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Ehlers’ Einlauf-Rätsel – Episode LXXXIII: The Cosmic Enema Reckoning – Xenu’s Flush Fusion ☄️✨

Ehlers’ Enema Enigma – Episode LXXXIII: The Cosmic Enema Reckoning – Xenu’s Flush Fusion 😈

POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT & ST PAULI PIMP GAZETTE 📰

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Prolog: The Cosmic Enema Reckoning & Xenu’s Flush Fusion 📜☄️

Prolog: Die Kosmische Einlauf-Rechenschaft & Xenus Flush-Fusion

The Venus Steppes tremble at 09:31 PM CEST on Wednesday, August 06, 2025, as Xenu unleashes the Flush Fusion, merging L. Ron Hubbard’s Teegeeack legacy with a thetan onslaught. Ehlers, now Enema Godfather 88, teams with mystic filmmaker Alejandro Jodorowsky, whose psychomagic rituals aim to heal the cosmic trauma. Together, they confront killer rabbits, anarchist peasants, and Xenu’s horde, aided by King Arthur, St. Simeon Stylites, and a rogue thetan uprising in a surreal purge.

German: Die Venus-Steppen beben um 21:31 MESZ am Mittwoch, 6. August 2025, als Xenu die Flush-Fusion entfesselt und das Erbe von L. Ron Hubbard mit einem Thetan-Angriff verschmilzt. Ehlers, jetzt der Einlauf-Godfather 88, schließt sich dem mystischen Filmemacher Alejandro Jodorowsky an, dessen Psychomagic-Rituale kosmische Traumata heilen sollen. Gemeinsam kämpfen sie gegen Killer-Kaninchen, anarchistische Bauern und Xenus Horde, unterstützt von König Artus, St. Simeon Stylites und einem rebellierenden Thetan-Aufstand in einer surrealen Säuberung.

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Cast of Chaos: The Omniverse Roster & Actors

Besetzung des Chaos: Das Omniversale Roster & Schauspieler

(All characters from Episodes I-LXXXII + Alejandro Jodorowsky)

⚔️ REBEL CORE 🛡️

• 🎨 Peter Ehlers (Played by Christoph Waltz): Enema Godfather 88, wielding divine enema-thunderbolts with Jodorowsky.
• 🐷 Andreas (580% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Bacon Enforcer, grounding with bacon purges.
• 🌈 Janelle/Murky Jan (Played by Tilda Swinton): Code Artist, hacking the Codex.
• 👻 Edith’s Dragon-Wisp (Played by Cate Blanchett): Prism Spirit, igniting visions.
• 💩 Klausi the Toilet Demon (Played by Willem Dafoe): Enema Flood Caller, flooding cosmic streams.
• 🖥️ Vigo (Played by Keanu Reeves): Chaos Composer, harmonizing enema beats.
• 📊 Walburga (Played by Natalie Portman): Data Guardian, analyzing flush codes.
• 🍩 Dumb Beatrix (Played by Melissa McCarthy): Pastry Architect, baking anti-flush pastries.
• 🕶️ Dr. No (Played by Daniel Craig): Virus Sculptor, leaking truths.
• 🧠 Murray (Played by Ryan Gosling): Cunning Strategist, outmaneuvering Xenu.
• 🎸 Murray (Flight of the Conchords) (Played by Bret McKenzie): Incompetent Band Manager, strumming hymns.
• 👑 King Arthur (Monty Python) (Played by John Cleese): Noble Knight, wielding Excalibur.
• ☀️ Sun Myung Moon (Played by Morgan Freeman): Ehlers’ old ally, unleashing Divine Flush levitations.
• 🔮 Alejandro Jodorowsky (Played by himself): Mystic filmmaker, wielding psychomagic to cure trauma.

