Let me know if you’d like
Characters:
- Pharaoh Kaiser L, the First Andreas L-Orch – Impotent mastermind with a pharaoh staff featuring a grappling hook, now an ad mogul.
- E. dith von B.-Aumann-Stinkenstein – Nymphomaniac wastepaper empress and air-money counter, lusting for sales.
- Herr Schildmeister – Riddle-spouting tactician with a waxed mustache and megaphone.
- Dumb Tom – Lasso-wielding cloud-catcher turned paper-shredder.
- Murky Jan – Gay swamp gas maestro and transcrosser, dazzling in heels and a sequined cape, stinking up the ads.
- Dumb Beatrix – Holey loot sack seamstress, stitching ad banners.
- Crazy Pete – The Joker-inspired stink bomb hurler in a purple cape, bombing the backyard.
The headline blasts across Idiot Zeitung’s crumpled, ink-stained pages: “STINK HORIZONT ÜBERFLUTET FRANKFURT – 10.000 WASTEPAPER, 5.000 SOFORT ZERSTÖRT!!!” After the cosmic flop of Stink Odyssey, Pharaoh Kaiser L (Andreas) stands in a grimy Frankfurt backyard, his drooping staff—still tangled with Bank of China memos—now a printing press lever. His latest scheme? Printing 10,000 wastepaper “Horizont” ad sheets to flood the skies with Stinkbande propaganda, dreaming of ad revenue gold. E. dith von B.-Aumann-Stinkenstein, her nymphomania now aimed at salesmen, pushes the plan into overdrive—only for half the stash to meet a fiery end.
The Fart-Vac 3000, rigged as a makeshift printer, chugs in the backyard, slurping up alley trash and spewing out 10,000 neon-yellow “Horizont” sheets—ads for “Stink-o-Tron Air Fresheners” and “Fart-Funded Timeshares”—under a meteor shower’s eerie glow. “Herr Schildmeister! Baffle the ad critics with riddles!” Kaiser L croaks. Herr Schildmeister, atop a rusty dumpster, booms:
“What prints in haste, stinks of greed, and burns to ash in a backyard’s need?”
Sky Police ad regulators, hovering with fines, stall mid-ticket, puzzled by the riddle.
Dumb Tom, swinging his lasso, ropes stacks of Horizont, yelling, “Gonna spread ‘em high!” E. dith pounces, her IOU gown fluttering, pinning him to a pile in a lusty sales pitch—Tom squeaks, “Not the ads!” Murky Jan, fabulous in sequined cape and heels, struts through the chaos, stirring his cauldron into a teal-and-red brew. “These ads need foxy fumes, darlings!” he purrs, unleashing a musky mist that sends E. dith chasing him, smearing ink on her gown.
Dumb Beatrix, giggling, stitches ad banners from tax forms, her seams unraveling mid-flight. “Banners fer bucks!” she cheers, as they flop onto Pete. Crazy Pete, cape swirling, hurls fish-shaped stink bombs at the stacks, shrieking, “Burn the flops!” His bombs ignite 5,000 sheets in a backyard bonfire, turning half the Horizont into a smelly ash cloud—E. dith, undeterred, flirts with the flames.
E. dith, straddling the Stink-o-Tron, churns fart fumes into “ad-tokens”—slimy orange coins she flings at the crew. “We’ve got 5,000 stink-sales!” she howls, winking at Kaiser L, who slumps impotently, muttering, “My ads are toast!” Murky Jan, dodging her grasp, quips, “Honey, she’s selling fire—you’re just smoke!” The surviving 5,000 sheets lift off, only to crash into Frankfurt’s skyline.
The mess explodes: Sky Police blimps, armed with paper-shredders and mint bombs, swoop in to stop the ad blitz. As E. dith flirts with a shredder pilot and Kaiser L faints into the ashes, a new Idiot Zeitung headline flares: “STINK HORIZONT VS. SKY POLIZEI – WIRD DER WERBE-FART ÜBERLEBEN?!?” The scene fades with cacti swaying, fart-mist swirling, and a backyard adpocalypse under a meteor shower. Tune in next time for more stinky misadventure!
Call to Action:
“Boost Stink Horizont’s ad chaos! Snag exclusive Idiot Zeitung wastepaper madness at patreon.com/berndpulch, or toss some ad-tokens into our fart-fueled blitz at berndpulch.org/donation. Keep the stink selling—support us now!”
Tags:
#Stinkbande #StinkHorizont #PharaohKaiserL #EdithVonStinkenstein #FartVac3000 #IdiotZeitung #MurkyJan #CrazyPete #AdTokens #SkyPolice #SatireStinks
Call to Action:
“Fan the flames of Stink Horizont’s ad blitz! Grab exclusive Idiot Zeitung wastepaper chaos at patreon.com/berndpulch, or fling some ad-tokens into our fart-fueled fire at berndpulch.org/donation. Keep the stink selling (and burning)—support us now!”
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