
1๏ธโฃ “When your tax audit turns into a psychedelic Eurovision nightmare ๐๐ธ #MurkyMuchaSaga #BerndpulchOrBust”
2๏ธโฃ “Ehlers wants her soul, Schoehly-Fraud wants her crypto, and her Dream Lover just wants to vibe. The saga continues. ๐โก #LVandLVI”
3๏ธโฃ “BREAKING: Murky Mucha declared โtoo interestingโ by court of Kafka-esque bureaucracy. Full meltdown in latest Berndpulch.org saga. ๐๏ธ๐ฅ”
4๏ธโฃ “Tax evasion? Soul foreclosure? Bavarian Illuminati disco raids? Just another day in the Murky Mucha Cinematic Universe. ๐ฌ๐ฟ #MMCU”
5๏ธโฃ “If David Lynch wrote a telenovela about Slovenian tax law, it would be this. New chapter now live. ๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ๐ [LINK]”
6๏ธโฃ “โGuilty of excessive mystiqueโ โ the trial Murky never saw coming (but maybe should have). The saga spirals further into madness. โ๏ธโจ”
7๏ธโฃ “Nic Cage in lederhosen was NOT on our 2024 bingo card. Yet here we are. The Murky Mucha Saga delivers again. ๐บ๐ฉ๐ช #UnhingedCinema”
๐ฌ Which oneโs your favorite? Drop a comment or suggest your own!
๐ฎ LV & LVI: The Murky Mucha Chronicles โ “Tax Evasion in the 5th Dimension” ๐ธ๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ
(A Berndpulch.org Exclusive โ Direct Continuation of the Saga)
By “The Ghost of Kilgore Trout”
Produced by Sam Bronkowiz & Thomas Coke Schoehly-Fraud
Featuring the Entire Cast of Delusional Fugitives, Dream Lovers & Bureaucratic Nightmares
๐ช๏ธ PREVIOUSLY, IN THE MURKY MUCHA SAGAโฆ
- Murky Mucha (still played by Milla Jovovich, now with a legally dubious Slovenian accent) was last seen fleeing the Interpol-adjacent “tax tribunal” hosted by Judge Bernd Pulch (who may or may not be an AI-generated David Lynch).
- Ehlers (Christoph Waltz, but his USB teeth now run Windows 95) had just foreclosed on Murkyโs soul over unpaid metaphysical debts.
- Schoehly-Fraud (Willem Dafoeโs calculator face now displaying “404 ERROR”) was caught laundering money through a Slovakian OnlyFans for bureaucrats.
- Murkyโs Dream Lover (Jared Letoโs hologram, now with a built-in Tamagotchi) whispered something about “the Bavarian disco illuminati” before glitching into the void.
๐ ACT I: “THE PAPER TRAIL LEADS TO HELL” ๐ฅ๐
The saga resumes in a dimly lit Slovenian post office, where Murky is attempting to mail her regrets to the universe via a stamped envelope full of glitter. Suddenlyโ
SCHOEHLY-FRAUD KICKS DOWN THE DOOR (in slow motion, to the tune of “Carmina Burana” played on kazoo).
“MURKY, MY DEAR,” he sneers, “YOU FORGOT TO DECLARE YOUR DREAMS AS TAXABLE ASSETS!”
Behind him, Bronkowiz (now a sentient pile of Betamax tapes) projects a hologram of Klaus Schwab line-dancing with a Slovakian forest demon.
Murkyโs Dream Lover (now 30% Timothรฉe Chalamet, 70% screensaver) flickers into existence, murmuring:
**”The only way outโฆ is through the **third sub-basement of the Berndpulch.org server.“
Cue a chase scene through:
โ
A Viennese tax office staffed by sleep-deprived Kafka characters
โ
An abandoned disco owned by the Bavarian Illuminati
โ
A Reddit thread from 2016 that somehow holds the key
๐ผ ACT II: “EHLERSโ AUDIT OF THE DAMNED” ๐น๐
Ehlers arrives in a black Mercedes-Benz limousine made entirely of legal briefs. He adjusts his USB teeth (now blinking ominously) and declares:
“Murky, youโve been found guilty ofโฆ checks notes โฆexcessive mystique.”
