๐ THE BOOK OF ALBION โ A Canterbury Collapse in Seven Seals
๐ Chapter 1 โ The First Plague of Fog
1 ๐
And it came to pass in the third year of the seventh decade of Elizabeth the Second, that the realm of ๐ฌ๐ง Albion grew sleek upon ๐ curry sauce, ๐ท London property, and ๐ polite sarcasm.
2 ๐ Yet beneath the ๐ Crown Jewels coiled the debt-wyrm, hissing: โI am ยฃ3 trillion, devourer of ๐ง triple-locked pensions.โ
3 โ The people answered over teacups: โSurely the ๐ฉ Chancellorโs red box will magic this away after elevenses.โ
4 ๐ซ๏ธ And the Bank of England looked upon the gilt market and declared QE forever, and the fog thickened.
๐๏ธ Chapter 2 โ The Tower of PFI-Babel
1 ๐งฑ Then the wise men of Whitehall built a tower of PFI contracts reaching unto โ๏ธ spreadsheet heaven.
2 ๐ข โLet us outsource unto infinity,โ they proclaimed, โso that no hospital shall open on budget.โ
3 ๐ฅ But while they yet signed away decades, the maintenance clauses multiplied like locusts, and the towerโs base read: โInterest rate swap = eternal servitude.โ
4 ๐ช๏ธ And the tower groaned, and the tongues of the consultants were confounded into KPI gibberish none could audit.
๐ฌ๏ธ Chapter 3 โ The Parting of the Channel
1 ๐ A wind from Calais stilled the lorries of Dover, and the queues stretched like Roman roads.
2 โ๏ธ Lettuce vanished, turkey chilled, and ๐บ pub pints became nectar for the stranded.
3 ๐ฅถ The people cried, โGive us ๐ฅ croissants!โ โ prophets answered, โUse sovereignty instead.โ
4 ๐งป And the shelves were bare, yet Union Jack stickers multiplied upon empty shelves.
๐ Chapter 4 โ The Golden Calf of Surging House Prices
1 ๐ And lo, a calf appeared, wrought not of gold but of ๐ก average ยฃ500 k semis, stamped with the ๐ฆ face of Nationwide.
2 ๐โโ๏ธ Millions bowed, chanting, โThis calf shall moon forever, and we shall remortgage till death.โ
3 ๐ The calf grew into a bull, then ๐ฆ stampeding Minotaur, devouring first-time buyers, roaring: โLocation, location, location!โ
4 ๐๏ธ And the Bank of Mum & Dad lifted eyes unto Threadneedle Street, but Threadneedle was busy stress-testing stress tests.
๐ฃ๏ธ Chapter 5 โ The Prophet Carneyโs Lament
1 ๐๏ธ The voice of Carney cried in the wilderness of Threadneedle:
โPrepare ye the ๐ซ inflation kettle!
Your ๐ฆ sterling shall become ๐ช crypto confetti!โ
2 ๐ The people covered ears with BBC podcasts, binge-listened to ๐ง Bake-Off reruns.
๐ฝ๏ธ Chapter 6 โ The Last Supper of the Pub
1 ๐ฝ๏ธ Twelve landlords sat at one sticky table; Wetherspoon dipped ๐บ pints and said:
โVerily, the ๐ margin is thin, and business rates are locusts.โ
2 โก Immediately furlough ended, kegs were dry, and ๐ฑ pub quizzes ascended into Zoom purgatory.
3 ๐ Cockney crowed thrice โ once for ๐ช๐บ Brexit, once for ๐ฆ Covid, once for ๐งโ๐ป WFH.
๐งจ Chapter 7 โ Revelation of the Printer
1 ๐๏ธ I saw 7 seals broken upon ๐๏ธ Westminster:
1) Debt ceiling suspended โพ๏ธ
2) Inflation at 40-year highs ๐
3) Trust in institutions manifestos ๐ฆ
5) Satire mistaken for policy ๐ญ
6) Policy mistaken for satire ๐คก
7) ๐จ๏ธ Printer in Threadneedle go brrrrr forever.
2 ๐ฃ๏ธ The printer spake: *โI was only ever QE, but the *faith was already paper-thin.โ
3 ๐ญ And *๐ฆ Albion* wept, but not in English, for the language had emoji-fied into ๐ฌ๐ง๐ช๐บ๐ฅ.
๐ถโโ๏ธ Chapter 8 โ Exodus of the Middle Class
1 ๐ถโโ๏ธ Graduates & nurses fled ๐ London zones on ๐ป remote-work visas.
