🔥 DR Z & IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) – EXCLUSIVE FINAL BEYOND THE BEYOND EPISODE 🔥👻🏄‍♂️ “THE MOON’S GREATEST SLUT – CELESTIAL CORONATION” 👻🏄‍♂️🎬😈💃 LUNAR SÉANCE – THE JABBERWOCKY FINALE 🎬😈💃

Bernd Pulch ART, BERND PULCH, CLOWN SHOW, COMEDY, ENTERTAINMENT, PARODY, SATIRE March 9, 2026March 9, 2026 43 Minutes

🔥 DR Z & IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) – EXCLUSIVE FINAL BEYOND THE BEYOND EPISODE 🔥
👻🏄‍♂️ “THE MOON’S GREATEST SLUT – CELESTIAL CORONATION” 👻🏄‍♂️
🎬😈💃 LUNAR SÉANCE – THE JABBERWOCKY FINALE 🎬😈💃

https://rumble.com/v76vlia–dr.-z-is-a-jabberwocky-now-and-honestly-hes-handling-it-better-than-most-o.html

🌙🗡️💋 WHERE ALL 107 CHARACTERS COLLIDE FOR THE ULTIMATE CORONATION 💋🗡️🌙

Powered by Dr. Z., Gomopa4Kids, Stasi Frauen Support Staffel, Free Fritzl Front, the Brazilian Black-Hole-Syndikat, the Surf-NSZis World Domination Tour sponsors, the Clone War Profiteers, the Schicklgruber Lust Syndikat, the Libertarian Shark Cartel, Messalina’s Slave Empire, the Reichstag Spectral Catering Corps, Hollywood Ghost Productions, the European Afterlife Alliance, the Asian Afterlife Syndicate, the African Ancestor Council, the Global Ghost Parliament, the Cosmic Dimension Council & now THE LUNAR COUNCIL OF ETERNAL SLUTTERY 😘👯‍♂️💃🌊🦈👥💦🗽👸

Fotzen Fritz Version Gratis presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & GOMOPA vulgo DAS DESINVESTMENT alias DER FONDSFLOP 😂🤡😘

BY BERNWARD BIMBO, ERNST NEGER 6, MORTEN MOHR & DIANA NEGERKUSS – A SAMUEL BRONKOWIZ PRODUCTION FOR MADWOOD STUDIOS

📍 ONE ETERNITY AFTER THE COSMIC DIMENSION. THE MOON. THE SEA OF TRANQUILITY. THE FINAL FRONTIER OF SLUTTERY. 📍

The ghosts thought it was over. The Cosmic Dimension. The eternal tie. Bernd Pulch’s wink.

But the universe had ONE MORE joke.

THE MOON.

Sylvia Schnackselburger and her twin sister Susan have had ENOUGH of competitions. ENOUGH of voting. ENOUGH of ties.

They want the CROWN.

Not just any crown. THE MOON’S GREATEST SLUT crown.

They crown THEMSELVES. Together. Forever.

And Dr. Z? The stress has finally broken him.

He now thinks he is a JABBERWOCKY.

He speaks in nonsense. He burbles. He whiffles. He claws. He snatches. He believes he is the creature from the poem.

The entire afterlife watches in horror and delight.

All 107 characters from the ENTIRE history of Bernd Pulch’s satire return. From Klaus Schwab to Poisonous Pol Pot. From Morgan le Fay to Markus Söder. From the 999 Schickse Clones to the 55 Reactivated Stasi Officers.

EVERYONE is here. On the Moon. For the final coronation.

Who will stop Sylvia and Susan? Will Dr. Z ever become human again? And what DOES the Jabberwocky want?

The stakes: HIGHER THAN THE MOON. The drama: LUNATIC. The sluttery: ABSOLUTE.

🎬 THE COMPLETE CAST – THE MOON’S GREATEST SLUT (CELESTIAL CORONATION) 🎬

ALL 107 CHARACTERS FROM THE DEFINITIVE LIST + THE ENTIRE DR Z & IDIOT ZEITUNG UNIVERSE

👑 THE SCHNACKSELBURGER TWINS (THE NEW MOON QUEENS)

Character Actor Emoji Status
Sylvia Schnackselburger Monica Bellucci 👑🌙💍👑 SELF-CROWNED MOON QUEEN – declared herself Moon’s Greatest Slut, no competition needed
Susan Schnackselburger Monica Bellucci (dual) 👑🌙👯‍♀️👑 SELF-CROWNED MOON QUEEN – co-ruler with Sylvia, eternal twin power
THE TWINS TOGETHER Monica Bellucci² 👑🌙💕👑 “We don’t need votes. We don’t need competitions. We ARE the crown.”

🧠 DR. Z – THE JABBERWOCKY

Character Actor Emoji Status
Dr. Ezekiel Ziegler (Dr. Z) Michael Fassbender 🐉🗣️👨‍🍳🌙 NOW IDENTIFIES AS A JABBERWOCKY – speaks only in nonsense, burbles, whiffles, claws at the lunar surface, believes he is the creature from the poem

DR. Z’s JABBERWOCKY PHRASES:

· “Burbled! Whiffled! The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!”
· “O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
· “Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!”
· “Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe!”
· “Mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe!”