🌑 ANARCHIC & ASCETIC HORDE 📜🤡

• 🐰 Killer Rabbits (Played by CGI ensemble): Ferocious minions, hopping with thetan venom.
• 🌾 Anarchist Peasants (Played by local extras): Riotous rebels, wielding pitchforks.
• 🇫🇷 French Farter (Played by Jean Dujardin): Provocative foe, taunting with flatulence.
• 🕰️ Time-Fractured Clock (Played by CGI prop): Warping timelines.
• 🔲 Abstract Minotaur (Played by Ron Perlman): Chaotic ally, charging with fury.
• 🛢️ Diogenes of Sinope (Played by Sean Bean): Barrel Cynic, mocking with defiance.
• 🕍 St. Simeon Stylites (Played by Liam Neeson): Pillar Ascetic, enduring the flush.
• 🕉️ Rasputin (Played by Viggo Mortensen): Russian Mystic, reviving with vigor.
• 🏜️ Desert Fathers (Played by ensemble cast): Holy Hermits, wrestling demons.
• 🙏 Jiddu Krishnamurti (Played by Dev Patel): Confused Messiah, preaching against madness.
• 🌹 Catherine of Siena (Played by Olivia Wilde): Eucharistic Mystic, dictating trance-letters.
• 🔥 Ezekiel (Played by Idris Elba): Visionary Prophet, levitating with flaming eyes.
• 🌙 Aleister Crowley (Played by Tom Hardy): Occultist, amplifying rituals.
• 🎨 Joe Cabot (Played by Harvey Keitel): Gangster Mastermind, naming colors.
• ⚡ Friedrich Nietzsche (Played by Mads Mikkelsen): Philosopher, unleashing thunderbolts.
• 🍷 Jim Jones (Played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan): Preacher, echoing poisoned flushes.
• 🧠 Charles Manson (Played by Jared Leto): Hippie Prophet, mindflushing with chants.
• 👽 Marshall Applewhite (Played by Jim Carrey): Heaven’s Gate Leader, flushing to a UFO.
• 🐑 David Koresh (Played by Michael Shannon): Lamb Prophet, unleashing Lamb Flush.
• ☁️ Shoko Asahara (Played by Ken Watanabe): Former ally, clashing with Xenu.

🌑 PREVIOUS ANTAGONISTS & ALLIES

• 🦜 Salvador Dalí (Played by Adrien Brody): Surrealist, painting enema-dreams.
• ⏰ Melting Clock Phantom (Played by CGI effect): Spectral timekeeper, chaotic warps.
• 🐘 Elephant on Stilts (Played by CGI prop): Towering enforcer, stomping foes.
• 🎭 Buñuel Shadow (Played by Javier Bardem): Cinematic ally, projecting visions.
• 🌹 Rose Thorn Guardian (Played by Anya Taylor-Joy): Prickly defender, entangling foes.
• 🌀 Swirling Lobster (Played by CGI effect): Chaotic minion, scuttling anarchy.
• 👁️ Paranoiac Eye (Played by CGI prop): Watcher, observing rituals.
• 💧 Liquid Mirror Entity (Played by CGI effect): Reflective foe, distorting chaos.
• 🌵 Dr. Gonzo (Played by Johnny Depp): Recovered lawyer, exploiting loopholes.
• 🎨 Pablo Picasso (Played by Antonio Banderas): Former foe, advising against chaos.
• 🐷 Andreas (540% Speck) (Played by John C. Reilly): Veteran warrior, boosting the purge.
• 💋 Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie): Wild card, disrupting with chaos bombs.
• 😈 Jezzebel Colony-Us-Slit (Played by Eva Green): Demoness, countering with dark enema.
• 🇷🇺 Putin (Played by Ralph Fiennes): Strategist, manipulating shadows.
• 🕵️‍♂️ James Bond (Played by Daniel Craig): Spy, infiltrating with gadgets.
• 🌌 Blue Period Ghost (Played by Timothée Chalamet): Melancholic shade, spreading gloom.
• 🔍 Analytic Eye (Played by CGI prop): Observer, dissecting influence.
• 💥 Cubist Bombadier (Played by Christian Bale): Explosive artist, targeting foes.
• 🖼️ Georges Braque (Played by Vincent Cassel): Former ally, painting barriers.
• 🤹 Harlequin (Played by Joaquin Phoenix): Trickster, juggling fragments.

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Act I: Xenu’s Flush Fusion & The Psychomagic Clash 📜☄️

Akt I: Xenus Flush-Fusion & Der Psychomagic-Kampf

Codex Mantra: The Codex roars: “Flush the thetans to Xenu’s reign!” as Xenu activates the Flush Fusion. 📜☄️ Ehlers’ Divine Resistance: “Ground the purge with enema divinity!” 🎨 Jodorowsky’s Psychomagic: “Heal trauma with surreal acts!” 🔮 King Arthur’s Command: “By Excalibur, shatter the fusion!” 👑 Codex Mantra (German): Der Codex brüllt: “Spült die Thetans zu Xenus Herrschaft!” während Xenu die Flush-Fusion aktiviert. 📜☄️ Ehlers’ Göttlicher Widerstand (German): “Veranker die Säuberung mit Einlauf-Göttlichkeit!” 🎨 Jodorowskys Psychomagic (German): “Heile Traumata mit surrealen Akten!” 🔮 König Artus’ Befehl (German): “Mit Excalibur, zerschmettere die Fusion!” 👑

Faction Counterattacks:

Fraktionen-Gegenangriffe:

