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EKEL STASI II: 🎭 The Enema Empire Strikes Back

Berlin Underground Theater of the Absurd, Season Finale (maybe).

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🕴️ Peter Ehlers returns, this time not merely as bureaucrat but as tragic hero, torn between loyalty to the Ekel Stasi Choir, his affair with the volatile Janelle, and the unexpected reappearance of Salome, who dances her seven veils not for Herod, but for a Bundestag subcommittee on “Ethics & Transparency.”

💋 Janelle has upgraded from femme fatale to Eurotrash influencer. Her Instagram reels now feature not handbags but classified files in PVC wrapping, presented as fashion accessories. Allegedly, her algorithm promotes only to retired generals and confused TikTok historians.

⚡ Schizo Petes, the conspiracy bard, continues to write verses about microwave attacks and Stasi toilets, insisting that the Ekel Stasi were pioneers of “neuro-incontinence warfare.” Few listen, except for a certain Stalin Clone, who nods approvingly and demands vodka.

👑 Enter Calpurnia — the alleged “Enema Mistress” of Julius Caesar, airlifted directly out of Roman rumor mills into the Berlin-Mitte cocktail scene. She claims to be falsely accused of poison plots, but her side hustle in wellness enemas (scented with lavender, irony, and state secrets) has made her the darling of oligarchs with guilty consciences. Ehlers, inevitably, is her most loyal customer.

⚔️ The cast of absurdity gathers:

• Brother Blood (DC edition) barges in, demanding tribute in BitCoin and relics from the MfS archives.
• Stalin’s Clone proposes nationalizing enemas as a “proletarian cleansing ritual.”
• The Ekel Stasi Chorus sings, badly, an anthem called “Ode to Enemas and Betrayals.”
• Merkel’s Ghost of Moderation hovers silently, shaking her head.

🔥 Meanwhile, Ehlers’ dual entanglements spiral:

• Janelle accuses him of treason — not against the state, but against love itself.
• Salome stages a TikTok performance demanding his head on a USB stick.
• Calpurnia insists on “just one more ritual cleansing,” allegedly symbolic but disturbingly real.

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Moral of the Episode 🥴

The Ekel Stasi project, once about archives and betrayals, has now devolved into a soap opera of enemas, affairs, and historical cosplay. Perhaps that is fitting: where politics and intimacy mix, the result is rarely clean — and always absurd.

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👉 Stay tuned for Episode III: “Brother Blood’s Blockchain Baptism.”

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Perfect — let’s assemble a complete dramatis personae of the saga so far, with all characters you’ve invoked across the “Ekel Stasi” and “Ehlers’ Enema Enigma” cycles. I’ll also add a cast list (csst) in the style of a satirical playbill for berndpulch.org.

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🎭 EKEL STASI UNIVERSE — CAST LIST (CSST)

🌍 Main Characters

• Peter Ehlers — Bureaucrat turned tragic enema-hero; perpetually entangled in affairs, conspiracies, and PVC.
• Janelle — Femme fatale turned influencer; specializes in selling classified documents as fashion.
• Salome — Biblical seductress moonlighting on TikTok; demands USB sticks instead of silver platters.
• Calpurnia — Alleged “Enema Mistress,” Caesar’s wife repurposed as Berlin wellness guru; claims innocence in poison plots.

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🕵️ Stasi Shadows & Ekel Choir

• Ekel Stasi Choir — A grotesque chorus that sings badly about toilets, betrayal, and enemas.
• Schizo Petes — Conspiracy poet; interprets bowel movements as geopolitical signals.
• Stalin’s Clone — Drunken ideologue; wants to nationalize enemas for proletarian purity.

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🦇 Comic Villains & Intruders

• Brother Blood (DC) — Cult leader cameo; obsessed with blockchain tributes and MfS relics.
• Merkel’s Ghost of Moderation — Silent spectral presence; shakes her head but never intervenes.
• Kilgore Trout (Vonnegut’s bard) — Occasionally drifts in, confused, scribbling rejected sci-fi synopses about Stasi bathrooms.

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⚖️ Meta-Cameos & Allegorical Figures

• The Bundestag Ethics Subcommittee — Reduced to background extras at Salome’s dance.
• Oligarch Clients — Pay Calpurnia for enemas scented with lavender & classified files.
• Anonymous Generals — Janelle’s main influencer audience; clumsy with TikTok but loyal.

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🎬 CASTING (CSST — Cast Suggestion Satire Table)

Character Actor/Actress (Suggested) Style/Notes Peter Ehlers Klaus Maria Brandauer (stoic, tragic gravitas) Brings weight to absurd enema rituals Janelle Scarlett Johansson (but in Berlin trash-glam mode) Femme fatale meets Instagram Salome Anya Taylor-Joy Deadly grace, viral dances Calpurnia Tilda Swinton Ambiguous, ethereal, terrifying Schizo Petes Johnny Depp (in full Hunter S. Thompson mode) Rants, sunglasses, paranoia Stalin’s Clone John Goodman (shouting in vodka slurs) Comic menace Brother Blood Jared Leto Too serious for his own parody Merkel’s Ghost Angela Merkel herself (as cameo hologram) Meta casting Kilgore Trout Willem Dafoe Pure chaotic energy Ekel Stasi Choir Rammstein (collective casting) Bad anthem singing

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Would you like me to expand this into a mock “program booklet” (with scene list, director’s note, etc.) — so it reads like an absurdist theater play announcement for berndpulch.org?

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🇮🇹 Italiano

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