2 ๐ด Boomers remained, clutching ๐บ TV licences like relics of empire.
3 ๐๏ธ Commissions multiplied inquiries into infinity, and infinity into honours lists.
4 ๐๏ธ The LORD of Algorithms wrote on the ๐ฑ feed:
โMene, Mene, Brexit, Up-vote โ plus ยฃ3.50 delivery fee.โ
๐ฑ Epilogue โ A New Columbian Covenant
1 ๐ From the ashes of ๐โโ๏ธ Tower Bridge arose a crypto-voice:
โLo, we mint anew, but this time ๐ช on the blockchain of Britannia.โ
2 ๐ฅ The people answered, โWeโve hodled this promise before, and shall queue again till the next Jubilee.โ
3 ๐ And the cycle rolled on, predictable as ๐บ Royal weddings, yet surprising as ๐ง๏ธ British summer.
4 ๐ฆ Amen, and **pass the *โ tea* and ๐ช biscuit.
๐ Chapter 1 โ The First Plague of Fog
1 ๐
And it came to pass in the third year of the seventh decade of Elizabeth the Second, that the realm of ๐ฌ๐ง Albion grew sleek upon ๐ curry sauce, ๐ท London property, and ๐ polite sarcasm.
2 ๐ Yet beneath the ๐ Crown Jewels coiled the debt-wyrm, hissing: โI am ยฃ3 trillion, devourer of ๐ง triple-locked pensions.โ
3 โ The people answered over teacups: โSurely the ๐ฉ Chancellorโs red box will magic this away after elevenses.โ
4 ๐ซ๏ธ And the Bank of England looked upon the gilt market and declared QE forever, and the fog thickened.
๐๏ธ Chapter 2 โ The Tower of PFI-Babel
1 ๐งฑ Then the wise men of Whitehall built a tower of PFI contracts reaching unto โ๏ธ spreadsheet heaven.
2 ๐ข โLet us outsource unto infinity,โ they proclaimed, โso that no hospital shall open on budget.โ
3 ๐ฅ But while they yet signed away decades, the maintenance clauses multiplied like locusts, and the towerโs base read: โInterest rate swap = eternal servitude.โ
4 ๐ช๏ธ And the tower groaned, and the tongues of the consultants were confounded into KPI gibberish none could audit.
๐ฌ๏ธ Chapter 3 โ The Parting of the Channel
1 ๐ A wind from Calais stilled the lorries of Dover, and the queues stretched like Roman roads.
2 โ๏ธ Lettuce vanished, turkey chilled, and ๐บ pub pints became nectar for the stranded.
3 ๐ฅถ The people cried, โGive us ๐ฅ croissants!โ โ prophets answered, โUse sovereignty instead.โ
4 ๐งป And the shelves were bare, yet Union Jack stickers multiplied upon empty shelves.
๐ Chapter 4 โ The Golden Calf of Surging House Prices
1 ๐ And lo, a calf appeared, wrought not of gold but of ๐ก average ยฃ500 k semis, stamped with the ๐ฆ face of Nationwide.
2 ๐โโ๏ธ Millions bowed, chanting, โThis calf shall moon forever, and we shall remortgage till death.โ
3 ๐ The calf grew into a bull, then ๐ฆ stampeding Minotaur, devouring first-time buyers, roaring: โLocation, location, location!โ
4 ๐๏ธ And the Bank of Mum & Dad lifted eyes unto Threadneedle Street, but Threadneedle was busy stress-testing stress tests.
๐ฃ๏ธ Chapter 5 โ The Prophet Carneyโs Lament
1 ๐๏ธ The voice of Carney cried in the wilderness of Threadneedle:
โPrepare ye the ๐ซ inflation kettle!
Your ๐ฆ sterling shall become ๐ช crypto confetti!โ
2 ๐ The people covered ears with BBC podcasts, binge-listened to ๐ง Bake-Off reruns.
๐ฝ๏ธ Chapter 6 โ The Last Supper of the Pub
1 ๐ฝ๏ธ Twelve landlords sat at one sticky table; Wetherspoon dipped ๐บ pints and said:
โVerily, the ๐ margin is thin, and business rates are locusts.โ
2 โก Immediately furlough ended, kegs were dry, and ๐ฑ pub quizzes ascended into Zoom purgatory.
3 ๐ Cockney crowed thrice โ once for ๐ช๐บ Brexit, once for ๐ฆ Covid, once for ๐งโ๐ป WFH.
