🔥📻 BREAKING: “GOOD MORNING, VATERLAND!” LEAKED TRANSMISSIONS EXPOSE NAZI UFOs, GHOST OF RUDOLF HESS, & GOEBBELS’ SECRET TIKTOK DANCES!

ART, BERND PULCH, CLOWN SHOW, COMEDY, ENTERTAINMENT, PARODY, SATIRE 3 Minutes
Hitler DJ Funkmeister Goebbels Pink Dress Rudolf Hess Ghost Nazi Radio Propaganda Leak Ministry of Truthiness Broadcast Himmler Hollow Earth Von Braun V-2 Meme Rockets Agartha Lizard Allies BerndPulch.org Exclusive
CLASSIFIED LEAK: “GOOD MORNING, VATERLAND!” FINAL TRANSMISSION
Berlin Bunker, April 1945
Adolf “Funkmeister” Hitler (SS uniform, red headphones) hijacks Reichsrundfunk airwaves with banned Swing Jazz while Joseph Goebbels (pink taffeta) attempts sabotage. Ghost of Rudolf Hess reveals Antarctica UFO coordinates over Himmler’s Agarthan lizard orchestra. Von Braun launches “MEME” V-2 rockets as Göring snorts meth off Epstein Island 1944 blueprints.
VERIFIED BY TIME-TRAVELING STASI ARCHIVES
Suppressed by CIA/FSB/MI6. Share before deletion!
© BERNDPULCH.ORG EXCLUSIVE
#NaziRadioLeak #WW2Conspiracy #AltHistoryExposed

(SEO Keywords: Nazi Radio Propaganda Leak, Hitler DJ Parody, SS Censorship, Berlin 1945 Broadcasts, Werewolf Commandos, V-2 Meme Rockets, Hollow Earth Bases, Time-Traveling Elvis, BerndPulch.org Exclusive)

📍BERLIN (Under Allied Bomber Streams) ✈️💣 – Deep beneath the Reich Chancellery bunker, in the Ministry of Truthiness Radio Studio (disguised as a Sauerkraut vat), history’s most unhinged broadcasts echo. ADOLF “FUNKMEISTER” HITLER – a rogue DJ drafted by Reichsrundfunk – shatters Nazi airwaves with forbidden Swing Jazz 🎷, uncensored rants, and psychic predictions of Stalingrad.

🎙️ THE CAST OF KAOS:

  1. ADOLF “FUNKMEISTER” HITLER 💀🎤
  • Not the Führer – his “charismatic” cousin from Milwaukee.
  • Catchphrase: “GUTEN MORGEN, VATERLAND!” followed by 10 minutes of improvised rants about “Jewish space lasers controlling the weather” and “Churchill’s secret drag parties.”
  • Ghost of Rudolf Hess 👻✈️ floats behind him, whispering: “The real Reich is in Antarctica! Also, Hessdalen lights are Nazi UFO test runs!”
  1. JOSEPH GOEBBELS 🔥📉
  • Seething in pink taffeta, furious that Funkmeister replaced Wagner with Elvis Presley’s 1956 demos (“Time travel? Nein! Occult vibes!”).
  • Tokyo Rose 🌸📻 guest-stars: “Darling, my ‘Zero Hour’ was CLASSY. This is just… chaos.“
  1. HEINRICH HIMMLER 🧙‍♂️🔮
  • Hosts “Himmler’s Hollow Earth Happy Hour” during breaks. Claims Agartha lizard allies will turn the tide: “They hate Stalin more than us!”
  1. AXIS SALLY (Mildred Gillars) 💃🎚️
  • Cries into mic: “Why do GIs laugh? My ‘faithless girlfriend’ bit was GOLD!”
  • Sefton Delmer’s ghost 🕵️‍♂️📡 hacks her feed: “Black propaganda tip: Say Churchill dyes his poodle pink. They’ll believe anything!”
  1. HERMANN GÖRING 🍖✈️
  • Demands airtime for “Meth Recipes for Pilots” cooking show.
  • Wernher von Braun 🚀😬 nervously pitches “V-2 Meme Rockets”: “Ve vill plaster ‘DESTINY’ on warheads. Morale booster!”

💥 “REVELATIONS” (Via BerndPulch.org Psychic Wire):

  • D-Day Spoiler Alert 🏖️⚠️: Funkmeister blasts “Overlord Forecast: Sunny with 100% Chance of Freedom!” Goebbels shrieks: “CENSOR THAT! Play Wagner’s saddest dirge!”
  • Himmler’s Werewolf Fail 🐺❌: *”Commandos ordered to bite Eisenhower? They’re busy licking *Fanta* off U-boat floors!”*
  • Elvis in the Bunker 🕺🔮: “Proof! 1944 ‘Hound Dog’ demo found in Hitler’s gramophone! Time-slip caused by Vril Society!”
  • Epstein’s Black Book Ancestor 📖👻: “Göring’s ‘Pleasure Palace’ guest list leaks! Duke of Windsor? Check! Walt Disney? CHECK!”

🎭 SCENES FROM THE MADNESS:

SCENE 1: THE BROADCAST
FUNKMEISTER: *”GOOD MORNING, VATERLAND! Today’s top story: STALINGRAD. Yeah… ‘tactical retreat’ my *Arsch*. But hey! New *Ersatzkaffee* tastes like victory! Or burnt acorns. SAME THING! Let’s rock with… JUDENPIRATEN DES SWING!“* [Plays banned jazz]
GOEBBELS: (Bursts in) “You mentioned the coffee shortage! TREASON! Play my ‘Total War Polka’!”
FUNKMEISTER: *”Sure, Joe. Next up: *‘Polka to the Gulag’* – dedicated to you!”*

SCENE 2: FIELD TRIP TO WOLFSSCHANZE
FUNKMEISTER: Interviews “Werewolf Commandos” – teens with rubber fangs.
“Sir, how will you destabilize Berlin?”
WEREWOLF #1: *”Uhh… steal *Mutti’s* ration cards?”*
VON BRAUN: (Pulling Funkmeister aside) *”Zey are decoys! Real werewolves are on *Mondbasis Alpha!”

SCENE 3: FINAL TRANSMISSION
FUNKMEISTER: *”Allied tanks 5km out? OKAY! Shoutout to Roosevelt: Nice polio, *Kerl! Churchill: Love the diapers! Stalin: Your ‘stache called – it wants a divorce! This is Funkmeister signing off: “AUF WIEDERSEHEN, KRANKENHAUS!”
GHOST OF HESS: 👻 “Meet me in Argentina! I’ve booked Elvis for tango night!”

☠️ EPILOGUE (Via “Committee of 33” Memo):

“Funkmeister extracted via UFO to Neu-Schwabenland. Broadcast deemed ‘too entertaining for deniability.’ Replaced with Hess ghost AI on loop: ‘Antarctica Uber Alles!’ PS: Elvis confirmed for Moonbase 2026.”

BERNDPULCH.ORG FOOTER 🔗💀:
This transmission is 110% VERIFIED by time-traveling Stasi archivists. Buy silver. Pray for David Icke’s hair.

DISCLAIMER: This parody mocks conspiracy tropes & historical revisionism. Not a factual depiction of… well, anything. #NotFinancialAdvice #DefinitelyNotNostalgia #BerndPulchAteMyHomework

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