Characters:
- Pharaoh Kaiser L, the First Andreas L-Orch – Impotent mastermind with a pharaoh staff featuring a grappling hook, now a space captain.
- E. dith von B.-Aumann-Stinkenstein – Nymphomaniac wastepaper empress and air-money counter, lusting across the galaxy.
- Herr Schildmeister – Riddle-spouting tactician with a waxed mustache and megaphone.
- Dumb Tom – Lasso-wielding cloud-catcher turned asteroid-roper.
- Murky Jan – Gay swamp gas maestro and transcrosser, dazzling in heels and a sequined cape, stinking up space.
- Dumb Beatrix – Holey loot sack seamstress, stitching space-suits.
- Crazy Pete – The Joker-inspired stink bomb hurler in a purple cape, bombing comets.
The headline rockets across Idiot Zeitung’s star-dusted pages: “STINK ODYSSEY IM WELTRAUM – E. DITHS NYMPHO-FART JAGT DIE STERNE!!!” After the Stink Louvre’s arty collapse, Pharaoh Kaiser L stands atop a wobbly wastepaper rocket in a foggy forest under bioluminescent trees, his drooping staff—still tangled with Bank of China memos—now a captain’s baton sparking with cosmic dust. His new obsession? The “Stink Odyssey,” a fart-powered space chase to conquer the galaxy, launched beneath a meteor shower. But E. dith von B.-Aumann-Stinkenstein’s nymphomania, now interstellar, turns it into a lusty, stinky supernova.
The Fart-Vac 3000, retooled as a rocket engine, blasts off with a thunderous PFFFFT, sucking up forest fog and spewing neon-blue fart-thrust past floating cacti and glowing mushrooms. The ship—a lopsided pile of paper and bubble-wrap—zooms through space, lit by ethereal fireflies and sparkling starlight. “Herr Schildmeister! Confound the cosmos with riddles!” Kaiser L croaks. Herr Schildmeister, atop a meteor-crusted hatch, booms:
“What lusts through stars, stinks of doom, and chases all in a cosmic gloom?”
Sky Police starfighters, gleaming with lasers, stall mid-pursuit, baffled by the riddle.
Dumb Tom, swinging from a balloon tethered to the ship, lassos asteroids, yelling, “Gonna rope us a moon!” E. dith lunges, her IOU gown fluttering, pinning him against a rock in a steamy clinch—Tom yelps, “Not in space!” Murky Jan, fabulous in sequined cape and heels, floats through zero-G, stirring his cauldron into a silver-and-orange brew. “This galaxy needs stellar stink, dolls!” he purrs, unleashing a musky mist that sends E. dith chasing him among the stars.
Dumb Beatrix, giggling, stitches space-suits from tax forms, her seams leaking air in loud WHOOSH bursts. “Suits fer flyin’!” she cheers, as suits flop onto Pete. Crazy Pete, cape swirling, hurls fish-shaped stink bombs at comets, shrieking, “Space needs spice!” The blasts turn the void into a fishy-fart meteor shower, fueling E. dith’s frenzy—she tackles Pete, then an asteroid, then the ship’s exhaust.
E. dith, now straddling the Stink-o-Tron, churns fart fumes into “space-shillings”—slimy gold coins she flings at the crew. “We’ve got 111 stink-orbits!” she howls, winking at Kaiser L, who slumps impotently, muttering, “My odyssey’s lost!” Murky Jan, dodging her grasp, quips, “Honey, she’s conquering the cosmos—you’re just stardust!”
The chase ignites: Sky Police starfighters, armed with anti-lust rays and mint torpedoes, zoom in to halt E. dith’s rampage. As she flirts with a pilot and Kaiser L faints into a comet trail, a new Idiot Zeitung headline flares: “STINK ODYSSEY VS. SKY POLIZEI – WIRD E. DITHS LUST DAS WELTRAUM ZERSTÖREN?!?” The scene fades with asteroids spinning, fart-mist swirling, and a nympho-spacepocalypse beneath a meteor shower. Tune in next time for more cosmic calamity!
Call to Action:
“Blast off with Stink Odyssey! Snag exclusive Idiot Zeitung star-fart chaos at patreon.com/berndpulch, or fling some space-shillings into E. dith’s nympho-cosmic chase at berndpulch.org/donation. Keep the galaxy stinking—support us now!”
Tags:
#Stinkbande #StinkOdyssey #PharaohKaiserL #EdithVonStinkenstein #FartVac3000 #IdiotZeitung #MurkyJan #CrazyPete #SpaceShillings #SkyPolice #SatireStinks
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