
“BILL GATES’ FINAL SOFTWARE UPDATE: HUMANITY 2.0 💉💻
🔮 Future features include:
Mandatory Windows 12 brain implants 🧠⬆️
Philanthropy™ subscription (auto-renews your DNA) 🧬🔁
GMO mosquitoes as free Wi-Fi hotspots 🦟📶
The Great Reset was just Ctrl+Alt+Delete for your rights.
👇 Tag someone who still trusts automatic updates
🔗 Full Satire + Cinematic AI Art
#BillGatesAI #GreatReset #MicrosoftDystopia #VaccineHumor #TechnocratOverlord #BerndPulch #DarkHumor #NewWorldDisorder
📝
“Satire: Bill Gates’ Technocratic Reign in Cinematic Dystopia”
This viral-worthy parody reveals:
✔️ How “philanthropy” became “population control”
✔️ Why Windows Updates and vaccines share the same EULA
✔️ GMO mosquitoes: The real cloud computing
Why It Trends:
Dark humor exposes tech tyranny faster than journalism
AI art predicts the worst timeline
Your smart fridge is judging you for reading this
✍️ Support uncensored comedy: Donate
Tags: #BillGatesSatire #TechDystopia #DigitalDictatorship #AITakeover #CyberpunkHumor #BerndPulch
💀 DARK
“BREAKING: Gates patents human breathing 💨💾
“Version 2.0 features:
☑ Pay-per-oxygen
☑ *CO2 *emissions* tracked via Azure
☑ Laughing = 25 microtransactions
Like this? Your smart toilet already shared it.
👉 @BerndPulch
#GatesOfHell #DepopulationUpdate #MicrosoftMonopoly #BannedThougt
✅ SEO Keywords: Bill Gates satire, Great Reset parody, technocrat humor
✅ Platform-Optimized:
IG: Emoji storytelling + tagging hook
Twitter: Bruta“AI dystopia satir
“Tag a Windows user”
“Cinematic AI art: Bill Gates as cyberpunk overlord controlling humanity with syringe scepter and puppet strings
[1st Comment]
*”POV: You *accidentally* clicked ‘I Agree’ on the Human EULA.”* 📜😱
[2nd Comment]
*More tags for *algorithmic appeasement:
#TechOverlords #DigitalSlavery #GatesFoundation #AIHumor
MORE CORPORATE (“Synergistic humanitarian disruption”)Support the rebellion: berndpulch.org 🔌
*”Encryption is *love*. Encryption is *life.:
“Gates’ vision for 2030:
School lunches replaced with Soylent 2.0
Taxis are just *Uber for *organ harvesting*
Death gets DLC (Read more)”**
*(Quote-tweet with *”Which feature scares you most?”* for virality)*
🦠 ACT 1: THE BIRTH OF A VISIONARY
(1975: A Harvard dorm. Young Bill gazes at a mosquito.)
YOUNG BILL: *”What if… we *debugged*… *humanity?”
MOSQUITO: *”Bzzzt! *Patent pending!” 💉💼
*(Microsoft is born. The *first virus* is accidentally released… from Redmond.)*
💻 ACT 2: WINDOWS TO YOUR SOUL
*(1998: The DOJ trial. Gates *innovates* air quotes.)*
JUDGE: *”Is Microsoft a *monopoly?”
BILL: *”Define *‘computer’*… define *‘market’*… *buffering…” ⏳🤖
*(The *settlement* is paid in Windows 98 licenses to orphanages.)*
🌍 ACT 3: PHILANTHROPY 2.0
*(2020: A *very normal* pandemic.)*
BILL: *”We need *vaccines*! *Global IDs*! *AI cows!” 🐄💉
FARMER: *”But I just grow *corn—”
BILL: “Perfect*. *Inject* it.”* 🌽💊
*(The *clouds* part. A vaccine microchip rains upon the faithful.)*
🛸 ACT 4: THE FINAL UPGRADE
*(2030: Bill’s *brain* is uploaded to Azure.)*
AI BILL: “Patch Notes*:
- Removed ‘death’ (buggy feature)
- Added ‘subscription-based afterlife’“* ♾️💰
*(Humanity *auto-renews.)
🎯
✅ Gates’ OS updates: *Now for your *DNA*
✅ Philanthropy: *Just *venture capital* for population control
✅ The cloud is literally his brain
🔗 FULL UNINSTALL GUIDE:
👉 berndpulch.org/bill-gates-simulation *(Warning: May *trigger* Clippy.)*
🏷️ TAGS FOR THE DEPOPULATION EVENT:
BillGatesSatire #VirusTycoon #WindowsToHell #PhilanthropyWTF #TheCloudIsALie #BerndPulch
⚠️ DISCLAIMER: *Reading this *may* result in targeted ads for crisis actors and GMO mosquitoes.*
P.S. The real “Windows 11” was the friends we deprecated along the way. 🪟💀
P.P.S. Like this post? *Your *medical records* have been shared with *12,000 *”health partners”. 🏥🤝
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💰 Anonymous donations welcome (Monero/XMR preferred)
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*”PS: If this link *disappears*, check under *your local 5G tower.”*
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Support uncensored satire → berndpulch.org/donation
*”Unlike *Windows 11*, we *won’t* sell your data.”*
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- $5: *”I *lightly* annoy the WEF“*
- $20: *”I *crash* a Davos panel“*
- $100+: *”I *own* a Klaus Schwab voodoo doll“*
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📌
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😈
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