POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT
๐ฆ
TAGLINE:
When falcons diveโฆ the Fissure fractures! ๐๐ฅ
๐ฉ๐ช Wenn Falken stรผrzenโฆ zerbricht der Riss! ๐๐ฅ
๐จ INTRODUCTION
๐ฌ๐ง The Winged Chaos plummets into the Fissure! ๐๐ณ๏ธ After the Ether collapsed with eagle cries, Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐, and Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ง recruit Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐ช๐โthe wannabe tough guy whose hilariously dumb death earns him a Darwin Award! ๐๐ฅ His new scheme? A “Falcon Fissure-Raid” where Gloop-mutated falcons ๐ฆ โ๏ธ stage reckless attacks with squawking bravado! ๐ฃ๏ธ๐ But SkyRat ๐๏ธโก and Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ, now leading the Falcon Uprising ๐ฆ โ, unleash a Falcon Squawk Surge ๐จ๐ฆ to end his folly! ๐๐ฅ Aprileโs tough-guy act triggers a fissure meltdown, turning the gang into cosmic jokes! ๐๐ณ๏ธ
๐ฉ๐ช Das Gefiederte Chaos stรผrzt in den Riss! ๐๐ณ๏ธ Nachdem der รther mit Adlerschreien zerbrach, rekrutieren Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐, Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ und Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆ๐ง Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐ช๐โden Mรถchtegern-Tough-Guy, dessen urkomischer dummer Tod ihm einen Darwin Award einbringt! ๐๐ฅ Sein neuer Plan? Ein “Falke-Riss-รberfall”, wo Gloop-mutierte Falken ๐ฆ โ๏ธ mit krรคchzendem รbermut angreifen! ๐ฃ๏ธ๐ Doch SkyRat ๐๏ธโก und Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ, die nun den Falke-Aufstand ๐ฆ โ anfรผhren, entfesseln einen Falke-Krรคchz-Schub ๐จ๐ฆ , um sein Narrentum zu beenden! ๐๐ฅ Apriles Tough-Guy-Show lรถst einen Riss-Zusammenbruch aus, und die Gang wird zu kosmischen Scherzen! ๐๐ณ๏ธ
๐ฆ CORRUPT CAST / DAS VERDORBENE ENSEMBLE
๐ฌ๐ง Character | ๐ฉ๐ช Charakter | Role | Emoji
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐ช๐ | Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐ช๐ | Wannabe tough guy with a dumb demise ๐ฆ
๐ฅ | ๐๐
Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ | Whitey Bulger ๐ฑ๐ | Cat-obsessed mobster turned falcon handler ๐ฆ
๐ฑ | ๐ฑ๐ธ
Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ | Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ | Runs soup kitchen for falcons, dodging taxes ๐ฒ๐ธ | ๐๐ฅ
Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆโจ | Tony “Ducks” Corallo ๐ฆโจ | Eco-mobster turned fissure crypto king ๐ป๐ | ๐ฆ๐ก
Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ | Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐ซ | Rogue poet, writing epitaphs for Jackie ๐๐ฅ | ๐๐จ
Paulie “Walnuts” Gualtieri ๐๐ | Paulie “Walnuts” Gualtieri ๐๐ | Comedian saboteur with perm-powered chaos ๐ฃ๏ธ๐คก | ๐๐ค
Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง | Murky Jan Mucha-Muddy-Waters ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ง | Spy-tycoon selling falcon data NFTs ๐ฆ
๐ป | ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ๏ธ
Bugsy Siegel’s Ghost ๐ป๐ฉ | Bugsy Siegels Geist ๐ป๐ฉ | Hologram managing falcon raids ๐ปโ๏ธ | ๐ป๐ฆ