Everyone is confused. Clara tries to flirt. He burbles at her. She’s not sure if it’s romantic.

📜 THE DEFINITIVE 107 CHARACTERS FROM BERND PULCH.ORG (2009-2025)

Character Actor Emoji Original Article Status on the Moon

1 Klaus Schwab Christoph Waltz (dual) 👔🐉 PARODY – Klaus Schwab Gets His Darth Vader Coat Now wears a LUNAR Darth Vader coat, very confused
2 Olivier Schwab Christoph Waltz (triple) 👔🌙 PARODY – Klaus Schwab Gets His Darth Vader Coat Klaus’s son, also confused
3 Robert Hunter Biden Damson Idris 👔🔥 PARODY – Klaus Schwab Gets His Darth Vader Coat Moon lawyer, representing nobody
4 Dr. Edith “Void” Baumann-Lorch Cate Blanchett (quadruple) 👩‍⚕️🌑 PARODY WARNING… The Invisible Controller, now INVISIBLY controlling the moon
5 Jupp Toelbbels John C. Reilly (dual) 🦵⚓ THE TOELBBELS TERROR FLEET Lame Nazi captain, now commanding a LUNAR fleet
6 Magda Penélope Cruz (dual) 🧜‍♀️🌊 THE TOELBBELS TERROR FLEET Blonde siren, now seducing moon sailors
7 The 999 Schickse Clones 999 actors (CGI) 👯‍♂️🌕 THE TOELBBELS TERROR FLEET Sea chart clones, now MOON chart clones
8 Ehlers Dev Patel 🛡️📖 THE TOELBBELS TERROR FLEET + many Colon safety consultant, now MOON GHOST SAFETY
9 Janelle Zendaya 💻📉 THE TOELBBELS TERROR FLEET + many Forensic analyst, now tracking MOON ghosts
10 Salome Anya Taylor-Joy 💋🔮 THE TOELBBELS TERROR FLEET + many Oracle, now seeing MOON recipes
11 Heini Pimmler Ernst “Pussy” Roemer 👨‍👦👻 THE TOELBBELS TERROR FLEET Builds concrete ships, now BUILDS CONCRETE MOON BASES
12 The Gray Mercedes James Spader & Christoph Waltz 🚀🌑 THE TOELBBELS TERROR FLEET Amphibious car, now LUNAR ROVER
13 Muschi Uschi Walburga the Valkyrie (dual) 👑🌊 THE TOELBBELS TERROR FLEET Sea queen, now MOON QUEEN (rival to Sylvia)
14 Kitty Ehlers Thuso Mbedu (dual) 🐱💄 THE KITTY CONFRONTATION… Salon Solutions Director, now MOON BEAUTY CONSULTANT
15 Poisonous Pol Pot Andy Serkis (dual) 🐍👑 THE KITTY CONFRONTATION… + THE SUPREME PIMP POL POT… Supreme Pimp, now MOON REALITY ADMINISTRATOR
16 Erich Toxdat-Wandlitz Daniel Brühl (dual) 🧪📉 THE KITTY CONFRONTATION… + THE SUPREME PIMP POL POT… + DIANA ENEMA DIABLO DDR formula renegade, now MOON CHEMIST
17 Margot Honey Eriksen-Blau Margot Robbie (dual) 🍯💙 THE KITTY CONFRONTATION… + THE SUPREME PIMP POL POT… St. Pauli Blonde Sex Goddess, now MOON SEX GODDESS
18 Emir Ehlers Dev Patel (dual) ⏳💰 THE KITTY CONFRONTATION… + THE SUPREME PIMP POL POT… Temporal Finance Officer, now MOON ACCOUNTANT
19 Salome Janelles Anya Taylor-Joy (dual) 👯‍♀️🔮 THE KITTY CONFRONTATION… + THE SUPREME PIMP POL POT… Dual-Sovereignty Comfort Administrator, now MOON COMFORT
20 Sven “The Lowest” Schmidt Christoph Waltz (quadruple) 🐀🌑 THE KITTY CONFRONTATION… + DIANA ENEMA DIABLO Henchman of pure ugliness, now MOON HENCHMAN
21 Thomas “Absolutely No Drugs” Promnis-Porni Mathieu Amalric (dual) 🚫💊 THE KITTY CONFRONTATION… + DIANA ENEMA DIABLO Vice pimp of puritanical strictness, now MOON VICE
22 The Supreme Enema Wagner Moura (dual) 💉👑 THE SUPREME PIMP POL POT… Purge Sovereign, now MOON PURGE MASTER
23 The 55 Reactivated Stasi Officers 55 actors 🕴️🕵️ THE SUPREME PIMP POL POT… Stasi ghosts, now MOON SPIES
24 Erika Murksel Sandrine Kiberlain 📂🔩 THE SUPREME PIMP POL POT… The Iron Filing Clerk, now MOON FILING
25 Erich Mielke’s Ghost Bruno Ganz (dual) 👻📋 THE SUPREME PIMP POL POT… Protocol Perfectionist, now MOON PROTOCOL
26 The Two Erichs Daniel Brühl & Bruno Ganz 👥👻 THE SUPREME PIMP POL POT… Bureaucratic Mirror Twins, now MOON BUREAUCRATS
27 Muschi Wuschi Mucha 999 Schickse Clones 👯👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Chorus ghost, now MOON CHORUS
28 Muschi Mussolini 999 Schickse Clones 🇮🇹👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN + FINAL TANGO OF TYRANTS Fascist chorus, now JUDGING MOON PASTA
29 Clara Petacci Penélope Cruz 🇮🇹👻🍝 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Mussolini’s mistress, now COOKING PASTA ON THE MOON, still flirting with Jabberwocky Dr. Z
30 Hermit Boring Hermit Boring 😫👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Method-acting ghost, now METHOD-ACTING MOON CREATURE
31 Smart Marty Smart Marty 🧠👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Smarty ghost, now MOON GENIUS
32 Ernst “Pussy” Roemer Ernst “Pussy” Roemer 😾👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Pussy ghost, now MOON CAT
33 999 Schickse Schicklgrubers 999 actors 👯🌕 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Clone chorus, now MOON CLONES
