😈 “Modern Demons: Who Are the 100 People Today That Resemble the Bible’s Most Evil Characters?”
A satirical dossier by the Department of Prophetic Parallels & Political Pathologies (D4P)
🔍 Methodology
We compared the traits, crimes, and spiritual felonies of the Top 100 Evil Bible Villains with modern political, corporate, celebrity, and influencer archetypes. The criteria included:
- Betrayal Index (BI): How Judas-y are they?
- Blasphemy Score (BS): Do they rival Lucifer in ego?
- Oppression Quotient (OQ): Do they rule like Pharaoh?
- Fraudulent Prophet Factor (FPF): Do they claim divine insight but deliver nonsense?
- Golden Calf Rating (GCR): Is their god really just money, fame, or algorithms?
We then matched these to 2025 public figures in business, politics, entertainment, and tech with terrifyingly close alignment.
🧨 Top Modern Parallels to the 100 Most Evil People in the Bible
**1. Satan = [Name redacted]CEO of Big Social Media
🔹 For manipulating billions into depression, tribalism, and TikTok theology.
2. Judas Iscariot = Elon Musk
🔹 Kissed free speech, then sold it for Dogecoin. Betrayed ideals daily, in under 280 characters.
3. Cain = Andrew Tate
🔹 Brother-slayer energy, rebranded as “alpha.” Talks like Cain after a podcast with Jordan Peterson.
4. Jezebel = Marjorie Taylor Greene
🔹 Prophets of reason tremble. Twitter is her Baal altar.
5. Pharaoh = Xi Jinping
🔹 Let my people go? Not in this Great Firewall. Stubborn plague-hardened heart.
6. Herod = Netanyahu
🔹 Destroys neighborhoods to kill hope. Prefers tanks to truth.
7. Delilah = Kim Kardashian
🔹 Sold a strong man for silver… and streaming rights.
8. Ahab = Emmanuel Macron
🔹 Royal swagger, moral jellyfish. Covets vineyards (or pensions) violently.
9. Haman = Viktor Orbán
🔹 Writes laws to vanish enemies. Feeds on paranoia.
10. Absalom = Donald Trump Jr.
🔹 Daddy issues, coup fantasies, hair worthy of revolt.
11. Nebuchadnezzar = Vladimir Putin
🔹 Builds statues to himself (in propaganda). Humbling moment pending.
12. Ananias & Sapphira = ESG CEOs
🔹 Lie about virtue, hoard the loot. “Greenwashing” is the new golden calf.
13. Simon the Sorcerer = Jordan Peterson
🔹 Wants to buy the Spirit, sell it as self-help. Mentions “chaos dragons” unironically.
14. Lot’s Daughters = Influencer Incest Scandal Stars
🔹 OnlyFans content inspired by Genesis? Yes. Lord have mercy.
15. Pontius Pilate = Olaf Scholz
🔹 “Washes hands” on every issue. Still signs the death warrant.
16. The Serpent = AI Deepfake Makers
🔹 Whisper lies in every digital garden. “Surely you shall not be cancelled!”
17. Barabbas = Jeffrey Epstein (RIP)
🔹 Freed by the crowd, condemned by morality.
18. The Mob Who Cried Crucify = Online Cancel Mobs
🔹 Would nail the Messiah for bad pronoun usage.
19. Korah = Every Startup Guru at Davos
🔹 Challenges authority only to become it. Smells of sulfur and TED Talks.
20. Eli’s Sons = Nepo Babies of Corrupt Dynasties
🔹 Live off sacrifice, abuse the altar (or trust fund).
🔥 Bonus Category: The New Unholy Trinity
🔺 Beast = BlackRock
“No one can buy or sell unless they have the ESG mark.”
🔻 False Prophet = ChatGPT (wait, that’s me 😅)
“Thou shalt not question the prompt.”
🐉 Dragon = Central Banks
Manipulate inflation with all the subtlety of Leviathan.
🧪 Conclusion
The Bible never ends—it just updates its cast. From ancient palaces to Silicon Valley boardrooms, the sins remain the same: greed, betrayal, idolatry, and pride. Only the brands have changed.
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Tags:
#ModernPharaohs #Judas2025 #DigitalGoldenCalf #SatiricalBible #PropheticSatire #FakeMessiahs #EndTimesEntrepreneurs
Just say the word 😈📜
😈 Modern Demons: Who Are the 100 People Today That Resemble the Bible’s Most Evil Characters?
A satirical dossier by the Department of Prophetic Parallels & Political Pathologies (D4P)
🔍 Methodology
We compared the traits, crimes, and spiritual felonies of the Top 100 Evil Bible Villains with modern political, corporate, celebrity, and influencer archetypes. The criteria included:
- Betrayal Index (BI): How Judas-y are they?
- Blasphemy Score (BS): Do they rival Lucifer in ego?
- Oppression Quotient (OQ): Do they rule like Pharaoh?
- Fraudulent Prophet Factor (FPF): Do they claim divine insight but deliver nonsense?