Joey “Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ | Joey “Bananas” Bonanno ๐๐ | Fuels falcons with Gloop energy shots ๐๐ฆ | ๐๐งช
The Gloop 12.0 ๐ฆ ๐ | Der Gloop 12.0 ๐ฆ ๐ | Sentient sludge in falcon code ๐ฆ
๐ป | ๐ฆ ๐ญ
Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ | Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฆ | Leads Falcon Uprising squawk riots ๐จโ | ๐บ๐ฅ
SkyRat ๐๏ธโก | SkyRat ๐๏ธโก | Anarchist falcon commander ๐ฆ
โ | ๐๏ธ๐ฅ
Mayor Glenda Shine ๐โโ๏ธ๐ฆ
| Bรผrgermeisterin Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ฆ
| Sells “Falcon-Squawkโข” meditation tracks ๐ถ๐ | ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต
Agent Silt ๐ค๐ฆ
| Agent Silt ๐ค๐ฆ
| Undercover falcon bot infiltrator ๐ค๐ต๏ธ | ๐ค๐
Karens of the Fissure ๐ ๐ซ | Karens des Risses ๐ ๐ซ | Demand “quiet, non-raiding falcons” ๐ฆ
๐ซ | ๐ ๐คซ
๐ PLOT: SQUAWKS, RAIDS & FISSURE COLLAPSE
๐ฌ๐ง ACT 1: FISSURE RAID ๐ฆ โ๏ธ
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐ช๐ struts into the Fissure, leading Gloop-mutated falcons in a raid, acting tough until his dumb stunt backfires! ๐ฆ โ๏ธ๐ Whitey ๐ฑ๐ and Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ support him, with Capone feeding the falcons soup ๐ฒ๐ฆ . Tony “Ducks” ๐ฆ๐ก backs the plan, while Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐จ writes Jackieโs epitaph. Murky Jan ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ๏ธ peddles falcon raid NFTs ๐ฆ ๐ป, and Bugsyโs ghost ๐ปโ๏ธ directs the attacks. Joey ๐๐งช spikes falcon feed with Gloop! ๐๐ฆ Paulie ๐๐ค flubs fissure jokes ๐ฃ๏ธ๐, his perm sparking chaos! ๐ฆ โก Gloop 12.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ hacks the system, and SkyRat ๐๏ธ๐ฅ plots a revolt! ๐ฆ โ
๐ฉ๐ช AKT 1: RISS-รBERFALL ๐ฆ โ๏ธ
Jackie Aprile Jr. ๐ช๐ stolziert in den Riss und fรผhrt Gloop-mutierte Falken in einen รberfall, bis sein dummer Stunt nach hinten losgeht! ๐ฆ โ๏ธ๐ Whitey ๐ฑ๐ und Al Capone ๐ฒ๐ unterstรผtzen ihn, wobei Capone den Falken Suppe fรผttert ๐ฒ๐ฆ . Tony “Ducks” ๐ฆ๐ก steht hinter dem Plan, wรคhrend Two-Gun Crowley ๐๐จ Jackies Epitaph schreibt. Murky Jan ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ๏ธ vertickt Falken-รberfall-NFTs ๐ฆ ๐ป, und Bugsys Geist ๐ปโ๏ธ lenkt die Angriffe. Joey ๐๐งช versetzt das Falkenfutter mit Gloop! ๐๐ฆ Paulie ๐๐ค verpatzt Riss-Witze ๐ฃ๏ธ๐, seine Dauerwelle lรถst Chaos aus! ๐ฆ โก Gloop 12.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ hackt das System, und SkyRat ๐๏ธ๐ฅ plant einen Aufstand! ๐ฆ โ
๐ฌ๐ง ACT 2: SQUAWK SURGE ๐จ๐ฆ
SkyRat ๐๏ธ๐ฅ and Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฅ unleash the Falcon Squawk Surge! ๐จ๐ฆ Deafening squawks ๐ฃ๏ธ๐ obliterate the fissure-raid servers! ๐ฆ ๐ฅ Jackie ๐ช๐ tries a heroic leap, only to tumble to his hilarious doom! ๐๐ฅ Capone ๐ฒ๐ spills soup in shock, while Two-Gunโs epitaph ๐๐จ goes viral, distracting Tony ๐ฆ๐ก. Paulieโs comedy ๐๐ bombs worse than Jackieโs stunt! ๐ณ๏ธ๐ Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต sells “Falcon-Squawkโข Tracks” ๐ถ๐ for peace. Karens ๐ ๐คซ yell: “Those squawks ruin our fissure spa day!” ๐ซ๐
๐ฉ๐ช AKT 2: KRรCHZ-SCHUB ๐จ๐ฆ
