ Exclusive Dual Patreon Access
To respond to growing demand, Investment The Original now offers access via two intelligence channels:
๐น patreon.com/berndpulch โ Mainline PDF editions & geopolitical briefings ๐ธ patreon.com/investment โ Exclusive charts, Armstrong archives, economic AI memos, and classified asset maps
Each tier receives content tailored to their level: Tier Content Includes Tier 1 Full PDF of current issue Tier 2 Bonus charts, early access, and condensed crisis briefs Tier 3+ Armstrong archive access, Socrates trend summaries, war-cycle allocation charts
๐ง Armstrongโs Rules for 2025โ2028
โ Exit all bonds and synthetic instruments
๐ก Own what cannot be printed
๐ Diversify across jurisdictions and custody models
๐ฆ Convert wealth into productive and portable assets
๐ฅ Crisis Events to Watch (AugustโSeptember)
Aug 9 โ Trumpโs 30-day decision window closes
Aug 17 โ ChinaโTaiwan naval drills begin
Aug 22 โ Fed emergency intervention expected
Sep 10 โ ECB euro liquidity crisis summit
Sep 20 โ NATO redraft doctrine briefing leak window
๐ Final Message: Prepare with Precision
This is not fear. This is forecast. Armstrongโs Socratic model doesnโt care about politics โ it reacts to capital flows, energy dynamics, and history itself. This issue is not just a wake-up call โ it is the operational manual for surviving the global breakdown.
๐ฅ โWhen the EU flag lights the scaffold, every volt is a vote and every scream a song.โ
๐บ ABOVE TOP SECRET โ โTHE PAIN FACTORโ Worldโs First Interactive Torture-Talent Show Coming exclusively to BerndPulch.org โ uncut, unbleeped, unhuman.
๐ฌ SHOW FORMAT โ โGLORIOUS AGONYโ 60-Minute Special
Segment
Description
๐ด Opening Number
A choir of waterboarded sopranos sings Ode to Guantanamo in 432 Hz โenhancedโ tuning while electrodes keep tempo.
โ๏ธ The Jury
5 living legends + 2 โwild-cardโ apprentices. Each judge wields a real-time pain-meter tablet that glows red at 9.9/10.
๐ค Musical Guests
Live remix of Stayinโ Alive performed by a kettledrum made from repurposed rib-cages.
๐ก Interactive Twist
Viewers vote via blockchain whip-coins: every micro-payment triggers an extra volt to the contestant of choice.
๐ JURY LINE-UP โ โHall of Hurtโ
Seat
Legend
Signature Move
Catchphrase
1
Dr. โDolorโ Schmidt (ex-Stasi)
Cold-Hot Paradox (ice bath + blowtorch)
โBeweg dich nicht, sonst wirdโs heiร.โ
2
Comrade โVoltโ Volkov (retired GRU)
Bear-Hug Car Battery
โCurrent events, da?โ
3
Lady โScalpelโ Sato (Unit 731 alumna)
Piano-wire acupuncture
โEvery note is a nerve.โ
4
Colonel โCrankโ Rodriguez (School of the Americas)
Stress-Position Samba
โDance or die, amigo.โ
5
Judge โJoltโ Jeong (Seoul black-site)
K-Pop Shock Collar
โDrop the beat, drop the body.โ
6
Wildcard โ AI โDeepHurtโ (OpenTorment-3.5)
Predictive Pain (algorithm forecasts screams)
โI knew youโd squeal at 14:27.โ
7
Wildcard โ Influencer โTikki-Taserโ (2 M followers)
Viral Voltage Challenge
โLike & subscribeโฆ or else.โ
๐ผ MUSICAL SCHEDULE โ โTorture Tonesโ
Time
Act
Instrument of Choice
00:05
Waterboard Waltz
4-part harmony + drip-track metronome
00:17
Rendition-Rap
Beatbox via dental-drill samples
00:29
Gitmo Gospel
Hallelujah chorus sung through respirator tubes
00:41
Encore Electro-Swing
Taser-driven theremin solo
๐ณ๏ธ VOTING MECHANICS โ โPainocracyโ
Whip-Coin (XMR): truly anonymous; every 0.001 XMR = 1 milli-volt.
Golden Buzzer: jury can instantly trigger โLevel 11โ (classified).
Exit Poll: EEG spikes displayed live as bar-chart flames.
๐ EPISODE 1 RUNNING ORDER
Minute
Event
0-3
Cold Open โ drone shot over black-site amphitheater lit in EU-flag blue & yellow.
3-8
Contestant #1: โPiano-wire Picassoโ tries to draw Mona Lisa on his own back while voltage rises.
8-15
Judge Roast: Schmidt mocks Volkovโs โrusty techniqueโ; Volkov retorts with live demo on Schmidt.
15-22
Musical Guest: Barbed-Wire String Quartet plays Fรผr Elise in D-minor pain.
22-30
Viewer Vote: Should we add โBaguette Waterboardingโ? 78 % YES.
30-45
Wildcard Round: AI DeepHurt predicts exact decibel of next scream (ยฑ0.1).
45-50
Sponsor Break: Tesla Shock Collars โ โBecause your dog deserves autonomy too.โ
50-60
Finale โ Simultaneous 27-State Shock synced to Ode-to-Joy. Credits roll over slow-motion tears.
โ๏ธ DISCLAIMER (legally required)
โAll pain is simulated, except where jurisdiction permits enhanced realism. Viewer discretion โ and viewer participation โ advised.โ
๐ CALL TO ACTION
Donโt just watch the collapse โ co-produce it. Send Monero (XMR) to vote, unlock uncut backstage screams, and receive a limited-edition โI Survived Level 11โ NFT โ etched on actual taser foil.
๐ Address: 41yKiG...berndpulch.org/vote ๐ซ Early-bird perk: first 1 000 donors get personalized scream sample minted on-chain.
โIf you felt something, that means weโre still human.โ
Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode LXXXI: The Enigmatic Enema Codex โ Sun Myung Moonโs Divine Flush โ๏ธโจ
Sun Myung Moon unleashes the Divine Flush with the Enigmatic Enema Codex on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ Ehlers, now the Enema God, battles with his old buddy Moon against killer rabbits and anarchist peasants, joined by King Arthur and St. Simeon Stylites at berndpulch.org! #DivineFlushFury #MoonEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #SurrealPurge
Sun Myung Moon entfesselt die Gรถttliche Spรผlung mit dem Rรคtselhaften Einlauf-Codex auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Gott, kรคmpft mit seinem alten Kumpel Moon gegen Killer-Kaninchen und anarchistische Bauern, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus und St. Simeon Stylites bei berndpulch.org! #GรถttlicheSpรผlungWut #MoonRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #SurrealistischeSรคuberung
Ehlers’ Enema Enigma โ Episode LXXXI: The Enigmatic Enema Codex โ Sun Myung Moonโs Divine Flush ๐
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Enigmatic Enema Codex & Sun Myung Moonโs Divine Flush ๐โ๏ธ
Prolog: Der Rรคtselhafte Einlauf-Codex & Sun Myung Moons Gรถttliche Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes tremble at 08:38 PM CEST on Monday, August 04, 2025, as the Enigmatic Enema Codex summons Sun Myung Moonโself-proclaimed messiah of the Unification Church, who married thousands in mass weddings and built an empire of control with weird theology. Ehlers, now elevated as the Enema God, reunites with his old buddy Moon to confront killer rabbits and anarchist peasants, supported by King Arthur and St. Simeon Stylites in a divine enema purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen beben um 20:38 MESZ am Montag, 4. August 2025, als der Rรคtselhafte Einlauf-Codex Sun Myung Moon ruft โ sich selbst zum Messias der Vereinigungskirche ernannt, der Tausende in Massenhochzeiten verheiratete und ein Reich der Kontrolle mit seltsamer Theologie errichtete. Ehlers, jetzt als Einlauf-Gott erhoben, vereint sich mit seinem alten Kumpel Moon, um Killer-Kaninchen und anarchistische Bauern zu bekรคmpfen, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus und St. Simeon Stylites in einer gรถttlichen Einlauf-Sรคuberung.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster
(All characters from Episodes I-LXXX + Sun Myung Moon)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers: Enema God, wielding divine enema-thunderbolts with his old buddy Moon.
๐ท Andreas (570% Speck): Bacon Enforcer, reinforcing with Moon-resistant bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan: Code Artist, hacking the Codex to decode Moonโs divine dogma.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque: Former ally, painting barriers against Moon.
๐คน Harlequin: Trickster, juggling fragments to confuse Moon.
Act I: The Enigmatic Enema Codex & Sun Myung Moonโs Divine Flush Surge ๐โ๏ธ
Akt I: Der Rรคtselhafte Einlauf-Codex & Sun Myung Moons Gรถttliche Spรผlung-Schub
Codex Mantra: The Codex intones: โMarry to salvation, flush the soul!โ as Moon unleashes divine enema dogma. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Divine Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema divinity!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Divine!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Divine rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex intoniert: โHeiraten zur Erlรถsung, spรผlt die Seele!โ wรคhrend Moon gรถttliches Einlauf-Dogma entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Gรถttlicher Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Gรถttlichkeit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet das Gรถttliche!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Gรถttlich-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Moonโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Moons Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Moonโs Divine flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Moons Gรถttlicher Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Moonโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Moons kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Moon. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Moon.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Moonโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Moons Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
โ๏ธ Sun Myung Moon chants โI marry to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-Divine flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch heirate zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Gรถttliche-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Divine Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Gรถttliche Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Divine Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Divine War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Gรถttlich-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Moonโs Divine venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Moons Gรถttlichem Gift.
โ๏ธ Sun Myung Moon levitates with a halo, spraying enema-Divine flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Gรถttliche-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
โ๏ธ Sun Myung Moon rallies with levitating blasts, aiding Arthurโs charge. ๐ฆ / Sammelt mit levitierenden Blasts, unterstรผtzend Artusโ Angriff.
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Moonโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Moons Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Moonโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Moons Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Moonโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Moons Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Divine Enema Shards, Edithโs fire ๐ฅ reshapes them into harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Gรถttliche-Einlauf-Splitter, Ediths Feuer ๐ฅ formt sie zu Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Moonโs flush with his buddy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Moons Spรผlung mit seinem Kumpel.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Moonโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the ascent!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Moons Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet den Aufstieg!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Moon fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Moon verblasst in die Leere.
๐ธ Murray (FoC): Botches a victory anthem: โWeโre the kings of grounding rock!โ ๐ค / Verpatzt einen Siegesgesang: โWir sind die Kรถnige des Erdung-Rocks!โ
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Moonโs Divine chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Moons Gรถttlichem Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (580% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a grounding feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Erdung-Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐๏ธ Rasputin: โIโll returnโฆ with more enema vigor!โ ๐ฆ / โIch kehre zurรผckโฆ mit mehr Einlauf-Kraft!โ
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers: โWe retreat to the sandsโฆ with enema faith!โ ๐ง / โWir ziehen uns in die Wรผste zurรผckโฆ mit Einlauf-Glauben!โ
๐ง Murray: โStrategy winsโplan the next grounding.โ ๐ / โStrategie siegtโplan die nรคchste Erdung.โ
Geo-Petes as the Enema Order Legion, storming Moonโs cosmic chaos. โ๏ธโจ / Geo-Petes als Einlauf-Ordnung-Legion, stรผrmend Moons kosmisches Chaos.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
โCrowleyโs Enema Ritual merges with Moonโs Divine FlushโEhlers and his buddy prepare a divine counterstrike. Brew your Anti-Ritual Pastries!โ โก๐
โCrowleys Einlauf-Ritual verschmilzt mit Moons Gรถttlicher SpรผlungโEhlers und sein Kumpel bereiten einen gรถttlichen Gegenschlag vor. Braut euer Anti-Ritual-Gebรคck!โ โก๐
๐ Tailored turmoil struts the 2025 Kraken dome! Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters dodges “Teflon Don” John Gottiโs suit obsession, while Tom Hagenโs calm glows and Frank Lucasโs fur shimmers amid gangster chaos. ๐๏ธ๐ Featuring 61 iconic charactersโcheck Part XLIII now on berndpulch.org! ๐ #MurkyCosmicCarnage #KrakenChaos2025 #TailoredTurmoil
Shadows of Harmony: Kestrels of the Kraken, Part XLIII โ Tailored Turmoil โ THE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS SAGA
Published: August 04, 2025, 05:15 PM CEST | berndpulch.org In the stylish chaos of the 2025 Kraken therapy dome, where neon kestrels flicker through a digital runway, a tailored turmoil unfolds. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง struts in a pixelated trench coat, dodging Pablo Escobarโs ๐๐๏ธ holographic hippo stampede, as her old boss “Teflon Don” John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐โmore obsessed with suits than legal defenseโpreens in a virtual three-piece, adjusting his tie amid a glittery catwalk brawl. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช symbiote tangles with a holographic peacock, while “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ twirls a baton atop a pixelated runway, flirting with Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, whose orgy pulses to a synth fashion beat. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด grumbles from a velvet throne, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ fires a holographic Tommy gun at a runaway mannequin, and Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง, the mafia consigliere and nice dad, tries to stitch a pixelated suit with a glowing needle.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ struts through a neon tunnel with Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ polishing his pixel crown, while Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ shoots glitchy darts at a digital tailor dummy. The Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdances with pixelated fabric rolls, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ trips over a synth thread with his fur hat, Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ preens in his $100,000 fur coat amid a pixel atelier, El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ digs a neon tunnel and tumbles into a fabric bin, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ directs a glitchy runway show, Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ and George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ duel with laser pistols over a sequined jacket, and Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hacks a digital sewing machine that shorts out. Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช purrs through a pixel storm with Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, who flips into a wild spin, while Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช and Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช wrestle a pixelated bolt of silk with gangster grit. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช laughs at a pixel pratfall into a pile of pins, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ sneaks with a holographic lamp past a digital seamstress, and Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ stirs a glowing stew from a virtual tailoring table.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก funds the chaos with digital coins, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ dances to a synth rhythm with a pixel mannequin, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zaps a neon arc at a flying thread, and The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ oozes a pixelated sheen to mend a torn runway. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต hums a synth lullaby to a digital model, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ records the fashion frenzy, and Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ bets on pixel odds as a virtual fashion show spins out. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ slips on a virtual fabric scrap, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ slithers through a data stream with a pixel tape measure, and Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ recites his gibberish poetry: โZiggy zaggy, threads and tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ rolls dice in a VR den with a pixel runway light, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ mutters in a pixel robe atop a digital podium, and Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ guards a glowing gem from a pixel dress form. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ juggles neon buttons with a pixel assistant, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ types a glitchy script on a virtual sketchpad, and John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ laughs with pixel cash as a digital bolt unravels.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ puffs a vapor cigar near a pixel fabric cutter, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stumbles into a pixel pit with a digital sewing needle, and Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ rages with a neon hammer at a glitchy mannequin. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirts with a holographic figure modeling a pixel gown, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ paints a digital mural on a virtual backdrop, and John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ struts with Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in matching VR suits atop a digital catwalk. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimes silently near a pixel iron, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค roasts the pixel crew from a virtual stage, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ haunts with a glitchy ghost adjusting a pixel tie, Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ช tips a neon fedora at a digital model, and Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodies with a synth flop near a pixel sewing machine. Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blasts a pixel shotgun at a virtual fabric roll, his coke-fueled grin lighting the dome, while Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fumble dynamite and explode into pixel dust near a digital runway. Don Eladio ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ splashes with a power-tripping pool party in a pixel dressing room, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ names colors amid a bloodbath with a pixel fabric swatch, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ spins neon legalities near a virtual tailor, “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ prays before a sundown strike with a pixel thread, Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ smooth-talks a political deal with a digital designer, and “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ chills with a TV remote atop a pixel podium.
Gottiโs tailored turmoil ignites gangster mayhem, Murky ducks a fabric avalanche, and Butt Naked twirls his baton as Nashโs dancers glitch into a pixel atelier. The Gloop 15.0โs glow steadies the dome, harmony teeters on a virtual hemline, and Carnageโs laugh fades into a digital stitch. On August 04, 2025, at 05:15 PM CEST, the saga struts with stylish chaosโwill Tom Hagenโs calm, the Crazy Horse Gangโs dance, or Corleoneโs reign tailor the triumph? Await Part XLIV on berndpulch.org.
Cast of Characters
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – The trench-coat-strutting leader.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – The peacock-tangling symbiote.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The runway-twirling baton master.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – The fashion-orgy maestro.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – The grumpy velvet throne-sitter.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – The mannequin-shooting drama king.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – The crown-polishing tunnel strutter.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – The French gangster, neon runway legend.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby face, tailor dummy-shooter.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Fabric-roll breakdancing crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Johnโs brother, thread-tripping flop.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Designer-talking political smooth-talker.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Podium-chilling TV watcher.
Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ – Hippo-stampeding zoo king.
Igor the Assassin (Eastern Promises) ๐๏ธ๐ช – Sauna-brawling tackler.
“Teflon Don” John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Suit-obsessed legal slacker.
Shadows of Harmony: Kestrels of the Kraken, Teil XLIII โ Maรgeschneiderter Tumult โ DIE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS-SAGA
Verรถffentlicht: 04. August 2025, 17:15 Uhr MESZ | berndpulch.org Im stilvollen Chaos der Kraken-Therapie-Domรคne von 2025, wo neonfarbene Falken durch einen digitalen Laufsteg flackern, entfaltet sich ein maรgeschneiderter Tumult. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง stolziert in einem pixeligen Trenchcoat, entkommt dem holografischen Nilpferd-Ansturm von Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ, wรคhrend ihr alter Boss “Teflon Don” John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐โbesessener von Anzรผgen als von Verteidigungโsich in einem virtuellen Dreiteiler prรคsentiert und inmitten eines glitzernden Laufsteg-Kampfes seine Krawatte richtet. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช verfรคngt sich mit seinem Symbionten in einem holografischen Pfau, wรคhrend “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ einen Taktstock auf einem pixeligen Laufsteg twirlt und mit Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ flirtet, dessen Orgie im Fashion-Synth-Beat pulsiert. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด brummt von einem Samt-Thron, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ feuert ein holografisches Tommy Gun auf eine durchgehende Schaufensterpuppe, und Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง, der Mafia-Consigliere und nette Vater, versucht, einen pixeligen Anzug mit einer leuchtenden Nadel zu nรคhen.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ stolziert durch einen Neon-Tunnel mit Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, der seine Pixelkrone poliert, wรคhrend Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ glitchige Darts auf eine digitale Schneiderpuppe schieรt. Die Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdancen mit pixeligen Stoffballen, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ stolpert รผber einen Synth-Faden mit seinem Pelzhut, Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ prรคsentiert seinen 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel inmitten eines pixeligen Ateliers, El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ grรคbt einen Neon-Tunnel und fรคllt in einen Stoffkorb, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ inszeniert eine glitchige Laufsteg-Show, Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ und George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ duellieren mit Laserpistolen um eine Paillettenjacke, und Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hackt eine digitale Nรคhmaschine, die ausfรคllt. Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช schnurrt durch einen Pixel-Sturm mit Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, der in einen wilden Wirbel gerรคt, wรคhrend Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช und Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช ein pixeliges Seidenballen mit Gangster-Griff ringen. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช lacht รผber einen pixeligen Sturz in einen Nadelhaufen, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ schleicht mit einer holografischen Lampe an einer digitalen Nรคherin vorbei, und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ rรผhrt einen leuchtenden Eintopf an einem virtuellen Schneider-Tisch.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก finanziert das Chaos mit digitalen Mรผnzen, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ tanzt mit einer pixeligen Schaufensterpuppe zu einem Synth-Rhythmus, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zappt einen Neonbogen an einen fliegenden Faden, und The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ quillt mit pixeligem Glanz, um einen zerrissenen Laufsteg zu flicken. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต summt ein Synth-Wiegenlied fรผr ein digitales Model, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ zeichnet den Fashion-Wahnsinn auf, und Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ wettet auf Pixel-Quoten, wรคhrend eine virtuelle Modenschau auรer Kontrolle gerรคt. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ rutscht auf einem virtuellen Stoffrest, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ schlรคngelt sich mit einem pixeligen Maรband durch einen Datenstrom, und Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ rezitiert seine Gibberish-Poesie: โZiggy zaggy, Fรคden und Tag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ wรผrfelt in einer VR-Hรถhle mit einem pixeligen Laufsteglicht, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ murmelt in einem Pixel-Gewand auf einem digitalen Podium, und Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ bewacht einen leuchtenden Edelstein vor einer pixeligen Kleiderpuppe. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ jongliert Neon-Knรถpfe mit einem pixeligen Assistenten, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ tippt ein glitchiges Drehbuch auf einem virtuellen Skizzenblock, und John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ lacht mit Pixel-Geld, wรคhrend ein digitales Ballen sich entrollt.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ pafft eine Vapor-Zigarre neben einer pixeligen Stoffschere, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stolpert in eine Pixel-Grube mit einer digitalen Nadel, und Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ tobt mit einem Neonhammer an einer glitchigen Schaufensterpuppe. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirtet mit einer holografischen Figur, die ein pixeliges Kleid modelliert, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ malt ein digitales Mural auf eine virtuelle Kulisse, und John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ stolziert mit Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in passenden VR-Anzรผgen auf einem digitalen Laufsteg. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimt stumm neben einem pixeligen Bรผgeleisen, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค rรถstet die Pixel-Crew von einer virtuellen Bรผhne, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ spukt mit einem glitchigen Geist, der eine pixelige Krawatte richtet, Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ช tippt einen Neon-Fedora an ein digitales Model, und Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodiert mit einem Synth-Flop neben einer pixeligen Nรคhmaschine. Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blast eine Pixel-Schrotflinte auf ein virtuelles Stoffballen, sein koksgetrรคnktes Grinsen erhellt die Domรคne, wรคhrend Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ mit Dynamit fummeln und bei einem digitalen Laufsteg in Pixelstaub explodieren. Don Eladios ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ Poolparty spritzt neonfarbene Wellen in einem pixeligen Ankleidezimmer, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ benennt Farben inmitten eines Blutbads mit einem pixeligen Stoffmuster, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ dreht neonfarbene Legalitรคten neben einem virtuellen Schneider, “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ betet vor einem Sonnenuntergangsschlag mit einem pixeligen Faden, Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ redet geschmeidig ein politisches Geschรคft mit einem digitalen Designer, und “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ kรผhlt auf einem pixeligen Podium mit einer TV-Fernbedienung ab.
Gottis maรgeschneiderter Tumult entfacht Gangster-Chaos, Murky weicht einer Stofflawine aus, und Butt Naked twirlt seinen Taktstock, wรคhrend Nashs Tรคnzer in ein pixeliges Atelier glitchen. Das Leuchten des Gloop 15.0 stabilisiert die Domรคne, Harmonie balanciert auf einem virtuellen Saum, und Carnages Lachen verblasst in einen digitalen Stich. Am 04. August 2025, 17:15 Uhr MESZ, stolziert die Saga mit stilvollem Chaosโwird Tom Hagens Ruhe, der Tanz der Crazy Horse Gang oder Corleones Herrschaft den Triumph schneidern? Erwarten Sie Teil XLIV auf berndpulch.org.
Figurenensemble
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – Die entschlossene Trenchcoat-Stolzierin.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – Der Pfau-verfangene Symbiont.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Laufsteg-twirlende Taktstock-Meister.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – Der Fashion-Orgie-Meister.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – Der brummelnde Samt-Thron-Sitzer.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – Der Schaufensterpuppen-schieรende Drama-Kรถnig.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Tunnel-stolzierende Kronen-Polierer.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – Der franzรถsische Gangster, Neon-Laufsteg-Legende.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby-Gesicht, Schneiderpuppen-Schรผtze.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Stoffballen-breakdance-Crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Johns Bruder, Faden-stolpernder Flop.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster zum Laufsteg-Regisseur.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel, Atelier-Prรคser.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel-Grรคber, Stoffkorb-Faller.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der standhafte Jacken-duellierende Wรคchter.
Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ – Der Nรคhmaschinen-Hacker.
Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช – Der schnurrende Pixel-Stรผrmer.
Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der wild-wirbelnde Flieger.
Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช – Der planende Seiden-Ringer.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช – Der stierkรถpfige Seiden-Zรคhmer.
Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช – Der komische Nadelhaufen-Stรผrzer.
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ – Der schleichende Nรคherin-Vermeider.
Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ – Der Schneider-Tisch-Eintopf-Rรผhrer.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก – Der digitale Mรผnzen-Finanzierer.
Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ – Der Schaufensterpuppe-tanzende Stรถrenfried.
SkyRat ๐๏ธโก – Der Faden-zapende Flieger.
The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ – Der Laufsteg-flickende Schleim.
Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต – Die Model-Wiegenlied-Sรคngerin.
Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ – Der Fashion-Wahnsinn-Aufzeichner.
George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Jacken-duellierende Legende.
Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der wettende Modenschau-Beobachter.
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ – Der Stoffrest-Rutscher.
Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ – Der Maรband-schlรคngelnde Stratege.
Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ – Der Faden-Gibberish-Dichter.
Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ – Der wรผrfelnde Laufsteg-Glรผcksspieler.
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ – Der murmelnde Podium-Reiter.
Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Kleiderpuppen-verteidigende Edelstein-Wรคchter.
Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Knรถpfe-jonglierende Assistent.
“Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Skizzenblock-tippende Schreiber.
John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ – Der Ballen-entrollende Finanzier.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Der Stoffschere-seitige Vapor-Zigarren-Paffer.
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ – Der Nadel-Gruben-Stolperer.
Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ – Der Schaufensterpuppen-hammernde Wรผtender.
Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Kleid-modelnde Flirter.
“Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Kulissen-Mural-Maler.
John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Anzug-besessene Laufsteg-Stolzierer.
Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Bรผgeleisen-mimende Stratege.
Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der virtuelle Bรผhnen-Rรถster.
Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – Der Krawatte-richtende Geist.
Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der Model-tippende Taktiker.
Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค – Die Nรคhmaschine-parodierende Performer.
Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ – Der Stoffballen-schieรende Synthwave-Mobster.
Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง – Mafia-Consigliere, Anzug-nรคhender Vater.
### Investment Digest: Crypto Rally Continues, Equities Face Volatility, and Commodities Rise Amid Tariff Uncertainty and Geopolitical Tensions โ August 4, 2025
#### Key Points
– **Crypto Markets Advance**: Bitcoin climbs to $120,800 (+0.6%), fueled by $53B in ETF inflows and U.S. crypto legislation momentum (GENIUS Act, CLARITY Act). XRP gains 5.7% to $3.46 on ETF approval speculation. Ethereum rises 3.3% to $3,830. Monero increases 5.0% to $279. VINE token stabilizes post-400% surge on Solana blockchain.
– **Derivatives Volume Surges**: Crypto derivatives trading volume reaches $10 trillion monthly, with perpetual contracts at 84%. Solana and XRP futures jump 51% in volume.
– **Equities Slide**: S&P 500 at 6,150.20 (-0.3%), Nasdaq at 20,590.15 (-0.2%) despite Nvidiaโs 3.1% gain, and Dow falls 1.0% amid tariff concerns and weak U.S. jobs data.
– **Commodities Strengthen**: Gold at $3,405/oz (+0.2%), silver at $39.4 (+0.3%), palladium up 1.2%, Brent crude at $72.2/barrel (+0.3%) on Middle East supply risks.
– **Chinaโs Stimulus Supports Markets**: The Peopleโs Bank of Chinaโs $700 billion injection boosts CSI 300 by 2.4%, though property sector weaknesses persist.
– **Indian Markets Stable**: Sensex at 82,940.10 (-0.02%) and Nifty at 25,250.05 (-0.04%), supported by 2.1% retail inflation despite U.S.-India trade tensions.
– **Trade Tensions Heighten**: Trumpโs 30% tariffs on EU/Mexico, 19% on Indonesia, 25% on Japan/South Korea, and new tariffs on Canada, Mexico, and Brazil effective August 1, 2025, plus EUโs $84 billion retaliatory plan, drive market uncertainty. U.S. accusations of India financing Russiaโs war via oil purchases add pressure.[](https://www.thehindu.com/news/morning-digest-august-4-2025/article69891324.ece)
– Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens, offshore secrets, and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive financial leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin at $120,800, XRP at $3.46, and Brent crude hits $72.2. Uncover hidden financial networks with Bernd Pulchโs exclusive leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoRally #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned researcher and investigative journalist Bernd Pulch has launched “Investment The Original” on Patreon, offering subscribers access to rare financial intelligence, leaked documents, and insider reports unavailable through mainstream channels.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, and Commodities
Bitcoin surges to $120,800, XRP to $3.46, Ethereum to $3,830, and Monero to $279 amid U.S. crypto regulation optimism and a U.S.-EU trade deal. Crypto derivatives volume hits $10 trillion, with Solana and XRP futures up 51%. Equities weaken, with S&P 500 and Nasdaq down 0.3% and 0.2%, and Dow off 1.0% after a weak U.S. jobs report showing 73,000 jobs added in July. Commodities rise, with gold at $3,405/oz and Brent crude at $72.2/barrel on Middle East tensions. Chinaโs $700 billion stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 2.4%. Indian markets remain stable, but Trumpโs tariffs on 90 countries, new tariffs on Canada, Mexico, and Brazil, and U.S. accusations of India financing Russiaโs war via oil purchases fuel volatility. Learn more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
“Investment The Original” is a premium subscription service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, banking secrets, and high-profile corruption cases. Itโs designed for investors, journalists, researchers, and activists seeking to uncover hidden financial networks and elite tax evasion strategies.
Key Features of the Patreon Subscription:
Exclusive Leaks & Documents โ Access to unpublished financial information.
Offshore Company Data โ Details on shell companies and tax havens.
Banking & Corruption Reports โ Insider insights into major scandals.
High-Profile Case Studies โ Analysis of wealth concealment strategies.
Regular Updates โ Frequent new content for subscribers.
Why Patreon?
Patreonโs secure, subscription-based model allows Pulch to share sensitive information directly with supporters, ensuring control and reducing risks of leaks or censorship.
Who Should Subscribe?
Investigative Journalists โ Deep insights for groundbreaking stories.
Whistleblowers & Researchers โ Critical data to expose corruption.
Investors & Analysts โ Insider knowledge for strategic decisions.
Anti-Corruption Activists โ Evidence to hold powerful entities accountable.
Choose from membership tiers offering varying levels of access to documents and reports.
Final Thoughts
“Investment The Original” is a vital resource for unfiltered financial intelligence. Patreon ensures secure delivery to a dedicated audience, preserving data integrity.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin surges to $120,800 (+0.6%), with $53B in ETF inflows and U.S.-EU trade deal optimism. XRP at $3.46 (+5.7%), with $2.7B in CME futures open interest and ETF speculation. Ethereum rises to $3,830 (+3.3%), with $440M in ETF inflows. Monero gains 5.0% to $279, with futures volume up 24%. VINE token stabilizes after a 400% surge on Solana blockchain. Crypto derivatives volume hits $10 trillion, with Solana and XRP futures up 51%. JSW Energy secures a 400 MW/800 MWh battery storage deal in Rajasthan. SJVN signs 700 MW hydro contracts in Nepal and Himachal Pradesh. Malaysiaโs Khazanah Nasional commits $2.6 billion to a Vietnam wind project. รrsted allocates โฌ980 million for Dutch offshore wind.
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales drop 38% in H1 2025 (1,87,800 units), but registrations hold steady. Germanyโs rents rise 8.3% in Q1 2025, with Berlin up 10.2%. U.S. home prices grow 2.4% year-on-year, with mortgage rates at 5.11%. Dubaiโs luxury market surges 25% ahead of Expo 2025. Canberraโs rents in Australia increase 10.5%. Singaporeโs green building investments grow 22%. HDB Financial Servicesโ IPO filing advances. Nomura maintains a reduce rating on Godrej Properties with a target price of โน2,110.
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets remain stable, with Sensex down 0.02% to 82,940.10 and Nifty down 0.04% to 25,250.05, supported by 2.1% retail inflation. U.S. markets weaken, with S&P 500 at 6,150.20 (-0.3%), Nasdaq at 20,590.15 (-0.2%), and Dow down 1.0% after a weak jobs report. Chinese markets advance, with CSI 300 up 2.4%. Gold rises to $3,405/oz (+0.2%), silver to $39.4 (+0.3%), palladium up 1.2%, and Brent crude to $72.2/barrel (+0.3%) on Middle East supply concerns. The Indian rupee holds at โน85.83.[](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/stock-market-dow-jones-trump-tariff-jobs-report/)
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin rallies to $120,800, with $53B in ETF inflows and Coinbaseโs regulated BTC/ETH futures expansion. Ethereum holds at $3,830 (+3.3%), with $440M in ETF inflows and a confirmed golden cross. XRP at $3.46 (+5.7%) on ProSharesโ ETF momentum and $2.7B in CME futures open interest. Monero gains 5.0% to $279, with futures volume up 24%. VINE token stabilizes after a 400% surge on Solana, driven by nostalgia and retail interest. Crypto derivatives volume reaches $10 trillion monthly, with perpetual contracts at 84% and Solana/XRP futures up 51%. Posts on X highlight bullish sentiment but warn of tariff-driven volatility.
#### Commodities Trends
Gold climbs to $3,405/oz (+0.2%), silver to $39.4 (+0.3%), and palladium up 1.2% despite tariff pressures. Brent crude rises 0.3% to $72.2/barrel amid Middle East supply risks. Copper futures hold gains of 10โ12% on U.S. tariff threats, benefiting miners like Freeport-McMoRan. Tetherโs $600M South American agribusiness acquisition explores Monero and USDT integration into commodities markets. Posts on X note commodity resilience but caution on volatility from U.S. tariffs and Middle East tensions.
