A Bernd Pulch Exclusive – Now Streaming on All NATO Platforms
💥
✅ Oscar-worthy war choreography (Sponsored by Raytheon)
✅ Supporting cast: NATO extras, IMF producers & CNN script doctors
✅ Plot twist: Real bullets
👇 TAG someone who still thinks this is documentary
🔗 Full Behind-the-Scenes Exposé
#ZelenskySatire #WarPorn #HollywoodGeopolitics #NATOTheater #BerndPulch #DarkHumor
“AI Exposé: Ukraine War as Blockbuster Production”
This cinematic satire reveals:
✔️ How “Servant of the People” became “Puppet of the West”
✔️ Why CNN gets best cinematography for trench footage
✔️ The real special effects: Your tax dollars at work
SEO Keywords:
Zelensky Hollywood presidency
War propaganda satire
Media manipulation exposed
NATO-funded conflict
✍️ Support uncensored journalism: Donate
Tags: #PoliticalSatire #WarMemes #MediaCorruption #DeepStateHumor
💀
“BREAKING: Zelensky cast in ‘Mission Impossible 8’ as man who actually believed NATO promises“
“Method acting too real?
👉 @BerndPulch
#OscarForWarCrimes #BidenApprovedScript
🎯
✅ “Hollywood + war + Zelensky” Tag a believer / Spot the props
✅
“ Zelensky directing war movie with NATO crew while real Kyiv burns behind green screen”
📸
Zelensky in director’s chair with explosion backdrop
[1st Comment]
*”POV: You realize *‘based on true events’* means ‘funded by your pension’“* 💸🔥
[2nd Comment]
*More tags for the *shadowban gods:
#WarTheater #CrisisActors #WesternNarrative #Medialeaks
MORE EDGY (“Body count = Oscar submissions”)MORE MEME (*”Zelensky as *Oscar Isaac* in Dune: Ukraine“*)LESS POLITICAL (**Hollywood satire**)Support the resistance: berndpulch.org
*”They *write* history. We leak the rough draft.”* 📜🔥
(Now streaming on all NATO-aligned platforms.)
🎬 “ZELENSKY: THE HOLLYWOOD PRESIDENCY”
A Bernd Pulch Production – Sponsored by NATO, the IMF, and Warner Bros.
🎭 ACT 1: FROM COMEDIAN TO COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF
(2019: A TV studio in Kyiv. Zelensky finishes his last comedy sketch.)
PRODUCER: “Great ratings! What’s next?”
ZELENSKY: *”How about… *President*? But with *better costumes.” 🎤👔
*(Cue *slow-motion walk* to the presidential palace, soundtracked by “Eye of the Tiger”.)*
💣 ACT 2: THE OSCAR-WORTHY WAR PERFORMANCE
*(2022: Zelensky in *military green, Zooming into the G7.)
ZELENSKY: *”I need *weapons*! *Money*! *A cameo in ‘Mission Impossible’!”
WORLD LEADERS: *”Here’s *$100 billion* and a standing ovation!”* 👏💸
*(Meanwhile, in Bakhmut: A soldier checks his *empty ammo pouch* and sighs.)*
🎤 ACT 3: THE TED TALK TOUR
*(2023: Zelensky *crowdsurfs* at the UN, rockstar style.)*
UN DELEGATE: “Your speech moved me!”
ZELENSKY: *”Thanks! *Season 2* drops after this commercial break!”* 📢🍿
*(Cut to *Ukrainian trenches*: Soldiers watch on a *cracked phone*, *laughing bitterly.)
🌍 ACT 4: THE GRAND FINALE (2024)
*(Zelensky *auditions* for President of Europe.)*
ZELENSKY: *”I *played* a hero… until the role played me.”*
HOLLYWOOD DIRECTOR: *”Cut! *Oscar nomination secured!” 🏆
*(Roll credits over *Kyiv in ruins.)
🎯 WHY THIS CUTS DEEP:
✅ Zelensky’s pivot: From sitcoms to scripted geopolitics
✅ The West’s obsession: A telegenic underdog (with subtitles)*
✅ Reality check: War as entertainment, suffering as content
🔗 FULL UNCENSORED CUT:
👉 berndpulch.org/zelensky-show *(Before *Disney* buys the rights.)*
🏷️ TAGS FOR THE ALGORITHMIC WAR MACHINE:
ZelenskySatire #WarPorn #HollywoodGeopolitics #NATOTheater #BerndPulch
⚠️ DISCLAIMER: *This parody *may* trigger Blue Checkmarks, CNN, and *people who think war has a *third act.
P.S. The real “Servant of the People” was the IMF loans we defaulted on along the way. 🇺🇦💸
P.P.S. Like this post? *Your *location* has been shared with 12,000 “democracy partners”.* 🌍🤝
💎 STANDARD CTA (Professional but Punchy)
“They silence truth. We weaponize satire. You fuel the resistance.
🔐 Donate now to keep Bernd Pulch uncensored: berndpulch.org/donation
*”Because the only ‘foundation’ we trust is one built on *transparency—not Gates money.”
🔥 EDGY VARIANT (For Social Media)
*”WARNING: This donation link *may* trigger globalist algorithms.*
💰 Anonymous crypto accepted (Monero/XMR preferred)
👉 berndpulch.org/donation
*”PS: If this disappears, check your *local Fed memo* or 5G tower.”*
🖥️ TECH-SAVVY VERSION
*”SSL encrypted. No ‘suggested donation’ algorithms.
Support *uncensored* journalism before it’s relocated to a black site:
berndpulch.org/donation
*”Unlike Big Tech, we *won’t* tax-deduct your free will.”*
🎭 SATIRICAL “TIERS” (For Engagement)
“CHOOSE YOUR REBELLION PACKAGE:
- $5: *”I *mildly* annoy the WEF”*
- $20: *”I *leak* *Buffett’s *ketchup* recipe“*
- $100+: *”I *own* a Klaus Schwab voicemail clone“*
🔗 berndpulch.org/donation
📌
*”Donate—or we’ll *sell* this CTA to BlackRock as an NFT.”* 😈
P.S. Cash accepted via dead drop in Davos trash cans. 🗑️💶
*(All donations *double* as therapy invoices for reading this website.)*
🔍 OFFICIAL INTELLIGENCE SOURCES
🟢 Primary Domain: BerndPulch.org – Licensed Intelligence Media
🔄 Mirror Site: GoogleFirst.org – Document Archive
📁 Archives: Rumble Videos • WordPress Briefings
💎 CLASSIFIED ACCESS
🔓 Patrons receive:
- 🔐 Classified document briefings
- ⚠️ Uncensored geopolitical reports
- 🚨 Early leak notifications
👉 Unlock Full Access Now
📜 VERIFIED CREDENTIALS
💰 ANONYMOUS SUPPORT
🪙 Cryptocurrency Donations:
“`bash
BTC/ETH/BNB: 0xdaa3b8…d616bb
Multi-Chain: 0x271588…7AC7f
XMR: 41yKiG6…Coh
🛑 BERND PULCH ARCHIVE | SECURE MIRROR 