Listen to 🤡✌Wastepaper Circus: Chaos Unleashed by BERNDPULCH.ORG on #SoundCloud
https://on.soundcloud.com/Prs9pMYaFKLDoz6p9
By: Theodore Tiger (Satire Edition)
The neonazi real estate circus has reached new heights of absurdity with the introduction of Andreas and Edith, two wastepaper moguls with over 100 types of wastepaper in their empire. Meanwhile, Janelle—now calling herself Oedipussy Janelle after falling in love with Mother Iokaste-Monica—has gone bankrupt and is being sponsored by the wastepaper duo. Dr. Z is confused, Hitler’s clone is tap-dancing, and the Brazilian escorts are taking bets on who will go bankrupt next.
Cast of Characters:
- Dr. Z: The self-proclaimed Aryan real estate revolutionary, now questioning his life choices.
- Janelle (aka Oedipussy Janelle): The glamorous double agent, now bankrupt and in love with Mother Iokaste-Monica.
- Andreas and Edith: Wastepaper moguls with over 100 types of wastepaper, now sponsoring Janelle.
- Mother Iokaste-Monica: The object of Janelle’s affection, who may or may not be using her to fund her artisanal candle business.
- Hitler’s Clone: Still tap-dancing, now considering a career in wastepaper recycling.
- Dumb Tom: The bumbling wastepaper editor, now trying to impress Andreas and Edith with his GlitterCoin idea.
- Dumb Beatrix: The corrupt public attorney, now representing Mother Iokaste-Monica in a bizarre intellectual property case.
- Crazy Pete the Fish: The Joker reincarnated, now working as a freelance wastepaper consultant.
- The Brazilian Escorts: Running a betting pool on who will go bankrupt next.
The Plot: Wastepaper Wars and Oedipussy Janelle
The episode begins with Andreas and Edith unveiling their latest product: Wastepaper 101, a collection of over 100 types of wastepaper, including “Glitter Confetti,” “Swastika Shreds,” and “Eco-Friendly Propaganda.”
- Andreas’s Pitch: “Our wastepaper is more than just paper—it’s a lifestyle. Also, it’s biodegradable.”
- Edith’s Addition: “And if you buy in bulk, we’ll throw in a free tap-dancing lesson from Hitler’s clone.”
Meanwhile, Janelle—now calling herself Oedipussy Janelle—has gone bankrupt after spending all her money on Mother Iokaste-Monica’s artisanal candles.
- Oedipussy Janelle’s Confession: “I’ve found true love with Mother Iokaste-Monica. Also, I’m broke. Can someone sponsor me?”
Enter Andreas and Edith, who agree to sponsor Janelle in exchange for her promoting their wastepaper empire.
Mother Iokaste-Monica’s Candle Empire
Mother Iokaste-Monica, the object of Janelle’s affection, is busy running her artisanal candle business, using Janelle’s sponsorship funds to expand her operations.
- Mother Iokaste-Monica: “I don’t care about Janelle. I just want to make the best candles in the world. Also, can someone stop Hitler’s clone from tap-dancing in my workshop?”
Hitler’s Clone’s Wastepaper Ambitions
Hitler’s clone, inspired by Andreas and Edith’s success, decides to launch his own wastepaper line: Tap-Dance Shreds.
- Hitler’s Clone’s Pitch: “It’s like regular wastepaper, but with more rhythm.”
Dumb Tom and Beatrix’s Misadventures
Dumb Tom, desperate to impress Andreas and Edith, pitches his GlitterCoin idea as the future of wastepaper finance.
- Dumb Tom’s Pitch: “Imagine a cryptocurrency made entirely of glittery wastepaper. It’s genius!”
Meanwhile, Dumb Beatrix takes on Mother Iokaste-Monica as a client, arguing that her candle business is “a form of olfactory performance art.”
Crazy Pete’s Wastepaper Chaos
Crazy Pete the Fish, now a freelance wastepaper consultant, teams up with the Brazilian escorts to create Operation Wastepaper Storm, a global campaign to promote Andreas and Edith’s wastepaper empire. Their first move? Releasing a flock of parrots trained to squawk “Recycle with style!”
The Brazilian Escorts Strike Again
The Brazilian escorts, now experts in wastepaper sabotage, infiltrate Dr. Z’s ReichCoin launch and replace the swastika logos with wastepaper confetti. (“If you’re going to sabotage, do it with flair,” they declare.)
What’s Next?
With Janelle sponsored by Andreas and Edith, Dr. Z confused, and Crazy Pete and the Brazilian escorts causing wastepaper chaos, the neonazi real estate circus is more absurd than ever. Rumor has it the next episode will feature a Wastepaper Fashion Show.
Call to Action:
Loved this absurd tale? Help us keep the satire alive! Support us on patreon.com/berndpulch or make a donation at berndpulch.org/donation. Together, we can ensure that no neonazi real estate guru—or their ridiculous entourage—goes unchallenged!
Disclaimer: This article is a work of satire. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Probably.
Tags:
- Satire
- Dr. Z
- Janelle
- Oedipussy Janelle
- Andreas
- Edith
- Wastepaper Moguls
- Mother Iokaste-Monica
- Dumb Tom
- Dumb Beatrix
- Neonazi Real Estate
- Aryan Acres
- Far-Right Follies
- Absurdity
- Corruption
- Espionage Satire
- Brazilian Escorts
- ReichCoin
- Chaos and Mayhem
- Satirical News
- Bernd Pulch
- Internet Absurdity
- Hitler’s Clone
- Crazy Pete the Fish
- Romantic Comedy
- Wastepaper Empire
Call to Action: Keep the Satire Alive—Support the Fight Against Absurdity!
🌈 Step into a world of chaos, glitter, and wastepaper madness! 🌈
The saga of Dr. Z, Oedipussy Janelle, Andreas, Edith, and the rest of the neonazi real estate circus is a wild ride through the bizarre and the outrageous. But bringing you these satirical masterpieces takes time, creativity, and a whole lot of caffeine. That’s where you come in!
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Tags:
- Satire
- Dr. Z
- Janelle
- Oedipussy Janelle
- Andreas
- Edith
- Wastepaper Moguls
- Mother Iokaste-Monica
- Dumb Tom
- Dumb Beatrix
- Neonazi Real Estate
- Aryan Acres
- Far-Right Follies
- Absurdity
- Corruption
- Espionage Satire
- Brazilian Escorts
- ReichCoin
- Chaos and Mayhem
- Satirical News
- Bernd Pulch
- Internet Absurdity
- Hitler’s Clone
- Crazy Pete the Fish
- Romantic Comedy
- Wastepaper Empire
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