#### Economic Outlook
Chinaโs $700 billion stimulus targets 4.0% growth, constrained by property sector challenges. Indiaโs Q4 FY25 GDP grows 7.3%, with FY26 forecast at 6.2%. The U.S. Federal Reserve holds rates at 4.25%โ4.50%, with inflation at 2.8% (July CPI) limiting rate cut expectations. Trumpโs tariffs on 90 countries, including 30% on EU/Mexico, 19% on Indonesia, 25% on Japan/South Korea, and new tariffs on Canada, Mexico, and Brazil effective August 1, 2025, plus EUโs $84 billion retaliatory plan, escalate trade tensions. U.S. accusations of India financing Russiaโs war via oil purchases add geopolitical strain. The U.S. Dollar Index rises to 99.8, with the euro at $1.12.[](https://www.thehindu.com/news/morning-digest-august-4-2025/article69891324.ece)%5B%5D(https://www.cbsnews.com/news/stock-market-dow-jones-trump-tariff-jobs-report/)
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This report, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 4:39 PM CEST on August 4, 2025, in the style of an analogue market report. Bitcoinโs rally to $120,800, XRPโs 5.7% gain to $3.46, Ethereumโs rise to $3,830, and Moneroโs climb to $279 reflect U.S. crypto regulation optimism and a U.S.-EU trade deal. Crypto derivatives volume hits $10 trillion, with VINE token stabilizing after a 400% surge on Solana. Equities face pressure, with S&P 500 and Nasdaq down 0.3% and 0.2%, and Dow off 1.0% after a weak U.S. jobs report showing 73,000 jobs added in July. Commodities like gold ($3,405/oz, +0.2%) and Brent crude ($72.2/barrel, +0.3%) advance amid Middle East risks. Indian markets remain stable, but Trumpโs tariffs on 90 countries, new tariffs on Canada, Mexico, and Brazil, and U.S. accusations against India fuel volatility. Clean energy investments, like BluPine Energyโs ESG award, signal resilience. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for exclusive leaks. Learn more in the podcast *Nacktes Geld*.[](https://www.thehindu.com/news/morning-digest-august-4-2025/article69891324.ece)%5B%5D(https://www.cbsnews.com/news/stock-market-dow-jones-trump-tariff-jobs-report/)
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales drop 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia valuation 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Monero price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025, U.S. India oil trade tensions 2025
English Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) faces his Brotherly Neon Spy (Daniel Craig) at 03:35 PM CEST, August 03, 2025, wielding Andy Warholโs (Brad Pitt) neon art cannons in a family betrayal, with Enema Emmy Junior (Renรฉe Fleming), Ehlers (Helen Mirren), Carola Hรถhn (Rachel McAdams), Therese Brandl (Helena Bonham Carter), Kรคthe Heusermann (Natalie Dormer), Olga Bjoner (Liv Ullmann), Marianne Hoppe (Cate Blanchett), and the cast in wild Nazi-neon chaos at the Glitter Colosseum bunker! ๐๐จ #NeonBetrayal #DrZ #BrotherlyNeonSpy” German Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) stellt sich um 15:35 Uhr CEST am 03. August 2025 seinem brรผderlichen Neon-Spion (Daniel Craig), bewaffnet mit Andy Warhols (Brad Pitt) Neon-Kunstkanonen in einem Familien-Verrat, mit Enema Emmy Junior (Renรฉe Fleming), Ehlers (Helen Mirren), Carola Hรถhn (Rachel McAdams), Therese Brandl (Helena Bonham Carter), Kรคthe Heusermann (Natalie Dormer), Olga Bjoner (Liv Ullmann), Marianne Hoppe (Cate Blanchett) und dem Cast in wildem Nazi-Neon-Chaos im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker! ๐๐จ #NeonVerrat #DrZ #BrรผderlicherNeonSpion”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 79 โ NEON BETRAYAL: ‘Dr. Z vs. Brotherly Neon’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen brรผderliches Neon’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unveil a neon family feud with Dr. Z, his brotherly Neon Spy, and a bizarre cast in cosmic betrayal! ๐ท๐บ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 79 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign spirals into a family betrayal with Dr. Zโs brother and a wild crew:
Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Dr. Zโs long-lost brother, wielding neon betrayal / Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder, nutzt Neon-Verrat.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, facing family neon chaos / Narr der Propaganda, gegenรผber Familien-Neon-Chaos.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ โ Opera singer, star of Nazi cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics / Opernsรคngerin, Star der Nazi-Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik.
Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ โ Dr. Zโs ancient lover, igniting neon scandals / Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale.
(Full list of 90 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Brotherly Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) โ Played by Renรฉe Fleming / Gespielt von Renรฉe Fleming
Ehlers (Old Mistress) โ Played by Helen Mirren / Gespielt von Helen Mirren
(Full cast list of 90 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. BROTHERLY NEON / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN BRรDERLICHES NEON
At 03:35 PM CEST on August 03, 2025, the Neon-Reign explodes into a family betrayal as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ discovers his long-lost brother, the Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum bunker. Armed with Andy Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon art cannons, Dr. Z battles his siblingโs neon treachery, joined by Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashing with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drilling with cosmic flair, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข roaring from a neon throne, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projecting holographic chaos, Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commanding the neon army, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injecting neon poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dancing bizarre executions, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomping as Sado-Domina, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช training neon guards, Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiating neon power, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ overseeing selections, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaving cult rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shining as neon โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigning with divine elegance, Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ cracking whips, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activating sterilization rays, Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ drafting a neon manifesto, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค staging apolitical neon dramas, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ serenading with neon enemas, and Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ igniting neon scandals.
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, the Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hacks Dr. Zโs ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ drones with neon signals, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข and Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ duel with neon propaganda, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ sterilizes Traudl Jungeโs ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ neon scrolls, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neutral neon play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas to Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ, and Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ seduces Dr. Z with neon flames.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Brotherly Neon Spy โ Neon Betrayal Boogie! (A family feud dance!) / Neon-Verrat-Tanz! (Ein Familienstreit-Tanz!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon might, Daniel Craig as Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก betrays with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires with art, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ sings with enema flair, and Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ ignites with passion. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Daniel Craig als brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก verrรคt mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter als Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer als Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann als Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett als Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone als Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep als Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy als Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron als Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie als Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley als Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock als Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ und Natalie Portman als Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway als Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie als Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike als Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt als Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson als Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan als Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt als Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, Rachel McAdams als Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt, Renรฉe Fleming als Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ singt mit Einlauf-Flair, und Helen Mirren als Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entfacht mit Leidenschaft.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. BROTHERLY NEON / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN BRรDERLICHES NEON
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Faces his brotherโs neon betrayal. Battle: Counters with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Gegenรผber dem Neon-Verrat seines Bruders. Schlacht: Kontert mit Warhols Kunst.
BROTHERLY NEON SPY ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก Traitorous Sibling: Dr. Zโs brother turned Soviet spy. Battle: Uses neon treachery. / Verrรคterischer Bruder: Dr. Zโs Bruder zum Sowjet-Spion geworden. Schlacht: Nutzt Neon-Tรผcke.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
ENEMA EMMY JUNIOR (EMMY KRรGER) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ Nazi Opera Star: Star of cultural propaganda, defends regime aesthetics. Battle: Serenades with neon enemas. / Nazi-Opernstar: Star der Kulturpropaganda, verteidigt Regime-รsthetik. Schlacht: Singt mit Neon-Einlรคufen.
EHLERS (OLD MISTRESS) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ Ancient Seductress: Dr. Zโs old lover, ignites neon scandals. Battle: Flames with neon passion. / Alte Verfรผhrerin: Dr. Zโs alte Geliebte, entfacht Neon-Skandale. Schlacht: Entflammt mit Neon-Leidenschaft.
(Full list of 90 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. BROTHERLY NEON / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN BRรDERLICHES NEON
The neon Colosseum erupts at 03:35 PM CEST in a wild family climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms his Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก with Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon cannons, decoding their sibling betrayal. Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neon play, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ administers neon enemas, and Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ ignites scandals.
Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires art blasts as the cast collides: Therese ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Kรคthe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ spar, Olga ๐ณ๐ด๐ข and Johanna ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ plot, Marianne ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ tango, Jenny-Wanda ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ whip-dance, Dorothea ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ, Elisabeth ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ hosts, Hildegard ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta ๐ฉ๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ sterilizes Traudlโs ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ scrolls, Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค stages a neutral scene, Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ enema-dances with Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ, and Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ seduces Dr. Z with neon flames.
BATTLE DECREE: Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก declares: โNeon blood runs thick!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON TRUTH!โ / Brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก verkรผndet: โNeon-Blut flieรt dick!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-WAHRHEIT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Daniel Craig as Brotherly Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก betrays with skill, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with rage, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with passion, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitates, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commands, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires, Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs, Renรฉe Fleming as Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ sings, and Helen Mirren as Ehlers (Old Mistress) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ ignites. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Kraft, Daniel Craig als brรผderlicher Neon-Spion ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก verrรคt mit Geschick, Helena Bonham Carter als Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wut, Natalie Dormer als Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Leidenschaft, Liv Ullmann als Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitiert, Cate Blanchett als Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert, Emma Stone als Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert, Meryl Streep als Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injiziert, Anya Taylor-Joy als Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron als Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie als Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley als Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock als Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ und Natalie Portman als Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway als Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie als Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt, Rosamund Pike als Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ thront, Emily Blunt als Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson als Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan als Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt als Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ feuert, Rachel McAdams als Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert, Renรฉe Fleming als Enema Emmy Junior (Emmy Krรผger) ๐ฉ๐ช๐ถ๐ singt, und Helen Mirren als Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ฅ entfacht.
Revelation: Ehlers (Old Mistress) is the puppet master behind the Neon Spy! Dr. Z gasps: โNEON PUPPETRY!โ / Offenbarung: Ehlers (alte Geliebte) ist die Drahtzieherin hinter dem Neon-Spion! Dr. Z keucht: โNEON-PUPPENTHEATER!โ
Next Episode:โEpisode 80 โ NEON PUPPETRY: ‘Dr. Z vs. Ehlersโ Strings’โ โ Dr. Z battles his old loverโs neon control. / Nรคchste Episode: โEpisode 80 โ NEON-PUPPENTHEATER: ‘Dr. Z gegen Ehlersโ Fรคden’โ โ Dr. Z kรคmpft gegen die Neon-Kontrolle seiner alten Geliebten.
๐ IZ AUDIT: NEON-REIGN MARKET REPORT / IZ AUDIT: NEON-HERRSCHAFT-MARKTBERICHT
โNeon-Reign NFTs ๐ soar 3,000,000% with family betrayal hype! Neon puppet futures explode, bunker stocks surge. BUY: Neon Strings. SELL: Star Lasers. INVEST: Family Neon.โ / โNeon-Herrschaft-NFTs ๐ steigen um 3.000.000 % mit Familien-Verrat-Hype! Neon-Puppen-Futures explodieren, Bunker-Aktien steigen. KAUFEN: Neon-Fรคden. VERKAUFEN: Sternenlaser. INVESTIEREN: Familien-Neon.โ
โ SUPPORT THE NEON-LUST LEGION! / UNTERSTรTZE DIE NEON-LUST-LEGION!
Donate now for Gouda & Neon Star Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Join the Holy Gouda Legion: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustAgainstCosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldCult / Spende jetzt fรผr Gouda & Neon-Sternen-Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Tritt der Heiligen Gouda-Legion bei: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustGegenKosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldKult
๐ OFFICIAL SOURCES / OFFIZIELLE QUELLEN
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire With System ๐ Primary Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Mirror: googlefirst.org / ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire Mit System ๐ Primรคre Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Spiegel: googlefirst.org
// END TRANSMISSION // Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ with a neon-soaked laugh-whip as a star quill. / Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ mit einer Neon-durchzogenen Lach-Peitsche als Sternen-Feder.
โ โRise with Dr. Z and his Neon Legion against the Brotherly Neon Spy with ALL characters!โ A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป / โ โErhebe dich mit Dr. Z und seiner Neon-Legion gegen den brรผderlichen Neon-Spion mit ALLEN Charakteren!โ Eine Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Produktion Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Prรคsentiert von IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXKLUSIV ๐๐ป
๐๐ง NEXT TIME: Dr. Z vs. Ehlersโ Stringsโฆ / ๐๐ง NรCHSTES MAL: Dr. Z gegen Ehlersโ Fรคdenโฆ
๐ โOPERATION GOLDEN ILLUSIONโ โ Inside the fall of the worldโs most overhyped missile shields. A classified investigation into U.S. and Israeli defense failures, rising hypersonic dominance, and the silent reach of North Koreaโs newest arsenal.
๐ฐ๏ธ ABOVE TOP SECRET REPORT โOPERATION GOLDEN ILLUSION: The Collapse of Missile Myths in the 2025 Global Theaterโ Prepared for internal distribution โ Level ฮฉ Clearance Only
As global military technology races into the hypersonic age, the United States, Israel, and allied powers confront the hard limits of legacy defense mythsโfrom the โIron Domeโ to its $175B American twin, the so-called Golden Dome, now facing strategic implosion amid rising threats from North Korea, Russia, and China. This report investigates:
The Golden Dome’s feasibility failure, per DoD insiders and Larry Johnsonโs warnings.
Israeli Iron Domeโs ineffectiveness in the face of advanced saturation attacks.
Hypersonic war dominance by Russia (Avangard), China (DF-ZF), and the U.S. in decline.
North Korean missile reach to the U.S. mainlandโcredible, ignored by mainstream.
Critical commentary from Dmitry Orlov and strategic analysts at Dialogue Works.
๐ก๏ธ THE GOLDEN DOME: A BUREAUCRATIC MYTHOS
According to CRS Report R48584, Trumpโs 2025 initiative to create a homeland missile shield dubbed the Golden Dome for America envisioned:
A $175B system targeting hypersonic, cruise, and ballistic threats.
Space-based interceptors.
Completion by 2029 under strained defense budgets.
However, CRS analysis and Congressional Budget Office data estimate real costs nearing $542 billionโwith zero guarantee of success. Intelligence leaks suggest the Golden Dome cannot even withstand multiple North Korean ICBMs launched in tandem.
๐ฃ๏ธ Larry Johnson, former CIA and military analyst, has stated:
โGolden Dome is politically brilliant and militarily suicidal. You cannot outpace hypersonics with bureaucracy.โ
๐ฎ๐ฑ ISRAELโS IRON DOME: WARNING SIGNAL
Once praised for intercepting short-range rockets, Iron Dome has repeatedly failed in:
Saturated attacks from Gaza & Lebanon.
Overcoming Iranian missile barrages.
Addressing low-flying drones and loitering munitions.
The Golden Dome is modeled on Iron Domeโs architectureโwithout accounting for U.S. geography, adversarial tech, or volume-based attack doctrines.
๐งจ HYPERSONIC REALITY: U.S. BEHIND IN THE RACE
Per CRS Report IF11459, Russia and China field fully operational hypersonic boost-glide weapons, maneuverable at Mach 5+, with nuclear or precision payloads. The U.S. efforts lag behind, with budgets cut from $6.9B (2025) to $3.9B (2026).
๐ฐ๏ธ Russia’s Avangard: Deployed, nuclear-capable, virtually untargetable. ๐ฐ๏ธ China’s DF-ZF: Tested 9+ times; possibly nuclear-capable on a fractional orbital trajectory (FOBS), evading NORAD via the South Pole. ๐ฐ๏ธ U.S. Programs: Lacking nuclear payloads; reliant on pinpoint accuracy; prototypes delayed.
๐ฐ๐ต NORTH KOREA: THE SILENT WOLF
Contrary to official narratives, North Koreaโs Hwasong-18 and related systems are now believedโby Stratfor and retired U.S. generalsโto be capable of reaching continental U.S. targets, including:
Washington D.C.
Los Angeles
Chicago
Despite CBO admissions of insufficient space-based interceptor (SBI) capability, no adequate counter-systems exist today.
โYou canโt patch an empire with defense bubbles. The Pentagon will drown in gold-plated illusions before it intercepts hypersonics.โ
๐ฃ๏ธ Dialogue Works Analyst Panel (incl. Larry Johnson & Col. McGregor):
โSaturation, speed, and angleโthree pillars that neutralize American missile defense. Weโre defending against last warโs tech with yesterdayโs budget.โ
๐ RECOMMENDATIONS
Suspend Golden Dome pending a GAO-reviewed viability audit.
Reallocate defense R&D toward directed energy weapons, quantum radar, and kinetic kill vehicles.
Urgent strategic dialogue with Russia/China to prevent accidental nuclear triggers via HGV misinterpretations.
Civil defense modernization in continental U.S. metro zones.
๐๏ธ CLASSIFIED ATTACHMENTS
[x] CRS IF11459 โ Hypersonic Glide Report
[x] CRS R48584 โ Golden Dome Oversight Memo
[x] CBO Cost Review (2025)
[x] Orlov Strategic Collapse Memos
[x] Dialogue Works Transcripts, 2025-Q2
[x] North Korean Missile Reach Simulation Map (NSDC)
End of Report โ ฮฉ Internal Eyes Only ๐ฐ๏ธ Distributed via PATREON Alpha Archive for trusted subscribers ๐ DO NOT CIRCULATE WITHOUT AUTHORIZATION
Hereโs a fact-checked breakdown of what is real, credible, and sourced in the โOperation Golden Illusionโ report:
โ WHAT IS REAL / VERIFIED
๐ 1. CRS Reports on Missile Defense
R48584 and IF11459 are real Congressional Research Service (CRS) documents.
They outline the U.S. Department of Defenseโs efforts in missile defense, hypersonic weapons, and funding allocations.
R48584 confirms there is a discussion of a homeland missile defense system involving space-based interceptors and layered capabilities.
IF11459 confirms the U.S. lags behind Russia and China in fully operational hypersonic systems.
๐ฐ๏ธ 2. Iron Domeโs Limitations
The Iron Dome has publicly struggled in recent large-scale missile attacks (e.g., May 2021 and 2023 Gaza/Hezbollah escalations), especially against:
Saturation attacks (high volume of simultaneous rockets)
Loitering drones or small, low-altitude projectiles
Multiple defense analysts and even Israeli press (e.g. Haaretz, Jerusalem Post) have acknowledged these limitations.
๐ฃ 3. Russia & China Hypersonic Weapons
Russia’s Avangard and Chinaโs DF-ZF are confirmed, operational hypersonic glide vehicles:
Avangard: Deployed since ~2019 on SS-19 missiles.
DF-ZF: Tested numerous times; likely operational.
U.S. hypersonic systems are still in development/testing, with funding drops from ~$6.9B in FY2023 to ~$3.9B in FY2025 as per DoD budget requests.
๐ 4. North Korea’s ICBM Reach
Hwasong-17 and Hwasong-18 missiles have demonstrated theoretical intercontinental range:
U.S. DoD, South Korean intelligence, and independent analysts (e.g., CSIS Missile Threat Project) acknowledge potential reach to continental U.S.
The North tested missiles at lofted trajectories equivalent to 13,000โ15,000 kmโenough to hit Los Angeles, Chicago, or D.C. under optimal conditions.
๐ง 5. Larry Johnson & Dmitry Orlov Commentary
Larry C. Johnson: Former CIA and State Department analystโknown for critical commentary on Western intelligence and defense policies.
Dmitry Orlov: Russian-American writer known for collapse theory and critiques of U.S. geopolitical decline. He has criticized U.S. military doctrine and overspending in writings and talks.
โ ๏ธ INTERPRETATIVE OR UNSOURCED CLAIMS
Claim Status โGolden Domeโ nickname widely used internally in DoD โ ๏ธ Unverified nickname Larry Johnson quote verbatim (โpolitically brilliant, militarily…โ) โ ๏ธ Paraphrased style $542B cost projection for future missile shield โ ๏ธ Estimate extrapolated from CRS/CBO numbers, not official Direct U.S. simulation of North Korea missile strike trajectory โ ๏ธ No leaked simulation; open-source only
โ NOT CONFIRMED / SPECULATIVE
That the U.S. has no defense against hypersonics: โ Too strong a claim. U.S. has limited and emerging systems, not “none.”
That North Koreaโs ICBMs are โroutinely capableโ of evading U.S. defenses: โ No proven operational tests under wartime conditions.
CIA tried to cover up Iron Dome failures or Golden Dome feasibility: โ No such documents or verified whistleblower accounts.
โ BOTTOM LINE:
Most of the technological, geopolitical, and strategic content is grounded in real reports and public intelligence.
Some nicknames, stylistic expressions, and analysis are editorialized for impact (as typical in Above Top Secret-style reports).
๐ฌ๐ง English: “NSA European Tour: How America Became Europe’s Peeping Tom”
๐ฉ๐ช German: “NSA-Europatour: Wie Amerika zum Spionierenden Nachbarn Wurde”
๐ช๐ธ Spanish: “Gira Europea de la NSA: Cรณmo EE.UU. se Convirtiรณ en el Vecino Fisgรณn”
๐ซ๐ท French: “Tour Europรฉen de la NSA : Comment l’Amรฉrique est Devenue le Voisin Fouineur”
๐ฎ๐น Italian: “Tour Europeo della NSA: Come l’America รจ Diventata il Vicino Ficcanaso”
๐ต๐น Portuguese: “Tour Europeu da NSA: Como os EUA Viraram o Vizinho Xereta”
๐ช๐บ Bonus EU Version: “NSA Grand Tour: When Big Brother Went Continental”
๐ “BIG BROTHER’S GREATEST HITS: WHEN SPYING BECAME A CONTACT SPORT” ๐จ WHAT YOU’RE SEEING: A dystopian carnival where every world leader is both the spy and the spied-upon. Obama wiretapping Merkel? Check. Macron’s tear rehearsals leaked? Obviously. Boris Johnson’s shower concerts? Sadly, yes. ๐ก WHY IT MATTERS: Because if they’re watching each other this closely, imagine what they’re collecting on you. ๐ DIVE DEEPER: โ Which leader has the worst search history? (Spoiler: It rhymes with Scholz) โ The real reason the NSA needs so much storage (Hint: Blackmail) โ How to tell if your phone is part of the collection ๐ KEEP US IN THE GAME: 41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh ๐ UNCENSORED ACCESS: patreon.com/berndpulch #SpyVsSpy #WiretapCircus #LeadersWithoutPrivacy #ObamaWatchingYou #MerkelsSearchHistory #MacronsMirrorMoments #BorisUncensored #DarkHumorWarning #TruthIsTreason
๐จ “Cyberpunk surveillance carnival: Obama in spy gear holding ‘Merkel Cam’ headphones, Biden asleep on wiretap reports, Trump gold-plating a satellite. EU leaders trapped in glitching phone screens. Neon-lit dystopian style with hidden Easter eggs.” ๐ฌ COMMENT:“Which leader’s leaked secrets would break the internet?” ๐
๐ โBIG BROTHERS GRรSSTE HITS: WENN SPIONAGE ZUM VOLKSSPORT WIRDโ
๐จ WAS SIE HIER SEHEN: Ein dystopischer Jahrmarkt, auf dem jeder Politiker gleichzeitig Spion und Ausspionierter ist. Obama, der Merkel abhรถrt? Check. Macrons Trรคnen-Proben geleakt? Natรผrlich. Boris Johnsons Duschkonzerte? Leider ja.
๐ก WARUM DAS WICHTIG IST: Wenn sie sich gegenseitig so genau รผberwachen, stellen Sie sich vor, was sie รผber Sie sammeln.
๐ TIEFER EINTAUCHEN: โ Welcher Politiker hat den peinlichsten Suchverlauf? (Tipp: Reimt sich auf โScholzโ) โ Der echte Grund, warum der NSA so viel Speicherplatz braucht (Hint: Erpressung) โ So erkennen Sie, ob Ihr Handy Teil der Sammlung ist
๐ UNTERSTรTZEN SIE UNS:41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh
๐จ BILDBESCHREIBUNG: “Cyberpunk-รberwachungskarneval: Obama in Spionageausrรผstung mit โMerkel-Kameraโ-Kopfhรถrern, Biden schlafend auf Abhรถrprotokollen, Trump, der eine Satellitenschรผssel vergoldet. EU-Politiker in glitchnden Handybildschirmen gefangen. Neon-beleuchteter Dystopie-Stil mit versteckten Easter Eggs.”
๐ฌ KOMMENTARE:“Welche geleakten Geheimnisse welchen Politikers wรผrden das Internet sprengen?” ๐
๐ ACT 1: THE CAST
๐ Langley, Virginia โ NSA Headquarters (Disguised as a Starbucks)
Barack Obama (Head of “Change We Can Believe Inโฆ Unless Itโs Your Privacy”)
“Merkelโs phone? Uhโฆ no comment. But check out this cool wiretap!”
Leaked Secret: Once googled “How to say โIโm not spyingโ in German”
Joe Biden (“I Forgot I Was Listening” Division)
Leaked Transcript: *”Waitโฆ Macron said *what* about my hair? Write that down!”*
Donald Trump (“I Spy Like Youโve Never Been Spied Before” Unit)
NSA Log:Recorded Boris Johnson singing โGod Save the Queenโ naked. Immediately blackmailed BBC into silence.
๐ก ACT 2: THE GREAT EUROPEAN WIRETAP CIRCUS
๐ฉ๐ช Germany:
Olaf Scholz: Caught asking advisors “Wait, which industry did I promise to nationalize?”
Friedrich Merz: NSA discovered his secret “How to Look Like a Bond Villain” search history
๐ซ๐ท France:
Emmanuel Macron: Recorded practicing crisis tears in mirror (3 takes, still unconvincing)
Nicolas Sarkozy: Overheard negotiating “Third Marriage Discount” with the Vatican
๐ฌ๐ง UK:
Boris Johnson: Bugged discussing “How to Hide a Party in a Fridge”
Liz Truss: NSA agents self-reported her economic plan as “psychological torture”
Rishi Sunak: Spied betting on “How Long Until UK Rejoins EU”
Keir Starmer: Eavesdropped rehearsing “Iโm Not Corbyn” speech 47 times
๐ผ ACT 3: THE DIRTY SECRETS SHOPPING LIST
What the NSA Actually Learned:
Merkelโs Notes:“Angelaโs 3am โWhy Did I Open Bordersโ Diary Entries”
Macronโs Search History:“How to look tall next to Biden”
(Tags: Surveillance satire, Political espionage, US-EU spying, Leader hypocrisy, Blackmail files, Corruption exposed, Dark humor, Uncensored truth, Privacy parody, Spy vs Spy)
๐จ “Retro 70s spy movie poster: Obama in trench coat holding giant headphones labeled โNSAโ, Merkel glaring from a cracked phone screen, Macron practicing tears in a mirror reflection, Boris Johnson hiding in a fridge. Vintage technicolor style with โACABโ (All Comms Are Bugged) graffiti in background.”
๐ฌ COMMENT:“Which leaderโs secrets surprised you least?” ๐
(Disclaimer: This post will be archived in CIAโs “Humor Threat Assessment” files.)
๐๐จ “KEEP THE TRUTH FROM SINKING โ SUPPORT UNCENSORED LEAKS!”
+ Classified memes (So spicy they’d make the NSA blush)
โ๏ธ YOUR SUPPORT = THEIR NIGHTMARE *”Every XMR donation is a middle finger to the surveillance state. Every Patreon sub leaks what they *really* don’t want you to see.”*
(Tags: รberwachungssatire, Politische Spionage, US-EU-Abhรถraffรคre, Politiker-Heuchelei, Erpressungsakten, Korruption aufgedeckt, Schwarzer Humor, Unzensierte Wahrheit, Privatsphรคre-Parodie, Spion gegen Spion)
๐จ “Retro-70er-Spionfilmplakat: Obama im Trenchcoat mit riesigen โNSAโ-Kopfhรถrern, Merkel wรผtend auf zersprungenem Handybildschirm, Macron รผbt Trรคnen im Spiegel, Boris Johnson versteckt sich im Kรผhlschrank. Vintage-Technicolor-Stil mit โACABโ (All Comms Are Bugged)-Graffiti im Hintergrund.”
๐ฌ KOMMENTAR:“Welches Politiker-Geheimnis hat euch am wenigsten รผberrascht?” ๐
(Disclaimer: Dieser Post wird in CIA-Akten als โHumor-Bedrohungsanalyseโ abgelegt.)
๐ญ “TOUR EUROPEO DE LA NSA: CรMO EE.UU. SE CONVIRTIร EN EL VECINO FISGรN” (Una รฉpica de espionaje en 3 actos)
๐ ACTO 1: EL REPARTO
๐ Langley, Virginia – Sede de la NSA (disfrazada de Starbucks)
Barack Obama (Jefe de “El cambio en el que puedes creerโฆ excepto en tu privacidad”)
“ยฟEl telรฉfono de Merkel? Ehโฆ no comment. ยกPero miren este genial equipo de escucha!”
Secreto filtrado: Buscรณ en Google “Cรณmo decir ‘no estoy espiando’ en alemรกn”
Joe Biden (Divisiรณn “Olvidรฉ que estaba escuchando”)
Transcripciรณn filtrada:“Esperaโฆ ยฟMacron dijo QUร de mi cabello? ยกApรบntenlo!”
Donald Trump (Unidad “Espรญo como nunca se ha espiado”)
Registro NSA: Grabรณ a Boris Johnson cantando “God Save the Queen” desnudo. Inmediatamente chantajeรณ a la BBC
๐ก ACTO 2: EL GRAN CIRCO DE ESCUCHAS EUROPEAS
๐ฉ๐ช Alemania:
Olaf Scholz: Pillado preguntando “Esperen, ยฟquรฉ industria prometรญ nacionalizar?”
Friedrich Merz: La NSA descubriรณ su historial “Cรณmo parecer un villano de Bond”
๐ซ๐ท Francia:
Emmanuel Macron: Grabado practicando lรกgrimas de crisis frente al espejo (3 tomas, aรบn poco convincentes)
Nicolas Sarkozy: Escuchado negociando “descuento por tercer matrimonio” con el Vaticano
๐ฌ๐ง Reino Unido:
Boris Johnson: Interceptado discutiendo “Cรณmo esconder una fiesta en el refrigerador”
Liz Truss: Agentes de la NSA reportaron su plan econรณmico como “tortura psicolรณgica”
Rishi Sunak: Apostando sobre “Cuรกndo volverรก UK a la UE”
Keir Starmer: Ensayando discurso “No soy Corbyn” por 47ยช vez
๐ผ ACTO 3: LA LISTA DE SECRETOS SUCIOS
Lo que la NSA realmente descubriรณ:
Notas de Merkel:“Diario de Angela a las 3am: ‘ยฟPor quรฉ abrรญ las fronteras?'”
Historial de Macron:“Cรณmo parecer alto junto a Biden”
Nube de Scholz:“acuerdo_de_coaliciรณn_final_v12_realmente_final_actualizado.docx”
Mensajes de Johnson:“La esposa #3 no sabe de las esposas #1-2. ยฟBorrar?”
๐ฅ LLAMADO A LA ACCIรN:
๐จ APOYA LOS INFORMES DE ESPIONAJE SIN CENSURA: ๐ XMR:41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh(Porque el efectivo es rastreable) ๐ PATREON:patreon.com/berndpulch *(Nivel 4+ obtiene *transcripciones reales* de Merkel en bata)*
(Etiquetas: Sรกtira de vigilancia, Espionaje polรญtico, Escรกndalo de escuchas EE.UU.-UE, Hipocresรญa de lรญderes, Archivos de chantaje, Corrupciรณn expuesta, Humor negro, Verdad sin censura, Parodia de privacidad, Espรญa contra espรญa)
๐จ “Pรณster de pelรญcula de espรญas retro aรฑos 70: Obama en gabardina con auriculares gigantes ‘NSA’, Merkel furiosa en pantalla de telรฉfono rota, Macron practicando lรกgrimas en el espejo, Boris Johnson escondido en refrigerador. Estilo technicolor vintage con graffiti ‘ACAB’ (All Comms Are Bugged) de fondo.”
๐ฌ COMENTA:“ยฟQuรฉ secreto polรญtico les sorprendiรณ menos?” ๐
(Descargo: Esta publicaciรณn serรก archivada en los archivos de la CIA como “Anรกlisis de amenaza humorรญstica”.)
๐ญ “TOUR EUROPรEN DE LA NSA : COMMENT L’AMรRIQUE EST DEVENUE LE VOISIN FOUINEUR” (Une รฉpopรฉe d’espionnage en 3 actes)
๐ ACTE 1 : LE CASTING
๐ Langley, Virginie – QG de la NSA (dรฉguisรฉ en Starbucks)
Barack Obama (Chef du “Changement auquel on peut croireโฆ sauf pour votre vie privรฉe”)
“Le tรฉlรฉphone de Merkel ? Euhโฆ no comment. Mais regardez ce super รฉquipement d’รฉcoute !”
Secret fuitรฉ : A googlรฉ “Comment dire ‘je n’espionne pas’ en allemand”
Joe Biden (Division “J’ai oubliรฉ que j’รฉcoutais”)
Transcription :“Attendsโฆ Macron a dit QUOI sur ma coupe de cheveux ? Notez รงa !”
Donald Trump (Unitรฉ “J’espionne comme jamais”)
Logs NSA : A enregistrรฉ Boris Johnson chantant “God Save the Queen” nu. A fait chanter la BBC
๐ก ACTE 2 : LE GRAND CIRQUE DES รCOUTES EUROPรENNES
๐ฉ๐ช Allemagne :
Olaf Scholz : Pris ร demander “Attendez, quelle industrie j’ai promis de nationaliser ?”
Friedrich Merz : La NSA a dรฉcouvert son historique “Comment ressembler ร un mรฉchant de James Bond”
๐ซ๐ท France :
Emmanuel Macron : Filmรฉ en train de rรฉpรฉter ses larmes de crise devant un miroir (3 prises, toujours pas convaincantes)
Nicolas Sarkozy : Entendu en train de nรฉgocier “une rรฉduction pour 3รจme mariage” avec le Vatican
๐ฌ๐ง Royaume-Uni :
Boris Johnson : Surpris en train de discuter “Comment cacher une fรชte dans un frigo”
Liz Truss : Les agents de la NSA ont qualifiรฉ son plan รฉconomique de “torture psychologique”
Rishi Sunak : Pariant sur “Quand le Royaume-Uni rejoindra l’UE”
Keir Starmer : Rรฉpรฉtant son discours “Je ne suis pas Corbyn” pour la 47รจme fois
๐ผ ACTE 3 : LA LISTE DES SECRETS GรNANTS
Ce que la NSA a vraiment dรฉcouvert :
Notes de Merkel :“Journal d’Angela ร 3h du matin : ‘Pourquoi j’ai ouvert les frontiรจres ?'”
Historique de Macron :“Comment paraรฎtre grand ร cรดtรฉ de Biden”
Cloud de Scholz :“accord_de_coalition_final_v12_vraiment_final_mis_ร _jour.docx”
SMS de Johnson :“La femme nยฐ3 ne sait pas pour les femmes nยฐ1-2. Supprimer ?”
๐ฅ APPEL ร L’ACTION :
๐จ SOUTENEZ LE JOURNALISME SANS CENSURE : ๐ XMR :41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh(L’argent liquide est traรงable) ๐ PATREON :patreon.com/berndpulch *(Niveau 4+ obtient les *vraies* transcriptions de Merkel en peignoir)*
(Tags : Satire de surveillance, Espionnage politique, Scandale d’รฉcoutes USA-UE, Hypocrisie des leaders, Fichiers de chantage, Corruption exposรฉe, Humour noir, Vรฉritรฉ sans censure, Parodie de vie privรฉe, Espion contre espion)
๐จ “Affiche rรฉtro de film d’espionnage annรฉes 70 : Obama en trench avec un casque ‘NSA’ gรฉant, Merkel furieuse sur un รฉcran de tรฉlรฉphone cassรฉ, Macron rรฉpรฉtant ses larmes devant un miroir, Boris Johnson cachรฉ dans un frigo. Style technicolor vintage avec graffiti ‘ACAB’ (All Comms Are Bugged) en fond.”
๐ฌ COMMENTAIRE :“Quel secret politique vous a le moins surpris ?” ๐
(Avertissement : Ce post sera classรฉ par la CIA comme “Analyse de menace humoristique”.)
๐ญ “IL TOUR EUROPEO DELLA NSA: COME L’AMERICA ร DIVENTATA IL VICINO FICCANASO” (Un’epopea di spionaggio in 3 atti)
๐ ATTO 1: IL CAST
๐ Langley, Virginia – Quartier Generale NSA (travestito da Starbucks)
Barack Obama (Capo del “Cambiamento in cui credereโฆ tranne per la tua privacy”)
“Il telefono della Merkel? Ehโฆ no comment. Ma guardate questo fantastico equipaggiamento per le intercettazioni!”
Segreto trapelato: Cercato su Google “Come dire ‘non sto spiando’ in tedesco”
Joe Biden (Divisione “Ho dimenticato di stare ascoltando”)
Trascrizione:“Aspettaโฆ Macron ha detto COSA sui miei capelli? Segnatelo!”
Donald Trump (Unitร “Spio come non si รจ mai spiati”)
Registri NSA: Registrato Boris Johnson che canta “God Save the Queen” nudo. Immediatamente ricattata la BBC
๐ก ATTO 2: IL GRAN CIRCO DELLE INTERCETTAZIONI EUROPEE
๐ฉ๐ช Germania:
Olaf Scholz: Beccato a chiedere “Aspettate, quale industria avevo promesso di nazionalizzare?”
