“The Bernd Pulch Top 100 Most Scandalous & Hilarious Humans in History”✌

Bernd Pulch ART, BERND PULCH, CLOWN SHOW, COMEDY, ENTERTAINMENT, PARODY, SATIRE August 1, 2025August 1, 2025 4 Minutes

**🔥🏆 “THE UNHINGED HALL OF FAME: 100 LEGENDS WHO PROVED RULES ARE FOR LOSERS”**
**🎭 BEHIND THE GILDED CURTAIN:**
Trump & Kim Jong-Un arm-wrestling over a **McDonald’s globe**
Prince Andrew sweating on **Epstein’s burning black book**
Caligula feeding his **horse senator** Gucci-branded oats
Elizabeth Holmes injecting a Wall Street bull with **fake blood tests**
**💎 WHY THIS MATTERS:**
Because history isn’t written by the victors—it’s written by **whoever survived the most ridiculous scandals.**
**👇 SWIPE TO SEE:**
→ Who made **Top 10**? (Spoiler: **Berlusconi invented modern chaos**)
→ The **most meme-worthy** meltdowns
→ Who’s **STILL getting away with it?**
**🔮 TAP IN:**
💎 **XMR:** `[41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh Monero Address]` *(Funds more scandal research)*
👑 **PATREON:** patreon.com/berndpulch *(Full 100-200 ranking)*
**#ScandalRoyalty #HistorysGreatestHustlers #ChaosTheory #NoRulesJustVibes #EpsteinConnected #DictatorFashion #CancelProof #PatreonExclusive #GlitchInTheMatrix**
*(Tags: Corruption rankings, Political satire, Unhinged leaders, Meme history, Power fails, Cancel culture, Untouchable elites, Dark humor, Pop culture, Why is this real)*

**🎨 ALT-TEXT:** “Cinematic collage of history’s most scandalous figures partying in a neon Versailles. Trump and Kim Jong-Un fight over a globe, Prince Andrew sweats on burning documents, Caligula’s horse wears a senator badge. Hyper-detailed oil painting style with glitch effects.”
**💬 COMMENT:** *“Who’s missing? Tag them below—we’ll investigate!”* 👇
*(Disclaimer: This post may disappear faster than Epstein’s security tapes.)*

TIER 1: LEGENDS WHO INVENTED CHAOS

Caligula – Made his horse a senator, declared war on Neptune
Grigori Rasputin – Survived poison/stabbing/gunshots before finally drowning (allegedly)
Madame de Pompadour – Bankrupted France for shoes, inspired “Let them eat cake”
Silvio Berlusconi – “Bunga bunga” parties, owned Italy like a mob boss
Boris Yeltsin – Drunkenly tried to order pizza from the Kremlin

TIER 2: MODERN CLOWNS

Donald Trump – Classified docs in gold toilet, hush money to porn stars
Boris Johnson – Got stuck on zipline waving UK flags, hid in fridge to avoid press
Kim Jong-Un – Executed officials with anti-aircraft guns, loves Disney
Jair Bolsonaro – Told woman she was “too ugly to rape,” COVID denial king
George Santos – Faked Holocaust survival, invented MIT volleyball career

TIER 3: ROYAL DISASTERS

Prince Andrew – “Pizza Express” alibi, sweatless Epstein sleepovers
Marie Antoinette – Built fake peasant village to play poor
Edward VIII – Nazi-sympathizing abdication drama
King Farouk – Stole Winston Churchill’s pocket watch
Princess Margaret – Drank 30+ cocktails daily, dated mafia

TIER 4: CORRUPTION OLYMPIANS

Rodrigo Duterte – Admitted killing people “for fun” as mayor
Nicolae Ceaușescu – Built palace with 1,000 rooms while people starved
Imelda Marcos – 3,000 pairs of shoes, $5B stolen
Saddam Hussein – Wrote romance novels, had gold AKs
Mobutu Sese Seko – $5M private Concorde trips to buy champagne

