— Boris Pickett’s Ghost, conducting the corporate graveyard smash
🎃👻💀 THE MONSTER MASH-UP: When Vampire Banking Throws The Ultimate Halloween Party 💀👻🎃
BY CURT JAY VONNEGOOD
A horror-comedy musical in 3D, Dolby Scream, and the scent of candy corn mixed with blood-red champagne and fax machine toner.
🎪 CAST: The Graveyard Smash Ensemble
🧛♀️ Ancient Vampire CountessHosting the party”Finally, a holiday that celebrates our business model!”🧠 Dr. Edith “Therapy DJ” Baumann-LorchMixing Monster Mash remixes”The rhythm is perfect for hypnotic suggestions!”🏦 Lex “Franken-Lorch” LorchIn full Frankenstein costume”I’m made from parts of failed banks and successful shell companies!”🕺 Thomas “Wolfman” PortenHowling at the stock market moon”My headlines transform under the full financial moon!”⚖️ Lady “Bride of Frankenstein” PortenStamping legal approvals in white dress”My hair is this tall from all the legal loopholes!”🛡️ Ghost Templar KnightsFinally fitting in”We’re not in costume – this is our Tuesday!”🪩 Monika “Glitter Mummy” MuchaWrapped in CDU-branded bandages”My bandages sparkle with political influence!”🐆 Monique “Cat Woman” K7chaPurring over portfolios”I’ve renamed my cats Compound and Interest!”🕵️ Jan “Invisible Man” MuchaPerfect for surveillance”Finally, my natural state is an advantage!”🧟 David “Zombie” IrvingEating brains (metaphorically)”The zombie apocalypse is historically misunderstood!”👶 Stasi GrandchildrenDressed as little ghosts”Our sheets have hidden surveillance equipment!”🎤 NEW: Boris Pickett’s GhostLeading the monster mash”I never thought my song would become a business plan!”
💃 Scene 1 – The Monster Mash Begins
Location: Maltese caves decorated with orange lights and cobwebs
🎤 Boris Pickett’s Ghost starts the music:
“I was working in the lab late one night… wait, this looks familiar!”
🧛♀️ Countess rises dramatically:
“The Monster Mash perfectly describes our quarterly earnings report!”
🧠 Dr. Edith mixes therapy with DJing:
“The beat makes you want to sign things without reading them!”
🧟 Scene 2 – The Financial Graveyard Smash
Location: Dance floor made of tombstone-shaped balance sheets
🏦 Franken-Lorch does the electric slide:
“My bolts are charged with compound interest!”
🕺 Wolfman Porten howls at financial charts:
“The moon is full and so are our offshore accounts!”
⚖️ Bride of Frankenstein Porten stamps in rhythm:
“The Monster Mash has better compliance than most banks!”
👻 Scene 3 – The CDU Costume Contest
Location: Pumpkin-carving station with tax loophole templates
🪩 Glitter Mummy Mucha unwraps strategically:
“My bandages reveal only what the voters need to see!”
🐆 Cat Woman K7cha sharpens her claws:
“I’m not playing a character – this is my natural state during hostile takeovers!”
🕵️ Invisible Man Jan wins best costume by default:
“You can’t prove I’m not here – perfect for deniability!”
🧪 Scene 4 – The Laboratory of Love (and Money)
Location: Mad scientist lab with fax machines instead of beakers
🎤 Boris Pickett observes the chaos:
“The scene was rocking, all were digging the sounds… of compound interest!”
🧟 David Zombie Irving eats financial documents:
“Braaaaaains… and also tax-free dividends!”
🛡️ Ghost Templar Knight tries to dance:
“We had monsters in our day, but they were less… incorporated!”
👶 Scene 5 – The Stasi Ghosts Surveillance
Location: Candy corner with wired lollipops
👶 Stasi Ghost Child #1 monitors conversations:
“The candy apples have listening devices in the sticks!”
👶 Stasi Ghost Child #2 organizes blackmail candy:
“We’re categorizing secrets by candy type – chocolate for financial, sour for political!”
🧠 Dr. Edith offers therapy candy:
“These gummies will make you forget you signed anything!”
🏁 Final Shot – The Eternal Monster Mash
A vampire countess leading a conga line of monsters through crusader caves, fax machines pumping out beat-heavy documents, CDU politicians throwing glitter candy, and Boris Pickett’s ghost conducting the entire chaotic symphony.
New Party Motto:
“Our investments may be scary, but our returns are terrifyingly good!”
🎃 HALLOWEEN UPGRADES
- Featured Image: Vampire bankers in monster costumes doing the Monster Mash in crusader caves
- Gallery: 13 spooky cinematic stills – “Graveyard Smash Edition”
- Soundtrack: Monster Mash remixes mixed with stock market ticks and champagne pops
📣 SHARE & JOIN THE MASH
If the party never ends, check our eternal playlist:
berndpulch.org/monster-mash
archive.today/graveyard-smash
t.me/halloweenleaks
Remember: In the corporate graveyard, the monsters who dance together advance together.
🚨 SATIRE-ALARM 🚨
This is 666% fiction, 777% musical comedy, and 888% why-do-monsters-have-better-dance-moves-than-CEOs. Any resemblance to actual monster parties, vampire bankers in costume, or Boris Pickett’s ghost is completely intentional and probably dance-worthy.
🎃 NEW HALLOWEEN TAGS
monster-mash-halloween, vampire-halloween-party, boris-pickett-ghost, graveyard-smash-banking, financial-monster-mash, halloween-corporate-party, monster-costume-banking, halloween-satire, boris-pickett-tribute, undead-halloween, crusader-halloween, cdu-monster-mash, stasi-ghost-children, halloween-financial-satire, monster-mash-remix, eternal-halloween-party, corporate-graveyard-smash
👉 NEXT IN THE CINEMATIC UNIVERSE: “The Thanksgiving Turkey Trot: When Vampire Bankers Carve Up The Economy Like A Holiday Bird”
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🙏 Your support keeps this monster mash rocking.
»WE DID THE MASH! WE DID THE MONSTER MASH! THE MONSTER MASH! AND IT WAS A CORPORATE SMASH!«— The Entire Cast, while doing the financial graveyard smash
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