Characters:
- Pharaoh Kaiser L, the First Andreas L-Orch – The mastermind with a pharaoh staff featuring a grappling hook, now urban planner of stench.
- Herr Schildmeister – Riddle-spouting tactician with a waxed mustache and megaphone.
- Dumb Tom – Lasso-wielding cloud-catcher turned skyscraper-roping cowboy.
- Murky Jan – Gay swamp gas maestro and transcrosser, dazzling in heels and a sequined cape, perfuming the city.
- Dumb Beatrix – Holey loot sack seamstress, stitching fart-balloon tents.
- E. dith – Air money counter with her Stink-o-Tron, minting metropolis credits.
- Crazy Pete – The Joker-inspired stink bomb hurler in a purple cape, bombing boulevards.
The headline screeches across Idiot Zeitung’s smudged pages: “STINKBANDE GRÜNDET STINKOPOLIS – DIE FARTASTISCHE METROPOLE IM HIMMEL!!!” After the shaky success of “Heaven Now,” Pharaoh Kaiser L stands on a swaying platform of recycled wastepaper, his pharaoh staff—still tangled with Bank of China memos—pointing skyward like a deranged architect’s compass. His newest brainchild? “Stinkopolis,” a floating metropolis powered by flatulence, wastepaper skyscrapers, and sheer audacity, designed to outshine every cloud-bound rival.
The Fart-Vac 3000, now a city-building titan, thunders through the stratosphere, sucking up storm clouds and spewing them out as wobbly, fart-infused foundations. Skyscrapers of soggy paper and duct tape rise in jagged clusters, their tips swaying dangerously. “Herr Schildmeister! Stump the Sky Police with riddles!” Kaiser L roars. Herr Schildmeister, atop a paper spire, blares through his megaphone:
“What floats on stink, towers high, and laughs at law from the sky?”
The approaching Sky Police drones pause mid-flight, circuits frying as they ponder, giving the Stinkbande precious time.
Dumb Tom, swinging from his balloon, lassos thunderheads and ropes them into place as “skyscraper supports.” “Big city needs big clouds!” he hollers, accidentally snagging a lightning bolt that zaps a tower into a smoking heap. Murky Jan, fabulous in sequined cape and heels, prances along a fart-powered boulevard, stirring his cauldron of perfumed swamp gas. “This city needs glamour, loves!” he purrs, unleashing a glittering violet-and-orange mist that smells like lavender and landfill, turning Stinkopolis into a shimmering, stinky mirage.
Dumb Beatrix, giggling, stitches fart-balloon tents from old newspapers, her shoddy seams letting hot air leak in loud PFFFFT bursts. “Cozy homes!” she cheers, as the tents bobble upward, tangling in Pete’s chaos. Crazy Pete, cape flapping, races down a paper street, hurling fish-shaped stink bombs that explode into teal-and-yellow plumes, “decorating” the city with sticky, smelly craters. “Stinkopolis needs pizzazz!” he cackles, dodging a collapsing tower.
E. dith, hunched over the Stink-o-Tron, churns fart fumes into “metropolis credits”—shiny green coins stamped with Kaiser L’s face. “We’re at 99 stink-bucks!” she yells, as the coins rain down, half melting into gooey puddles. Pharaoh Kaiser L, smirking, declares, “Stinkopolis is my masterpiece—a fart-fueled utopia!” Murky Jan, voguing beside him, adds, “And fiercely fabulous, darling—the Sky Police can’t handle this slay!”
But danger looms: Sky Police blimps, now upgraded with vacuum cannons and pine-scented bombs, swarm the horizon, aiming to suck Stinkopolis into oblivion. As the Stinkbande scrambles—Jan twirling defiantly, Pete bombing recklessly—a new Idiot Zeitung headline flares: “STINKOPOLIS VS. SKY POLIZEI – WIRD DIE FART-METROPOLE ÜBERSTEHEN?!?” The scene fades with towers trembling, fart clouds billowing, and a battle brewing. Tune in next time for more odorous outrage!
Call to Action:
“Help the Stinkbande build Stinkopolis sky-high! Unlock exclusive Idiot Zeitung madness at patreon.com/berndpulch, or fuel the fart-fueled city at berndpulch.org/donation. Keep the stench soaring—support us today!”
Here’s a Call to Action (CTA) tailored for the “Stinkopolis – Die Schwimmende Fart-Metropole” episode, linked to patreon.com/berndpulch and berndpulch.org/donation:
Call to Action:
“Power up Stinkopolis with your support! Dive into exclusive Idiot Zeitung stench at patreon.com/berndpulch, or pump some stink-bucks into our floating fart-city at berndpulch.org/donation. Keep the metropolis reeking—back us now!”
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