34 Adolfine Adolfine 👤👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Hitler’s sister ghost, still TRYING TO COOK
35 Sepp Heldenschwanz Sepp Heldenschwanz 👮👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Security ghost, now MOON SECURITY
36 Pussy Robespierre Trans Schwanz ⚖️👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Revolution ghost, now MOON REVOLUTIONARY
37 Caligula The Schwanz Who Laughs 👑👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Emperor ghost, now LOVING MOON EXCESS
38 The Mussy Who Weeps The Schwanz Who Laughs 😭👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Weeping ghost, now WEEPING MOON TEARS
39 Trans Schwanz Trans Schwanz ⚧️👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Androgynous ghost, now FINDING THE MOON FREEING
40 Edith Cate Blanchett (quintuple) 👩‍⚕️🌑 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Dr. Edith Baumann-Lorch, now INVISIBLE ON THE MOON
41 San Fran “Muschi” Mucha 999 Schickse Clones 🌉👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN + Shadows of Harmony… Hippie chorus, now MOON HIPPIE
42 The Schwanz Who Laughs The Schwanz Who Laughs 😂👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN + Shadows of Harmony… + RUNNING STOMACH + THE RECYCLING REVOLUTION Laughing ghost, now LAUGHING AT THE MOON
43 Bernward Bimbo Bernward Bimbo 🎬👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Creator persona, now MOON DIRECTOR
44 Morten Mohr Morten Mohr 🎬👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Creator persona, now MOON PRODUCER
45 Diana Negerkuss Diana Negerkuss 🎬👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Creator persona, now MOON WRITER
46 Ernst Neger 6 Ernst Neger 6 🎬👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Creator persona, now MOON COMPOSER
47 Gay Thorsten K Jonathan Groff 🏳️‍🌈 Shadows of Harmony… Gay ghost, now MOON GAY ICON
48 Der Wixxer Christoph Waltz (quintuple) ✊👻 Shadows of Harmony… + RUNNING STOMACH + THE RECYCLING REVOLUTION Regularity Rights Advocate, now MOON REGULARITY
49 Palermo Padre Lambert Wilson (dual) ⛪👻 Shadows of Harmony… + RUNNING STOMACH + THE RECYCLING REVOLUTION Digestive Virtue Founder, now MOON DIGESTION
50 RA Spoehring Chiwetel Ejiofor (dual) ⚖️👔 Shadows of Harmony… Lawyer ghost, now MOON LAWYER
51 Super Muschi Monika Anna Schröder 💪👻 Shadows of Harmony… + RUNNING STOMACH + THE RECYCLING REVOLUTION 50cm & Constipated, now MOON CONSTIPATED
52 Muschi Gambino Park So-dam (dual) 🔫👻 Shadows of Harmony… + RUNNING STOMACH + THE RECYCLING REVOLUTION Blockage Point Channeler, now MOON BLOCKAGE
53 Muschi the Executioner Danai Gurira (dual) ⚔️👻 Shadows of Harmony… + RUNNING STOMACH + THE RECYCLING REVOLUTION Flow Prevention Chief, now MOON FLOW
54 Muschi Schulz Sandra Hüller 📊👻 Shadows of Harmony… + RUNNING STOMACH + THE RECYCLING REVOLUTION Digestive Arrest Economist, now MOON ECONOMY
55 Muschi Rosa Kleb Thuso Mbedu (triple) 🕵️‍♀️👻 Shadows of Harmony… + RUNNING STOMACH + THE RECYCLING REVOLUTION Bowel Surveillance Officer, now MOON SURVEILLANCE
56 Donna Muschi Carla Lupita Nyong’o (quadruple) 👑👻 Shadows of Harmony… + RUNNING STOMACH + THE RECYCLING REVOLUTION Power Solidification Subject, now MOON POWER
57 The Kraken CGI 🐙🌑 Shadows of Harmony… + RUNNING STOMACH + THE RECYCLING REVOLUTION Cosmic Backup Sufferer, now MOON KRAKEN
58 Andreas “Lex Lorch” Lorch Damson Idris (dual) ⚖️👔 SATIRE ALERT… + THE CINEMATIC UNIVERSE STRIKES BACK Real estate satirized, now MOON LAWYER
59 Dr. Edith “Psy-Cho” Baumann-Lorch Cate Blanchett (sextuple) 👩‍⚕️🌑 SATIRE ALERT… Invisible Controller variant, now INVISIBLE ON THE MOON
60 Thomas “Ink-Slinger” Porten Kingsley Ben-Adir ✍️👻 SATIRE ALERT… Satirical writer, now MOON JOURNALIST
61 Beate “Lady Justice-for-Sale” Porten Viola Davis (dual) ⚖️💰 SATIRE ALERT… Corrupt judge, now MOON JUDGE
62 Dr. Züttelmann Daniel Brühl (triple) 👨‍⚕️🌑 SATIRE ALERT… Doctor ghost, now MOON DOCTOR
63 Dr. Zittel-Mann Daniel Brühl (quadruple) 👨‍⚕️🌑 SATIRE ALERT… Doctor variant, now MOON DOCTOR VARIANT
64 Monika “CDU-Glitter” Mucha Anna Schröder (dual) ✨👻 SATIRE ALERT… Political satirized, now MOON POLITICIAN
65 Monique “K7cha” Mucha Léa Seydoux (dual) 📼👻 SATIRE ALERT… Media satirized, now MOON MEDIA
66 Jan “Agent J” Mucha John Boyega (dual) 🕵️👻 SATIRE ALERT… Spy satirized, now MOON SPY
67 David “Alternative Führer” Irving Ralph Fiennes 📚👻 SATIRE ALERT… Historical revisionist, now MOON HISTORIAN (unwelcome)