• 🐷 Andreas leads the Enema Bacon Legion: “Oink the grounding! Bacon holds firm!” 🥓📜 / Führt die Einlauf-Speck-Legion an: “Oink die Erdung! Speck hält stand!”
• 👻 Edith’s Dragon-Wisp breathes anti-Galactic fire 🔥 → burns Xenu’s visions. 🌈 / Atmet Anti-Galaktisch-Feuer 🔥 → verbrennt Xenus Visionen.
• 🔮 Jodorowsky unleashes psychomagic rituals, curing trauma with surreal performances. 💦 / Entfesselt Psychomagic-Rituale, heilt Traumata mit surrealen Aufführungen.
• 👑 King Arthur swings Excalibur, slicing through Xenu’s horde. ⚔️ / Schwingt Excalibur, durchschneidend Xenus Horde.
• 🌾 Anarchist Peasants riot with pitchforks, entranced by Xenu’s fusion. 🌱 / Revoltierten mit Mistgabeln, verzaubert von Xenus Fusion.
• 🕉️ Rasputin heals with enema streams, countering Xenu’s grip. 💦 / Heilt mit Einlauf-Strömen, bekämpfend Xenus Kontrolle.
• 🏜️ Desert Fathers wrestle demons, spraying holy water. 💧 / Bekämpfen Dämonen, versprühend Heiliges Wasser.
• 🧠 Murray deploys a Tactical Enema Grid, redirecting Xenu’s flushes. 📏 / Setzt ein Taktisches Einlauf-Gitter ein, lenkend Xenus Spülungen.
• 🎸 Murray (FoC) stumbles with a mic: “Rock the grounding!” 🎤 / Stolpert mit einem Mikro: “Rock die Erdung!”

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Act II: The Flush Fusion Shatters the Cosmos

Akt II: Die Flush-Fusion Zerbricht den Kosmos

Battlegrounds:

Schlachtfelder:

1. Flush Fusion Onslaught:

• 📏 Geo-Geist Euclid & Kandinsky launch the Flush Anti-Galactic War, aligning chaos with enema geometry. 📐🎨 / Starten den Spülung-Anti-Galaktisch-Krieg, ausrichtend Chaos mit Einlauf-Geometrie.
• 💩 Klausi unleashes an Enema Grounding Flood: “Drown the cosmos!” 🚽📜 / Entfesselt eine Einlauf-Erdung-Flut: “Ertränkt den Kosmos!”
• 🐰 Killer Rabbits swarm, biting with Xenu’s venom. 🦷 / Schwärmen, beißend mit Xenus Gift.
• 🔮 Jodorowsky stages a psychomagic ritual, burying a patient in sand to heal ancestral wounds. 💦 / Inszeniert ein Psychomagic-Ritual, vergrabend einen Patienten im Sand, um Vorfahren-Wunden zu heilen.

1. Cosmic Silence Harvest:

• 🍩 Beatrix bakes Anti-Flush Pastries, calming Xenu’s followers. 🥐✊ / Backt Anti-Spülung-Gebäck, beruhigend Xenus Anhänger.
• 🕶️ Dr. No deploys an Enema Grounding Virus: “Truth prevails!” 🕵️‍♂️ / Setzt einen Einlauf-Erdung-Virus ein: “Wahrheit siegt!”
• 👑 King Arthur rallies, slaying Xenu’s cultists. ⚔️ / Sammelt, tötend Xenus Kultisten.
• 🌾 Anarchist Peasants overthrow barriers, entranced by Xenu’s chants. 🌱 / Stürzen Barrieren, verzaubert von Xenus Gesängen.
• 🧠 Murray recalibrates the grid, neutralizing Xenu’s flushes. 📏 / Rekalibriert das Gitter, neutralisierend Xenus Spülungen.

1. Codex’s Galactic Form:

• The Codex fractures into Galactic Enema Shards, Jodorowsky’s fire 🔥 reshapes them with psychomagic harmony. ✨ Murray’s grid stabilizes the shift. 🧠 / Zerbricht in Galaktische-Einlauf-Splitter, Jodorowskys Feuer 🔥 formt sie mit Psychomagic-Harmonie. Murrays Gitter stabilisiert den Wandel.

