“France’s cellar crackles—Sven sparks radios, Klausi taunts Nazis, and Pete spins guns in the gloom. Walburga’s sword flares, Dumbo jabs Quichotte, Kanye raps through the smoke, and Boredom-Stonewall preaches Vichy as the resistance fights back!”
List of Characters:
- Sven the Ugly Schmidt: Hacker turned saboteur, rewiring Nazi radios.
- Klausi the Shithouse Demon: Mischievous demon, pranking Gestapo with glee.
- Murky Jan: Flamboyant manipulator, charming résistants in berets.
- Crazy Pete the Fish (The Joker): Eccentric schemer, turning sabotage into chaos.
- Thomas: Drug-addled Prussian, lost in black-market wine and war haze.
- Olaf “I Can’t Remember Anything” Amnesia: Forgetting the resistance code.
- Ms. Dumbo Bock: Ambitious politician, rallying résistants against Vichy.
- Muschi Lie En: Syndicate leader, eyeing the underground for her empire.
- Fritz the Fozzler: Mysterious disruptor, prime target of Boredom-Stonewall’s betrayal.
- Dr. Z: Neo-Nazi propagandist, torn between admiration and defiance.
- Walburga the Valkyrie: Mythical warrior, her Wonder Sword slicing Nazi steel.
- Good Uncle Jochen: Lawyer, citing law in a lawless occupation.
- Dumb Tom: Tinkerer, rigging bombs to misfire.
- Dumb Beatrix: Baker, tossing bread to distract patrols.
- Godmother Erika: Enigmatic planner, weaving schemes in French shadows.
- Andreas and Edith: Wastepaper moguls, peddling forged papers in the resistance.
- Vigo, die Geisel der Karpathen: Sinister figure, double-dealing with Vichy and Nazis.
- Kanye West: Time-traveling rapper, dropping bars in a safehouse.
- Count Don Robert Quichotte: Dumbo Bock’s foe, accused with her by Boredom-Stonewall.
- Archbishop Frank Boredom-Stonewall: Fake bigot preacher, now a Vichy collaborationist, enemy of Fritz, Dumbo, and Quichotte, preaching Nazi loyalty.
(Cue the crackle of a hidden radio, the distant boom of artillery, and the hum of a French ballad, as the crew leaps from Salem’s gallows into the tense shadows of occupied France, 1944.)
The Wonder Sword’s blaze cut through Salem’s frost, hurling the crew from witch-trial hysteria into a new kind of peril. They landed in a damp cellar, the air thick with cigarette smoke and the tang of fear. Occupied France simmered—résistants in berets whispered over maps, Nazi patrols clattered outside, and Archbishop Frank Boredom-Stonewall, now in a Vichy-collaborationist cassock, stood before a swastika banner, his voice oily. “Traitors! Saboteurs!” he sneered, pointing at Fritz, Dumbo, and Quichotte. “Your rebellion ends with my Gestapo friends!”
Sven, shaking off Puritan dust, fiddled with a Nazi radio. “From nooses to Nazis—I’d rather hack a tank!” He dodged a résistante’s glare. Klausi, scampering along a beam, flicked a match at a German officer. “Oi, Fritz-fan, spark up—demon’s here to blow!” The soldier yelped, swatting air.
Murky Jan, now in a beret and scarf, flashed a grin at a maquis fighter. “Darling, this war’s divine—surely I’m too chic to shoot?” A gunshot echoed nearby. Crazy Pete, twirling a stolen Luger, danced on a crate. “Why so collaby, Frankie? This fight’s my circus—ha ha ha!” A bullet pinged his hat, and he winked.
Thomas, swaying from black-market wine, slurred, “This… this is freedom? Or just bad vin?” Olaf Amnesia, beside him, stared at a codebook. “Did I join this? What’s ‘maquis’?” A résistante shoved him toward a map.
Ms. Dumbo Bock, in a scavenged coat, faced Boredom-Stonewall. “Your Vichy’s a sham—I’ll liberate this land!” He waved a propaganda leaflet, snarling, “Rebel!” Count Don Robert Quichotte, trenchcoat flapping, drew a knife beside her. “Your sermons sicken me, priest—and Bock’s mine to end!” She elbowed him, earning a hiss.
