“I rule the land of the dead. My real punishment is managing the ones who won’t stop complaining about it.” 👻📝😤 #UnderworldProblems #HadesHR #EternalKarens #GodOfTheUnderworld #AfterlifeAdmin
8:05 AM ⏰: The River Styx is backed up again. A soul tried to pay the ferryman with a “exposure.” Charon is filing a formal complaint. 🚣♂️📄 Hades sips his pitch-black coffee ☕️, already feeling the weight of eternal administration.
9:30 AM: Soul Intake & Triage 👻📥: Endless line of shades holding ticket #4,227,681. One soul demands to speak to a manager because Elysium “wasn’t as advertised.” Another argues his lifetime of minor sins should qualify him for the “Asphodel Meadows Preferred” package. Hades stamps “DENIED” with a sigh that chills the air. ❄️🖋️
11:00 AM: Mediating Eternal Disputes ⚖️😤:
· Sisyphus: “My boulder is a clear workplace hazard. I demand ergonomic assessments and rolling benefits!” 🪨➡️🛠️
· The Furies: “We were written up for ‘excessive workplace enthusiasm’! It’s called ‘zealous pursuit of vengeance,’ it’s in our job description!” ❌🪓
· Hades: “I don’t have time for this. Sisyphus, your rock is fine. Furies, just… tone down the flaying before lunch.” 🤦♂️
1:00 PM: Lunch with Zeus ⚡🍽️: His brother “borrows” a dozen heroic souls for his latest “special project” (a.k.a. turning into a swan again). Sends a passive-aggressive invoice for “Soul Rental & Emotional Damages.” 💸🦢 Zeus pays him in thunderbolts and empty promises. 🌩️🙄
3:00 PM: 500-Year Performance Review 📊🧠: Meets with a soul whose file he misplaced in 452 BCE. The soul has been in a grey, formless waiting room since the Peloponnesian War. Hades gives him a “Sorry for the Inconvenience” voucher for 10% off his next incarnation. 🎫😅 The soul does not look impressed.
5:00 PM: Cerberus’s Walk & Paperwork 🐕🐕🐕📝: The three-headed good boy has chewed up the “Applications for Divine Intervention” again. One head is contrite, one head is proud, one head is still eating the paperwork. 🗑️📄 Hades just needs one day. Just one. Where someone doesn’t try to eat the rules of the afterlife.
6:30 PM: Logs Off 💀🚪: Turns off the flickering torches and heads to his private chambers. The only thing waiting for him is a mountain of scrolls for tomorrow’s soul-audit. He screams silently into a pillow. 😮💨🛏️
Caption: “My kingdom isn’t hell. It’s a soul-crushing, eternal, open-floor-plan office where the coffee is cold and the punishments are technically ‘corrective action plans.’” #UnderworldHR #EternalBureaucracy #SoulProcessing #HadesLife #ManagementFromHell #GreekMythology #OfficeOfTheDamned
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