๐ŸŽช Ehlers’ Enema Enigma: Part X โ€“ “The Jade Dragonโ€™s Curse”A Sam Bronkowiz Production, Written by Kilgulch TroutPowered by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT๐Ÿ‰๐Ÿ–๐ŸŽ‹๐Ÿ”ฅ

“๏‰๏’ฅ **LONG NUโ€™S JADE TYRANNY!** Edithโ€™s dragon form curses Andreas into a debt-pig as Klausiโ€™s sewage floods the palace. Can Ehlersโ€™ talismans and Janelleโ€™s split personas save Venusโ€”or will the Psycho-Prismatic Quake erase all color? ๏Œช๏ธ๏Žจย 
#JadeDragonsCurse #AndreasThePig #BerndPulchChaosย 
๏”ฅ **Fund the rebellion:** [berndpulch.org/donation](https://berndpulch.org/donation)”ย 
—ย 
**โšก Generate and tag @berndpulchorg. The revolution needs your pixels!**

Prologue: The Dragonโ€™s Descent

The Psycho-Prismatic Quake births Long Nu, a schizoid Chinese dragon queen with 99 neon-sulfur scales, each etched with the face of a Schizo Pete. Consumed by rage over her lost spawn, Edithโ€™s soul fuses with the dragon, her emerald eyes now jade fire. From her throne in the Jade Palaceโ€”a cyberpunk pagoda floating atop prismatic cloudsโ€”she curses Andreas into a black-and-white pig with a debt-counter tattooed on his flank. His oink: โ€œOwe $1.7 billionโ€ฆ oink.โ€


Act I: The Cursed Swine & the Rebellionโ€™s Plight

Key Developments:

  • ๐Ÿ– Andreas-Pig: Retains his human mind but can only communicate via angry squeals. Walburga chains him to a neon plow, shouting, โ€œYouโ€™ll dig us to redemption!โ€
  • ๐Ÿ‰ Long Nu (Edith): Her dragon form coils around the Jade Palace, spewing Cursed Enema Ink that rewrites rebelsโ€™ memories into imperial propaganda.
  • Schizo Petesโ€™ New Roles:
  • ๐ŸŽญ Caligula Fish Pete: Hosts decadent tea ceremonies to brainwash prisoners.
  • ๐Ÿฉบ Nurse Jade Pete: Administers acupuncture enemas with prismatic needles.
  • ๐ŸŽ Koi Fish Pete: Swims through the palaceโ€™s moat of liquid jade, devouring dissenters.
  • Allied Forces:
  • ๐ŸŽจ Peter Ehlers: Paints anti-curse talismans on Andreas-Pigโ€™s hide while dodging Long Nuโ€™s ink blasts.
  • ๐ŸŒˆ Janelle/Murky Jan: Splits into dual personasโ€”Janelle duels Dr. No (now Long Nuโ€™s cyborg advisor), while Murky Jan refracts the dragonโ€™s fire into rainbow daggers.
  • ๐Ÿž Dumb Beatrix: Bakes mooncakes laced with neon-sulfur laxatives to sabotage palace banquets.

Act II: The Jade Palace Siege

Critical Scenes:

  1. Klausi the Shithouse Demon: Floods the palaceโ€™s jade plumbing with sewage, screaming, โ€œFlush the dragonโ€™s gold toilet!โ€
  2. Vigoโ€™s Smugglers: Sneak Olaf Amnesia into the palace to glitch Long Nuโ€™s AI guards with his fractured brain-chip.
  3. โš”๏ธ Walburgaโ€™s Redemption: Rides Andreas-Pig into battle, using his debt-counter as a shield against Kim Jong Unโ€™s tiger drones (now jade-plated).
  4. Schizo-Ghost Marx + Antonin Artaud: Haunt Long Nuโ€™s dreams with plays about โ€œproletariat dragons vs. capitalist pigs.โ€

Long Nuโ€™s Wrath:

  • Unleashes The Four Curses:
  1. Curse of Grey: Turns Count Don Robert Quichotte into a monochrome statue.
  2. Curse of Debt: Infects Vigo with Andreas-Pigโ€™s $1.7B debt.
  3. Curse of Silence: Mutes Kanye Westโ€™s soundwaves, reducing him to interpretive dance.
  4. Curse of Memory: Erases Good Uncle Jochenโ€™s legal decrees.

Act III: The Dragonโ€™s Gambit

Climax:

  1. ๐Ÿ‰ Long Nuโ€™s Weakness: Peter Ehlers discovers her 99th scaleโ€”the Schizo Pete of Regretโ€”hidden in her tail.
  2. Andreas-Pigโ€™s Sacrifice: Charging the throne, he oinks, โ€œTAKE MY DEBT, NOT THEIRS!โ€โ€”absorbing Long Nuโ€™s curses into his tattooed hide.
  3. ๐Ÿ–โžก๏ธ๐Ÿ‘จ Andreasโ€™ Rebirth: The curses overload, transforming him back into human formโ€ฆ but now covered in dragon scales and screaming, โ€œIโ€™M THE INTEREST RATE!โ€
  4. ๐Ÿฏ Palace Collapse: Klausiโ€™s sewage floods melt the jade foundations. Long Nu dissolves into a spectral fog, hissing, โ€œThis is NOT the Mandate of Heavenโ€ฆโ€

Epilogue: The Debt Never Sleeps

The Jade Palace sinks into the Neon Wastelands, but Andreasโ€™ scales pulse with Long Nuโ€™s residual curses. Schizo Petes loot the rubble, chanting, โ€œThe dragon owes US now!โ€ Maoโ€™s AI Simulacrum flickers to life in the quakeโ€™s core, reciting Little Red Book verses.