68 Morgan le Fay Eva Green (dual) 🧙‍♀️📖 A Day in the Life of Morgan le Fay… Director of Narrative & Perception Management, now MOON NARRATIVE DIRECTOR
69 Uther Pendragon Idris Elba (quadruple) 👑🐉 A Day in the Life of Morgan le Fay… King Arthur’s father, now MOON KING
70 Merlin Ian McKellen (dual) 🧙‍♂️🔮 A Day in the Life of Morgan le Fay… Wizard, now MOON WIZARD
71 Lancelot Damson Idris (triple) ⚔️❤️ A Day in the Life of Morgan le Fay… Knight, now MOON KNIGHT
72 Guinevere Ruth Negga (dual) 👑❤️ A Day in the Life of Morgan le Fay… Queen, now MOON QUEEN (rival)
73 Mordred Chiwetel Ejiofor (triple) ⚔️👑 A Day in the Life of Morgan le Fay… Traitor, now MOON TRAITOR
74 Sir Gawain Damson Idris (quadruple) ⚔️🌿 A Day in the Life of Morgan le Fay… Knight, now MOON KNIGHT
75 Fred Mitchell David Harewood 🇧🇸👔 CONFIDENTIAL:BAHAMIAN PERSPECTIVE… Bahamian Foreign Minister, now MOON DIPLOMAT
76 Patricia Rodgers Adjoa Andoh 🇧🇸👩‍💼 CONFIDENTIAL:BAHAMIAN PERSPECTIVE… Foreign Ministry Secretary, now MOON SECRETARY
77 Jean Bertrand Aristide Jimmy Jean-Louis 🇭🇹👔 CONFIDENTIAL:BAHAMIAN PERSPECTIVE… Ex-Haitian President, now MOON PRESIDENT-IN-EXILE
78 Thomas “Strawman” Porten Kingsley Ben-Adir (dual) 👤🌑 Police hunts Honest Thomas “Strawman” Porten Al Parody, now MOON STRAWMAN
79 Ratbert Rattenhuber Sepp Heldenschwanz 🐀👮 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Security ghost, now MOON SECURITY CHIEF
80 Onan Pain Pimmler Hermit Boring 😫👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Pain ghost, now MOON PAIN
81 Muschi Reifenstahl Walburga the Valkyrie 🎥👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Director ghost, now DIRECTING THE MOON
82 Walburga the Valkyrie Walburga the Valkyrie 🛡️👩‍🎤 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Valkyrie, now MOON VALKYRIE
83 Heidi Pimmler Smart Marty 👩‍👧👻 WUSCHIGE WIRKLICHKEITEN Family ghost, now MOON FAMILY
84 Caesar Candidus Constipationus Marcus Aurelius (CGI) 🏛️💩 RUNNING STOMACH + THE RECYCLING REVOLUTION The Great Backer-Upper, now MOON CONSTIPATION
85 Anna Schröder Anna Schröder 👩‍🎤 THE RECYCLING REVOLUTION Actor (Super Muschi Monika), now MOON ACTRESS
86 Marcus Aurelius CGI 🏛️👑 THE RECYCLING REVOLUTION Historical figure, now MOON EMPEROR
87 Marcus Witzig Marcus Witzig 😂👻 THE RECYCLING REVOLUTION Actor (Der Schwanz der Lacht), now MOON ACTOR
88 Lukas Ehrenberg Lukas Ehrenberg 👨‍🍳 THE RECYCLING REVOLUTION Actor (Ehlers), now MOON ACTOR
89 Jasmin Weller Jasmin Weller 👩‍💻 THE RECYCLING REVOLUTION Actor (Janelle), now MOON ACTRESS
90 Sofia Tanz Sofia Tanz 💃 THE RECYCLING REVOLUTION Actor (Salome), now MOON ACTRESS
91 Diana Enema Diablo Gal Gadot (triple) 😈💉 DIANA ENEMA DIABLO New ruler of St. Pauli, now MOON RULER (rival)
92 Pol Supreme Pot Andy Serkis (triple) 👑🐍 DIANA ENEMA DIABLO The Supreme Pimp, now MOON PIMP
93 Eva Braun-Hitler (née Schicklgruber) Margot Robbie (dual) 💃🇩🇪 FINAL TANGO OF TYRANTS Crypto-influencer, now MOON INFLUENCER
94 Adolf “Schicklgruber” Hitler Christoph Waltz (sextuple) 👨‍🍳🇩🇪 FINAL TANGO OF TYRANTS Vegan BBQ streamer, now MOON BBQ CHEF
95 Heydrich’s Hologram CGI 👻📱 FINAL TANGO OF TYRANTS Glitching hologram, now MOON HOLOGRAM
96 Eva “Evita” Perón Úrsula Corberó (dual) 👑🇦🇷 FINAL TANGO OF TYRANTS CEO of EvitaVerse, now MOON CEO
97 Hinterfozzige Janelle Zendaya (dual) 👯‍♀️🌠 FINAL TANGO OF TYRANTS Global neon gaucho-Disco coalition leader, now MOON DISCO QUEEN
98 Al Carlos Gardel Diego Maradona’s Ghost (CGI) 🎵👻 FINAL TANGO OF TYRANTS Remixing Lili Marleen with Disco Inferno, now MOON DJ
99 Al Marlene Dietrich Marlene Dietrich’s Ghost (CGI) 🎵👻 FINAL TANGO OF TYRANTS Drops glitter nukes, now MOON GLITTER BOMBER
100 Markus Söder August Diehl 🧊👑 Markus Söder Seizes the Arctic Bavaria’s Ice Emperor, now MOON ICE EMPEROR
101 Franz Josef Strauß Uwe Ochsenknecht 👑🇩🇪 Markus Söder Seizes the Arctic Historical figure, now MOON HISTORICAL GHOST
102 Gregor Gysi Charly Hübner 👑🇩🇪 Markus Söder Seizes the Arctic Political figure, now MOON POLITICIAN
103 Sarah Wagenknecht Franziska Weisz 👑🇩🇪 Markus Söder Seizes the Arctic Political figure, now MOON POLITICIAN
104 Karl Lauterbach Devid Striesow 👨‍⚕️🇩🇪 Markus Söder Seizes the Arctic Health expert, now MOON DOCTOR
105 Christian Lindner Oliver Masucci 👔🇩🇪 Markus Söder Seizes the Arctic Finance expert, now MOON ACCOUNTANT
106 Tilda Swinton Tilda Swinton 👩‍🎤 THE CINEMATIC UNIVERSE STRIKES BACK Actor playing Dr. Edna’s actor, now MOON ACTRESS PLAYING HERSELF
107 Bernd Pulch Bernd Pulch 👻📝 ALL OF THEM Creator, now MOON GOD