The trial is held in a courtroom thatโs actually a TikTok livestream, moderated by Judge Bernd Pulch (still floating, now with added blockchain verification).
Witnesses include:
- A Slovenian folk witch (played by a de-aged Monica Bellucci) who testifies via interpretive dance
- Schwabโs cyborg twin (Tilda Swinton, now with a built-in espresso machine)
- A sentient EU directive (voiced by Werner Herzog)
Verdict: “Guilty of being an unregistered metaphysical entity.”
Sentence: “Eternal exile to the Berndpulch.org archives.”
๐ช ACT III: “THE GREAT MEME ESCAPE” ๐๐ฅ
In a last-ditch effort, Murky and her Dream Lover hijack Bronkowizโs Betamax consciousness and broadcast a pirated stream of the 1997 Eurovision Song Contest as a diversion.
Meanwhile, Schoehly-Fraud tries to sell the courtroom NFTโs but gets outbid by a bot named @KlausSchwabFan69.
Just as Ehlers prepares to repo Murkyโs aura, the Bavarian Illuminati Disco Task Force storms in, led by Nic Cage in lederhosen, screaming:
“THIS IS A RAID! EVERYONE DO THE MACARENA!”
The dimensional walls collapse, and the entire cast melts into a single, writhing AI-generated PNG before Berndpulch.org crashes from sheer absurdity.
๐ FINAL SCENE: “TO BE DECIDED BY A POLL” ๐
A single line of text flickers on the void:
“Should Murky return?
โ
Yes (but only as a cryptocurrency)
โ No (let her rest, you monsters)”
FADE TO STATIC.
๐ STARRING:
- Murky Mucha โ Milla Jovovich (with a new Slovenian restraining order)
- Ehlers โ Christoph Waltz (USB teeth now mining Bitcoin)
- Schoehly-Fraud โ Willem Dafoe (calculator face stuck on “LOL”)
- Bronkowiz โ Gilbert Gottfriedโs ghost haunting a VCR
- Dream Lover โ Jared Letoโs Tamagotchi son
- Klaus Schwab โ Tilda Swinton (now 15% espresso machine)
- Special Guest Star: Nic Cage (lederhosen prophet)
๐ DISCLAIMER: This article was found in a time capsule buried under a Bratislava parking lot. All events are 100% legally deniable.
๐ฅ TO BE CONTINUEDโฆ? (CHECK BERNDPULCH.ORG SOON) ๐ฅ
Kraken-Chroniken: Episode LV – Die Diesel-Tiefen ๐ฃ๐๐ข๐ช
Zusammenfassung / Synopsis
Nach dem epischen Showdown in Episode LIV taucht die Crew in Episode LV in die stรผrmischen Diesel-Tiefen ein, wo der Kraken mit neuer Wut zurรผckschlรคgt! ๐ช๏ธ๐ Alle Charaktere aus frรผheren Episoden schlieรen sich an, gefรผhrt von Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ und Murkys Traummann, Vin Diesel als โDiesel-Traumheldโ ๐ช๐ฌ. Erwarte eine Seeschlacht voller Action, Liebe und Chaos mit vielen Emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข
Handlung / Plot
Die Episode setzt dort an, wo LIV endete: Kapitรคnin Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ steuert durch tosende Wellen, wรคhrend Erster Maat Jaxon Reed (John Boyega) ๐ฏ๐ง und Tech-Genie Lila Voss (Zendaya) ๐ปโจ das Kraken-Signal orten. Old Man Tully (Ian McShane) ๐ฒโต kocht, als der Kraken angreift. Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, der Navigator, findet mit Seekarten eine Schwachstelle. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง trรคumt von Vin Diesel als โDiesel-Traumheldโ ๐ช๐ฌ, der ihn zu einer Sonnencannon inspiriert โ ein Rรผckblick auf Episode XXXIX! ๐๐ถ
