GERMADY🇩🇪🔥
🚨🤡🔥 GERMADY IM VOLLEN CLOWNMODUS: BASWOMAN, SCHOLZILLA & DER KOMMUNISTISCHE MINIZWERG VERWANDELN DEN REICHSTAG IN EIN PANIK-ZIRKUS 💣🪩📁🧨🫨🤯
🇬🇧🔥
🚨🤡🔥 💣🪩📁🧨🫨🤯
🚨🤡🔥 GERMADY EXPLODES INTO PURE GOVERNMENT CLOWNCORE: BASWOMAN, SCHOLZILLA & THE COMMUNIST MINI-DWARF SEIZE THE REICHSTAG IN A NIGHT OF GLITTERING MADNESS 💣🪩📁🧨🫨🤯
🕒 03:14 a.m. – Reichstag enters FULL DISCO MELTDOWN MODE
The dome flickers like a drunken TikTok filter 🪩✨, emergency lights dancing across marble floors that haven’t seen real governance since 2017.
One red folder 📁. Zero paragraphs. 100% pandemonium.
Germany’s mythical §9b – the “press-X-to-govern” cheat code – MISSING.
Whoever holds it gets 11 minutes of power before Karlsruhe hits CTRL+Z 🏛️⛔.
Now the suspects shuffle in… welcome to the Emoji Mug-Shot Parade of Doom 🎭🚔👇
❤️🦸♀️ BASWOMAN – Supreme SPD Overlord of Self-Consultation
- Hovering above the chaos like a socialist PowerPoint angel 📄🌪️
- Cape stuffed with 312-page “traffic-light addendum FINAL_final_REALLY_FINAL2.docx”
- Alibi: “I was consulting… myself. Horizontally. Multilaterally. Hydraulically.”
- IG Story at 03:09: Mirror selfie, folder photobombing her eyeliner 🤳📁
🖤🦹♂️ SCHOLZILLA – the 50-Meter Mutant of Eternal ‘Äääh’
- CCTV: monotones “respectful dialogue” until microphones commit suicide 🎤💀
- One blink triggers nationwide synchronized yawning 😧🌊
- Lab swabs contain Merz-Brand™ hair gel + 87% pure centrist despair 🧴🤝
💛🦹 THE FDPUNISHER – 4.9% Biker Prophet of Market Forces
- Seen revving the Debt-Brake Harley outside the archive 🏍️🔥
- When someone whispered “solidarity surcharge”, he dissolved into libertarian vape fog 💨🌫️
- License plate: TINA – There Is No Alternative (except maybe 5% next election) 😬
💚🦸♂️ GRÜNBAT – Eco-Vigilante of Mandatory Happiness
- Claims he was turning off radiators to save three polar bears named Kevin 🐻❄️🐻❄️🐻❄️
- Tofu-Bat-Bike GPS: 180 km/h past the secret archive at 03:07 🚴♂️💨
- Spotify: Whale-song remix of “99 Luftballons” on loop 🐋🎶
🟢🦹♀️ THE COUNTESS OF GREENCHAOS
- 03:12 IG story: black-and-white selfie with folder barely hidden 🌚📁
- Caption: “Burn system, water plants 🔥🌱 #ExceptThe17CompromisesWeSigned”
- Geotag: “Brussels maybe? idk lol” 🇪🇺🤷♀️
⚡🟡 THE YELLOW BLITZ – Human Traffic-Light Malfunction
- Witnesses report: stood still all night. On red. For no reason. 🚦❤️
- Asked why he didn’t stop the thief:
“Awaiting competent sub-committee quorum.” - Expected to blink again sometime Q3 2027 ⏰📊
🍺🦸♂️ BAYERNMAN – Weißwurst-Powered Defender of Bavarian Logic
- Held press conference 600 km away shouting:
“§9b violates the beer purity law!” 🍻⚖️ - Arrived at the Reichstag via Weisswurst-Copter 🚁🌭
- Automatically a suspect because… Germany 🇩🇪🤡
💨🚫 ANTIFART-LARS – The Flatulent Centrist of Doom
- Weaponized organic-lentil gas to blind cameras 💨🫘
- Motive: “If nobody can breathe, nobody can read §9b.”
