Idiot Zeitung (IZ): “Stink Pageant – Miss Hinterfozzig’s Transgender Beauty Bash”
Characters:
- Pharaoh Kaiser L, the First Andreas L-Orch – Impotent ex-mastermind with a pharaoh staff featuring a grappling hook, now a reluctant judge.
- E. dith von B.-Aumann-Stinkenstein – Nymphomaniac wastepaper empress and air-money counter, lusting over contestants.
- Herr Schildmeister – Riddle-spouting tactician with a waxed mustache and megaphone.
- Dumb Tom – Lasso-wielding cloud-catcher turned sash-roper.
- Hinterfozzige Janelle – Treacherous diva in heels and a sequined cape, now pageant queen and host.
- Dumb Beatrix – Holey loot sack seamstress, stitching contestant costumes.
- Crazy Pete – The Joker-inspired stink bomb hurler in a purple cape, bombing the runway.
- Contestants – Notorious perverts: Sleazy Sven (flasher), Gropey Gert (grabber), Peeping Paul (voyeur), and Kinky Klaus (fetishist).
The headline struts across Idiot Zeitung’s glitter-smeared pages: “STINK PAGEANT IN SKY VERSAILLES – MISS HINTERFOZZIG KRÖNT DEN PERVERSEN STERN!!!” After seizing power in Stink Betrayal, Hinterfozzige Janelle lounges in her gaudy Sky Versailles—paper walls, bubble chandeliers, neon-pink fart-mist swirling—under a meteor shower. Her latest scheme? Hosting “Miss Hinterfozzig,” a transgender beauty contest to crown the ultimate pervert, cementing her reign with scandal. Pharaoh Kaiser L, slumped on a charred wastepaper throne, grips his drooping staff, forced to judge, while E. dith’s nymphomania runs wild.
The Fart-Vac 3000, now a pageant spotlight, blasts fart-fumes in rainbow hues, illuminating a runway of floating cacti and ash piles. Janelle, mic in hand, vogues, “Welcome to Versailles, darlings—where stink meets sin!” “Herr Schildmeister! Baffle the prudes with riddles!” Kaiser L mutters. Herr Schildmeister, atop a bubble podium, booms:
“Who struts in stink, pervs with flair, and crowns a queen beyond compare?”
Sky Police decency drones, hovering with blush-rays, stall mid-buzz, flustered by the riddle.
Dumb Tom, swinging his lasso, ropes sashes, yelling, “Gonna tie ‘em pretty!” Sleazy Sven flashes a trench coat of tax forms—E. dith pounces, “Oh, reveal me!”—Tom lassos her back. Janelle smirks, stirring her cauldron into a silver-and-purple brew. “This pageant needs devious dazzle!” she purrs, unleashing a musky mist that amps the perverts’ antics.
Dumb Beatrix, cackling, stitches costumes from IOUs—Gropey Gert’s grabby gloves, Peeping Paul’s peek-a-boo cape—her seams ripping mid-strut. “Outfits fer oglin’!” she cheers, as scraps flop onto Pete. Crazy Pete, cape swirling, hurls fish-shaped stink bombs at the runway, shrieking, “Perverts need punch!” The blasts turn Kinky Klaus’s feather boa into a smelly fireball, delighting E. dith, who chases him next.
Contestants strut: Sven flashes, Gert gropes a cactus, Paul peeps at Janelle, Klaus twirls a fart-whip. E. dith, straddling the Stink-o-Tron, churns fart fumes into “perv-tickets”—slimy pink stubs she flings at them. “We’ve got 6,969 stink-winks!” she howls, winking at Kaiser L, who slumps impotently, muttering, “My kingdom’s a freakshow!” Janelle, judging, quips, “Honey, I’m the pharaoh—these pervs are my court!”
The pageant peaks: Sky Police drones, armed with shame-rays and mint bombs, dive in to shut it down. As Janelle crowns Klaus “Miss Hinterfozzig,” E. dith flirts with a drone, and Kaiser L faints into ash, a new Idiot Zeitung headline flares: “STINK PAGEANT VS. SKY POLIZEI – WIRD JANELLE’S PERV-KÖNIGIN SIEGEN?!?” The scene fades with cacti swaying, fart-mist swirling, and a perverse coronation under a meteor shower. Tune in next time for more stinky scandal!
Call to Action:
“Strut with Miss Hinterfozzig’s Stink Pageant! Snag exclusive Idiot Zeitung perv-chaos at patreon.com/berndpulch, or toss some perv-tickets into Janelle’s fart-fueled bash at berndpulch.org/donation. Keep the Sky Versailles stinking—support us now!”
Tags:
#Stinkbande #StinkPageant #PharaohKaiserL #EdithVonStinkenstein #HinterfozzigeJanelle #FartVac3000 #IdiotZeitung #CrazyPete #PervTickets #SkyPolice #SatireStinks
Here’s a Call to Action
Call to Action:
“Join the Stink Reign’s pervert purge! Grab exclusive Idiot Zeitung chaos at patreon.com/berndpulch, or fling some purge-tickets into Hinterfozzige Janelle’s fart-fueled power grab at berndpulch.org/donation. Keep the Sky Versailles stinking wild—support us now!”
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