ABOVE TOP SHEEPLE // EU-CLASSIFIED //๐Ÿง BLEAT-NOFORNLeaked Internal Memo โ€“ Directorate-General for Narrative Compliance & Wool-Pulling (DG-NCWP)Strasbourg,๐Ÿคก 24-JUL-2025, 06:66 AM (because 06:00 was too cis-temporal)โœŒ

Caption (EN / DE / ES / FR / PT)
EN: ยซEU-Stasi cabaret: one hologram, five merged narratives, zero free will. Support the satire โ†’ patreon.com/berndpulch or drop XMR.ยป
DE: ยซEU-Stasi-Kabarett: ein Hologramm, fรผnf fusionierte Narrative, null freier Wille. Unterstรผtzt die Satire โ†’ patreon.com/berndpulch oder XMR.ยป
ES: ยซCabaret UE-Stasi: un holograma, cinco narrativas fusionadas, cero libre albedrรญo. Apoya la sรกtira โ†’ patreon.com/berndpulch o XMR.ยป
FR: ยซCabaret UE-Stasi : un hologramme, cinq rรฉcits fusionnรฉs, zรฉro libre arbitre. Soutenez la satire โ†’ patreon.com/berndpulch ou XMR.ยป
PT: ยซCabarรฉ UE-Stasi: um holograma, cinco narrativas fundidas, zero livre-arbรญtrio. Apoie a sรกtira โ†’ patreon.com/berndpulch ou XMR.

๐Ÿ‘ SUBJECT: Operation โ€œEUnuch Harmonyโ€ โ€“ 5-Narrative Fusion Protocol ๐Ÿ‘

CLASSIFICATION:
If you can read this, youโ€™re already flagged for re-education in the EU-Stasi Cloud Penโ„ข (patent pending under Green Deal Sub-Clause 666).


๐ŸŽญ EXECUTIVE PARODY-SUMMARY

The DG-NCWP has successfully merged War, Climate, COVID, Trans, Migrants into one รผber-narrativeโ„ข to save on propaganda toner. Citizens will now receive one push notification instead of five, reducing thumb fatigue by 23 % (per Gretaโ€™s abacus).


๐Ÿ” NARRATIVE SYNTHESIS MATRIX

NarrativeOfficial SloganSheeple TranslationMandatory EmojiWar โ€œPeace is too loud.โ€ Bombs = renewable energy (heat waves). ๐Ÿ’ฃโ†’๐ŸŒฑ Climate โ€œYour exhale is genocide.โ€ Hold breath or pay โ‚ฌ2/min COโ‚‚ tax. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ’ธ COVID โ€œThe 19th booster is loyalty.โ€ QR code tattoo glows when you think wrong. ๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ” Trans โ€œBiology is a colonial construct.โ€ EU-mandated pronoun wheel spins every sunrise. ๐Ÿ”„๐Ÿ‘/๐Ÿ‘ร—e Migrants โ€œBorders are hate speech.โ€ Your flat now hosts 12 undocumented influencers. ๐Ÿ โœˆ๏ธ๐Ÿคณ


๐Ÿ‘ SHEEPLE COMPLIANCE MODULE

Phase 1 โ€“ Narrative Compression

  • All EU citizens to download WoolAppโ„ข (mandatory, 666 MB).
  • Single checkbox:
    โ˜‘๏ธ โ€œI consent to War, Climate, COVID, Trans, Migrants being explained to me by a hologram of Ursula von der Leyen wearing a rainbow flak jacket.โ€

Phase 2 โ€“ Climate-War Fusion

  • Every missile strike = plants 1 tree (via Shellโ„ข offsets).
  • Tanks now run on recycled pronoun leaflets.

Phase 3 โ€“ COVID-Trans-Migrant Triple-Helix

  • Booster passports double as trans-rights visas and airbnb keys.
  • Migrants who refuse the 9th booster are sent to glamping gulags in Luxembourg (Wi-Fi included).