TIER 5: ACCIDENTAL COMEDIANS

Elon Musk – Smoked weed on Joe Rogan, bought Twitter as “joke”
Kanye West – “Slavery was a choice,” married into Kardashians
Lindsay Lohan – Fake accent phase, Dubai jail saga
Charlie Sheen – “Tiger blood,” warlock era
Silvio Berlusconi (again) – Because he deserves two spots

[TIERS 6-10 HIGHLIGHTS]

#26-35: Epstein’s Black Book All-Stars (Clinton, Prince Andrew, etc.)
#36-45: Failed Revolutionaries (Che Guevara merch irony)
#46-55: Corporate Villains (Elizabeth Holmes, Martin Shkreli)
#56-65: Reality TV War Criminals (All Kardashians)
#66-75: Historical WTF (Vlad Tepes, Marquis de Sade)
#76-85: Modern Grifters (Andrew Tate, Anna Delvey)
#86-95: Bizarre Leaders (Gaddafi’s female guards, Turkmenbashi’s golden statue)
#96-100: Wildcards (Tila Tequila’s Nazi phase, Chris Chan)

FULL RANKING:
👉 patreon.com/berndpulch (Tier 3+ gets the classified 100-200 list)

#ChaosRanking #HistorysGreatestHustlers #ClownWorldLeaders #BerlusconiWasRight #SendMoneroForMore

(Methodology: 50% scandal value, 30% meme potential, 20% “how did they get away with this?” factor. Scientifically dubious but extremely entertaining.)

🔍 BERND PULCH’S CHAOS INDEX: METHODOLOGY EXPLAINED (Because Madness Demands Metrics)

📊 SCORING CRITERIA (100-POINT SYSTEM)

AUDACITY (0-30pts)

“Did they do it with a straight face?”
Example: Trump selling $99 Bibles (+25)
Benchmark: Caligula’s horse consul (+30)

SCANDAL SCALE (0-25pts)

“How many lives/countries did they ruin?”
Example: Elizabeth Holmes’ Theranos (+15)
Benchmark: Leopold II of Belgium (+25)

MEME POTENTIAL (0-20pts)

“Does it spawn infinite Twitter threads?”
Example: Boris Johnson stuck on zipline (+18)
Benchmark: Kanye’s “George Bush hates Black people” (+20)

LONGEVITY (0-15pts)

“Years spent trolling humanity”
Example: Berlusconi’s 30-year clown era (+12)
Benchmark: Rasputin’s “won’t die” saga (+15)

STYLE POINTS (0-10pts)

“Flair while failing upward”
Example: Duterte’s “kill drug users” karaoke video (+8)
Benchmark: Gaddafi’s Bedouin tent at UN (+10)

⚖️ DISQUALIFICATIONS

❌ Too Competent (e.g., Putin’s boring oppression)
❌ Too Tragic (e.g., Hitler removed for lacking humor)
❌ Unverified (e.g., “Elvis is alive” claims)

🧮 FINAL FORMULA

Total Score = (Audacity × 1.5) + (Scandal Scale) + (Meme Potential × 0.8) + (Longevity) + (Style Points)

Adjusted for:

Era Bonus: Pre-internet scandals get +5pts (harder to go viral)
Irony Penalty: -3pts if they became what they hated (e.g., revolutionaries turned dictators)

📜 CASE STUDY: PRINCE ANDREW

Audacity: 28/30 (“Pizza Express” alibi)
Scandal Scale: 22/25 (Epstein, underage girls)
Meme Potential: 19/20 (“Sweatless” memes)
Longevity: 8/15 (30yrs of failure)
Style Points: 6/10 (Navy uniform at BBC interview)
TOTAL: 89/100 (Top 15 Material)

💡 WHY THIS MATTERS:
“In a world of manufactured outrage, we quantify true absurdity.”

#ChaosScience #Trollonomics #PulchIndex #SendYourCandidates

(Full dataset available for Patreon Tier 4+. Warning: May cause existential crisis.)

🔍 OFFICIAL INTELLIGENCE SOURCES

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