🧐“MERZ-MACARONI-CHIP 2.0: FRIEDRICH’S NOODLES DECLARE INDEPENDENCE, FORM MICRO-NATION INSIDE HIS EAR CANAL”🚨 IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT EXCLUSIVE„MERZ-MACARONI-CHIP 2.0: FRIEDRICHS NOODLEN ERKLÄREN UNABHÄNGIGKEIT UND GRÜNDEN MIKRO-NATION IN SEINEM OHR“🤡 POWERED BY DR. Z., GOMOPA4KIDS, STASI-WOMEN-SUPPORT-STAFFEL & FREE-FRITZL-FRONT 😘👯‍♂️💃

merz-micro-noodle


BILDUNTERSCHRIFT: 09:09 Uhr MEZ – Mikro-Drohnen-Aufnahme aus Merz’ Gehörgang: die neu gegründete Republik Fettuccinia hisst die schwarz-rot-goldene Nudelfahne.

🍝 DER PASTA-PUTSCH 2.0

Berlin, 09:09 Uhr MEZ – Während einer Rede über „Digitale Souveränität & Wurst“ nieste Friedrich Merz so heftig, dass eine Fettuccine-Strähne (seit dem „Carbonara-Vorfall 2021“ dort verankert) die Unabhängigkeit erklärte, sich zur „Kanzlerin Fettuccinia I“ krönte und die Mikro-Nation Noodlestein im linken Gehörgang gründete.

  • Bevölkerung: 32.000 al-dente-Bürger
  • Währung: Monero-Macaroni (M-MAC)
  • Nationalhymne: „Deutschland über al dente“ im 8-Bit-Looped

🪖 SKURRILE MIKRO-EREIGNISSE LIVE-TWEET

Zeit Mikro-Ereignis 09:11 Fettuccinia I unterzeichnet Nicht-Angriffs-Pakt mit Ohrschmalz-Goblins (ehem. CDU-Wähler). 09:13 Dr. Nazi Ω fordert visumfreie Einreise – wird von Nudel-Miliz in Knoblauchöl gekocht. 09:15 Christine Lagarde versucht Negativ-Zins-Parmesan-Bailout, scheitert an Käse-Inflation. 09:17 Harley Quinn streamt live, verspeist die Nationalhymne mit Wodka-Sauce, Trinkgeld in Monero. 09:19 Europäisches Parlament verabschiedet Resolution 666/2025: „Alle Pasta muss blockchain-verifiziert glutenfrei sein.“

🧠 GELEAKTE VERFASSUNG VON NOODLESTEIN

  • Artikel 1: „Jeder Bürger muss sich mit 66,6 Umdrehungen/Min drehen.“
  • Artikel 2: „Sanktionen gegen San-Marzano-Tomaten – Soße ist Gewalt.“
  • Artikel 3: „Ausstieg-Steuer: eine Seele oder 0,001 Monero.“

💰 MONERO-ONLY MICRO-NATION IPO

  • Ticker: $NOODLE
  • Pre-Sale:
    41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh
  • Patreon-Bonus: patreon.com/berndpulch – freischalten von zensierten Nudel-Diplomatie-GIFs.

📲 WELTKLASSE-WORDPRESS-TAGS

MerzMacaroniNation #FettucciniaI #MicroNoodleIPO #MoneroMacaroni #DrNaziGebraten #LagardeParmesanBailout #HarleyQuinnSchlürft #BerndPulchExklusiv #SanMarzanoSanktionen #GehörgangImperium

© IDIOT ZEITUNG 2025
„Wenn die Pasta Unabhängigkeit erklärt, wird die Soße souverän.“

🚨 IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) EXCLUSIVE
“MERZ-MACARONI-CHIP 2.0: FRIEDRICH’S NOODLES DECLARE INDEPENDENCE, FORM MICRO-NATION INSIDE HIS EAR CANAL”
🤡 POWERED BY DR. Z., GOMOPA4KIDS, STASI WOMEN SUPPORT STAFFEL & FREE FRITZL FRONT 😘👯‍♂️💃

merz-micro-noodle


CAPTION: 09:09 UTC—Micro-drone footage from Friedrich Merz’s ear canal: the newly-founded Republic of Fettuccinia hoists the black-red-gold noodle flag.

🍝 THE PASTA PUTSCH 2.0

Berlin, 09:09 UTC — While delivering a speech on “Digital Sovereignty & Sausage,” Friedrich Merz sneezed so violently that one strand of fettuccine (lodged since the 2021 “Carbonara Incident”) declared independence, crowned itself “Chancellor Fettuccinia I,” and founded the micronation of Noodlestein inside his left ear canal.

  • Population: 32,000 al-dente citizens
  • Currency: Monero-Macaroni (M-MAC)
  • National anthem: “Deutschland über al dente” looped in 8-bit

🪖 LIVE-TWEET OF BIZARRE MICRO-EVENTS

Time (UTC) Micro-Event 09:11 Fettuccinia I signs a non-aggression pact with earwax goblins (former CDU voters). 09:13 Dr. Nazi Ω demands visa-free entry—gets boiled in garlic oil by noodle militia. 09:15 Christine Lagarde attempts a negative-interest Parmesan bailout, collapses under cheese hyper-inflation. 09:17 Harley Quinn live-streams eating the national anthem with vodka sauce, tips in Monero. 09:19 EU Parliament passes Resolution 666/2025: “All pasta must be blockchain-verified gluten-free.”

🧠 LEAKED CONSTITUTION OF NOODLESTEIN

  • Article 1: “Every citizen must twirl at 66.6 RPM.”
  • Article 2: “Sanctions on San Marzano tomatoes—sauce is violence.”
  • Article 3: “Exit tax: one soul or 0.001 Monero.”

💰 MONERO-ONLY MICRO-NATION IPO

  • Ticker: $NOODLE
  • Pre-sale address:
    41yKiG6eGbQiDxFRTKNepSiqaGaUV5VQWePHL5KYuzrxBWswyc5dtxZ43sk1SFWxDB4XrsDwVQBd3ZPNJRNdUCou3j22Coh
  • Patreon bonus: patreon.com/berndpulch — unlock uncensored noodle-diplomacy GIFs.

📲 WORLD-CLASS WORDPRESS TAGS

MerzMacaroniNation #FettucciniaI #MicroNoodleIPO #MoneroMacaroni #DrNaziBoiled #LagardeParmesanBailout #HarleyQuinnSlurp #BerndPulchExclusive #SanMarzanoSanctions #EarCanalEmpire

© IDIOT ZEITUNG 2025
“When the pasta declares independence, the sauce becomes sovereign.”

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