๐Ÿ›๏ธ DG-NCWP INTERNAL CHAT LEAK (translated from Bureaucrratese)

@VonDerLeyen_Bot:
โ€œReminder: Calling the war a โ€˜warโ€™ is hate speech. Use โ€˜Special Climate Operation.โ€™โ€

@Greta_Thunborg:
โ€œStop breathing, bigots. COโ‚‚ is violence.โ€

@Emmanuelle_Micron:
โ€œMacron is outdated. I now identify as โ€˜Europeโ€™ and require 20 % of your salary in crypto-glitter.โ€


๐Ÿšจ SHEEPLE REACTION PROTOCOL

Emotion Approved Response Dissent Response Confused Double-boost & double-pronoun. Gulag yoga retreat. Angry Climate anxiety workshop with artisanal tear gas. Twitter ratio by EU-funded bot @RealHuman_12345. Curious 404 โ€“ Curiosity not found. Curiosity redirected to EU-Memory-Holeโ„ข (hosted by Microsoft Azure).


๐Ÿ CALL TO ACTION (MANDATORY)

Like, share, and pay reparations via:
๐Ÿ”— patreon.com/berndpulch (yes, even Monero is now carbon-neutral)
๐Ÿช™ XMR: 46xyzโ€ฆbleatโ€ฆwoolcoin

Remember: If you feel free, the vaccine is working. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’‰โœจ

END TRANSMISSION โ€“ DG-NCWP out.

๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ‘ ABOVE TOP SHEEPLE // EU-CLASSIFIED // BLEAT-NOFORN ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ‘
๐Ÿ“… 24 JUL 2025 โ€“ 06:66 AM (solar-powered, gender-neutral time-zone)


๐ŸŽฏ EU-Stasi รœber-Memo: Operation โ€œEUnuch Harmony 2.0โ€

๐Ÿงฉ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’‰๐ŸŒˆโœˆ๏ธ One Ring to Rule All Narratives!


๐Ÿ“Š Narrative Fusion Emoji-Cubeโ„ข

War ๐Ÿ’ฃ Climate ๐ŸŒ COVID ๐Ÿ˜ท Trans ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ Migrants โœˆ๏ธ ๐Ÿช–๐Ÿ’ฅ๐ŸŒฑ ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿ’ธ๐ŸŒณ ๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ”„๐Ÿงฌ ๐Ÿ‘โ†”๏ธ๐Ÿฆ„ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿคณ๐Ÿ›‚


๐Ÿง  Sheeple Compliance Script (Mandatory Recital)

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ โ€œI ๐Ÿซถ EU-Stasi, surrender my ๐Ÿง , and pledge to emit only ๐Ÿ‘-approved COโ‚‚.โ€


๐Ÿ›๏ธ Leaked DG-NCWP Slack

  • @VonDerLeyenBot ๐Ÿค–: โ€œWar is now a ๐ŸŒฑ-security exercise.โ€
  • @Greta_Thunborg ๐Ÿฅต: โ€œExhale = hate crime.โ€
  • @Emmanuelle_Micron ๐Ÿฅ–: โ€œPay me 20 % in ๐Ÿช™-glitter or gulag-glamping.โ€

๐Ÿšจ Sheeple Emotion Flowchart

๐Ÿ˜• โ†’ ๐Ÿ’‰
๐Ÿ˜ก โ†’ ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™‚๏ธ+๐Ÿ’จ
๐Ÿค” โ†’ 404 ๐Ÿ•ณ๏ธ


๐Ÿ’ธ CTA โ€“ Fund the Satire Resistance!

๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡
๐Ÿ”— Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch ๐ŸŽค๐Ÿป
๐Ÿช™ Monero Tip-Jar:
46xyzโ€ฆbleatโ€ฆprivacygoesbrrr ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ‘

Support = more ๐Ÿ‘-safe snark. Every XMR plants a ๐ŸŒณ (in Minecraft).

๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ‘ รœBER-OBEN TOP-SCHAF // EU-GEHEIM // BLEAT-NOFORN ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ‘
๐Ÿ“… 24. JUL 2025 โ€“ 06:66 Uhr (sonnenbetriebene, geschlechtsneutrale Zeitzone)


๐ŸŽฏ EU-Stasi-รœber-Memo: Operation โ€žEUnuch Harmony 2.0โ€œ

๐Ÿงฉ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’‰๐ŸŒˆโœˆ๏ธ Ein Ring, um alle Narrative zu regieren!


