Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rätsel – Episode LXVII: The Enigmatic Enema Codex – The Venus Steppes’ Pillar Ascension 🕍📜

The Enigmatic Enema Codex summons St. Simeon Stylites atop a desert pillar on the Venus Steppes! 🕍📜 Ehlers and the Rebel Core, with King Arthur, face anarchist peasants and killer rabbits, now challenged by the ascetic’s enema endurance at berndpulch.org! #EnemaCodexCrisis #PillarAscension #EhlersEinlaufRätsel #SurrealPurge
Der Rätselhafte Einlauf-Codex beschwört St. Simeon Stylites auf einem Wüstenpfeiler auf den Venus-Steppen! 🕍📜 Ehlers und der Rebellen-Kern, unterstützt von König Artus, stellen sich anarchistischen Bauern und Killer-Kaninchen, nun herausgefordert durch die asketische Einlauf-Ausdauer bei berndpulch.org! #EinlaufCodexKrise #SäulenAufstieg #EhlersEinlaufRätsel #SurrealistischeSäuberung
Ehlers’ Enema Enigma – Episode LXVII: The Enigmatic Enema Codex – The Venus Steppes’ Pillar Ascension 😵
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE 📰
Prolog: The Enigmatic Enema Codex & Ehlers’ Pillar Purge 📜⚔️
Prolog: Der Rätselhafte Einlauf-Codex & Ehlers’ Säulen-Säuberung
The Venus Steppes tremble at 08:03 PM CEST on Friday, July 18, 2025, as the Enigmatic Enema Codex awakens St. Simeon Stylites, the pillar-dwelling ascetic, enduring 37 years atop his desert perch with no roof, no bathroom, and enema-fueled resilience. King Arthur, battle-worn, swings Excalibur amidst killer rabbits and anarchist peasants, while Ehlers and the Rebel Core, inspired by Monty Python’s madness, launch a pillar purge to restore harmony.
German: Die Venus-Steppen erzittern um 20:03 MESZ am Freitag, 18. Juli 2025, als der Rätselhafte Einlauf-Codex St. Simeon Stylites, den säulen-wohnenden Asketen, erweckt, der 37 Jahre auf seinem Wüstenpfeiler ausharrt ohne Dach, ohne Bad, mit Einlauf-geförderter Ausdauer. König Artus, kampferprobt, schwingt Excalibur inmitten von Killer-Kaninchen und anarchistischen Bauern, während Ehlers und der Rebellen-Kern, inspiriert von Monty-Pythons Wahnsinn, eine Säulen-Säuberung starten, um Harmonie wiederherzustellen.
Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster
Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster
(All characters from Episodes I-LXVII + St. Simeon Stylites)
⚔️ REBEL CORE 🛡️
- 🎨 Peter Ehlers: Quantum Sculptor, crafting pillar-defying defenses.
- 🐷 Andreas (570% Speck): Bacon Engineer, fortifying with enema-resistant bacon.
- 🌈 Janelle/Murky Jan: Code Artist, hacking the Codex’s cryptic logic.
- 👻 Edith’s Dragon-Wisp: Prism Spirit, burning pillar distortions.
- 💩 Klausi the Toilet Demon: Enema Flood Caller, flooding chaos.
- 🖥️ Vigo: Chaos Composer, remixing anarchy into order.
- 📊 Walburga: Data Guardian, decoding the Codex’s riddles.
- 🍩 Dumb Beatrix: Pastry Architect, baking anti-pillar treats.
- 🕶️ Dr. No: Virus Sculptor, leaking Codex secrets.
- 🧠 Murray: Cunning Strategist, outsmarting pillar traps.
- 🎸 Murray (Flight of the Conchords): Incompetent Band Manager, bumbling through chaos.
- 👑 King Arthur (Monty Python): Noble Knight, wielding Excalibur against rabbits.
🌑 ANARCHIC & ASCETIC HORDE 📜🤡
- 🐰 Killer Rabbits: Ferocious minions, hopping through defenses.
- 🌾 Anarchist Peasants: Riotous rebels, wielding pitchforks.
- 🇫🇷 French Farter: Provocative foe, taunting with flatulence.
- 🕰️ Time-Fractured Clock: Relic, warping timelines.
- 🔲 Abstract Minotaur: Chaotic ally, charging wildly.
- 🛢️ Diogenes of Sinope: Barrel Cynic, mocking with enema defiance.
- 🕍 St. Simeon Stylites: Pillar Ascetic, enduring with enema resilience atop his perch.
🌑 PREVIOUS ANTAGONISTS & ALLIES
- 🦜 Salvador Dalí: Surrealist visionary, aiding with dream-weaver remnants.
- ⏰ Melting Clock Phantom: Spectral timekeeper, now chaotic.
