**吝 *”POV: You asked Keir Starmer for a straight answer”***
**Behold:** The world’s first **360° politician**—spins on every issue, stands for nothing, and *comes pre-installed with Tory firmware!*
**Tag someone who’d still vote for this weathervane**
**Comment your best “Which way will he blow next?” prediction**
#StarmerTheSpineless #RedToryEdition #PoliticalJellyfish #UKPolitics #Satire
*(Artistic allegory / Not a real weathervane… or is it?)*
(𝒜 a𝒟𝒶𝓇𝓀 𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝒟𝑒𝓁𝒾𝒸𝒾𝑜𝓊𝓈𝓁𝓎 𝒩𝒶𝓈𝓉𝓎 𝒫𝑜𝓁𝒾𝓉𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓁 𝒯𝒶𝓀𝑒𝒹𝑜𝓌𝓃)
🎩 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗕𝗟𝗘𝗠: 𝗔 𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘 𝗦𝗔𝗖𝗸 𝗢𝗳 𝗠𝗘𝗗𝗶𝗢𝗖𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗬 𝗜𝗡 𝗔 𝗦𝗨𝗜𝗧
𝕎𝕖𝕝𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕂𝕖�𝕣 𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕣 ℙ𝕠𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕝 𝕊𝕡𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕒𝕔𝕦𝕝𝕒𝕣! 🎪🤹♂️
- 2017: “I fully support Corbyn’s radical vision!”
- 2020: “I never believed in that nonsense.”
- 2024: “What is ‘belief’? Can we focus group it?”
𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗣𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗖𝗔𝗟 𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗟𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗦𝗨𝗕𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗡 𝗔 𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗬’𝗦 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗘. 💨💼
💡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗢𝗟𝗨𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡: 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗟𝗜𝗣-𝗙𝗟𝗢𝗣 𝗢𝗟𝗬𝗠𝗣𝗜𝗖𝗦
𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗦 𝗜𝗡𝗖𝗟𝗨𝗗𝗘:
1️⃣ 𝗗𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗨-𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻 𝗦𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘁 – Gold medal for speed! 🏃♂️💨
2️⃣ 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲-𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗻 – How many pledges can he ditch? 🏅
3️⃣ 𝗦𝗽𝗶𝗻-𝗗𝗼𝗰𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝗦𝗶𝗺𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 – Can he out-flip a pancake? 🥞🤹♂️
🏆 𝗣𝗥𝗜𝗭𝗘: A knighthood for “Services to Absolute Nothingness” ✨🏅
💀 𝗙𝗔𝗤𝗦 (𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗗𝗘𝗩𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗦𝗨𝗕𝗝𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗦)
❓ Q: Is Starmer a Tory in disguise?
✅ A: No, even Tories pretend to believe in something.
❓ Q: What’s his stance on breathing?
✅ A: “Let me check the latest polling data.”
❓ Q: Can he find his spine with GPS?
✅ A: Error 404: Spine not found.
🔥 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗖𝗟𝗨𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡: 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥 𝗪𝗛𝗢 𝗪𝗔𝗦𝗡’𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘
𝕀𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕤𝕢𝕦𝕚𝕟𝕥 𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕕 𝕖𝕟𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙, 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕤𝕖𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕘𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕠𝕦𝕥𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕒 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕧𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕠𝕟𝕔𝕖 𝕞𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖.
#StarmerTheSpineless #RedTory #FlipFlopOverlord #PoliticalJellyfish #LabourLies #VoteForVoid
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