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💘🧟‍♂️🏰 FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER MASH: When Dr. Edna Falls For The Original Patchwork Prince 🏰🧟‍♂️💘

BY CURT JAY VONNEGOOD

A horror-romance-comedy in 128K, Dolby Sparks, and the scent of ozone, old books, and broken hearts.

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💞 CAST: The Monster Love Triangle

💃 Dr. Edna “Bride of Science”Therapist in love”He’s got the perfect blend of emotional depth and reanimation potential!”🧟‍♂️ Frankenstein’s Monster “Frank”Gene Wilder-inspired romantic”She sees the man, not the monster! And she’s great with bolts!”🧛‍♂️ Vlad “Jealous Ex” DraculaScorned dark prince”I offered her eternity! He offers… spare parts!”🧠 Dr. Frederick FrankensteinProud creator”That’s my monster! Seductive devil!”🏦 Lex “Matchmaker” LorchRunning monster dating app”Their compatibility is shocking! Literally!”🕺 Thomas “Romance Blogger” PortenLive-updating the drama”EXCLUSIVE: Monster Couple More Stable Than European Markets!”⚖️ Lady “Love Judge” PortenApproving monster marriage”Their prenup is electrifying!”🛡️ Ghost Templar TherapistsCouples counseling”We’ve seen crusades less complicated than this love triangle!”🪩 Monika “Depressed Glitter” MuchaPost-Halloween blues”The champagne has lost its sparkle! The world has lost its meaning!”🐆 Monique “Moping Leopard” K7chaSeasonal affective disorder”My spots have faded! My purr has weakened!”🕵️ Jan “Broken Spy” MuchaLost surveillance purpose”Who do I monitor when the monsters are in love?”🧟 David “Romance Historian” IrvingRewriting love stories”Frankenstein was actually a great romantic! Read my book!”👶 Stasi Sad BabiesNo more parties to monitor”The silence is deafening! The normalcy is terrifying!”🪳 Renfield “Love Bug”Romantic insect advisor”The flies say their love will last multiple lifetimes!”🎬 NEW: Igor the MatchmakerHunchbacked cupid”What hump? And what a beautiful couple!”

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💕 Scene 1 – The Laboratory of Love

Location: Frankenstein’s castle, sparks flying literally and metaphorically

💃 Dr. Edna adjusts Frank’s bolts:
“Your emotional availability is… electrifying, darling!”

🧟‍♂️ Frank offers a reanimated flower:
“It’s alive! Like my heart when I’m with you!”

🎬 Igor watches proudly:
“Walk this way! No, not like that – the other way!”

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😠 Scene 2 – The Count’s Jealous Rage

Location: Dracula’s throne room, now filled with torn romance novels

🧛‍♂️ Vlad Dracula smashes a mirror:
“She chose a collection of spare parts over centuries of aristocratic breeding!”

🧠 Dr. Frankenstein defends his creation:
“He’s got an MBA from Harvard! And excellent stitching!”

🏦 Lex Lorch presents compatibility charts:
“Their shared trauma bonding scores are off the charts!”

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😔 Scene 3 – Post-Halloween Depression

Location: Transylvanian support group for seasonal monsters

🪩 Monika Mucha sobs into flat champagne:
“The glitter has lost its meaning! The world is… ordinary!”

🐆 Monique K7cha mourns her faded spots:
“I used to be dangerous! Now I’m just… patterned!”

🕵️ Jan Mucha stares at blank monitors:
“No conspiracies! No secrets! Just… people being happy! It’s horrifying!”

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💒 Scene 4 – The Monster Wedding Planning

Location: Laboratory turned wedding venue

⚖️ Lady Justice officiates preparations:
“Do you, collection of reanimated parts, take this therapist…”

🛡️ Ghost Templar Therapists lead pre-marital counseling:
“Communication is key! Especially when one of you needs periodic recharging!”

🕺 Thomas Porten live-blogs the preparations:
“EXCLUSIVE: Monster Wedding More Stable Than Government Coalition!”

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⚡ Scene 5 – The Romantic Climax

Location: Laboratory during thunderstorm (naturally)

💃 Dr. Edna declares her love:
“You’re not a monster – you’re a masterpiece of emotional availability!”

🧟‍♂️ Frank proposes with reanimated ring:
“It’s alive! Like our future together!”

🧛‍♂️ Dracula crashes through window:
“I’ll turn this wedding into a funeral! Mostly his!”

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🏁 Final Shot – Love Conquers All

Dr. Edna and Frank dancing in laboratory while Dracula sobs in corner, ghost templars throw rice instead of weapons, CDU politicians spray depressed glitter, and Igor adjusts the mood lighting.
New Romantic Motto:
“Our love is like lightning – unpredictable, powerful, and occasionally needs grounding!”

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💞 ROMANTIC UPGRADES

• Featured Image: Dr. Edna and Frankenstein’s monster dancing in laboratory during thunderstorm
• Gallery: 32 romantic horror stills – “Mel Brooks Love Story Edition”
• Soundtrack: Romantic melodies mixed with lightning cracks and champagne sobs

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📣 SHARE & BELIEVE IN LOVE

If love is eternal, check our monster dating app:
berndpulch.org/frankenstein-love
archive.today/monster-romance
t.me/loveleaks

Remember: True love isn’t about finding a perfect person, but about finding someone whose imperfections match your own.

🚨 SATIRE-ALARM 🚨
This is 1000% fiction, 1100% romantic comedy, and 1200% why-can’t-monsters-find-love-too. Any resemblance to actual monster relationships, jealous vampires, or post-holiday depression is completely intentional and probably therapeutic.

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💞 NEW ROMANTIC TAGS

frankenstein-romance, monster-love-story, dr-edna-romance, frankenstein-wedding, jealous-dracula, post-halloween-depression, monster-dating, horror-romance-comedy, mel-brooks-homage, gene-wilder-tribute, laboratory-love, patchwork-romance, seasonal-monster-blues, transylvanian-romance, monster-therapy-love

👉 NEXT IN THE CINEMATIC UNIVERSE: “The Werewolf Baby Shower: When Lunar Cycles Meet Parenting Classes”

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🙏 Your support keeps this love story alive.

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»LOVE ISN’T ABOUT FINDING SOMEONE PERFECT – IT’S ABOUT FINDING SOMEONE WHOSE BOLTS MATCH YOUR OWN.«— Dr. Edna, adjusting her future husband’s emotional wiring

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