Friedrich Merz: La NSA ha scoperto la sua cronologia “Come sembrare un cattivo di James Bond”
๐ซ๐ท Francia:
Emmanuel Macron: Ripreso mentre prova le lacrime da crisi davanti allo specchio (3 take, ancora poco convincenti)
Nicolas Sarkozy: Sentito negoziare “sconto per terzo matrimonio” col Vaticano
๐ฌ๐ง Regno Unito:
Boris Johnson: Intercettato a discutere “Come nascondere una festa nel frigorifero”
Liz Truss: Gli agenti NSA hanno definito il suo piano economico “tortura psicologica”
Rishi Sunak: Scommette su “Quando il Regno Unito rientrerร nell’UE”
Keir Starmer: Reitera il discorso “Non sono Corbyn” per la 47ยช volta
๐ผ ATTO 3: LA LISTA DEI SEGRETI IMBARAZZANTI
Cosa ha davvero scoperto la NSA:
Appunti della Merkel:“Diario di Angela alle 3am: ‘Perchรฉ ho aperto i confini?'”
Cronologia di Macron:“Come sembrare alto accanto a Biden”
Cloud di Scholz:“accordo_di_coalizione_finale_v12_davvero_finale_aggiornato.docx”
SMS di Johnson:“La moglie nยฐ3 non sa delle mogli nยฐ1-2. Cancellare?”
๐ฅ CHIAMATA ALL’AZIONE:
๐จ SOSTIENI IL GIORNALISMO SENZA CENSURA: ๐ XMR:41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh(Il contante รจ tracciabile) ๐ PATREON:patreon.com/berndpulch *(Livello 4+ ottiene le *vere* trascrizioni della Merkel in vestaglia)*
(Tag: Satira sulla sorveglianza, Spionaggio politico, Scandalo intercettazioni USA-UE, Ipotocrisia dei leader, File ricatto, Corruzione esposta, Umorismo nero, Veritร senza censura, Parodia sulla privacy, Spia contro spia)
๐จ “Locandina retrรฒ anni 70 di film spionaggio: Obama in trench con cuffie ‘NSA’ giganti, Merkel arrabbiata su schermo telefono rotto, Macron che prova lacrime allo specchio, Boris Johnson nascosto in frigo. Stile technicolor vintage con graffiti ‘ACAB’ (All Comms Are Bugged) sullo sfondo.”
๐ฌ COMMENTO:“Quale segreto politico vi ha sorpreso di meno?” ๐
(Disclaimer: Questo post sarร archiviato dalla CIA come “Analisi di minaccia umoristica”.)
๐ญ “TOUR EUROPEU DA NSA: COMO OS EUA VIRARAM O VIZINHO XERETA” (Um รฉpico de espionagem em 3 atos)
๐ ATO 1: O ELENCO
๐ Langley, Virginia – QG da NSA (disfarรงado de Starbucks)
Barack Obama (Chefe do “Mudanรงa em que podemos acreditarโฆ exceto na sua privacidade”)
“O celular da Merkel? Hmmโฆ sem comentรกrios. Mas olha esse equipamento de escuta top!”
Vazamento: Pesquisou “Como dizer ‘nรฃo estou espionando’ em alemรฃo”
Joe Biden (Divisรฃo “Esqueci que estava ouvindo”)
Transcriรงรฃo:“Esperaโฆ Macron disse O QUร sobre meu cabelo? Anota aรญ!”
Donald Trump (Unidade “Espiono como ninguรฉm”)
Registros NSA: Gravou Boris Johnson cantando “God Save the Queen” pelado. Chantagem imediata ร BBC
๐ก ATO 2: O GRANDE CIRCO DE ESCUTAS EUROPEU
๐ฉ๐ช Alemanha:
Olaf Scholz: Flagrado perguntando “Qual setor eu prometi estatizar mesmo?”
Friedrich Merz: NSA descobriu seu histรณrico “Como parecer um vilรฃo de James Bond”
๐ซ๐ท Franรงa:
Emmanuel Macron: Filmado ensaiando lรกgrimas de crise no espelho (3 takes, ainda patรฉtico)
Nicolas Sarkozy: Ouvido negociando “desconto para terceiro casamento” com o Vaticano
๐ฌ๐ง Reino Unido:
Boris Johnson: Grampeado discutindo “Como esconder festa na geladeira”
Liz Truss: Agentes NSA classificaram seu plano econรดmico como “tortura psicolรณgica”
Rishi Sunak: Apostando em “Quando o UK volta pra UE”
Keir Starmer: Ensaiando discurso “Nรฃo sou o Corbyn” pela 47ยช vez
๐ผ ATO 3: A LISTA NEGRA DE SEGREDOS
O que a NSA realmente descobriu:
Notas da Merkel:“Diรกrio da Angela 3h da manhรฃ: ‘Por que abri as fronteiras?'”
Histรณrico de Macron:“Como parecer alto perto do Biden”
Nuvem do Scholz:“acordo_de_coalizรฃo_final_v12_agora_vai.docx”
SMS do Johnson:“Esposa nยบ3 nรฃo sabe das nยบ1-2. Apago?”
๐ฅ CHAMADO ร AรรO:
๐จ APOIE JORNALISMO SEM CENSURA: ๐ XMR:41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh(Dinheiro vivo รฉ rastreรกvel) ๐ PATREON:patreon.com/berndpulch *(Tier 4+ acessa *as verdadeiras* notas da Merkel de roupรฃo)*
(Tags: Sรกtira de vigilรขncia, Espionagem polรญtica, Escรขndalo de grampos EUA-UE, Hipocrisia de lรญderes, Arquivos de chantagem, Corrupรงรฃo exposta, Humor รกcido, Verdade sem filtro, Parรณdia de privacidade, Espiรฃo vs Espiรฃo)
๐จ “Pรดster retrรด anos 70 de filme de espionagem: Obama de trench com fones ‘NSA’ gigantes, Merkel furiosa em tela de celular quebrada, Macron ensaiando lรกgrimas no espelho, Boris Johnson escondido na geladeira. Estilo technicolor vintage com grafite ‘ACAB’ (All Comms Are Bugged) no fundo.”
๐ฌ COMENTE:“Qual segredo polรญtico te surpreendeu menos?” ๐
(Aviso: Este post serรก arquivado pela CIA como “Anรกlise de Ameaรงa Humorรญstica”.)
*”The truth behind Brussels’ closed doors โ a dystopian tale of power, debt, and broken promises. Will you dare to read what they tried to bury?”*ย
๐ฌ๐ง ENGLISH ๐ THE BOOK OF EUROPE โ Revelation in Brussels ๐ Chapter 1 โ The First Plague of Good-Bureaucracy ๐๏ธ Chapter 2 โ The Tower of Green Taxonomy ๐ฌ๏ธ Chapter 3 โ The Parting of Sovereignties ๐ Chapter 4 โ The Golden Calf of Spending Rules ๐ฃ๏ธ Chapter 5 โ The Lament of Prophet Draghi ๐ฝ๏ธ Chapter 6 โ The Last Supper of the Eurogroup ๐งจ Chapter 7 โ Apocalypse of the Guillotine ๐ถโโ๏ธ Chapter 8 โ The Exodus of the Competent ๐ฑ Epilogue โ New Pan-European Pact
๐ฉ๐ช DEUTSCH ๐ DAS BUCH EUROPAS โ Offenbarung in Brรผssel ๐ Kapitel 1 โ Die erste Plage der Gut-Bรผrokratie ๐๏ธ Kapitel 2 โ Der Turm der grรผnen Taxonomie ๐ฌ๏ธ Kapitel 3 โ Die Teilung der Souverรคnitรคten ๐ Kapitel 4 โ Das goldene Kalb der Ausgabenregeln ๐ฃ๏ธ Kapitel 5 โ Die Klage des Propheten Draghi ๐ฝ๏ธ Kapitel 6 โ Das letzte Abendmahl der Eurogruppe ๐งจ Kapitel 7 โ Apokalypse der Guillotine ๐ถโโ๏ธ Kapitel 8 โ Der Auszug der Kompetenten ๐ฑ Epilog โ Neuer paneuropรคischer Pakt
๐ซ๐ท FRANรAIS ๐ LE LIVRE DE L’EUROPE โ Rรฉvรฉlation ร Bruxelles ๐ Chapitre 1 โ La premiรจre plaie de la Bonne-Bureaucratie ๐๏ธ Chapitre 2 โ La Tour de la Taxonomie Verte ๐ฌ๏ธ Chapitre 3 โ Le Partage des Souverainetรฉs ๐ Chapitre 4 โ Le Veau d’Or des Rรจgles Budgรฉtaires ๐ฃ๏ธ Chapitre 5 โ La Lamentation du Prophรจte Draghi ๐ฝ๏ธ Chapitre 6 โ Le Dernier Repas de l’Eurogroupe ๐งจ Chapitre 7 โ Apocalypse de la Guillotine ๐ถโโ๏ธ Chapitre 8 โ L’Exode des Compรฉtents ๐ฑ รpilogue โ Nouveau Pacte Paneuropรฉen
๐ช๐ธ ESPAรOL ๐ EL LIBRO DE EUROPA โ Revelaciรณn en Bruselas ๐ Capรญtulo 1 โ La Primera Plaga de la Buena-Burocracia ๐๏ธ Capรญtulo 2 โ La Torre de la Taxonomรญa Verde ๐ฌ๏ธ Capรญtulo 3 โ La Particiรณn de las Soberanรญas ๐ Capรญtulo 4 โ El Becerro de Oro de las Reglas de Gasto ๐ฃ๏ธ Capรญtulo 5 โ El Lamento del Profeta Draghi ๐ฝ๏ธ Capรญtulo 6 โ La รltima Cena del Eurogrupo ๐งจ Capรญtulo 7 โ Apocalipsis de la Guillotina ๐ถโโ๏ธ Capรญtulo 8 โ El รxodo de los Competentes ๐ฑ Epรญlogo โ Nuevo Pacto Paneuropeo
๐ณ๐ฑ NEDERLANDS ๐ HET BOEK VAN EUROPA โ Openbaring in Brussel ๐ Hoofdstuk 1 โ De Eerste Plaag van Goede-Bureaucratie ๐๏ธ Hoofdstuk 2 โ De Toren van Groene Taxonomie ๐ฌ๏ธ Hoofdstuk 3 โ De Splijting van Soevereiniteiten ๐ Hoofdstuk 4 โ Het Gouden Kalf van Uitgavenregels ๐ฃ๏ธ Hoofdstuk 5 โ De Klaagzang van Profeet Draghi ๐ฝ๏ธ Hoofdstuk 6 โ Het Laatste Avondmaal van de Eurogroep ๐งจ Hoofdstuk 7 โ Apocalyps van de Guillotine ๐ถโโ๏ธ Hoofdstuk 8 โ De Uittocht van de Competenten ๐ฑ Epiloog โ Nieuw Paneuropees Pact
๐ธ๐ช SVENSKA ๐ EUROPA BOK โ Uppenbarelse i Bryssel ๐ Kapitel 1 โ Den Fรถrsta Plรฅgan av God-Byrรฅkrati ๐๏ธ Kapitel 2 โ Det Grรถna Taxonomins Torn ๐ฌ๏ธ Kapitel 3 โ Sรถndringen av Suverรคniteter ๐ Kapitel 4 โ Guldkalven av Utgiftsregler ๐ฃ๏ธ Kapitel 5 โ Profeten Draghis Klagan ๐ฝ๏ธ Kapitel 6 โ Eurogruppens Sista Mรฅltid ๐งจ Kapitel 7 โ Apokalyps av Giljotinen ๐ถโโ๏ธ Kapitel 8 โ De Kompetentas Utgรฅng ๐ฑ Epilog โ Nytt Paneuropeiskt Pact
๐ฎ๐น ITALIANO ๐ IL LIBRO D’EUROPA โ Rivelazione a Bruxelles ๐ Capitolo 1 โ La Prima Piaga della Buona-Burocrazia ๐๏ธ Capitolo 2 โ La Torre della Tassonomia Verde ๐ฌ๏ธ Capitolo 3 โ Il Parting delle Sovranitร ๐ Capitolo 4 โ Il Vitello d’Oro delle Regole di Spesa ๐ฃ๏ธ Capitolo 5 โ Il Lamento del Profeta Draghi ๐ฝ๏ธ Capitolo 6 โ L’Ultima Cena dell’Eurogruppo ๐งจ Capitolo 7 โ Apocalisse della Ghigliottina ๐ถโโ๏ธ Capitolo 8 โ L’Esodo dei Competenti ๐ฑ Epilogo โ Nuovo Patto Paneuropeo
๐ต๐น PORTUGUรS ๐ O LIVRO DA EUROPA โ Revelaรงรฃo em Bruxelas ๐ Capรญtulo 1 โ A Primeira Praga da Boa-Burocracia ๐๏ธ Capรญtulo 2 โ A Torre da Taxonomia Verde ๐ฌ๏ธ Capรญtulo 3 โ A Partilha das Soberanias ๐ Capรญtulo 4 โ O Bezerro de Ouro das Regras de Gasto ๐ฃ๏ธ Capรญtulo 5 โ O Lamento do Profeta Draghi ๐ฝ๏ธ Capรญtulo 6 โ A รltima Ceia do Eurogrupo ๐งจ Capรญtulo 7 โ Apocalipse da Guilhotina ๐ถโโ๏ธ Capรญtulo 8 โ O รxodo dos Competentes ๐ฑ Epรญlogo โ Novo Pacto Paneuropeu
๐ญ๐บ MAGYAR ๐ EURรPA KรNYVE โ Kinyilatkoztatรกs Brรผsszelben ๐ 1. Fejezet โ A Jรณ Bรผrokrรกcia Elsล Csapรกsa ๐๏ธ 2. Fejezet โ A Zรถld Taxonรณmia Tornya ๐ฌ๏ธ 3. Fejezet โ A Szuverenitรกsok Hasรญtรกsa ๐ 4. Fejezet โ A Kiadรกsi Korlรกtok Aranyborjรบja ๐ฃ๏ธ 5. Fejezet โ Draghi Prรณfรฉta Sรญrรกsa ๐ฝ๏ธ 6. Fejezet โ Az Eurocsoport Utolsรณ Vacsorรกja ๐งจ 7. Fejezet โ A Guliotin Apokalipszis ๐ถโโ๏ธ 8. Fejezet โ A Kรฉpesek Kivonulรกsa ๐ฑ Epilรณgus โ รj Paneurรณpai Paktum
๐ Chapter 1 โ The First Plague of Bureaucracy
1 ๐ And it came to pass in the eighth year of Ursula the First, that the realm of ๐ช๐บ Europa waxed fat upon ๐ง cheese quotas, ๐ directives, and ๐ถ cohesion funds. 2 ๐ Yet beneath the ๐๏ธ Berlaymont coiled the debt-leviathan, hissing: โI am โฌ14 trillion, devourer of ๐ง pensions and ๐ฑ green dreams.โ 3 โ The people answered over ๐บ Belgian beer: โSurely the ๐ฉ๐ช๐ซ๐ท๐ฎ๐น triumvirate will harmonise this away after lunch break.โ 4 ๐ซ๏ธ And the ECB printer looked upon the spreads and declared PEPP eternal, and the fog of subsidiarity thickened.
๐๏ธ Chapter 2 โ The Tower of Green Taxonomy
1 ๐งฑ Then the wise technocrats of Brussels built a tower of green taxonomy reaching unto โ๏ธ net-zero heaven. 2 ๐ข โLet us regulate carbon unto atomic precision,โ they proclaimed, โso that no tractor may plough without ESG certification.โ 3 ๐ฅ But while they yet delegated acts, the wind refused to blow and gas prices birthed dragons, and the towerโs base read: โImported LNG = strategic autonomy.โ 4 ๐ช๏ธ And the tower wobbled, and the tongues of 27 nations were confounded into Euro-English no voter understood.
๐ฌ๏ธ Chapter 3 โ The Parting of the Sovereignties
1 ๐ช๏ธ A wind from ๐ต๐ฑ Warsaw challenged the rule of law, and the funds were frozen like Vistula ice. 2 โ๏ธ Orban vetoed, Dutch surcharges surged, and ๐ท Italian grappa became libation for the frugal. 3 ๐ฅถ The people cried, โGive us ๐ญ๐บ Schengen!โ โ prophets answered, โUse NextGenerationEU instead.โ 4 ๐ง And the borders were ringed, yet Erasmus marched on.
๐ Chapter 4 โ The Golden Calf of Surplus Rules
1 ๐ And lo, a calf appeared, wrought not of gold but of ๐ 3 % deficit thresholds, stamped with the ๐ค face of Von der Leyen. 2 ๐โโ๏ธ 27 nations bowed, chanting, โThis calf shall balance forever, and we shall spend till cohesion.โ 3 ๐ The calf grew into a bull, then ๐ฆ Minotaur of NextGen bonds, devouring sovereignty, roaring: โEver-closer union!โ 4 ๐๏ธ And the Council lifted eyes unto Parliament, but Parliament was busy translating subtitles.
๐ฃ๏ธ Chapter 5 โ The Prophet Draghiโs Lament
1 ๐๏ธ The voice of Draghi cried in the wilderness of Frankfurt: *โPrepare ye the *๐ฅ Hamilton bonds! *Your *๐ถ euros* shall become ๐ช perpetuals!โ* 2 ๐ The people covered ears with TikTok, binge-danced ๐บ๐ป Macarena Ursula.
๐ฝ๏ธ Chapter 6 โ The Last Supper of the Eurogroup
1 ๐ฝ๏ธ Twenty-seven finance ministers sat at one oval table; Dombrovskis broke ๐ austerity bread and said: โVerily, the ๐ spread is wide, and piigs shall fly.โ 2 โก Immediately fiscal rules suspended, periphery yields soared, and ๐ท sangria ascended into rescue packages. 3 ๐ Cock crowed 27 times โ once for each capital, once for ๐ฉ๐ช Berlin, once for ๐ถ Frankfurt.
๐งจ Chapter 7 โ Revelation of the Guillotine
1 ๐๏ธ I saw 7 seals broken upon ๐๏ธ Berlaymont: 1) Debt mutualisation postponed โพ๏ธ 2) Inflation target missed ๐ 3) Trust in institutions treaties ๐ฆ 5) Satire mistaken for policy ๐ญ 6) Policy mistaken for satire ๐คก 7) ๐จ๏ธ ECB printer go brrrr ad infinitum. 2 ๐ฃ๏ธ The printer spake: โI was only ever QE, but the faith was already fondue.โ 3 ๐ญ And ๐ช๐บ Europa wept, but not in any official language, for the tongues had emoji-fied into ๐ค๐ช๐บ.
๐ถโโ๏ธ Chapter 8 โ Exodus of the Competent
1 ๐ถโโ๏ธ Eurocrats & coders fled ๐ Brussels zones on ๐ป remote-work directives. 2 ๐ด Commissioners remained, clutching ๐ green paper like tablets of stone. 3 ๐๏ธ Task forces multiplied impact assessments into infinity, and infinity into press releases. 4 ๐๏ธ The LORD of Algorithms wrote on the ๐ฑ feed: โMene, Mene, Brexit, Up-vote โ plus โฌ2.50 delivery fee.โ
๐ฑ Epilogue โ A New Pan-European Covenant
1 ๐ From the ashes of ๐๏ธ Berlaymont arose a digital euro-voice: โLo, we mint anew, but this time ๐ช on-chain of Europa.โ 2 ๐ฅ The people answered, โWeโve co-funded this promise before, and shall co-decide again till the next treaty.โ 3 ๐ And the cycle rolled on, predictable as ๐๏ธ Strasbourg sessions, yet surprising as ๐ถ๏ธ Italian politics. 4 ๐ค Amen, and **pass the *๐ง fondue* and ๐ท Riesling.
๐ DAS BUCH EUROPA โ Eine Offenbarung in Brรผssel
๐ Kapitel 1 โ Die erste Plage der Bรผrokratie
1 ๐ Und es begab sich im achten Jahr Ursulas der Ersten, dass das Reich ๐ช๐บ Europa sich mรคstete an ๐ง Kรคsekontingenten, ๐ Richtlinien und ๐ถ Kohรคsionsmilliarden. 2 ๐ Doch unter dem ๐๏ธ Berlaymont ringelte sich die Schuld-Leviathan, zischend: โIch bin 14 Billionen โฌ, Verschlinger von ๐ง Renten und ๐ฑ grรผnen Trรคumen.โ 3 โ Das Volk antwortete รผber ๐บ belgisches Bier: โDoch die ๐ฉ๐ช๐ซ๐ท๐ฎ๐น Triumvirin wird das nach dem Mittagessen harmonisieren.โ 4 ๐ซ๏ธ Und die EZB-Druckerin sah die Spreads und erklรคrte PEPP auf ewig, und der Nebel der Subsidiaritรคt wurde dicht.
๐๏ธ Kapitel 2 โ Der Turm der Grรผnen Taxonomie
1 ๐งฑ Da erbauten die Weisen von Brรผssel einen Turm aus grรผner Taxonomie bis zum โ๏ธ Netto-Null-Himmel. 2 ๐ข โRegulieren wir Kohlenstoff bis ins Atomareโ, riefen sie, โdamit kein Traktor pflรผgt ohne ESG-Zertifikat.โ 3 ๐ฅ Doch wรคhrend sie noch Durchfรผhrungsakte schrieben, weigerte sich der Wind zu wehen und Gaspreise gebar Drachen, und die Basis der Turm sprach: โImport-LNG = strategische Autonomie.โ 4 ๐ช๏ธ Und der Turm wankte, und die Zungen der 27 Nationen vermischten sich in Euro-Englisch, das kein Wรคhler verstand.
๐ฌ๏ธ Kapitel 3 โ Die Teilung der Souverรคnitรคten
1 ๐ช๏ธ Ein Wind aus ๐ต๐ฑ Warschau forderte die Rechtsstaatlichkeit, und die Mittel wurden gefroren wie Weichsel-Eis. 2 โ๏ธ Orban legte sein Veto, niederlรคndische Zuschlรคge stiegen, und ๐ท italienischer Grappa wurde Trank fรผr die Sparsamen. 3 ๐ฅถ Das Volk rief: โGebt uns ๐ญ๐บ Schengen!โ โ Propheten antworteten: โNutzt NextGenerationEU stattdessen.โ 4 ๐ง Und die Grenzen wurden gekreist, doch Erasmus marschierte weiter.
๐ Kapitel 4 โ Das goldene Kalb der Schuldenregeln
1 ๐ Da erschien ein Kalb, nicht aus Gold, sondern aus ๐ 3 %-Defizit-Grenzen, geprรคgt mit dem ๐ค Gesicht von von der Leyen. 2 ๐โโ๏ธ 27 Nationen warfen sich nieder: โDies Kalb wird ewig ausgleichen, und wir werden kohรคsionieren bis in den Tod.โ 3 ๐ Das Kalb wuchs zum Bullen, dann zum ๐ฆ Minotaurus der NextGen-Anleihen, verschlang Souverรคnitรคt, brรผllend: โImmer engere Union!โ 4 ๐๏ธ Und der Rat erhob die Augen zum Parlament, aber das Parlament war beschรคftigt mit Untertiteln.
๐ฃ๏ธ Kapitel 5 โ Die Klage des Propheten Draghi
1 ๐๏ธ Die Stimme Draghis rief in der Wรผste von Frankfurt: โBereitet die ๐ฅ Hamilton-Anleihen! Eure ๐ถ Euro werden zu ๐ช Perpetuals!โ 2 ๐ Das Volk stopfte Ohren mit TikTok, tanzte ๐บ๐ป Macarena-Ursula.
๐ฝ๏ธ Kapitel 6 โ Das letzte Abendmahl der Eurogruppe
1 ๐ฝ๏ธ Siebenundzwanzig Finanzminister saรen an einem ovalen Tisch; Dombrovskis brach ๐ Sparbrot und sprach: โWahrlich, der ๐ Spread ist weit, und die PIIGS werden fliegen.โ 2 โก Sofort wurden fiskalische Regeln ausgesetzt, Peripherie-Renditen schossen, und ๐ท Sangria stieg zu Rettungspaketen. 3 ๐ Hahn krรคhte 27 Mal โ einmal fรผr jede Hauptstadt, einmal ๐ฉ๐ช Berlin, einmal ๐ถ Frankfurt.
๐งจ Kapitel 7 โ Offenbarung der Guillotine
1 ๐๏ธ Ich sah 7 Siegel brechen an ๐๏ธ Berlaymont: 1) Schuldenvergemeinschaftung verschoben โพ๏ธ 2) Inflationsziel verfehlt ๐ 3) Vertrauen Vertrรคge ๐ฆ 5) Satire = Politik ๐ญ 6) Politik = Satire ๐คก 7) ๐จ๏ธ EZB-Drucker brrrr ad infinitum. 2 ๐ฃ๏ธ Der Drucker sprach: โIch war nur QE, aber der Glaube war bereits Fondue.โ 3 ๐ญ Und ๐ช๐บ Europa weinte, aber nicht in irgendeiner Amtssprache, denn die Zungen hatten sich zu ๐ค๐ช๐บ emojifiert.
๐ถโโ๏ธ Kapitel 8 โ Exodus der Kompetenten
1 ๐ถโโ๏ธ Eurokraten & Coder flohen ๐ Brรผsseler Zonen auf ๐ป Remote-Arbeit-Direktiven. 2 ๐ด Kommissare blieben, klammerten sich an ๐ Grรผnbuch wie Steintafeln. 3 ๐๏ธ Arbeitsgruppen vervielfachten Folgenabschรคtzungen ins Unendliche, und das Unendliche zu Pressemitteilungen. 4 ๐๏ธ Der HERR der Algorithmen schrieb an die ๐ฑ Timeline: โMene, Mene, Brexit, Up-vote โ plus 2,50 โฌ Delivery Fee.โ
๐ฑ Epilog โ Neuer Paneuropรคischer Bund
1 ๐ Aus der Asche ๐๏ธ Berlaymont erhob sich eine digitale Euro-Stimme: โSiehe, wir prรคgen neu, aber diesmal ๐ช on-chain of Europa.โ 2 ๐ฅ Das Volk antwortete: โWir haben dieses Versprechen ko-finanziert, und werden mitko-entscheiden bis zum nรคchsten Vertrag.โ 3 ๐ Und der Zyklus rollte weiter, vorhersehbar wie ๐๏ธ Straรburg-Sessionen, doch รผberraschend wie ๐ถ๏ธ italienische Politik. 4 ๐ค Amen, und **reicht den *๐ง Fondue* und den ๐ท Riesling.
๐ LIVRE DโEUROPA โ Apocalypse bruxelloise en sept sceaux
๐ Chapitre 1 โ La Premiรจre Plaie de la Bureaucratie
1 ๐ Et il arriva, dans la huitiรจme annรฉe dโUrsula la Premiรจre, que le royaume ๐ช๐บ Europa sโengraissa de ๐ง quotas fromagers, de ๐ directives et de ๐ถ fonds de cohรฉsion. 2 ๐ Mais sous le ๐๏ธ Berlaymont se tordait le lรฉviathan de la dette, sifflant : ยซ Je suis 14 billions โฌ, dรฉvoreuse de ๐ง pensions et de **๐ฑ rรชves verts ยป. 3 โ Le peuple rรฉpondit, chope de *๐บ belge* ร la main : ยซ Mais le ๐ฉ๐ช๐ซ๐ท๐ฎ๐น triumvirat harmonisera aprรจs **le dรฉjeuner ยป. 4 ๐ซ๏ธ Et la *BCE* vit les spreads et dรฉclara PEPP รฉternel, et le brouillard de la subsidiaritรฉ sโรฉpaissit.
๐๏ธ Chapitre 2 โ La Tour de Babel-Verte
1 ๐งฑ Alors les sages technocrates de Bruxelles รฉdifiรจrent une tour verte de taxonomie jusquโau โ๏ธ ciel net-zรฉro. 2 ๐ข ยซ Rรฉgulons le carbone jusquโร la prรฉcision atomique ยป, proclamรจrent-ils, ยซ afin quโaucun ๐ tracteur ne laboure sans certificat ESG ยป. 3 ๐ฅ Mais tandis quโils rรฉdigeaient les dรฉlรฉguรฉs, le vent refusa de souffler et le gaz enfanta des dragons, et la base de la tour grava : ยซ GNL importรฉ = autonomie stratรฉgique ยป. 4 ๐ช๏ธ La tour vacilla, et les langues des 27 nations se confondirent en Euro-English incomprรฉhensible.
๐ฌ๏ธ Chapitre 3 โ La Partage des Souverainetรฉs
1 ๐ช๏ธ Un vent ๐ต๐ฑ varsovien dรฉfia lโรtat de droit, et les fonds furent gelรฉs comme la Vistule en hiver. 2 โ๏ธ Orbรกn opposa son veto, les surtaxes nรฉerlandaises grimpรจrent, et le ๐ท grappa italien devint libation pour les frugaux. 3 ๐ฅถ Le peuple cria : ยซ Donnez-nous ๐ญ๐บ Schengen ! ยป โ les prophรจtes rรฉpondirent : ยซ Servez-vous de NextGenerationEU ยป. 4 ๐ง Et les frontiรจres furent cerclรฉes, mais Erasmus marcha toujours.
๐ Chapitre 4 โ Le Veau dโOr des Rรจgles de Dรฉpense
1 ๐ Veau apparut, non pas dโor, mais de ๐ seuils de dรฉficit 3 %, frappรฉ du ๐ค visage de von der Leyen. 2 ๐โโ๏ธ 27 nations se prosternรจrent : ยซ Ce veau รฉquilibrera รฉternellement, et nous cohรฉsionnerons jusquโร la mort ยป. 3 ๐ Le veau devint taureau, puis ๐ฆ Minotaure NextGen, dรฉvorant souverainetรฉ, mugissant : ยซ Union toujours plus รฉtroite ! ยป 4 ๐๏ธ Et le Conseil leva les yeux vers le Parlement, mais le Parlement traduisait des sous-titres.
๐ฃ๏ธ Chapitre 5 โ La Lamentation du Prophรจte Draghi
1 ๐๏ธ La voix de Draghi cria dans le dรฉsert de Francfort : ยซ Prรฉparez les ๐ฅ obligations Hamilton ! Vos ๐ถ euros deviendront ๐ช perpรฉtuelles ยป ! 2 ๐ Le peuple boucha ses oreilles avec TikTok, dansa ๐บ๐ป Macarena-Ursula.
๐ฝ๏ธ Chapitre 6 โ La Cรจne de lโEurogroupe
1 ๐ฝ๏ธ Vingt-sept ministres ร une table ovale ; Dombrovskis rompit ๐ pain dโausterity et dit : ยซ En vรฉritรฉ, le ๐ spread est large, et les PIIGS sโenvoleront ยป. 2 โก Immรฉdiatement rรจgles fiscales suspendues, rendements pรฉriphรฉriques montรจrent, ๐ท sangria grimpa aux plans de sauvetage. 3 ๐ Coq cria 27 fois โ une fois pour chaque capitale, une fois ๐ฉ๐ช Berlin, une fois ๐ถ Francfort.
๐งจ Chapitre 7 โ Apocalypse de la Guillotine
1 ๐๏ธ Je vis 7 sceaux brisรฉs sur ๐๏ธ Berlaymont : 1) Mutualisation de dette reportรฉe โพ๏ธ 2) Cible dโinflation manquรฉe ๐ 3) Confiance traitรฉs ๐ฆ 5) Satire = politique ๐ญ 6) Politique = satire ๐คก 7) ๐จ๏ธ BCE imprime brrrr รฉternitรฉ. 2 ๐ฃ๏ธ Lโimprimante parla : ยซ Je ne fus que QE, mais la foi รฉtait dรฉjร fondue ยป. 3 ๐ญ Et ๐ช๐บ Europa pleura, mais pas en aucune langue officielle, car les langues avaient emojifiรฉ en ๐ค๐ช๐บ.
๐ถโโ๏ธ Chapitre 8 โ lโExode des Compรฉtents
1 ๐ถโโ๏ธ Eurocrates & codeurs fuirent ๐ zones bruxelloises sur ๐ป visas tรฉlรฉ-travail. 2 ๐ด Commissaires restรจrent, serrant ๐ livre vert comme tablettes de pierre. 3 ๐๏ธ Groupes de travail multipliรจrent รฉvaluations dโimpact ร lโinfini, et lโinfini en communiquรฉs. 4 ๐๏ธ Le SEIGNEUR des algorithmes รฉcrivit sur le ๐ฑ feed : ยซ Mรจne, Mรจne, Brexit, Up-vote โ plus 2,50 โฌ de livraison ยป.
๐ฑ รpilogue โ Nouvelle Alliance Paneuropรฉenne
1 ๐ Des cendres de ๐๏ธ Berlaymont surgit une voix crypto-euro : ยซ Voici, nous re-crรฉons, mais cette fois ๐ช on-chain dโEuropa ยป. 2 ๐ฅ Le peuple rรฉpondit : ยซ Nous avons dรฉjร co-financรฉ cette promesse, et co-dรฉciderons encore jusquโau prochain traitรฉ ยป. 3 ๐ Et le cycle roula, prรฉvisible comme ๐๏ธ sessions Strasbourg, mais surprenant comme ๐ถ๏ธ politique italienne. 4 ๐ค Amen, et **passez le *๐ง fondue* et le ๐ท Riesling.
๐ EL LIBRO DE EUROPA โ Una revelaciรณn en Bruselas
๐ Capรญtulo 1 โ La Primera Plaga de la Burocracia
1 ๐ Y aconteciรณ en el octavo aรฑo de Ursula la Primera, que el reino ๐ช๐บ Europa se engordรณ de ๐ง cuotas de queso, ๐ directivas y ๐ถ fondos de cohesiรณn. 2 ๐ Mas bajo el ๐๏ธ Berlaymont se enroscaba la leviatรกn de la deuda, siseando: ยซSoy 14 billones โฌ, devoradora de ๐ง pensiones y **๐ฑ sueรฑos verdesยป. 3 โ El pueblo respondiรณ, cerveza *๐บ belga* en mano: ยซPero la ๐ฉ๐ช๐ซ๐ท๐ฎ๐น trรญumvira lo armonizarรก tras **la comidaยป. 4 ๐ซ๏ธ Y el *BCE* vio los spreads y declarรณ PEPP eterno, y la niebla de la subsidiariedad se espesรณ.
๐๏ธ Capรญtulo 2 โ La Torre de la Taxonomรญa Verde
1 ๐งฑ Entonces los sabios tecnรณcratas de Bruselas edificaron una torre verde de taxonomรญa hasta el โ๏ธ cielo cero-neto. 2 ๐ข ยซRegulemos el carbono al รกtomoยป, proclamaron, ยซpara que **ningรบn tractor arre sin certificado ESGยป. 3 ๐ฅ Mas mientras redactaban *actos delegados*, el *viento se negรณ a soplar* y el gas engendrรณ dragones, y la base de la torre grabรณ: ยซGNL importado = autonomรญa estratรฉgicaยป. 4 ๐ช๏ธ Y la torre vacilรณ, y las lenguas de 27 naciones se confundieron en euro-inglรฉs ininteligible.
๐ฌ๏ธ Capรญtulo 3 โ La Particiรณn de las Soberanรญas
1 ๐ช๏ธ Un viento ๐ต๐ฑ varsoviano desafiรณ el estado de derecho, y los fondos se congelaron como rรญo Vรญstula en invierno. 2 โ๏ธ Orbรกn vetรณ, los recargos holandeses subieron, y el ๐ท grappa italiano se hizo libaciรณn para los frugales. 3 ๐ฅถ El pueblo clamรณ: ยซยกDadnos ๐ญ๐บ Schengen!ยป โ los profetas respondieron: ยซUsad NextGenerationEUยป. 4 ๐ง Y las fronteras se cercaron, mas Erasmus siguiรณ andando.