Piratenkรถnigin Mara Steele (Margot Robbie) ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐ und Taucher Kai Lin (Simu Liu) ๐คฟ๐ schlieรen sich an. Die Crew โ Don Corleone (Marlon Brando, Archivmaterial) ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface (Paul Muni, Archivmaterial) ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen (Robert Duvall) ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko (Jean Gabin, Archivmaterial) ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson (Archivmaterial) ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti (Archivmaterial) ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas (Denzel Washington) ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo (Archivmaterial) โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen (Archivmaterial) ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti (Archivmaterial) ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese (Archivmaterial) ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy Bonpensiero (Vincent Pastore) ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist Reles (Archivmaterial) ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke Buchalter (Archivmaterial) ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano (Archivmaterial) ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger (Archivmaterial) ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone (Archivmaterial) ๐ฒ๐, Tony “Ducks” Corallo (Archivmaterial) ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy (Archivmaterial) ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat (Archivmaterial) ๐๏ธโก, The Gloop 15.0 (CGI) ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda Shine (Archivmaterial) ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt (CGI) ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, George “Machine Gun” Kelly (Archivmaterial) ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel (Archivmaterial) ๐ฐ๐ฒ, “Joey Bananas” Bonanno (Archivmaterial) ๐๐, Carmine “The Snake” Persico (Archivmaterial) ๐๐, Dutch Schulz (Archivmaterial) ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano (Archivmaterial) ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante (Archivmaterial) ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro (Archivmaterial) ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts (Tony Sirico) ๐๏ธ๐, “Two-Gun” Crowley (Archivmaterial) ๐๐ซ, John “No Nose” DiFronzo (Archivmaterial) ๐ธ๐, “Fat Tony” Salerno (Archivmaterial) ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile Jr. (Jason Cerbone) ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti (Bobby Cannavale) ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana (Al Pacino) ๐จ๐ธ, “Crazy Joe” Gallo (Archivmaterial) ๐จ๐, John Gotti (Archivmaterial) ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips (Vincent Pastore) ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles (Archivmaterial) ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci (Gastone Moschin) ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent Burke (Robert De Niro) ๐๐, Tony Clifton (Archivmaterial) ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti (Ray Liotta) ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters (Archivmaterial) ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio (Steven Bauer) ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot (Lawrence Tierney) ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman (Bob Odenkirk) โ๏ธ๐, “Red” Levine (Archivmaterial) โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello (Archivmaterial) ๐๏ธ๐ผ, “The Iceman” Kuklinski (Michael Shannon) โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor the Assassin (Archivmaterial) ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar (Wagner Moura) ๐๐๏ธ, “Teflon Don” John Gotti (Archivmaterial) ๐๐, “Jimmy the Gent” Burke (Robert De Niro) ๐โณ, Don Barzini (Richard Conte) ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto (Archivmaterial) ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little (Michael K. Williams) ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell (Idris Elba) ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) ๐ฐ๐ โ kรคmpft vereint. Diesel-Traumheld feuert mit โLasst uns dieses Monster erledigen!โ an, und die Sonnencannon vertreibt den Kraken! ๐๐
Besetzung / Cast
- Kapitรคnin Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
- Erster Maat Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
- Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
- Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
- Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
- Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
- Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
- Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
- Diesel-Traumheld – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
- Don Corleone – Marlon Brando (Archivmaterial) ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ
- Scarface – Paul Muni (Archivmaterial) ๐ซ๐ญ
- Tom Hagen – Robert Duvall ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ
- Pepe le Moko – Jean Gabin (Archivmaterial) ๐ฉ๐
- Baby Face Nelson – Archivmaterial ๐ซ๐
- Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) – Archivmaterial ๐คช๐ฅ
- Peter Gotti – Archivmaterial ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ
- Frank Lucas – Denzel Washington ๐ฆ๐ธ
- El Chapo – Archivmaterial โ๏ธ๐
- Mickey Cohen – Archivmaterial ๐ฌ๐ฟ
- Frank Nitti – Archivmaterial ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ
- Michael Franzese – Archivmaterial ๐ผ๐ค
- Big Pussy Bonpensiero – Vincent Pastore ๐ฑ๐ช
- Kid Twist Reles – Archivmaterial ๐ช๐ฏ
- Lepke Buchalter – Archivmaterial ๐ฆ๐ฅ
- Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano – Archivmaterial ๐โ๏ธ
- Tommy DeVito – Joe Pesci ๐๐ช
- Whitey Bulger – Archivmaterial ๐ฑ๐
- Al Capone – Archivmaterial ๐ฒ๐
- Tony “Ducks” Corallo – Archivmaterial ๐ฆ๐ฐ
- Mudpuppy – Archivmaterial ๐บ๐ธ
- SkyRat – Archivmaterial ๐๏ธโก
- The Gloop 15.0 – CGI ๐ฆ ๐ญ
- Mayor Glenda Shine – Archivmaterial ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต
- Agent Silt – CGI ๐ค๐ต๏ธ
- George “Machine Gun” Kelly – Archivmaterial ๐ซ๐ฉ
- Bugsy Siegel – Archivmaterial ๐ฐ๐ฒ
- “Joey Bananas” Bonanno – Archivmaterial ๐๐
- Carmine “The Snake” Persico – Archivmaterial ๐๐
- Dutch Schulz – Archivmaterial ๐๐ซ
- Lucky Luciano – Archivmaterial ๐ฒ๐
- Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante – Archivmaterial ๐๐ซ๏ธ
- Tony Spilotro – Archivmaterial ๐๐ก๏ธ
- Paulie Walnuts – Tony Sirico ๐๏ธ๐
- “Two-Gun” Crowley – Archivmaterial ๐๐ซ
- John “No Nose” DiFronzo – Archivmaterial ๐ธ๐
- “Fat Tony” Salerno – Archivmaterial ๐ฌ๐ฌ
- Jackie Aprile Jr. – Jason Cerbone ๐คฆ๐ฌ
- Gyp Rosetti – Bobby Cannavale ๐ฃ๐ฅ
- Tony Montana – Al Pacino ๐จ๐ธ
- “Crazy Joe” Gallo – Archivmaterial ๐จ๐
- John Gotti – Archivmaterial ๐๐ผ
- Johnny Tightlips – Vincent Pastore ๐ค๐ง
- Don Rickles – Archivmaterial ๐ค๐
- Don Fanucci – Gastone Moschin ๐ฅ๐ฉ
- Jimmy the Gent Burke – Robert De Niro ๐๐
- Tony Clifton – Archivmaterial ๐ค๐คก
- Tony Vercetti – Ray Liotta ๐ฟ๐ซ
- Oddball Gangsters – Archivmaterial ๐ฃ๐
- Don Eladio – Steven Bauer ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง
- Joe Cabot – Lawrence Tierney ๐จ๐๏ธ
- Saul Goodman – Bob Odenkirk โ๏ธ๐
- “Red” Levine – Archivmaterial โก๏ธ๐
- Frank Costello – Archivmaterial ๐๏ธ๐ผ
- “The Iceman” Kuklinski – Michael Shannon โ๏ธ๐บ
- Igor the Assassin – Archivmaterial ๐ช๐ฅ
- Pablo Escobar – Wagner Moura ๐๐๏ธ
- “Teflon Don” John Gotti – Archivmaterial ๐๐
- “Jimmy the Gent” Burke – Robert De Niro ๐โณ
- Don Barzini – Richard Conte ๐ฅ๐
- Vito Rizzuto – Archivmaterial ๐๐๏ธ
- Joe Pesci (Real Life) – Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช
- Omar Little – Michael K. Williams ๐ซ๐
- Stringer Bell – Idris Elba ๐๐ก
- Terry Benedict – Andy Garcia ๐ฐ๐
Hรถhepunkte / Highlights
Wie in LIV der Kraken-Kampf steigert LV die Spannung mit Ehlersโ Seekarten-Strategie und Murkys Diesel-Traumheld-Power! ๐๐ฅ Die Sonnencannon rettet den Tag, Vin Diesels Cameo bringt epischen Schwung! ๐๐
Ausblick / Outlook
Besiegt die Crew den Kraken? Kehrt Diesel-Traumheld zurรผck? Verpasse nicht Episode LVI! ๐โณ๐
Kraken Chronicles: Episode LV – The Diesel Depths ๐ฃ๐๐ข๐ช
Synopsis
After the epic showdown in Episode LIV, Episode LV dives the crew into the stormy Diesel Depths, where the Kraken strikes back with renewed rage! ๐ช๏ธ๐ All characters from previous episodes join forces, led by Ehlers ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ and Murkyโs dream lover, Vin Diesel as the โDiesel Dreamerโ ๐ช๐ฌ. Get ready for a sea battle packed with action, love, and chaos with tons of emojis! ๐๐ฅ๐ข
Plot
Picking up from LIVโs cliffhanger: Captain Zara Kane (Emma Stone) ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ navigates through raging waves as First Mate Jaxon Reed (John Boyega) ๐ฏ๐ง and tech genius Lila Voss (Zendaya) ๐ปโจ track the Krakenโs signal. Old Man Tully (Ian McShane) ๐ฒโต cooks when the Kraken attacks. Ehlers (Tom Holland) ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ, the navigator, finds a weakness with sea charts. Murky (Jack Black) ๐๐ง dreams of Vin Diesel as the โDiesel Dreamerโ ๐ช๐ฌ, inspiring a sonic cannon โ a nod to Episode XXXIX! ๐๐ถ