- Left behind: biodegradable whoopee cushions + a cloud of patchouli 🌿😵💫
❤️🔨🧛♂️ THE COMMUNIST MINI-DWARF (GREGOR GYSI, 1:1 SCALE)
- Height: 78 cm of Marxist mischief
- Seen riding a tiny red tricycle through parliamentary hallways 🚲🔴
- Shouted: “Give me §9b or I seize the means of folder production!”
- Pocket inventory: Lenin sticker book, micro-megaphone, unpaid parking tickets 📕📣💥
THE RANSOM NOTE – 05:00 a.m.
Every ministry printer simultaneously vomits Comic-Sans mayhem 🖨️🤯:
“§9b stays hostage until you admit ‘maybe’ is NOT a coalition agreement.
Deadline: next coalition meeting OR the heat-death of boredom – whichever comes first.
Kisses,
– A Concerned Citizen (definitely not drinking latte in Brussels ☕🇪🇺)”
FINAL SHOT 🎬📸
Camera zooms on the empty folder.
A bratwurst-shaped batarang sticks in the table like a rejected EU sausage directive 🌭🦇
Voice-over (Das Phantom der Realität):
“German decisions are like vegan schnitzel: promised, pan-fried, then postponed for further consultation.”
FADE TO BLACK ⬛🎬
Title card:
🔥🤡 GERMADY – THE LUNATICS HAVE TAKEN OVER THE ASYLUM 🤡🔥
Next week: same coalition-time, same coalition-channel.
Bring your own emojis 🍿😂💥
🚨🤡🔥 GERMADY EXPLODES INTO PURE GOVERNMENT CLOWNCORE: BASWOMAN, SCHOLZILLA & THE COMMUNIST MINI-DWARF SEIZE THE REICHSTAG IN A NIGHT OF GLITTERING MADNESS 💣🪩📁🧨🫨🤯
🕒 03:14 a.m. – Reichstag enters FULL DISCO MELTDOWN MODE
The dome flickers like a drunken TikTok filter 🪩✨, emergency lights dancing across marble floors that haven’t seen real governance since 2017.
One red folder 📁. Zero paragraphs. 100% pandemonium.
Germany’s mythical §9b – the “press-X-to-govern” cheat code – MISSING.
Whoever holds it gets 11 minutes of power before Karlsruhe hits CTRL+Z 🏛️⛔.
Now the suspects shuffle in… welcome to the Emoji Mug-Shot Parade of Doom 🎭🚔👇
❤️🦸♀️ BASWOMAN – Supreme SPD Overlord of Self-Consultation
- Hovering above the chaos like a socialist PowerPoint angel 📄🌪️
- Cape stuffed with 312-page “traffic-light addendum FINAL_final_REALLY_FINAL2.docx”
- Alibi: “I was consulting… myself. Horizontally. Multilaterally. Hydraulically.”