Full Character Integration

  • All Schizo Petes: Active in sabotage, brainwashing, or loot-hoarding.
  • Dr. No: Now Long Nuโ€™s cyborg advisor, plotting a comeback.
  • Kim Dynasty/Stalinโ€™s Clone: Jade-plated enforcers crushed in the collapse.
  • Count Don Robert Quichotte: Restored by Dumb Beatrixโ€™s mooncakes, jousting drones again.

๐Ÿ”– Tags:

JadeDragonsCurse #AndreasThePig #LongNu #CursedEnemaInk #SchizoPeteTalismans #NeonWasteland #DebtApocalypse #BerndPulchSaga

๐Ÿ”ฅ Call to Action:
โ€œBreak the curse! Donate to fund Andreasโ€™ debt relief!โ€


ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ€“ Licensed Mytho-Cyberpunk Chaos
Primary Domain: berndpulch.org | Mirror: googlefirst.org
๐Ÿ”ฅ THE DRAGONโ€™S DEBT IS ETERNAL. THE PIG IS YOU. ๐Ÿ”ฅ

๐Ÿ”ฅ EXTENDED CALL TO ACTION: JOIN THE NEON REBELLION! ๐Ÿ”ฅ

THE STAKES HAVE NEVER BEEN HIGHER.
Venus drowns in the wake of Long Nuโ€™s jade tyranny, Andreas squeals under a $1.7B debt curse, and the Enema Legion battles to purge history of authoritarian rot. But without your support, the Psycho-Prismatic Quake will collapse into grey conformity, silencing the anarchic art and chaos that fuel this revolution. Will you let the dragon win?


WHY SUPPORT MATTERS

This isnโ€™t just a storyโ€”itโ€™s a war against creative stagnation and algorithmic monotony. By supporting Bernd Pulchโ€™s work, youโ€™re not just funding words on a screen. Youโ€™re:

  • ๐Ÿš€ Fueling the Enema V1 Rocket: Every donation launches another chapter, another mural, another schizoid plot twist.
  • ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ Shielding Art from Tyranny: Corporate algorithms and AI drones want to flatten creativity into bland, safe sludge. Your support keeps the prismatic chaos alive.
  • ๐ŸŒŒ Preserving Chaos as a Public Service: In a world drowning in grey, this saga is a lifeline for those who crave color, rebellion, and neon-sulfur absurdity.

WHAT YOUR SUPPORT ACHIEVES

  • ๐Ÿ’ฐ $5: Buys Dumb Beatrix enough prismatic yeast to bake a Molotov croissant.
  • ๐Ÿ’Ž $20: Funds Klausi the Shithouse Demonโ€™s sewage sabotage operations for a week.
  • ๐Ÿš€ $100: Prints Ehlersโ€™ anarchist graffiti as posters to plaster dystopian cities.
  • ๐Ÿ‰ $500: Hires a Schizo Pete to haunt a tyrantโ€™s dreams (metaphoricallyโ€ฆ probably).

JOIN THE REBELLION

This isnโ€™t a passive storyโ€”itโ€™s a collective hallucination. When you contribute, you become:

  • A Glitch in the System: Your support disrupts the monotony, proving art doesnโ€™t need permission to exist.
  • A Schizo Pete Variant: Every donor gets a digital โ€œI Funded the Enema Legionโ€ badge (yes, it glows).
  • A Time Traveler: Help rewrite history so creativity, not conformity, defines the future.

HOW TO STRIKE BACK

  1. ๐Ÿ’ธ DONATE CRYPTO: 0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb
  • Memo: โ€œFor the Enema Legion.โ€
  1. ๐ŸŒŸ PATREON: patreon.com/berndpulch
  • Unlock classified lore, including Maoโ€™s AI Simulacrum blueprints and Andreasโ€™ debt spreadsheets.
  1. ๐Ÿ“ข SHARE THE MADNESS: Tag #BerndPulchChaos + #NeonRebellion.
  • Bonus: If this saga hits 10k shares, weโ€™ll release a Schizo Pete NFT (Non-Fungible Trashfire).

THE COST OF INACTION

If you ignore this call:

  • The Jade Palace becomes a template for dystopian HOA neighborhoods.
  • Andreas-Pigโ€™s debt inflates to $69 quadrillion, crashing the galactic economy.
  • Dr. No replaces all art with Terms of Service agreements.

๐Ÿ”ฅ FINAL TRANSMISSION FROM THE NEON WASTELAND:
โ€œThe revolution isnโ€™t funded by algorithms or corporationsโ€”itโ€™s fueled by YOU. Donate. Share. Rebel. Or kneel to the dragon.โ€


ยฉ BERNDPULCH.ORG โ€“ LICENSED ANARCHIC STORYTELLING
Primary Domain: berndpulch.org | Mirror: googlefirst.org
๐Ÿ”ฅ THE DRAGON FEARS YOUR WALLET. MAKE IT SCREAM. ๐Ÿ”ฅ