๐Ÿ“Š Narrativ-Fusions-Emoji-Wรผrfelโ„ข

Krieg ๐Ÿ’ฃ Klima ๐ŸŒ COVID ๐Ÿ˜ท Trans ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ Migration โœˆ๏ธ ๐Ÿช–๐Ÿ’ฅ๐ŸŒฑ ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿ’ธ๐ŸŒณ ๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ”„๐Ÿงฌ ๐Ÿ‘โ†”๏ธ๐Ÿฆ„ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿคณ๐Ÿ›‚


๐Ÿง  Schafels-Konformitรคts-Skript (Pflicht-Rezitation)

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ โ€žIch ๐Ÿซถ EU-Stasi, รผbergebe mein ๐Ÿง  und gelobe, nur ๐Ÿ‘-geprรผftes COโ‚‚ auszuatmen.โ€œ


๐Ÿ›๏ธ Geleakte DG-NCWP-Slack-Kanรคle

  • @VonDerLeyenBot ๐Ÿค–: โ€žKrieg ist jetzt eine ๐ŸŒฑ-Sicherheitsรผbung.โ€œ
  • @Greta_Thunborg ๐Ÿฅต: โ€žAusatmen = Hassverbrechen.โ€œ
  • @Emmanuelle_Micron ๐Ÿฅ–: โ€žZahlt mir 20 % in ๐Ÿช™-Glitter oder Gulag-Glamping.โ€œ

๐Ÿšจ Schafels-Gefรผhls-Flussdiagramm

๐Ÿ˜• โ†’ ๐Ÿ’‰
๐Ÿ˜ก โ†’ ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™‚๏ธ+๐Ÿ’จ
๐Ÿค” โ†’ 404 ๐Ÿ•ณ๏ธ


๐Ÿ’ธ CTA โ€“ Unterstรผtzt den Satire-Widerstand!

๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡
๐Ÿ”— Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch ๐ŸŽค๐Ÿป
๐Ÿช™ Monero-Trinkgeld-Eimer:
46xyzโ€ฆbleatโ€ฆprivatsphรคregoesbrrr ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ‘

Jede Unterstรผtzung = mehr ๐Ÿ‘-sicheren Spott. Jede XMR pflanzt eine ๐ŸŒณ (in Minecraft).

๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ‘ ยกENCIMATOP SECRETO // EU-CLASIFICADO // BLEAT-NOFORN! ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ‘
๐Ÿ“… 24 JUL 2025 โ€“ 06:66 hora solar neutra-gรฉnero


๐ŸŽฏ Memorรกndum Uber-Stasi UE: Operaciรณn โ€œEUnuco Harmony 2.0โ€

๐Ÿงฉ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’‰๐ŸŒˆโœˆ๏ธ ยกUn solo Anillo para gobernarlos a todos!


๐Ÿ“Š Cubo-Emojiโ„ข de Fusiรณn Narrativa

Guerra ๐Ÿ’ฃ Clima ๐ŸŒ COVID ๐Ÿ˜ท Trans ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ Migrantes โœˆ๏ธ ๐Ÿช–๐Ÿ’ฅ๐ŸŒฑ ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿ’ธ๐ŸŒณ ๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ”„๐Ÿงฌ ๐Ÿ‘โ†”๏ธ๐Ÿฆ„ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿคณ๐Ÿ›‚


๐Ÿง  Guion de Cumplimiento Ovejuno (Recitaciรณn obligatoria)

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ ยซAmo ๐Ÿซถ la Stasi-UE, entrego mi ๐Ÿง  y prometo exhalar solo COโ‚‚ ๐Ÿ‘-aprobadoยป.


๐Ÿ›๏ธ Filtraciรณn del Slack DG-NCWP

  • @VonDerLeyenBot ๐Ÿค–: ยซLa guerra ahora es un ejercicio ๐ŸŒฑ-seguridadยป.
  • @Greta_Thunborg ๐Ÿฅต: ยซExhalar = crimen de odioยป.
  • @Emmanuelle_Micron ๐Ÿฅ–: ยซPรกgame el 20 % en ๐Ÿช™-glitter o glamping-gulagยป.

