9:15 AM 🕘: Wakes up in the Frozen Throne (a custom Ergonomic-Ice model). His alarm—a chorus of wailing damned souls—is stuck on snooze. Checks his Frostmourne-branded smart mirror 🪞. “Motivational thought for the day: There must always be a Lich King. It’s in the shareholder agreement.” 📜
10:00 AM: All-Hands Scourge Meeting 👥💀: Addresses his army of undead in the Acherus conference hall. “Synergy is key! I’m not seeing enough post-life enthusiasm in our plague deployment metrics!” 📊 A skeleton raises a bony hand to ask about dental plans. He is immediately disintegrated for “derailing the raise-dead numbers.” ☠️💥
11:30 AM: Talent Acquisition & Resource Management 🧠➡️🦴: Reviews the day’s harvest of fallen heroes. Sighs at a Paladin’s resume. “Ugh, ‘Light-infused.’ That’s going to be a nightmare for onboarding. Send him to the Sanitation Gargoyles.” ♻️🛡️ Gets into a heated debate with Kel’Thuzad over the cost of soul-powered office supplies.
1:00 PM: Power Lunch 🍽️: Dines with Sylvanas Windrunner. She pitches him on a hostile takeover of his “outdated mortality-synergy model.” He counters by turning her chicken salad into a shambling, undead abomination that now demands a living wage. 🍗🧟♂️💸 The meeting ends poorly.
2:30 PM: Product Development 🧪: Tests a new plague variant in the R&D lab (formerly a kindergarten). “The ‘Agony’ is good, but the ‘Eternal Gnawing Sense of Dread’ lacks mouthfeel. Make it more… zesty.” 👨🔬❄️ His scientists, who are just re-animated heads in jars, blink in despair.
4:00 PM: Performance Review with Frostmourne ⚔️: “Look, we need to talk about your soul-intake quotas. You’re just hoarding them at this point. We agreed on a collaborative consumption model!” The runeblade hums defiantly. He threatens to replace it with a more efficient, cloud-based soul-siphoning app. 📲😤
5:45 PM: Logging Off ❄️💻: Plugs his helmet into the charger. Stares out at the endless, mindless Scourge, all waiting for their next directive. The only sound is the howling wind and the faint, distant chatter of Trade Chat. 🌨️💬 It’s management hell, frozen over.
Caption: “My business is death. My real struggle is middle management, quarterly soul quotas, and an HR department that keeps classifying my Val’kyr as ‘independent contractors’ to avoid paying undeath benefits.” #FrozenMiddleManagement #SoulCrushingWork #AcherusCorp #LichKingLife #CorporateScourge #DeathAndTaxes #TheFrozenThrone
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