- IG Story at 03:09: Mirror selfie, folder photobombing her eyeliner 🤳📁
🖤🦹♂️ SCHOLZILLA – the 50-Meter Mutant of Eternal ‘Äääh’
- CCTV: monotones “respectful dialogue” until microphones commit suicide 🎤💀
- One blink triggers nationwide synchronized yawning 😧🌊
- Lab swabs contain Merz-Brand™ hair gel + 87% pure centrist despair 🧴🤝
💛🦹 THE FDPUNISHER – 4.9% Biker Prophet of Market Forces
- Seen revving the Debt-Brake Harley outside the archive 🏍️🔥
- When someone whispered “solidarity surcharge”, he dissolved into libertarian vape fog 💨🌫️
- License plate: TINA – There Is No Alternative (except maybe 5% next election) 😬
💚🦸♂️ GRÜNBAT – Eco-Vigilante of Mandatory Happiness
- Claims he was turning off radiators to save three polar bears named Kevin 🐻❄️🐻❄️🐻❄️
- Tofu-Bat-Bike GPS: 180 km/h past the secret archive at 03:07 🚴♂️💨
- Spotify: Whale-song remix of “99 Luftballons” on loop 🐋🎶
🟢🦹♀️ THE COUNTESS OF GREENCHAOS
- 03:12 IG story: black-and-white selfie with folder barely hidden 🌚📁
- Caption: “Burn system, water plants 🔥🌱 #ExceptThe17CompromisesWeSigned”
- Geotag: “Brussels maybe? idk lol” 🇪🇺🤷♀️
⚡🟡 THE YELLOW BLITZ – Human Traffic-Light Malfunction
- Witnesses report: stood still all night. On red. For no reason. 🚦❤️
- Asked why he didn’t stop the thief:
“Awaiting competent sub-committee quorum.” - Expected to blink again sometime Q3 2027 ⏰📊
🍺🦸♂️ BAYERNMAN – Weißwurst-Powered Defender of Bavarian Logic
- Held press conference 600 km away shouting:
“§9b violates the beer purity law!” 🍻⚖️ - Arrived at the Reichstag via Weisswurst-Copter 🚁🌭
- Automatically a suspect because… Germany 🇩🇪🤡
💨🚫 ANTIFART-LARS – The Flatulent Centrist of Doom
- Weaponized organic-lentil gas to blind cameras 💨🫘
- Motive: “If nobody can breathe, nobody can read §9b.”
- Left behind: biodegradable whoopee cushions + a cloud of patchouli 🌿😵💫
❤️🔨🧛♂️ THE COMMUNIST MINI-DWARF (GREGOR GYSI, 1:1 SCALE)
- Height: 78 cm of Marxist mischief
- Seen riding a tiny red tricycle through parliamentary hallways 🚲🔴
- Shouted: “Give me §9b or I seize the means of folder production!”
- Pocket inventory: Lenin sticker book, micro-megaphone, unpaid parking tickets 📕📣💥
THE RANSOM NOTE – 05:00 a.m.
Every ministry printer simultaneously vomits Comic-Sans mayhem 🖨️🤯:
“§9b stays hostage until you admit ‘maybe’ is NOT a coalition agreement.
Deadline: next coalition meeting OR the heat-death of boredom – whichever comes first.
Kisses,
– A Concerned Citizen (definitely not drinking latte in Brussels ☕🇪🇺)”
FINAL SHOT 🎬📸
Camera zooms on the empty folder.
A bratwurst-shaped batarang sticks in the table like a rejected EU sausage directive 🌭🦇
Voice-over (Das Phantom der Realität):
“German decisions are like vegan schnitzel: promised, pan-fried, then postponed for further consultation.”
FADE TO BLACK ⬛🎬
Title card:
🔥🤡 GERMADY – THE LUNATICS HAVE TAKEN OVER THE ASYLUM 🤡🔥
Next week: same coalition-time, same coalition-channel.
Bring your own emojis 🍿😂💥
🇩🇪🔥
🚨🤡🔥 💣🪩📁🧨🫨
(Bundestag-WiFi implodiert unter 4 271 gleichzeitigen 😂-Reaktionen)
🕒 03:14 a.m. – Reichstag auf Party-Modus
Kuppel blinkt wie ein günstiger TikTok-Filter 🪩✨ — im Raum: 1 roter Ordner 📁, 0 Paragraphen, 100 % Anarchie. Der sagenumwobene §9b — der „Direkt-Ermächtigungs-Sniper“ — ist verschwunden. Wer ihn in Händen hält, regiert… für 12 Minuten — dann kommt Karlsruhe 🏛️⛔ mit dem großen CTRL+Z.
