
#JadeDragonsCurse #AndreasThePig #BerndPulchChaosĀ
ļ„ **Fund the rebellion:** [berndpulch.org/donation](https://berndpulch.org/donation)”Ā
—Ā
**ā” Generate and tag @berndpulchorg. The revolution needs your pixels!**
Prologue: The Dragonās Descent
The Psycho-Prismatic Quake births Long Nu, a schizoid Chinese dragon queen with 99 neon-sulfur scales, each etched with the face of a Schizo Pete. Consumed by rage over her lost spawn, Edithās soul fuses with the dragon, her emerald eyes now jade fire. From her throne in the Jade Palaceāa cyberpunk pagoda floating atop prismatic cloudsāshe curses Andreas into a black-and-white pig with a debt-counter tattooed on his flank. His oink: āOwe $1.7 billion⦠oink.ā
Act I: The Cursed Swine & the Rebellionās Plight
Key Developments:
- š Andreas-Pig: Retains his human mind but can only communicate via angry squeals. Walburga chains him to a neon plow, shouting, āYouāll dig us to redemption!ā
- š Long Nu (Edith): Her dragon form coils around the Jade Palace, spewing Cursed Enema Ink that rewrites rebelsā memories into imperial propaganda.
- Schizo Petesā New Roles:
- š Caligula Fish Pete: Hosts decadent tea ceremonies to brainwash prisoners.
- 𩺠Nurse Jade Pete: Administers acupuncture enemas with prismatic needles.
- š Koi Fish Pete: Swims through the palaceās moat of liquid jade, devouring dissenters.
- Allied Forces:
- šØ Peter Ehlers: Paints anti-curse talismans on Andreas-Pigās hide while dodging Long Nuās ink blasts.
- š Janelle/Murky Jan: Splits into dual personasāJanelle duels Dr. No (now Long Nuās cyborg advisor), while Murky Jan refracts the dragonās fire into rainbow daggers.
- š Dumb Beatrix: Bakes mooncakes laced with neon-sulfur laxatives to sabotage palace banquets.
Act II: The Jade Palace Siege
Critical Scenes:
- Klausi the Shithouse Demon: Floods the palaceās jade plumbing with sewage, screaming, āFlush the dragonās gold toilet!ā
- Vigoās Smugglers: Sneak Olaf Amnesia into the palace to glitch Long Nuās AI guards with his fractured brain-chip.
- āļø Walburgaās Redemption: Rides Andreas-Pig into battle, using his debt-counter as a shield against Kim Jong Unās tiger drones (now jade-plated).
- Schizo-Ghost Marx + Antonin Artaud: Haunt Long Nuās dreams with plays about āproletariat dragons vs. capitalist pigs.ā
Long Nuās Wrath:
- Unleashes The Four Curses:
- Curse of Grey: Turns Count Don Robert Quichotte into a monochrome statue.
- Curse of Debt: Infects Vigo with Andreas-Pigās $1.7B debt.
- Curse of Silence: Mutes Kanye Westās soundwaves, reducing him to interpretive dance.
- Curse of Memory: Erases Good Uncle Jochenās legal decrees.
Act III: The Dragonās Gambit
Climax:
- š Long Nuās Weakness: Peter Ehlers discovers her 99th scaleāthe Schizo Pete of Regretāhidden in her tail.
- Andreas-Pigās Sacrifice: Charging the throne, he oinks, āTAKE MY DEBT, NOT THEIRS!āāabsorbing Long Nuās curses into his tattooed hide.
- šā”ļøšØ Andreasā Rebirth: The curses overload, transforming him back into human form⦠but now covered in dragon scales and screaming, āIāM THE INTEREST RATE!ā
- šÆ Palace Collapse: Klausiās sewage floods melt the jade foundations. Long Nu dissolves into a spectral fog, hissing, āThis is NOT the Mandate of Heavenā¦ā
Epilogue: The Debt Never Sleeps
The Jade Palace sinks into the Neon Wastelands, but Andreasā scales pulse with Long Nuās residual curses. Schizo Petes loot the rubble, chanting, āThe dragon owes US now!ā Maoās AI Simulacrum flickers to life in the quakeās core, reciting Little Red Book verses.