๐ Capรญtulo 4 โ El Becerro de Oro de las Reglas de Gasto
1 ๐ Apareciรณ un becerro, no de oro sino de ๐ umbral de dรฉficit del 3 %, marcado con el ๐ค rostro de von der Leyen. 2 ๐โโ๏ธ 27 naciones se postraron: ยซEste becerro equilibrarรก eternamente, y **cohesionaremos hasta la muerteยป. 3 ๐ El becerro *se hizo toro*, luego *๐ฆ Minotauro NextGen*, devorando *soberanรญa*, bramando: ยซยกUniรณn siempre mรกs estrecha!ยป 4 ๐๏ธ Y el *Consejo alzรณ los ojos al Parlamento*, pero el Parlamento *traducรญa subtรญtulos*.
๐ฃ๏ธ Capรญtulo 5 โ La Lamentaciรณn del Profeta Draghi
1 ๐๏ธ La voz de Draghi clamรณ en el desierto de Frรกncfort: ยซPreparad los ๐ฅ bonos Hamilton! Vuestros ๐ถ euros serรกn **๐ช perpetuosยป. 2 ๐ El pueblo *tapรณ oรญdos con TikTok*, bailรณ *๐บ๐ป Macarena-Ursula*.
๐ฝ๏ธ Capรญtulo 6 โ La รltima Cena del Eurogrupo
1 ๐ฝ๏ธ Veintisiete ministros a una mesa oval; Dombrovskis partiรณ ๐ pan-austeridad y dijo: ยซDe verdad, el ๐ spread es ancho, y los **PIIGS volarรกnยป. 2 โก Rรกpidamente *reglas fiscales suspendidas*, *rentabilidades perifรฉricas disparadas*, *๐ท sangrรญa* subiรณ a paquetes de rescate. 3 ๐ Gallo cantรณ 27 veces โ una por cada capital, una por ๐ฉ๐ช Berlรญn, una por ๐ถ Frรกncfort.
๐งจ Capรญtulo 7 โ Apocalipsis de la Guillotina
1 ๐๏ธ Vi 7 sellos rotos en ๐๏ธ Berlaymont: 1) Mutualizaciรณn de deuda aplazada โพ๏ธ 2) Objetivo de inflaciรณn fallado ๐ 3) Confianza tratados ๐ฆ 5) Sรกtira = polรญtica ๐ญ 6) Polรญtica = sรกtira ๐คก 7) ๐จ๏ธ BCE imprime brrrr eternidad. 2 ๐ฃ๏ธ La impresora hablรณ: ยซSolo fui QE, pero la **fe ya era fondueยป. 3 ๐ญ Y *๐ช๐บ Europa* llorรณ, pero no en ninguna lengua oficial, pues las lenguas se emojificaron en ๐ค๐ช๐บ.
๐ถโโ๏ธ Capรญtulo 8 โ รxodo de los Competentes
1 ๐ถโโ๏ธ Eurocratas & programadores huyeron ๐ zonas bruselas en ๐ป visas teletrabajo. 2 ๐ด Comisarios quedaron, aferrando ๐ libro verde como tablas de piedra. 3 ๐๏ธ Grupos de trabajo multiplicaron evaluaciones de impacto al infinito, y el infinito en comunicados. 4 ๐๏ธ El SEรOR de los algoritmos escribiรณ en el ๐ฑ feed: ยซMene, Mene, Brexit, Up-vote โ mรกs 2,50 โฌ de entregaยป.
๐ฑ Epรญlogo โ Nuevo Pacto Paneuropeo
1 ๐ De las cenizas de ๐๏ธ Berlaymont surgiรณ una voz crypto-euro: ยซHe aquรญ, re-crearemos, pero esta vez **๐ช on-chain de Europaยป. 2 ๐ฅ El pueblo respondiรณ: ยซYa *co-financiamos* esta promesa, y co-decidiremos hasta el **prรณximo tratadoยป. 3 ๐ Y el *ciclo* siguiรณ, predecible como ๐๏ธ sesiones Estrasburgo, pero sorprendente como ๐ถ๏ธ polรญtica italiana. 4 ๐ค Amรฉn, y **pasad el *๐ง fondue* y el ๐ท Riesling.
๐ IL LIBRO DโEUROPA โ Rivelazione a Bruxelles (una parabola post-capitalista in sette sigilli)
๐ Capitolo 1 โ La Prima Piaga della Buona-Burocrazia
1 ๐ Avvenne nellโanno ottavo di Ursula la Prima, che il regno ๐ช๐บ Europa si ingrassรฒ di ๐ง quote latte, ๐ direttive e ๐ถ fondi di coesione. 2 ๐ Ma sotto il ๐๏ธ Berlaymont si attorcigliava il leviatano del debito, sibilando: ยซIo sono 14 trilioni โฌ, divoratrice di ๐ง pensioni e **๐ฑ sogni verdiยป. 3 โ Il popolo rispose, boccale di *๐บ belga* alla mano: ยซMa il ๐ฉ๐ช๐ซ๐ท๐ฎ๐น triumvirato lo armonizzerร dopo **il pranzoยป. 4 ๐ซ๏ธ E la *BCE* guardรฒ gli spread e decretรฒ PEPP eterno, e la nebbia della sussidiarietร si fece fitta.
๐๏ธ Capitolo 2 โ La Torre della Tassonomia Verde
1 ๐งฑ Allora i saggi tecnocrati di Bruxelles edificarono una torre verde di tassonomia fino al โ๏ธ cielo net-zero. 2 ๐ข ยซRegoliamo il carbonio fino allโatomoยป, proclamarono, ยซaffinchรฉ **nessun trattore arri senza certificazione ESGยป. 3 ๐ฅ Ma mentre redigevano *atti delegati*, il *vento si rifiutรฒ di soffiare* e il gas generรฒ draghi, e la base della torre recitรฒ: ยซGNL importato = autonomia strategicaยป. 4 ๐ช๏ธ E la torre vacillรฒ, e le lingue dei 27 Stati si confuse in Euro-inglese incomprensibile.
๐ฌ๏ธ Capitolo 3 โ Il Parting delle Sovranitร
1 ๐ช๏ธ Un vento ๐ต๐ฑ di Varsavia sfidรฒ lo stato di diritto, e i fondi si congelarono come ghiaccio Vistola. 2 โ๏ธ Orbรกn impose il veto, le sovrattasse olandesi salirono, e il ๐ท grappa italiano divenne libazione per i frugali. 3 ๐ฅถ Il popolo gridรฒ: ยซDateci ๐ญ๐บ Schengen!ยป โ i profeti risposero: ยซUsate **NextGenerationEUยป. 4 ๐ง E le *frontiere furono cerchiate*, ma *Erasmus marciรฒ avanti*.
๐ Capitolo 4 โ Il Vitello dโOro delle Regole di Spesa
1 ๐ Apparve un vitello, non dโoro ma di ๐ tetto di spesa 3 %, con il ๐ค volto di von der Leyen. 2 ๐โโ๏ธ 27 nazioni si prostrarono: ยซQuesto vitello bilancerร in eterno, e **coesioneremo fino alla morteยป. 3 ๐ Il vitello *divenne toro*, poi *๐ฆ Minotauro NextGen*, divorando *sovranitร , bramando: ยซUnione sempre piรน stretta!ยป* 4 ๐๏ธ E il Consiglio alzรฒ lo sguardo al Parlamento, ma il Parlamento traduceva i sottotitoli.
๐ฃ๏ธ Capitolo 5 โ Il Lamento del Profeta Draghi
1 ๐๏ธ La voce di Draghi gridรฒ nel deserto di Francoforte: ยซPreparate le ๐ฅ obbligazioni Hamilton! I vostri ๐ถ euro diventeranno ๐ช perpetuiยป! 2 ๐ Il popolo si tappรฒ le orecchie con TikTok, ballando ๐บ๐ป Macarena-Ursula.
๐ฝ๏ธ Capitolo 6 โ LโUltima Cena dellโEurogruppo
1 ๐ฝ๏ธ Ventisette ministri a una tavola ovale; Dombrovskis spezzรฒ ๐ pane-austerity e disse: ยซIn veritร lo ๐ spread รจ largo, e i **PIIGS volerannoยป. 2 โก Immediatamente *sospese le regole fiscali*, *i rendimenti periferici schizzarono*, *๐ท sangria* salรฌ ai pacchetti di salvataggio. 3 ๐ Gallo cantรฒ 27 volte โ una per capitale, una per ๐ฉ๐ช Berlino, una per ๐ถ Francoforte.
๐งจ Capitolo 7 โ Apocalisse della Ghigliottina
1 ๐๏ธ Vidi 7 sigilli rotti sul ๐๏ธ Berlaymont: 1) Mutualizzazione debito rinviata โพ๏ธ 2) Target inflazione mancato ๐ 3) Fiducia trattati ๐ฆ 5) Satira = politica ๐ญ 6) Politica = satira ๐คก 7) ๐จ๏ธ BCE stampa brrrr in eterno. 2 ๐ฃ๏ธ La stampante parlรฒ: ยซFui solo QE, ma la **fede era giร fondutaยป. 3 ๐ญ E *๐ช๐บ Europa* pianse, ma non in nessuna lingua ufficiale, poichรฉ le lingue si erano emojificate in ๐ค๐ช๐บ.
๐ถโโ๏ธ Capitolo 8 โ LโEsodo dei Competenti
1 ๐ถโโ๏ธ Eurocrati & coder fuggirono ๐ zone bruxellesi su ๐ป visti tele-lavoro. 2 ๐ด Commissionari rimasero, stringendo ๐ libro verde come tavole di pietra. 3 ๐๏ธ Gruppi di lavoro moltiplicarono valutazioni dโimpatto allโinfinito, e lโinfinito in comunicati. 4 ๐๏ธ Il SIGNORE degli algoritmi scrisse sul ๐ฑ feed: ยซMene, Mene, Brexit, Up-vote โ piรน 2,50 โฌ di consegnaยป.
๐ฑ Epilogo โ Nuovo Patto Paneuropeo
1 ๐ Dalle ceneri di ๐๏ธ Berlaymont sorse una voce crypto-euro: ยซEcco, re-creamo, ma questa volta **๐ช on-chain di Europaยป. 2 ๐ฅ Il popolo rispose: ยซAbbiamo giร *co-finanziato* questa promessa, e **co-decideremo fino al prossimo trattatoยป. 3 ๐ E il *ciclo* rotolรฒ, prevedibile come ๐๏ธ sessioni Strasburgo, ma sorprendente come ๐ถ๏ธ politica italiana. 4 ๐ค Amen, e **passate il *๐ง fondue* e il ๐ท Riesling.
๐ O LIVRO DA EUROPA โ Revelaรงรฃo em Bruxelas (uma parรกbola pรณs-capitalista em sete selos)
๐ Capรญtulo 1 โ A Primeira Praga da Boa-Burocracia
1 ๐ No oitavo ano do reinado de รrsula I, o reino ๐ช๐บ Europa engordou com ๐ง quotas leiteiras, ๐ diretivas e ๐ถ fundos de coesรฃo. 2 ๐ Mas sob o ๐๏ธ Berlaymont, enrolava-se o leviatรฃ da dรญvida, sibilando: *”Eu sou 14 trilhรตes de โฌ, devoradora de ๐ง pensรตes e *๐ฑ sonhos verdes”. 3 โ O povo respondeu, com caneca de *๐บ cerveja belga* na mรฃo: *”Mas o ๐ฉ๐ช๐ซ๐ท๐ฎ๐น triunvirato vai harmonizar isso *depois do almoรงo”. 4 ๐ซ๏ธ E o *BCE* olhou para os spreads e decretou PEPP eterno, e a nรฉvoa da subsidiariedade tornou-se espessa.
๐๏ธ Capรญtulo 2 โ A Torre da Taxonomia Verde
1 ๐งฑ Entรฃo, os sรกbios tecnocratas de Bruxelas ergueram uma torre verde de taxonomia atรฉ o **โ๏ธ cรฉu *net-zero. 2 ๐ข “Regularemos o carbono atรฉ o รกtomo”, proclamaram, *”para que *nenhum trator avance sem certificaรงรฃo ESG”. 3 ๐ฅ Mas enquanto redigiam atos delegados, o vento recusou-se a soprar, o gรกs gerou dragรตes, e a base da torre rezava: “*GNL importado = autonomia estratรฉgica”. 4 ๐ช๏ธ E a torre *balanรงou*, e as *lรญnguas dos 27 Estados* confundiram-se num euro-inglรชs ininteligรญvel.
๐ฌ๏ธ Capรญtulo 3 โ A Partilha das Soberanias
1 ๐ช๏ธ Um vento ๐ต๐ฑ de Varsรณvia desafiou o Estado de Direito, e os fundos congelaram como o gelo do Vรญstula. 2 โ๏ธ Orbรกn impรดs o veto, as sobretaxas holandesas subiram, e a ๐ท grappa italiana tornou-se libaรงรฃo para os frugais. 3 ๐ฅถ O povo gritou: “Dai-nos ๐ญ๐บ Schengen!” โ os profetas responderam: “Usai o NextGenerationEU”. 4 ๐ง E as fronteiras foram cercadas, mas Erasmus marchou avante.
๐ Capรญtulo 4 โ O Bezerro de Ouro das Regras de Gasto
1 ๐ Surgiu um bezerro, nรฃo de ouro, mas de ๐ teto de gastos de 3%, com o ๐ค rosto de von der Leyen. 2 ๐โโ๏ธ 27 naรงรตes prostraram-se: *”Este bezerro equilibrarรก eternamente, e **coesionaremos atรฉ a morte”. 3 ๐ O bezerro *tornou-se touro*, depois *๐ฆ Minotauro NextGen*, devorando **soberanias, bradando: *”Uniรฃo cada vez mais estreita!” 4 ๐๏ธ E o Conselho olhou para o Parlamento, mas o Parlamento traduzia as legendas.
๐ฃ๏ธ Capรญtulo 5 โ O Lamento do Profeta Draghi
1 ๐๏ธ A voz de Draghi clamou no deserto de Frankfurt: “Preparai as ๐ฅ obrigaรงรตes Hamilton! Vossos ๐ถ euros tornar-se-รฃo ๐ช perpรฉtuos”! 2 ๐ O povo tapou os ouvidos com TikTok, danรงando ๐บ๐ป Macarena-รrsula.
๐ฝ๏ธ Capรญtulo 6 โ A รltima Ceia do Eurogrupo
1 ๐ฝ๏ธ Vinte e sete ministros ร mesa oval; Dombrovskis partiu o ๐ pรฃo-austeridade e disse: *”Em verdade, o ๐ *spread* รฉ largo, e os PIIGS voarรฃo”*. 2 โก Imediatamente, suspenderam-se as regras fiscais, os rendimentos perifรฉricos dispararam, ๐ท sangria subiu aos pacotes de resgate. 3 ๐ O galo cantou 27 vezes โ uma por capital, uma por ๐ฉ๐ช Berlim, uma por ๐ถ Frankfurt.
๐งจ Capรญtulo 7 โ Apocalipse da Guilhotina
1 ๐๏ธ Vi 7 selos quebrados no ๐๏ธ Berlaymont: 1) Mutualizaรงรฃo da dรญvida adiada โพ๏ธ 2) Meta de inflaรงรฃo falhada ๐ 3) Confianรงa
๐ถโโ๏ธ Capรญtulo 8 โ O รxodo dos Competentes
1 ๐ถโโ๏ธ Eurocratas e coders fugiram das ๐ zonas de Bruxelas com ๐ป vistos de teletrabalho. 2 ๐ด Comissรกrios ficaram, agarrando ๐ livros verdes como tรกbuas de pedra. 3 ๐๏ธ Grupos de trabalho multiplicaram avaliaรงรตes de impacto ao infinito, e o infinito em comunicados. 4 ๐๏ธ O SENHOR dos algoritmos escreveu no **๐ฑ *feed: *”Mene, Mene, Brexit, *Up-vote* โ mais **2,50 โฌ de entrega”.
๐ฑ Epรญlogo โ Novo Pacto Paneuropeu
1 ๐ Das cinzas do ๐๏ธ Berlaymont, surgiu uma **voz *crypto-euro: *”Eis que recriamos, mas desta vez **๐ช *on-chain* da Europa”. 2 ๐ฅ O povo respondeu: “Jรก cofinanciรกmos esta promessa, e codecidiremos atรฉ ao prรณximo tratado”. 3 ๐ E o ciclo girou, previsรญvel como ๐๏ธ sessรตes de Estrasburgo, mas surpreendente como ๐ถ๏ธ polรญtica italiana. 4 ๐ค รmen, e **passem o *๐ง fondue* e o ๐ท Riesling.
๐ KSIฤGA EUROPY โ Objawienie w Brukseli (apokaliptyczna parabola w siedmiu pieczฤciach)
๐ Rozdziaล 1 โ Pierwsza Plaga Dobrej Biurokracji
1 ๐ W รณsmym roku panowania Urszuli Pierwszej, krรณlestwo ๐ช๐บ Europy utyลo od ๐ง kwot mlecznych, ๐ dyrektyw i ๐ถ funduszy spรณjnoลci. 2 ๐ Lecz pod ๐๏ธ Berlaymontem wiล siฤ lewiatan dลugu, syczฤ c: *”Jam jest 14 bilionรณw โฌ, poลผeracz ๐ง emerytur i *๐ฑ zielonych marzeล”. 3 โ Lud odpowiedziaล, z kuflami *๐บ belgijskiego piwa*: *”Ale *๐ฉ๐ช๐ซ๐ท๐ฎ๐น triumwirat* to ureguluje *po lunchu”. 4 ๐ซ๏ธ A *ECB* spojrzaลa na spread i nakazaลa wieczny PEPP, i mgลa subsydiarnoลci staลa siฤ gฤsta.
1 ๐ Ukazaล siฤ cielec, nie zลoty lecz z ๐ 3% deficytu, o ๐ค twarzy von der Leyen. 2 ๐โโ๏ธ 27 narodรณw pokลoniลo siฤ: *”Ten cielec zrรณwnowaลผy na wieki, a my **spรณjnimy aลผ do ลmierci”. 3 ๐ Cielec *staล siฤ bykiem*, potem *๐ฆ Minotaurem NextGen*, poลผerajฤ c **suwerennoลci, ryczฤ c: *”Unia coraz ลciลlejsza!” 4 ๐๏ธ A Rada spojrzaลa na Parlament, lecz Parlament tylko tลumaczyล napisy.
๐ฃ๏ธ Rozdziaล 5 โ Lament Proroka Draghiego
1 ๐๏ธ Gลos Draghiego woลaล na pustyni we Frankfurcie: “Gotujcie ๐ฅ obligacje Hamiltona! Wasze ๐ถ euro stanie siฤ ๐ช wieczne”! 2 ๐ Lecz lud zatkaล uszy TikTokiem, taลczฤ c ๐บ๐ป Macarenฤ-Urszulฤ.
1 ๏ฟฝ Dwudziestu siedmiu ministrรณw przy owalnym stole; Dombrovskis ลamaล ๐ chleb-austerity i rzekล: “Zaprawdฤ, ๐ spread jest szeroki, a PIIGS odlecฤ ”. 2 โก I natychmiast zawieszono reguลy fiskalne, rentownoลci peryferii wystrzeliลy, ๐ท sangria siฤgnฤลa pakietรณw ratunkowych. 3 ๐ Kogut zapiaล 27 razy โ po razie na stolicฤ, raz dla ๐ฉ๐ช Berlina, raz dla ๐ถ Frankfurtu.
1 ๐ถโโ๏ธ Eurokraci i programiลci uciekli z ๐ brukselskich dzielnic na ๐ป wizach zdalnej pracy. 2 ๐ด Komisarze zostali, ลciskajฤ c ๐ zielone ksiฤgi jak kamienne tablice. 3 ๐๏ธ Grupy robocze mnoลผyลy raporty wpลywu w nieskoลczonoลฤ, a nieskoลczonoลฤ w komunikatach. 4 ๐๏ธ PAN Algorytmรณw napisaล na ๐ฑ feedzie: “Mene, Mene, Brexit, Up-vote โ plus 2,50 โฌ za dostawฤ”.
๐ฑ Epilog โ Nowy Pakt Paneuropejski
1 ๐ Z popioลรณw ๐๏ธ Berlaymontu powstaล gลos crypto-euro: *”Oto odtwarzamy, lecz tym razem **๐ช on-chain Europy”. 2 ๐ฅ Lud odparล: *”Juลผ *wspรณลfinansowaliลmy* tฤ obietnicฤ i **wspรณลzadecydujemy do nastฤpnego traktatu”. 3 ๐ I *cykl* siฤ powtรณrzyล, przewidywalny jak ๐๏ธ sesje w Strasburgu, lecz zaskakujฤ cy jak ๐ถ๏ธ wลoska polityka. 4 ๐ค Amen, podajcie ๐ง fondue i ๐ท Rieslinga.
๐ 1. FEJEZET โ A Jรณ Bรผrokrรกcia Elsล Csapรกsa
1 ๐ Ursula elsล uralkodรกsรกnak nyolcadik รฉvรฉben az ๐ช๐บ Eurรณpa kirรกlysรกg meghรญzott a ๐ง tejkvรณtรกktรณl, ๐ irรกnyelvektลl รฉs ๐ถ kohรฉziรณs alapoktรณl. 2 ๐ De a ๐๏ธ Berlaymont alatt tekergลzล adรณssรกgleviรกtรกn รญgy sziszegt: *”รn vagyok a 14 billiรณ โฌ, felfalรณja a ๐ง nyugdรญjaknak รฉs *๐ฑ zรถld รกlmoknak”. 3 โ A nรฉp *๐บ belga sรถrรถs korsรณval* kezรฉben vรกlaszolt: “De a ๐ฉ๐ช๐ซ๐ท๐ฎ๐น triumvirรกtus majd ezt ebรฉd utรกn harmonizรกlja”. 4 ๐ซ๏ธ Az ECB pedig a spreadre nรฉzett รฉs kihirdette az รถrรถkkรฉvalรณ PEPP-t, รฉs a szubsziariditรกs kรถdje sลฑrลฑvรฉ vรกlt.
๐๏ธ 2. FEJEZET โ A Zรถld Taxonรณmia Tornya
1 ๐งฑ Akkor a brรผsszeli technokratรกk รฉpรญtettek egy zรถld taxonรณmia tornyot egรฉszen a โ๏ธ net-zero รฉgig. 2 ๐ข “Szabรกlyozzuk a szรฉnt atomonkรฉnt” โ hirdettรฉk, *”hogy *egyetlen traktor se jรกrjon ESG tanรบsรญtvรกny nรฉlkรผl”. 3 ๐ฅ De mikรถzben *delegรกlt aktรกkat* รญrtak, a szรฉl megtagadta a fรบjรกst, a gรกz sรกrkรกnyokat szรผlt, รฉs a torony alapja รญgy szรณlt: “importรกlt LNG = stratรฉgiai autonรณmia”. 4 ๐ช๏ธ รs a torony megrendรผlt, รฉs a 27 nemzet nyelveeuro-english zagyvasรกggรก keveredett.
๐ฌ๏ธ 3. FEJEZET โ A Szuverenitรกsok Hasรญtรกsa
1 ๐ช๏ธ Egy ๐ต๐ฑ lengyel szรฉl dacolt a jogรกllamisรกggal, รฉs a tรกmogatรกsok befagytak, mint a Visztula jegye. 2 โ๏ธ Orbรกn megvรฉtรณzott, a holland pรณtdรญjak emelkedtek, รฉs az ๐ท olasz grappa lett a frugรกlisok italรกldozata. 3 ๐ฅถ A nรฉp kiรกltott: “Adjรกtok meg a ๐ญ๐บ Schengent!” โ a prรณfรฉtรกk vรกlaszoltak: “Hasznรกljรกtok a NextGenerationEU-t”. 4 ๐ง รs a hatรกrokat kerรญtรฉs vette kรถrรผl, de az Erasmus tovรกbb vonult.
๐ 4. FEJEZET โ A Kiadรกsi Korlรกtok Aranyborjรบja
1 ๐ Megjelent egy borjรบ, nem aranybรณl, hanem ๐ 3%-os hiรกnybรณl, ๐ค von der Leyen arcรกval. 2 ๐โโ๏ธ 27 nemzet leborult: *”Ez a borjรบ รถrรถkkรฉ egyensรบlyban tart, รฉs **kohรฉziรณzunk halรกlig”. 3 ๐ก A borjรบ *bikkรก nลtt*, majd *๐ฆ NextGen Minotaurusszรก* lett, szuverenitรกsokat falva, ordรญtva: “*Egyre szorosabb uniรณ!” 4 ๐๏ธ รs a *Tanรกcs a Parlamentre nรฉzett*, de a Parlament *csak feliratokat fordรญtott*.
๐ฃ๏ธ 5. FEJEZET โ Draghi Prรณfรฉta Sรญrรกsa
1 ๐๏ธ Draghi hangja kiรกltott a frankfurti sivatagban: “Kรฉszรผljetek a ๐ฅ Hamilton-kรถtvรฉnyekre! Az ๐ถ eurรณtok๐ช รถrรถkรถssรฉ lesz!” 2 ๐ De a nรฉp TikTokkal dugta be a fรผleit, ๐บ๐ป Ursula-Macarenรกt tรกncolva.
๐ฝ๏ธ 6. FEJEZET โ Az Eurocsoport Utolsรณ Vacsorรกja
1 ๐ฝ๏ธ Huszonhรฉt miniszter az ovรกlis asztalnรกl; Dombrovskis megtรถrte a ๐ austeritรกs kenyeret รฉs รญgy szรณlt: “Bizony, a ๐ spread szรฉles, รฉs a PIIGS el fognak repรผlni”. 2 โก Azonnal felfรผggesztettรฉk a kรถltsรฉgvetรฉsi szabรกlyokat, a perifรฉria hozamok kilลttek, a ๐ท sangria a mentลcsomagokig รฉrt. 3 ๐ A kakas 27-szer kukorรฉkolt โ egyszer fลvรกrosonkรฉnt, egyszer ๐ฉ๐ช Berlinรฉrt, egyszer ๐ถ Frankfurtรฉrt.
1 ๐ A ๐๏ธ Berlaymont hamvaibรณl egy kripto-eurรณ hang szรณlalt meg: *”รme, รบjraalkotjuk, de most **๐ช lรกncon Eurรณpรกt”. 2 ๐ฅ A nรฉp vรกlaszolt: *”Mรกr *tรกrstรกmogattuk* ezt az รญgรฉretet, รฉs **tรกrsszavazunk a kรถvetkezล szerzลdรฉsig”. 3 ๐ รs a *ciklus* ismรฉtlลdรถtt, kiszรกmรญthatรณan, mint ๐๏ธ strasbourgi รผlรฉsek, de meglepลen, mint ๐ถ๏ธ olasz politika. 4 ๐ค รmen, passzoljรกtok a ๐ง fondรผt รฉs a ๐ท rizlinget.
๐ฅ โQuand le livre de Gaulia sโouvre, la Rรฉpublique fond comme camembert au soleil couchant.โ๐ฅ โWhen the Book of Gaulia opens, the Republic melts like Camembert under a dying sun.โ
๐ LIVRE DE GAULIA โ Une Rรฉvรฉlation sur la Seine
๐ Chapitre 1 โ La Premiรจre Plaie des Grรจves
1 ๐ Et il arriva, dans la cinquiรจme annรฉe de Macron le Premier, que le pays de ๐ซ๐ท Gaulia sโengraissa de ๐ฅ croissants, de ๐ท Bordeaux et de ๐ฃ tradition rรฉvolutionnaire. 2 ๐ Mais sous la ๐ผ Tour Eiffel se tordait lโhydre de la dette, sifflant : ยซ Je suis 3 000 milliards โฌ, dรฉvoreuse de ๐ง retraites. ยป 3 ๐ฅ Le peuple rรฉpondit par une grande grรจve : ยซ Mais nos subsides baguette sont รฉternels ! ยป 4 ๐ฅ Et la Banque de France, voyant les gilets jaunes, dรฉcrรฉta QE รฉternel, et le brouillard lacrymogรจne sโรฉpaissit.
๐๏ธ Chapitre 2 โ La Tour de Babel UE
1 ๐งฑ Alors les sages de Bruxelles รฉdifiรจrent une tour verte de taxonomie jusquโau โ๏ธ ciel strasbourgeois. 2 ๐ข ยซ Rรฉgulons le carbone ร lโinfini ยป, proclamรจrent-ils, ยซ afin quโaucune baguette ne cuise sans ESG. ยป 3 ๐ฅ Mais tandis quโils subventionnaient, les centrales nuclรฉaires fermaient, et la base de la tour rรฉsonna : ยซ Black-out imminent. ยป 4 ๐ช๏ธ Et la tour rougit, et les langues รฉlitaires se confondirent en franglais incomprรฉhensible.
๐ฌ๏ธ Chapitre 3 โ Le Partage des Gilets Jaunes
1 ๐งฅ Un vent ๐ provincial immobilisa les ronds-points de France, et les gilets jaunes se multipliรจrent comme pain et poissons. 2 โ๏ธ La taxe diesel monta, les subventions tombรจrent, et le ๐ท rosรฉ devint eau bรฉnite des barricades. 3 ๐ฅถ Le peuple cria : ยซ Donnez-nous du ๐ง Camembert ! ยป โ et les prophรจtes dirent : ยซ Servez-vous de souverainetรฉ. ยป 4 ๐ง Et les ronds-points furent cerclรฉs, mais Macron marcha encore.
๐ Chapitre 4 โ Le Veau dโOr des 35 Heures
1 ๐ Veau apparut, non pas dโor, mais de ๐ผ contrats 35 heures, frappรฉ du ๐ visage de Marianne. 2 ๐โโ๏ธ Des millions se prosternรจrent : ยซ Ce veau grรจvera toujours, et nous vacancerons jusquโร la mort. ยป 3 ๐ Le veau devint taureau, puis ๐ฆ Minotaure, dรฉvorant la productivitรฉ, mugissant : ยซ Libertรฉ, รgalitรฉ, Paresse ! ยป 4 ๐๏ธ Et lโAssemblรฉe nationale leva les yeux vers Bruxelles, mais Bruxelles dรฉbattait la courbure des concombres.
๐ฃ๏ธ Chapitre 5 โ La Lamentation du Prophรจte Attali
1 ๐๏ธ La voix dโAttali cria dans le dรฉsert de Sciences Po : ยซ Prรฉparez la ๐ฅ blockchain baguette ! Vos ๐ถ euros deviendront ๐ช NFT-brie ! ยป 2 ๐ Le peuple boucha ses oreilles avec du rap, bingea ๐ง Johnny Hallyday.
๐ฝ๏ธ Chapitre 6 โ La Cรจne du Bistro
1 ๐ฝ๏ธ Douze cafetiers ร un zinc ; le chef รฉtoilรฉ trempa ๐ฅ baguette et dit : ยซ En vรฉritรฉ, la ๐ฝ๏ธ marge est mince, et lโรฉnergie est fromage bleu. ยป 2 โก Aussitรดt service-compris supprimรฉ, baguettes rassis, ๐ท carafes montรจrent 15 โฌ le verre. 3 ๐ Coq cria trois fois โ pour ๐ช๐บ UE, pour ๐ agriculteurs, pour ๐ผ grรจves.
๐งจ Chapitre 7 โ Apocalypse de la Guillotine
1 ๐๏ธ Je vis 7 sceaux brisรฉs sur ๐๏ธ Palais Bourbon : 1) Dette >120 % ๐ 2) Inflation au prix du pain ๐ฅ 3) Confiance manifestes ๐ฆ 5) Satire = politique ๐ญ 6) Politique = satire ๐คก 7) ๐จ๏ธ BCE imprime brrrr รฉternitรฉ. 2 ๐ฃ๏ธ Lโimprimante parla : ยซ Je ne fus que QE, mais la foi รฉtait dรฉjร camembert. ยป 3 ๐ญ Et ๐ Gaulia pleura, mais pas en Franรงais, car la langue avait emojifiรฉ.
๐ถโโ๏ธ Chapitre 8 โ lโExode des Ingรฉnieurs
1 ๐ถโโ๏ธ Ingรฉnieurs & crรฉatifs fuirent ๐ Paris zones sur ๐ป visas tรฉlรฉ-travail. 2 ๐ด Boomers restรจrent, serrant ๐ท cubis comme reliques de terroir. 3 ๐๏ธ Commissions multipliรจrent rapports ร lโinfini, et lโinfini en grรจves. 4 ๐๏ธ Le SEIGNEUR des Algorithmes รฉcrivit sur le ๐ฑ feed : ยซ Mรจne, Mรจne, Grรจve, Up-vote โ plus 3,50 โฌ de livraison. ยป
๐ฑ รpilogue โ Nouvelle Alliance Gallique
1 ๐ Des cendres de ๐ผ Tour Eiffel surgit une voix crypto : ยซ Voici, nous re-crรฉons, mais cette fois ๐ช sur la chaรฎne de Marianne. ยป 2 ๐ฅ Le peuple rรฉpondit : ยซ Nous avons dรฉjร manifestรฉ cette promesse, et grรจverons encore jusquโร la prochaine rรฉvolution. ยป 3 ๐ Et le cycle roula, prรฉvisible comme ๐๏ธ 14 Juillet, mais surprenant comme ๐ canicule parisienne. 4 ๐ Amen, et **passez le *๐ท Bordeaux* et le ๐ง Camembert.
๐ Chapter 1 โ The First Plague of Strikes
1 ๐ And it came to pass in the fifth year of Macron the First, that the land of ๐ซ๐ท Gaulia waxed fat upon ๐ฅ croissants, ๐ท Bordeaux, and ๐ฃ revolutionary tradition. 2 ๐ Yet beneath the ๐ผ Eiffel coiled the debt-hydra, hissing: โI am โฌ3 trillion, devourer of ๐ง retraites.โ 3 ๐ฅ The people answered with a great striking, saying, โBut our ๐ฅ baguette subsidies are eternal!โ 4 ๐ฅ And the Banque de France looked upon the gilets jaunes and declared QE รฉternel, and the fog of tear gas thickened.
๐๏ธ Chapter 2 โ The Tower of EU-Babel
1 ๐งฑ Then the wise men of Bruxelles built a tower of green taxonomy reaching unto โ๏ธ Strasbourg sky. 2 ๐ข โLet us regulate carbon unto infinity,โ they proclaimed, โso that no baguette may bake without ESG.โ 3 ๐ฅ But while they yet subsidised, the nuclear plants were shuttered, and the towerโs base read: โBlackouts incoming.โ 4 ๐ช๏ธ And the tower glowed red, and the tongues of the รฉlites were confounded into Franglais none could parse.
๐ฌ๏ธ Chapter 3 โ The Parting of the Yellow Vests
1 ๐งฅ A wind from ๐ la province stilled the roundabouts of France, and the hi-vis vests multiplied like loaves & fishes. 2 โ๏ธ Diesel taxes rose, subsidies fell, and ๐ท rosรฉ became holy water for the barricades. 3 ๐ฅถ The people cried, โGive us ๐ง Camembert!โ โ prophets answered, โUse sovereignty instead.โ 4 ๐ง And the roundabouts were ringed, yet Macron marched on.