Tatverdächtigen-Lineup: Der nächtliche Emoji-Mug-Shot 🎭🚨
🦸♀️❤️ BASWOMAN
- Schwebt über dem SPD-Zoff, Umhang prall gefüllt mit dem 312-seitigen „Ampel-Addon 7.1 FINAL-Final.docx“ 📄🌪️
- Ihr Alibi: „Ich habe mich… mich selbst beraten. Total poly-bi-coalitionär.“
- IG-Story 03:09: Spiegel-Selfie, Ordner dezent im Hintergrund photobomb 🤳📁
🦹♂️🖤 SCHOLZILLA – 50 Meter grauer „Ääääh“-Moloch
- CCTV-Footage: wiederholt „respektvollen Dialog“ bis die Mikrofone kollabieren 🎤😴
- Ein Lidschlag = synchronisierte Gähn-Tsunami über Deutschland 😧🌊
- Krallenabstrich: eindeutige Spuren von Merz-Brand™ Haar-Gel & zentristischem Cope 🧴🤝
💛🦹 FDPUNISHER – 4,9 %-Biker-Boy
- Startet mit der schuldenbremsenden Harley 🏍️💨, brüllt: „Der Markt wird §9b finden!“
- Verpufft in libertären Vape-Wolken 💨🚬 sobald jemand „Solidaritäts-sticker“ murmelt
- Nummernschild: TINA 🖤 (There Is No Alternative… außer 5 % beim nächsten Mal 😬)
🟢🦹♀️ DER KOMMUNISTISCHE ZWERG
- Schleicht um 03:05 aus finsteren Schattenarchiven 🏰📚
- Flüstert: „Kollektiver Ordner-Besitz = revolutionär 🧾✊“
- Schuhe winzig, Rhetorik riesig 👞🗣️
- Heimlicher Folder-Tausch hinter mini-Dreispitz 🎩📁
📸 Szene endet: Zoom auf den roten Ordner, der auf dem Boden liegt — Batarang in Bratwurstform steckt daneben 🌭🦇. Voice-over (trocken wie uraltes Brezelmehl 🥨):
„Entscheidungen in Deutschland sind wie vegan-Schnitzel: angekündigt, kurz angebraten — und dann zurück auf unbestimmte Zeit in die Pfanne geschoben.“
FADE TO BLACK 🎬⬛
🚨 Site blocked? Mirrors available here:
👉 https://wxwxxxpp.manus.space | https://googlefirst.org
Official Links & Donations
Main site: http://www.berndpulch.org
Mirror sites: wxwxxxpp.manus.space | googlefirst.org
Rumble video: Watch here
Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch
🎥 Featured Video https://rumble.com/embed/v5ey0z9/?pub=4
💜 Donate with Monero (100% anonymous)
🙏 Thank you
Your support keeps the truth alive.
👉 See exclusive leaks
USP: berndpulch.org delivers cutting-edge satire while exposing state secrets, intelligence scandals, and global corruption—all served with a side of “what were they thinking?” humor, zero censorship, and multi-mirror access for unstoppable truth.
🇦🇪 العربية
🚨 الموقع محظور؟ المرايا متاحة هنا:
👉 https://wxwxxxpp.manus.space | https://googlefirst.org
الروابط الرسمية والتبرعات
الموقع الرئيسي: http://www.berndpulch.org
مواقع المرايا: wxwxxxpp.manus.space | googlefirst.org
فيديو Rumble: شاهد هنا
Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch
🎥 فيديو مميز https://rumble.com/embed/v5ey0z9/?pub=4
💜 التبرع باستخدام مونيرو (100% مجهول)
🙏 شكرًا
دعمك يبقي الحقيقة حية.
👉 شاهد التسريبات الحصرية
USP: berndpulch.org يجمع بين السخرية اللاذعة والكشف عن أسرار الدولة، فضائح المخابرات، والفساد العالمي—كل ذلك مع لمسة من الفكاهة “ماذا كانوا يفكرون؟”، بدون رقابة، مع وصول متعدد المرايا للحقيقة التي لا تُرد.
