🔥 “EPSTEIN’S BLACK BOOK 2.0: The ‘Suicided’ Files That Just Won’t Die”A Satirical Autopsy Report by @BerndPulch

ART, BERND PULCH, CLOWN SHOW, COMEDY, ENTERTAINMENT, PARODY, SATIRE 3 Minutes
🔥 “EPSTEIN’S QUANTUM AFTERPARTY: The Multiverse of Corruption”
An Interdimensional Satire by @BerndPulch

🌌 TIMELINE LEAKS
2019: Epstein’s corpse autographs flight logs
2025: Maxwell & Clinton trade prison recipes via neuralink
1987: Young Epstein files “Lolita.xls” on floppy
Yelp Review: 1/5 stars – “Drinks were spiked in all timelines”

⚡ WHY THIS BREAKS THE INTERNET
✅ AI-Uncovered: 5D evidence of elite crimes
✅ Time-Warp Tech: See cover-ups evolve in real-time
✅ Your Tax Dollars: Funded every damn dimension

👇 DIVE DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE
1️⃣ TAG someone stuck in the wrong timeline
2️⃣ COMMENT which year’s cover-up was sloppiest
3️⃣ SHARE before they patch reality
🔗 FULL MULTIVERSE FOOTAGE (Tor + Quantum Mirror)

🛸 PLATFORM-SPECIFIC VIRAL HACKS
Twitter: “BREAKING: Epstein spotted in 3 timelines at once” + glitch effect
Instagram: Swipeable 4D carousel (past/present/future)
Reddit: “Zoom to find the hidden 1987 CIA memo”
ALT-TEXT: “Flux AI art of Epstein’s cross-dimensional lounge – ghost host serves Clinton in 2025 while 1987 agents compile blackmail. Time fractures reveal endless cover-up versions.”

⚠️ MULTIVERSE DISCLAIMER
“This satire exists in all timelines simultaneously. Any resemblance to actual crimes is… well, you know.” #NotLegalInAnyReality
TOP TAGS:
EpsteinMultiverse #QuantumLeaks #TemporalCorruption #GlitchTheSystem #BerndPulch

💥 FINAL TRANSMISSION:
*”They thought killing him ended the story… but the files are *quantum entangled.”
FUND THE TIMELINE WAR
“Every XMR corrupts their past.” ⏳💣

💀 EXCLUSIVE FINDINGS

✔️ Black Book Update: Now with 50% more intelligence agency contacts
✔️ Flight Logs: “Lolita Air” now accepting MileagePlus points
✔️ Prison CCTV: Shows Epstein practicing “advanced breathing exercises” (no pulse required)

Yelp Review: 1/5 stars – “Convenient location, terrible security”

🕵️♂️ MEET THE NEW CAST

  • Ghislaine Maxwell: Now running a “Princess to Prison” influencer series
  • Bill Clinton: Claims he “only visited for the smoothies”
  • Prince Andrew: Launches “Sweat-Free Public Appearances” masterclass
  • CIA “E-Prime” Program: “Human trafficking? No, just… uh… asset extraction.”

🌐 WHY THIS STILL TRENDS

1️⃣ Elites Love a Sequel – More names, same cover-up
2️⃣ AI-Powered Leaks – Decrypting what “suicided” really means
3️⃣ Your Tax Dollars – Funded the blackmail, now funds the silence

👇 DOWNLOAD BEFORE DELETION

1️⃣ TAG a CEO who’s weirdly sweating
2️⃣ COMMENT “But her emails!” for irony points
3️⃣ SHARE before this gets “fact-checked”

🔗 FULL ARCHIVE (Tor mirror available)

⚡ PLATFORM HACKS

Twitter: “BREAKING: Epstein’s ghost just liked 17 politician profiles”
Instagram: Carousel of “Then vs. Now” mugshots
Reddit: “The math ain’t mathing” (flight log analysis)

ALT-TEXT: “AI-generated ‘Epstein VIP Lounge’—Clinton mixing drinks, Prince Andrew avoiding cameras, and a CCTV feed of ‘suicide’ yoga poses. Dark satire.”

📌 PINNED DISCLAIMER

“This is speculative satire. Any resemblance to actual blackmail ops is purely hilarious. #NotLegalAdvice”

TOP TAGS:

EpsteinFiles #BlackBook2 #LolitaLeaks #SuicidedSquad #BerndPulch

💥 FINAL TRANSMISSION:
*”They killed the man… but the files? The files are *immortal.”

FUND THE LEAKS
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