“Pharaoh Kaiser L’s Stinkbande erects the Great Stink Wall in a riot of color—Bank of China backs the stinkiest spectacle in the skies! Catch the madness in Idiot Zeitung!”
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Idiot Zeitung (IZ): “Die Große Stinkmauer von China – Sponsored by Bank of China”
Characters:
- Pharaoh Kaiser L, the First Andreas L-Orch – The mastermind with a pharaoh staff featuring a grappling hook and Deutsche Bank logo, now juggling Bank of China funds.
- Herr Schildmeister – Riddle-spouting tactician with a waxed mustache and megaphone.
- Dumb Tom – Lasso-wielding cloud-catcher turned brick-hauler in a hot-air balloon.
- Murky Jan – Gay swamp gas maestro and transcrosser, now dazzling in heels and a sequined cape.
- Dumb Beatrix – Holey loot sack seamstress, stitching wall banners instead.
- E. dith – Air money counter with her Stink-o-Tron, counting Bank of China yuan.
- Crazy Pete – The Joker-inspired stink bomb hurler in a purple cape.
The headline explodes across Idiot Zeitung’s pages: “STINKBANDE BAUT DIE GROßE CHINESISCHE STINKMAUER – BANK OF CHINA SAGT JA ZU FART-FINANZIERUNG!!!” Fresh off their stratosphere escape, Pharaoh Kaiser L stands atop a rickety scaffolding tower, his pharaoh staff now adorned with a Bank of China logo sticker slapped over the Deutsche Bank one. His latest lunatic vision? To construct a “Great Stink Wall of China” across the clouds, a towering, odoriferous barrier to keep out the Sky Police and nosy cherubs, all funded by a bizarre Bank of China grant for “innovative infrastructure.”
The Fart-Vac 3000, repurposed as a brick-laying beast, chugs along the skyline, belching green mortar fumes as it slaps together a wall of mismatched bricks—some stolen from ancient ruins, others suspiciously fart-scented. “Herr Schildmeister! Confuse the laborers with riddles!” Kaiser L commands. Herr Schildmeister, perched on a floating platform, blasts through his megaphone:
“What stands tall, smells worse than sin, and keeps the law out with a stinky grin?”
The workers, scratching their heads, accidentally stack bricks upside down, creating a wobbly, leaning monstrosity.
Dumb Tom, ever the oaf, floats above in his balloon, lassoing stray clouds and dropping them as “foundation fluff.” “Clouds is soft bricks, right?” he mumbles, dumping a thunderhead that zaps the wall with lightning. Meanwhile, Murky Jan—now openly gay and a dazzling transcrosser—struts onto the scene in thigh-high boots, a sequined cape, and a glitter-dusted cauldron. “Darlings, this wall needs fabulous fog!” he purrs, twirling a ladle through his swamp gas brew. The resulting mist, shimmering with rainbow sparkles, cloaks the wall in a fabulous, sulfurous haze that leaves everyone coughing—and oddly enchanted.
Dumb Beatrix, giggling maniacally, stitches giant banners for the wall emblazoned with “Bank of China Presents: Stinkmauer Supreme!” Her needlework is so shoddy that the banners flap loose, tangling Crazy Pete mid-stink-bomb toss. “Fish flops for freedom!” Pete shrieks, hurling his purple-caped chaos at the wall, where the bombs stick to the bricks, turning it into a ticking, smelly fortress. E. dith, meanwhile, cranks the Stink-o-Tron to convert fart fumes into Bank of China yuan, shouting, “We’ve hit 88 stink-yuan!” as the bills flutter down like rancid confetti.
Pharaoh Kaiser L surveys the teetering, stench-soaked wall with glee. “The Bank of China will hail me as a visionary!” he declares, just as Murky Jan sashays up, batting his lashes. “Honey, I told the bank boys this wall’s a queer masterpiece— they doubled the funding!” Jan winks, striking a pose as the crew cheers. But trouble looms: Sky Police drones buzz on the horizon, armed with giant fans and jasmine-scented missiles, ready to topple the Stinkmauer.
As the Stinkbande scrambles to reinforce their creation with extra fart-bricks, a new Idiot Zeitung headline flares: “STINKMAUER VS. SKY POLIZEI – WIRD DIE BANK OF CHINA DEN Gestank RETTEN?!?” The scene fades with Kaiser L raising his staff, Murky Jan voguing atop the wall, and a looming showdown in the clouds. Tune in next time for more reeking ridiculousness—sponsored by Bank of China!
Call to Action:
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Call to Action:
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