🇨🇳 中文
🚨 网站被屏蔽？镜像站点如下：
👉 https://wxwxxxpp.manus.space | https://googlefirst.org
官方链接与捐款
主站：www.berndpulch.org
镜像站点：wxwxxxpp.manus.space | googlefirst.org
Rumble视频：点击观看
Patreon：patreon.com/berndpulch
🎥 精选视频 https://rumble.com/embed/v5ey0z9/?pub=4
💜 使用门罗币捐款（100%匿名）
🙏 感谢您
您的支持让真相永存。
👉 查看独家泄露内容
USP：berndpulch.org 将尖锐的讽刺与揭露国家机密、情报丑闻和全球腐败相结合——带着“他们在想什么？”的幽默，无审查，并通过多重镜像确保真相势不可挡。
🇩🇪 Deutsch
🚨 Seite blockiert? Spiegel hier öffnen:
👉 https://wxwxxxpp.manus.space | https://googlefirst.org
Offizielle Links & Spenden
Hauptseite: http://www.berndpulch.org
Spiegelseiten: wxwxxxpp.manus.space | googlefirst.org
Rumble Video: Hier ansehen
Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch
🎥 Video https://rumble.com/embed/v5ey0z9/?pub=4
💜 Spenden mit Monero (100 % anonym)
🙏 Danke
Ihre Unterstützung hält die Wahrheit am Leben.
👉 Exklusive Leaks ansehen
USP: berndpulch.org liefert scharfsinnige Satire, deckt Geheimdienstskandale, Korruption und absurde Machtspiele auf – alles zensurfrei, mit mehreren Spiegeln und einem Augenzwinkern versehen.
🇪🇸 Español
🚨 ¿Sitio bloqueado? Usa espejos disponibles:
👉 https://wxwxxxpp.manus.space | https://googlefirst.org
Enlaces oficiales & Donaciones
Sitio principal: http://www.berndpulch.org
Espejos: wxwxxxpp.manus.space | googlefirst.org
Video Rumble: Ver aquí
Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch
🎥 Video https://rumble.com/embed/v5ey0z9/?pub=4
💜 Donar con Monero (100 % anónimo)
🙏 Gracias
Tu apoyo mantiene viva la verdad.
👉 Ver filtraciones exclusivas
USP: berndpulch.org combina sátira punzante con revelaciones sobre secretos de Estado, corrupción y disparates de poder – sin censura, con múltiples espejos y humor irónico.
🇫🇷 Français
🚨 Site bloqué ? Miroirs disponibles :
👉 https://wxwxxxpp.manus.space | https://googlefirst.org
Liens officiels & Dons
Site principal : http://www.berndpulch.org
Miroirs : wxwxxxpp.manus.space | googlefirst.org
Vidéo Rumble : Regarder ici
Patreon : patreon.com/berndpulch
🎥 Vidéo https://rumble.com/embed/v5ey0z9/?pub=4
💜 Faire un don en Monero (100 % anonyme)
🙏 Merci
Votre soutien garde la vérité vivante.
👉 Voir les fuites exclusives
USP : berndpulch.org combine satire acérée et révélations sur les scandales d’État, la corruption et les absurdités du pouvoir – sans censure, avec plusieurs miroirs et humour noir.
