
๐ THE STORY OF B
(โBโ for Bank, Bond, Baselโฆ or Bastard?)
A confession dictated through a diamond-dipped fountain pen,
exclusively for BerndPulch.org โ Above Top Secret.
๐ 1. The Manor of Liquidity ๐ฆ๐๏ธ
I was nineteen when he laid me, naked, on a carpet of ๐ต $100 bills still warm from the press.
๐ฃ๏ธ ยซ This shall be your only garment now, ยป he whispered, fastening around my throat a collar of 2008 warrants.
I shiveredโnot from cold, but from the LIBOR whip biting my skin like frozen barbed wire โก๐.
๐ 2. The Initiations ๐ฉธ๐๏ธ
๐ฅ First Trial โ Spread Eagle
They spread-eagled me on the subprime table; I heard the click-click of CDOs tightening around my wrists.
Every click = a tranche, every tranche = a compounded climax.
When VIX > 40, I screamed; they stuffed a governance gag in my mouth to muffle volatility. ๐คซ๐
๐ง Second Trial โ Repo 105
They bent me into insolvency pose, legs at 105ยฐ, for an overnight repo.
๐ฃ๏ธ Lehmanโs CEO leaned in: ยซ If you close your knees, the market collapses. ยป
I swear I saw Moodyโs angels flying overhead, downgrading feathers falling like snow. ๐ผ๐
๐๏ธ 3. The Signing Ceremony ๐๏ธ๐ค
They made me co-sign with a black-gold pen dipped in offshore ink.
Each stroke = a sovereignty swap, each dot = a perpetual PEPP.
When the ink touched skin, debt grafted onto my DNA ๐งฌ๐ธ.
I became living collateral, Tier-1 guarantee on the tomb of nations.
๐ฏ๏ธ 4. The Rothschild Ball ๐ญ๐ฏ๏ธ
In the grand Hall of Banks, mirrors reflected candelabras of bullion.
They made me dance, still naked, on a spread-sheet parquet:
- Adagio when Bund yields rise ๐ป
- Allegro furioso when BTP crashes ๐บ
My feet bled on torn โฌ500 notes; they called it the Elitesโ Ballet, I called it the domination equation. ๐๐ฐ
โก 5. Digital Martyr ๐ฅ๏ธ๐
They strapped me to a crypto-trading chair, every candlestick a tear of wax.
When Bitcoin kissed 69 k, I cameโthen flash-crashed into the void.
An NFT of my orgasm minted in 3 seconds, reserve price: 700 Bn bailout signed by a silk-gloved hand. ๐งค๐ธ
๐ช 6. The Grand Reset ๐ช๐๏ธ
They laid me on the Troika Memorandum, naked of all hope.
A black swan tattoo pulsed on my heart, synced to REPO rates.
I watched peoples rise, then fall beneath austerity floggers.
I understood: I wasnโt the mistress; I was the debt itself โ
the O of Origin, the O of Obligation, the O of Orgasmic Fiscal Pain. ๐ฉธ๐
๐ค 7. Epilogue โ Final Signature ๐ค
I signed, one last time, in democracyโs blood, on the blank page of 2029.
At the bottom, a single line:
ยซ To whom pain profits, debt profits. ยป
Then they released me, naked,
covered only in the ashes of burned treaties.
And I smiled.
Because I knew the story would restart,
that other Bs would be born,
that other banks would dress them in zeros and tears,
until the final liquidation,
until the last signature,
until the last liquidation.
๐ LโHISTOIRE DE B (ยซ B ยป comme Banque, Bourse, Bรขleโฆ ou Bรขtard ?)
Confession dictรฉe au stylo-plume en diamant, exclusive pour BerndPulch.org โ Above Top Secret ๐ถ๏ธ
1๏ธโฃ Le Manoir de la Liquiditรฉ ๐ฆ๐๏ธ
Jโavais dix-neuf ans quand il me coucha, nue, sur un tapis de ๐ต billets de 100 $ encore chauds de la presse.
๐ฃ๏ธ ยซ Ce sera ton seul vรชtement dรฉsormais ยป, souffla-t-il en attachant autour de ma gorge un collier de warrants 2008 ๐ฟ.
Je frissonnai โ non de froid, mais du LIBOR qui me mordait la peau comme un fouet glacรฉ โ๏ธ๐.