Muschi Lie En, eyeing a weapons cache, whispered to a résistante. “Join me, and France is ours—syndicate style!” Fritz the Fozzler, ducking Boredom-Stonewall’s pointed finger, muttered, “From ropes to rifles…” The archbishop thundered, “You’re the resistance’s snake—snuff him!” Dr. Z, clutching a swastika pin, nodded. “Such disciplined betrayal—a fascist’s dream!”
Walburga, her Wonder Sword gleaming, faced a Gestapo pistol. “Your steel’s no match—I’ll cut this night!” Boredom-Stonewall pointed, “Saboteur!” Good Uncle Jochen, dodging a patrol, shouted, “Under Geneva—ow!—we’ve rights!” A rifle butt silenced him.
Dumb Tom, rigging a bomb with wire, grinned. “Fizzle the blast, dodge the bust—done!” Dumb Beatrix, tossing bread from her sack, called, “Eat this, not us, you Nazi goons!” Andreas and Edith, clutching forged papers, whimpered, “We’ll fake your passes—spare us!”
Godmother Erika, calm in the shadows, murmured, “This war’s our web—spin it.” Kanye West, bold in a safehouse, rapped: “I’m Kanye, freedom king—beats hit harder than your tanks, bling!” Vigo, cutting a deal with a Vichy officer, smirked. “Resistance or Reich—I win either way.”
Boredom-Stonewall slammed his fist, his voice a growl. “Round them up—crush the maquis!” Nazis surged, boots stomping, guns blazing. Pete’s Luger spun, Sven’s radio sparked, and Klausi tripped a soldier into a crate. “Now!” Walburga roared, her sword slashing air, light bursting as bullets flew. The Wonder Sword pulsed, and the crew vanished—smoke swirling, Boredom-Stonewall’s curse fading into French silence.
They landed in a heap, cellar replaced by a hot wind, stone now sand. Sven groaned, “Where now?” Klausi sniffed, “Smells like dust—and diesel.” Pete grinned, “New war, same stakes—light it up!”
Call to Action: “Blast Out of Boredom-Stonewall’s Vichy Grip!”
“The crew’s pinned in France’s fight—Sven’s radios fizz, Klausi’s pranks flare, and Pete’s turning bombs into gags! Walburga’s sword needs YOUR fire to slash us free from Boredom-Stonewall’s Nazi net. Back our break from this resistance rumble—or we’re Gestapo grub!
Join the maquis mayhem: patreon.com/berndpulch
Drop a franc to dodge the Reich: berndpulch.org/donation
Save us from Vichy’s vice—support now, or it’s a French farewell for all!”
(End scene with the crack of a rifle and the hum of a distant plane.)
Here’s a fresh call to action for “Resistance Rumble: Boredom-Stonewall’s Vichy Vice,” linked to patreon.com/berndpulch and berndpulch.org/donation, keeping the satirical chaos of occupied France and the crew’s fight against Archbishop Frank Boredom-Stonewall in the spotlight:
Call to Action: “Sabotage Boredom-Stonewall’s Vichy Vise!”
“The crew’s cornered in France’s shadow war—Sven’s wires spark, Klausi’s tricks fizzle, and Pete’s turning Nazis into punchlines! Walburga’s sword needs YOUR blast to cut us loose from Boredom-Stonewall’s collaborationist clamp. Back our bolt from this resistance rumble—or we’re Vichy’s next victims!
Join the underground uprising: patreon.com/berndpulch
Toss a coin to defy the Gestapo: berndpulch.org/donation
Help us outfox the Vichy vice—support now, or it’s a Nazi noose for the squad!”
❌©BERNDPULCH.ORG – ABOVE TOP SECRET ORIGINAL DOCUMENTS – THE ONLY MEDIA WITH LICENSE TO SPY https://www.berndpulch.org
https://googlefirst.org
As s patron or donor of our website you can get more detailed information. Act now before its too late…
MY BIO:
FAQ:
@Copyright Bernd Pulch
CRYPTO WALLET for
Bitcoin:
0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb
ShapeShift Wallet, KeepKey, Metamask, Portis, XDefi Wallet, TallyHo, Keplr and Wallet connect
0x271588b52701Ae34dA9D4B31716Df2669237AC7f
Crypto Wallet for Binance Smart Chain-, Ethereum-, Polygon-Networks
bmp
0xd3cce3e8e214f1979423032e5a8c57ed137c518b
Monero
41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh
GOD BLESS YOU
Bernd Pulch 