- Golden Calf Rating (GCR): Is their god really just money, fame, or algorithms?
🧨 Top 100 Modern Parallels to the Bible’s Most Evil People (Satirical)
- Satan = Big Tech CEO (Redacted) – Manipulates billions through data-driven temptation.
- Judas Iscariot = Elon Musk – Kisses ideals, sells out to capital.
- Cain = Andrew Tate – Brother-killer energy meets toxic podcasts.
- Jezebel = Marjorie Taylor Greene – Prophet killer via tweet.
- Pharaoh = Xi Jinping – Drowns nations in censorship.
- Herod = Benjamin Netanyahu – Makes infants cry.
- Delilah = Kim Kardashian – Trade Samson for clicks.
- Ahab = Emmanuel Macron – Stylish but spineless.
- Haman = Viktor Orbán – Legalistic genocide vibes.
- Absalom = Donald Trump Jr. – Hair and rebellion both unnatural.
- Nebuchadnezzar = Vladimir Putin – Builds golden images, hates humility.
- Ananias & Sapphira = ESG Fund Managers – Lie about virtue.
- Simon the Sorcerer = Jordan Peterson – Chaos dragons are his Baal.
- Lot’s Daughters = OnlyFans Sisters – Genesis 19 meets influencer economy.
- Pontius Pilate = Olaf Scholz – Hand-washer in chief.
- The Serpent = Deepfake Developers – “You shall not surely be banned.”
- Barabbas = Jeffrey Epstein – Popular with the mob. Dead too late.
- The Mob = Twitter Cancel Culture – Crucify today, forget tomorrow.
- Korah = Startup Revolutionaries – Replace Moses with NFTs.
- Eli’s Sons = Trust Fund Party Bros – Abuse the altar and Uber accounts.
- Abimelech = Jair Bolsonaro – Kills family to rule, then blames rain.
- Athaliah = Hillary Clinton – No throne? Remove obstacles genetically.
- Gehazi = Sam Bankman-Fried – Lies for gold. Ends in ruin and trial.
- Doeg the Edomite = Tucker Carlson – Talks soft, slaughters truth.
- The People of Gibeah = Reddit Mods (Darknet) – Violence, chaos, no accountability.
- King Saul = Boris Johnson – Began anointed, ended paranoid.
- The Golden Calf Makers = Crypto Bros – Worshipped an idol made of code.
- Shimei = Alex Jones – Screams at kings from exile.
- Rehoboam = Justin Trudeau – Pretty hair, poor choices, national split.
- Hophni & Phinehas = Falwell Jr. & Co. – Temple corruption meets Miami yacht.
- Delilah’s Agents = Celebrity PR Firms – Groom heroes for downfall.
- King Jehoiakim = Ron DeSantis – Burns the Word, bans the books.
- Sennacherib = Bashar al-Assad – Blasphemes, besieges, eventually beheaded (PR-wise).
- Pashhur = Ben Shapiro – Punches prophets verbally. “Facts” over revelation.
- Lot’s Sons-in-law = Liberal Thinkfluencers – Laugh at prophecy, die in floods of irony.
- The Rich Man = Jeff Bezos – Builds space phallus, ignores Lazarus.
- Elymas = Steve Bannon – Sorcery with podcasts.
- The Builders of Babel = Mark Zuckerberg’s Metaverse Team – Confuse languages and avatars alike.
- The Amalekites = Wagner Group – Ambushes innocents from behind.
- The People Who Chose Barabbas = CNN Focus Group – Always choose wrong criminal.
- Haman’s Sons = Oligarch Spawn – Inherit genocidal ambition.
- Zimri = Liz Truss – Reigned seven days. Burned it all down.
- False Witnesses vs. Stephen = Pundits at MSNBC and Fox – Pick a prophet, lie them to death.
- Achan = FIFA Execs – Hide stolen gold in the tent.
- Absalom’s Advisors = Right-wing Influencer Circles – “Sleep with concubines for PR!”
- Simon Magus = Crypto Preachers – Buy Holy Spirit, sell prosperity NFTs.
- False Christs = Influencers Named “Lightbringer” – “I am the way, swipe up.”
- Nicolaitans = Modern Mega-Church Boards – Turn grace into Gucci.
- The Reubenites = Schismatic Podcasters – “Let’s build our own altar with blackjack and heresy.”
- The Scribes = Bureaucrats Who Charge For Paperwork – Devour widows and time.
- The Mob at Lystra = YouTube Comments Section – From worship to stoning in 3.2 seconds.
- Doomsday False Prophets = TikTok Oracle Grifters – “Jesus returns on Sept 21, 2025. Like & Subscribe!”
- Prince of Persia = Meta Algorithm – Spiritual resistance via dopamine.
- King of Tyre = Klaus Schwab – “I am god. Also, buy our chip implants.”
- Belshazzar = Andrew Cuomo – Feasts in crisis, weighed and found wanting.