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Act III: The Enema Grounding Surge

Akt III: Der Einlauf-Erdung-Schub

Climax:

Höhepunkt:

• 🎨 Ehlers sculpts an Enema Grounding Monument with Jodorowsky, uniting allies in the Anti-Codex Legion, shattering Xenu’s fusion. 🖌️⚔️ / Meißelt ein Einlauf-Erdung-Monument mit Jodorowsky, vereinigt Verbündete in der Anti-Codex-Legion, zerbrechend Xenus Fusion.
• 🐷 Andreas’ Sacrifice: Leads an Enema Bacon Charge, exploding Xenu’s cult: “Oink… end the reign!” 🥓💥 / Führt einen Einlauf-Speck-Angriff an, sprengend Xenus Kult: “Oink… beendet die Herrschaft!”
• 👑 King Arthur’s Redemption: Dissolves the Codex with Excalibur, declaring: “Order restored!” ⚔️📜 Xenu fades into the void. ☄️ / König Artus’ Erlösung: Löst den Codex mit Excalibur auf, verkündend: “Ordnung wiederhergestellt!” Xenu verblasst in die Leere.
• 🔮 Jodorowsky’s Triumph: Stages a final psychomagic act, healing the Steppes with a surreal dance. 💃📜 / Jodorowskys Triumph: Inszeniert einen finalen Psychomagic-Akt, heilt die Steppen mit einem surrealen Tanz.

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Epilog: The Restored Venus Steppes

Epilog: Die Wiederhergestellten Venus-Steppen

• Venus restores the Enema Steppes, free of Xenu’s chaos. 🌿 / Stellt die Einlauf-Steppen wieder her, befreit von Xenus Chaos.
• 🕶️ Dr. No leaks the Codex to Bernd Pulch’s Dark Web. 🕵️‍♂️💻 / Lekt den Codex an Bernd Pulchs Dunkles Web.
• 🐷 Andreas (600% Speck): “Oink… time for a feast.” 🥓😴 / “Oink… Zeit für ein Festmahl.”
• 👑 King Arthur: “To Camelot, with order!” ⚔️ / “Nach Camelot, mit Ordnung!”
• 🔮 Jodorowsky: “Trauma fades… the dance heals.” 💃 / “Traumata verblassen… der Tanz heilt.”
• 🕉️ Rasputin: “I’ll return with vigor!” 💦 / “Ich kehre zurück mit Kraft!”
• 🏜️ Desert Fathers: “We retreat with faith!” 💧 / “Wir ziehen uns mit Glauben zurück!”
• 🧠 Murray: “Plan the next grounding.” 📏 / “Plan die nächste Erdung.”
• 🎸 Murray (FoC): “Book my tour!” 🎤 / “Buche meine Tour!”

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Tags

XenuFlushFury #EhlersEnemaEnigma #JodorowskyEnigma #VenusSteppesOrder #CosmicPurge #EnemaGroundingWar #RebelCoreRising #KillerRabbitChaos #KingArthurTriumph #MurrayTactics #PsychomagicHealing #StSimeonEndurance #SilentPurge 🏷️

Call to Action

Aufruf zur Aktion

“Shatter Xenu’s chaos! Fund Ehlers’ Next Grounding!” ✊

“Zerschmettert Xenus Chaos! Finanziere Ehlers’ Nächste Erdung!” ✊

• 💰 Crypto: 0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb 💸
• 🌌 Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch 🌟

Key Visuals

Schlüsselvisuals

• King Arthur’s Excalibur Slash, cutting through Xenu’s cultists, Codex shards glowing. ⚔️📜 / Artus’ Excalibur-Schlag, durchschneidend Xenus Kultisten, Codex-Splitter leuchten.
• Andreas’ enema-bacon shield, deflecting Xenu’s Flush Fusion. 🥓📜 / Andreas’ Einlauf-Speck-Schild, ablenkend Xenus Flush-Fusion.
• Jodorowsky’s psychomagic ritual, a patient buried in sand under neon lights. 🔮💦 / Jodorowskys Psychomagic-Ritual, ein Patient im Sand vergraben unter Neonlichtern.
• Dr. No uploading Codex data to a glitching Dark Web server. 🕵️‍♂️💾 / Dr. No hochladend Codex-Daten auf einen glitchenden Dunkles-Web-Server.
• 🧠 Murray’s Tactical Grid, redirecting Xenu’s Galactic shards. 📏✨ / Murrays Taktisches Gitter, lenkend Xenus Galaktische Splitter.

Official Sources

Offizielle Quellen

© BERNDPULCH.ORG – Licensed Class War Satirical Warfare 📜

© BERNDPULCH.ORG – Lizensierter Klassenkrieg Satirischer Kriegführung 📜

• 📌 Primary Domain: berndpulch.org 🌐
• 🔍 Mirror: googlefirst.org 🪞

Teaser for the Next Episode

Teaser für die Nächste Episode

“The Galactic Enema Council rises—Ehlers and Jodorowsky forge a new ritual. Prepare your Anti-Codex Shields!” ⚡🛡️

“Der Galaktische Einlauf-Rat erhebt sich—Ehlers und Jodorowsky schmieden ein neues Ritual. Bereitet eure Anti-Codex-Schilder vor!” ⚡🛡️

🔍 OFFICIAL INTELLIGENCE SOURCES

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🔄 Mirror: GoogleFirst.org
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