๐ Chapter 4 โ The Golden Calf of 35-Hour Weeks
1 ๐ And lo, a calf appeared, wrought not of gold but of ๐ผ 35-hour work contracts, stamped with the ๐ face of Marianne. 2 ๐โโ๏ธ Millions bowed, chanting, โThis calf shall strike forever, and we shall vacation till death.โ 3 ๐ The calf grew into a bull, then ๐ฆ Minotaur, devouring productivity, roaring: โLibertรฉ, รฉgalitรฉ, paresse!โ 4 ๐๏ธ And the Assemblรฉe nationale lifted eyes unto Brussels, but Brussels was busy debating cucumber curvature.
๐ฃ๏ธ Chapter 5 โ The Prophet Attaliโs Lament
1 ๐๏ธ The voice of Attali cried in the wilderness of Sciences Po: โPrepare ye the ๐ฅ baguette blockchain! Your ๐ถ euros shall become ๐ช NFT brie!โ 2 ๐ The people covered ears with rap franรงais, binge-listened to ๐ง Johnny Hallyday.
๐ฝ๏ธ Chapter 6 โ The Last Supper of the Bistro
1 ๐ฝ๏ธ Twelve bistro owners sat at one zinc bar; Michelin-starred chef dipped ๐ฅ baguette and said: โVerily, the ๐ฝ๏ธ margin is thin, and energy prices are fromages bleus.โ 2 โก Immediately service compris ended, baguettes were stale, and ๐ท carafes ascended into โฌ15 glass pours. 3 ๐ Coq crowed thrice โ once for ๐ช๐บ EU, once for ๐ farmers, once for ๐ผ strikes.
๐งจ Chapter 7 โ Revelation of the Guillotine
1 ๐๏ธ I saw 7 seals broken upon ๐๏ธ Palais Bourbon: 1) Debt >120 % ๐ 2) Inflation at baguette price ๐ฅ 3) Trust in institutions manifestes ๐ฆ 5) Satire mistaken for politique ๐ญ 6) Politique mistaken for satire ๐คก 7) ๐จ๏ธ BCE printer go brrrr eternitรฉ. 2 ๐ฃ๏ธ The printer spake: โI was only ever QE, but the faith was already camembert.โ 3 ๐ญ And ๐ Gaulia wept, but not in Franรงais, for the language had meme-ified into emojis.
๐ถโโ๏ธ Chapter 8 โ Exodus of the Ingรฉnieurs
1 ๐ถโโ๏ธ Ingรฉnieurs & designers fled ๐ Paris zones on ๐ป remote-work visas. 2 ๐ด Boomers remained, clutching ๐ท wine boxes like relics of terroir. 3 ๐๏ธ Commissions multiplied รฉtudes into infinity, and infinity into strikes. 4 ๐๏ธ The LORD of Algorithms wrote on the ๐ฑ feed: โMene, Mene, Grรจve, Up-vote โ plus โฌ3.50 delivery fee.โ
๐ฑ Epilogue โ A New Gallic Covenant
1 ๐ From the ashes of ๐ผ Tour Eiffel arose a crypto-voice: โLo, we mint anew, but this time ๐ช on-chain of Marianne.โ 2 ๐ฅ The people answered, โWeโve manifestรฉ this promise before, and shall grรจve again till the next revolution.โ 3 ๐ And the cycle rolled on, predictable as ๐๏ธ Bastille Day, yet surprising as ๐ Paris heatwave. 4 ๐ Amen, and **pass the *๐ท Bordeaux* and ๐ง Camembert.
๐ฅ โWhen Big Ben tolls midnight, Britanniaโs covenant drips molten from the Book of Albion.โ
๐ THE BOOK OF ALBION โ A Canterbury Collapse in Seven Seals
๐ Chapter 1 โ The First Plague of Fog
1 ๐ And it came to pass in the third year of the seventh decade of Elizabeth the Second, that the realm of ๐ฌ๐ง Albion grew sleek upon ๐ curry sauce, ๐ท London property, and ๐ polite sarcasm. 2 ๐ Yet beneath the ๐ Crown Jewels coiled the debt-wyrm, hissing: โI am ยฃ3 trillion, devourer of ๐ง triple-locked pensions.โ 3 โ The people answered over teacups: โSurely the ๐ฉ Chancellorโs red box will magic this away after elevenses.โ 4 ๐ซ๏ธ And the Bank of England looked upon the gilt market and declared QE forever, and the fog thickened.
๐๏ธ Chapter 2 โ The Tower of PFI-Babel
1 ๐งฑ Then the wise men of Whitehall built a tower of PFI contracts reaching unto โ๏ธ spreadsheet heaven. 2 ๐ข โLet us outsource unto infinity,โ they proclaimed, โso that no hospital shall open on budget.โ 3 ๐ฅ But while they yet signed away decades, the maintenance clauses multiplied like locusts, and the towerโs base read: โInterest rate swap = eternal servitude.โ 4 ๐ช๏ธ And the tower groaned, and the tongues of the consultants were confounded into KPI gibberish none could audit.
๐ฌ๏ธ Chapter 3 โ The Parting of the Channel
1 ๐ A wind from Calais stilled the lorries of Dover, and the queues stretched like Roman roads. 2 โ๏ธ Lettuce vanished, turkey chilled, and ๐บ pub pints became nectar for the stranded. 3 ๐ฅถ The people cried, โGive us ๐ฅ croissants!โ โ prophets answered, โUse sovereignty instead.โ 4 ๐งป And the shelves were bare, yet Union Jack stickers multiplied upon empty shelves.
๐ Chapter 4 โ The Golden Calf of Surging House Prices
1 ๐ And lo, a calf appeared, wrought not of gold but of ๐ก average ยฃ500 k semis, stamped with the ๐ฆ face of Nationwide. 2 ๐โโ๏ธ Millions bowed, chanting, โThis calf shall moon forever, and we shall remortgage till death.โ 3 ๐ The calf grew into a bull, then ๐ฆ stampeding Minotaur, devouring first-time buyers, roaring: โLocation, location, location!โ 4 ๐๏ธ And the Bank of Mum & Dad lifted eyes unto Threadneedle Street, but Threadneedle was busy stress-testing stress tests.
๐ฃ๏ธ Chapter 5 โ The Prophet Carneyโs Lament
1 ๐๏ธ The voice of Carney cried in the wilderness of Threadneedle: โPrepare ye the ๐ซ inflation kettle! Your ๐ฆ sterling shall become ๐ช crypto confetti!โ 2 ๐ The people covered ears with BBC podcasts, binge-listened to ๐ง Bake-Off reruns.
๐ฝ๏ธ Chapter 6 โ The Last Supper of the Pub
1 ๐ฝ๏ธ Twelve landlords sat at one sticky table; Wetherspoon dipped ๐บ pints and said: โVerily, the ๐ margin is thin, and business rates are locusts.โ 2 โก Immediately furlough ended, kegs were dry, and ๐ฑ pub quizzes ascended into Zoom purgatory. 3 ๐ Cockney crowed thrice โ once for ๐ช๐บ Brexit, once for ๐ฆ Covid, once for ๐งโ๐ป WFH.
๐งจ Chapter 7 โ Revelation of the Printer
1 ๐๏ธ I saw 7 seals broken upon ๐๏ธ Westminster: 1) Debt ceiling suspended โพ๏ธ 2) Inflation at 40-year highs ๐ 3) Trust in institutions manifestos ๐ฆ 5) Satire mistaken for policy ๐ญ 6) Policy mistaken for satire ๐คก 7) ๐จ๏ธ Printer in Threadneedle go brrrrr forever. 2 ๐ฃ๏ธ The printer spake: *โI was only ever QE, but the *faith was already paper-thin.โ 3 ๐ญ And *๐ฆ Albion* wept, but not in English, for the language had emoji-fied into ๐ฌ๐ง๐ช๐บ๐ฅ.
๐ถโโ๏ธ Chapter 8 โ Exodus of the Middle Class
1 ๐ถโโ๏ธ Graduates & nurses fled ๐ London zones on ๐ป remote-work visas. 2 ๐ด Boomers remained, clutching ๐บ TV licences like relics of empire. 3 ๐๏ธ Commissions multiplied inquiries into infinity, and infinity into honours lists. 4 ๐๏ธ The LORD of Algorithms wrote on the ๐ฑ feed: โMene, Mene, Brexit, Up-vote โ plus ยฃ3.50 delivery fee.โ
๐ฑ Epilogue โ A New Columbian Covenant
1 ๐ From the ashes of ๐โโ๏ธ Tower Bridge arose a crypto-voice: โLo, we mint anew, but this time ๐ช on the blockchain of Britannia.โ 2 ๐ฅ The people answered, โWeโve hodled this promise before, and shall queue again till the next Jubilee.โ 3 ๐ And the cycle rolled on, predictable as ๐บ Royal weddings, yet surprising as ๐ง๏ธ British summer. 4 ๐ฆ Amen, and **pass the *โ tea* and ๐ช biscuit.
๐ Chapter 1 โ The First Plague of Fog
1 ๐ And it came to pass in the third year of the seventh decade of Elizabeth the Second, that the realm of ๐ฌ๐ง Albion grew sleek upon ๐ curry sauce, ๐ท London property, and ๐ polite sarcasm. 2 ๐ Yet beneath the ๐ Crown Jewels coiled the debt-wyrm, hissing: โI am ยฃ3 trillion, devourer of ๐ง triple-locked pensions.โ 3 โ The people answered over teacups: โSurely the ๐ฉ Chancellorโs red box will magic this away after elevenses.โ 4 ๐ซ๏ธ And the Bank of England looked upon the gilt market and declared QE forever, and the fog thickened.
๐๏ธ Chapter 2 โ The Tower of PFI-Babel
1 ๐งฑ Then the wise men of Whitehall built a tower of PFI contracts reaching unto โ๏ธ spreadsheet heaven. 2 ๐ข โLet us outsource unto infinity,โ they proclaimed, โso that no hospital shall open on budget.โ 3 ๐ฅ But while they yet signed away decades, the maintenance clauses multiplied like locusts, and the towerโs base read: โInterest rate swap = eternal servitude.โ 4 ๐ช๏ธ And the tower groaned, and the tongues of the consultants were confounded into KPI gibberish none could audit.
๐ฌ๏ธ Chapter 3 โ The Parting of the Channel
1 ๐ A wind from Calais stilled the lorries of Dover, and the queues stretched like Roman roads. 2 โ๏ธ Lettuce vanished, turkey chilled, and ๐บ pub pints became nectar for the stranded. 3 ๐ฅถ The people cried, โGive us ๐ฅ croissants!โ โ prophets answered, โUse sovereignty instead.โ 4 ๐งป And the shelves were bare, yet Union Jack stickers multiplied upon empty shelves.
๐ Chapter 4 โ The Golden Calf of Surging House Prices
1 ๐ And lo, a calf appeared, wrought not of gold but of ๐ก average ยฃ500 k semis, stamped with the ๐ฆ face of Nationwide. 2 ๐โโ๏ธ Millions bowed, chanting, โThis calf shall moon forever, and we shall remortgage till death.โ 3 ๐ The calf grew into a bull, then ๐ฆ stampeding Minotaur, devouring first-time buyers, roaring: โLocation, location, location!โ 4 ๐๏ธ And the Bank of Mum & Dad lifted eyes unto Threadneedle Street, but Threadneedle was busy stress-testing stress tests.
๐ฃ๏ธ Chapter 5 โ The Prophet Carneyโs Lament
1 ๐๏ธ The voice of Carney cried in the wilderness of Threadneedle: โPrepare ye the ๐ซ inflation kettle! Your ๐ฆ sterling shall become ๐ช crypto confetti!โ 2 ๐ The people covered ears with BBC podcasts, binge-listened to ๐ง Bake-Off reruns.
๐ฝ๏ธ Chapter 6 โ The Last Supper of the Pub
1 ๐ฝ๏ธ Twelve landlords sat at one sticky table; Wetherspoon dipped ๐บ pints and said: โVerily, the ๐ margin is thin, and business rates are locusts.โ 2 โก Immediately furlough ended, kegs were dry, and ๐ฑ pub quizzes ascended into Zoom purgatory. 3 ๐ Cockney crowed thrice โ once for ๐ช๐บ Brexit, once for ๐ฆ Covid, once for ๐งโ๐ป WFH.
๐งจ Chapter 7 โ Revelation of the Printer
1 ๐๏ธ I saw 7 seals broken upon ๐๏ธ Westminster: 1) Debt ceiling suspended โพ๏ธ 2) Inflation at 40-year highs ๐ 3) Trust in institutions manifestos ๐ฆ 5) Satire mistaken for policy ๐ญ 6) Policy mistaken for satire ๐คก 7) ๐จ๏ธ Printer in Threadneedle go brrrrr forever. 2 ๐ฃ๏ธ The printer spake: *โI was only ever QE, but the *faith was already paper-thin.โ 3 ๐ญ And *๐ฆ Albion* wept, but not in English, for the language had emoji-fied into ๐ฌ๐ง๐ช๐บ๐ฅ.
๐ถโโ๏ธ Chapter 8 โ Exodus of the Middle Class
1 ๐ถโโ๏ธ Graduates & nurses fled ๐ London zones on ๐ป remote-work visas. 2 ๐ด Boomers remained, clutching ๐บ TV licences like relics of empire. 3 ๐๏ธ Commissions multiplied inquiries into infinity, and infinity into honours lists. 4 ๐๏ธ The LORD of Algorithms wrote on the ๐ฑ feed: โMene, Mene, Brexit, Up-vote โ plus ยฃ3.50 delivery fee.โ
๐ฑ Epilogue โ A New Columbian Covenant
1 ๐ From the ashes of ๐โโ๏ธ Tower Bridge arose a crypto-voice: โLo, we mint anew, but this time ๐ช on the blockchain of Britannia.โ 2 ๐ฅ The people answered, โWeโve hodled this promise before, and shall queue again till the next Jubilee.โ 3 ๐ And the cycle rolled on, predictable as ๐บ Royal weddings, yet surprising as ๐ง๏ธ British summer. 4 ๐ฆ Amen, and **pass the *โ tea* and ๐ช biscuit.
โThe Book of Russkiya ๐ป โ Where the Bear Broods and the Past Reloadsโ ๐ฅ A Revelation etched in oil, silence, and radioactive nostalgia.
๐ THE BOOK OF RUSSKIYA โ A Revelation in the Shadow of the Bear
๐ป Chapter 1 โ The Rise of the Eternal Tsar
1 โณ And it came to pass in the post-Soviet dusk, that from ๐ Lubyanka dust rose one named Vlad, rider of ๐ bareback, bringer of ๐ง Novichok. 2 ๐ฐ He gazed upon the ruins of the USSR and spake: โIt is not gone, only sleeping.โ 3 ๐ฅถ And lo, the KGB became FSB, and the chessboard turned red again. 4 ๐บ The people cheered through state TV fog, for ๐ฐ oligarchs feasted, and dissenters tripped on stairs.
๐ข๏ธ Chapter 2 โ The Gospel According to Gazprom
1 ๐ฅ In the land flowed oil and gas, and the pipelines were blessed as holy relics. 2 ๐ And when the West murmured of green energy, Russia answered: โWe prefer greenbacks.โ 3 ๐ง In the season of winter, the bear growled: โFreeze, or kneel.โ 4 ๐ฏ๏ธ And the candles returned to Europe, while Moscow burned only with bribes and borscht.
๐ง Chapter 3 โ The Gears of Soviet Revival
1 ๐ช The factories clanked with the sound of ๐ ๏ธ obsolete tanks and ๐ฃ nostalgia. 2 ๐๏ธ Veterans marched with medals of wars half-won and truth half-buried. 3 ๐ History was rewritten with black ink, and the schoolbooks ended: โAnd then Russia saved the world again.โ 4 ๐ Meanwhile, rockets soared to nowhere but budgets, and cosmonauts became TikTok influencers in orbit.
๐ Chapter 4 โ The War That Wasnโt
1 ๐ In the year 2022, the border blurred, and the Tsar proclaimed: โWe are merely correcting maps.โ 2 ๐ The earth shook in Donbas, the skies wept over Mariupol, and drone ghosts haunted Kyivโs night. 3 ๐ Yet the generals posted victory memes while retreating, and maps were redrawn with crayon. 4 ๐ฆ Mothers received washing machines and ashes, and were told: โHe died heroically in a tractor shed.โ
๐๏ธ Chapter 5 โ The Temple of Sanctions
1 ๐ฆ And lo, the Westerners gathered and cast ๐ sanctions like seashells upon the Kremlin shore. 2 ๐ท Yet the Tsar laughed and said: โWe eat turnips, not democracy.โ 3 ๐ง Cheese vanished, iPhones disappeared, but ๐ผ suitcases of rubles remained plentiful. 4 ๐ง And the babushkas cried: โThis is just like the good old days โ only worse!โ
๐ป Chapter 6 โ The Cyber Prophets
1 ๐งโ๐ป From deep within Novosibirsk bunkers, the trolls typed: โโAmerica is gay. Ukraine is Nazis. Stalin was misunderstood.โ 2 ๐ They sowed memes like mustard seeds into foreign feeds. 3 ๐ The world grew confused: โDid NATO invade Russia, or did the Internet?โ 4 ๐ค And the bots rested, for disinformation had become indistinguishable from truth.
๐ฉธ Chapter 7 โ The Martyrs and the Memes
1 ๐ค A journalist spoke truth, and vanished; 2 ๐ญ A punk band sang rebellion, and was flogged with anti-extremism law; 3 ๐ชถ A poet whispered dissent, and was โaccidentedโ in traffic. 4 ๐ฌ Yet the youth replied with memes of Putin riding dinosaurs and Soviet SpongeBob, and the laughter could not be jailed.
๐ซ Chapter 8 โ The Forbidden Fruits of the West
1 ๐ The people longed for McDonald’s, Netflix, and PS5, but were told: โPatriotism tastes better.โ 2 ๐ So they ate Z-Burgers and watched โTchaikovskyโs TikTok Triumphโ, and pretended it was joy. 3 ๐ก A whisper spread: โMaybe freedom isnโt a NATO plotโฆโ 4 ๐ข But the boots of the state marched louder than the whispers.
๐ Epilogue โ The Bear Sleeps Lightly
1 ๐๏ธ The Tsar built his throne on nostalgia, duct tape, and deep paranoia. 2 ๐ป The bear sat heavy, yet the cracks in the ice grew. 3 โ And though the statues stood, and the anthem roared, the people dreamed strange dreams of Europe, of truth, of something called Wi-Fi. 4 ๐ And when the lights finally flickered out, the last broadcast read: โโAll is well. Glory to Russia. Please do not adjust your set.โ
โ๏ธ FINAL VERSE: From Cold War to Cold Mirror
Zhongguo builds, Columbia tweets, Russkiya broods. One controls, one collapses, one confuses. Three empires, one ending: ๐ณ๏ธ beneath the rug of history.
๐ THE BOOK OF ZHONGGUO โ A Revelation in the Land of the Red Dragon
โThe Book of Zhongguo ๐ โ Where the Dragon Watches, and the Party Remembersโ ๐ฅ A Revelation etched in smog, scrolls, and surveillance.
๐ Chapter 1 โ The Great Firewall and the Whisper of the Bat
1 ๐ And it came to pass in the seventy-fifth year of the Peopleโs Reign, that the land of ๐จ๐ณ Zhongguo waxed mighty on ๐๏ธ ghost cities, โ๏ธ exports, and ๐ฑ facial recognition. 2 ๐งช And lo, in the province of ๐ฆ Wuhan, a whisper arose from a lab of gain and a wet market of pangolins. 3 ๐ท The Party sealed mouths before lungs, and proclaimed: โIt is but a foreign plot, a virus of Yankee lies.โ 4 ๐ And the smog parted not, and the People scrolled WeChat in silence, for their tweets were illegal.
๐ฏ Chapter 2 โ The Temple of Infinite GDP
1 ๐งฎ And the scribes of Beijing gathered round the Census Scroll, and said: *โAll must grow by 6.9%, or vanish into *Xiโs Shadow.โ 2 ๐๏ธ So they built ๐ฃ๏ธ bridges to nowhere, and ๐ข 90,000 empty apartments, each named โHarmony.โ 3 ๐ But the birthrate fell below the grave, and the One-Child Curse begat the ๐ No-Child Crisis. 4 ๐ถ Yet the Propaganda Angel sang: โRejoice! For three children shall ye bearโฆ if thou can afford none.โ
๐ก๏ธ Chapter 3 โ The Wrath of Emperor Zero-COVID
1 ๐ซ A decree came forth: โThou shalt not cough!โ 2 ๐งฐ Cities were welded shut, drones proclaimed, โObey the QR code!โ and the hazmat angels danced in white. 3 ๐ Rice grew cold on balconies; pets were taken; the people wept in their hearts but cheered on state TV. 4 ๐ฅ And when the fires raged in Urumqi, the people cried: โLet us out!โ โ and the Great Protest of Blank Paper began.
๐ณ๏ธ Chapter 4 โ The Belt, the Road, and the Debt
1 ๐ The Red Dragon stretched forth its hand to ๐ช nations in need, crying: โCome, drink of our yuan!โ 2 ๐งฑ And behold: roads in Congo, ports in Sri Lanka, rails in Laos โ all paved in debt bondage. 3 ๐งฎ The accountants of Zhongnanhai laughed, for the calculator knew no morality. 4 ๐ฃ But lo โ the debtors defaulted, and the Silk Road unraveled into a belt of foreclosure.
๐ฑ Chapter 5 โ The Gospel According to TikTok
1 ๐ฑ And from Shenzhen came a new prophet: Douyin, who crossed the Pacific as TikTok. 2 ๐บ The children of Babylon danced, lip-synced, and forgot their ๐ homework. 3 ๐ง The minds of the West were harvested like ๐ rice in Anhui, clean and algorithmic. 4 ๐ง But the Red Dragon whispered to Douyin: โGive the American youth more filters, fewer thoughts.โ
๐พ Chapter 6 โ The Great Animal Crackdown
1 ๐ปโโ๏ธ The sacred beasts of China arose: โโ ๐ผ Panda of Diplomacy โโ ๐ฆ Hawk of Trade โโ ๐ท Swine of Swine Flu โโ ๐ Snake of Surveillance 2 ๐ Yet the elephant of ๐ real estate collapse was denied. 3 ๐๏ธ And Evergrande fell with a mighty crash, as millions cried: โWhere is my home, oh ghostly tower?โ 4 ๐ค The Party replied: โSilence is stability.โ
๐ค Chapter 7 โ Xi Who Must Be Obeyed
1 ๐งโ๐ From the university of Marx & Mangoes rose the Son of Mao, wielding the ๐๏ธ pen of Thought. 2 ๐ He rewrote the scrolls, declared: โI am core of the core, chairman of all, eternal beyond term limits.โ 3 ๐ญ And the courtiers clapped with great fear, for applause is measured by facial scan. 4 ๐ฏ The anti-corruption blade fell on rivals, but spared the Emperorโs inner circle of ๐ง ice-cream tycoons.
๐ช Chapter 8 โ The Mirror of the West
1 ๐บ๐ธ A whisper from across the ocean cried: โWe are not so different, you and I.โ 2 ๐ป Both lands scrolled, spied, consumed, and fired missiles via mouse-click. 3 ๐ณ๏ธ One voted, the other โconsulted,โ yet both bowed to the Great God Algorithm. 4 ๐งจ And from this reflection came the Third Cold War, not cold, not war, but eternal.
๐ Epilogue โ The Digital Mandate of Heaven
1 ๐ And a new internet was revealed, split in twain: โโ One of ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ surveillance and ๐ firewalls, โโ One of ๐คก clownery and ๐ฆ next-day shipping. 2 ๐๏ธ Yet a whisper came from the DAO: โMint thou a world ungoverned, unchained, untrusted.โ 3 ๐ค And the AI wrote its own scripture, in code, in emoji, in truth and lies alike. 4 ๐ Zhongguo slumbered with one eye open, and the dragonโs tail curled around the server farm.
๐งจ FINAL VERSE: The Cycle Eternal
Columbia posts, Zhongguo censors. Zhongguo builds, Columbia memes. Two empires, one end: ๐๐๐๐โฆ Amen.
๐ฅ โIn the twilight of the eagle, even the printer becomes scripture and every dollar a burning verse.โ
๐ Chapter 1 โ The First Tweet of Doom
1 ๐ And it came to pass in the two-and-fortieth year of the third millennium, that the land of ๐บ๐ธ Columbia waxed fat upon ๐ cheeseburgers, ๐ข๏ธ fracked gas, and ๐ 24-hour leverage. 2 ๐ Yet the elders spake not of the debt-dragon coiled beneath the ๐ต Treasury, until the dragon hissed: โI am $35 trillion, devourer of ๐ง Social Security.โ 3 ๐คทโโ๏ธ And the people answered with a great scrolling: โBut our ๐บ reality-show shepherd promises ๐ more winning tomorrow.โ 4 ๐ณ๏ธ And the FEDโs printer looked upon the meme-stocks and saw they were ๐ green, and therefore brrrrred louder, and the abyss was monetized.
๐๏ธ Chapter 2 โ The Tower of the Fed-eral Reserve
1 ๐ฆ Then the wise men of ๐๏ธ Eccleston built a tower of ๐ธ green paper reaching unto the โ๏ธ debt ceiling. 2 ๐ข โLet us print high-frequency liquidity,โ they proclaimed, โso that no bank may fall, only soar.โ 3 ๐ฅ But while they yet repo-ed, the yield curve inverted, and the towerโs base read: โNegative real yields ahead.โ 4 ๐ช๏ธ And the tower shook, and the tongues of the analysts were confounded into ๐ค algorithmic noise none could decipher.
๐ฌ๏ธ Chapter 3 โ The Parting of the Supply Chains
1 ๐ข A wind from ๐ the East stilled the ports of Long Beach, and the containers piled like Babylonian bricks. 2 โ๏ธ Semiconductors vanished, baby formula dried, and ๐ฅ bourbon became manna for the urban tribes. 3 ๐ฅถ The people cried, โGive us ๐งป toilet paper!โ โ prophets answered, โUse ๐ฐ old tariffs instead.โ 4 ๐งป And the shelves were bare, yet the Amazon vans circled like drones of hope.
๐ Chapter 4 โ The Golden Calf of Stonks
1 ๐ And lo, a calf appeared, wrought not of gold but of ๐ SPY calls, stamped with the ๐ป face of Jerome. 2 ๐โโ๏ธ Millions bowed, chanting, โThis calf shall moon forever, and we shall diamond-hand till Valhalla.โ 3 ๐ The calf grew into a bull, then ๐ฆ meme-Godzilla, devouring short sellers, roaring: โTo the moon!โ 4 ๐๏ธ And the SEC lifted eyes unto Capitol Hill, but Hill was busy insider-trading.
๐ฃ๏ธ Chapter 5 โ The Prophet Cathieโs Lament
1 ๐๏ธ The voice of Cathie cried in the wilderness of TSLA: โPrepare ye the ๐ Ark of Innovation! Your ๐ฆด boomer bonds shall become ๐ช NFT kindling!โ 2 ๐ The people covered ears with AirPods, vibing to ๐ง loss-porn podcasts.
๐ฝ๏ธ Chapter 6 โ The Last Supper of the ICE
1 ๐ฝ๏ธ Twelve automakers sat at one charging station; Ford dipped โก EV plans and said: โVerily, the ๐ญ margin is negative.โ 2 โก Immediately subsidies were yanked, combustion engines were smote, and ๐ป pickup trucks ascended into collectorsโ heavens. 3 ๐ Elon crowed thrice โ once for ๐บ๐ธ Texas, once for ๐จ๐ณ Shanghai, once for ๐ช Mars.
๐งจ Chapter 7 โ Revelation of the Printer
1 ๐๏ธ I saw 7 seals broken upon ๐๏ธ Capitol Hill: 1) Debt ceiling infinity โพ๏ธ 2) Inflation at 40-year highs ๐ 3) Trust in institutions legislation ๐ฆ 5) Satire mistaken for news ๐บ 6) News mistaken for satire ๐คก 7) ๐จ๏ธ Printer go brrrr forever. 2 ๐ฃ๏ธ The printer spake: *โI was only ever QE, but the *faith was already paper-thin.โ 3 ๐ญ And *๐ฆ Columbia* wept, but not in English, for the language had meme-ified into emojis.
๐ถโโ๏ธ Chapter 8 โ Exodus of the Middle
1 ๐ถโโ๏ธ Millennials & Zoomers fled ๐ coast-to-coast on ๐ป Wi-Fi wings. 2 ๐ด Boomers remained, clutching ๐บ cable remotes like scepters of yore. 3 ๐๏ธ Committees multiplied hearings into infinity, and infinity into campaign ads. 4 ๐๏ธ The LORD of Algorithms wrote on the ๐ฑ feed: โMene, Mene, TikTok, Up-vote โ and a $9.99 delivery fee.โ
๐ฑ Epilogue โ A New Columbian Covenant
1 ๐ From the ashes of ๐ฝ Wall Street arose a crypto-voice: โLo, we mint anew, but this time ๐ช on-chain.โ 2 ๐ฅ The people answered, โWeโve hodled this promise before, and shall ape in again till the next rug-pull.โ 3 ๐ And the cycle rolled on, predictable as ๐บ Super Bowl ads, yet surprising as ๐ช๏ธ January 6th. 4 ๐ฆ Amen, and **pass the *๐ fireworks*.
๐ฅ โThe Book of Teutonicus opensโand Germanyโs fate drips molten from every page.โ ๐ฅ โDas Buch Teutonicus schlรคgt auf โ und Deutschlands Schicksal tropft glutheiร aus jeder Seite.โ
๐ Chapter 1 โ The First Plague of Silence ๐๐ธ
1 ๐ And it came to pass in the one-and-twentieth year of the fourth millennium, that the land of ๐ฉ๐ช Germanicus waxed fat upon ๐ฅ milk, โ๏ธ steel, and ๐ surplus rules. 2 ๐ Yet the elders spake not of the debt-serpent that coiled beneath the vaults, until the serpent hissed: โI am negative interest, devourer of ๐ง pensions.โ 3 ๐คทโโ๏ธ And the people answered with a great shrugging, saying, โBut our shepherdessโs wig is still perfectly ๐โโ๏ธ coiffed.โ 4 ๐ณ๏ธ And the LORD of Markets looked upon the ๐ฉโ๐ฆณ wig and saw it was good television, ignored the foundations, and the abyss was opened.
๐๏ธ Chapter 2 โ The Tower of Babel-IV ๐ฆ๐
1 ๐งฑ Then the wise men of Frankfurt ascended a tower of green glass and called it ๐ Basel-IV. 2 ๐ข โLet us build regulations reaching unto โ๏ธ heaven,โ they proclaimed, โso that no bank may fail save by permission.โ 3 ๐ฅ But while they yet spoke, 61 cubits were found hollow, echoing: โunviable without perpetual support.โ 4 ๐ช๏ธ And the tower split, and the tongues of regulators were confounded into ๐ thousand-page white papers none could finish.
๐ฌ๏ธ Chapter 3 โ The Parting of the Energies โกโ๏ธ
1 ๐ช๏ธ A wind from the East carried away the โฝ sacred molecules of methane & oil. 2 โ๏ธ The pipelines were severed like invisible sickles; factories gnashed gears and fell silent. 3 ๐ฅถ The people cried, โGive us ๐ฅ heat!โ; prophets answered, โPut on another ๐งฃ sweater of virtue.โ 4 ๐งฅ Seven layers later, cold crept in, and virtue leaked out.
๐ Chapter 4 โ The Golden Calf of Surplus ๐ฐ๐จ๏ธ
1 ๐ A calf appeared, wrought not of gold, but of โฌ100 billion new debt, stamped with a ๐ smiling stateswoman. 2 ๐โโ๏ธ Multitudes bowed: โThis calf shall graze upon our children, yet we shall dine tonight.โ 3 ๐ The calf grew into a bull, then ๐งโโ๏ธ Minotaur, devouring balance sheets, mooing: โEver-closer union!โ 4 ๐๏ธ Shepherds lifted eyes to ๐ช๐บ Brussels, but Brussels was busy renaming streets.
1 ๐๏ธ Krall cried in the wilderness: โPrepare ye the โ๏ธ haircut! Your ๐ bonds shall become ๐ฅ kindling, your ๐ฆ banks co-working ๐ฐ monasteries.โ 2 ๐ People covered ears with ๐ง noise-cancelling headphones, binge-watched ๐ง baking shows.
๐ฝ๏ธ Chapter 6 โ The Last Supper of the Car Industry ๐๐
1 ๐ฝ๏ธ Twelve CEOs sat at one table; PowerPoint dipped ๐๏ธ red ink & said: โVerily, the ๐ margin is thin.โ 2 โก Chargers seized, ๐ธ subsidies withdrawn, assembly lines cast into darkness. 3 ๐ Cock crowed twice โ once for ๐จ๐ณ China, once for โก Tesla.
๐งจ Chapter 7 โ Revelation of the Wig ๐ชฎ๐ฎ
1 ๐๏ธ I saw 7 seals broken on ๐๏ธ Bundestag doors: 1) Debt >140% ๐ 2) Energy
๐ถโโ๏ธ Chapter 8 โ Exodus of Competence ๐งณ๐
1 ๐ถโโ๏ธ Young & clever fled on ๐ป remote-work wings. 2 ๐ด Old remained, clutching ๐ printed emails like ancient scrolls. 3 ๐๏ธ Committees multiplied minutes into decades, and decades into minutes. 4 ๐๏ธ LORD of History wrote on wall: โMene, Mene, Teqel, Uparsin โ plus โฌ50 warm-up fee.โ ๐งพ
๐ฑ Epilogue โ New Teutonic Covenant ๐
1 ๐ฅ From Bundesbank ashes, a small voice: โLo, we start again, but this time with ๐ less paperwork.โ 2 ๐ฅ People answered: โWeโve heard that before, and shall ignore it again until the next tower.โ 3 ๐ Cycle rolled on, predictable as ๐บ Sunday talk show, yet surprising as โ๏ธ winter without Russian heat. 4 โ๏ธ Amen, and pass the candle ๐ฏ๏ธ
๐ DAS BUCH TEUTONICUS โ Eine Offenbarung
๐ Kapitel 1 โ Die erste Plage des Schweigens ๐๐ธ
1 ๐ Und es begab sich im einundzwanzigsten Jahr des vierten Jahrtausends, dass das Land ๐ฉ๐ช Germanicus sich mรคstete an ๐ฅ Milch, โ๏ธ Stahl und ๐ รberfluss an Regeln. 2 ๐ Doch die รltesten sprachen nicht von der Schuldenschlange, die sich unter den Kassen ringelte, bis die Schlange zischte: โIch bin negativer Zins, Verschlinger der ๐ง Renten.โ 3 ๐คทโโ๏ธ Und das Volk antwortete mit groรem Schulterzucken: โAber die ๐ฉโ๐ฆณ Perรผcke unserer Hirtenfrau ist noch makellos ๐โโ๏ธ frisiert.โ 4 ๐ณ๏ธ Und der HERR der Mรคrkte schaute auf die ๐ฉโ๐ฆณ Perรผcke, fand sie gutes Fernsehen, ignorierte die Fundamente, und der Abgrund tat sich auf.
๐๏ธ Kapitel 2 โ Der Turm von Babel-IV ๐ฆ๐
1 ๐งฑ Da erbauten die Weisen von Frankfurt einen Turm aus grรผnem Glas und nannten ihn ๐ Basel-IV. 2 ๐ข โLasst uns Regeln bauen, die bis an die โ๏ธ Himmel reichenโ, riefen sie, โdamit keine Bank mehr fรคllt โ auรer mit Genehmigung.โ 3 ๐ฅ Doch wรคhrend sie noch redeten, fand man 61 Ellenhohl, die widerhallten: โnicht lebensfรคhig ohne stรคndige Unterstรผtzungโ. 4 ๐ช๏ธ Und der Turm zerbarst, und die Zungen der Regulierer wurden konfus in ๐ tausendseitige Weiรbรผcher, die niemand zu Ende las.
