Idiot Zeitung (IZ): “Stink Betrayal – Hinterfozzige Janelle’s Sky Versailles”
Characters:
- Pharaoh Kaiser L, the First Andreas L-Orch – Impotent mastermind with a pharaoh staff featuring a grappling hook, now a betrayed ruler.
- E. dith von B.-Aumann-Stinkenstein – Nymphomaniac wastepaper empress and air-money counter, lusting amid chaos.
- Herr Schildmeister – Riddle-spouting tactician with a waxed mustache and megaphone.
- Dumb Tom – Lasso-wielding cloud-catcher turned palace-roper.
- Hinterfozzige Janelle (formerly Murky Jan) – Gay swamp gas maestro turned treacherous diva, dazzling in heels and a sequined cape, aiming for the throne.
- Dumb Beatrix – Holey loot sack seamstress, stitching betrayal banners.
- Crazy Pete – The Joker-inspired stink bomb hurler in a purple cape, bombing the coup.
The headline screeches across Idiot Zeitung’s tattered, betrayal-soaked pages: “STINK BETRAYAL IM HIMMEL – HINTERFOZZIGE JANELLE WILL PHARAOH WERDEN!!!” After the Stink Horizont’s fiery ad flop, the Stinkbande reels in a Frankfurt backyard under a meteor shower. Pharaoh Kaiser L, atop a charred wastepaper heap, grips his drooping staff—still tangled with Bank of China memos—unaware of the storm brewing. Murky Jan, reborn as Hinterfozzige Janelle after a dramatic swamp gas epiphany, struts forth, heels clicking, cape flaring, with a new plan: betray the crew, oust Kaiser L, and rule from a Versailles sky palace of fart-fueled opulence.
The Fart-Vac 3000, hijacked by Janelle, roars to life, sucking up backyard ash and blasting out a gaudy sky palace—paper walls, bubble chandeliers, and neon-pink fart-mist—floating amid cacti under starry skies. “Herr Schildmeister! Confuse the loyalists with riddles!” Kaiser L pleads. Herr Schildmeister, atop a smoldering dumpster, booms:
“Who stinks of trust, then turns to foe, and builds a throne where farts do flow?”
Sky Police loyalty drones, buzzing with scanners, stall mid-swoop, rattled by the riddle.
Dumb Tom, swinging his lasso, ropes palace spires, yelling, “Gonna tie it down!” Janelle, eyes gleaming, trips him with a heel, purring, “Join me, cowboy!”—Tom tumbles into a bubble chandelier. E. dith, her IOU gown fluttering, spots Janelle’s flair and lunges, nymphomania flaring, “Oh, you’re mine now!” Janelle dodges, twirling her cauldron into a gold-and-black brew. “This palace needs treacherous chic!” she purrs, unleashing a musky mist that blinds the crew and seduces E. dith into a lusty chase.
Dumb Beatrix, giggling, stitches betrayal banners from tax forms—“JANELLE 4 PHARAOH”—her seams flapping loose. “Flags fer backstabbin’!” she cheers, as they snag Pete. Crazy Pete, cape swirling, hurls fish-shaped stink bombs at the palace, shrieking, “Traitor’s toast!” The blasts turn bubble walls into smelly swiss cheese, but Janelle laughs, “My Versailles stinks supreme!”
E. dith, straddling the Stink-o-Tron, churns fart fumes into “loyalty-tokens”—slimy green coins she flings at Janelle. “We’ve got 5,000 stink-oaths!” she howls, winking at Kaiser L, who slumps impotently, muttering, “My band’s gone!” Janelle, dodging coins, quips, “Darling, I’m the new pharaoh—your nympho’s too late!”
The coup crescendos: Sky Police drones, armed with allegiance rays and mint bombs, dive in to crush the mutiny. As Janelle vogues atop her palace, E. dith flirts with a drone, and Kaiser L faints into ash, a new Idiot Zeitung headline flares: “STINK BETRAYAL VS. SKY POLIZEI – WIRD HINTERFOZZIGE JANELLE SIEGEN?!?” The scene fades with cacti swaying, fart-mist swirling, and a sky palace coup under a meteor shower. Tune in next time for more stinky treachery!
Call to Action:
“Defy Hinterfozzige Janelle’s Stink Betrayal! Snag exclusive Idiot Zeitung chaos at patreon.com/berndpulch, or toss some loyalty-tokens into our fart-fueled fight at berndpulch.org/donation. Keep the Stinkbande stinking—support us now!”
Tags:
#Stinkbande #StinkBetrayal #PharaohKaiserL #EdithVonStinkenstein #HinterfozzigeJanelle #FartVac3000 #IdiotZeitung #CrazyPete #LoyaltyTokens #SkyPolice #SatireStinks
Call to Action:
“Thwart Hinterfozzige Janelle’s Stink Betrayal! Grab exclusive Idiot Zeitung treachery at patreon.com/berndpulch, or fling some loyalty-tokens into our fight against her fart-palace at berndpulch.org/donation. Keep the Stinkbande united—support us now!”
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