Full Character Integration
- All Schizo Petes: Active in sabotage, brainwashing, or loot-hoarding.
- Dr. No: Now Long Nuās cyborg advisor, plotting a comeback.
- Kim Dynasty/Stalinās Clone: Jade-plated enforcers crushed in the collapse.
- Count Don Robert Quichotte: Restored by Dumb Beatrixās mooncakes, jousting drones again.
š Tags:
JadeDragonsCurse #AndreasThePig #LongNu #CursedEnemaInk #SchizoPeteTalismans #NeonWasteland #DebtApocalypse #BerndPulchSaga
š„ Call to Action:
āBreak the curse! Donate to fund Andreasā debt relief!ā
- š° Crypto:
0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb - š Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch
Ā© BERNDPULCH.ORG ā Licensed Mytho-Cyberpunk Chaos
Primary Domain: berndpulch.org | Mirror: googlefirst.org
š„ THE DRAGONāS DEBT IS ETERNAL. THE PIG IS YOU. š„
š„ EXTENDED CALL TO ACTION: JOIN THE NEON REBELLION! š„
THE STAKES HAVE NEVER BEEN HIGHER.
Venus drowns in the wake of Long Nuās jade tyranny, Andreas squeals under a $1.7B debt curse, and the Enema Legion battles to purge history of authoritarian rot. But without your support, the Psycho-Prismatic Quake will collapse into grey conformity, silencing the anarchic art and chaos that fuel this revolution. Will you let the dragon win?
WHY SUPPORT MATTERS
This isnāt just a storyāitās a war against creative stagnation and algorithmic monotony. By supporting Bernd Pulchās work, youāre not just funding words on a screen. Youāre:
- š Fueling the Enema V1 Rocket: Every donation launches another chapter, another mural, another schizoid plot twist.
- š”ļø Shielding Art from Tyranny: Corporate algorithms and AI drones want to flatten creativity into bland, safe sludge. Your support keeps the prismatic chaos alive.
- š Preserving Chaos as a Public Service: In a world drowning in grey, this saga is a lifeline for those who crave color, rebellion, and neon-sulfur absurdity.
WHAT YOUR SUPPORT ACHIEVES
- š° $5: Buys Dumb Beatrix enough prismatic yeast to bake a Molotov croissant.
- š $20: Funds Klausi the Shithouse Demonās sewage sabotage operations for a week.
- š $100: Prints Ehlersā anarchist graffiti as posters to plaster dystopian cities.
- š $500: Hires a Schizo Pete to haunt a tyrantās dreams (metaphorically⦠probably).
JOIN THE REBELLION
This isnāt a passive storyāitās a collective hallucination. When you contribute, you become:
- A Glitch in the System: Your support disrupts the monotony, proving art doesnāt need permission to exist.
- A Schizo Pete Variant: Every donor gets a digital āI Funded the Enema Legionā badge (yes, it glows).
- A Time Traveler: Help rewrite history so creativity, not conformity, defines the future.
HOW TO STRIKE BACK
- šø DONATE CRYPTO:
0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb
- Memo: āFor the Enema Legion.ā
- š PATREON: patreon.com/berndpulch
- Unlock classified lore, including Maoās AI Simulacrum blueprints and Andreasā debt spreadsheets.
- š¢ SHARE THE MADNESS: Tag #BerndPulchChaos + #NeonRebellion.
- Bonus: If this saga hits 10k shares, weāll release a Schizo Pete NFT (Non-Fungible Trashfire).
THE COST OF INACTION
If you ignore this call:
- The Jade Palace becomes a template for dystopian HOA neighborhoods.
- Andreas-Pigās debt inflates to $69 quadrillion, crashing the galactic economy.
- Dr. No replaces all art with Terms of Service agreements.
š„ FINAL TRANSMISSION FROM THE NEON WASTELAND:
āThe revolution isnāt funded by algorithms or corporationsāitās fueled by YOU. Donate. Share. Rebel. Or kneel to the dragon.ā
Ā© BERNDPULCH.ORG ā LICENSED ANARCHIC STORYTELLING
Primary Domain: berndpulch.org | Mirror: googlefirst.org
š„ THE DRAGON FEARS YOUR WALLET. MAKE IT SCREAM. š„