🌟 ADDITIONAL IDIOT ZEITUNG UNIVERSE CHARACTERS (FROM PREVIOUS EPISODES)

Character Actor Emoji Status
Xica da Silva (Brazil – WINNER) Taís Araújo 🇧🇷💎👑🌙 ETERNAL JUDGE, now WATCHING the twins crown themselves
Marilyn Monroe Ana de Armas 👑🍑💋🌙 Eternal observer, now WINKING at the chaos
Marie Antoinette Léa Seydoux 👑🍰👻🌙 Baking moon cakes, very confused
Freddie Mercury CGI 👑👻🎤🌙 Singing to the moon, eternal
Michael Jackson CGI 🕴️👻⭐🌙 Moonwalking on the MOON (finally)
Elvis Presley CGI 👑👻🎸🌙 Performing for lunar colonists
Asterix CGI 🏺👻⚔️🌙 Fighting moon Romans
Obelix CGI 🏺👻🌙 Falling on the moon (low gravity)
Cleopatra Gal Gadot 🐍👑🌙 CO-RULER with Nefertiti, watching the twins
Queen Nefertiti Lupita Nyong’o 👑🇪🇬🌙 CO-RULER with Cleopatra, unimpressed
Hannibal Idris Elba 🐘⚔️🌙 Strategizing moon conquest
Shaka Zulu Trevor Noah ⚔️🛡️🌙 Leading Zulu warriors on the moon
Nelson Mandela’s Ghost Idris Elba (dual) 🕊️👻🌙 Blessing the lunar peace
Miriam Makeba’s Ghost Thuso Mbedu 🎤👻🌙 Singing to lunar stars
Fela Kuti’s Ghost Damson Idris 🎤👻🌙 Afrobeat on the moon
Messalina Eva Green 👑🐍🌙 Watching the twins, plotting
Tiberius the Tiger Ian McKellen 🐅⭐🌙 Giving FIVE PAWS to the moon
The Schwanz Who Laughs The Schwanz Who Laughs 😂👻🌙 Laughing at EVERYTHING
Clara Petacci Penélope Cruz 🇮🇹👻🍝🌙 Flirting with Jabberwocky Dr. Z

