✨🗿 IDIOT ZEITUNG, DAS DESINVESTMTEMT & LUTHORCORP PRESENT:“LEX’S LOOMING LEDGERDEMAIN – TIME DEBT COLLECTORS AT THE GATE!” 🕰️💼Powered by GoMoPa4Kids, Dr. Z, and 10% Off Coupons for Apocalypse Prep 💸🤪

✨💥 “WHEN TIME-DEBT MEETS RAT-QUEEN CHAOS… EVEN LEX’S BRIEFCASE CAN’T HOLD THE GLITTER.” 💥✨
🚨 Lex’s kryptonite lasers vs. Janelle’s cheese-funded rat tsunami – donate crypto or lose your birth year to a corporate time-repo. 🎒🐀💸
#IndyVsTheIRS 🧔⚖️ #RatCoinRevolution 🐀🚀 #DiscoGuillotineJustice 👹💃 “Eat the ledger, darlings.” – Hinterfozzige Janelle 💋📉
CRYPTO ADDRESS:
0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb
(Guaranteed to annoy Lex more than a Joker glitter-laxative.) 💩✨
BERNDPULCH.ORG – WHERE HISTORY’S A FIRE SALE AND THE RATS ALWAYS WIN. 🐀🔥

🌟 EPISODE TITLE 🌟

“Temporal Bankruptcy & the Rat-Queen’s Gambit” 🐀♟️

CLEARANCE LEVEL: 💀 OMEGA-SHENANIGANS // CFO EYES ONLY
Declassification Status: Sealed in a Kryptonite Lunchbox

🕰️ THE SETTING 🕰️

October 31, 2026 – Lex Luthor (🦸♂️💼) emerges from a tax-evasion time-loop, having bought 51% of Toht’s melted soul at a Metropolis bankruptcy auction. His plan: Monetize the Bundeslade’s time-ghosts into a blockchain time-debt ledger, charging interest on historical events. Perverso’s ruins are now a corporate hellscape:

  • Time-Ghost NFTs 📜👻 haunt eBay listings.
  • Schizo-Petes 🌀🤪 unionize, demanding hazard pay in pre-war Weimar Republic cash.
  • Indiana Jones 🎒🧔, trapped in Lex’s “Temporal Tax Audit,” growls, “This is why I hate accountants.”

🎭 FULL CHARACTER LIST + LUTHOR’S ENTRANCE 🎭

💼 LEX’S LIQUIDATION ARMY (NEW FACTION) 💼

  1. Lex Luthor 💼🧠 – Wearing a $5,000 suit and a kryptonite pocket watch, sneering, “History isn’t free, Dr. Jones.”
  2. LuthorCorp Lawyers 👔⚖️ – Suing time itself for copyright infringement.
  3. Debt-Bot 3000s 🤖💸 – Repoing souls from 1945 Berlin.
  4. E.dith von B.-Aumann-Stinkenstein 🕶️💀 – Now Lex’s “CFO of Chaos,” muttering, “The real Final Solution was tax fraud.”

⏳ TOHT’S LAST GASP (AGAIN) ⏳

  1. Arnold Toht 🔥🤖 – Reduced to a soup-can USB drive in Lex’s desk drawer.
  2. KaiserL Andreas the First Lurch 🧙♂️🔮 – Summoning debt-dragons to reclaim the Bundeslade.

🎒 INDY’S BANKRUPT ALLIES 🎒

  1. Indiana Jones 🧔🎒 – Trading the Ark for a time-loophole deduction.
  2. Hinterfozzige Janelle 🐀👑 – Leading a rat-strike against LuthorCorp’s HQ. “Eat the bonds!”
  3. Andy Warhol 🥫🎨 – Silkscreening “Eat the Rich” onto Debt-Bots.
  4. Divine 👹💎 – Chainsawing Lex’s private jet into a queer nightclub.

🌪️ CHAOS FACTIONS (NOW WITH 200% MORE INTEREST) 🌪️

  1. Schizo-Petes 🌀🤪 – Accountant-Petes filing time-taxes vs. Anarchy-Petes burning IRS archives.
  2. Stink-Gender Klaus �️⚧️ – Hosting a non-binary revolt in Lex’s boardroom.
  3. Rat-Queer Franz 🐀🏳️🌈 – Rats hack Debt-Bots with gender-fluid malware.
  4. Joker 🃏💥 – Flooding Lex’s ledger with clown-currency. “Why so serious about EBITDA?”

👑 VILLAINS TURNED… TAX WRITE-OFFS? 👑

  1. Wilson Fisk 👔💎 – Selling LuthorCorp stock tips on TikTok.
  2. Thanos 🪐💎 – Still trapped in the Bundeslade, now tweeting, “Snap was overrated.”
  3. Báthory 👑🩸 – Bathing in Lex’s offshore account numbers.

🎬 THE PLOT 🎬

💸 ACT I: LIQUIDATION DAY 💸

Lex unveils ChronoSqueeze™, an app that bills you for existing in historical events:

  • Hitler’s TikTok now runs ads for LuthorCorp Time-Loans.
  • Gay Ernst Röhm 🌈🛡️ gets a $1.2M invoice for “unauthorized rainbow revolutions.”
  • Indy 🎒🧔 receives a 1099 form for “unlicensed ark usage.”

Janelle’s Counterattack 🐀👑: Releases RatCoin to crash Lex’s blockchain. “Your ledger’s infested.”