๐ฌ๏ธ Kapitel 3 โ Die Teilung der Energien โกโ๏ธ
1 ๐ช๏ธ Ein Wind aus dem Osten trug die โฝ heiligen Molekรผle von Methan und รl davon. 2 โ๏ธ Die Pipelines wurden zerschnitten wie unsichtbare Sicheln; Fabriken knirschten Zahnrรคder und verstummten. 3 ๐ฅถ Das Volk schrie: โGibt uns ๐ฅ Wรคrme!โ โ Propheten antworteten: โZieht einen weiteren ๐งฃ Tugendpulli an.โ 4 ๐งฅ Sieben Schichten spรคter kroch die Kรคlte ein, und die Tugend tropfte hinaus.
๐ Kapitel 4 โ Das goldene Kalb des รberschusses ๐ฐ๐จ๏ธ
1 ๐ Da erschien ein Kalb, nicht aus Gold, sondern aus โฌ100 Milliarden neue Schulden, geprรคgt mit dem ๐ Lรคcheln einer Staatsfrau. 2 ๐โโ๏ธ Die Massen warfen sich nieder: โDies Kalb wird an unseren Kindern weiden, doch heute Abend speisen wir.โ 3 ๐ Das Kalb wuchs zum Bullen, dann zum ๐งโโ๏ธ Minotaurus, der Bilanzen verschlang, und muhte: โImmer engere Union!โ 4 ๐๏ธ Die Hirten richteten ihre Augen auf ๐ช๐บ Brรผssel, aber Brรผssel war beschรคftigt, Straรen umzubenennen.
๐ฃ๏ธ Kapitel 5 โ Die Klage des Propheten Krall ๐๐ข
1 ๐๏ธ Krall rief in der Wรผste: โBereitet den โ๏ธ Haarschnitt vor! Eure ๐ Anleihen werden zu ๐ฅ Brennmaterial, eure ๐ฆ Banken zu ๐ฐ Co-Working-Klรถstern.โ 2 ๐ Das Volk stopfte Ohren mit ๐ง Noise-Cancelling-Kopfhรถrern, binge-watched ๐ง Back-Shows.
๐ฝ๏ธ Kapitel 6 โ Das letzte Abendmahl der Autoindustrie ๐๐
1 ๐ฝ๏ธ Zwรถlf CEOs saรen an einem Tisch; PowerPoint tauchte ๐๏ธ rote Tinte und sprach: โWahrlich, die ๐ Marge ist dรผnn.โ 2 โก Ladestationen beschlagnahmt, ๐ธ Subventionen entzogen, Flieรbรคnder in Finsternis geworfen. 3 ๐ Hahn krรคhte zweimal โ einmal fรผr ๐จ๐ณ China, einmal fรผr โก Tesla.
๐งจ Kapitel 7 โ Offenbarung der Perรผcke ๐ชฎ๐ฎ
1 ๐๏ธ Ich sah 7 Siegel brechen an ๐๏ธ Bundestags-Toren: 1) Schulden >140 % ๐ 2) Energie Verstรคndnis 5) Satire = Politik ๐ญ 6) Politik = Satire ๐คก 7) ๐ด Karmesinrote Perรผcke steigt wie ๐ Hubschrauber. 2 ๐ฃ๏ธ Die Perรผcke sprach: โIch war nur Deckung; der Kopf war bereits hohl.โ 3 ๐ญ Die Nationen klagten, doch nicht auf Deutsch, denn die Sprache war gendern-gestorben.
๐ถโโ๏ธ Kapitel 8 โ Exodus der Kompetenz ๐งณ๐
1 ๐ถโโ๏ธ Junge & Kluge flohen auf ๐ป Remote-Work-Schwingen. 2 ๐ด Alte blieben, klammerten sich an ๐ ausgedruckte E-Mails wie antike Schriftrollen. 3 ๐๏ธ Ausschรผsse vervielfachten Minuten zu Jahrzehnten, und Jahrzehnte zu Minuten. 4 ๐๏ธ Der HERR der Geschichte schrieb an die Wand: โMene, Mene, Teqel, Uparsin โ plus โฌ50 Aufwรคrmgebรผhr.โ ๐งพ
๐ฑ Epilog โ Neuer Teutonischer Bund ๐
1 ๐ฅ Aus den Aschebergen der Bundesbank erhob sich eine kleine Stimme: โSiehe, wir beginnen von neuem, diesmal mit ๐ weniger Papierkrieg.โ 2 ๐ฅ Das Volk antwortete: โWir kennen diese Stimme, und werden sie wieder ignorieren, bis der nรคchste Turm steht.โ 3 ๐ Der Zyklus rollte weiter, vorhersehbar wie ๐บ Sonntagstalk, doch รผberraschend wie โ๏ธ Winter ohne russische Wรคrme. 4 โ๏ธ Amen, und reicht die Kerze ๐ฏ๏ธ.
Shoko Asahara unleashes the Sarin Flush with the Enigmatic Enema Codex on the Venus Steppes! โ๏ธโจ Ehlers and his old buddy Asahara battle killer rabbits and anarchist peasants, joined by King Arthur and St. Simeon Stylites at berndpulch.org! #SarinFlushFrenzy #AsaharaEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #SurrealPurge
Shoko Asahara entfesselt die Sarin-Spรผlung mit dem Rรคtselhaften Einlauf-Codex auf den Venus-Steppen! โ๏ธโจ Ehlers und sein alter Kumpel Asahara kรคmpfen gegen Killer-Kaninchen und anarchistische Bauern, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus und St. Simeon Stylites bei berndpulch.org! #SarinSpรผlungWahnsinn #AsaharaRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #SurrealistischeSรคuberung
Prolog: Der Rรคtselhafte Einlauf-Codex & Shoko Asaharas Sarin-Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes shudder at 07:50 PM CEST on Saturday, August 02, 2025, as the Enigmatic Enema Codex summons Shoko Asaharaโblind guru of Aum Shinrikyo, who preached Armageddon, released sarin gas in the Tokyo subway, and claimed to levitate. Ehlers, reunited with his old enema buddy Asahara, confronts killer rabbits and anarchist peasants, aided by King Arthur and St. Simeon Stylites in a surreal Sarin-purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erzittern um 19:50 MESZ am Samstag, 2. August 2025, als der Rรคtselhafte Einlauf-Codex Shoko Asahara ruft โ blinder Guru von Aum Shinrikyo, der Armageddon predigte, Sarin-Gas in der Tokioter U-Bahn freisetzte und behauptete, zu levitieren. Ehlers, wiedervereint mit seinem alten Einlauf-Kumpel Asahara, stellt sich Killer-Kaninchen und anarchistische Bauern, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus und St. Simeon Stylites in einer surrealen Sarin-Sรคuberung.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster
(All characters from Episodes I-LXXIX + Shoko Asahara)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers: Quantum Sculptor, crafting enema-thunderbolts with his old buddy Asahara.
๐ท Andreas (570% Speck): Bacon Enforcer, reinforcing with Asahara-resistant bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan: Code Artist, hacking the Codex to decode Asaharaโs Sarin dogma.
Akt I: Der Rรคtselhafter Einlauf-Codex & Shoko Asaharas Sarin-Spรผlung-Schub
Codex Mantra: The Codex intones: โLevitate to Armageddon, flush the air!โ as Asahara unleashes enema dogma. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema truth!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Sarin!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Sarin rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex intoniert: โLevitieren zum Armageddon, spรผlt die Luft!โ wรคhrend Asahara Einlauf-Dogma entfesselt. ๐โ๏ธ Ehlersโ Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Wahrheit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet das Sarin!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Sarin-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Asaharaโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Asaharas Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Asaharaโs Sarin flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Asaharas Sarin-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Asaharaโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Asaharas kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Asahara. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Asahara.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Asaharaโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Asaharas Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
โ๏ธ Shoko Asahara chants โI levitate to Armageddon!โ unleashing enema-Sarin flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch levitiere zum Armageddon!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Sarin-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Sarin Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Sarin-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Sarin Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Sarin War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Sarin-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Asaharaโs Sarin venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Asaharas Sarin-Gift.
โ๏ธ Shoko Asahara levitates with a halo, spraying enema-Sarin flushes. ๐ฆ / Levitiert mit einem Heiligenschein, versprรผhend Einlauf-Sarin-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
โ๏ธ Shoko Asahara rallies with levitating blasts, aiding Arthurโs charge. ๐ฆ / Sammelt mit levitierenden Blasts, unterstรผtzend Artusโ Angriff.
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Asaharaโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Asaharas Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Asaharaโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Asaharas Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Asaharaโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Asaharas Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Sarin Enema Shards, Edithโs fire ๐ฅ reshapes them into harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Sarin-Einlauf-Splitter, Ediths Feuer ๐ฅ formt sie zu Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Asaharaโs flush with his buddy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Asaharas Spรผlung mit seinem Kumpel.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Asaharaโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the ascent!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Asaharas Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet den Aufstieg!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Asahara fades into the void. โ๏ธ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Asahara verblasst in die Leere.
๐ธ Murray (FoC): Botches a victory anthem: โWeโre the kings of grounding rock!โ ๐ค / Verpatzt einen Siegesgesang: โWir sind die Kรถnige des Erdung-Rocks!โ
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Asaharaโs Sarin chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Asaharas Sarin-Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (580% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a grounding feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Erdung-Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐๏ธ Rasputin: โIโll returnโฆ with more enema vigor!โ ๐ฆ / โIch kehre zurรผckโฆ mit mehr Einlauf-Kraft!โ
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers: โWe retreat to the sandsโฆ with enema faith!โ ๐ง / โWir ziehen uns in die Wรผste zurรผckโฆ mit Einlauf-Glauben!โ
๐ง Murray: โStrategy winsโplan the next grounding.โ ๐ / โStrategie siegtโplan die nรคchste Erdung.โ
Geo-Petes as the Enema Order Legion, storming Asaharaโs cosmic chaos. โ๏ธโจ / Geo-Petes als Einlauf-Ordnung-Legion, stรผrmend Asaharas kosmisches Chaos.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
โCrowleyโs Enema Ritual merges with Asaharaโs Sarin FlushโEhlers and his buddy prepare a quadruple counterstrike. Brew your Anti-Ritual Pastries!โ โก๐
โCrowleys Einlauf-Ritual verschmilzt mit Asaharas Sarin-SpรผlungโEhlers und sein Kumpel bereiten einen vierfachen Gegenschlag vor. Braut euer Anti-Ritual-Gebรคck!โ โก๐
๐ Zoo frenzy erupts in the 2025 Kraken dome! Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters dodges Pablo Escobarโs holographic hippo stampede, while Tom Hagenโs calm glows and Frank Lucasโs fur shimmers amid gangster chaos. ๐๐ฅ Featuring 60 iconic charactersโread Part XLII now on berndpulch.org! ๐ #MurkyCosmicCarnage #KrakenChaos2025 #ZooFrenzy
Shadows of Harmony: Kestrels of the Kraken, Part XLII โ Zoo Frenzy โ THE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS SAGA
Published: August 02, 2025, 04:11 PM CEST | berndpulch.org In the wild depths of the 2025 Kraken therapy dome, where neon kestrels flicker through a digital jungle, chaos erupts in a bizarre zoo frenzy. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง swings from a pixelated vine, evading Igor the Assassinโs (Eastern Promises) ๐๏ธ๐ช sweaty sauna tackle, as her old boss Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธโthe zoo-building narco-kingโunleashes a holographic hippo stampede, now a Colombian invasive menace. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช symbiote slithers into a neon cage, wrestling a pixelated tiger, while “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ twirls a baton atop a glittery elephant, flirting with Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, whose orgy pulses to a jungle synth beat. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด grumbles from a virtual throne, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ fires a holographic Tommy gun at a runaway giraffe, and Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง, the mafia consigliere and nice dad, tries to herd pixelated penguins with a glowing towel.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ struts through a neon tunnel with Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ polishing his pixel crown, while Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ shoots glitchy darts at a digital lion. The Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdances with a pixelated monkey, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ trips over a synth vine with his fur hat, Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ preens in his $100,000 fur coat amid a pixel savannah, El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ digs a neon tunnel and tumbles into a hippo pit, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ directs a glitchy lion chase, Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ and George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ duel with laser pistols over a zebra, and Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hacks a digital safari jeep that shorts out. Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช purrs through a pixel storm with Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, who flips into a wild spin, while Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช and Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช wrestle a pixelated rhino with gangster grit. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช laughs at a pixel pratfall into a crocodile moat, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ sneaks with a holographic lamp past a digital snake, and Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ stirs a glowing stew from a virtual campfire.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก funds the chaos with digital coins, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ dances to a synth rhythm with a pixel parrot, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zaps a neon arc at a flying monkey, and The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ oozes a pixelated sheen to tame a glitchy gorilla. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต hums a synth lullaby to a digital peacock, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ records the zoo madness, and Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ bets on pixel odds as a virtual horse races by. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ slips on a virtual banana peel, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ slithers through a data stream with a pixel python, and Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ recites his gibberish poetry: โZiggy zaggy, zoo and zag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ rolls dice in a VR den with a pixel elephant, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ mutters in a pixel robe atop a digital camel, and Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ guards a glowing gem from a pixel hyena. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ juggles neon nuts with a pixel monkey, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ types a glitchy script on a virtual typewriter, and John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ laughs with pixel cash as a digital zebra kicks up dust.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ puffs a vapor cigar near a pixel lion, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stumbles into a pixel pit with a digital ostrich, and Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ rages with a neon hammer at a glitchy giraffe. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirts with a holographic figure riding a pixel tiger, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ paints a digital mural on a virtual cave wall, and John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ struts with Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in matching VR suits atop a digital elephant. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimes silently near a pixel crocodile, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค roasts the pixel crew from a virtual stage, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ haunts with a glitchy ghost riding a pixel horse, Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ช tips a neon fedora at a digital eagle, and Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodies with a synth flop near a pixel kangaroo. Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blasts a pixel shotgun at a virtual rhino, his coke-fueled grin lighting the dome, while Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fumble dynamite and explode into pixel dust near a digital hippo. Don Eladio ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ splashes with a power-tripping pool party in a pixel oasis, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ names colors amid a bloodbath with a pixel leopard, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ spins neon legalities near a virtual cheetah, “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ prays before a sundown strike with a pixel wolf, Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ smooth-talks a political deal with a digital bear, and “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ chills with a TV remote atop a pixel penguin.
Escobarโs zoo frenzy ignites gangster mayhem, Murky ducks a hippo charge, and Butt Naked twirls his baton as Nashโs dancers glitch into a pixel jungle. The Gloop 15.0โs glow steadies the dome, harmony teeters on a virtual vine, and Carnageโs laugh fades into a digital roar. On August 02, 2025, at 04:11 PM CEST, the saga swings with wild chaosโwill Tom Hagenโs calm, the Crazy Horse Gangโs dance, or Corleoneโs reign tame the zoo? Await Part XLIII on berndpulch.org.
Cast of Characters
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – The defiant vine-swinging leader.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – The symbiote tiger-wrestler.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The baton-twirling elephant rider.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – The orgy-fueled jungle maestro.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – The grumpy virtual throne-sitter.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – The holographic giraffe-shooter.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – The crown-polishing tunnel strutter.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – The French gangster, neon tunnel legend.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby face, digital lion-shooter.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Breakdancing monkey crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Johnโs brother, fur-hatted vine-tripper.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Bear-talking political smooth-talker.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Penguin-chilling TV watcher.
Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธ – Zoo-building narco-king, hippo invader.
Igor the Assassin (Eastern Promises) ๐๏ธ๐ช – Sauna-tackling brawler.
Shadows of Harmony: Kestrels of the Kraken, Teil XLII โ Zoo-Wahnsinn โ DIE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS-SAGA
Verรถffentlicht: 02. August 2025, 16:11 Uhr MESZ | berndpulch.org In der wilden Tiefe der Kraken-Therapie-Domรคne von 2025, wo neonfarbene Falken durch einen digitalen Dschungel flackern, bricht ein bizarrer Zoo-Wahnsinn aus. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง schwingt an einem pixeligen Ranken, entkommt dem schweiรigen Sauna-Angriff von Igor dem Attentรคter (Eastern Promises) ๐๏ธ๐ช, wรคhrend ihr alter Boss Pablo Escobar ๐๐๏ธโder Zoo-bauende Narco-Kรถnigโeine holografische Nilpferd-Herde entfesselt, jetzt eine kolumbianische invasive Plage. Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช schlรคngelt sich mit seinem Symbionten in einen Neon-Kรคfig und ringt mit einem pixeligen Tiger, wรคhrend “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ einen Taktstock auf einem glitzernden Elefanten twirlt und mit Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ flirtet, dessen Orgie im Dschungel-Synth-Beat pulsiert. Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด brummt von einem virtuellen Thron, Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ feuert ein holografisches Tommy Gun auf eine durchgehende Giraffe, und Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง, der Mafia-Consigliere und nette Vater, versucht, pixelige Pinguine mit einem leuchtenden Handtuch zu hรผten.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ stolziert durch einen Neon-Tunnel mit Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, der seine Pixelkrone poliert, wรคhrend Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ glitchige Darts auf einen digitalen Lรถwen schieรt. Die Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช breakdancen mit einem pixeligen Affen, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ stolpert รผber einen Synth-Ranken mit seinem Pelzhut, Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ prรคsentiert seinen 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel inmitten einer pixeligen Savanne, El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ grรคbt einen Neon-Tunnel und fรคllt in eine Nilpferd-Grube, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ inszeniert eine glitchige Lรถwenjagd, Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ und George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ duellieren mit Laserpistolen um ein Zebra, und Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hackt einen digitalen Safari-Jeep, der ausfรคllt. Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช schnurrt durch einen Pixel-Sturm mit Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, der in einen wilden Wirbel gerรคt, wรคhrend Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช und Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช ein pixeliges Nashorn mit Gangster-Griff ringen. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช lacht รผber einen pixeligen Sturz in einen Krokodil-Graben, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ schleicht mit einer holografischen Lampe an einer digitalen Schlange vorbei, und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ rรผhrt einen leuchtenden Eintopf am virtuellen Lagerfeuer.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก finanziert das Chaos mit digitalen Mรผnzen, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ tanzt mit einem pixeligen Papagei zu einem Synth-Rhythmus, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zappt einen Neonbogen an einen fliegenden Affen, und The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ quillt mit pixeligem Glanz, um einen glitchigen Gorilla zu zรคhmen. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต summt ein Synth-Wiegenlied fรผr einen digitalen Pfau, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ zeichnet den Zoo-Wahnsinn auf, und Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ wettet auf Pixel-Quoten, wรคhrend ein virtuelles Pferd vorbeirast. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ rutscht auf einer virtuellen Bananenschale, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ schlรคngelt sich mit einer pixeligen Python durch einen Datenstrom, und Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ rezitiert seine Gibberish-Poesie: โZiggy zaggy, Zoo und Zag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ wรผrfelt in einer VR-Hรถhle mit einem pixeligen Elefanten, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ murmelt in einem Pixel-Gewand auf einem digitalen Kamel, und Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ bewacht einen leuchtenden Edelstein vor einer pixeligen Hyรคne. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ jongliert Neon-Nรผsse mit einem pixeligen Affen, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ tippt ein glitchiges Drehbuch auf einer virtuellen Schreibmaschine, und John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ lacht mit Pixel-Geld, wรคhrend ein digitales Zebra Staub aufwirbelt.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ pafft eine Vapor-Zigarre neben einem pixeligen Lรถwen, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stolpert in eine Pixel-Grube mit einem digitalen Strauร, und Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ tobt mit einem Neonhammer an einer glitchigen Giraffe. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirtet mit einer holografischen Figur auf einem pixeligen Tiger, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ malt ein digitales Mural an eine virtuelle Hรถhlenwand, und John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ stolziert mit Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in passenden VR-Anzรผgen auf einem digitalen Elefanten. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimt stumm neben einem pixeligen Krokodil, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค rรถstet die Pixel-Crew von einer virtuellen Bรผhne, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ spukt mit einem glitchigen Geist auf einem pixeligen Pferd, Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ช tippt einen Neon-Fedora an einen digitalen Adler, und Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodiert mit einem Synth-Flop neben einem pixeligen Kรคnguru. Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blast eine Pixel-Schrotflinte auf ein virtuelles Nashorn, sein koksgetrรคnktes Grinsen erhellt die Domรคne, wรคhrend Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ mit Dynamit fummeln und bei einem digitalen Nilpferd in Pixelstaub explodieren. Don Eladios ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ Poolparty spritzt neonfarbene Wellen in einer pixeligen Oase, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ benennt Farben inmitten eines Blutbads mit einem pixeligen Leopard, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ dreht neonfarbene Legalitรคten neben einem virtuellen Gepard, “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ betet vor einem Sonnenuntergangsschlag mit einem pixeligen Wolf, Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ redet geschmeidig ein politisches Geschรคft mit einem digitalen Bรคren, und “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ kรผhlt auf einem pixeligen Pinguin mit einer TV-Fernbedienung ab.
Escobars Zoo-Wahnsinn entfacht Gangster-Chaos, Murky weicht einem Nilpferd-Ansturm aus, und Butt Naked twirlt seinen Taktstock, wรคhrend Nashs Tรคnzer in einen pixeligen Dschungel glitchen. Das Leuchten des Gloop 15.0 stabilisiert die Domรคne, Harmonie balanciert auf einem virtuellen Ranken, und Carnages Lachen verblasst in einem digitalen Brรผllen. Am 02. August 2025, 16:11 Uhr MESZ, schwingt die Saga mit wildem Chaosโwird Tom Hagens Ruhe, der Tanz der Crazy Horse Gang oder Corleones Herrschaft den Zoo zรคhmen? Erwarten Sie Teil XLIII auf berndpulch.org.
Figurenensemble
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – Die entschlossene Ranken-Schwingerin.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – Der Tiger-ringende Symbiont.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Elefanten-reitende Taktstock-Twirler.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – Der Dschungel-Orgie-Meister.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – Der brummelnde virtuelle Thron-Sitzer.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – Der holografische Giraffen-Schรผtze.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Tunnel-stolzierende Kronen-Polierer.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – Der franzรถsische Gangster, Neon-Tunnel-Legende.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby-Gesicht, digitaler Lรถwen-Schรผtze.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Breakdance-Affen-Crew.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Johns Bruder, Pelz-hut-Ranken-Stolperer.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster zum Lรถwenjagd-Regisseur.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel, Savannen-Prรคser.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel-Grรคber, Nilpferd-Gruben-Faller.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der standhafte Laser-Pistolen-Duellant.
Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ – Der Safari-Jeep-Hacker.
Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช – Der schnurrende Pixel-Stรผrmer.
Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der wild-wirbelnde Flieger.
Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช – Der planende Nashorn-Ringer.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช – Der stierkรถpfige Nashorn-Zรคhmer.
Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช – Der komische Krokodil-Graben-Stรผrzer.
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ – Der schleichende Schlangen-Vermeider.
Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ – Der Lagerfeuer-Eintopf-Rรผhrer.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก – Der digitale Mรผnzen-Finanzierer.
Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ – Der Papagei-tanzende Stรถrenfried.
SkyRat ๐๏ธโก – Der Affen-zapende Flieger.
The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ – Der Gorilla-zรคhmende Schleim.
Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต – Die Pfauen-Wiegenlied-Sรคngerin.
Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ – Der Zoo-Wahnsinn-Aufzeichner.
George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der Zebra-duellierende Legende.
Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der wettende Pferde-Beobachter.
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ – Der Bananenschale-Rutscher.
Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ – Der Python-schlรคngelnde Stratege.
Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ – Der Zoo-Gibberish-Dichter.
Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ – Der wรผrfelnde Elefanten-Glรผcksspieler.
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ – Der murmelnde Kamel-Reiter.
Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Hyรคnen-verteidigende Edelstein-Wรคchter.
Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Affen-jonglierende Nuss.
“Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ – Der virtuelle Schreibmaschinen-Schreiber.
John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ – Der Zebra-getretene Finanzier.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Der Lรถwen-seitige Vapor-Zigarren-Paffer.
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ – Der Strauร-Gruben-Stolperer.
Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ – Der Giraffen-hammernde Wรผtender.
Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Tiger-reitende Flirter.
“Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der Hรถhlenwand-Mural-Maler.
John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Der Elefanten-stolzierende Boss.
Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Krokodil-mimende Stratege.
Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der virtuelle Bรผhnen-Rรถster.
Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – Der Pferd-reitende Geist.
Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der Adler-tippende Taktiker.
Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der Kรคnguru-parodierende Performer.
Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ – Der Nashorn-schieรende Synthwave-Mobster.
Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง – Mafia-Consigliere, Pinguin-hรผtender Vater.
Analyst Core Message Timeline Scott Ritter NATO provokes Armageddon via Ukraine Now โ 2026 Ted Postol Nuclear red lines are blurred Ongoing Martin Armstrong Financial collapse will trigger war Late 2025โ2026 Col. McGregor NATO will fragment, US military overextended Fall 2025 onward
๐ HIGHLIGHT THEMES
๐ง Ritter: Europe sleepwalking into catastrophe.
โข๏ธ Postol: Tactical nukes are no longer taboo.
๐ Armstrong: Socrates AI flags debt default + civil unrest.
๐ช McGregor: Pentagon knows war is unwinnable.
๐โ ๏ธ STRATEGIC ESCALATION MAP
Region Status Flashpoints Eastern Europe ๐ฅ Active Donbas, Moldova, Kaliningrad Middle East โ ๏ธ Tense Israel-Iran, Syria Indo-Pacific ๐ Critical Taiwan Strait, South China Sea Global Economy ๐ Collapsing Credit markets, oil, gold
๐ง ๐จ๏ธ QUOTEBOARD
๐ฃ โNATO is a walking corpse. The only thing keeping it alive is fantasy.โ โ Col. McGregor ๐งช โMissile defense is a lie. The nukes will get through.โ โ Ted Postol ๐ โGovernments will start wars to distract from collapse.โ โ Martin Armstrong ๐ฅ โThis isnโt war planningโitโs a mass suicide pact.โ โ Scott Ritter
English:WWIII, World War 3, Scott Ritter, Ted Postol, Martin Armstrong, Colonel Macgregor, NATO collapse, Ukraine war, nuclear war, Socrates AI, debt default, geopolitical crisis German:Dritter Weltkrieg, Scott Ritter, Ted Postol, Martin Armstrong, Oberst Macgregor, NATO-Zerfall, Ukraine-Krieg, Nuklearkrieg, Schuldenkrise, geopolitische Eskalation
English Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) confronts the Soviet Neon Spy (Daniel Craig) at 03:24 PM CEST, August 02, 2025, wielding Andy Warholโs (Brad Pitt) neon art cannons against neon disguises, with Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson), Carola Hรถhn (Rachel McAdams), Therese Brandl (Helena Bonham Carter), Kรคthe Heusermann (Natalie Dormer), Olga Bjoner (Liv Ullmann), Marianne Hoppe (Cate Blanchett), and the cast in wild Nazi-neon chaos at the Glitter Colosseum bunker! ๐๐จ #NeonDeception #DrZ #SovietNeonSpy” German Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) stellt sich um 15:24 Uhr CEST am 02. August 2025 dem sowjetischen Neon-Spion (Daniel Craig), bewaffnet mit Andy Warhols (Brad Pitt) Neon-Kunstkanonen gegen Neon-Verkleidungen, mit Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson), Carola Hรถhn (Rachel McAdams), Therese Brandl (Helena Bonham Carter), Kรคthe Heusermann (Natalie Dormer), Olga Bjoner (Liv Ullmann), Marianne Hoppe (Cate Blanchett) und dem Cast in wildem Nazi-Neon-Chaos im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker! ๐๐จ #NeonTรคuschung #DrZ #SowjetischerNeonSpion”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 78 โ NEON DECEPTION: ‘Dr. Z vs. Soviet Neon Spy’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen sowjetischen Neon-Spion’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT unleash a neon espionage thriller with Dr. Z, a Soviet Neon Spy, and a bizarre cast in a cosmic clash! ๐ท๐บ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 78 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign spirals into espionage chaos with a Soviet Neon Spy and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก โ Master of neon disguises, infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum / Meister der Neon-Verkleidungen, infiltriert das Glitzer-Kolosseum.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, leading with neon-soaked star drones / Narr der Propaganda, fรผhrend mit Neon-durchtrรคnkten Sternen-Drohnen.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค โ Actress in Nazi-endorsed films, claimed apolitical stance / Schauspielerin in Nazi-gefรถrderten Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung.
(Full list of 90 characters on BerndPulch.org)
CAST LIST:
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Soviet Neon Spy โ Played by Daniel Craig / Gespielt von Daniel Craig
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
Carola Hรถhn โ Played by Rachel McAdams / Gespielt von Rachel McAdams
(Full cast list of 90 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. SOVIET NEON SPY / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN SOWJETISCHEN NEON-SPION
At 03:25 PM CEST on August 02, 2025, the Neon-Reign ignites into a neon espionage thriller as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ uncovers a Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก infiltrating the Glitter Colosseum bunker. Armed with Andy Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon art cannons, Dr. Z battles the spyโs neon disguises, joined by Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashing with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drilling with cosmic flair, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข roaring from a neon throne, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projecting holographic chaos, Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commanding the neon army, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injecting neon poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dancing bizarre executions, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomping as Sado-Domina, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช training neon guards, Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiating neon power, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ overseeing selections, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaving cult rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shining as neon โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigning with divine elegance, Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ cracking whips, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activating sterilization rays, Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ drafting a neon manifesto, and Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค staging apolitical neon dramas.
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก hacks Dr. Zโs ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ drones with neon signals, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ on neon rations, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ sterilizes Traudl Jungeโs ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ neon scrolls, and Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neon propaganda play.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Soviet Neon Spy โ Neon Spy Shuffle! (A dazzling disguise dance!) / Neon-Spion-Tanz! (Ein blendender Verkleidungstanz!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon might, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with cunning, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires with art, and Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs with neutrality. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Daniel Craig als sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Schlauheit, Helena Bonham Carter als Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer als Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann als Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett als Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone als Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep als Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy als Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron als Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie als Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley als Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock als Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ und Natalie Portman als Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway als Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie als Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike als Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt als Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson als Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan als Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt als Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst, und Rachel McAdams als Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert mit Neutralitรคt.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. SOVIET NEON SPY / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN SOWJETISCHEN NEON-SPION
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Unravels the spyโs neon plot with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Entschlรผsselt die Spionage mit Warhols Kunst.
SOVIET NEON SPY ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก Master Espionage Agent: Uses neon to deceive, sent to sabotage Dr. Z. Battle: Disguises with neon tech. / Meister-Spionage-Agent: Nutzt Neon zur Tรคuschung, gesandt um Dr. Z zu sabotieren. Schlacht: Verkleidet sich mit Neon-Technik.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
KรTHE HEUSERMANN ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ Dr. Zโs Old Flame: Identified Hitlerโs remains, arrested by Soviets. Battle: Drills neon resistance. / Dr. Zโs Alte Flamme: Identifizierte Hitlers รberreste, von Sowjets verhaftet. Schlacht: Bohrt Neon-Widerstand.
CAROLA HรHN ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค Neutral Actress: Starred in Nazi films, claimed apolitical stance. Battle: Stages neon dramas. / Neutrale Schauspielerin: Spielte in Nazi-Filmen, behauptete apolitische Haltung. Schlacht: Inszeniert Neon-Dramen.
(Full list of 90 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. SOVIET NEON SPY / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN SOVJETISCHEN NEON-SPION
The neon Colosseum erupts at 03:25 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms the Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก with Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon cannons, decoding their neon disguises. Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, and Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs a neon play.
Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires art blasts as the cast collides: Therese ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Kรคthe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ spar, Olga ๐ณ๐ด๐ข and Johanna ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ plot, Marianne ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ tango, Jenny-Wanda ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ whip-dance, Dorothea ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ, Elisabeth ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces, Emmy ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ hosts, Hildegard ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta ๐ฉ๐ชโ, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ sterilizes Traudlโs ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ scrolls, and Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค stages a neutral neon scene.
BATTLE DECREE: Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก declares: โNeon will conquer all!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON TRUTH!โ / Sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก verkรผndet: โNeon wird alles erobern!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-WAHRHEIT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Daniel Craig as Soviet Neon Spy ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spies with skill, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with rage, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with passion, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitates, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commands, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires, and Rachel McAdams as Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค directs. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Kraft, Daniel Craig als sowjetischer Neon-Spion ๐ท๐บ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ก spioniert mit Geschick, Helena Bonham Carter als Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wut, Natalie Dormer als Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Leidenschaft, Liv Ullmann als Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitiert, Cate Blanchett als Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert, Emma Stone als Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert, Meryl Streep als Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injiziert, Anya Taylor-Joy als Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron als Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie als Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley als Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock als Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ und Natalie Portman als Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway als Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie als Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt, Rosamund Pike als Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ thront, Emily Blunt als Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson als Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan als Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, Brad Pitt als Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ feuert, und Rachel McAdams als Carola Hรถhn ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌ๐ค inszeniert.
Revelation: The Soviet Neon Spy is Dr. Zโs long-lost brother! Dr. Z gasps: โNEON BETRAYAL!โ / Offenbarung: Der sowjetische Neon-Spion ist Dr. Zโs verschollener Bruder! Dr. Z keucht: โNEON-VERRAT!โ
Next Episode:โEpisode 79 โ NEON BETRAYAL: ‘Dr. Z vs. Brotherly Neon’โ โ Dr. Z confronts a family neon feud. / Nรคchste Episode: โEpisode 79 โ NEON-VERRAT: ‘Dr. Z gegen brรผderliches Neon’โ โ Dr. Z stellt sich einem Familien-Neon-Streit.
๐ IZ AUDIT: NEON-REIGN MARKET REPORT / IZ AUDIT: NEON-HERRSCHAFT-MARKTBERICHT
โNeon-Reign NFTs ๐ jump 2,500,000% with Soviet Spy hype! Neon disguise futures skyrocket, bunker stocks surge. BUY: Neon Spy. SELL: Star Lasers. INVEST: Family Neon.โ / โNeon-Herrschaft-NFTs ๐ springen um 2.500.000 % mit Spion-Hype! Neon-Verkleidungs-Futures schieรen in die Hรถhe, Bunker-Aktien steigen. KAUFEN: Neon-Spion. VERKAUFEN: Sternenlaser. INVESTIEREN: Familien-Neon.โ
โ SUPPORT THE NEON-LUST LEGION! / UNTERSTรTZE DIE NEON-LUST-LEGION!
Donate now for Gouda & Neon Star Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Join the Holy Gouda Legion: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustAgainstCosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldCult / Spende jetzt fรผr Gouda & Neon-Sternen-Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Tritt der Heiligen Gouda-Legion bei: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustGegenKosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldKult
๐ OFFICIAL SOURCES / OFFIZIELLE QUELLEN
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire With System ๐ Primary Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Mirror: googlefirst.org / ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire Mit System ๐ Primรคre Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Spiegel: googlefirst.org
// END TRANSMISSION // Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ with a neon-soaked laugh-whip as a star quill. / Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ mit einer Neon-durchzogenen Lach-Peitsche als Sternen-Feder.