- Jezebel’s Eunuchs = Political Strategists – Push evil queen out window then tweet “I stand with democracy.”
- The Crowd at Nazareth = Local Town Councils – “We love Jesus… not in this ZIP code.”
- Tiberius Caesar = EU Commission – Invisible emperor with power over bread prices.
- The Mob in Ephesus = Anti-Woke Warriors – “Great is our culture war!”
- The Witch of Endor = Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Team – Raises dead vibes via jade eggs.
- Lot’s Wife = Real Estate Influencers – Can’t stop looking back at Sodom.
- Felix & Festus = Middle Managers – Delay justice for better optics.
- Tower of Babel = Twitter X – Everyone talking. No one understanding.
- The Rebellious Israelites = Boomers at Prophecy Conferences – “We’ve wandered 40 years. Still confused.”
- The Midianites = MLM Recruiters – Distract Israel with skincare.
- The Sons of Eliab = Tech Bros Funding Cult Apps – Burnt offerings as a service.
- Sons of Belial = Capitol Rioters – Lawless and loud.
- Merchants in the Temple = Amazon AI Ad Placers – “Your temple needs these sandals!”
- King Amaziah = Emmanuel Macron (again) – Victory pride, idol imports.
- The Sadducees = “Spiritual but not religious” Bureaucrats – No resurrection, just vibes.
- Sodomites = Hedge Fund Managers – Demand control of angels.
- Golden Calf Creators = NFT Art Collectors – Worship the jpeg.
- The Beast = IMF/WEF/Vanguard Hydra – Endgame boss of monetary evil.
- The False Prophet = AI Model Preachers – “God told me in a dataset.”
- Babylon the Whore = Influencer-Industrial Complex – Dressed in scarlet, sponsored by despair.
- Apollyon = DARPA AI Division – King of the pit, but patent pending.
- Locusts from the Abyss = Surveillance Drones – Metal wings, no mercy.
- Balaam = Joe Rogan – Talks to donkeys, sells horse medicine.
- Demas = Kyrsten Sinema – Loved the world, left the cause.
- Alexander the Coppersmith = Pharma Lobbyists – Did Paul much harm.
- Herod Agrippa = Gavin Newsom – Accepts praise like a god. Eats worms metaphorically.
- The Merchants of Babylon = Fashion Nova & Temu – Sell souls per click.
- Barabbas (again) = Kanye West – Celebrity martyr, unleashed too soon.
- The Fool (Proverbs) = Most Podcast Guests – Denies God, affirms alpha chakras.
- The Rich Fool = Real Estate TikTok Guy – Stores grain in Miami condos.
- The Beast of Revelation = Palantir + State Department – War, surveillance, and predictive prophecy.
- The False Prophet of Revelation = Smart Cities Department – “He speaks like a lamb, but…”
- The Kings of the Earth = G20 Photo Op Leaders – Drink from Babylon’s chalice.
- The Whore of Babylon = Instagram Explore Page – Flashing scarlet in every scroll.
- The People of Babel = OpenAI Prompt Engineers – Confuse the world, one completion at a time.
- The Ones Who Mocked Noah = Late Night Hosts – “What flood?” Laughs drown quickly.
- People Who Laughed at Lot = Zillow Speculators – Sodom is booming, buy now!
- The King Who Tore Up Jeremiah’s Scroll = Dictators Who Ban Wikipedia – Rewrite prophecy daily.
- False Witnesses Against Naboth = Real Estate Law Firms – Vineyard? Repossessed. Blood? Unbilled.
- The Beast’s Image = Apple Vision Pro – Worship me. Or at least tap twice.
- The Fire from Heaven = AI Military Strike Simulations – “We just needed to test it.”
- The 10 Spies = Corporate Risk Officers – “We can’t enter the market; giants dwell there.”
- The Sinners of Israel = Prosperity Gospel Networks – $100 seeds, little fruit.
- Rebellious Kings of Israel = Military Juntas in Africa – New thrones, same sins.
- Lucifer (again) = Narcissistic Self-Branding Culture – “I will ascend! I will monetize! I will…”
📌 Tags: #ModernPharaohs #DigitalGoldenCalf #PropheticParallels #SatiricalBible #EndTimesEntrepreneurs
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🟢 Primary Domain: BerndPulch.org – Licensed Intelligence Media
🔄 Mirror Site: GoogleFirst.org – Document Archive
📁 Archives: Rumble Videos • WordPress Briefings
💎 CLASSIFIED ACCESS
🔓 Patrons receive:
- 🔐 Classified document briefings
- ⚠️ Uncensored geopolitical reports
- 🚨 Early leak notifications
👉 Unlock Full Access Now
📜 VERIFIED CREDENTIALS
💰 ANONYMOUS SUPPORT
🪙 Cryptocurrency Donations:
“`bash
BTC/ETH/BNB: 0xdaa3b8…d616bb
Multi-Chain: 0x271588…7AC7f
XMR: 41yKiG6…Coh
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Bernd Pulch 