Pirate Queen Mara Steele (Margot Robbie) ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐ and diver Kai Lin (Simu Liu) ๐คฟ๐ join in. The crew โ Don Corleone (Marlon Brando, archive footage) ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ, Scarface (Paul Muni, archive footage) ๐ซ๐ญ, Tom Hagen (Robert Duvall) ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ, Pepe le Moko (Jean Gabin, archive footage) ๐ฉ๐, Baby Face Nelson (archive footage) ๐ซ๐, Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) ๐คช๐ฅ, Peter Gotti (archive footage) ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ, Frank Lucas (Denzel Washington) ๐ฆ๐ธ, El Chapo (archive footage) โ๏ธ๐, Mickey Cohen (archive footage) ๐ฌ๐ฟ, Frank Nitti (archive footage) ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ, Michael Franzese (archive footage) ๐ผ๐ค, Big Pussy Bonpensiero (Vincent Pastore) ๐ฑ๐ช, Kid Twist Reles (archive footage) ๐ช๐ฏ, Lepke Buchalter (archive footage) ๐ฆ๐ฅ, Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano (archive footage) ๐โ๏ธ, Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) ๐๐ช, Whitey Bulger (archive footage) ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone (archive footage) ๐ฒ๐, Tony “Ducks” Corallo (archive footage) ๐ฆ๐ฐ, Mudpuppy (archive footage) ๐บ๐ธ, SkyRat (archive footage) ๐๏ธโก, The Gloop 15.0 (CGI) ๐ฆ ๐ญ, Mayor Glenda Shine (archive footage) ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต, Agent Silt (CGI) ๐ค๐ต๏ธ, George “Machine Gun” Kelly (archive footage) ๐ซ๐ฉ, Bugsy Siegel (archive footage) ๐ฐ๐ฒ, “Joey Bananas” Bonanno (archive footage) ๐๐, Carmine “The Snake” Persico (archive footage) ๐๐, Dutch Schulz (archive footage) ๐๐ซ, Lucky Luciano (archive footage) ๐ฒ๐, Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante (archive footage) ๐๐ซ๏ธ, Tony Spilotro (archive footage) ๐๐ก๏ธ, Paulie Walnuts (Tony Sirico) ๐๏ธ๐, “Two-Gun” Crowley (archive footage) ๐๐ซ, John “No Nose” DiFronzo (archive footage) ๐ธ๐, “Fat Tony” Salerno (archive footage) ๐ฌ๐ฌ, Jackie Aprile Jr. (Jason Cerbone) ๐คฆ๐ฌ, Gyp Rosetti (Bobby Cannavale) ๐ฃ๐ฅ, Tony Montana (Al Pacino) ๐จ๐ธ, “Crazy Joe” Gallo (archive footage) ๐จ๐, John Gotti (archive footage) ๐๐ผ, Johnny Tightlips (Vincent Pastore) ๐ค๐ง, Don Rickles (archive footage) ๐ค๐, Don Fanucci (Gastone Moschin) ๐ฅ๐ฉ, Jimmy the Gent Burke (Robert De Niro) ๐๐, Tony Clifton (archive footage) ๐ค๐คก, Tony Vercetti (Ray Liotta) ๐ฟ๐ซ, Oddball Gangsters (archive footage) ๐ฃ๐, Don Eladio (Steven Bauer) ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง, Joe Cabot (Lawrence Tierney) ๐จ๐๏ธ, Saul Goodman (Bob Odenkirk) โ๏ธ๐, “Red” Levine (archive footage) โก๏ธ๐ , Frank Costello (archive footage) ๐๏ธ๐ผ, “The Iceman” Kuklinski (Michael Shannon) โ๏ธ๐บ, Igor the Assassin (archive footage) ๐ช๐ฅ, Pablo Escobar (Wagner Moura) ๐๐๏ธ, “Teflon Don” John Gotti (archive footage) ๐๐, “Jimmy the Gent” Burke (Robert De Niro) ๐โณ, Don Barzini (Richard Conte) ๐ฅ๐, Vito Rizzuto (archive footage) ๐๐๏ธ, Joe Pesci (Real Life) ๐ฌ๐คช, Omar Little (Michael K. Williams) ๐ซ๐, Stringer Bell (Idris Elba) ๐๐ก, Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) ๐ฐ๐ โ fights as one. The Diesel Dreamer rallies with โLetโs take this monster down!โ and the sonic cannon drives the Kraken away! ๐๐
Cast
- Captain Zara Kane – Emma Stone ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐
- First Mate Jaxon Reed – John Boyega ๐ฏ๐ง
- Lila Voss – Zendaya ๐ปโจ
- Old Man Tully – Ian McShane ๐ฒโต
- Mara Steele – Margot Robbie ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐
- Kai Lin – Simu Liu ๐คฟ๐