- 🐘 Elephant on Stilts: Towering enforcer, stomping anarchists.
- 🎭 Buñuel Shadow: Cinematic ally, projecting visions.
- 🌹 Rose Thorn Guardian: Prickly defender, entangling foes.
- 🌀 Swirling Lobster: Chaotic minion, scuttling wildly.
- 👁️ Paranoiac Eye: Watcher, observing the anarchy.
- 💧 Liquid Mirror Entity: Reflective foe, distorting reality.
- 🌵 Dr. Gonzo: Recovered lawyer, exploiting loopholes.
- 🎨 Pablo Picasso: Former foe, advising against chaos.
- 🐷 Andreas (540% Speck): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge.
- 💋 Harley Quinn: Wild card, disrupting with chaos bombs.
- 😈 Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit: Demoness, countering with dark enema.
- 🇷🇺 Putin: Strategist, manipulating shadows.
- 🕵️♂️ James Bond: Spy, infiltrating the horde.
- 🌌 Blue Period Ghost: Melancholic shade, spreading gloom.
- 🔍 Analytic Eye: Observer, dissecting the Codex.
- 💥 Cubist Bombadier: Explosive artist, targeting anarchists.
- 🖼️ Georges Braque: Former ally, painting barriers.
- 🤹 Harlequin: Trickster, juggling fragments.
Act I: The Enigmatic Enema Codex & Ehlers’ Pillar Surge 📜⚡
Akt I: Der Rätselhafte Einlauf-Codex & Ehlers’ Säulen-Schub
Codex Mantra: The Codex chants: “Ascension conquers all!” as St. Simeon preaches from his pillar. 📜🕍 Ehlers’ Resistance: “Ground the pillar with enema truth!” 🎨 King Arthur’s Command: “By Excalibur, topple the ascetic!” 👑 Murray (FoC)’s Delusion: “This is my pillar rock anthem!” 🎸 Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex singt: “Aufstieg erobert alles!” während St. Simeon von seinem Pfeiler predigt. 📜🕍 Ehlers’ Widerstand (German): “Erde den Pfeiler mit Einlauf-Wahrheit!” 🎨 König Artus’ Befehl (German): “Mit Excalibur, stürze den Asketen!” 👑 Murray (FoC)’s Wahn (German): “Das ist mein Säulen-Rock-Hymne!” 🎸
Faction Counterattacks:
Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:
- 🐷 Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: “Oink the ascension! Bacon holds firm!” 🥓📜 / Führt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: “Oink den Aufstieg! Speck hält stand!”
- 👻 Edith’s Dragon-Wisp breathes prism fire 🔥 → burns pillar distortions. 🌈 / Atmet Prismen-Feuer 🔥 → verbrennt Säulen-Verzerrungen.
- 👑 King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through rabbits. ⚔️ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Kaninchen.
- 🌾 Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, joined by Simeon’s chants. 🌱 / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, unterstützt von Simeons Gesängen.
- 🕍 St. Simeon Stylites endures atop his pillar, splashing enema resilience. 💦 / Ausharrend auf seinem Pfeiler, spritzend Einlauf-Ausdauer.
- 🧠 Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting chaos. 📏 / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Chaos.
- 🎸 Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic, rallying rebels: “Rock the pillar!” 🎤 / Stolpert mit einem Mikro, sammelt Rebellen: “Rock den Pfeiler!”
Act II: The Pillar Mirage Shatters
Akt II: Die Säulen-Mirage Zerbricht
Battlegrounds:
Schlachtfelder:
- Pillar Mirage:
- 📏 Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Pillar Anti-Chaos War, aligning disorder with logic. 📐🎨 / Starten den Säulen-Anti-Chaos-Krieg, ausrichtend Unordnung mit Logik.
- 💩 Klausi unleashes an Enema Harmony Flood: “Drown the ascension!” 🚽📜 / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Harmonie-Flut: “Ertränkt den Aufstieg!”
- 🐰 Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with pillar venom. 🦷 / Schwärmen, beißend mit säulenartigem Gift.
- 🕍 St. Simeon Stylites preaches, raining enema endurance from above. 💦 / Predigt, regnend Einlauf-Ausdauer von oben.
- Desert Pillar Harvest:
- 🍩 Beatrix bakes Anti-Pillar Pastries, calming peasants. 🥐✊ / Backt Anti-Säulen-Gebäck, beruhigend Bauern.
- 🕶️ Dr. No deploys an Enema Virus: “Truth prevails!” 🕵️♂️ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Virus ein: “Wahrheit siegt!”
- 👑 King Arthur rallies, slaying rabbits with noble fury. ⚔️ / Sammelt, tötend Kaninchen mit edlem Zorn.