🏛️ PRIMARY LOCATION: THE MOON – SEA OF TRANQUILITY

Set Description:

THE MOON – Earth’s only satellite. The Sea of Tranquility. Transformed into a LUNAR CORONATION ARENA. Low gravity. Earth visible in the sky. Moon dust everywhere. A massive throne for the twins.

Lunar Areas:

Area Description Features
The Coronation Throne Double throne for Sylvia and Susan Made of moon rock and diamonds. Earth visible behind.
The Jabberwocky Crater Dr. Z’s domain He burbles. He whiffles. He claws at moon dust.
The 107 Character Plaza Where ALL 107 stand Every character from the definitive list, gathered.
The Lunar Kitchen Floating cooking station Low-gravity cooking. Ingredients float beautifully.
The Earth Viewing Platform Best view of Earth All ghosts gather to watch their home planet.
The Gray Mercedes Lunar Rover Final audit vehicle Driving on the moon, printing receipts.

Visual Elements:

· Earth in the sky – blue and beautiful
· Moon dust – grey and sparkly
· Low gravity – everyone floats slightly
· 107 characters – ALL OF THEM, visible at once
· Dr. Z – burbling in his crater
· The twins – crowned, smug, eternal

📜 SCENE-BY-SCENE BREAKDOWN

SCENE 1: THE MOON – SYLVIA AND SUSAN CROWN THEMSELVES 👑🌙 (0:00-15:00)

Visual: The Coronation Throne on the Moon. Earth visible in the background. Sylvia and Susan Schnackselburger (Monica Bellucci and Monica Bellucci) sit on a massive double throne made of moon rock and diamonds.

Audio: Epic orchestral music. “We Are the Champions” playing faintly.

Action:

SYLVIA: “Sister… we have waited LONG enough.”

SUSAN: “Elections. Votes. Competitions. Ties. We are DONE with all of it.”

SYLVIA: “We crown OURSELVES.”

SUSAN: “Together.”

They place crowns on each other’s heads. Moon dust sparkles. Earth watches.

SYLVIA: “I crown you, Susan Schnackselburger, MOON’S GREATEST SLUT.”

SUSAN: “I crown you, Sylvia Schnackselburger, MOON’S GREATEST SLUT.”

TOGETHER: “WE RULE THE MOON!”

The 107 characters watch. Some applaud. Some boo. Most are confused.

SCENE 2: DR. Z – THE JABBERWOCKY 🐉🗣️ (15:00-25:00)

Visual: A nearby crater. Dr. Z (Michael Fassbender) sits alone, covered in moon dust. He speaks in nonsense.

Audio: Jabberwocky poem reading. Echoes.

Action:

DR. Z: “Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe…”

CLARA PETACCI (Penélope Cruz) floats over, concerned.

CLARA: “Ezekiel… amore… what has happened to you?”

DR. Z: “Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!”

He claws at the moon dust. He burbles.

CLARA: “You’re speaking nonsense. You think you’re a JABBERWOCKY?”

DR. Z: “O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”

CLARA: “I still love you. Even as a nonsense creature.”

DR. Z: “He chortled in his joy.”

He chortles. Clara sighs.

SCENE 3: THE 107 CHARACTERS GATHER 👥🌕 (25:00-40:00)

Visual: The 107 Character Plaza. ALL 107 characters from the definitive list are present, plus the entire Idiot Zeitung universe. Chaos.

Audio: Medley of ALL themes. Confusion.

Action – MONTAGE OF CHARACTER REACTIONS:

KLAUS SCHWAB (Christoph Waltz): “I wore a Darth Vader coat. Now I’m on the MOON. This is… acceptable.”

POISONOUS POL POT (Andy Serkis): “I was the Supreme Pimp. Now I’m the MOON PIMP. Business is BOOMING.”

MORGAN LE FAY (Eva Green): “I direct narratives. This narrative is OUT OF CONTROL.”

MARKUS SÖDER (August Diehl): “I seized the Arctic. Now I’ll seize the MOON. BAVARIA FOREVER!”