- Ehlers – Tom Holland ๐๏ธ๐ซ๏ธ
- Murky – Jack Black ๐๐ง
- Diesel Dreamer – Vin Diesel ๐ช๐ฌ
- Don Corleone – Marlon Brando (archive footage) ๐ด๐ถ๏ธ
- Scarface – Paul Muni (archive footage) ๐ซ๐ญ
- Tom Hagen – Robert Duvall ๐จโ๐งโ๏ธ
- Pepe le Moko – Jean Gabin (archive footage) ๐ฉ๐
- Baby Face Nelson – archive footage ๐ซ๐
- Crazy Horse Gang (Chicago) – archive footage ๐คช๐ฅ
- Peter Gotti – archive footage ๐จโ๐ฆฒ๐ฉ
- Frank Lucas – Denzel Washington ๐ฆ๐ธ
- El Chapo – archive footage โ๏ธ๐
- Mickey Cohen – archive footage ๐ฌ๐ฟ
- Frank Nitti – archive footage ๐ซ๐ก๏ธ
- Michael Franzese – archive footage ๐ผ๐ค
- Big Pussy Bonpensiero – Vincent Pastore ๐ฑ๐ช
- Kid Twist Reles – archive footage ๐ช๐ฏ
- Lepke Buchalter – archive footage ๐ฆ๐ฅ
- Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano – archive footage ๐โ๏ธ
- Tommy DeVito – Joe Pesci ๐๐ช
- Whitey Bulger – archive footage ๐ฑ๐
- Al Capone – archive footage ๐ฒ๐
- Tony “Ducks” Corallo – archive footage ๐ฆ๐ฐ
- Mudpuppy – archive footage ๐บ๐ธ
- SkyRat – archive footage ๐๏ธโก
- The Gloop 15.0 – CGI ๐ฆ ๐ญ
- Mayor Glenda Shine – archive footage ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต
- Agent Silt – CGI ๐ค๐ต๏ธ
- George “Machine Gun” Kelly – archive footage ๐ซ๐ฉ
- Bugsy Siegel – archive footage ๐ฐ๐ฒ
- “Joey Bananas” Bonanno – archive footage ๐๐
- Carmine “The Snake” Persico – archive footage ๐๐
- Dutch Schulz – archive footage ๐๐ซ
- Lucky Luciano – archive footage ๐ฒ๐
- Vinnie “The Chin” Gigante – archive footage ๐๐ซ๏ธ
- Tony Spilotro – archive footage ๐๐ก๏ธ
- Paulie Walnuts – Tony Sirico ๐๏ธ๐
- “Two-Gun” Crowley – archive footage ๐๐ซ
- John “No Nose” DiFronzo – archive footage ๐ธ๐
- “Fat Tony” Salerno – archive footage ๐ฌ๐ฌ
- Jackie Aprile Jr. – Jason Cerbone ๐คฆ๐ฌ
- Gyp Rosetti – Bobby Cannavale ๐ฃ๐ฅ
- Tony Montana – Al Pacino ๐จ๐ธ
- “Crazy Joe” Gallo – archive footage ๐จ๐
- John Gotti – archive footage ๐๐ผ
- Johnny Tightlips – Vincent Pastore ๐ค๐ง
- Don Rickles – archive footage ๐ค๐
- Don Fanucci – Gastone Moschin ๐ฅ๐ฉ
- Jimmy the Gent Burke – Robert De Niro ๐๐
- Tony Clifton – archive footage ๐ค๐คก
- Tony Vercetti – Ray Liotta ๐ฟ๐ซ
- Oddball Gangsters – archive footage ๐ฃ๐
- Don Eladio – Steven Bauer ๐โโ๏ธ๐ง
- Joe Cabot – Lawrence Tierney ๐จ๐๏ธ
- Saul Goodman – Bob Odenkirk โ๏ธ๐
- “Red” Levine – archive footage โก๏ธ๐
- Frank Costello – archive footage ๐๏ธ๐ผ
- “The Iceman” Kuklinski – Michael Shannon โ๏ธ๐บ
- Igor the Assassin – archive footage ๐ช๐ฅ
- Pablo Escobar – Wagner Moura ๐๐๏ธ
- “Teflon Don” John Gotti – archive footage ๐๐
- “Jimmy the Gent” Burke – Robert De Niro ๐โณ
- Don Barzini – Richard Conte ๐ฅ๐
- Vito Rizzuto – archive footage ๐๐๏ธ
- Joe Pesci (Real Life) – Joe Pesci ๐ฌ๐คช
- Omar Little – Michael K. Williams ๐ซ๐
- Stringer Bell – Idris Elba ๐๐ก
- Terry Benedict – Andy Garcia ๐ฐ๐
Highlights
Building on LIVโs Kraken battle, LV amps up the thrill with Ehlersโ chart strategy and Murkyโs Diesel Dreamer power! ๐๐ฅ The sonic cannon saves the day, and Vin Dieselโs cameo adds epic flair! ๐๐
Outlook
Can the crew defeat the Kraken? Will the Diesel Dreamer return? Donโt miss Episode LVI! ๐โณ๐
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๐ฎ๐น Italiano
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