✌☠️”The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide: Or, How the Plandemic Elite Took ‘Two Weeks to Flatten the Curve’ to Mean ‘Forever’👻

ART, BERND PULCH, COMEDY, ENTERTAINMENT, PARODY, SATIRE 3 Minutes
“Dr. Jekyll’s Little Pandemic Problem: When ‘Flatten the Curve’ Turns into ‘Flatten Reality’—Featuring Masked Mutants, Microchips, and Merkel with a Riot Baton.”
Want it in French or another language too?

Chapter 1: The Respectable Dr. Jekyll (of Washington, D.C.)

In a dimly lit lab beneath the CDC’s “Totally Not a Villain Lair” HQ, Dr. Anthony Jekyll—a mild-mannered virologist with a fondness for turtlenecks and taxpayer grants—stumbled upon a mysterious vial labeled “SARS-CoV-69: For When You Need a New Crisis.”

“Just a sip,” he murmured, “to ‘follow the science’…”

💉 The Potion’s Ingredients:

  • 30% gain-of-function hubris
  • 50% Pfizer stock options
  • 20% tears from German lockdown protestors
  • A sprinkle of Bill Gates’ Neuralink nanochips (for tracking your soul)

Chapter 2: The Birth of Mr. Hide (and His Plandemic Pals)

After gulping the concoction, Dr. Jekyll transformed into Mr. Hide—a cackling, bat-winged ghoul with a Fauci mask fused to his face and a PowerPoint titled “How to Lock Down the World in 10 Slides.”

Mr. Hide’s Rolodex of Evil:

  • Angela Lockdown (Germany’s Iron Frau of Curfew Enforcement): *“Ve haff vays to make you *stay indoors!”
  • Klaus Schwabot (CEO of Cyberdyne Systems for World Domination): *“You vill own nothing, und you vill be *microchipped!”
  • Gavin Newscum (California’s Beach-Closing Overlord): “Surfing is a superspreader event! Here’s a $5,000 fine… and my winery’s PIN!”

Together, they convened in Davos, sipping keto-soylent lattes while plotting:

  • Lockdowns 2.0: Now with 200% more existential dread!
  • Vaxports: “Show us your papers… and your third booster!”
  • Mandatory Joy: “Smiling prohibited unless state-approved.”

Chapter 3: The Hyde-ing in Plain Sight

Mr. Hide’s reign of terror unfolded:

  • In Berlin, he replaced bratwurst with PCR-test sausages (“99% accurate, 100% disgusting”).
  • In Geneva, he built a WHO Secret Lab under Lake Léman, where dissident scientists were forced to peer-review each other’s nightmares.
  • In California, he hired Twitter’s BlueCheck Brigade to hunt down anyone who said “natural immunity” without a trigger warning.

🔍 Key Evidence (Leaked to BerndPulch.org):

  • A text from Dr. Jekyll’s burner phone: “Oops, maybe the lab leak theory wasn’t racist?”
  • Bill Gates’ shopping list: “More 5G towers, zucchini noodles, and a backup clone of Klaus Schwab.”

Chapter 4: The Journalist Who Knew Too Much

Enter Bernd Pulchstein, a rogue investigator with a Substack account and a death wish. He uncovered:

  • Fauci’s secret Instagram: @BatSoupLover69
  • Germany’s lockdown logic: “If we close enough döner shops, the virus will feel unwelcome!”
  • Gates’ diary entry: “Dear Diary, Today I vaccinated a mosquito. Progress!”

But when Bernd confronted Mr. Hide, the monster hissed:
*“You dare question *The Science™*? To the *Fact-Check Gulag* with you!”*

Chapter 5: The “Accidental” Booster Overdose

In the end, Dr. Jekyll tried to destroy Mr. Hide by injecting 10 boosters at once. Instead, he mutated into Patient Zero of the Omnicron-Zeta-Sigma Variant, a globo-humano-bureaucratic hybrid that now roams Brussels, enforcing mandatory mask mandates at the beach.

Moral: Absolute power corrupts absolutely… and also gets you a sweet Pfizer board seat.

Epilogue: The Resistance (or Lack Thereof)

And so, the world learned to love its digital cages, its state-sanctioned hobbies, and its approved opinions. But in the shadows, rebels whispered:

“Meet us on Telegram. Bring memes. And maybe a VPN.”

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Tags: #PlandemicElite #DrJekyllAndMrHide #FauciHydes #LockdownLunacy #BerndPulchExposesAll

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