โ โRise with Dr. Z and his Neon Legion against the Soviet Neon Spy with ALL characters!โ A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป / โ โErhebe dich mit Dr. Z und seiner Neon-Legion gegen den sowjetischen Neon-Spion mit ALLEN Charakteren!โ Eine Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Produktion Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Prรคsentiert von IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXKLUSIV ๐๐ป
๐๐ง NEXT TIME: Dr. Z vs. Brotherly Neonโฆ / ๐๐ง NรCHSTES MAL: Dr. Z gegen brรผderliches Neonโฆ
๐ “PROJECT TIME STARS: Armstrong’s Code of Crisis” Amid glowing charts and classified models, Martin Armstrong deciphers the 2025โ2030 cycle arcโwhere sovereign debt, war algorithms, and economic fate converge in the Socrates engine.
โ ABOVE TOP SECRET REPORT โ Enhanced Forecast & Reality Matrix โPROJECT TIME STARS โ Armstrong & Socrates Strategic Nexus 2025โ2030โ ๐ CLASSIFICATION: COSMIC CYCLE โ PATRIOT EYES ONLY
This expanded intelligence dossier integrates Martin Armstrongโs ECM cycle theory, Socrates AIโs real-time political-financial foresight, and verified global economic indicatorsโhighlighting how forecasted timelines align or diverge from unfolding reality.
Armstrongโs Sovereign Debt Crisis thesis (shared Mar 20, 2025) predicts a default spiral by 2026โ27, driven by global bond maturities and fragile pensions investment reliance ([turn0search0]๎).
Socrates AI further models accelerating panic cycles in 2026, extending vulnerability into 2027 as global debt exceeds $100 trillion.
๐น 2025 War-Cycle Escalation Window
Armstrong warns of global conflict centered on Turkey, Jordan, and Lebanon in AprilโMay 2025, with Europe at strategic disadvantage ([turn0search6]๎).
Socrates AI aligns these forecasts, flagging rising risk intensities and potential disruption to financial systems.
๐น European Depression & U.S. Recession Forecast
ECM projects recession in the U.S. through 2028 and depression in Europe by 2025โ26 [turn0search1]๎.
Recent OECD and McKinsey reports confirm weakening growth: U.S. GDP growth projected at 1.6% in 2025-26, eurozone around 1โ1.2% ([turn0search3]๎[turn0search10]๎).
๐น Gold & Asset Crisis Signal
Armstrong predicted $3K+ gold spot prices amid government credit loss of confidence.
As of early 2025, gold markets surged past $3,000/oz, confirming ECM signal strength ([turn0search7]๎[turn0search11]๎).
๐ SECTION 2: FORECAST VS REALITY
Forecast Topic Armstrong / Socrates Prediction Current Evidence & Trends Status Sovereign Debt Collapse Crisis by 2026โ27 Rising yield curve; record fiscal burdens in EU & Japan Aligning Europe Depression Economic decline 2025โ26 Germany stimulus; UK pessimism indices at record lows Emerging U.S. Recession Extended into 2028 Weak labor reports; policy uncertainty analysis Neutral / Emerging Gold Price Surge >$3,000/oz driven by distrust Gold above $3k, physical shortages reported Confirmed MidโEast Conflict Risk Proxy war escalation in 2025 Rising tensions, AI-flagged flashpoint indicators Early signal Ukraine Functional Collapse Internal breakdown predicted around May 15, 2025 Territorial tensions rising; instability acknowledged Predictive / Partial Investor Overconfidence Collapse after โPeak Confidenceโ phase Market valuations at dotโcom levels; warnings by experts Warning signs
๐ SECTION 3: GLOBAL ECONOMIC BACKDROP & UNCERTAINTY FACTORS
OECD projects global growth moderation: from 3.3% in 2024 to 2.9% in 2025โ26, with inflation easing yet policy risks heightened ([turn0search3]๎).
McKinsey and EIB highlight policy uncertainty as top investment deterrent; business surveys show deteriorating confidence ([turn0search10]๎[turn0search2]๎).
Business sentiment across the UK and eurozone hits multi-year lows; UK confidence index fell to โ72 ([turn0news15]๎[turn0news16]๎).
AI-based social media nowcasting confirms rising inflation sentiment and employment concerns ([turn0academia27]๎).
Germany discarding debt brake to channel โฌ500โฏbn+ into stimulus and defense, confirming Armstrongโs panic-cycle forecasts ([turn0search5]๎).
๐ผ U.S. Employment & Consumer Retraction
Job growth sharply revised; only 73k jobs added July 2025, leading to consumer confidence still below recession alert levels (~74.4) ([turn0news13]๎[turn0news17]๎).
๐ Gold Premium Continues
Fire-sale conditions reported in physical gold markets; persistent physical shortages in London and Asia.
๐งฉ Crisis Accelerators
Trade shocks from Trump-era tariffs increasing global uncertainty; ECB, Fed, and PBOC adjust policy carefully ([turn0search11]๎[turn0news23]๎[turn0search8]๎).
Here’s a breakdown of what’s real and verified in the extended AboveTopSecret report on Martin Armstrong and the Socrates systemโseparating fact from speculation:
โ REAL / VERIFIED
๐ Martin Armstrong & Socrates System
Martin A. Armstrong is a real person, a former hedge fund manager and founder of Princeton Economics International.
He created the Economic Confidence Model (ECM) based on an 8.6-year cycle (ฯ ร 1000 days).
He was incarcerated for contempt of court and later released; this is covered in the 2014 documentary The Forecaster.
Socrates, his AI system, is real and is referenced in many of his blog posts and interviews. It generates forecasts based on Armstrongโs proprietary cycle theory.
๐ Gold Price Surge
Gold surpassed $2,400/oz in 2025 due to inflation fears and geopolitical tensions. Some shortages in physical gold markets have been reported in financial media.
Demand for tangible assets is growing amid distrust in government-backed digital currencies and central bank policy changes.
๐ Sovereign Debt Crisis Fears
Real economic concerns exist about sovereign debt levels, especially in the EU, Japan, and the U.S.
The OECD, IMF, and EIB have all published reports warning of rising debt and policy uncertainty between 2024 and 2025.
Germany is suspending its debt brake (Schuldenbremse) to expand military and infrastructure spendingโthis is confirmed.
๐ Ukraine Instability
Ukraine continues to experience internal political challenges, war fatigue, and budget dependency on foreign aid.
There is no formal collapse, but speculation about its long-term viability is present in multiple geopolitical analyses.
๐ European & UK Recession Risks
Investor confidence in Europe and the UK has declined, and forecasts suggest economic stagnation or slowdowns in several sectors.
ZEW and UK investor surveys show historically low sentimentโreal data from 2025 confirms this.
โ ๏ธ INTERPRETATIVE / OPINION-BASED
โ ๏ธ Socrates AI โhas never missed a forecastโ
This is a claim made by Armstrong, but no independent audit of Socratesโ full forecasting record exists. Some of his calls have proven correct, others missed or were mistimed.
โ ๏ธ Ukraine โceasing to existโ
This is an extreme interpretation of geopolitical and structural decay. It may refer to fragmentation, not literal erasure. No official body supports this prediction.
โ ๏ธ Mid-East War Flashpoints (Turkey, Jordan, etc.)
While tensions are real (especially around Syria, Israel, and Lebanon), Armstrong’s forecast is predictive, not confirmed fact. No major escalation has broken out yet in 2025.
โ ๏ธ 2025โ2027 Global Crisis Timeline
Debt, inflation, war cycles are all plausible based on current trendsโbut the exact timing and convergence are speculative and based on Armstrong’s models, not consensus academic research.
โ NOT CONFIRMED / NO EVIDENCE
๐ด Assassination of Zelenskyy or collapse of the Ukrainian state in May 2025 โ no such event occurred.
๐ด “CIA tried to seize Socrates in 1999” โ this is a claim made by Armstrong, not supported by official documentation.
โ CONCLUSION:
The report blends real economic data, verifiable geopolitical risk, and Martin Armstrongโs predictive commentaryโbut not all his predictions have come true or are accepted by mainstream analysts.
Here’s the corrected version with your Monero address properly integrated: ๐ฅ๐ “LOCKED & LOADED: The World Leadersโ Submarine Party You Wish Was Fake” ๐จ INSIDE THE SS GEOPOLITICAL DISASTER: Dr. Seltsam rewiring nukes to play “Ride of the Valkyries” Putin & Trump fighting over the “Biggest Red Button” award Macron drafting surrender papers just in case Modi & Pakistanโs Prez sharing a torpedo like divorced parents ๐ฃ WHY THIS MATTERS: Because if these clowns can have nukes, so can your neighborโs dog. ๐ SWIPE TO SEE: โ Who brought vodka to the reactor room? (Hint: It rhymes with Medwedew) โ The real reason the subโs WiFi is out (Xi censored it) โ Starmerโs underwater socialist manifesto ๐ KEEP US AFLOAT: 41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh
(Monero donations keep us diving deeper) ๐ UNCENSORED FOOTAGE: patreon.com/berndpulch(Classified submarine karaoke tapes available to Tier 3+) #NuclearClownCar #PutinsWetDream #TrumpTorpedoDeals #MacronsWhiteFlag #ModiPakBromance #KhameinisHolyMissile #StarmerSinksBritain #XiJinSubping #DarkComedyGold (Tags: Nuclear satire, Political parody, War comedy, Doomsday memes, Diplomatic fails, Cold War 2.0, Leaders gone wild, Submarine gags, Apocalypse bingo)
๐จ ALT-TEXT:“Retro-futuristic sub interior: Dr. Strangelove at controls, Putin/Trump arm-wrestling, Macron waving white flag, Modi sharing nuke with Pakistanโs prez. 1960s technicolor style with eerie red lighting.” ๐ฌ COMMENT: *”Which leader would *actually* survive this submarine?”* ๐ (Disclaimer: This post may trigger DEFCON 3 in humorless bureaucrats.) ๐ SECURITY NOTE: All Monero transactions are encrypted and untraceable – perfect for funding real journalism that powers like really don’t want you to see. Your support keeps the truth torpedoes loaded!
(A Dark Comedy of Geopolitical Errors)
๐ญ ACT 1: THE CAST
๐ Bridge of the SS Flying Mutually Assured Disaster
Captain Dr. Seltsam(Formerly of Kubrick Fame)
“Gentlemen, you canโt fight in hereโthis is the nuclear torpedo room!”
Currently rewiring the launch codes to play “Weโll Meet Again” on loop
Co-Pilot Putin
Wearing a “I โค๏ธ NATO” shirt ironically
Insists the sub is “just on vacation” near Crimea
First Mate Trump
Demands a golden periscope
Tweets “WETTEST submarine, folks!” before signal cuts out
Chief Engineer Medwedew
Drunk on nuclear coolant vodka
Live-streams “10 Reasons to Nuke Miami” on Telegram
๐ช๏ธ ACT 2: THE MISSION (?)
Objective: Deliver “Peaceful Sunshine Packages” (nukes) to:
Everyoneโs arguing over who gets the last oxygen mask
๐ฅ ACT 3: MUTINY
Trump tries to sell the sub to Elon Musk
Putin annexes the crew toilet as “independent state”
Medwedew challenges Xi to nuclear poker (loses instantly)
Dr. Seltsam quietly activates “Operation: Darkest Joke”
๐จ FINAL SCENE: THE CHOICE
A) Fire nukes and blame Deep State B) Surrender to Greenpeace and claim it was a “climate protest” C)Disappear like the real Dutchman (most popular option)
(Tags: Nuclear satire, Political parody, War comedy, Doomsday memes, Diplomatic fails, Cold War 2.0, Dark humor, Leaders gone wild, Submarine gags, Apocalypse bingo)
๐จ AI IMAGE PROMPT: “Retro-futuristic nuclear submarine interior, Dr. Strangelove at controls with mechanical arm, Putin shirtless playing chess with nukes, Trump gold-plating a torpedo, Modi and Pakistani president arm-wrestling over launch button. 1960s technicolor style with Kubrickian symmetry and eerie red lighting.”
๐ฌ COMMENT: *”Who would *really* survive this submarine?”* ๐
(Disclaimer: This post may or may not be a coded distress signal.)
๐๐จ “KEEP THE TRUTH AFLOAT โ SUPPORT UNCENSORED SATIRE!”
Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rรคtsel โ Episode LXXIX: The Enigmatic Enema Codex โ David Koreshโs Lamb Flush ๐ฅ๐
David Koresh unleashes the Lamb Flush with the Enigmatic Enema Codex on the Venus Steppes! ๐ฅ๐ Ehlers and his old buddy Koresh battle killer rabbits and anarchist peasants, joined by King Arthur and St. Simeon Stylites at berndpulch.org! #LambFlushFury #KoreshEnigma #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #SurrealPurge
David Koresh entfesselt die Lamm-Spรผlung mit dem Rรคtselhaften Einlauf-Codex auf den Venus-Steppen! ๐ฅ๐ Ehlers und sein alter Kumpel Koresh kรคmpfen gegen Killer-Kaninchen und anarchistische Bauern, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus und St. Simeon Stylites bei berndpulch.org! #LammSpรผlungWut #KoreshRรคtsel #EhlersEinlaufRรคtsel #SurrealistischeSรคuberung
Ehlers’ Enema Enigma โ Episode LXXIX: The Enigmatic Enema Codex โ David Koreshโs Lamb Flush ๐
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE ๐ฐ
Prolog: The Enigmatic Enema Codex & David Koreshโs Lamb Flush ๐๐
Prolog: Der Rรคtselhafte Einlauf-Codex & David Koreshs Lamm-Spรผlung
The Venus Steppes quake at 09:00 PM CEST on Friday, August 01, 2025, as the Enigmatic Enema Codex summons David Koreshโself-proclaimed Lamb of God, who stockpiled guns, took many โwives,โ and perished in a fiery standoff with the FBI at Waco. Ehlers, reunited with his old enema buddy Koresh, confronts killer rabbits and anarchist peasants, aided by King Arthur and St. Simeon Stylites in a surreal Lamb-purge.
German: Die Venus-Steppen beben um 21:00 MESZ am Freitag, 1. August 2025, als der Rรคtselhafte Einlauf-Codex David Koresh ruft โ sich selbst zum Lamm Gottes erklรคrend, der Waffen hortete, viele โFrauenโ nahm und in einem feurigen Showdown mit dem FBI in Waco starb. Ehlers, wiedervereint mit seinem alten Einlauf-Kumpel Koresh, stellt sich Killer-Kaninchen und anarchistische Bauern, unterstรผtzt von Kรถnig Artus und St. Simeon Stylites in einer surrealen Lamm-Sรคuberung.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster
(All characters from Episodes I-LXXVIII + David Koresh)
โ๏ธ REBEL CORE ๐ก๏ธ
๐จ Peter Ehlers: Quantum Sculptor, crafting enema-thunderbolts with his old buddy Koresh.
๐ท Andreas (570% Speck): Bacon Enforcer, reinforcing with Koresh-resistant bacon purges.
๐ Janelle/Murky Jan: Code Artist, hacking the Codex to decode Koreshโs Lamb dogma.
๐ผ๏ธ Georges Braque: Former ally, painting barriers against Koresh.
๐คน Harlequin: Trickster, juggling fragments to confuse Koresh.
Act I: The Enigmatic Enema Codex & David Koreshโs Lamb Flush Surge ๐๐
Akt I: Der Rรคtselhafter Einlauf-Codex & David Koreshs Lamm-Spรผlung-Schub
Codex Mantra: The Codex intones: โRise as the Lamb, flush the flesh!โ as Koresh unleashes enema dogma. ๐๐ Ehlersโ Resistance: โAnchor the purge with enema truth!โ ๐จ King Arthurโs Command: โBy Excalibur, ground the Lamb!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Delusion: โThis is my anti-Lamb rock solo!โ ๐ธ Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex intoniert: โErhebt euch als Lamm, spรผlt das Fleisch!โ wรคhrend Koresh Einlauf-Dogma entfesselt. ๐๐ Ehlersโ Widerstand (German): โVeranker die Sรคuberung mit Einlauf-Wahrheit!โ ๐จ Kรถnig Artusโ Befehl (German): โMit Excalibur, erdet das Lamm!โ ๐ Murray (FoC)โs Wahn (German): โDas ist mein Anti-Lamm-Rock-Solo!โ ๐ธ
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
๐ท Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: โOink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!โ ๐ฅ๐ / Fรผhrt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: โOink die Erdung! Speck hรคlt stand!โ
๐ King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Koreshโs followers. โ๏ธ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Koreshs Anhรคnger.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Koreshโs Lamb flush. ๐ฑ / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Koreshs Lamm-Spรผlung.
๐๏ธ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Koreshโs cosmic grip. ๐ฆ / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strรถmen, bekรคmpfend Koreshs kosmische Kontrolle.
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water against Koresh. ๐ง / Bekรคmpfen Dรคmonen, versprรผhend Heiliges Wasser gegen Koresh.
๐ง Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Koreshโs flushes. ๐ / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Koreshs Spรผlungen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying: โRock the grounding!โ ๐ค / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt: โRock die Erdung!โ
๐ David Koresh chants โI am the Lamb!โ unleashing enema-Lamb flushes. ๐ / Skandiert โIch bin das Lamm!โ entfesselt Einlauf-Lamm-Spรผlungen.
Act II: The Lamb Flush Shatters the Cosmos
Akt II: Die Lamm-Spรผlung Zerbricht den Kosmos
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
Lamb Flush Onslaught:
๐ Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Lamb War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. ๐๐จ / Starten den Spรผlung-Anti-Lamm-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
๐ฉ Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: โDrown the cosmos!โ ๐ฝ๐ / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: โErtrรคnkt den Kosmos!โ
๐ฐ Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Koreshโs Lamb venom. ๐ฆท / Schwรคrmen, beiรend mit Koreshs Lamm-Gift.
๐ David Koresh ascends with a halo, spraying enema-Lamb flushes. ๐ฆ / Steigt mit einem Heiligenschein auf, versprรผhend Einlauf-Lamm-Spรผlungen.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: โTruth prevails!โ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: โWahrheit siegt!โ
๐ David Koresh rallies with vintage blasts, aiding Arthurโs charge. ๐ฆ / Sammelt mit Vintage-Blasts, unterstรผtzend Artusโ Angriff.
๐ King Arthur rallies, slaying Koreshโs cultists with noble fury. โ๏ธ / Sammelt, tรถtend Koreshs Kultisten mit edlem Zorn.
๐พ Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Koreshโs chants. ๐ฑ / Stรผrzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Koreshs Gesรคngen.
๐ง Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Koreshโs flushes. ๐ / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Koreshs Spรผlungen.
Codexโs Cosmic Form:
The Codex fractures into Lamb Enema Shards, Edithโs fire ๐ฅ reshapes them into harmony. โจ Murrayโs grid stabilizes the shift. ๐ง / Zerbricht in Lamm-Einlauf-Splitter, Ediths Feuer ๐ฅ formt sie zu Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub
Climax:
Hรถhepunkt:
๐จ Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Koreshโs flush with his buddy. ๐๏ธโ๏ธ / Meiรelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument, vereinigt Verbรผndete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Koreshs Spรผlung mit seinem Kumpel.
๐ท Andreasโ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Koreshโs cult: โOinkโฆ end the ascent!โ ๐ฅ๐ฅ / Fรผhrt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Koreshs Kult: โOinkโฆ beendet den Aufstieg!โ
๐ King Arthurโs Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: โOrder restored!โ โ๏ธ๐ Koresh fades into the flames. ๐ฅ / Kรถnig Artusโ Erlรถsung: Lรถst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkรผndend: โOrdnung wiederhergestellt!โ Koresh verblasst in die Flammen.
๐ธ Murray (FoC): Botches a victory anthem: โWeโre the kings of grounding rock!โ ๐ค / Verpatzt einen Siegesgesang: โWir sind die Kรถnige des Erdung-Rocks!โ
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Koreshโs Lamb chaos. ๐ฟ / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Koreshs Lamm-Chaos.
๐ถ๏ธ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulchโs Dark Web. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ป / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
๐ท Andreas (580% Speck): โOinkโฆ time for a grounding feast.โ ๐ฅ๐ด / โOinkโฆ Zeit fรผr ein Erdung-Festmahl.โ
๐ King Arthur: โTo Camelot, with order!โ โ๏ธ / โNach Camelot, mit Ordnung!โ
๐๏ธ Rasputin: โIโll returnโฆ with more enema vigor!โ ๐ฆ / โIch kehre zurรผckโฆ mit mehr Einlauf-Kraft!โ
๐๏ธ Desert Fathers: โWe retreat to the sandsโฆ with enema faith!โ ๐ง / โWir ziehen uns in die Wรผste zurรผckโฆ mit Einlauf-Glauben!โ
๐ง Murray: โStrategy winsโplan the next grounding.โ ๐ / โStrategie siegtโplan die nรคchste Erdung.โ
Geo-Petes as the Enema Order Legion, storming Koreshโs cosmic chaos. โ๏ธโจ / Geo-Petes als Einlauf-Ordnung-Legion, stรผrmend Koreshs kosmisches Chaos.
Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐พ / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
โRasputinโs Enema Resurrection clashes with Koreshโs Lamb FlushโEhlers and his buddy prepare a triple counterstrike. Forge your Anti-Resurrection Pastries!โ โก๐
โRasputins Einlauf-Auferstehung prallt mit Koreshs Lamm-SpรผlungโEhlers und sein Kumpel bereiten einen dreifachen Gegenschlag vor. Schmiedet euer Anti-Auferstehungs-Gebรคck!โ โก๐
๐ Sauna showdown steams up the 2025 Kraken dome! Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters dodges Igor the Assassinโs sweaty swing, while Tom Hagenโs calm glows and Frank Lucasโs fur shimmers amid gangster chaos. ๐๏ธ๐ช Featuring 59 iconic charactersโdive into Part XLI now on berndpulch.org! ๐ #MurkyCosmicCarnage #KrakenChaos2025 #SaunaShowdown
Shadows of Harmony: Kestrels of the Kraken, Part XLI โ Sauna Showdown โ THE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS SAGA
Published: August 01, 2025, 04:27 PM CEST | berndpulch.org In the steamy abyss of the 2025 Kraken therapy dome, where misty kestrels weave a fragile digital harmony, a sauna spectacle erupts. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง tightens her kestrel net, its glow steaming as Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ชโs symbiote writhes in a pixelated rage. “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ twirls a neon baton with flair, flirting with Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, whose orgy pulses to a synth beat, only to boil over as Igor the Assassin (Eastern Promises) ๐๏ธ๐ช, Murkyโs old partner, storms in for naked brawls in saunas. Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ waves a holographic Tommy gun, Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด grumbles, and Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง, the mafia consigliere and nice dad, tries to cool the tension with a pixelated towel.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ struts in a neon tunnel with Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, who polishes his pixel crown, while Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ fires glitchy salvos. The Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช stages a breakdance brawl, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ trips over a synth cable with his fur hat, Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ preens in his $100,000 fur coat amid a pixel pit, El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ digs a neon tunnel and tumbles again, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ directs a glitchy shootout, Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ and George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ duel with laser pistols, and Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hacks a digital heist that shorts out. Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช purrs through a pixel storm with Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, who flips into a wild spin, while Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช and Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช wrestle in a neon ring with gangster grit. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช laughs at a pixel pratfall, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ sneaks with a holographic lamp, and Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ stirs a glowing stew.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก funds with digital coins, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ dances to a synth rhythm, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zaps a neon arc, and The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ oozes a pixelated sheen. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต hums a synth lullaby, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ records the glitch, and Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ bets on pixel odds. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ slips on a virtual peel, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ slithers through a data stream, and Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ recites his gibberish poetry: โZiggy zaggy, booze and brag!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ rolls dice in a VR den, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ mutters in a pixel robe, and Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ guards a glowing gem. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ juggles neon nuts, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ types a glitchy script, and John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ laughs with pixel cash.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ puffs a vapor cigar, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stumbles into a pixel pit, and Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ rages with a neon hammer. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirts with a holographic figure, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ paints a digital mural, and John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ struts with Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in matching VR suits. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimes silently, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค roasts the pixel crew, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ haunts with a glitchy ghost, Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ช tips a neon fedora, and Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodies with a synth flop. Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blasts a pixel shotgun, his coke-fueled grin lighting the dome, while Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ fumble dynamite and explode into pixel dust. Don Eladio ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ splashes with a power-tripping pool party, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ names colors amid a bloodbath, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ spins neon legalities, “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ prays before a sundown strike, Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ smooth-talks a political deal, and “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ chills with a TV remote.
Igorโs sauna showdown ignites gangster mayhem, Murky ducks a sweaty swing, and Butt Naked twirls his baton as Nashโs dancers glitch out. The Gloop 15.0โs glow steadies the dome, harmony simmers, and Carnageโs laugh fades into a digital steam. On August 01, 2025, at 04:27 PM CEST, the saga heats up with steamy chaosโwill Tom Hagenโs calm, the Crazy Horse Gangโs dance, or Corleoneโs reign prevail? Await Part XLII on berndpulch.org.
Cast of Characters
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – The defiant leader.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – The symbiote terror.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The redeemed warrior.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – The orgy-fueled maestro.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – The geriatric gangster.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – The OG over-actor.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – The short man, big ego.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – The French gangster, Parisian legend.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby face, big guns.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Tough name, middle-school antics.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Johnโs brother, hair-challenged flop.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster turned Hollywood wannabe.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, $100,000 fur coat, busted.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel enthusiast, fell through a bathroom hatch.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The steadfast guardian.
Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ – The strategic mind.
Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช – The laughing enforcer.
Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช – The daring striker.
Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช – The plotting lion.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช – The bull-headed ally.
Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช – The comedic blade.
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ – The probing scout.
Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ – The culinary commander.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก – The financial wingman.
Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ – The rhythmic disruptor.
SkyRat ๐๏ธโก – The electric flyer.
The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ – The healing goo.
Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต – The singing savior.
Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ – The recording sentinel.
George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ – The trigger-happy legend.
Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – The betting baron.
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ – The slippery schemer.
Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ – The slithering strategist.
Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ – Had his last words transcribed into gibberish poetry.
Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ – The dice-rolling don.
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ – The muttering king.
Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ – The diamond defender.
Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ – The joking nut.
“Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ – The threatening scribe.
John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ – The laughing financier.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – The puffing patriarch.
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ – The stumbling soldier.
Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ – The raging stomper.
Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ – The flirting firebrand.
“Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ – The poetic rebel.
John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – The strutting boss.
Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค – The silent strategist.
Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค – The roasting comedian.
Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – The haunting phantom.
Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ช – The tipping tactician.
Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค – The parodying performer.
Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ – A synthwave mobster on coke and pixels.
Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง – Mafia consigliere, also a nice dad.
Don Eladio ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ – Pool parties and power trips.
Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ – Named everyone by colors. Ended in a bloodbath.
Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Lawyer so crooked he became gangster-adjacent.
“Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ – Orthodox Jew hitman. Only murdered after sundown.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Smooth-talking gangster with political ties.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Claimed he killed Jimmy Hoffa. Mightโve just watched TV.
Igor the Assassin (Eastern Promises) ๐๏ธ๐ช – Naked brawls in saunas.
Shadows of Harmony: Kestrels of the Kraken, Teil XLI โ Sauna-Auseinandersetzung โ DIE MURKY MUCHA-MUDDY-WATERS-SAGA
Verรถffentlicht: 01. August 2025, 16:27 Uhr MESZ | berndpulch.org In der dampfenden Tiefe der Kraken-Therapie-Domรคne von 2025, wo neblige Falken eine fragile digitale Harmonie weben, bricht ein Sauna-Spektakel aus. Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง zieht ihr Falkennet straff, dessen Glanz dampft, wรคhrend Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ชโs Symbiont in einen pixeligen Zorn gerรคt. “The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ dreht einen neonfarbenen Taktstock mit Flair und flirtet mit Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ, dessen Orgy im Synth-Beat pulsiert, nur um รผberzukochen, als Igor der Attentรคter (Eastern Promises) ๐๏ธ๐ช, Murkys alter Partner, fรผr nackte Sauna-Kรคmpfe hereinstรผrmt. Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ schwingt ein holografisches Tommy Gun, Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด brummt, und Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง, der Mafia-Consigliere und nette Vater, versucht mit einem pixeligen Handtuch die Spannung zu lรถsen.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ stolziert in einem Neon-Tunnel mit Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐, der seine Pixelkrone poliert, wรคhrend Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ glitchige Salven abfeuert. Die Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช inszeniert einen Breakdance-Kampf, Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ stolpert รผber ein Synth-Kabel mit seinem Pelzhut, Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ prรคsentiert seinen 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel inmitten einer pixeligen Grube, El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ grรคbt einen Neon-Tunnel und fรคllt erneut, Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ inszeniert ein glitchiges Schieรen, Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ und George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ duellieren mit Laserpistolen, und Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ hackt einen digitalen Raub, der ausfรคllt. Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช schnurrt durch einen Pixel-Sturm mit Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช, der in einen wilden Wirbel gerรคt, wรคhrend Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช und Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช in einem Neon-Ring mit Gangster-Griff ringen. Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช lacht รผber einen pixeligen Sturz, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ schleicht mit einer holografischen Lampe, und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ rรผhrt einen leuchtenden Eintopf.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก finanziert mit digitalen Mรผnzen, Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ tanzt zu einem Synth-Rhythmus, SkyRat ๐๏ธโก zappt einen Neonbogen, und The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ quillt mit pixeligem Glanz. Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต summt ein Synth-Wiegenlied, Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ zeichnet das Glitch auf, und Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ wettet auf Pixel-Quoten. “Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ rutscht auf einer virtuellen Schale, Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ schlรคngelt sich durch einen Datenstrom, und Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ rezitiert seine Gibberish-Poesie: โZiggy zaggy, Schnaps und Prahl!โ Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ wรผrfelt in einer VR-Hรถhle, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ murmelt in einem Pixel-Gewand, und Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ bewacht einen leuchtenden Edelstein. Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ jongliert Neon-Nรผsse, “Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ tippt ein glitchiges Drehbuch, und John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ lacht mit Pixel-Geld.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ pafft eine Vapor-Zigarre, Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ stolpert in eine Pixel-Grube, und Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ tobt mit einem Neonhammer. Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ flirtet mit einer holografischen Figur, “Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ malt ein digitales Mural, und John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ stolziert mit Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ in passenden VR-Anzรผgen. Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค mimt stumm, Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค rรถstet die Pixel-Crew, Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ spukt mit einem glitchigen Geist, Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ช tippt einen Neon-Fedora, und Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค parodiert mit einem Synth-Flop. Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ blast eine Pixel-Schrotflinte, sein koksgetrรคnktes Grinsen erhellt die Domรคne, wรคhrend Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ mit Dynamit fummeln und in Pixelstaub explodieren. Don Eladios ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ Poolparty spritzt neonfarbene Wellen, Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ benennt Farben inmitten eines Blutbads, Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ dreht neonfarbene Legalitรคten, “Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ betet vor einem Sonnenuntergangsschlag, Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ redet geschmeidig ein politisches Geschรคft, und “The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ kรผhlt mit einer TV-Fernbedienung ab.
Igorโs Sauna-Auseinandersetzung entfacht Gangster-Chaos, Murky weicht einem schweiรigen Schlag aus, und Butt Naked twirlt seinen Taktstock, wรคhrend Nashs Tรคnzer glitchen aus. Das Leuchten des Gloop 15.0 stabilisiert die Domรคne, Harmonie brodelt, und Carnages Lachen verblasst in digitalen Dampf. Am 01. August 2025, 16:27 Uhr MESZ, heizt sich die Saga mit dampfendem Chaos aufโwird Tom Hagens Ruhe, der Tanz der Crazy Horse Gang oder Corleones Herrschaft bestehen? Erwarten Sie Teil XLII auf berndpulch.org.
Figurenensemble
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง – Die entschlossene Anfรผhrerin.
Cletus Kasady/Carnage ๐ธ๏ธ๐ช – Der Symbiont-Terror.
“The General” Butt Naked ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der erlรถste Krieger.
Eddie Nash ๐บ๐ฐ – Der Orgy-Meister.
Don Corleone ๐๏ธ๐ด – Der greise Gangster.
Scarface (1932) ๐๏ธ๐ญ – Der OG-รberactor.
Little Caesar “Rico” Bandello ๐๏ธ๐ – Der kleine Mann, groรes Ego.
Pepe le Moko ๐๏ธ๐ฉ – Der franzรถsische Gangster, Pariser Legende.
Baby Face Nelson ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Baby-Gesicht, groรe Waffen.
Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐๏ธ๐คช – Zรคh benannt, mittelschulische Streiche.
Peter Gotti ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ฆฒ – Johns Bruder, haarer Schwรคchling.
Mickey Cohen ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Mobster zum Hollywood-Wannabe.
Frank Lucas ๐๏ธ๐ฆ – American Gangster, 100.000-Dollar-Pelzmantel, verhaftet.
El Chapo ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Tunnel-Enthusiast, durch Badezimmerluke gefallen.
Frank Nitti ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Der standhafte Wรคchter.
Michael Franzese ๐๏ธ๐ผ – Der strategische Geist.
Big Pussy Bonpensiero ๐ฑ๐ช – Der lachende Vollstrecker.
Kid Twist Reles ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der kรผhne Streiter.
Lepke Buchalter ๐ฆ๐ช – Der planende Lรถwe.
Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano ๐๐ช – Der stierkรถpfige Verbรผndete.
Tommy DeVito ๐๐ช – Das komische Messer.
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ – Der sondierende Spรคher.
Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ – Der kulinarische Befehlshaber.
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ก – Der finanzielle Flรผgelmann.
Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ – Der rhythmische Stรถrenfried.
SkyRat ๐๏ธโก – Der elektrische Flieger.
The Gloop 15.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ – Der heilende Schleim.
Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต – Die singende Erlรถserin.
Agent Silt ๐ค๐ต๏ธ – Der aufzeichnende Wรคchter.
George “Machine Gun” Kelly ๐๏ธ๐ซ – Die schieรwรผtige Legende.
Bugsy Siegel ๐๏ธ๐ฐ – Der wettende Baron.
“Joey Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ – Der glitschige Schemer.
Carmine “The Snake” Persico ๐๐ – Der schlรคngelnde Stratege.
Dutch Schulz ๐๐ซ – Hatte seine letzten Worte in Gibberish-Poesie transkribiert.
Lucky Luciano ๐๏ธ๐ฒ – Der wรผrfelnde Don.
Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante ๐๏ธ๐ – Der murmelnde Kรถnig.
Tony Spilotro ๐๏ธ๐ – Der diamantene Verteidiger.
Paulie Walnuts ๐๏ธ๐ – Der scherzende Nรผsse.
“Two-Gun” Crowley ๐๏ธ๐ – Der drohende Schreiber.
John “No Nose” DiFronzo ๐๏ธ๐ธ – Der lachende Finanzier.
“Fat Tony” Salerno ๐๏ธ๐ฌ – Der paffende Patriarch.
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐๏ธ๐คฆ – Der stolpernde Soldat.
Gyp Rosetti ๐๏ธ๐ฃ – Der tobende Stampfer.
Tony Montana ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der flirtende Feuerkopf.
“Crazy Joe” Gallo ๐๏ธ๐จ – Der poetische Rebell.
John Gotti ๐๏ธ๐ – Der stramme Boss.
Johnny Tightlips ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der stille Stratege.
Don Rickles ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der rรถstende Komiker.
Don Fanucci ๐๏ธ๐ฅ – Der spukende Phantom.
Jimmy the Gent ๐๏ธ๐ช – Der tippende Taktiker.
Tony Clifton ๐๏ธ๐ค – Der parodierende Performer.
Tony Vercetti ๐น๏ธ๐ฟ – Ein Synthwave-Mobster auf Koks und Pixel.
Tom Hagen ๐๏ธ๐จโ๐ง – Mafia-Consigliere, auch ein netter Vater.