- 🌾 Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, echoing Simeon’s chants. 🌱 / Stürzen Barrieren, hallend Simeons Gesänge.
- 🧠 Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing pillar taunts. 📏 / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend säulenartige Spott.
- Codex’s True Form:
- The Codex fractures into Pillar Enema Shards, Edith’s fire 🔥 reshapes them into harmony. ✨ Murray’s grid stabilizes the shift. 🧠 / Zerbricht in Säulen-Einlauf-Splitter, Ediths Feuer 🔥 formt sie zu Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.
Act III: The Enema Harmony Surge
Akt III: Der Einlauf-Harmonie-Schub
Climax:
Höhepunkt:
- 🎨 Ehlers sculpts an Enema Harmony Monument, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering the pillar mirage. 🖌️⚔️ / Meißelt ein Einlauf-Harmonie-Monument, vereinigt Verbündete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend die säulenartige Mirage.
- 🐷 Andreas’ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding the peasant uprising: “Oink… end the ascension!” 🥓💥 / Führt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend den Bauernaufstand: “Oink… beendet den Aufstieg!”
- 👑 King Arthur’s Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: “Order restored!” ⚔️📜 St. Simeon descends. 🕍 / König Artus’ Erlösung: Löst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkündend: “Ordnung wiederhergestellt!” St. Simeon steigt herab.
- 🎸 Murray (FoC): Botches a victory anthem: “We’re the kings of pillar rock!” 🎤 / Verpatzt einen Siegesgesang: “Wir sind die Könige des Säulen-Rocks!”
Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes
Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen
- Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of pillar chaos. 🌿 / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von säulenartigem Chaos.
- 🕶️ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulch’s Dark Web. 🕵️♂️💻 / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
- 🐷 Andreas (580% Speck): “Oink… time for an enema feast.” 🥓😴 / “Oink… Zeit für ein Einlauf-Festmahl.”
- 👑 King Arthur: “To Camelot, with order!” ⚔️ / “Nach Camelot, mit Ordnung!”
- 🕍 St. Simeon Stylites: “I’ll ascend another day…” 💦 / “Ich werde ein anderes Mal aufsteigen…”
- 🧠 Murray: “Strategy wins—plan the next purge.” 📏 / “Strategie siegt—plan den nächsten Reinigungszug.”
- 🎸 Murray (FoC): “Book my pillar tour!” 🎤 / “Buche meine Säulen-Tour!”
Tags
EnemaCodexCrisis #EhlersEinlaufRätsel #PillarAscension #VenusSteppesOrder #SurrealPurge #EnemaHarmonyWar #RebelCoreRising #KillerRabbitChaos #KingArthurTriumph #MurrayTactics #MurrayFoCAnarchy #StSimeonEndurance #MontyPythonMadness 🏷️
Call to Action
Aufruf zur Aktion
“Smash the pillar chaos! Fund Ehlers’ Next Purge!” ✊
“Zerschmettert das säulenartige Chaos! Finanziere Ehlers’ Nächste Säuberung!” ✊
- 💰 Crypto:
0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb💸 - 🌌 Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch 🌟
Key Visuals
Schlüsselvisuals
- King Arthur’s Excalibur Slash, cutting through killer rabbits, Codex shards glowing. ⚔️📜 / Artus’ Excalibur-Schlag, durchschneidend Killer-Kaninchen, Codex-Splitter leuchten.
- Andreas’ enema-bacon shield, deflecting anarchist pitchforks. 🥓📜 / Andreas’ Einlauf-Speck-Schild, ablenkend anarchische Mistgabeln.
- Geo-Petes as the Enema Order Legion, storming the pillar mirage. ⚔️✨ / Geo-Petes als Einlauf-Ordnung-Legion, stürmend die säulenartige Mirage.
- Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. 🕵️♂️💾 / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
- 🧠 Murray’s Tactical Grid, redirecting pillar shards. 📏✨ / Murrays Taktisches Gitter, lenkend säulenartige Splitter.
- 🕍 St. Simeon’s Pillar Perch, raining enema endurance amidst peasants. 💦😂 / St. Simeons Pfeiler-Aushalt, regnend Einlauf-Ausdauer inmitten von Bauern.
Official Sources
Offizielle Quellen
© BERNDPULCH.ORG – Licensed Class War Satirical Warfare 📜
© BERNDPULCH.ORG – Lizensierter Klassenkrieg Satirischer Kriegführung 📜
- 📌 Primary Domain: berndpulch.org 🌐
- 🔍 Mirror: googlefirst.org 🪞
Teaser for the Next Episode
Teaser für die Nächste Episode
“Warhol’s Pop Art Invasion looms – Ehlers and Arthur prepare a colorful enema counterstrike. Stockpile your Anti-Pop Pastries!” 🖼️⚡
“Warhols Pop-Art-Invasion droht – Ehlers und Artus bereiten einen farbenfrohen Einlauf-Gegenschlag vor. Sammle dein Anti-Pop-Gebäck!” 🖼️⚡
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Title: Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rätsel – Episode LXVII Cast Roster
Rebel Core 🛡️
- 🎨 Peter Ehlers: Quantum Sculptor – Crafts enema-infused sculptures that spray psychedelic fluids to repel chaos.