🇮🇳 हिन्दी
🚨 साइट ब्लॉक है? यहाँ मिरर उपलब्ध हैं:
👉 https://wxwxxxpp.manus.space | https://googlefirst.org
आधिकारिक लिंक और दान
मुख्य साइट: http://www.berndpulch.org
मिरर साइट्स: wxwxxxpp.manus.space | googlefirst.org
Rumble वीडियो: यहाँ देखें
Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch
🎥 विशेष वीडियो https://rumble.com/embed/v5ey0z9/?pub=4
💜 मोनेरो के साथ दान करें (100% गुमनाम)
🙏 धन्यवाद
आपका समर्थन सत्य को जीवित रखता है।
👉 विशेष लीक देखें
USP: berndpulch.org तीखी व्यंग्य के साथ सरकारी रहस्य, खुफिया घोटालों और वैश्विक भ्रष्टाचार को उजागर करता है—सब कुछ “वे क्या सोच रहे थे?” के हास्य के साथ, बिना सेंसरशिप और अजेय सत्य के लिए बहु-मिरर एक्सेस के साथ।
🇮🇱 עברית
🚨 האתר חסום? מראות זמינות כאן:
👉 https://wxwxxxpp.manus.space | https://googlefirst.org
קישורים רשמיים ותרומות
אתר ראשי: http://www.berndpulch.org
אתרי מראה: wxwxxxpp.manus.space | googlefirst.org
וידאו Rumble: צפה כאן
Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch
🎥 וידאו מומלץ https://rumble.com/embed/v5ey0z9/?pub=4
💜 תרום באמצעות מונרו (100% אנונימי)
🙏 תודה
התמיכה שלך שומרת על האמת בחיים.
👉 צפה בדליפות בלעדיות
USP: berndpulch.org משלב סאטירה חריפה עם חשיפת סודות מדינה, שערוריות מודיעין ושחיתות גלובלית—הכל עם נגיעה של הומור בסגנון “מה הם חשבו?”, ללא צנזורה וגישה בלתי ניתנת לעצירה דרך מראות מרובות.
🇮🇹 Italiano
🚨 Sito bloccato? Usa specchi disponibili:
👉 https://wxwxxxpp.manus.space | https://googlefirst.org
Link ufficiali & Donazioni
Sito principale: http://www.berndpulch.org
Specchi: wxwxxxpp.manus.space | googlefirst.org
Video Rumble: Guarda qui
Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch
🎥 Video https://rumble.com/embed/v5ey0z9/?pub=4
💜 Dona con Monero (100% anonimo)
🙏 Grazie
Il tuo sostegno mantiene viva la verità.
👉 Vedi fughe esclusive
USP: berndpulch.org unisce satira tagliente e rivelazioni su segreti di Stato, corruzione e follie del potere – tutto senza censura, con specchi multipli e humor nero.
🇵🇹 Português
🚨 Site bloqueado? Use espelhos disponíveis:
👉 https://wxwxxxpp.manus.space | https://googlefirst.org
Links oficiais & Doações
Site principal: http://www.berndpulch.org
Espelhos: wxwxxxpp.manus.space | googlefirst.org
Vídeo Rumble: Assista aqui
Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch
🎥 Vídeo https://rumble.com/embed/v5ey0z9/?pub=4
💜 Doar com Monero (100% anônimo)
🙏 Obrigado
Seu apoio mantém a verdade viva.
👉 Veja vazamentos exclusivos
USP: berndpulch.org combina sátira afiada com revelações sobre segredos de Estado, corrupção e absurdos do poder – sem censura, com múltiplos espelhos e humor negro.
🇷🇺 Русский
🚨 Сайт заблокирован? Зеркала доступны здесь:
👉 https://wxwxxxpp.manus.space | https://googlefirst.org
Официальные ссылки и пожертвования
Основной сайт: http://www.berndpulch.org
Зеркальные сайты: wxwxxxpp.manus.space | googlefirst.org
Видео на Rumble: Смотреть здесь
Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch
🎥 Видео https://rumble.com/embed/v5ey0z9/?pub=4
💜 Пожертвовать через Monero (100% анонимно)
🙏 Спасибо
Ваша поддержка сохраняет правду живой.
👉 Смотрите эксклюзивные утечки
USP: berndpulch.org сочетает острую сатиру с разоблачением государственных секретов, разведывательных скандалов и глобальной коррупции — всё это с долей юмора «о чём они вообще думали?», без цензуры и с множеством зеркал для неудержимой правды.
🛑 BERND PULCH ARCHIVE | SECURE MIRROR 