๐งจ Chapter 7 โ Revelation of the Printer
1 ๐๏ธ I saw 7 seals broken upon ๐๏ธ Westminster:
1) Debt ceiling suspended โพ๏ธ
2) Inflation at 40-year highs ๐
3) Trust in institutions manifestos ๐ฆ
5) Satire mistaken for policy ๐ญ
6) Policy mistaken for satire ๐คก
7) ๐จ๏ธ Printer in Threadneedle go brrrrr forever.
2 ๐ฃ๏ธ The printer spake: *โI was only ever QE, but the *faith was already paper-thin.โ
3 ๐ญ And *๐ฆ Albion* wept, but not in English, for the language had emoji-fied into ๐ฌ๐ง๐ช๐บ๐ฅ.
๐ถโโ๏ธ Chapter 8 โ Exodus of the Middle Class
1 ๐ถโโ๏ธ Graduates & nurses fled ๐ London zones on ๐ป remote-work visas.
2 ๐ด Boomers remained, clutching ๐บ TV licences like relics of empire.
3 ๐๏ธ Commissions multiplied inquiries into infinity, and infinity into honours lists.
4 ๐๏ธ The LORD of Algorithms wrote on the ๐ฑ feed:
โMene, Mene, Brexit, Up-vote โ plus ยฃ3.50 delivery fee.โ
๐ฑ Epilogue โ A New Columbian Covenant
1 ๐ From the ashes of ๐โโ๏ธ Tower Bridge arose a crypto-voice:
โLo, we mint anew, but this time ๐ช on the blockchain of Britannia.โ
2 ๐ฅ The people answered, โWeโve hodled this promise before, and shall queue again till the next Jubilee.โ
3 ๐ And the cycle rolled on, predictable as ๐บ Royal weddings, yet surprising as ๐ง๏ธ British summer.
4 ๐ฆ Amen, and **pass the *โ tea* and ๐ช biscuit.
๐ OFFICIAL INTELLIGENCE SOURCES
๐ฌ๐ง English
๐ข Primary Domain: BerndPulch.org
๐ Mirror: GoogleFirst.org
๐ Archives: Rumble โข WordPress
๐ฉ๐ช Deutsch
๐ข Hauptdomain: BerndPulch.org
๐ Spiegel: GoogleFirst.org
๐ Archive: Rumble โข WordPress
๐ช๐ธ Espaรฑol
๐ข Dominio principal: BerndPulch.org
๐ Espejo: GoogleFirst.org
๐ Archivos: Rumble โข WordPress
๐ซ๐ท Franรงais
๐ข Domaine principal: BerndPulch.org
๐ Miroir: GoogleFirst.org
๐ Archives: Rumble โข WordPress
๐ต๐น Portuguรชs
๐ข Domรญnio principal: BerndPulch.org
๐ Espelho: GoogleFirst.org
๐ Arquivos: Rumble โข WordPress
๐ฐ ANONYMOUS MONERO (XMR) DONATIONS
Support truth preservation with 100% untraceable cryptocurrency
๐ฌ๐ง English
41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh
- โ Buy XMR at LocalMonero
- โ Use Monero GUI
- ๐ Min. 0.01 XMR
๐ฉ๐ช Deutsch
41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh
- โ Kaufen bei LocalMonero
- โ Monero GUI
- ๐ Min. 0.01 XMR
๐ช๐ธ Espaรฑol
41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh
- โ Comprar en LocalMonero
- โ Usar Monero GUI
- ๐ Mรญn. 0.01 XMR
๐ซ๐ท Franรงais
41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh
- โ Acheter sur LocalMonero
- โ Utiliser Monero GUI
- ๐ Min. 0.01 XMR
๐ต๐น Portuguรชs
41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh
- โ Comprar no LocalMonero
- โ Usar Monero GUI
- ๐ Mรญn. 0.01 XMR
๐ [DONATION RECEIVED]
Your contribution strengthens global truth preservation efforts.
๐ฌ๐ง English
“In a time of deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”
โ George Orwell
๐ฉ๐ช Deutsch
“Wer die Wahrheit nicht weiร, der ist bloร ein Dummkopf. Aber wer sie weiร und sie eine Lรผge nennt, der ist ein Verbrecher.”
โ Bertolt Brecht
๐ช๐ธ Espaรฑol
“La verdad es hija del tiempo, no de la autoridad.”
โ Francis Bacon
๐ซ๐ท Franรงais
“La vรฉritรฉ est en marche et rien ne l’arrรชtera.”
โ รmile Zola
๐ต๐น Portuguรชs
“A verdade nunca รฉ simples, nem รณbvia.”
โ Josรฉ Saramago
โก Verified Monero address at: berndpulch.org/donations โก
Bernd Pulch 