Tag: cursing Andreas into a debt-ridden pig! Can Ehlers’ anarchist talismans and **Klausi’s sewage floods** topple the Jade Palace—or will Long Nu’s enema ink rewrite reality? CLICK FOR CHAOS!”* **

🎪 Ehlers’ Enema Enigma: Part X – “The Jade Dragon’s Curse”A Sam Bronkowiz Production, Written by Kilgulch TroutPowered by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT🐉🐖🎋🔥

“ **LONG NU’S JADE TYRANNY!** Edith’s dragon form curses Andreas into a debt-pig as Klausi’s sewage floods the palace. Can Ehlers’ talismans and Janelle’s split personas save Venus—or will the Psycho-Prismatic Quake erase all color? ️ 
#JadeDragonsCurse #AndreasThePig #BerndPulchChaos 
 **Fund the rebellion:** [berndpulch.org/donation](https://berndpulch.org/donation)” 
— 
**⚡ Generate and tag @berndpulchorg. The revolution needs your pixels!**

Prologue: The Dragon’s Descent

The Psycho-Prismatic Quake births Long Nu, a schizoid Chinese dragon queen with 99 neon-sulfur scales, each etched with the face of a Schizo Pete. Consumed by rage over her lost spawn, Edith’s soul fuses with the dragon, her emerald eyes now jade fire. From her throne in the Jade Palace—a cyberpunk pagoda floating atop prismatic clouds—she curses Andreas into a black-and-white pig with a debt-counter tattooed on his flank. His oink: “Owe $1.7 billion… oink.”

Act I: The Cursed Swine & the Rebellion’s Plight

Key Developments:

  • 🐖 Andreas-Pig: Retains his human mind but can only communicate via angry squeals. Walburga chains him to a neon plow, shouting, “You’ll dig us to redemption!”
  • 🐉 Long Nu (Edith): Her dragon form coils around the Jade Palace, spewing Cursed Enema Ink that rewrites rebels’ memories into imperial propaganda.
  • Schizo Petes’ New Roles:
  • 🎭 Caligula Fish Pete: Hosts decadent tea ceremonies to brainwash prisoners.
  • 🩺 Nurse Jade Pete: Administers acupuncture enemas with prismatic needles.
  • 🎏 Koi Fish Pete: Swims through the palace’s moat of liquid jade, devouring dissenters.
  • Allied Forces:
  • 🎨 Peter Ehlers: Paints anti-curse talismans on Andreas-Pig’s hide while dodging Long Nu’s ink blasts.
  • 🌈 Janelle/Murky Jan: Splits into dual personas—Janelle duels Dr. No (now Long Nu’s cyborg advisor), while Murky Jan refracts the dragon’s fire into rainbow daggers.
  • 🍞 Dumb Beatrix: Bakes mooncakes laced with neon-sulfur laxatives to sabotage palace banquets.

Act II: The Jade Palace Siege

Critical Scenes:

  1. Klausi the Shithouse Demon: Floods the palace’s jade plumbing with sewage, screaming, “Flush the dragon’s gold toilet!”
  2. Vigo’s Smugglers: Sneak Olaf Amnesia into the palace to glitch Long Nu’s AI guards with his fractured brain-chip.
  3. ⚔️ Walburga’s Redemption: Rides Andreas-Pig into battle, using his debt-counter as a shield against Kim Jong Un’s tiger drones (now jade-plated).
  4. Schizo-Ghost Marx + Antonin Artaud: Haunt Long Nu’s dreams with plays about “proletariat dragons vs. capitalist pigs.”

Long Nu’s Wrath:

  • Unleashes The Four Curses:
  1. Curse of Grey: Turns Count Don Robert Quichotte into a monochrome statue.
  2. Curse of Debt: Infects Vigo with Andreas-Pig’s $1.7B debt.
  3. Curse of Silence: Mutes Kanye West’s soundwaves, reducing him to interpretive dance.
  4. Curse of Memory: Erases Good Uncle Jochen’s legal decrees.

Act III: The Dragon’s Gambit

Climax:

  1. 🐉 Long Nu’s Weakness: Peter Ehlers discovers her 99th scale—the Schizo Pete of Regret—hidden in her tail.
  2. Andreas-Pig’s Sacrifice: Charging the throne, he oinks, “TAKE MY DEBT, NOT THEIRS!”—absorbing Long Nu’s curses into his tattooed hide.
  3. 🐖➡️👨 Andreas’ Rebirth: The curses overload, transforming him back into human form… but now covered in dragon scales and screaming, “I’M THE INTEREST RATE!”
  4. 🏯 Palace Collapse: Klausi’s sewage floods melt the jade foundations. Long Nu dissolves into a spectral fog, hissing, “This is NOT the Mandate of Heaven…”

Epilogue: The Debt Never Sleeps

The Jade Palace sinks into the Neon Wastelands, but Andreas’ scales pulse with Long Nu’s residual curses. Schizo Petes loot the rubble, chanting, “The dragon owes US now!” Mao’s AI Simulacrum flickers to life in the quake’s core, reciting Little Red Book verses.