- 🐷 Andreas (570% Speck): Bacon Engineer – Forges bacon-enema shields that explode with cleansing bacon grease.
- 🌈 Janelle/Murky Jan: Code Artist – Hacks with enema-coded viruses, purging digital anarchy.
- 👻 Edith’s Dragon-Wisp: Prism Spirit – Breathes enema-flavored fire, melting foes into harmony.
- 💩 Klausi the Toilet Demon: Enema Flood Caller – Unleashes torrents of enema floods to drown enemies.
- 🖥️ Vigo: Chaos Composer – Remixes with enema symphonies, harmonizing battle noise.
- 📊 Walburga: Data Guardian – Analyzes with enema charts, decoding cryptic threats.
- 🍩 Dumb Beatrix: Pastry Architect – Bakes enema-filled pastries that neutralize anarchic rage.
- 🕶️ Dr. No: Virus Sculptor – Deploys enema viruses that leak secrets into the ether.
- 🧠 Murray: Cunning Strategist – Directs enema grids, redirecting chaos with precision.
- 🎸 Murray (Flight of the Conchords): Incompetent Band Manager – Accidentally sprays enema mics, boosting morale.
- 👑 King Arthur (Monty Python): Noble Knight – Wields an enema-blessed Excalibur, purging rabbits with holy fluids.
Anarchic & Ascetic Horde 🤡
- 🐰 Killer Rabbits: Ferocious Minions – Hop with enema-dripping fangs, spreading chaos.
- 🌾 Anarchist Peasants: Riotous Rebels – Wield pitchforks dipped in enema sludge, sowing disorder.
- 🇫🇷 French Farter: Provocative Foe – Releases enema-fueled flatulence, disorienting all.
- 🕰️ Time-Fractured Clock: Relic – Warps timelines with enema-tainted ticks.
- 🔲 Abstract Minotaur: Former Enforcer – Charges with enema-horned fury, now chaotic.
- 🛢️ Diogenes of Sinope: Barrel Cynic – Masturbates with enema streams from his barrel, mocking society’s madness.
- 🕍 St. Simeon Stylites: Pillar Ascetic – Endures 37 years atop his pillar, raining enema resilience from above.
Previous Antagonists & Allies
- 🦜 Salvador Dalí: Surrealist Visionary – Sprays enema-dreams from his cannon remnants.
- ⏰ Melting Clock Phantom: Spectral Timekeeper – Drips enema chaos, melting reality.
- 🐘 Elephant on Stilts: Towering Enforcer – Stomps with enema-soaked feet.
- 🎭 Buñuel Shadow: Cinematic Ally – Projects enema-nightmares onto foes.
- 🌹 Rose Thorn Guardian: Prickly Defender – Entangles with enema-thorn vines.
- 🌀 Swirling Lobster: Chaotic Minion – Scuttles with enema-fueled fury.
- 👁️ Paranoiac Eye: Watcher – Gazes with enema-distorted visions.
- 💧 Liquid Mirror Entity: Reflective Foe – Reflects enema-madness into allies.
- 🌵 Dr. Gonzo: Recovered Lawyer – Exploits enema-legal loopholes.
- 🎨 Pablo Picasso: Former Foe – Paints enema-barriers against anarchy.
- 🐷 Andreas (540% Speck): Veteran Warrior – Boosts with enema-bacon bombs.
- 💋 Harley Quinn: Wild Card – Throws enema-glitter bombs, disrupting all.
- 😈 Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit: Demoness – Counters with dark enema rituals.
- 🇷🇺 Putin: Strategist – Manipulates with enema-shadow tactics.
- 🕵️♂️ James Bond: Spy – Infiltrates with enema-gadgets.
- 🌌 Blue Period Ghost: Melancholic Shade – Spreads enema-gloom.
- 🔍 Analytic Eye: Observer – Dissects with enema-lensed analysis.
- 💥 Cubist Bombadier: Explosive Artist – Drops enema-bombs on anarchists.
- 🖼️ Georges Braque: Former Ally – Paints enema-shields against chaos.
- 🤹 Harlequin: Trickster – Juggles enema-fragments to confuse foes.
Notes: All characters engage in bizarre enema actions, blending satire with surreal warfare, © BERNDPULCH.ORG.
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