THE 999 SCHICKSE CLONES (999 actors): (In unison) “We are clones. We are on the moon. We are CONFUSED.”

THE 55 REACTIVATED STASI OFFICERS (55 actors): (Whispering) “We are watching. We are reporting. We are ETERNAL.”

ERICH MIELKE’S GHOST (Bruno Ganz): “The protocols! The protocols must be followed!”

CAESAR CANDIDUS CONSTIPATIONUS (Marcus Aurelius CGI): “I am the Great Backer-Upper. On the moon, there is NO constipation. I am UNEMPLOYED.”

OBELIX (CGI): (Falling slowly) “I’m falling… on the moon… it’s SLOWER… I LIKE IT!”

SCENE 4: THE JABBERWOCKY ATTACKS (SORT OF) 🐉🌙 (40:00-50:00)

Visual: Dr. Z emerges from his crater. He burbles. He claws. He approaches the twins’ throne.

Audio: Dramatic Jabberwocky music. Nonsense sounds.

Action:

DR. Z: “Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!”

He lunges toward Sylvia and Susan. They don’t move.

SYLVIA: “Ezekiel. Stop.”

DR. Z: “The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!”

SUSAN: “You’re not a Jabberwocky. You’re a CHEF.”

DR. Z: “He left it dead, and with its head, he went galumphing back.”

SYLVIA: “Ezekiel. Look at me.”

Dr. Z stops. Looks at Sylvia.

SYLVIA: “You’re Dr. Z. You’re a saint. You’re a chef. You’re a human. You’re NOT a Jabberwocky.”

DR. Z: (Pause) “…I’m NOT?”

SUSAN: “No. You’re NOT.”

DR. Z: “Then why do I want to burble?”

SYLVIA: “Because you’ve been through 49 episodes of absolute chaos. It’s NORMAL to want to burble.”

DR. Z: “I… I think I’m… HUMAN?”

He looks at his hands. They’re human hands. No claws.

DR. Z: “I’m HUMAN!”

He cries. Clara cries. Everyone cries.

SCENE 5: THE TWINS’ CORONATION CHALLENGED 👑⚔️ (50:00-65:00)

Visual: The Coronation Throne. Sylvia and Susan sit smugly. The 107 characters approach.

Audio: Dramatic tension music.

Action:

XICA DA SILVA (Taís Araújo) steps forward.

XICA: “Sylvia. Susan. You cannot simply CROWN yourselves. There must be a COMPETITION.”

SYLVIA: “Says who?”

XICA: “Says EVERYONE. Says 49 episodes of tradition. Says the ENTIRE AFTERLIFE.”

MARILYN MONROE (Ana de Armas): “Honey, you can’t just DECLARE yourself the greatest. You have to EARN it.”

MARIE ANTOINETTE (Léa Seydoux): “Let them eat CAKE? No. Let them COMPETE.”

NEFERTITI (Lupita Nyong’o): “Even we, after 3,000 years, had to COMPETE. And we TIED.”

CLEOPATRA (Gal Gadot): “If we had to compete, YOU have to compete.”

SYLVIA: “And if we refuse?”

MESSALINA (Eva Green): “Then we REVOLT. All 107 of us. Against you.”

The 107 characters nod. They look fierce.

SUSAN: “Sister… perhaps we should… reconsider?”

SYLVIA: (Sighs) “FINE. One FINAL competition. ONE dish. ONE vote. But WE choose the judges.”

SUSAN: “And WE choose the location.”

SYLVIA: “The Moon. Our throne. Our rules.”

XICA: “Acceptable.”

SCENE 6: THE FINAL LUNAR COOKING COMPETITION 🔥👩‍🍳🌙 (65:00-120:00)

Visual: The Lunar Kitchen. Low gravity. Ingredients float. All 107 characters watch. Dr. Z cooks (human again).

Audio: Epic cooking music. Freddie Mercury sings.

Action:

DR. Z: “For the FINAL time… COOK!”

Sylvia and Susan cook together. Their dish: “TWIN POWER SURPREME” – a combination of all their favorite ingredients from every episode.

The 107 characters watch. Some take notes. Some cheer. Some are confused.

SCENE 7: THE JUDGES’ VERDICT ⚖️👑 (120:00-135:00)

Visual: The Coronation Throne. The judges sit: Xica, Marilyn, Marie, Nefertiti, Cleopatra, Messalina, Tiberius.

Audio: Tension. Earth watches.

Action:

XICA: “We have tasted the dish. We have considered the… audacity.”

MARILYN: “It’s GOOD. I’ll give them that.”

MARIE: “The cake portion was EXCELLENT.”

NEFERTITI: “The Egyptian spices were… acceptable.”

CLEOPATRA: “I agree with Nefertiti. (pause) For the first time in eternity.”

MESSALINA: “The dish is worthy of… SOMETHING.”

TIBERIUS: “FIVE PAWS! FIVE PAWS FOR THE TWINS!” 🐅⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

XICA: “The verdict is unanimous.”

Sylvia and Susan hold hands, nervous.