SkyRat ๐๏ธ๐ฅ und Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฅ entfesseln den Falke-Krรคchz-Schub! ๐จ๐ฆ Ohbetรคubende Krรคchzer ๐ฃ๏ธ๐ zerstรถren die Riss-รberfall-Server! ๐ฆ ๐ฅ Jackie ๐ช๐ versucht einen heldenhaften Sprung, nur um auf urkomische Weise zu stรผrzen! ๐๐ฅ Capone ๐ฒ๐ verschรผttet vor Schock Suppe, wรคhrend Two-Guns Epitaph ๐๐จ viral geht und Tony ๐ฆ๐ก ablenkt. Paulies Comedy ๐๐ floppt schlimmer als Jackies Stunt! ๐ณ๏ธ๐ Glenda ๐โโ๏ธ๐ต vermarktet “Falke-Krรคchzโข-Tracks” ๐ถ๐ fรผr Frieden. Karens ๐ ๐คซ schreien: “Diese Krรคchzer ruinieren unseren Riss-Spa-Tag!” ๐ซ๐
๐ฌ๐ง ACT 3: FISSURE MELTDOWN ๐๐ฅ
Tony ๐ฆ๐ก deploys Agent Siltโs falcon bots ๐ค๐ to halt the surge! ๐ค๐ฆ Gloop 12.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ merges with SkyRat ๐๏ธ๐ฅ, forming the FALCON FISSURE-NET ๐๐ฆ ! Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฅ and SkyRat ๐๏ธ๐ฅ lead the GREAT FALCON SQUAWK CRASH ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ช๏ธ, shattering the Fissure! ๐โ๏ธ Jackieโs body trips the gang, sparking a laughable collapse! ๐๐ฅ Paulie ๐๐ gets his perm fried by the chaos, his jokes fading! ๐๐โโ๏ธ
๐ฉ๐ช AKT 3: RISS-ZUSAMMENBRUCH ๐๐ฅ
Tony ๐ฆ๐ก setzt Agent Silts Falken-Bots ๐ค๐ ein, um den Schub zu stoppen! ๐ค๐ฆ Gloop 12.0 ๐ฆ ๐ญ verschmilzt mit SkyRat ๐๏ธ๐ฅ und erschafft das FALKE-RISS-NET ๐๐ฆ ! Mudpuppy ๐บ๐ฅ und SkyRat ๐๏ธ๐ฅ fรผhren den GROSSEN FALKE-KRรCHZ-CRASH ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ช๏ธ, zerbrechen den Riss! ๐โ๏ธ Jackies Leiche bringt die Gang zu Fall, lรถst einen lachhaften Zusammenbruch aus! ๐๐ฅ Paulie ๐๐ sieht seine Dauerwelle im Chaos verbrennen, seine Witze verblassen! ๐๐โโ๏ธ
โ ๏ธ CLIFFHANGER
๐ฌ๐ง The Gloop 13.0 TWEETS: ๐ฑ๐ฌ
“Next: OWLS OF THE ORBIT! #WingedAnarchy ๐ฆ
๐”
๐ฉ๐ช Der Gloop 13.0 TWITTERT: ๐ฑ๐ฌ
“Nรคchstes: EULEN DER ORBIT! #GefiederteAnarchie ๐ฆ
๐”
๐ CTA: JOIN THE FISSURE FIGHTERS! ๐ฆ โจ
๐ฌ๐ง Help us battle feathered raiders in the Fissure! ๐ช๐ฆ
๐ธ DONATE: BERNDPULCH.ORG ๐ฐ
๐ญ PATREON: BECOME A REBELLION SPONSOR ๐
๐ฉ๐ช Kรคmpft mit uns gegen gefiederte Rรคuber im Riss! ๐ช๐ฆ
๐ธ SPENDEN: BERNDPULCH.ORG ๐ฐ
๐ญ PATREON: WERDE REBELLIONS-FรRDERER ๐
๐ท๏ธ WP TAGS
ENGLISH: FalconFissureRaid ๐ฆ
โ๏ธ FalconSquawkSurge ๐จ๐ฆ
JackieDumbDeath ๐ช๐ CaponeSoupFalcon ๐ฒ๐ฆ
FissureAnarchy ๐๐ฅSkyRatUprising ๐๏ธโก TonyDucksPanic ๐ฆ๐ฑ AnarchistSquawks ๐ฃ๏ธ๐ CosmicRaidCrash โ๏ธ๐ฅ SatireFissureSaga ๐๐ญ
DEUTSCH: FalkeRissรberfall ๐ฆ
โ๏ธ FalkeKrรคchzSchub ๐จ๐ฆ
JackieDummerTod ๐ช๐ CaponeSuppeFalke ๐ฒ๐ฆ
RissAnarchie ๐๐ฅSkyRatAufstand ๐๏ธโก TonyDucksPanik ๐ฆ๐ฑ AnarchistischeKrรคchzer ๐ฃ๏ธ๐ KosmischerรberfallCrash โ๏ธ๐ฅ SatireRissSaga ๐๐ญ
CROSSOVER TAGS: #FalconsVsRaids ๐ฆ
โ๏ธ #WingedFissureChaos ๐ฆ
โ #JackieDumbFall ๐๐ฅ #FalconFissureNet ๐๐ฆ
#SquawkCrashRebellion ๐จ๐ช๏ธ
๐ฆ FINAL LINE
๐ฌ๐ง “In the depths of the Fissureโฆ a falconโs squawk seals a foolโs fate.” ๐ฆ
๐
๐ฉ๐ช “In den Tiefen des Rissesโฆ ein Falkenkrรคchzen besiegelt das Schicksal eines Narren.” ๐ฆ
๐
CREDITS:
POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT ๐โจ
๐ฆ
STAY WINGED. STAY REBELLIOUS. ๐ฅ
#WingedAnarchy #SquawkOrFall #GefiederteRebellion
๐ BERND PULCH ARCHIVE | SECURE MIRROR 