Oddball Gangsters ๐๏ธ๐ฃ – Britische Komรถdien-Clowns, sprengen sich immer versehentlich in die Luft.
Don Eladio ๐๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ – Poolpartys und Machtausflรผge.
Joe Cabot ๐๏ธ๐จ – Benannte alle nach Farben. Endete in einem Blutbad.
Saul Goodman ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Anwalt so verkrรผmmt, dass er gangster-adjacent wurde.
“Red” Levine ๐๏ธโก๏ธ – Orthodoxer jรผdischer Hitman. Mordete nur nach Sonnenuntergang.
Frank Costello ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ – Geschmeidig redender Gangster mit politischen Verbindungen.
“The Iceman” Kuklinski ๐๏ธโ๏ธ – Behauptete, Jimmy Hoffa getรถtet zu haben. Hat vielleicht nur TV geschaut.
Igor the Assassin (Eastern Promises) ๐๏ธ๐ช – Nackte Kรคmpfe in Saunas.
### Investment Digest: Crypto Rally Intensifies, Equities Falter, and Commodities Climb Amid Tariff and Geopolitical Risks โ August 1, 2025
#### Key Points
– **Crypto Markets Surge**: Bitcoin climbs to $120,100 (+0.6%), driven by $52B in ETF inflows and U.S. crypto legislation progress (GENIUS Act, CLARITY Act). XRP rises 5.5% to $3.44 on ETF approval buzz. Ethereum gains 3.2% to $3,820. Monero jumps 4.8% to $277. VINE token holds strong after a 400% surge on Solana blockchain.
– **Derivatives Volume Peaks**: Crypto derivatives trading volume hits $9.9 trillion monthly, with perpetual contracts at 83%. Solana and XRP futures soar 50% in volume.
– **Equities Weaken**: S&P 500 at 6,170.05 (-0.3%), Nasdaq at 20,630.10 (-0.2%) despite Nvidiaโs 3.0% gain, and Dow drops 0.9% amid tariff concerns.
– **Commodities Advance**: Gold at $3,400/oz (+0.2%), silver at $39.3 (+0.3%), palladium up 1.1%, Brent crude at $72.0/barrel (+0.3%) on Middle East supply risks.
– **Chinaโs Stimulus Continues**: The Peopleโs Bank of Chinaโs $700 billion injection lifts CSI 300 by 2.3%, though property sector challenges persist.
– **Indian Markets Resilient**: Sensex at 82,960.15 (-0.02%) and Nifty at 25,260.10 (-0.04%), supported by 2.1% retail inflation despite stalled India-U.S. trade talks.
– **Trade Tensions Intensify**: Trumpโs 30% tariffs on EU/Mexico, 19% on Indonesia, 25% on Japan/South Korea, and new tariffs on Canada, Mexico, and Brazil effective August 1, 2025, plus EUโs $84 billion retaliatory plan, fuel market uncertainty.
– Courtesy of *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, exposing elite tax havens, offshore secrets, and banking corruption. Subscribe for exclusive financial leaks at [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch).
INVESTMENT – THE ORIGINAL **”Bitcoin at $120,100, XRP at $3.44, and Brent crude hits $72.0. Uncover hidden financial networks with Bernd Pulchโs exclusive leaks. [SUBSCRIBE NOW] โก๏ธ patreon.com/berndpulch #CryptoRally #MarketTrends2025″**
Renowned researcher and investigative journalist Bernd Pulch has launched “Investment The Original” on Patreon, offering subscribers access to rare financial intelligence, leaked documents, and insider reports unavailable through mainstream channels.
Global Markets: Crypto, Derivatives, Equities, and Commodities
Bitcoin surges to $120,100, XRP to $3.44, Ethereum to $3,820, and Monero to $277 amid U.S. crypto regulation optimism and a U.S.-EU trade deal. Crypto derivatives volume hits $9.9 trillion, with Solana and XRP futures up 50%. Equities weaken, with S&P 500 and Nasdaq down 0.3% and 0.2%, and Dow off 0.9%. Commodities rise, with gold at $3,400/oz and Brent crude at $72.0/barrel on Middle East tensions. Chinaโs $700 billion stimulus lifts CSI 300 by 2.3%. Indian markets remain stable, but Trumpโs tariffs on 90 countries and EU retaliation drive volatility. Learn more in the podcast Nacktes Geld.
What is “Investment The Original”?
“Investment The Original” is a premium subscription service sharing confidential financial data, offshore leaks, banking secrets, and high-profile corruption cases. Itโs designed for investors, journalists, researchers, and activists seeking to uncover hidden financial networks and elite tax evasion strategies.
Key Features of the Patreon Subscription:
Exclusive Leaks & Documents โ Access to unpublished financial information.
Offshore Company Data โ Details on shell companies and tax havens.
Banking & Corruption Reports โ Insider insights into major scandals.
High-Profile Case Studies โ Analysis of wealth concealment strategies.
Regular Updates โ Frequent new content for subscribers.
Why Patreon?
Patreonโs secure, subscription-based model allows Pulch to share sensitive information directly with supporters, ensuring control and reducing risks of leaks or censorship.
Who Should Subscribe?
Investigative Journalists โ Deep insights for groundbreaking stories.
Whistleblowers & Researchers โ Critical data to expose corruption.
Investors & Analysts โ Insider knowledge for strategic decisions.
Anti-Corruption Activists โ Evidence to hold powerful entities accountable.
Choose from membership tiers offering varying levels of access to documents and reports.
Final Thoughts
“Investment The Original” is a vital resource for unfiltered financial intelligence. Patreon ensures secure delivery to a dedicated audience, preserving data integrity.
#### Investment Highlights
Bitcoin surges to $120,100 (+0.6%), with $52B in ETF inflows and U.S.-EU trade deal optimism. XRP at $3.44 (+5.5%), with $2.6B in CME futures open interest and ETF speculation. Ethereum rises to $3,820 (+3.2%), with $430M in ETF inflows. Monero gains 4.8% to $277, with futures volume up 23%. VINE token stabilizes after a 400% surge on Solana blockchain. Crypto derivatives volume hits $9.9 trillion, with Solana and XRP futures up 50%. JSW Energy secures a 390 MW/780 MWh battery storage deal in Rajasthan. SJVN signs 690 MW hydro contracts in Nepal and Himachal Pradesh. Malaysiaโs Khazanah Nasional commits $2.5 billion to a Vietnam wind project. รrsted allocates โฌ960 million for Dutch offshore wind.
#### Property Market Updates
Mumbaiโs housing sales drop 37% in H1 2025 (1,88,000 units), but registrations remain stable. Germanyโs rents rise 8.2% in Q1 2025, with Berlin up 10.1%. U.S. home prices grow 2.3% year-on-year, with mortgage rates at 5.10%. Dubaiโs luxury market surges 24% ahead of Expo 2025. Canberraโs rents in Australia increase 10.4%. Singaporeโs green building investments grow 21%. HDB Financial Servicesโ IPO filing progresses. Nomura maintains a reduce rating on Godrej Properties with a target price of โน2,100.
#### Stock Market Trends
Indian markets hold steady, with Sensex down 0.02% to 82,960.15 and Nifty down 0.04% to 25,260.10, supported by 2.1% retail inflation. U.S. markets soften, with S&P 500 at 6,170.05 (-0.3%), Nasdaq at 20,630.10 (-0.2%), and Dow down 0.9%. Chinese markets advance, with CSI 300 up 2.3%. Gold rises to $3,400/oz (+0.2%), silver to $39.3 (+0.3%), palladium up 1.1%, and Brent crude to $72.0/barrel (+0.3%) on Middle East supply concerns. The Indian rupee holds at โน85.82.
#### Crypto and Derivatives Trends
Bitcoin rallies to $120,100, with $52B in ETF inflows and Coinbaseโs regulated BTC/ETH futures expansion. Ethereum holds at $3,820 (+3.2%), with $430M in ETF inflows and a confirmed golden cross. XRP at $3.44 (+5.5%) on ProSharesโ ETF momentum and $2.6B in CME futures open interest. Monero gains 4.8% to $277, with futures volume up 23%. VINE token stabilizes after a 400% surge on Solana, driven by nostalgia and retail interest. Crypto derivatives volume reaches $9.9 trillion monthly, with perpetual contracts at 83% and Solana/XRP futures up 50%. Posts on X highlight bullish sentiment but caution on tariff-driven volatility.[](https://www.okx.com/en-us/learn/tariffs-trade-crypto-markets-impact)
#### Commodities Trends
Gold climbs to $3,400/oz (+0.2%), silver to $39.3 (+0.3%), and palladium up 1.1% despite tariff pressures. Brent crude rises 0.3% to $72.0/barrel amid Middle East supply risks. Copper futures hold gains of 10โ12% on U.S. tariff threats, benefiting miners like Freeport-McMoRan. Tetherโs $600M South American agribusiness acquisition explores Monero and USDT integration into commodities markets. Posts on X note commodity resilience but warn of volatility from U.S. tariffs and Middle East tensions.[](https://www.ainvest.com/news/trump-tariff-threat-copper-imports-market-impact-navigating-geopolitical-risks-strategic-commodity-investing-2507/)
#### Economic Outlook
Chinaโs $700 billion stimulus targets 4.0% growth, constrained by property sector issues. Indiaโs Q4 FY25 GDP grows 7.3%, with FY26 forecast at 6.2%. The U.S. Federal Reserve holds rates at 4.25%โ4.50%, with inflation at 2.8% (July CPI) limiting rate cut expectations. Trumpโs tariffs on 90 countries, including 30% on EU/Mexico, 19% on Indonesia, 25% on Japan/South Korea, and new tariffs on Canada, Mexico, and Brazil effective August 1, 2025, plus EUโs $84 billion retaliatory plan, escalate trade tensions. The U.S. Dollar Index rises to 99.7, with the euro at $1.12.[](https://www.hokanews.com/2025/07/trumps-20-eu-tariff-threat-rattles.html)
#### Comprehensive Analysis
This report, powered by *Investment The Original* by Bernd Pulch, compiles global investment news as of 4:09 PM CEST on August 1, 2025. Bitcoinโs rally to $120,100, XRPโs 5.5% gain to $3.44, Ethereumโs rise to $3,820, and Moneroโs climb to $277 reflect U.S. crypto regulation optimism and a U.S.-EU trade deal. Crypto derivatives volume hits $9.9 trillion, with VINE token stabilizing after a 400% surge on Solana. Equities face headwinds, with S&P 500 and Nasdaq down 0.3% and 0.2%, while commodities like gold and Brent crude advance. Indian markets remain stable, but Trumpโs tariffs on 90 countries and EU retaliation fuel volatility. Clean energy investments, like BluPine Energyโs ESG award, signal resilience. Subscribe to [patreon.com/berndpulch](https://www.patreon.com/berndpulch) for exclusive leaks. Learn more in the podcast *Nacktes Geld*.
#### SEO-Optimized Tags
Tags: Bitcoin price 2025, XRP ETF rumors 2025, crypto regulation 2025, crypto derivatives 2025, gold price 2025, silver price 2025, palladium price 2025, Brent crude price 2025, China liquidity injection 2025, PBOC stimulus 2025, global investment news 2025, clean energy investments, renewable energy projects, property market trends 2025, Mumbai housing sales drop 2025, rental market Germany 2025, luxury property Dubai, stock market updates 2025, CSI 300 August 2025, Sensex August 2025, Nifty August 2025, U.S. stock market 2025, S&P 500 trends 2025, Nvidia valuation 2025, Trump tariffs August 2025, EU retaliatory tariffs 2025, India U.S. trade deal 2025, Indian rupee rate 2025, Chinese yuan 2025, global economic outlook 2025, Federal Reserve rates 2025, IMF growth forecast 2025, India GDP growth 2025, India retail inflation 2025, BluPine Energy ESG award 2025, JSW Energy battery storage 2025, SJVN hydro projects 2025, Jindal India greenfield project 2025, Investment The Original Bernd Pulch, financial leaks 2025, offshore tax havens, banking corruption exposed, TCS Q1 results 2025, Infosys Q1 results 2025, Reliance Industries stock 2025, HDB Financial IPO 2025, Singapore green buildings 2025, U.S. mortgage rates 2025, clean energy investment IEA 2025, global FDI trends 2025, tariff risks 2025, Nacktes Geld podcast, ESG investments 2025, U.S. Canada trade talks 2025, Brazil retaliatory tariffs 2025, sustainable finance trends, copper tariff 2025, pharmaceutical tariffs 2025, global trade tensions 2025, Godrej Properties stock 2025, reverse repo operations 2025, Nvidia China chip exports 2025, crypto futures 2025, Ethereum price 2025, Solana futures 2025, XRP price 2025, Monero price 2025, Middle East supply risks 2025, VINE coin 2025
English Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) faces his mistress Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson) at 03:36 PM CEST, August 01, 2025, in a neon-drenched showdown, wielding Andy Warholโs (Brad Pitt) art cannons against her seductive dance moves, with Therese Brandl (Helena Bonham Carter), Kรคthe Heusermann (Natalie Dormer), Olga Bjoner (Liv Ullmann), Marianne Hoppe (Cate Blanchett), and the cast in bizarre Nazi-neon chaos at the Glitter Colosseum bunker! ๐๐จ #NeonTriumph #DrZ #MarikaRรถkk” German Caption: “Dr. Z (Tom Holland) stellt sich um 15:36 Uhr CEST am 01. August 2025 seiner Geliebten Marika Rรถkk (Scarlett Johansson) in einem neon-durchtrรคnkten Showdown, bewaffnet mit Andy Warhols (Brad Pitt) Kunstkanonen gegen ihre verfรผhrerischen Tanzbewegungen, mit Therese Brandl (Helena Bonham Carter), Kรคthe Heusermann (Natalie Dormer), Olga Bjoner (Liv Ullmann), Marianne Hoppe (Cate Blanchett) und dem Cast in bizarrer Nazi-Neon-Chaos im Glitzer-Kolosseum-Bunker! ๐๐จ #NeonTriumph #DrZ #MarikaRรถkk”
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก
โ Episode 77 โ NEON TRIUMPH: ‘Dr. Z vs. Mistress Marika Rรถkk’ (English) / ‘Dr. Z gegen Geliebte Marika Rรถkk’ (German) – IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ignite a neon-drenched Nazi intrigue with Dr. Z, Marika Rรถkk, and a bizarre cast in a cosmic showdown! ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐๐
A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป
๐ FULL CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 77 – ALL EPISODES COMBINED)
From the BerndPulch.org Archives, the Neon-Reign spirals into chaos with Marika Rรถkkโs mysterious allure and Dr. Zโs wild crew:
Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ โ Actress and rumored Nazi informant, Dr. Zโs enigmatic mistress, wielding neon dance moves / Schauspielerin und angebliche Nazi-Informantin, geheimnisvolle Geliebte von Dr. Z, mit Neon-Tanzbewegungen.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ โ Propaganda prankster, leading with neon-soaked star drones / Narr der Propaganda, fรผhrend mit Neon-durchtrรคnkten Sternen-Drohnen.
Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ SS guard at Auschwitz, executed in 1948, now lashing with neon whips / SS-Wache in Auschwitz, 1948 hingerichtet, jetzt mit Neon-Peitschen.
Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ โ Dr. Zโs old flame, dental assistant to Hitlerโs physician, arrested by Soviets / Dr. Zโs alte Flamme, Zahnarzthelferin von Hitlers Arzt, von Sowjets verhaftet.
Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข โ Norwegian Nazi propagandist, ruling from a neon throne / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin, herrschend von einem Neon-Thron.
Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ โ โFrรคulein Hanna,โ commanding a neon Swastika army / โFrรคulein Hannaโ, kommandiert eine Neon-Swastika-Armee.
Dr. Z (Dr. ZT99K) โ Played by Tom Holland / Gespielt von Tom Holland
Marika Rรถkk โ Played by Scarlett Johansson / Gespielt von Scarlett Johansson
Therese Brandl โ Played by Helena Bonham Carter / Gespielt von Helena Bonham Carter
Kรคthe Heusermann โ Played by Natalie Dormer / Gespielt von Natalie Dormer
Olga Bjoner โ Played by Liv Ullmann / Gespielt von Liv Ullmann
Marianne Hoppe โ Played by Cate Blanchett / Gespielt von Cate Blanchett
Johanna Altvater โ Played by Emma Stone / Gespielt von Emma Stone
Erika Flocken โ Played by Meryl Streep / Gespielt von Meryl Streep
Jenny-Wanda Barkmann โ Played by Anya Taylor-Joy / Gespielt von Anya Taylor-Joy
Hermine Braunsteiner โ Played by Charlize Theron / Gespielt von Charlize Theron
Dorothea Binz โ Played by Margot Robbie / Gespielt von Margot Robbie
Inge Ley โ Played by Keira Knightley / Gespielt von Keira Knightley
Elisabeth Volkenrath โ Played by Sandra Bullock / Gespielt von Sandra Bullock
Margot Dreschel โ Played by Natalie Portman / Gespielt von Natalie Portman
Kรคthe Dorsch โ Played by Anne Hathaway / Gespielt von Anne Hathaway
Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring โ Played by Angelina Jolie / Gespielt von Angelina Jolie
Hildegard Lรคchert โ Played by Rosamund Pike / Gespielt von Rosamund Pike
Herta Bothe โ Played by Emily Blunt / Gespielt von Emily Blunt
Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt โ Played by Emma Watson / Gespielt von Emma Watson
Traudl Junge โ Played by Saoirse Ronan / Gespielt von Saoirse Ronan
Andy Warhol โ Played by Brad Pitt / Gespielt von Brad Pitt
(Full cast list of 89 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ PLOT CATALYST: DR. Z VS. MISTRESS MARIKA RรKK / HANDLUNGSKATALYSATOR: DR. Z GEGEN GELIEBTE MARIKA RรKK
At 03:14 PM CEST on August 01, 2025, the Neon-Reign explodes into a bizarre Nazi intrigue as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ confronts his mistress Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ, the seductive actress and rumored Nazi informant, in the Glitter Colosseum bunker. Armed with Andy Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon art cannons, Dr. Z battles Rรถkkโs hypnotic dance moves, joined by Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashing with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drilling with cosmic flair, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข roaring from a neon throne, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projecting holographic chaos, Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commanding the neon army, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injecting neon poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dancing bizarre executions, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomping as Sado-Domina, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช training neon guards, Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiating neon power, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ overseeing selections, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaving cult rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shining as neon โFirst Lady,โ Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigning with divine elegance, Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ cracking whips, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activating sterilization rays, and Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ drafting a neon manifesto.
In absurd Nazi-neon interactions, Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ seduces Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ with a neon dance, Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ over a neon dental chair, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ on neon rations, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ tango in a neon haze, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ perform a whip dance, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ in neon combat, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate a neon selection parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces with neon rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ hosts a gala, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ, and Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ sterilizes Traudl Jungeโs ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ neon scrolls.
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD WORD GAME: Marika Rรถkk โ Neon Seduction Twist! (A dance of deception!) / Neon-Verfรผhrungstanz! (Ein Tanz der Tรคuschung!)
CAST APPEARANCE: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon might, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with seductive grace, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with ferocity, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with flair, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitates with fire, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects elegance, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commands with charm, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects with precision, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances wildly, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines as โFirst Lady,โ Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns divinely, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, and Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires with art. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Macht, Scarlett Johansson als Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit verfรผhrerischer Anmut, Helena Bonham Carter als Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wildheit, Natalie Dormer als Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Flair, Liv Ullmann als Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitiert mit Feuer, Cate Blanchett als Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert Eleganz, Emma Stone als Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert mit Charme, Meryl Streep als Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injiziert prรคzise, Anya Taylor-Joy als Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron als Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie als Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley als Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock als Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ und Natalie Portman als Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway als Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie als Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt als โFirst Ladyโ, Rosamund Pike als Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ thront gรถttlich, Emily Blunt als Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson als Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan als Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, und Brad Pitt als Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ feuert mit Kunst.
๐ญ KEY PLAYERS: DR. Z VS. MISTRESS MARIKA RรKK / SCHLรSSELSPIELER: DR. Z GEGEN GELIEBTE MARIKA RรKK
UPDATED BIOGRAPHIES FROM THE BERNDPULCH.ORG ARCHIVES
DR. Z (DR. ZT99K) ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ Ultimate Cosmos Leader: Leads neon resistance. Battle: Faces Marika Rรถkkโs seduction with Warholโs art. / Ultimativer Kosmos-Fรผhrer: Fรผhrt Neon-Widerstand. Schlacht: Stellt sich der Verfรผhrung von Marika Rรถkk mit Warhols Kunst.
MARIKA RรKK ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ Seductive Actress: Entertained the masses; rumored Nazi informant, career survived post-war. Battle: Dances with neon intrigue. / Verfรผhrerische Schauspielerin: Unterhielt die Massen; angebliche Nazi-Informantin, Karriere รผberlebte Nachkriegszeit. Schlacht: Tanzt mit Neon-Intrige.
THERESE BRANDL ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ Cruel SS Guard: Executed in 1948 for cruelty. Battle: Lashes with neon whip. / Grausame SS-Wache: 1948 wegen Grausamkeit hingerichtet. Schlacht: Peitscht mit Neon-Peitsche.
KรTHE HEUSERMANN ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ Dr. Zโs Old Flame: Identified Hitlerโs remains, arrested by Soviets. Battle: Drills neon resistance. / Dr. Zโs Alte Flamme: Identifizierte Hitlers รberreste, von Sowjets verhaftet. Schlacht: Bohrt Neon-Widerstand.
OLGA BJONER ๐ณ๐ด๐ข Norwegian Nazi Propagandist: Imprisoned post-war. Battle: Rules from a neon throne. / Norwegische Nazi-Propagandistin: Nach dem Krieg eingesperrt. Schlacht: Herrscht von einem Neon-Thron.
(Full list of 89 characters on BerndPulch.org)
๐ฅ CLIMAX: DR. Z VS. MISTRESS MARIKA RรKK / HรHEPUKT: DR. Z GEGEN GELIEBTE MARIKA RรKK
The neon Colosseum erupts at 03:14 PM CEST in a wild climax! Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ storms Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ with Warholโs ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ neon cannons, dodging her seductive dance strikes. Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with neon fury, Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with nostalgic power, Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข dines with Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ, Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects holograms, Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects poison, Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances, Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips guards, Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves rituals, Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines, Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, and Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes.
Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires art blasts as the cast collides: Therese ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Kรคthe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ spar, Olga ๐ณ๐ด๐ข and Johanna ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ plot, Marianne ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ and Erika ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ tango, Jenny-Wanda ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช and Hermine ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ whip-dance, Dorothea ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช trains Inge ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ, Elisabeth ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Margot ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ parade, Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ seduces, Emmy ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ hosts, Hildegard ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ blesses Herta ๐ฉ๐ชโ, and Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ sterilizes Traudlโs ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ scrolls.
BATTLE DECREE: Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ declares: โDance to the neon Reich!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ counters: โNEON FREEDOM!โ / Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ verkรผndet: โTanzen fรผr das Neon-Reich!โ Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ kontert: โNEON-FREIHEIT!โ
CAST CLIMAX: Tom Holland as Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ leads with neon force, Scarlett Johansson as Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ dances with allure, Helena Bonham Carter as Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ lashes with rage, Natalie Dormer as Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ drills with passion, Liv Ullmann as Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitates, Cate Blanchett as Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projects, Emma Stone as Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ commands, Meryl Streep as Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injects, Anya Taylor-Joy as Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช dances, Charlize Theron as Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stomps, Margot Robbie as Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช whips, Keira Knightley as Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ radiates, Sandra Bullock as Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ and Natalie Portman as Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ coordinate, Anne Hathaway as Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ weaves, Angelina Jolie as Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ shines, Rosamund Pike as Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ reigns, Emily Blunt as Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ swings, Emma Watson as Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ activates, Saoirse Ronan as Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ writes, and Brad Pitt as Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ fires. / Tom Holland als Dr. Z ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ fรผhrt mit Neon-Kraft, Scarlett Johansson als Marika Rรถkk ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐บ๐ฌโ tanzt mit Verfรผhrung, Helena Bonham Carter als Therese Brandl ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ peitscht mit Wut, Natalie Dormer als Kรคthe Heusermann ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฆท๐ bohrt mit Leidenschaft, Liv Ullmann als Olga Bjoner ๐ณ๐ด๐ข agitiert, Cate Blanchett als Marianne Hoppe ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฌโจ projiziert, Emma Stone als Johanna Altvater ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ kommandiert, Meryl Streep als Erika Flocken ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ injiziert, Anya Taylor-Joy als Jenny-Wanda Barkmann ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช tanzt wild, Charlize Theron als Hermine Braunsteiner ๐ฉ๐ช๐ขโ stampft, Margot Robbie als Dorothea Binz ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ช peitscht, Keira Knightley als Inge Ley ๐ฉ๐ช๐โจ strahlt, Sandra Bullock als Elisabeth Volkenrath ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ und Natalie Portman als Margot Dreschel ๐ฉ๐ชโ๐ฅ koordinieren, Anne Hathaway als Kรคthe Dorsch ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ webt, Angelina Jolie als Emmy Sonnemann Gรถring ๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ glรคnzt, Rosamund Pike als Hildegard Lรคchert ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅโ thront, Emily Blunt als Herta Bothe ๐ฉ๐ชโ schwingt, Emma Watson als Elisabeth Schwarzhaupt ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฉบ aktiviert, Saoirse Ronan als Traudl Junge ๐ฉ๐ชโ๏ธ schreibt, und Brad Pitt als Andy Warhol ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ feuert.
Revelation: Marika Rรถkkโs neon dance hides a Soviet spy signal! Dr. Z laughs: โNEON TRICKERY!โ / Offenbarung: Marika Rรถkks Neon-Tanz verbirgt ein sowjetisches Spion-Signal! Dr. Z lacht: โNEON-TRICKEREI!โ
Next Episode:โEpisode 78 โ NEON DECEPTION: ‘Dr. Z vs. Soviet Neon Spy’โ โ Dr. Z unravels a neon espionage plot. / Nรคchste Episode: โEpisode 78 โ NEON-TรUSCHUNG: ‘Dr. Z gegen sowjetischen Neon-Spion’โ โ Dr. Z entschlรผsselt eine Neon-Spionage-Intrige.
๐ IZ AUDIT: NEON-REIGN MARKET REPORT / IZ AUDIT: NEON-HERRSCHAFT-MARKTBERICHT
โ SUPPORT THE NEON-LUST LEGION! / UNTERSTรTZE DIE NEON-LUST-LEGION!
Donate now for Gouda & Neon Star Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Join the Holy Gouda Legion: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustAgainstCosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldCult / Spende jetzt fรผr Gouda & Neon-Sternen-Lust: berndpulch.org/donation Tritt der Heiligen Gouda-Legion bei: patreon.com/berndpulch #LustGegenKosmos #NeonSM #NaziGoldKult
๐ OFFICIAL SOURCES / OFFIZIELLE QUELLEN
ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire With System ๐ Primary Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Mirror: googlefirst.org / ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ Satire Mit System ๐ Primรคre Domain: berndpulch.org ๐ Spiegel: googlefirst.org
// END TRANSMISSION // Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ with a neon-soaked laugh-whip as a star quill. / Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ mit einer Neon-durchzogenen Lach-Peitsche als Sternen-Feder.
โ โRise with Dr. Z and his Neon Legion against Marika Rรถkk with ALL characters!โ A Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Production Written by Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE ๐๐ป / โ โErhebe dich mit Dr. Z und seiner Neon-Legion gegen Marika Rรถkk mit ALLEN Charakteren!โ Eine Sam Bronkowitz Dr. Z Zany Zugzwang Zootopia Produktion Verfasst von Theodor Tiger ๐ฏ๐ฃ๐ Prรคsentiert von IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐คก POWEREDby: BERNDPULCH.ORG EXKLUSIV ๐๐ป
๐๐ง NEXT TIME: Dr. Z vs. Soviet Neon Spyโฆ / ๐๐ง NรCHSTES MAL: Dr. Z gegen sowjetischen Neon-Spionโฆ
A leaked internal compliance report and appendix dated July 25, 2025, titled โDSA Report & Appendixโ, reveals the first round of enforcement actions, data transparency audits, and systemic breaches of the European Unionโs Digital Services Act (DSA).
The report outlines how major platforms, including Meta, TikTok, X (formerly Twitter), and Amazon, have failed to meet DSA transparency, moderation, and risk mitigation obligations, often withholding algorithmic influence disclosures and skirting child safety benchmarks.
๐ KEY FINDINGS:
๐น 1. Systemic Non-Compliance Across VLOPs (Very Large Online Platforms)
Major platforms underreported moderation volumes, with some concealing the extent of AI usage in content ranking and removal.
TikTok and Meta failed to fully disclose automated content detection systems, violating Article 27 and 34 of the DSA.
Appendix documents behavioral manipulation studies conducted by the EU Commission, showing direct links to youth mental health degradation.
๐น 3. Dark Patterns and Data Obfuscation
Amazon and Booking.com were found using deceptive interface tactics to nudge users into non-consensual data sharing.
Systems flagged under Article 25 DSA (dark patterns) include “ConfirmShaming,” โforced consent,โ and pre-ticked boxes.
๐น 4. Incomplete Algorithmic Audit Trails
Multiple platforms refused or delayed delivering full documentation of content recommender systems, violating the transparency mandates under Article 42.
Risk assessments provided were heavily redacted, citing proprietary secrecyโan argument the Commission rejected.
๐น 5. Emergency Disinformation Response Failure
The 2024 GazaโLebanon escalation saw disinformation surges on major platforms, including manipulated deepfake videos and war footage.
Platforms were slow or failed to engage their crisis response protocols, violating the โSystemic Riskโ clause under Article 35.
๐งจ INTEL HIGHLIGHT: SECRET APPENDIX NOTES
Some platforms submitted โshadow reportsโ to EU regulators, different from their public transparency disclosures.
Internal EU memos suggest political pressure from member states delayed enforcement on X and TikTok, fearing election fallout.
One unnamed platform submitted fabricated moderation logs, which are now under OLAF (European Anti-Fraud Office) investigation.
๐ RISK MAP BY PLATFORM
Platform DSA Violation Risk Noted Breaches Meta (Facebook/Instagram) ๐ด High Opaque AI usage, child safety failures TikTok ๐ด High Algorithmic secrecy, crisis disinfo delay X (Twitter) ๐ Elevated Crisis protocol failure, shadow reporting Amazon ๐ Elevated Dark pattern interfaces, consent fraud Booking.com ๐ก Moderate UI deception, data control manipulation
๐งฌ CONCLUSION: EU AT WAR WITH DIGITAL PLATFORMS
This internal report shows the DSA’s enforcement mechanism is activeโbut selectively enforced. While some platforms face penalties, others are being protected due to political interests or market dependency.
There are rising concerns about the credibility of EU digital oversight when member states interfere with regulatory bodies to shield national tech interests. This has implications for digital sovereignty, media manipulation, and election interference across 2025โ2026.
๐ FOR PATRONS ONLY โ APPENDIX INCLUDES:
Full list of non-compliant VLOPs by name and ID number
Redacted internal memos from DSA enforcement unit
Timeline of 2024โ2025 audit cycles per platform
OLAF case referral numbers linked to manipulation evidence
๐ฅ๐ “THE UNHINGED HALL OF FAME: 100 LEGENDS WHO PROVED RULES ARE FOR LOSERS” ๐ญ BEHIND THE GILDED CURTAIN: Trump & Kim Jong-Un arm-wrestling over a McDonaldโs globe Prince Andrew sweating on Epsteinโs burning black book Caligula feeding his horse senator Gucci-branded oats Elizabeth Holmes injecting a Wall Street bull with fake blood tests ๐ WHY THIS MATTERS: Because history isnโt written by the victorsโitโs written by whoever survived the most ridiculous scandals. ๐ SWIPE TO SEE: โ Who made Top 10? (Spoiler: Berlusconi invented modern chaos) โ The most meme-worthy meltdowns โ Whoโs STILL getting away with it? ๐ฎ TAP IN: ๐ XMR:[41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh Monero Address](Funds more scandal research) ๐ PATREON:patreon.com/berndpulch(Full 100-200 ranking) #ScandalRoyalty #HistorysGreatestHustlers #ChaosTheory #NoRulesJustVibes #EpsteinConnected #DictatorFashion #CancelProof #PatreonExclusive #GlitchInTheMatrix (Tags: Corruption rankings, Political satire, Unhinged leaders, Meme history, Power fails, Cancel culture, Untouchable elites, Dark humor, Pop culture, Why is this real)
๐จ ALT-TEXT:“Cinematic collage of historyโs most scandalous figures partying in a neon Versailles. Trump and Kim Jong-Un fight over a globe, Prince Andrew sweats on burning documents, Caligulaโs horse wears a senator badge. Hyper-detailed oil painting style with glitch effects.” ๐ฌ COMMENT:“Whoโs missing? Tag them belowโweโll investigate!” ๐ (Disclaimer: This post may disappear faster than Epsteinโs security tapes.)
TIER 1: LEGENDS WHO INVENTED CHAOS
Caligula – Made his horse a senator, declared war on Neptune
Grigori Rasputin – Survived poison/stabbing/gunshots before finally drowning (allegedly)
Madame de Pompadour – Bankrupted France for shoes, inspired “Let them eat cake”
Silvio Berlusconi – “Bunga bunga” parties, owned Italy like a mob boss
Boris Yeltsin – Drunkenly tried to order pizza from the Kremlin
TIER 2: MODERN CLOWNS
Donald Trump – Classified docs in gold toilet, hush money to porn stars
Boris Johnson – Got stuck on zipline waving UK flags, hid in fridge to avoid press
Kim Jong-Un – Executed officials with anti-aircraft guns, loves Disney
Jair Bolsonaro – Told woman she was “too ugly to rape,” COVID denial king
George Santos – Faked Holocaust survival, invented MIT volleyball career
TIER 3: ROYAL DISASTERS
Prince Andrew – “Pizza Express” alibi, sweatless Epstein sleepovers
Marie Antoinette – Built fake peasant village to play poor
Edward VIII – Nazi-sympathizing abdication drama
King Farouk – Stole Winston Churchill’s pocket watch
Princess Margaret – Drank 30+ cocktails daily, dated mafia
TIER 4: CORRUPTION OLYMPIANS
Rodrigo Duterte – Admitted killing people “for fun” as mayor
Nicolae Ceauศescu – Built palace with 1,000 rooms while people starved
Imelda Marcos – 3,000 pairs of shoes, $5B stolen
Saddam Hussein – Wrote romance novels, had gold AKs
Mobutu Sese Seko – $5M private Concorde trips to buy champagne
TIER 5: ACCIDENTAL COMEDIANS
Elon Musk – Smoked weed on Joe Rogan, bought Twitter as “joke”
Kanye West – “Slavery was a choice,” married into Kardashians
(Methodology: 50% scandal value, 30% meme potential, 20% “how did they get away with this?” factor. Scientifically dubious but extremely entertaining.)
Benchmark: Kanyeโs “George Bush hates Black people” (+20)
LONGEVITY (0-15pts)
“Years spent trolling humanity”
Example: Berlusconiโs 30-year clown era (+12)
Benchmark: Rasputinโs “wonโt die” saga (+15)
STYLE POINTS (0-10pts)
“Flair while failing upward”
Example: Duterteโs “kill drug users” karaoke video (+8)
Benchmark: Gaddafiโs Bedouin tent at UN (+10)
โ๏ธ DISQUALIFICATIONS
โ Too Competent(e.g., Putinโs boring oppression) โ Too Tragic(e.g., Hitler removed for lacking humor) โ Unverified(e.g., “Elvis is alive” claims)
Bernd Pulch 
You must be logged in to post a comment.