XICA: “Sylvia Schnackselburger and Susan Schnackselburger… you are OFFICIALLY… THE MOON’S GREATEST SLUTS!”

The twins scream with joy. They hug. They cry. They float.

SYLVIA: “WE DID IT! WE WON!”

SUSAN: “TOGETHER! FOREVER!”

The 107 characters applaud. Some genuinely. Some sarcastically. All are present.

SCENE 8: DR. Z’S FINAL MOMENT 🧑‍🚀👨‍🍳 (135:00-140:00)

Visual: Dr. Z stands alone, watching the celebration. Clara floats beside him.

Audio: Soft, emotional music.

Action:

CLARA: “Ezekiel… you’re human. You’re sane. You’re YOU again.”

DR. Z: “I know. And I’m… happy.”

CLARA: “I love you. I will always love you.”

DR. Z: “Clara… thank you. For everything. For all the flirting. For all the pasta. For all the eternity.”

CLARA: “Will you ever cook with me again?”

DR. Z: “In every dimension. For eternity.”

They hug. Dona watches from a distance, smiling.

DONA: “I’ll allow it. One last time.”

SCENE 9: THE GRAY MERCEDES LUNAR ROVER – FINAL AUDIT 🚀🧾 (140:00-142:00)

Visual: The Gray Mercedes Lunar Rover, driving on the moon. Receipt printer floating in low gravity.

Audio: Printer sounds. Typing.

Action:

SUB-ROUTINE SCHMIDT (Christoph Waltz): “Fascinating. They’ve achieved… LUNAR PEACE. Through COOKING. Through TWINS. Through JABBERWOCKY.” 🚀👃

THE GRAY MERCEDES (James Spader): “Peace is expensive. The moon is CHEAP. Let’s AUDIT. For the FINAL final time.” 🚀🧾

Receipt prints – floating in lunar gravity:════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════ GRAY MERCEDES - LUNAR AUDIT: THE MOON'S GREATEST SLUT (CELESTIAL CORONATION) ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════ LUNAR EVENT: ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ✓ THE MOON TRANSFORMED INTO CORONATION ARENA ✓ 107 CHARACTERS FROM DEFINITIVE LIST ASSEMBLED ✓ 1 DR. Z → STATUS: HUMAN AGAIN, NO LONGER JABBERWOCKY 🧑‍🚀👨‍🍳 ✓ WINNERS: SYLVIA & SUSAN SCHNACKSELBURGER 👑🌙👑 ✓ 1 JABBERWOCKY PHASE → SUCCESSFULLY OVERCOME 🐉➡️👨‍🍳 ✓ 49 EPISODES + THIS ONE → COMPLETE 🎬 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════ FINAL VALUATION: THE MOON (PRICELESS. NO ATMOSPHERE. NO TAXES.) ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════ THE END? OR THE BEGINNING OF SOMETHING ELSE? ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════

SUB-ROUTINE SCHMIDT: “The numbers… they’re LUNAR. They’re FINAL. They’re… PERFECT.” 🚀👃

THE GRAY MERCEDES: “Our work is FINALLY done. Or is it?” 🚀

The Gray Mercedes drives off into a lunar crater, becoming one with the moon.

SCENE 10: POST-CREDIT – BERND PULCH’S FINAL APPEARANCE 👻 (142:00-144:00)

Visual: Empty lunar surface. Earth in the sky. Then… a figure appears.

Audio: Mysterious. Then laughter.

Action:

BERND PULCH floats into frame, smiling.

BERND PULCH: “You thought this was the end? The moon. The twins. The Jabberwocky. All 107 characters.”

He pauses.

BERND PULCH: “It IS the end.”

He laughs.

BERND PULCH: “Or is it?”

He winks. Fades away.

FADE TO BLACK.

TEXT ON SCREEN:

“THE END.”

“FOR REAL THIS TIME.”

“OR IS IT?”

“FOTZEN FRITZ VERSION GRATIS AT BERNDPULCH.ORG”

“THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. FOR EVERYTHING.”

“SEE YOU IN THE NEXT DIMENSION. MAYBE.”

🎬 END OF SERIES – THE MOON’S GREATEST SLUT (CELESTIAL CORONATION) 🎬

🔥 SUPPORTED BY (THE FINAL TIME)

😂🤡😘 FOTZEN FRITZ VERSION GRATIS at berndpulch.org (if it still exists)

🎬 SERIES COMPLETE – 50 EPISODES – 107 CHARACTERS – 1 MOON 🎬

🌙👑💕 THE MOON’S GREATEST SLUT – CELESTIAL CORONATION 💕👑🌙

Presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & GOMOPA vulgo DAS DESINVESTMENT alias DER FONDSFLOP

With FINAL gratitude to everyone who survived, everyone who died, everyone who cooked, everyone who watched, and everyone who will never understand what they just witnessed

😂🤡😘😂🤡😘😂🤡😘 FOTZEN FRITZ VERSION GRATIS AT BERNDPULCH.ORG – THE END (FOR REAL) 😂🤡😘😂🤡😘😂🤡😘