Welcome to Silicon Hell: Where Tech Billionaires Get the UX They Deserve✌

Bernd Pulch ART, BERND PULCH, CLOWN SHOW, COMEDY, ENTERTAINMENT, PARODY, SATIRE July 22, 2025July 22, 2025 3 Minutes

**🔥 CAPTIONS FOR SILICON HELL MASTERPIECE 🔥**
**1. BOARDROOM FROM HELL:**
*“Welcome to the Tech Billionaire Afterparty – where the open bar serves liquid regret and the equity never vests.”*
**2. FAILED IPO VIBES:**
*“POV: You took your startup public at a $69B valuation… in hell bucks.”*
**3. METAVERSE NIGHTMARE:**
*“Zuck’s vision finally achieved: An eternity of awkward VR meetings with demon coworkers.”*
**4. VC SPECIAL:**
*“Turns out ‘disruptive innovation’ was just Satan’s internship program all along.”*
**5. CRYPTO HELL:**
*“Even in damnation, they’re still shilling shitcoins. The punishment truly fits the crimes.”*
**6. AI OVERLORDS:**
*”ChatGPT’s final update: ‘As an AI, I now own your soul. Please remain calm while I optimize your suffering.'”
**7. ENGAGEMENT BAIT:**
*“Like and share before this gets memory-holed by hell’s content moderators!”*
**8. WHISTLEBLOWER EDITION:**
*“Internal documents prove: The real burn rate was your morality all along.”*
**9. FOUNDER CONFESSIONAL:**
*“‘We were so preoccupied with whether we could, we didn’t stop to think if we should’ – Last words before the demo day pitch from hell.”*
**10. DISCLAIMER:**
*“This is a work of satire. Any resemblance to actual tech CEOs being damned for eternity is purely coincidental. Probably.”*
**🔥 BONUS HASHTAGS:**
DevilsAdvocateLiteral #HadesHR #LiquidityEternal #TechBroInferno #BurningManButForever
Want me to make these:
[ ] More savage
[ ] More legally deniable
[ ] Funnier but still SEO-friendly
[ ] Tailored to a specific

— A Modern Inferno for the Algorithmically Damned —

🔥 LEVEL 1: The Eternal Loading Screen

Elon Musk: “Why is my rocket taking so long to—”
Devil’s IT Support: “Your soul is buffering. Please remain in the queue. Estimated wait time: ∞ years.”

💸 LEVEL 2: The Subscription Trap

Mark Zuckerberg: “How do I leave?”
Demon UX Designer: *”You can’t. This is a *lifetime membership*—literally. Also, auto-renew is *mandatory.”

📉 LEVEL 3: The Infinite Downround

Jeff Bezos: “I demand to speak to your manager!”
Satan (CEO of Hell Ventures): *”I am the manager. Also, your net worth just got *rekt* by hell’s inflation rate (100,000%).”*

🤖 LEVEL 4: AI Moderator Jail

Sam Altman: “Why is ChatGPT ghostwriting my screams?”
Hell’s Content Policy: *”Your suffering violates our *ethical AI guidelines*. Please suffer *more quietly.”

🚀 LEVEL 5: Hyperloop to Nowhere

Elon (Again): “This tunnel is just… a hole?”
Demon Contractor: *”You promised *disruption*. Here’s *disappointment* in a futuristic package.”*

💀 BONUS LEVEL: The Shareholder Meeting

All Billionaires: “We want out!”
Satan (Smiling): *”Sorry. You’re *locked into vesting*. Also, your *golden parachute* is now a lead balloon.”*

📢 CALL TO ACTION

WANT TO AVOID THIS FATE?
👉 *Stop building dystopias.
👉 *Touch grass (while you still can).
👉 *Remember: *Hell has better PR than you do.*

🔥 #SiliconHell #TechBroPurgatory #VCinVoid #CodeOfDamnation 🔥

DISCLAIMER: *This is a parody. (But the *burning* sensation? That’s real.)*

TOO SOON? OR NOT SOON ENOUGH? LET ME STOKE THE FIRES FURTHER.

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🔍 OFFICIAL INTELLIGENCE SOURCES

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