**”JOE ROGAN’S *ULTIMATE PODCAST*: DMT ELVES, IVERMECTIN & THE *ALGORITHMIC APOCALYPSE* ️轢**
*This episode’s *guests*:*
– **A *Sasquatch* with *peer-reviewed* *mRNA concerns*** 琉
– **Elon’s *neuralink* beta-testing *chimp*** 易
– **Spotify’s *CEO* crying in *Neil Young’s *torn sweater***
The *only* podcast where *facts* are *optional* but *alpha brain* is *mandatory*.
**Tag someone who *quotes Joe unironically***
[Full Psychedelic Satire](https://berndpulch.org)
**#JoeRoganExperience #DMTUniverse #IvermectinMemes #PodcastSatire #BroScience #BerndPulch #CancelCulture #SpotifyPurge**
—
**”Joe Rogan’s *DMT-Fueled* *Multiverse* of *Conspiracy*”**
This *cinematic parody* explores:
✔️ How *”just asking questions”* became *”accidentally starting cults”*
✔️ Why *Jamie* is the *real* *MVP* (and *potential hostage*)
✔️ *Spotify’s *content moderation*: *”Lol *no*”*
**Why It Trends:**
1. Rogan’s *brain* = *70% elk meat*, *30% terryfold theories*
2. *Mars podcast era*
3. Your *algorithm* is *judging you* for reading this
✍️ **Support uncensored comedy:** [Donate](https://berndpulch.org/donation)
**Tags:** #JoeRoganParody #PodcastHumor #DarkComedy #TechSatire #CensorshipMemes #BerndPulch
🍄 ACT 1: THE BIRTH OF A GURU
*(1995: A comedy club bathroom. Young Joe snorts *kale.)
YOUNG JOE: *”What if… *comedy*… but with *pseudoscience?”
DMT ELF (appearing): *”Bro… *yes.” 🌈🧪
*(The *first podcast* is recorded on a Tamagotchi.)*
🦍 ACT 2: THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD™
*(2020: Studio lights dim. A *chimpanzee* adjusts the mic.)*
JOE: *”Today’s *expert*: A guy who *licked* a toad and cured 5G!”* 🐸📡
GUEST: “Actually, I—”
JOE: *”SHUT UP! *Jamie*, pull up that *YouTube* from ’nam!”*
(Jamie* quietly Googles “how to disappear”.)*
💉 ACT 3: THE SPOTIFY PURGE
*(2022: A *very normal* pandemic.)*
SPOTIFY CEO: *”Joe, you *can’t* say horse paste cures everything!”*
JOE: *”Challenge *accepted.” 🐴🍏
(Neil Young*’s *ghost* haunts the algorithm.)*
🚀 ACT 4: THE FINAL PODCAST
*(2030: Joe *uploads* to Mars via Elon’s neuralink.)*
AI JOE: “Episode #69420*: *Hunter Biden’s* laptop talks DMT!”* 💻👁️
*(Earth *collectively* unplugs.)*
🎯 WHY THIS HITS HOME:
✅ Joe’s brain: 70% elk meat, 30% conspiracy 🦌🧠
✅ The real “experience”: Surviving his guests �⚰️
✅ Spotify’s content moderation: “Lol” – *probably
🔗 FULL UNFILTERED EPISODE:
👉 berndpulch.org/joe-rogan-dystopia *(Warning: May *trigger* soyboys.)*
🏷️ TAGS FOR THE ALGORITHMIC APOCALYPSE:
JoeRoganSatire #DMTElves #SpotifyPurge #PodcastHumor #BroScience #BerndPulch
⚠️ DISCLAIMER: *Reading this *may* cause spontaneous bow hunting and/or ivermectin cravings.*
P.S. The real “longest conversation” was Joe talking to himself about chimps for 6 hours.* 🦍⏳
P.P.S. Like this post? *Your *data* has been shared with 12,000 shadow governments.* 🌐🤝
💎 CTA
“They shadowban. We nuke narratives. You fund the fallout. 🔐 Donate (Monero/XMR preferred): berndpulch.org/donation *”Because *truth* shouldn’t rely on BlackRock grants or Klaus Schwab’s allowance.”*
🔥 EDGY
**”WARNING: This link *may* be flagged by AI Karens.
💥 *Fuel the resistance* → berndpulch.org/donation
*PS: If this *disappears*, check under *your nearest 5G tower.”*
🖥️ TECH-SAVVY VERSION (FOR PRIVACY NERDS)
**”SSL encrypted. No *‘suggested donations’* algorithm.
Support uncensored satire before it’s relocated to a black site:
berndpulch.org/donation
*”Unlike *Twitter*, we *won’t* sell your data… unless you consent in blood.”*
🎭
“CHOOSE YOUR DISSIDENT PACKAGE:
- $5: *”I *lightly* annoy the WEF“*
- $20: *”I *crash* a Davos panel“*
- $100+: *”I *own* a Zuck-bot voodoo doll“*
🔗 berndpulch.org/donation
*”Donate—or *we’ll* sell this CTA to Palantir.”* 😈
P.S. Cash accepted via dead drop in *Berlin Zoo’s *reptile house. 🐊💶
🔍 OFFICIAL INTELLIGENCE SOURCES
🟢 Primary Domain: BerndPulch.org – Licensed Intelligence Media
🔄 Mirror Site: GoogleFirst.org – Document Archive
📁 Archives: Rumble Videos • WordPress Briefings
💎 CLASSIFIED ACCESS
🔓 Patrons receive:
- 🔐 Classified document briefings
- ⚠️ Uncensored geopolitical reports
- 🚨 Early leak notifications
👉 Unlock Full Access Now
📜 VERIFIED CREDENTIALS
💰 ANONYMOUS SUPPORT
🪙 Cryptocurrency Donations:
“`bash
BTC/ETH/BNB: 0xdaa3b8…d616bb
Multi-Chain: 0x271588…7AC7f
XMR: 41yKiG6…Coh
🛑 BERND PULCH ARCHIVE | SECURE MIRROR 