๐Ÿšจ Diagrama de Flujo Emocional Ovejuno

๐Ÿ˜• โ†’ ๐Ÿ’‰
๐Ÿ˜ก โ†’ ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™‚๏ธ+๐Ÿ’จ
๐Ÿค” โ†’ 404 ๐Ÿ•ณ๏ธ


๐Ÿ’ธ ยกCTA โ€“ Apoya la Resistencia Satรญrica!

๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡
๐Ÿ”— Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch ๐ŸŽค๐Ÿป
๐Ÿช™ Jarra de Propinas Monero:
46xyzโ€ฆbleatโ€ฆprivacidadyaya ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ‘

Cada apoyo = mรกs sรกtira ๐Ÿ‘-segura. Cada XMR planta un ๐ŸŒณ (en Minecraft).

๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ‘ AU-DESSUS DU TOP SECRET // EU CLASSIFIร‰ // BLEAT-NOFORN ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ‘
๐Ÿ“… 24 JUIL 2025 โ€“ 06:66 heure solaire neutre-genre


๐ŸŽฏ Mรฉmorandum Uber-Stasi UE : Opรฉration ยซ EUnuch Harmony 2.0 ยป

๐Ÿงฉ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’‰๐ŸŒˆโœˆ๏ธ Un seul anneau pour les gouverner toutes !


๐Ÿ“Š Cube-Emojiโ„ข de Fusion Narrative

Guerre ๐Ÿ’ฃ Climat ๐ŸŒ COVID ๐Ÿ˜ท Trans ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ Migrants โœˆ๏ธ ๐Ÿช–๐Ÿ’ฅ๐ŸŒฑ ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿ’ธ๐ŸŒณ ๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ”„๐Ÿงฌ ๐Ÿ‘โ†”๏ธ๐Ÿฆ„ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿคณ๐Ÿ›‚


๐Ÿง  Script de Conformitรฉ Mouton (Rรฉcitation obligatoire)

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ ยซ Jโ€™๐Ÿซถ la Stasi-UE, je livre mon ๐Ÿง  et je promets dโ€™expirer uniquement du COโ‚‚ ๐Ÿ‘-approuvรฉ. ยป


๐Ÿ›๏ธ Fuite du Slack DG-NCWP

  • @VonDerLeyenBot ๐Ÿค– : ยซ La guerre est dรฉsormais un exercice ๐ŸŒฑ-sรฉcuritรฉ. ยป
  • @Greta_Thunborg ๐Ÿฅต : ยซ Expirer = crime de haine. ยป
  • @Emmanuelle_Micron ๐Ÿฅ– : ยซ Payez-moi 20 % en ๐Ÿช™-paillettes ou glamping-goulag. ยป

๐Ÿšจ Diagramme de Flux ร‰motionnel Mouton

๐Ÿ˜• โ†’ ๐Ÿ’‰
๐Ÿ˜ก โ†’ ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™‚๏ธ+๐Ÿ’จ
๐Ÿค” โ†’ 404 ๐Ÿ•ณ๏ธ


๐Ÿ’ธ CTA โ€“ Soutenez la Rรฉsistance Satyrique !

๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡
๐Ÿ”— Patreon : patreon.com/berndpulch ๐ŸŽค๐Ÿป
๐Ÿช™ Jarre de Pourboires Monero :
46xyzโ€ฆbleatโ€ฆvieprivรฉevabrr ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ‘

Chaque soutien = plus de satire ๐Ÿ‘-sรปre. Chaque XMR plante un ๐ŸŒณ (dans Minecraft).

๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ‘ ACIMA DO ULTRA-SECRETO // EU CLASSIFICADO // BLEAT-NOFORN ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ‘
๐Ÿ“… 24 JUL 2025 โ€“ 06:66 hora solar neutra-gรชnero


๐ŸŽฏ Memorando Ultra-Stasi UE: Operaรงรฃo โ€œEUnuco Harmony 2.0โ€

๐Ÿงฉ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’‰๐ŸŒˆโœˆ๏ธ Um รบnico anel para governรก-los a todos!