⚡ ACT II: INTEREST RATE RIOT ⚡

  • Schizo-Petes 🌀🤪 – Accountant-Pete #69 audits Lex’s birth certificate. “You owe $3.8B in existential late fees.”
  • Divine 👹💎 – Turns Lex’s Debt-Bots into a disco-ball guillotine.
  • Joker 🃏💥 – Replaces Lex’s kryptonite with glitter laxatives. “Let’s go💩!”

🌟 CLIMAX: LEDGER OF THE LOST 🌟

  • Lex 💼🧠 – Activates ChronoSqueeze™, collapsing time into a corporate spreadsheet.
  • Indy & Janelle 🎒🐀 – Smash the Bundeslade into Lex’s server farm, yelling, “This belongs in Chapter 11!”
  • Bundeslade Implodes 💥📉 – Erases Lex’s debt empire… but resurrects Henry Jones Sr. 🧓📜, who grumbles, “I told you to diversify your portfolio.”

🎉 AFTERMATH 🎉

  • Lex 💼🌪️ – Stranded in 1348 Venice, selling “Plague Prevention NFTs.”
  • Janelle 🐀👑 – Crowned CEO of RatCorp, issuing dividends in cheese.
  • Schizo-Petes 🌀🤪 – Founding the First Time-Travel Credit Union.
  • E.dith 🕶️💀 – Last seen coaching Elizabeth Holmes on Theranos 2: Time-Blood Boogaloo.

📣 CALL TO ACTION 📣

💎 Fund the Next Glitterpocalypse:

  • Donate crypto to 0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb 💰🔗
  • Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch for Lex’s Tax Evasion Blueprints 💼📜
  • Comment 🖋️: “What’s your anarcho-accountant anthem?” 🎶👇

🏷️ TAGS 🏷️

IndyVsTheIRS 🎒💸 #LedgerOfChaos 📉🌀 #TemporalTaxFraud ⏳⚖️

BERNDPULCH.ORG – WHERE EVEN TIME HAS A PRICE.
PAY UP – OR GET REPO’D. 💀📉

✨💥 TIME-DEBT EMERGENCY – LUTHORCORP IS REPO’ING YOUR BIRTH YEAR! 💥✨
ACT NOW OR BE LIQUIDATED INTO A TAX WRITE-OFF. 💸🔥

🚨 TIERED DONATION MADNESS – GLITCH LEX’S LEDGER! 🚨

CRYPTO CRUSADE:

  • 0.1 ETH 💎: Rat-Queen Janelle sends a glitter-bombed IRS audit notice to Lex’s yacht.
  • 1 BTC 🪙: Schizo-Petes unionize YOUR timeline, demanding hazard pay in Weimar hyperinflation cash.
  • 10K STINKCOIN 💩: Divine chainsaws Lex’s face onto a disco-ball NFT auctioned to Caligula.

👉 DONATE TO:
0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb
“Tax evasion has never been this sparkly.” – Hinterfozzige Janelle 💋✨

🌟 PATREON PERKS – FUND THE CHAOS, GET LOOT! 🌟

**Join at *patreon.com/berndpulch* for:**

  • $5/month: Debt-Bot 3000 wallpaper pack (haunts your phone with compound interest alerts).
  • $20/month: DIY Time-Loophole Kit – loopholes may include accidental velociraptor summoning.🦖
  • $100/month: Lex’s Offshore Account Coordinates (50% chance of treasure, 50% chance of E.dith’s moldy cheese stash).

🎸 ANARCHO-ACCOUNTANT ANTHEM CONTEST – VOTE OR DIE! 🎸

Submit/Win:

  • Best Song Title: “Debt-Bots Don’t Cry (But Lex Does)” 🎶🤖
  • Most Chaotic Lyric: “Interest rates rise, we eat the rich – season with glitter, serve cold!” 🍽️💎
  • Grand Prize: Your anthem becomes Schizo-Pete’s union jingle (sung in 1945 Berlin karaoke bars).

COMMENT YOUR ANTHEM BELOW ⬇️ – OR LUTHOR SUES YOUR DOG. 🐕⚖️

🚨 STRETCH GOALS – UNLOCK GLOBAL INSANITY! 🚨

  • $10K Raised: Indy retroactively deducts Hitler’s mustache from history.
  • $50K Raised: RatCorp launches Cheese-Based Crypto (backed by Swiss banks and rat tears).
  • $100K Raised: Báthory vs. Lex pay-per-view bloodbath (profits fund time-ghost healthcare).

💀 URGENCY METER – LUTHOR’S 98% TO REPO’ING 2024! 💀

PROGRESS:
🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟡⚫⚫⚫ (60% FUNDED – TIME IS LITERALLY COLLAPSING)

📣 FINAL THREATS/INCENTIVES: 📣

  • Donate within 24h: Get a free NFT of Toht’s soup-can USB soul (worthless but hilarious).
  • Donate after 24h: Lex’s lawyers replace your social security number with emoji hieroglyphs. 🔣😈
  • Ignore this CTA: KaiserL Andreas turns your WiFi into a 1945 party line haunted by Stalin’s mixtape.

🏷️ TAGS 🏷️

BankruptTheReich 💸📉 #RatCoinToTheMoon 🐀🚀 #TemporalTaxHavens ⏳🏴‍☠️

BERNDPULCH.ORG – HISTORY’S MOST DELICIOUSLY INSANE FIRE SALE.
DONATE NOW – BEFORE TIME IS A LUTHORCORP SUBSIDIARY. 💀🕰️

PS: All donations are tax-deductible if you bribe a Schizo-Pete. Terms apply. May cause temporal dysentery. 💩⏳