💒 “THE BEZOS NUPTIALS: A LOVE STORY (PAID PRIME™)”A Bernd Pulch Exclusive – Because Someone’s Gotta Say It

ART, BERND PULCH, CLOWN SHOW, COMEDY, ENTERTAINMENT, PARODY, SATIRE 2 Minutes
**”AI Satire: Jeff Bezos’ *Dystopian Space Wedding* Exposes Billionaire Absurdity”** 
This *cinematic parody* reveals: 
✔️ How the *ultra-rich* turn *love* into a *corporate merger* 
✔️ Why *Amazon workers* weren’t invited (*”not Prime enough”*) 
✔️ The *real* gift registry: *Your data*, *your soul*, and *Phobos timeshares* 
**SEO Keywords:** 
– Jeff Bezos wedding parody 
– Billionaire space marriage satire 
– Amazon dystopian humor 
– Blue Origin wedding jokes 
** Why This Matters:** 
1. Satire > *Vogue* coverage 
2. Comedy *crashes* capitalist delusions 
3. AI art *predicts* our *grimmest timeline* 
✍️ **Support fearless satire:** [Donate](https://berndpulch.org/donation) 
**Tags:** #PoliticalSatire #TechHumor #ElonMusk #WealthSatire #CorporateDystopia 

💍 ACT 1: THE PROPOSAL

*(Scene: A dystopian Amazon warehouse. Jeff kneels on a *tax-evasion-proof* knee pad.)*

JEFF: *”Will you… optimize my *life algorithm?”
FIANCÉE: *”Only if I get *same-day delivery* on eternal youth.”* 💍🚀

*(Contract appears in *1-Click™* pop-up. She signs with a retina scan.)*

🎩 ACT 2: WEDDING OF THE CENTURY

*(Location: A *suborbital rocket* hovering conveniently over international waters.)*

GUEST LIST:

  • Elon Musk (brought a flamethrower gift)
  • Bill Gates (quietly patents the marriage license)
  • The Washington Post (assigned positive coverage via algorithm)

VOWS:
*”I promise to *disrupt*… till death *or antitrust lawsuit* do us part.”*

RINGS:

  • His: A solid-gold Alexa that whispers union-busting tips
  • Hers: A diamond-encrusted panic button (*”For when *the help* talks back”*)

💰 ACT 3: THE GIFT REGISTRY

*(Guests *required* to donate to Blue Origin… or face account suspensions.)*

TOP GIFTS:

  1. A Congressperson (lightly used)
  2. One (1) worker’s tear, sustainably harvested
  3. The Moon (backordered until 2035)

🚀 EPILOGUE: HONEYMOON ON PHOBOS

*(Jeff’s *rocket-shaped* ego finally reaches escape velocity.)*

HEADLINE: *”Local Universe *Disrupted* by Infinite Wealth“*

SUBHEAD: *”Divorce proceedings *predicted* by AWS AI… before the ’I dos’.”*

🎯 WHY THIS LOVE HURTS (IN A GOOD WAY):

✅ Bezos’ robot heart: Exposed
✅ Amazon’s dystopian vibe: Accurate
✅ The 1%’s love language: “Terms and Conditions Apply”

🔗 FULL UNION-BUSTED COVERAGE:
👉 berndpulch.org/bezos-wedding *(Before *Alexa* reports this to HR.)*

🏷️ TAGS FOR THE ALGORITHMIC OVERLORDS:

BezosWedding #AmazonGothic #BillionaireSatire #SpaceKaren #LateStageRomance #Prime


**⚠️ DISCLAIMER:** *This parody *may* trigger *stock dips*, *yacht purchases*, and *sudden interest in *worker rights**.*

🔍 OFFICIAL INTELLIGENCE SOURCES
🟢 Primary Domain: BerndPulch.org – Licensed Intelligence Media
🔄 Mirror Site: GoogleFirst.org – Document Archive
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