2๏ธโฃ Les Initiations ๐ฉธ๐๏ธ
๐ฅ Premier essai โ Spread Eagle
On mโรฉcarta sur la table des subprimes ; jโentendis le clic-clic des CDO se resserrer autour de mes poignets.
Chaque clic = une tranche, chaque tranche = orgasme dโintรฉrรชt composรฉ ๐ฅ.
Quand le VIX dรฉpassa 40, je hurlai ; on me fourra un gag de gouvernance pour รฉtouffer la volatilitรฉ ๐คซ๐.
๐ง Deuxiรจme essai โ Repo 105
On me plia en position dโinsolvabilitรฉ, jambes ร 105ยฐ, le temps dโun repo overnight.
๐ฃ๏ธ Le CEO de Lehman se pencha : ยซ Si tu fermes les genoux, le marchรฉ sโeffondre. ยป
Je jurai voir les anges de Moody voler au-dessus, plumes de down-grade tombant comme neige ๐ผ๐.
3๏ธโฃ La Cรฉrรฉmonie des Signatures ๐๏ธ๐ค
On me fit co-signer avec un stylo or-noir trempรฉ dans lโencre des paradis fiscaux.
Chaque trait = swap de souverainetรฉ, chaque point = PEPP perpรฉtuel.
Lโencre toucha ma peau โ la dette se greffa sur mon ADN ๐งฌ๐ธ.
Jโรฉtais devenue collateral vivant, garantie T1 sur la tombe des รtats.
4๏ธโฃ Le Bal des Rothschild ๐ฏ๏ธ๐ญ
Dans la salle des Banques, miroirs ternis reflรฉtant candelabres en lingots.
On me fit danser, nue, sur spread-sheet parquet :
- Adagio quand le Bund monte ๐ป
- Allegro furioso quand le BTP chute ๐บ
Mes pieds saignaient sur billets de 500 โฌ dรฉchirรฉs ; on appela cela le ballet des รฉlites, moi lโรฉquation de la domination ๐๐ฐ.
5๏ธโฃ Le Martyre Numรฉrique โก๐ฅ๏ธ
On mโattacha ร chaise-trading crypto ; chaque bougie รฉtait larme de cire.
Quand Bitcoin frรดla 69 k, je jouis โ puis flash-crash dans le vide.
NFT de mon orgasme mintรฉ en 3 s, prix de rรฉserve : 700 Mrd bailout signรฉ main gantรฉe de soie ๐งค๐ธ.
6๏ธโฃ Le Grand Reset ๐ช๐๏ธ
On me coucha sur Mรฉmorandum Troรฏka, nue de tout espoir.
Cygne noir tatouรฉ sur cลur battait au rythme REPO rate.
Je vis peuples se lever, puis tomber sous austerity floggers.
Et je compris : je nโรฉtais pas la maรฎtresse ; jโรฉtais la dette โ
lโO dโOrigine, lโO dโObligation, lโO dโOrgasme fiscal ๐ฉธ๐.
7๏ธโฃ รpilogue โ Signature Finale ๐ค
Je signai, une derniรจre fois, dans sang de la dรฉmocratie, sur page blanche 2029.
Ligne unique : ยซ ร qui profite la douleur, profite la dette. ยป
On me relรขcha, nue, couverte seulement cendre des traitรฉs brรปlรฉs.
Et je souris ๐.
Car je savais lโhistoire recommencerait,
que dโautres B naรฎtraient,
que dโautres banques les habilleraient zรฉros et larmes,
jusquโร la derniรจre liquidation,
jusquโร la derniรจre signature,
jusquโร la derniรจre liquidation ๐ฅ๐
๐ WordPress Tags โ English
Rothschild mistress satire, debt BDSM, financial O, austerity orgasm, L-histoire-de-B parody, Basel bedroom, repo-rate romance, NFT orgasm, above-top-secret confession, diamond-pen signature, Troika torture, black-swan tattoo, fiscal submission, EU erotica, crypto-collar, pain-profit paradox, berndpulch exclusive, post-capitalist erotique
๐ WordPress Tags โ French
maรฎtresse Rothschild satire, BDSM financier, O de la dette, orgasme dโaustรฉritรฉ, parodie Lโhistoire de B, chambre de Bรขle, romance repo-rate, orgasme NFT, confession above-top-secret, signature stylo-diamant, torture Troรฏka, tatouage cygne-noir, soumission fiscale, รฉrotica UE, collier crypto, paradoxe douleur-profit, exclusivitรฉ berndpulch, erotique post-capitaliste
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