๐Ÿ“Š Cubo-Emojiโ„ข de Fusรฃo Narrativa

Guerra ๐Ÿ’ฃ Clima ๐ŸŒ COVID ๐Ÿ˜ท Trans ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ Migrantes โœˆ๏ธ ๐Ÿช–๐Ÿ’ฅ๐ŸŒฑ ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿ’ธ๐ŸŒณ ๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ”„๐Ÿงฌ ๐Ÿ‘โ†”๏ธ๐Ÿฆ„ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿคณ๐Ÿ›‚


๐Ÿง  Script de Conformidade Ovelha (Recitaรงรฃo obrigatรณria)

๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ ยซ โค๏ธ a Stasi-UE, entrego meu ๐Ÿง  e prometo expirar apenas COโ‚‚ ๐Ÿ‘-aprovado. ยป


๐Ÿ›๏ธ Vazamento do Slack DG-NCWP

  • @VonDerLeyenBot ๐Ÿค–: ยซ A guerra agora รฉ um exercรญcio ๐ŸŒฑ-seguranรงa. ยป
  • @Greta_Thunborg ๐Ÿฅต: ยซ Expirar = crime de รณdio. ยป
  • @Emmanuelle_Micron ๐Ÿฅ–: ยซ Pague-me 20 % em ๐Ÿช™-glitter ou glamping-gulag. ยป

๐Ÿšจ Diagrama de Fluxo Emocional Ovelha

๐Ÿ˜• โ†’ ๐Ÿ’‰
๐Ÿ˜ก โ†’ ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™‚๏ธ+๐Ÿ’จ
๐Ÿค” โ†’ 404 ๐Ÿ•ณ๏ธ


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๐ŸŽญ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช โ€œThe Ministry for State Amusement 2.0 โ€“ Emoji รœberwachen Edition!โ€ ๐ŸŽญ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿšจ๐ŸŽช Starring:๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ—‚๏ธ Angela โ€œMutti-Mutti-Muttiโ€ M.๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿผโ€โš–๏ธ๐Ÿค– Frank-Walter โ€œEyebrow.exeโ€ S.๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ”„ Gregor โ€œDialectic-Discoโ€ G.โ›ช๏ธโœˆ๏ธ Manfred โ€œPastor-Frequent-Flyerโ€ S.๐Ÿงพ๐Ÿคซ Olaf โ€œReceipt-Shredderโ€ S.๐ŸงDEUTSCHE BROILER VERSION GRATIS๐Ÿ˜Ž

English Caption:
โ€œSmile, file, repeatโ€”welcome to the Ministry for State Amusement 2.0. Support the satire: patreon.com/berndpulch or drop XMR at the emoji tip-jar.โ€
German Caption:
โ€žLรคcheln, abheften, wiederholen โ€“ willkommen im Ministerium fรผr Staatsunterhaltung 2.0. Unterstรผtze die Satire: patreon.com/berndpulch oder wirf XMR in den Emoji-Trinkgeld-Behรคlter.โ€œ

๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ“‚ Scene: Rehearsal Bunker, Beige Files to the Moon ๐ŸŒš๐Ÿ“
๐Ÿ”ด๐Ÿ’ก Red bulb: โ€œDemocracy โ€“ Knock First!โ€

๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ—‚๏ธ: โ€œComrades, upgrade complete! โ˜๏ธ๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ Stasi 2.0 runs on green electricity + black humor.โ€
๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿผโ€โš–๏ธ๐Ÿค– (raising both brows): โ€œLeft brow = Willy, right brow = Konrad, middle brow = undefined.โ€
๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ”„: โ€œJust do a triple axel and call it principled flexibility!โ€
โ›ช๏ธโœˆ๏ธ: โ€œPastoral visits โ†’ โ€˜fact-finding missionsโ€™ โ†’ bonus miles โ†’ paradise lost & found.โ€
๐Ÿงพ๐Ÿคซ: โ€œShredder jammed on coalition papers. I whispered Ampel-Koalition and it sighed itself to sleep.โ€

๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ—บ๏ธ (points to whiteboard)
๐Ÿ†• New Acronym: FA SO โ€“ Federal Agency for Societal Optimization & Friendly Data Hugs ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ“Š
Motto: โ€œWe read your DMs so you can Netflix & chill ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ’คโ€

ALL: โ€œSmile ๐Ÿ˜Š, file ๐Ÿ“‚, repeat ๐Ÿ”!โ€


๐ŸŽŸ๏ธ Curtain falls ๐ŸŽŸ๏ธ
Attendant stamps your forehead:
โœ… Tiny QR code = totally optional tracking.


๐Ÿ’ธ Support the Cabaret of Surveillance Satire!
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๐Ÿ‘‰ Monero (XMR) tip jar for the truly off-grid laughs:
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๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€ Remember: Big Sister is watchingโ€”and sheโ€™s crowd-funded.

๐ŸŽญ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช โ€žMinisterium fรผr Staatsunterhaltung 2.0 โ€“ Emoji-รœberwachen-Spezial!โ€œ ๐ŸŽญ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช
๐Ÿšจ๐ŸŽช Mitwirkende:
๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ—‚๏ธ Angela โ€žMutti-Mutti-Muttiโ€œ M.
๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿผโ€โš–๏ธ๐Ÿค– Frank-Walter โ€žAugenbrauen.exeโ€œ S.
๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ”„ Gregor โ€žDialektik-Discoโ€œ G.
โ›ช๏ธโœˆ๏ธ Manfred โ€žPfarrer-Meilensammlerโ€œ S.
๐Ÿงพ๐Ÿคซ Olaf โ€žBeleg-Schredderโ€œ S.


๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ“‚ Szene: Proberaum, Stapel beige Akten bis zum Mond ๐ŸŒš๐Ÿ“
๐Ÿ”ด๐Ÿ’ก Rote Glรผhbirne: โ€žDemokratie โ€“ bitte klopfen!โ€œ

๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ—‚๏ธ: โ€žGenossen, Upgrade abgeschlossen! โ˜๏ธ๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ Stasi 2.0 lรคuft jetzt auf grรผnem Strom plus schwarzem Humor.โ€œ
๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿผโ€โš–๏ธ๐Ÿค– (beide Brauen hoch): โ€žLinke Braue = Willy, rechte Braue = Konrad, mittlere Braue = undefiniert.โ€œ
๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ”„: โ€žMach einfach einen Dreifach-Axel und nennโ€™s prinzipienlose Flexibilitรคt!โ€œ
โ›ช๏ธโœˆ๏ธ: โ€žSeelsorge-Reisen โ†’ โ€šFakt-Finding-Missionenโ€˜ โ†’ Bonusmeilen โ†’ Paradies verloren & wiedergefunden.โ€œ
๐Ÿงพ๐Ÿคซ: โ€žAktenvernichter hat sich bei Koalitionspapieren verklemmt. Ich flรผsterte Ampel-Koalition und er ist vor Erschรถpfung eingeschlafen.โ€œ

๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ—บ๏ธ (zeigt auf Whiteboard)
๐Ÿ†• Neues Kรผrzel: BรœFA โ€“ Bundes-Unterhaltungs-Feinst-Agentur fรผr sanfte Datenknuddel ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ“Š
Motto: โ€žWir lesen deine DMs, damit du Netflix & Chill kannst ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ’คโ€œ

ALLE: โ€žLรคcheln ๐Ÿ˜Š, abheften ๐Ÿ“‚, wiederholen ๐Ÿ”!โ€œ


๐ŸŽŸ๏ธ Vorhang fรคllt ๐ŸŽŸ๏ธ
Ordner stempelt dir die Stirn:
โœ… Winziger QR-Code = vรถllig freiwillige Verfolgung.


๐Ÿ’ธ Unterstรผtze das Kabarett der รœberwachungssatire!
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๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€ Merke: Big Sister schaut zu โ€“ und sie ist crowdgefundet.

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