Full Character Integration

  • All Schizo Petes: Active in sabotage, brainwashing, or loot-hoarding.
  • Dr. No: Now Long Nu’s cyborg advisor, plotting a comeback.
  • Kim Dynasty/Stalin’s Clone: Jade-plated enforcers crushed in the collapse.
  • Count Don Robert Quichotte: Restored by Dumb Beatrix’s mooncakes, jousting drones again.

🔖 Tags:

JadeDragonsCurse #AndreasThePig #LongNu #CursedEnemaInk #SchizoPeteTalismans #NeonWasteland #DebtApocalypse #BerndPulchSaga

🔥 Call to Action:
“Break the curse! Donate to fund Andreas’ debt relief!”

© BERNDPULCH.ORG – Licensed Mytho-Cyberpunk Chaos
Primary Domain: berndpulch.org | Mirror: googlefirst.org
🔥 THE DRAGON’S DEBT IS ETERNAL. THE PIG IS YOU. 🔥

🔥 EXTENDED CALL TO ACTION: JOIN THE NEON REBELLION! 🔥

THE STAKES HAVE NEVER BEEN HIGHER.
Venus drowns in the wake of Long Nu’s jade tyranny, Andreas squeals under a $1.7B debt curse, and the Enema Legion battles to purge history of authoritarian rot. But without your support, the Psycho-Prismatic Quake will collapse into grey conformity, silencing the anarchic art and chaos that fuel this revolution. Will you let the dragon win?

WHY SUPPORT MATTERS

This isn’t just a story—it’s a war against creative stagnation and algorithmic monotony. By supporting Bernd Pulch’s work, you’re not just funding words on a screen. You’re:

  • 🚀 Fueling the Enema V1 Rocket: Every donation launches another chapter, another mural, another schizoid plot twist.
  • 🛡️ Shielding Art from Tyranny: Corporate algorithms and AI drones want to flatten creativity into bland, safe sludge. Your support keeps the prismatic chaos alive.
  • 🌌 Preserving Chaos as a Public Service: In a world drowning in grey, this saga is a lifeline for those who crave color, rebellion, and neon-sulfur absurdity.

WHAT YOUR SUPPORT ACHIEVES

  • 💰 $5: Buys Dumb Beatrix enough prismatic yeast to bake a Molotov croissant.
  • 💎 $20: Funds Klausi the Shithouse Demon’s sewage sabotage operations for a week.
  • 🚀 $100: Prints Ehlers’ anarchist graffiti as posters to plaster dystopian cities.
  • 🐉 $500: Hires a Schizo Pete to haunt a tyrant’s dreams (metaphorically… probably).

JOIN THE REBELLION

This isn’t a passive story—it’s a collective hallucination. When you contribute, you become:

  • A Glitch in the System: Your support disrupts the monotony, proving art doesn’t need permission to exist.
  • A Schizo Pete Variant: Every donor gets a digital “I Funded the Enema Legion” badge (yes, it glows).
  • A Time Traveler: Help rewrite history so creativity, not conformity, defines the future.

HOW TO STRIKE BACK

  1. 💸 DONATE CRYPTO: 0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb
  • Memo: “For the Enema Legion.”
  1. 🌟 PATREON: patreon.com/berndpulch
  • Unlock classified lore, including Mao’s AI Simulacrum blueprints and Andreas’ debt spreadsheets.
  1. 📢 SHARE THE MADNESS: Tag #BerndPulchChaos + #NeonRebellion.
  • Bonus: If this saga hits 10k shares, we’ll release a Schizo Pete NFT (Non-Fungible Trashfire).

THE COST OF INACTION

If you ignore this call:

  • The Jade Palace becomes a template for dystopian HOA neighborhoods.
  • Andreas-Pig’s debt inflates to $69 quadrillion, crashing the galactic economy.
  • Dr. No replaces all art with Terms of Service agreements.

🔥 FINAL TRANSMISSION FROM THE NEON WASTELAND:
“The revolution isn’t funded by algorithms or corporations—it’s fueled by YOU. Donate. Share. Rebel. Or kneel to the dragon.”

© BERNDPULCH.ORG – LICENSED ANARCHIC STORYTELLING
Primary Domain: berndpulch.org | Mirror: googlefirst.org
🔥 THE DRAGON FEARS YOUR WALLET. MAKE IT SCREAM. 🔥